


The Forgotten Habitat

by LemonSuccubus



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ALL THE GOOD STUFF, Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Australia, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Bottom Zayn, But whatever, Buttsex, Consensual Kink, Cum Play, Death Cab for Cutie, End game Larry, Eventual Smut, Hand Jobs, Harry likes fish, Hickies, I made it a thing, I'm not sorry, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Like, Love Triangles, M/M, Marking, Masochism, Most of the time, Multi, Platypuses, Queen - Freeform, REALLY eventual, Rimming, Safe Sane and Consensual, Scratching, Smoking, Student!Harry, Sydney - Freeform, Tag, Tags for days, Taronga, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Harry, Top Louis, Top Zayn, Weekly Updates, Zoo, Zourry - Freeform, but NO daddy kink, but it's mostly larry obviously, but not too much, druggie Louis, druggie Zayn, everybody tops and everyone bottoms, get over it, guitarist!louis, i cant believe i forgot the basic, i fail, idek how many tags i could go on forever, idk - Freeform, intern!harry, it's actually 'platypodes', its mutual, just a lil, just be patient, larry stylinson - Freeform, lots of smoking, mentions of ass shotgunning, not the food, not too much though, oh and Harry's into, pianist!zayn, posessiveness, postal service, rich!Harry, several instances of shotgunning, they all discussed it, this story is long guys, way too much queen and death cab for cute/postal service, zarry moments, zookeeper!Louis, zookeeper!zayn, zouis, zouis pass me that blunt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:53:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 63
Words: 240,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonSuccubus/pseuds/LemonSuccubus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when teenage Louis and Zayn intentionally lit a nature preserve on fire.  Subsequently, 15 years later they're both running the platypus habitat at Sydney's Taronga Zoo.  Their lives have developed a predictable rhythm- a stark contrast from the past they share.  </p><p>That is, until Harry starts as an intern.  With a lust for life and affluent parents, he does much more than drastically change the dynamic between Louis and Zayn.</p><p>The three of them become so close that platypus attacks, societal class, and envy can't tear them apart... at least that's what they think.</p><p> or</p><p>The one in which Louis and Zayn are deadbeat 29 year olds running a zoo enclosure and Harry shakes it all up.</p><p>Warnings:  Age difference (19/29/29 NO daddy kink).  Smut.  Language.  Love triangle mess.  One instance of a threesome.  Mention of previous attempted suicide and rape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Authors Note/Summary/Book Trailer

 

 

 

 

 

~~~

Hello my succubi!

This is the new full length novel I have been working on. It is Larry/Zourry which, to me, means that Larry is the dominant ship and focus in the book, but Zayn is also a strong supporting romantic character throughout.

To answer everybody's first question, everyone tops and bottoms (actually that's a lie... nobody tops Zayn lol) but it will be _generally_ a top!Louis and bottom!Harry because that's just how I roll.

To answer everybody's second question, even though there is an age difference (19/29/29) there is not an (actual) daddy kink. There is mention of joking about it, but not the kink itself.

 **I will be posting the first chapter of this story on November 1st** after Cat and Mouse is finished being uploaded. In the meantime, if you have not read Fading Zen or Purple Reign, you can check them out. They are my other full length Larry novels.

If you are the kind who enjoys book trailers, it's at the end of the chapter, or here's a link: [https://youtu.be/IUbe6BXJjcU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUbe6BXJjcU)

If you haven't read the summary for The Forgotten Habitat yet, here it is :)

~~~

It all started when teenage Louis and Zayn intentionally lit a nature preserve on fire.  Subsequently, 15 years later they're both running the platypus habitat at Sydney's Taronga Zoo.  Their lives have developed a predictable rhythm- a stark contrast from the past they share. 

That is, until Harry starts as an intern.  With a lust for life and affluent parents, he does much more than drastically change the dynamic between Louis and Zayn.

The three of them become so close that platypus attacks, societal class, and envy can't tear them apart... at least that's what they think.

~~~

Full disclosure: I'm from America. I've only ever visited Australia, but I don't live there. If there are inaccuracies in my story, **please feel free** to tell me!! I want this to be as authentic as possible, but the internet can only help me so much :)

I have to say thank you so much to each and every one of you guys. You guys are all so hardcore, fun, cute, supportive, and just amazing human beings. Thank you for every time you have shared, mentioned, and supported my story in any and every way. I would love to personally know each and every one of you, so if I don't, send me a message, **tweet me on Twitter** , inbox me on Tumblr, Kik me, Instaspam me (idfk how Instagram works) so we can become acquainted ^_^

I hope you guys are so excited! I am absolutely stoked!

Huge thank you to [LouisTwinklinson](https://www.wattpad.com/user/LouisTwinklinson) for her never ending mentorship to me.  
Another massive thank you to [LowQualityLarry](https://www.wattpad.com/user/LowQualityLarry) for being a great sounding board and support for all of my stories and ideas.  
And I can't forget to thank [AR_Cole](https://www.wattpad.com/user/AR_Cole) for helping me out with some of the Australian questions I had!!  
Check out all their stories... they are awesome authors :) xx

As always, I love good, bad, neutral, and funny feedback. Don't be scared to share your opinions with me! I love dedicating my chapters to readers who leave heartfelt or funny comments throughout.

I try to keep my A/N short throughout the story so as to not take away from your overall reading experience, so hopefully this one before the story can answer a lot of questions, comments, and concerns so that the other chapters can be full of story content and dedications on my end, and excitement on yours :D.

I love you guys!

-LemonSuccubus a.k.a. Dannie Y. Nelson :)

 

Book Trailer:


	2. Chapter 1

     

~~~ 

Louis wakes up to Zayn bellowing out [Bohemian Rhapsody ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ&index=1&list=PLkIrAVgIXmwMVqNbrm8RTXrUL9CVpH__L)and a platypus on his face. 

Zayn falls to his knees in front of Louis gesturing with his hands while he serenades and head bangs to the heavy guitar riff.  "Louiiiiiiissss babaaaayyyyy!"

Jerry, the platypus, scratches Louis' ear as he desperately flees into the water. 

"Damn it Zayn!  Jerry scratched me!"  Louis slaps Zayn's quiff, knowing that it will do more damage than a slap to the face would ever to do him.

"Hey!"  Zayn bats Louis' hands away and leans over to the nearest mirror to fix his hair.  "Stop falling asleep at work then.  Then you won't have platypai biting your ears off.  You need them so you can appreciate my daily serenades to you."

Louis hisses as his hand meets his ear.  "Shit."  He pulls his hands down to look at his fingers.  There's blood on his fingertips.  "I'm bleeding.  And it's 'platypodes.'  We've been over this thousands of times."

Zayn grabs a towel and holds it to Louis' ear.  "The blood makes you look tough.  It's a real turn on for the lads.  I did you a favor really."

"Sure.  Thank you."  Louis yawns and stretches his arms out.

"Sleep well princess?"  Zayn taunts.

Louis bats Zayn's hand away and holds the towel to his ear.  "No actually.  You woke me up 15 minutes too early.  I was just getting to the best part of my dream." 

"Was someone dreaming of true love?"  Zayn bats his eyelashes and ruffles Louis' hair.

Louis looks at the clock.  "God, how are you so alive right now?  It's 2pm and I'd rather be sleeping." 

"I drank an extra cup of coffee so that my ass could pick up the work that yours was blatantly ignoring.  You'll lighten up after we set up for presenting."  Zayn says.

"I'll lighten up after we light up."  Louis pulls the rag away from his ear and notes that most of the bleeding has stopped.  "Also, you owe Jerry an apology.  He was sleeping too."

"Alright, alright.  My bags in my jacket pocket.  I'll get out the platypus treats and give them snuggles while you roll 'em up."  Zayn grabs the bag of shrimp crisps and walks to the edge of the water, changing his voice to a ridiculous cooing tone.  "Is Jerry cranky because I woke him and his favorite zookeeper up?  Come here buddy.  I'm so sorry."  Zayn pulls a crisp from the bag and drags it back and forth across the surface of the water.

Louis gets up and shuffles through Zayn's jacket.  He finds the bag of weed and cigars.  He's glad that the platypus enclosure is half indoors and half outdoors, and part of the outdoor section is hidden from the public's view.  He would most definitely have lost his job by now if they could see half the things that went on in the platypus habitat.

He sits on his lawn chair at the edge of the sectioned off area and watches the platypodes flock to Zayn's hand in a fashion similar to how girls flock to his quiff.  He laughs to himself at the thought and pinches his nails into the cigar to cut a straight line down the length of it, glad that he keeps his fingernails long for guitar and blunt-making purposes.  He scrapes half the insides of the cigar into the trash bin.

Jerry has let go of his grudge against Zayn already, and snuggles up on his arm like the forgiving mammal he is.  The other four platypodes, Tom, Rico, Winston, and Dez, are clambering over top of Jerry, fighting for Zayn's affection.  Again, all too similar to women, Louis thinks.

Louis packs the weed into the wrapping then brings it up to his lips to lick the edges of it.  Sealing and packing it together, he pulls out his lighter to the tip, and takes a long drag. 

Zayn plops down on the lawn chair next to him.  "Careful, there's a bit more hash in there than normal."

Louis takes another hit and waves him off.  "That's what I like to hear.  I'd need a word with Niall if he was cheating you of the good bits."

Zayn accepts the blunt from him and takes several short hits in succession.  "You know we won't be able to smoke every day once the interns start up tomorrow."  He passes it back to Louis.

Louis inhales the drug and blows out a circle.  "Yeah I know.  We can always send them home a bit early.  No intern likes scraping up grimy platypus shit for longer than we force them to."  He chuckles out before taking another hit.

"False actually.  Remember Adam?  He tried just about anything to get into my pants.  And then there was Lizzie.  She stopped at nothing trying to impress you.  I think between the two of them, we probably only did an hour of manual labor a day that winter."  Zayn looks off reminiscent into the overcast sky.

"Ah yes.  Poor Lizzie.  I tried giving her hints so many times too.  She was just too young to understand."  Louis remembers liking her well enough as an employee, but never having an interest in her passed that.  Girls are definitely not his thing.

"No, I think you're getting too old.  And too picky."  Zayn says.

Louis reaches forward to slap Zayn again, but almost drops the blunt in the process and scrambles to grab it before it falls to the ground.  "I'm not picky.  I'm particular.  There's a difference."

"Not when you're 29 mate."  Zayn takes the blunt from Louis.

"You say it like you're not 29 as well.  We have ourselves, and that's all that matters really.  I will be doing everyone a favor by dying alone."  Louis leans back into his brown lawn chair.  Zayn's is a matching cream colored one.  They never sit on each other's chairs.  It would be a violation of their friendship and trust.

Zayn sighs.  "You want to finish this up?  I'll get the sound system set up for the presentation, then we can get out of here and head to the bar."  Zayn hands the blunt back to Louis.

"Sure mate.  Thanks."  Louis closes his eyes and finishes off the drug as Jerry crawls back into his lap.

~~~~

The sun is dipping down and shining across the ocean, reflecting the 8pm winter sunset that creates a small glare through the window.  Louis soothes his hands over the neck of his guitar as he sits on stage with Zayn at the piano. 

Blue Grounds is the local sort of bar-café fusion.  Hipster and relaxed with no threat of rowdy crowds.  It's by far their favorite of the many they've been to; it also may have to do with the fact that they get to play here and get free drinks.

Zayn leans the microphone stand into him and his lips tickle the head of the microphone as he speaks.  "Hello Blue Grounds.  Thanks for coming to hear us play.  This is Louis..."  Zayn motions to Louis, and Louis offers a wave at the few people sitting on couches and at the bar, "And I'm Zayn.  We'll be singing Life Is Wonderful by Jason Mraz."

Louis plucks a couple strings before starting to strum the first notes.  On cue, Zayn's tranquil voice fills the speakers.  Louis brings them to the bridge, then the chorus, and he leans in to add some back-up vocals.  He loves this feeling of getting lost in the music.  The melody, lyrics, and music sing to his soul that gives him a high similar to when he smokes.  His mind and body finally relax and separate from themselves to allow serenity to take over. 

Zayn finishes the song.  They play through a couple more Jason Mraz songs, then wrap up their small set with a few of their favorites by Lifehouse.  Louis only takes the lead vocals for one of the songs because as much as he enjoys singing, he'd rather be fully invested in making music with his instrument.  The audience is polite and gives them a couple cheers and claps at the end of each song. 

His calloused fingers release the strings of his guitar as Zayn stands from the piano bench and takes a bow.  Louis gives the audience one last smile and wave before stepping off the stage.

"Good work tonight mate.  I really like how you started improving on those bridges in the last bit."  Zayn fixes his shirt and takes a drink of their complimentary draft beer.

He looks a bit ridiculous honestly.  Zayn's after-work wardrobe is always a little too trendy, and Louis thinks it's probably because there's still a part of Zayn that rebels against the idea of growing up and he wants to stay in his early university-day twenties forever.

Maybe Louis isn't one to talk though.  He's one more for long flannel or cotton shirts and some simple skinny jeans.  That's about as trendy as he gets.

"Thanks Z.  You staying here for a while?"  Louis leans over to put his guitar back into its case.

"Yeah.  Do you mind?  You could stay too, you know.  I'll be your wingman."  Zayn persuades.

"Nah.  You have fun.  I'll just head back to the flat and pick up more blend on the way.  I noticed we were low on coffee this morning."  Louis slings his guitar case over his shoulder.  "Feel free to bring someone home, I'll cover you tomorrow morning if you need it." 

Zayn's piercing brown eyes soften when they smile at Louis.  "Thanks love.  See you around then."  He pulls Louis into a half hug and gives him a kiss on the cheek before strolling over to chat up the new brunette bartender.

Louis smiles as he leaves Blue Grounds.  He packs his guitar into the trunk of his Outback and hops into the front seat to turn on his favorite mix cd.  One day he'll invest in a deck for his car so he can plug in his phone instead of having to rely on archaic technology; but for now, he'd rather use the money to feed his smoking habits.

He rolls down the window of his car and pulls out his pack of Winfields, shaking the pack so one pokes up above the others.  He closes his lips around it to pull it from the pack and lights the tip.  He takes a few drags, blowing them out his window, before starting his car and driving.

The beginning of June brings the winter chill that Louis loves.  The nippy weather bites at his skin reminding him that he's alive.  Winter would be his favorite season, but he's always disappointed that the wildlife is less prevalent in the colder season, but it is Sydney, so the overall wildlife he sees on a daily basis would be about the same anyway.

Well, unless you consider the animals at the zoo wildlife; but he doesn't think that quite counts.

The grocery store parking lot is generally empty since it's 9:30 on a Sunday night.  He puts his car into park and notices a mother holding a child's hands.  The boy is wearing one of those hats with the twirly spinning mechanism on top, and his Little Einstein shoes light up with every step he takes. 

Louis loves kids.  But he also hates them.  He's constantly torn between wanting to have the joy of raising a child, but not wanting to be a burden to them once he becomes older.  This is of course, assuming that he has a partner to raise the child with; but that ingredient of the formula seems to be falling farther and farther away from his grasp.

Maybe Zayn will end up alone and they end up being domestic partners- not that they haven't lived together long enough for the government to already title them as such. 

Give Zayn a few more years, he thinks, and he will be a fitting co-parent.  He and Zayn had drunkenly mentioned the idea to each other one night when they were discussing the prospect of neither of them finding a husband (or optional wife in Zayn's case), but still wanting to have kids.  Zayn proclaimed he would name their son Gunther.

If that day ever came, Louis would definitely have to have a serious discussion with Zayn about his ideas of kid names.

For now, Louis grabs their favorite bag of coffee and makes his way to the checkout and gets back into his car.

He pulls into his side of the carport and grabs his guitar from the back as he shuffles around his keychain for the house keys.  Having separated it from the rest, he fiddles with the lock until it gives way and opens the door to his flat. 

He kicks off his brown Pumas into the pile of Zayn's assorted mass of shoes with all variations of patterns, words and colors.  Their flat is starting to get a little messy, but that's okay because Monday is their designated cleaning day, so it's only justifiable that Sunday is the messiest day of their week.

Putting the coffee in the cupboard, Louis flattens his foot across the peeling linoleum floor to try and keep it from curling more.  Maybe he'll pay to get that fixed someday. 

Guitar in its rightful corner of his bedroom, Louis steps out to his front porch and takes a seat on the first sofa he ever owned. He and Zayn had moved it there with the intention of kicking it to the curb and hoping someone either stole it or took it to the dump for them.  However, they only made it to the porch before sitting down on it to take a break.  The break, of course, included a blunt, and that's when they decided it would be their smoking sofa since they never smoked in their house and sofas were more comfortable than lawn chairs. 

So maybe it's a little ghetto.  Louis doesn't care.  It's practical really. 

Remembering that Zayn has their weed for the week, Louis pulls out a cigarette instead.  The nicotine fills his veins and calms his nerves.  Nerves that have been itching under his skin lately that feel an awful lot like impulsivity.  He can't pinpoint when or why it started exactly.  Maybe it's the change of the season.  Maybe he needs a vacation.  Maybe he's desperate to hold on to what's left of his former, youthful self. 

In any case, impulsive is not a place Louis likes to be.

He drops the butt in the ashtray next to the sofa, decides against lighting another, and locks the door on his way inside.  In his bedroom, he shimmies down to his briefs and wonders if Zayn will end up bringing the brunette bartender home. 

That thought is followed by wondering if maybe that's what he's craving.  Maybe it's companionship.  Except he negates it almost immediately because Zayn is basically his companion in every sense of the word.

If he has Zayn, why would he need anyone other than Zayn and himself?

Louis shrugs off the thoughts and picks up his phone.  He decides on two games of online chess before he falls asleep. 

~~~~

7 am and Louis wakes up right as the sun is peeking over the horizon.  It's a day like many others where he wakes up happy to work at a zoo at 29 years old and live the life he's leading.  It's a respectable blue-collar lifestyle, he thinks.

He showers and changes into his work uniform: a collared, short-sleeved, tan, safari looking shirt, and forest green shorts.  He gives himself a smile in the mirror and adjusts his hair, then heads downstairs to make his morning coffee.

He drives in solidarity, enjoying the way the ocean looks as he commutes to work.  He parks in the employee parking lot and steps out of the view of others to have a cigarette before going through the gate and punching his time card.

The platypodes start grunting at him the second they hear the door creak open.  They're each in their own sleeping compartment, and Louis can't let them out into the habitat until they've all had breakfast, but it doesn't stop them from begging otherwise.

He weighs and prepares their food, then lets them eat.  After they're finished, he opens up the gates and the platypodes scramble out and splash into the water.  Jerry swims to the shore for a loving scratch on his belly from Louis, then swims back to play with the others.

Louis pops in a stick of gum and smiles as he watches them, then gets on with the morning chores. 

Zayn moseys in right at 10.  "Brought you a frappe.  Thanks for covering me this morning."

"No problem. Thanks.  Any luck with the bartender last night?"  Louis sets his rake up against the wall and sits on his brown lawn chair. 

Zayn hands Louis the cold coffee and sits on his cream-colored lawn chair.  "No.  A fucking mystery, he is.  I tried for hours hitting on him and I can't tell if he's just very professional or if he's like, super broody and mysterious.  He wouldn't even throw me a crumb." 

"Damn, I'm sorry.  I'm sure he'll crack.  Don't push it too hard though.  Just let it happen."  Louis takes a sip of the sweet caffeine.  "He may have been unnerved by your outgoingness.  Guys may not see it as you swooping them off their feet like girls do.  So he's probably the type who prefers a more relaxed approach."  Louis likes to think he is a good people reader- heaven knows he's spent enough time watching and analyzing others.

"That is, if he's even in to guys.  He could be straight as an arrow."  Zayn waves his hands in the air.  "If you held a gun to my head and told me to side one way or the other, I'd end up dead." 

"Mate, there's no need to be overdramatic.  I'll help you out next time we play.  Or we can go sooner if you feel like you simply can't resist."  Louis pokes the straw around in his drink to mix up what's left in the cup. 

Zayn sighs beside him.  "Maybe the point is moot anyway.  I have plenty others I could spend time wooing.  Or I could just have some 'me' time.  You know, party and play a bit."

"You continue marinating on that."  Louis hides his eye roll because really, Zayn is so predictable.  "But until then, we have two hours till the interns show up and we need to basically have everything done since they will be absolutely useless their first day."

"God, I hate first days."  Zayn complains.

"Oh cheer up!  First days are the best.  They show up all invigorated and excited about life.  They are our country's future do-gooder citizens of society."  Louis stands up to throw his empty cup away.

"I think we both know that just because they're interning at a zoo, doesn't mean shit about their character or their future.  Neither of us would be here if your theory was true."  Zayn argues.

Louis flits his hand in the air.  "How we ended up here is neither here nor there.  What's important is the now.  We are happy now, as are the youth of Australia who will be arriving today." 

"You realize they're not all youths?"  Zayn asks perfunctorily. 

"It's just an expression Z.  Regardless, they get younger every year, and I older and wiser.  So it's completely reasonable for me to classify them as youths."  Louis states.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night bro."  Zayn says.

Louis laughs at Zayn's determination to speak like a hipster.  "Bro."  He whispers to himself and rolls his eyes fondly. He pops in another piece of gum, then gets to work.

~~~~

A/N: Thanks for reading! Next update will be Sat, November 7.

I've created a [YouTube playlist ](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkIrAVgIXmwMVqNbrm8RTXrUL9CVpH__L)for all the songs that will be mentioned throughout the book and will add to it as the story advances. I'm Dannie Y. Nelson on YouTube and the playlist is called The Forgotten Habitat, so enjoy!!

Twitter: [@LemonSuccubus](https://twitter.com/lemonsuccubus)

Love you guys! xoxo


	3. Chapter 2

~~~

It's noon.  Louis and Zayn have just finished their first presentation of the day and are busy wrapping up their microphones. 

They do a presentation at 11:30am and one at 3pm every day.  It involves them standing outside the platypus habitat with their microphones where a small stage and a couple dozen rows of benches are set up.  Parents come with their children and they keep it informal and fun for the kids.  They welcome the crowd, go into basic platypus facts, tell a funny anecdote about working with the animals, and then end with a Q&A. 

Louis and Zayn take turns as the main presenter, Louis taking the first show since he's a diehard morning person, and Zayn taking the spotlight for the second show after his umpteenth cup of coffee. 

When the interns start, they will add some different interactive things with the kids during the presentations like walking around with a platypus hide for the kids to pet or feeding the platypodes to make them more active for the audience.  As the interns become more seasoned, Louis and Zayn sometimes let them take over the presentations.

The audience is dissipating now that the presentation is over, and in the back sits, who Louis assumes to be, their new interns for the season; a boy and a girl.  They seem to notice each other too, both looking across the bench and realizing that they are the only ones still in the theatre.  The boy can't be much more than 16 years old with dimpled cheeks and brown curly hair. 

Very cute Louis thinks.  Too cute.

The girl looks a little older.  Maybe 17; very pretty and probably from Singapore.

Louis really should have listened when Conner was briefing him and Zayn on the new hires for this season.  Then maybe he'd at least know their names.  Though he seems to recall something about having two girls this year.

The boy motions to the girl that they should approach the front together, and he leads her towards Louis.  Louis watches them out of the corner of his eye, noting that the boy is an ambitious natural leader.

Zayn had left to put the microphones back, which leaves Louis to fiddle with the SHOWS TODAY: 11:30 A.M. and 3:00 P.M. sign since it had gotten knocked over yet again.  It's a very delicate procedure to get it balanced just right.

He puts on a smile and is about to feign a look of surprise at their approach, but it turns out to be unnecessary because Louis is floored in surprise at a close-up view of the curly-haired lad. 

His skin looks like a Shakespeare sonnet and a country song painted together.  The green in his eyes are hardly a discernable green because there's a fire that dances behind them, blinding onlookers from only seeing the superficial.  His pouty lips look like they've never pouted a day in his life and have a thousand questions about to dive off the plush, pink skin.

Louis needs Zayn.

"Hello!  I'm Harry Styles!"  Harry smiles like he doesn't realize it radiates to everyone within a three meter perimeter of him.  "The new intern."

"And I'm Brooke Garland!  The other new intern.  Are you Louis or Zayn?"  She jumps in right after Harry finishes talking.

His brain is telling him to stop staring at Harry and to respond to Brooke's question.  "How old are you?"  Is what comes out instead.  He tries to act like his question was an intentional 'answer a question with a question' command-the-conversation type of question; but realizes it's useless because his baffled voice leaves no room to the imagination.

Harry realizes that Louis is speaking directly to him and smiles like Louis has just told him an inside joke.  "I'm 19..."  Harry teases a face that Louis knows is definitely on the side of playful rather than flirting.  "How old are you?" 

God, 19.  At least he is legal, but he's still 10 years younger for fucks sake.  Louis 10 years ago was definitely a different sight than Louis now. 

"Old enough to not answer that question.  Just making sure you're legal to be interning here, as we don't employ 14 year olds."  Louis teases.

Harry's open-mouthed look of mock offense shows off strong cheekbones that are otherwise hidden when he smiles.  Louis idly wonders how much younger he looks to other people when he's smiling. 

"I do not look 14!  And even if I did, I heard you started interning at 14, so I know that's not actually a real rule."  Harry says.

Louis smiles and raises an eyebrow.  "Stalking your boss now, are we?"

Brooke's smile has turned into a mixed look of fascination and rejection, not sure how the conversation she initiated resulted with her co-worker and boss hitting it off.  "So wait, are you Louis?"

"Yes."  Harry and Louis both answer at the same time. 

Louis looks at Harry with amusement. 

Harry bites his lip unable to hold back a smile, and speaks up.  "Conner just told me a lot in the interview... like that you started at 14.  Not a stalker, I swear."  Harry holds his hands up in defense.

"Zayn started at 14 too.  Your lies are invalid here Harry Styles."  Louis folds his arms and taps his foot against the floor.

Harry flushes and seems at a loss of what to respond with. 

Brooke holds a hand out, looking at Louis.  "Well it's good to meet you Louis.  I'm extremely excited to be interning here, and hope that the end of the season brings a positive assessment that allows me to become hired on next year full time." 

Louis shakes her hand.  "Very good Brooke.  We are fair in our evaluations and are always happy to employ faithful interns.  The work will be hard, but the payoff is very gratifying."

"I'm 22 by the way."  Brooke adds, and God, Louis is getting worse at the age guessing game.

"That's wonderful.  22 is a great age."  Louis responds.

"And 19 isn't?"  Harry interjects.

"I couldn't tell you.  Was too long ago for me to remember."  Louis winks at Harry and beckons them to follow him.  "I'll introduce you both to Zayn, we'll show you guys around the habitat, go to lunch, and then we'll come back here and get you to work."

Zayn is in the back weighing out the platypodes' dinners when he sees Louis and the two interns trailing behind him.  "Ah thank God!  Conner has gifted us with two competent, university-aged interns this year.  I was expecting a couple of pre-pubescent teenagers this season."

Brooke and Harry both laugh at Zayn and Zayn sets down the food to approach them.  "So you must be Brooke?"  He shakes Brooke's hand.

Brooke blushes, as Louis expected, upon making physical and eye contact with Zayn.  "Yes!  It's a pleasure to meet you."  Brooke says.

Zayn flicks his eyes to Louis in a way that Louis knows will end in a battle of ethics verses lust for Zayn.  Zayn then looks Harry up and down and raises an eyebrow.  "And you are?"

"Harry Styles!  Good to meet you Zayn."  Harry holds forward a hand.

Zayn shakes his hand and looks him up and down again in a way that Louis would definitely classify as inappropriate.  Harry, however, takes it in stride and just grins wider back at Zayn.

"Likewise.  This will be an interesting season."  Zayn nods approvingly.  "Quick tour, then lunch?"  Zayn looks to Louis to take the lead.

Louis leads them around the habitat and introduces them to the platypodes.  Most of them are wary the first few weeks of meeting the new interns.  Jerry is cordial and lets Harry touch his bill.  Brooke gets nipped at within five minutes, and Louis is glad he had them sign the disclosures already.

Zayn stays behind to bandage Brooke's hand, and Louis leads Harry to the zoo bistro, appropriately named The Beastro. 

"So Harry Styles, how are you liking your first day so far?"  Louis asks.

"You know you can just call me Harry?"  Harry chuckles.

"But you have such a great last name.  It should be utilized at every possible opportunity."  Louis holds open the door to The Beastro for Harry.

"Then should I call you Louis Tomlinson every time I address you?"  Harry teases as they get in line.

Louis strokes his beard.  "Hmm.  Probably not since that's quite the mouthful."  He snaps his fingers.  "But!  You can call me The Platypus Master if you would like.  It would substitute just as well for my name."

Harry outbursts with the kind of laugh that a normal person would try to subdue.  Louis wants to record it and play it for all the sad people.

"Is that what you tell all the ladies then?  'Call me The Platypus Master.'"  Harry attempts to imitate Louis.

It's Louis' turn to let out an unfiltered laugh at Harry.  "I never have used that line, but thank you for the suggestion!  I definitely will use it from now on."

Sabrina calls them forward from behind the counter.  "Welcome to The Beastro!  You must be the new intern in the Platitat?"  She asks Harry.

Harry turns to Louis with a look that asks him to translate.

Louis smiles and supplies an explanation.  "Platitat is the Platypus Habitat.  It's a bit of a mouthful to say every time, so we shorten it to the 'Platitat.'" 

Enlightenment crosses Harry's face and he nods his head at Sabrina.  "Yes.  I'm Harry Styles.  Newest intern at the Platitat."

Sabrina gives a look to Louis, then back to Harry.  "Well Harry Styles, what can I get you to eat today?"

"Um, sorry I didn't really get a chance to look at the menu..."  Harry trails off and looks to Louis.  "Any suggestions?"

"I always get the veggie with a side of sweets."  Louis shrugs.

"Platitat usual!"  Sabrina yells behind her to the kitchen.

Harry's eyes widen, but he just nods at Sabrina.  "I'll have that too."

"Two Platitats!"  Sabrina yells to the kitchen again.  "Will that be together or separate?"

Louis pulls out his wallet before Harry can object.  "Together." 

"Louis, no-"

"It's your first day, and you're an intern.  God knows I've mooched off of one too many employees through the years.  I'm just paying it forward."  Louis reasons and hands his card to Sabrina.

Harry accepts Louis' gesture and steps to the side.  Louis leads him to the coffee bar.

"So, what did we order?"  Harry asks.

Louis blinks.  "What?"

"A plate of vegetables and dessert?"  Harry tries.

Understanding hits Louis and he laughs.  "Veggie and a side of sweets is a veggie burger and baked sweet potato fries.  I get mine wrapped with extra lettuce instead of hamburger buns.  Why did you order it if you didn't know you would even like it?"

"It's my first day.  I have do what the cool kids do to fit in."  Harry jokes.

Louis prepares himself a cup of coffee.  "Then you are most certainly not copying the right person.  Zayn and I aren't cool.  Get yourself a drink.  It comes with your order."

Harry fixes himself a cup of tea.  "What are you and Zayn then?  You have to fill me in on all the zoo dynamics."

"Hmm, so you can leave us for the popular group?"  Louis teases.  "Remember where you came from Styles.  You were ours first." 

Harry laughs and Sabrina calls their order out.  Louis grabs a tray for himself and hands one to Harry. 

"Our table's over here."  Louis nods towards one of the corners. 

"In the corner?  Away from everyone else?"  Harry reiterates.

"Yep.  Here we are."  Louis sits down and motions for Harry to follow suit.  "Everything is super hot, so unless you like your tongue being scorched off, it's best to wait a few minutes.  Everything is made fresh here."

"That's cool."  Harry looks around the cafeteria.

Louis speaks up.  "To properly answer your question, since you seem to be set on categorizing everybody..." Louis gets Harry's attention, "Zayn and I are the loners.  We do what we want and don't try to branch out of the Platitat.  Other people's jobs require a lot of kissing as-" 

Louis cuts himself off and clears his throat.  "Sorry, we're in the lunchroom.  Children."  Harry nods in understanding and leans in closer to Louis.

"Anyway," Louis continues in a lower voice, "other people have to brown nose for promotions and raises.  Like the Eco Explorers.  They'll do anything to get a 10 cent raise.  They befriend everybody and will try to take your job the second you call in for a sick day." 

Harry narrows his eyes and surveys the lunchroom.

"I'll point them out to you when one passes by."  Louis offers.

"Okay.  Anyone else I should know about?"  Harry asks.

"The Reptile Rangers are really trustworthy and chill.  Them and the Marsupial Maniacs are the ones who cover for Zayn and I since they are cross trained to cover for us when we're sick.  But the Maniacs is a fitting name for them, and that's all I'm going to say about that."  Louis points his plastic fork at Harry.

"Be nice to everyone, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.  You're not allowed to let anyone in the Platitat without Zayn's permission or mine.  Other than that, no prejudging.  We're all a bunch of animal nerds here, so don't act like you aren't one too."  Louis stabs a sweet potato fry and sticks it in his mouth.

Harry nods and smiles like an elementary student preparing for an art project.  "Okay.  Definitely." 

"So, what is it that brings you to intern at our beloved zoo at 19 years of age?"  Louis fiddles with his fries and cuts them in half.  They're still too hot.

Harry perks up.  "I'm in school for marine biology.  One year left, but I need hands on experience if I ever want to end up with a proper career.  I would never go to Sea World for an internship, and all the positions were filled for microbiologists at the costal discovery labs and aquariums.  Sooo, that left me with the zoo; and all the marine life spots were filled..."

"So the Platitat was your absolute last choice?"  Louis feigns offense.

"No!  I mean.  I'm glad that I ended up here.  Platapai are really cool.  I like them too.  I just generally study more traditional sea life."  Harry rushes out.

'Platapai.'  Louis thinks to himself and chuckles.  "I'm only joking.  Lighten up." 

Speaking of lighting up...  Where is Zayn?  Then Louis realizes he doesn't actually need an answer because he already knows, and turns attention to Harry again.  "So where did you say you were from?"

"Penrith."  Harry sips on his tea.

Louis raises his eyebrows.  "You live an hour away?" 

"Yeah.  It's no big deal really.  I have to drive into Sydney for everything else anyway.  I may as well just move here."  Harry itches his nose.

"So why don't you?"  Louis pries into his cooled down veggie burger.

"Just family, ya know?  My mum and dad like me to be... around.  Do you live, um- in Sydney?"  Harry focuses on his food.

"Yep.  I live five minutes up the highway."  Louis says between bites.

Harry lets out an airy laugh.  "Wow, that's convenient." 

"What's convenient?"  Zayn strolls up with his tray of food and Brooke shadowing behind. 

It only takes Louis two seconds to know that Zayn's ethics lost the first battle, and he spent a good amount of time snogging on the clock.  "Me covering for you every morning.  And now lunch time it would appear."  Louis says.

Zayn purses his lips.  "Right.  Thanks again for that babe.  Remind me to bring dinner home for you tonight."

Louis waves Zayn off.  "Don't bother.  I'd rather you give me more Mary."

"She's all yours mate.  Even?"  Zayn compromises.

"Even."  Louis smiles.

Harry and Brooke are staring at Louis and Zayn.

Oops. 

"So, how do you like your first veggie burger mate?"  Louis asks Harry.

"It's really delicious.  But, you eat this every day?"  Harry looks down at his empty plate.  "Are you a vegetarian?"

"Yes I am, and are you calling me fat?"  Louis jests.

"No!  I don't think you're fat, I think you're fit-" Harry bites his lip.  "I think it's great that you're vegetarian, my sister was vegetarian-"

Zayn pats him on the shoulder.  "Don't mind Louis.  Jokes around a bit, but he's actually the cuddliest and sincerest shit you'll ever know.  Just make sure he's had his morning coffee first."

"You're one to talk.  You're a right foul git when you've missed your morning coffee."  Louis defends.

"Never said I wasn't."  Zayn lifts his cup of coffee and taps it against Louis'.

Louis finishes his coffee and pulls out his pack of gum.  He holds a stick out for Harry.  "Gum?"

Harry wipes his hands off with the napkin and accepts it from Louis.  "Sure.  Thank you."

They arrive back at the Platitat and Louis shows Harry the ropes.  Louis notices that Harry is a quick learner.  He's not afraid to ask questions, make mistakes, and he takes criticism well.  Afternoons don't drag in quite the way they normally would, and Louis attributes it to Harry's uncommonly positive attitude that may come off as young, but Harry manages to pull it off in a mature fashion. 

Not that Louis is one to categorize, but he has worked with many people over his 15 years at the zoo, and he's seen other people with Harry's similar traits intern before.  Harry hasn't brought it up, so Louis thinks Harry may be uncomfortable with the topic, but he's determined to confirm his suspicions.

~~~

Z

Since an interns' first day always starts towards the afternoon, the day is usually filled with Louis doing most of the teaching, and Zayn having to make up for his lack of personality by more or less wining and dining the new interns to convince them the Platitat is actually an exciting and engaging work environment. 

Obviously the interns are always quick to find out the following morning that Louis has a perkier side to him that would make old women's breasts want to jump back up, and then rightfully trade energy levels with Zayn by the time they get to lunch.

It's somewhat of a ritual during the first week for Louis and Zayn to show off their best selves during their optimal times of the day so as to win the loyalty of the interns first.  By the end of the season, Zayn and Louis always decide who had been better liked by a very complex scoring system they had set up for themselves. 

Some years, Zayn won the affection of both interns; the success to which Zayn attributes vastly to his good looks.  Some years, it was Louis with his gentle and encouraging nature.  And other years, as it would appear this one is going to be, Louis and Zayn would be tied 1-1.

One subject Zayn never quite mastered during his time in the uni veterinary program was chemistry.  However, it was always clear as day to him when two people have chemistry with each other. 

Louis has taken an uncharacteristically strong liking to Harry, which keeps his spirits higher than usual this afternoon, and Zayn thinks this is proving to be interesting.  Harry is different than any other 19 year old's they've had intern.

Mainly because Harry treats Louis and talks to him like he's already known him for years.  Normally Zayn sees Louis shy away from people who come on to him too strong, but it only seems to draw Louis more towards Harry.

Chemistry.

And Zayn doesn't blame him.  Harry's an attractive lad. 

They've had attractive interns before.  And Zayn will be the first to admit, Harry is stunning to both the eyes and soul with his invigorating and curious personality that only adds to the overall attraction of him.  If he didn't see the chemistry between Louis and Harry, he would definitely see about starting something with Harry.  He's obviously an open-minded lad. 

But as always, if Louis has an opportunity to be happy, Zayn will sacrifice anything to let him have that.  So it's not a problem at all for Zayn to just focus on Brooke.

Brooke is obviously gorgeous to the naked eye.  Maybe Zayn preemptively jumped on it too quickly; but what was he supposed to say after Brooke told him how attractive he was?  The natural thing is to only compliment back, which of course led to, well...

Zayn will just have to explain the situation to Conner before he finds out through Louis or Brooke.

"Good work you two!  Make sure to take a shirt in your size home.  You may get it fitted if you like.  Leave your phone numbers on the whiteboard, and we'll see you both at 8am tomorrow!"  Zayn announces.

Harry and Brooke both nod.  They're both sweating and have a considerable amount of unidentifiable grime covering their clothes and hands.  A true mark of the start to a good season.

Harry and Brooke leave their numbers on the whiteboard, Brooke putting a cute little heart next to hers, and punch out on their time cards.  Louis and Zayn are left alone.

Louis grabs Zayn's jacket and sits on his brown lawn chair.  Zayn follows him and plops down on his tan one.

"Shit, I forget how tired I get when I don't get in my afternoon nap."  Louis yawns.

"I forget how long a good snogging session can take."  Zayn sits next to him and breaks open a cigar, making sure to not drop any tobacco onto the ground.

Louis passes him the baggie and a lighter.  Zayn seals the blunt and lights the tip.  He takes a long drag then gives it to Louis who takes a couple hits.

Jerry climbs into Louis' lap and Louis scratches his tummy.  He uses his overly-affectionate voice that Zayn has only heard used on himself and the platypodes.  "What does Jerry think of the new interns?"

Zayn takes the blunt back and watches Louis.  "I think Jerry's got his work cut out for him.  He's gotta start fighting for your attention."  He's curious to see if Louis has any interest in acknowledging his and Harry's chemistry.

Louis snuggles Jerry in closer to him.  Zayn is still amazed that he hasn't been spurred more than once with how fresh he gets with Jerry.  "Jerry knows he's my only baby.  He's not even worried."

Zayn exhales smoke and gives the rest of the stub to Louis.  "You're not even going to try?"  Not that Zayn would expect it, since it  _is_  Louis after all, but Zayn figures if he doesn't encourage Louis to try, then no one will.

"I'm not you mate.  And he's ten years younger."  Louis reasons.

"So were your parents."  Zayn says.

Silence.

Louis takes an extended drag.  "So they were."

~~~

A/N: From now on all updates will be Friday's at noon, so mark it in your phones :)

Thank you so much for 1K followers and for all the love and support from everyone! You guys are so incredible <3 I hope I can live up to your expectations as an author <3

Twitter: @ LemonSuccubus  
Xoxo

 


	4. Chapter 3

~~~

L

Three cigarettes, an album of music, and many online chess games later, Louis is sitting on the porch sofa next to Zayn. He's been thinking about Harry since he left work.

He needs to make sure Harry has his number. In case Harry needs to call in sick... or something.

**Is this the one and only Harry Styles?**

"I texted Harry." Louis says.

"Finally. I've been texting Brooke since she left." Zayn says.

Louis ignores Zayn's dismissal and his phone vibrates.

**Is this the one and only Platypus Master?**

Louis chuckles and responds.

**Cheeky.**

Louis wonders if Harry will text back and decides to probe into Zayn's most recent relationship development. "So you think you and Brooke will become a thing?"

"I dunno. She's a bit high maintenance, but down to earth at the same time. Like, really forward and comes off a bit strong, but she's nice." Zayn says. "Harry say anything interesting?"

"Not yet." Louis kicks his legs up across Zayn's lap. Zayn idly runs his fingers up and down his legs.

Louis' phone vibrates again.

**Don't want to keep you from Mary :P. Hope you have a good night.**

Louis laughs and taps his fingers on the side of his phone. This is the perfect segway for Louis to ask what he's suspected all afternoon, but also make a joke out of it at the same time.

**You think Mary's a person? Lol are you actually homeschooled?**

"Did Brooke pick up on the fact that we smoke?" Louis asks.

"She already tasted it on me before lunch." Zayn says.

Louis' screen lights up and he reads Harry's response.

**How did you know? :(**

"Ha! Zayn, he was homeschooled. I knew it." Louis says. Before he can type a reply, his phone vibrates with another text from Harry.

**So you were talking about drugs then?**

"Figures. So did Harry just figure it out or what?" Zayn asks.

Louis ignores him and texts Harry back.

**Yes.. You've never smoked then?**

The bubbles say that Harry is typing a reply. The message pops up moments later.

**No :P. I didn't realize I was so easy to read...**

Louis taps his fingers against the sides of his phone before typing out his reply.

**I've just worked around lots of people. ASIS once tried to recruit me for my people profiling skills :)**

Also.. friendly suggestion: don't call weed 'drugs'. It's a pretty dead giveaway that it's unfamiliar territory ;)

Too forward? Too friendly? Harry doesn't seem like the type to be uncomfortable with forwardness. Louis feels like their conversations thus far have flowed openly and easily with one another. Why should texting change that?

Harry's incoming text lights up Louis' phone again.

**May I ask you a question?**

"He's so formal." Louis smiles.

Zayn looks up from his phone. "What?"

Louis shakes his head. "Nothing." He types a reply.

**You didn't give me much of a choice there, did you?**

He wonders how Harry would have reacted had he been present. Maybe similar to when they first met and Louis called him out on his argument for knowing how old Louis was. Louis was certainly just teasing him because he loved the way Harry's porcelain cheeks became flushed and how he seemed at a loss for what to say.

Cute. It was very cute. Harry and his cheeks are very cute.

It was also another indicator to Louis that Harry is perceptive enough to dig a little deeper in interviews and commit information to memory once he learns it- even when it may not apply directly to him. Most people are concerned with information that is relevant solely to themselves, but Harry obviously cared about all the surrounding facts too; similar to one of the interns the year before last.

Harry responds.

**:P I'm going to take that as a yes... Anyway... Are you a chain smoker?**

"Zayn, what's the technical definition of a chain smoker?" Louis asks.

"Both of us." Zayn replies.

Louis huffs, dejected that there is not a more eloquent answer that may paint him in a better light. Oh well, Louis thinks. Not like there are many great things about him in the first place to offer to people. Harry's only here for six months after all. Who cares if he thinks less of Louis for being a chain smoker?

**Yes. Do you always try so hard to fit in?**

It's a fair trade. Semi-personal question for a semi-personal question. His phone buzzes.

 **Yes**.

Just a yes. Nothing more. Not another question.

Louis lights another cigarette.

~~~

The following day, Louis arrives to work feeling like he is wearing a brand new outfit. The mirror on the wall reflects that he is wearing the same outfit he's worn to work every day for the last two years. There's a mystery stain on the bottom right of his shirt that is somewhat of a brown color that blends in with his outfit once his shirt is tucked in; and one from the time Dez bit him and he accidentally wiped it on his sleeve. It's probably time for a new uniform.

He punches his time card that reads 7:58 am, an hour before the zoo opens, and shoots a text to Conner asking him to order a new shirt for him.

Zayn drags himself through the door similar to a slug with arthritis and a face that is the antithesis of vigor.

"Morning darling!" Louis exclaims.

Zayn groans. "No."

"Music?" Louis offers.

"Something mellow." Zayn reaches for the coffee machine like an oxygen mask on a spiraling plane.

Louis sticks the auxiliary cord into his phone. "Didn't have time for your first coffee this morning?"

Zayn just grunts.

Louis shuffles through his music. "Not  _too_  mellow, or you'll be falling asleep! We need to give you some energy while you wait for your brew!"

Another grunt.

Sometimes Louis thinks they've been around platypodes too long.

Louis presses play and [Fat Bottomed Girls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEbEMjKitA4) blasts through the speakers.

"Louis." Zayn deadpans.

"Just returning the favor babe! You started it yesterday when you woke me up from my afternoon nap." Louis pops a strip of gum into his mouth since he can't smoke at work anymore and dances in place to the beat while he preps the food.

Zayn is huddled around the coffee maker like a campfire in Siberia. He shoots a half-assed glare at Louis while he waits for his lifeblood.

Then there's a loud baritone voice booming into the prep room, harmonizing to the motif of the song.

Louis and Zayn both look to the doorway where Harry has dramatically entered, holding his drink like a microphone and cutely swings his hips from side-to-side.   


Louis thinks he may spontaneously combust with adoration. Also, Harry has a fantastic voice.  


"Jesus fucking help me. They're both morning people." Zayn drops his face onto the stainless steel prep table and dry sobs.

"You certainly know how to make an entrance." Louis says to Harry, unable to wipe the grin from his face.

Harry shrugs. "I was expecting you guys to join in."

The song fades out and Louis picks up his phone and pauses it before it can play another Queen song. "Any requests?"

Zayn whines from the spot where his face is molded onto the silver surface.

"How about Death Cab?" Harry suggests.

"You are my kind of man Harry Styles. Couldn't have chosen better myself." Louis does in fact, love Death Cab for Cutie. He has a compiled playlist of all his favorite songs already on his phone and puts it on shuffle.

Harry blushes at Louis comment and hides his lips behind the Starbucks cup to take a sip of his hot beverage.

Zayn shakes the coffee machine and pleads for it to work faster. Louis laughs and Harry sets his cup down next to Zayn's face.

"Do you want some of my tea while you wait? It's caffeinated." Harry slides it closer to Zayn's face.

"Only if you don't talk to me again until I've had two cups of coffee." Zayn negotiates.

Harry nods, then looks to Louis quizzically. Zayn snatches the tea and drinks the rest of it in one go.

"I'm saving Harry from your morning wrath and replacing his tea that you stole. We'll be back." Louis motions for Harry to follow him.

Zayn mumbles something about how he didn't steal anything and Harry scurries to follow behind Louis. Louis sees Brooke in the distance running from the front gates. Even if she weren't intern, Louis wouldn't mind that she was late by a couple minutes.

"It's fine. I don't need more tea." Harry says once they exit the Platitat.

"Well maybe I need more coffee." Louis says.

Harry looks at him in confusion. "But Zayn-"

Louis holds a hand up to stop Harry. "Not Zayn's coffee. It's full of negativity and too much hairspray at this hour in the morning."

Harry chuckles. "So he's always like this then?"

"Every morning for the last 14 years." Louis says, and it's true. He's been there every morning to witness it. "Don't take it personal."

"You've lived together for 14 years?" Harry asks like he's just learned Snape is the Half-Blood Prince.

"That's what I said." Louis smiles and nudges Harry's shoulder.

"That reminds me... You never told me how old you are..." Harry tries and Louis can't tell if he's got a twitch in his eye, or if Harry's fluttering his eyelashes at him.

"How old do you think I am?" Louis holds the door of The Beastro open for Harry to enter first.

Harry pauses and looks at the ground. "Umm... 23?"

"You think I'm four years older than you?" Louis cracks a smile, his thick facial hair tickling his nose as he does so.

Harry's eyes flick up to meet Louis' and he steps through the door. "25?"

"Stop flattering me." Louis smirks.

Harry bites the bottom of his lip and follows Louis to the coffee bar. Louis shoves an empty cup into Harry's hand, not giving him the option to refuse.

Harry accepts it with a sigh and makes his tea. "So you're not even going to get a drink?"

Louis shakes his head.

"Well that's unfair of my boss to put me in a compromising position by forcing me into unnecessary beverage purchases." Harry jokes.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm paying." Louis ushers Harry to the register and gives his credit card to Emily behind the register.

"Louis, me offering Zayn my drink is my problem. Not yours. Seriously." Harry turns to Emily. "Please don't let him pay." He digs into his pocket for his wallet.

Emily smiles and hands Louis' card back to him. "Too late! Don't try and fight him on paying for things. You'll never win."

Harry feigns frustration by pursing out his pink lips. "I've noticed."

Louis tears his eyes away from Harry. "I have a lot of pay-it-forwards to make up for."

"Well thank you then." Harry says gratefully.

"Mmhmm." Louis hums. "Let's go see if Zayn's quiff has cheered up some."

~~~

Louis is standing in the platypus pond with rain boots on. The rain boots turn out to be pointless because Louis is in above his knees and the water has taken full advantage of its capillary action and soaked all the way up Louis' shorts and to the bottom of his shirt.

Harry looks like a wet puppy as he stands next to Louis. "So, why are we doing this again?"

"Only to torture you young Harold." Louis takes the pliers from Harry's hand. He reaches an arm down into the water, completely drenching the side of his shirt and sleeve. He cranes his neck to keep his face above water as he probes around with the tool. "Every now and again, our dear platypodes will clog up the underwater drains with their rocks and grime, or they will simply turn the facet..."

"They can turn the facet?" Harry flicks water off his hands before scratching his face. "Why are there drains anyway?"

"We have to drain the pond once a month and refill it. It's an absolute bitch, but we do it so that they can have fresh yabbies crawl around the bottom of the pond for a week." Louis fumbles around underwater, feeling that he had unclogged the drain. "And yes, they can turn it. They are rather skillful with those bills of theirs. Quite the engineers really. When the drains get clogged or tightened, we have to fix the problem."

"Why don't we call and have maintenance do it?" Harry asks like maintenance actually does their job.

"Because by the time maintenance would get to it, the pond would be filled with a plethora of noxious microorganisms and kill our beloved monotremes." Louis wades towards the next sprinkler head and Harry follows behind.

"Monotremes?" Harry questions.

Louis smiles and turns his head to look at Harry while he bends down into the water again. "I thought you were homeschooled?"

Agitation immediately crosses Harry's face. "That doesn't mean I know everything; and I'm in uni now... Studying marine life. Not marsupials."

Louis stands up and flicks water off of his hands. "Sensitive topic then?"

Harry doesn't say anything.

Louis motions for Harry to follow him back to the bank where they sit with their feet still in the water. Louis pulls out a shrimp snack from his shirt pocket to call Jerry over to him.

Jerry waddles over and nips the shrimp from Louis fingers, then climbs into Louis' lap.

Louis pets him. "See how most of his body is covered in fur, but there isn't a pouch?"

Harry nods.

"So that's how you know it's a mammal and not a marsupial." Louis explains. "They're also pretty good with temperature control, which makes them warm blooded. Also a mammalian trait."

"How do they feed their offspring then? Mammals traditionally have, er-" Harry stutters.

"Tits?" Louis laughs.

Harry looks at his hands and scratches his nose.

Louis flips Jerry so that he's lying belly-up. "So, they don't have teats. Instead, the milk is released through the pores on their skin and just kind of pools around the abdomen. Then the offspring lap it up that way." He trails his fingers around Jerry's soft tummy.

Harry smiles. "That's amazing." He reaches a cautious hand to touch Jerry's belly. "Don't they lay eggs though?"

Louis looks down at Jerry's stomach, where his and Harry's hands are almost touching. Harry's hands are so big in comparison to his own. "Yes, that's why they're called monotremes. They're a specialty mammal. Platypodes and echidnas are the only monotremes left in existence."

"Wow. I didn't realize they were so rare." Harry's fingers continue to dance dangerously close to Louis'. "Is that why you started interning here at 14? Because you loved platypai and knew so much about them?"

Normally, Louis would say yes. It's the easiest answer, but not the truthful one. Maybe it's because Harry has a really warm personality, but Louis is drawn towards Harry and there's something that swells within him when Harry is near. It just seems like it would be a waste for someone to stay in shallow territory when they have an opportunity to delve deeper.

"Zayn has been my best mate since secondary school. I had already turned 14 and Zayn a day away from 14." Louis bites his lip. "That summer, we lit a nature preserve on fire. It was either a juvenile detention center and criminal record, or volunteer serves at the zoo every day until we turned 18."

Louis blinks and realizes Harry's fingers are ghosting over his own. Harry speaks softly. "So then they offered for you to become employed once you turned 18?"

Louis bites the inside of his cheek. "It's a long story."

Harry's fingers barely graze Louis' before he retracts them back into his lap. "Well I'm glad you're here now. You're such a good teacher and the platypai couldn't have a better caretaker. It's obvious how much they love you."

Louis smiles to himself. He's glad he was honest with Harry, but definitely isn't ready to let him know his life story. Louis has only known the lad for a couple days and doesn't know how judgmental he may be on the inside. Maybe his mom instilled really high moral standards into him. Which-

Harry's mom. Shit.

"Um, Harry? Can I ask you a question?" Louis turns to face Harry.

Harry's face lights up like a firework display. "Didn't give me much of a choice there, did you?" He imitates in Louis' voice.

Louis cracks a smile and can't help but let out a laugh. "You're a quick learner Harry Styles."

Harry shrugs. "I have to be if I want any chance of fitting in with normal society." He makes a face. "Anyway, what's your question?"

"The smoking thing... Does it bother you?" Louis treads lightly.

Harry furrows his eyebrows. "I mean, I don't smoke; but I don't have a problem that you do. To each their own."

Louis shifts his legs and Jerry dives back into the pond. "Like, about the weed. Did you happen to like, mention anything to your mom or something?" Harry looks dumbfounded. Louis scratches his head. "I just really like my job."

Harry blinks a couple times, and then the look of agitation returns to his face. "You think I told my mom that my boss does drugs- er, weed- and that she'll turn you in because she's overprotective and I'm sheltered and then you'll lose your job and I'll have to intern elsewhere?"

Harry is not taking this well.

"Um-" Louis isn't sure how to most effectively diffuse this conversation, because yes, that is exactly what Louis thinks.

"I'm 19." Harry states.

Louis nods. "Yes. But you still live with your mom- which is totally fine- I just don't know how much say she still has in your life. I assume you guys are probably close and that you would tell her things..."

Harry shifts to stand up. Louis quickly stands before Harry can leave, water sloshing over the brim of their boots.

Louis keeps his voice as calm as possible. "Hey, I didn't mean to offend you. I don't really know what I said, but I'm sorry. If you'll be patient with me and explain a bit, I'd be happy to hear you out so that we can respect other's boundaries better. I'm sorry."

Harry fidgets with his wet shorts. "Sorry. I know you weren't trying to degrade me. It's just-" he rolls his eyes, "I get so much shit from so many ignorant bastards who think I don't know when they're making fun of me. I've just kind of become a bit oversensitive about it."

"So you're not a pushover." It was originally a question meant to stay in Louis' mind, but it comes out of his mouth in the form of a statement and he wishes he could take it back because it was definitely not the right thing to say.

Harry looks like he's trying to hold off the agitated face again. "No offense, but that's exactly what I'm talking about. Like, the second I admit that I used to be homeschooled everyone treats me differently.  Girls think I'm a nerd, guys think I'm uncool. My peers think I'm socially awkward and have Savant's Syndrome, and adults talk to me like I'm running for parliament."

Louis wants to lighten the mood and hopes Harry will take well to it.

He shrugs his shoulders with a blithe face and counts on his fingers. "So, you're telling me... One: you're not a nerd. Two: you're cool. Three: you fit in with everyone else. Four: you're average. And five: you're not running for parliament?" Louis feigns disappointment. "All of my stereotypes for homeschooled youths have been utterly crushed!"

Harry purses his lips to keep from smiling which makes Louis happy. "Good. Any other atrocious stereotypes you'd like me to crush for you?"

Louis opens his mouth to joke about all homeschool boys hiding in their dark basements playing Magic The Gathering and watching anime, then thinks better of it because that may be pushing it too far. What if Harry does play Magic? Louis mentally notes to ask Harry at a different time.

"No. No more stereotypes." Louis answers. "I just don't think you should try so hard to fit in. It sounds dreadfully average to me, and from what I know about you, you're already so much better than that."

Harry looks unnerved but not uncomfortable. "Do you have any spare shorts to change into?"

Louis quirks a smile. "Yeah. Follow me."

~~~

 **A/N:**  What do you guys think of Made in the A.M.?  What are your favorite songs?  Mine are Long Way Down, Love You Goodbye, and Hey Angel (in that order) :D

How are you liking the weekly updates so far?  Would you prefer bi-weekly updates?  Two on the weekends?  

Let me know!  And thank you so much for reading!  You guys are so amazing!!  I love you all xx 

Twitter: [@LemonSuccubus](http://www.twitter.com/lemonsuccubus)

Youtube:[ Dannie Ybarra](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkIrAVgIXmwMVqNbrm8RTXrUL9CVpH__L)

-Dannie Ybarra

 


	5. Chapter 4

 

A/N: Dedicated to [LowQualityLarry](https://www.wattpad.com/user/LowQualityLarry)  for her undying love, support, help, and inspiration for this chapter specifically as well as many of my other books. Drop by her profile and check out her story :)

Happy early Thanksgiving America! Next update will be Black Friday at noon (Arizona time).

Talk to me here or on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/LemonSuccubus), leave a comment and kudos, pet a puppy, love yourself :) Thank you so much for reading. You lot are so special to me and I can't tell you how much I appreciate the support <3

xoxo -LemonSuccubus (Dannie Ybarra) 

 

~~~

Harry gets changed into one of the many spare sets of shorts they have on hand at all times since the incident long ago of Zayn being pushed into the pond by Louis when they were both 16.

It was just Louis and Zayn rough housing out a bit of angst they had had that day. Conner wasn't too thrilled since it was immediately before a presentation, but Louis said it was good because it encouraged emergency preparedness. It's the same reason Zayn keeps a vial of Lidocaine in the fridge at all times... Emergency preparedness.

Luckily the shorts fit Harry's short and thinner frame well. After that, Louis shows him how to set up for the presentations.

Louis shadows Harry and Brooke while Zayn presents to the crowd. They both are naturals with the audience members and kids.

After the presentation is over, Louis helps them clean up and it's nearing towards the end of the day. Louis is in dire need of a blunt, nap, and coffee, in that order. He kind of wants to rip Zayn's head off when Zayn makes fun of his height for the billionth time when he can't reach the top shelf to put away the presentation props, and then starts singing The Dead Kennedys songs with Brooke at the top of his lungs.

But Harry keeps smiling at him, and he can't really help but smile back and feel like it's not that big of a deal.

After the exhibit has been cleaned, burrows filled, and all the food prepped, Zayn excuses Harry and Brooke to leave.

Brooke has already punched out her time card, but Harry is standing there pigeon-toed, and picking at the hem of his pockets. "Actually, do you guys mind if I stay back for a bit? I won't get in your way, I just want to get to know the platypai a bit better."

Louis sighs a bit internally only because that means his blunt with Zayn will be delayed, but he feels like he'll be okay without it for a little extra longer. Brooke leaves with a wave.

"Yeah, we're still going to be here for an hour until it's time to feed them dinner since it's a double feed day, so you can just watch till then. No touching unless Louis or I are with you. You're still new, and they can be a bit wary of strangers." Zayn pulls out his earphones and sits on his tan lawn chair.

Louis blankly stares at Zayn who has checked out from life, then turns to Harry. "Well Zayn seems to be of no use. Grab the shrimp treats and come on."

Harry grabs the bag of treats and Louis grabs two towels. Louis leads them to the bank of the large pond and sets down the towels next to each other. Louis takes a breath, deciding to make this a positive experience for Harry. Just because Louis can't always keep up with the youths of Australia, doesn't mean he should be the one to bring their optimistic attitudes down- especially Harry's.

Harry takes a seat and crosses his legs.

"You don't want to dip your feet in the pond?" Louis pulls off his shoes and socks, then sits on his towel.

"Can we do that? Won't the platypai bite our toes or something?" Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"Depends on if they're feeling feisty or not." Louis wiggles his eyebrows and dips his feet into the water. Harry looks unsure.

Louis sighs and smiles. "They won't get your toes, as appetizing as they may be. They use electroreception to hunt. They can sense electric pulses from everything in the water and know the difference between us and worms."

Harry takes off his socks and shoes and dips his feet into the water next to Louis'.

Louis points to Winston in the water. "See Winston? What he's doing with his head?"

Harry nods.

"So, his eyes and ears are closed. The side-to-side movements of the head is like the trademark of the platypus. They move them back and forth in the water like that to emit pulses and that gives them their sense of distance." Louis opens and closes his hand to demonstrate. "Doing that also tells Winston what pulses are coming from where; and he definitely knows that our toes don't emit the same signals as the food he's looking for."

Harry swirls his feet in the water. "You know, I really should have done more research on platypai before starting here, but I didn't have time because I only found out I'd be starting a day before I did... I thought it would be really stressful not being prepared and trying to learn everything all at once."

"Are you stressed?" Louis watches the ripples that Harry's feet are making.

"No. The opposite actually. You're a really good teacher and you make things much easier to understand than an encyclopedia." Harry smiles up at Louis.

"You mean Wikipedia?" Louis raises an eyebrow.

"No." Harry shakes his head. "Wikipedia isn't a reliable source of information unless you're okay with having partial and opinionated information."

Louis smiles. "Alright then. Straight to the source it is. Do you have an encyclopedia on hand that you reference when learning new things?" Louis is mostly joking, but then is shut up by Harry sitting up straighter.

"Yes." Harry's eyes brighten. "I got a gold set for my birthday."

"For your birthday." Louis repeats.

Harry nods furiously.

"Gold. Like, golden book covers?" Louis asks.

Harry smiles like Louis is about to offer him a rainbow set next.

The humor of the situation is pulled out of Louis' throat and, endearment, he believes, would be the proper term for what he's feeling now. "That's incredibly unique actually."

"I know it's a bit odd, but I really love books. I love learning things." Harry leans back on his hands.

"I don't think it's odd at all. I like to learn things too." Louis copies Harry and leans back on his hands as well.

"Like what?" Harry looks over at Louis, with a face that anticipates the mathematic formula for a black hole.

Louis suppresses a smile. "Well, I taught myself Italian and I'm currently learning German so I can study Freud. I love literature and have read every classic book out there; and I've learned the capital of every country in the world to keep my brain on its toes."

Harry looks at Louis skeptically. "Micronesia?"

Louis smiles. "Palikir."

"Somalia?" Harry's eyebrows raise.

"Mogadishu." Louis says.

"Belize?" Harry leans forward.

"Belmopan." Louis purses his lips.

"Damn." Harry sits back again. "Those are the most obscure countries I can think of off the top of my head. I will find one that you don't know."

"And how will you know I'm not lying?" Louis challenges.

"Well..." Harry brushes imaginary dirt off of his shoulders. "Let's just say you're not the only one familiar with countries and their capitals."

Louis laughs out loud at that.

"I love literature too, but I prefer mythology." Harry points to the water again. "Okay, so I know their names, but I'm still not sure which one is which. So there's Jerry- your favorite- Winston, Rico, Dez, and Tom? They're all males?"

Louis shakes his head. "Tom and Dez are actually girls. But Dez was already named when we got her. Sometimes we'll call her Desiree when she's acting like a priss. Then we liked the name Tom because it fit with Jerry."

"So that one is Winston?" Harry points to the water where one of the platypodes is bobbing its head from side to side.

"Yes. Winston loves to muck about and hunt all day. Very hot and cold towards me." Louis waves his hands dismissively. "He prefers Zayn. We think it has to do with the last handler he had at another zoo. We looked him up on Facebook once, and he actually looks quite similar to Zayn."

"Interesting. So, the one that's sleeping on the bank...?" Harry points to the other side of the bank.

"Dez. When she's not sleeping, she's the one burrowing all these damn holes that we have to fill every day. One of our previous interns, Adam, used to trip on them all the time. Conner was always worried about a lawsuit." Louis pats the ground where a filled hole is. "She has an odd aversion towards the water, which is obviously completely abnormal for platypodes."

"What about the one nudging the glass?" Harry nods in front of Louis and himself where the giant glass barrier separates the pond from the public.

"Rico loves attention. He's always underwater, swimming around the glass barrier. The kids love him." Louis chuckles. "He'll surface sometimes and growl at the kids to get them riled up."

"Growl? I haven't heard them do that yet. Can you give me a demonstration?" Harry looks way too hopeful for his own good.

"No I will not growl for you. Not today at least." Louis smiles to himself and looks back at the platypodes.

"So then what are Tom and Jerry doing?" Harry gestures towards Tom and Jerry chasing each other around the pond.

"Well. It's a bit of a story actually." Louis leans forward to rest his chin on his hands.

"Okay?" Harry copies Louis.

"So Jerry is our oldest platypus, right?" Louis looks at Harry. "He's been here since Zayn and I first started. Jerry and I eventually got to know each other really well after a rocky beginning. A few years later and we get Rico, and I swear to you he was in love with the platypus. They were best friends."

Harry nods.

"But then we get Tom some years later and Jerry ditches Rico. He's now more interested in chasing after Tom, but as soon as Tom chases back, Jerry ignores her. Jerry started losing weight ever since we got Tom, and we're pretty sure they're in a dysfunctional relationship- always playing cat and mouse with each other. Neither of them is happy with each other, but they're not happy without the security of one another either."

Harry watches as Tom starts chasing Jerry, and Jerry swims up to Louis. "Sounds like one to me. Makes sense then why Tom is appropriately named Tom."

"Yeah; and Jerry's always been my buddy. No matter what. I guess I'm like the stable parent figure in his life." Louis stretches his legs out and Jerry swims over and crawls up his shins and onto his lap.

Harry smiles fondly. "I hope one day the platypai love me as much as they love you."

Louis strokes Jerry's head. "They will. Just give it time."

~~~

Harry and Brooke have Wednesday and Thursday off, and Louis might be a little more excited than he should be when Friday morning comes, mainly because he has some  _fantastic_  news that he wants to share with Harry.

Louis hasn't texted the last two days because Harry hasn't texted him. Louis isn't one to play hard to get by any means, but he simply doesn't want to intrude in on Harry's life.

So after Louis has finished his second cup of coffee and is rummaging through the paperwork, Harry walks through the door and Louis points to him. "Harry!"

Harry freezes in place and the door shuts behind him. He looks around to see if he was about to step into a pit of poisonous snakes and his face morphs to relief when he realizes he isn't in imminent danger. "Yeah?"

Louis beckons Harry closer and lowers his voice. "Guess what."

Harry takes a few steps towards Louis. "What?"

"We're getting a new platypus!" Louis opens his arms and does jazz hands.

Harry's face looks like 'Celebrate Harry Styles Day' has just become a new national holiday and his voice raises an octave. "What?! Really?  _When_?"

"Next week!" Louis claps his hands together and grins from ear to ear.

"That's so great! I'm so excited!" Harry bounces up and down on his feet, tea spilling over the brim of his drink.

"For the love, please tone it down." Zayn sulks into the prep area nursing his cup of coffee.

"Don't even act like you're not just as excited you sauerkraut." Louis pokes Zayn and Harry laughs.

Zayn tosses his empty cup into the trash. "Since when did calling someone a pickled cabbage become an insult?"

"It's not just an insult- it's also a pun, so it's doubly clever!" Harry high fives Louis.

"See? Harry appreciates my genius. I say we petition in for him to get a raise." Louis says.

"That would require Harry to actually work here." Zayn opens up the fridge to start weighing out breakfasts.

"He does work here. He is not, however, a technical employee." Louis raises his eyebrows.

"Semantics." Zayn drops the shrimp onto the table with a loud 'thud' and some shrimp juices ooze out the sides of the bag.

Harry pulls a face that mocks Zayn's sour mood and Louis chuckles.

~~~

Louis knows it's going to be a difficult afternoon by the crowd in the Beastro.

After a brief discussion with Sabrina as to why the building is overflowing with people, he learns that two different elementary schools scheduled a field trip for today, thus overrunning their normally quiet lunch time.

"Sorry, the wait for your food is going to be longer than normal today. Go ahead and have a seat and we'll get it out to you as soon as we can." Sabrina wipes a stray sweaty strand of hair from her forehead as a child runs and screams behind her.

"No worries. Take your time. We don't have to set up for our next show until 2:30." Louis hands her his card and she swipes it. There's a parent running after the screaming child.

Harry speaks up behind him. "You're not worried we'll be too long? We still have to fill the holes and unclog the sprinklers because we release the yabbies today. We should be starting to set up for the setting up at 2 right?"

"It's fine Harry. It's only 12:30. We're not in a rush and Zayn and I can always finish those things after you two leave for the afternoon." Louis steps to the side so Harry can order.

"I'll just have the house salad." Harry opens his wallet and Louis notices it overflowing with a plethora of credit cards. Harry picks one out and hands it to Sabrina then turns to Louis again. "But then the Platitat will look subpar. I can just bring my food down and eat between working."

Louis sets a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry, chill. We're going to sit down and enjoy our lunch and take as long as we like to eat. Okay?"

Harry's shoulders relax and he nods. Sabrina hands the card back to Harry.

"Let's go get drinks, yes?" Louis pulls his hand from Harry's shoulder, wishing that he had a reason to keep it there. Harry watches Louis' hand fall and looks back at him with guarded eyes.

The running and screaming child mysteriously multiplies into five running and screaming children, and Louis sees the tragedy approach a second before it happens and lunges towards the group of kids. He's too late, as the first kid slips next to the 'Slippery When Wet' sign, tripping the other four kids in succession.

Louis is at their sides as the lunch room erupts with screams from the children. He helps the one on top of the pile up and helps the others stand up. A few more adults crowd around cooing at the kids. Louis kneels down next to one of the girls still crying on the ground.

"Hey love, are you okay?" Louis helps her up. If there's one thing Louis hates, it's a screaming child that could be helped and silenced with a few words of comfort.

The girl cries and shakes her head.

"How about a hug and a cookie, and then do you think you'd feel better?" Louis asks.

The kid wipes her nose and nods her head slowly. Louis opens his arms and the girl leans her little body against Louis' torso and sniffles.

"Alright, now do you want chocolate chip, or snickerdoodle?" Louis places his hands on both of the kid's shoulders and gives her a big smile.

"'Nickerdoodle." The girl mumbles.

Louis takes the girl's hand and walks her over to the register. He grabs one of the cookies – conveniently placed to tempt consumers into the last minute dessert purchase – and crouches down face-to-face with the girl again.

Louis holds the cookie by his face. "Now I'll only give this to you if you can promise me that you won't eat it until mummy or daddy says so, okay? And make sure to smile."

The girl smiles brightly. "Okay I promise."

"Very good. Now be careful when you're running indoors and have fun the rest of your day, okay?" Louis hands the cookie to her.

She takes it gratefully and nods. "I'll be careful."

A woman comes bursting out of the women's bathroom and darts over to Louis. "Paige! Are you okay?  I'm so sorry mummy had to leave you. I heard you scream- did my baby get hurt?" She looks frantically up and down Paige and looks over to Louis in confusion.

Paige nods and holds the cookie out. "I'm okay now. I'll be more careful. The man said I can eat the cookie when you say so."

The woman looks over to Louis. "Thank you so much. I can pay for this–­­"

Louis holds up his hands. "No, no. Thank you though. I get a discount anyway." He flashes a warm smile at her.

"Well bless you. Thank you again." The woman nods at Louis then turns to Paige. "Let's go sit down and finish lunch, okay pumpkin?"

Louis smiles and pays Sabrina for the snickerdoodle he just hijacked, then walks over to the coffee bar where Harry has two cups in his hand. "Is the food ready yet?"

Harry shakes his head. "They said it would be like 10 more minutes." Harry looks to the ground like he's marinating over something. "You're really good with kids."

Louis shrugs. He just doesn't like when they scream. Assuming he ever gets around to having kids of his own, he's sure 50 percent of their diet will involve cookies to divert them from screaming.

Harry holds out one of the cups. "Here's your coffee."

"Thanks." Louis thinks receiving a self-paid cup of coffee should not feel as affectionate as it does right now. "Well it looks like we've been kicked from our normal table today. Shall we look for places outside?"

"What about Brooke and Zayn?" Harry asks.

Louis motions for Harry to walk and talk. "They'll catch up. Or not. He was uh, busy... showing her things." Louis thinks it's not technically lying. Zayn could very well be showing her a surfeit of things that Louis doesn't even want to think about.

"They're dating, aren't they?" Harry asks, following in step with Louis.

"No. Not that I know of anyway. It takes a pretty put together person for Zayn to consider settling down with them." Louis holds the door open for Harry. "Actually his last serious relationship was like, years ago. Before you hit puberty probably."

Harry gives him a small eye roll. "So, he's like... bisexual?" He asks once they're outside and around less families.

As much as Louis wants to turn this into a conversation about Harry's sexuality, he respects Zayn's privacy more than that. Not that he's particularly secretive about it, but Louis would appreciate Zayn doing the same for him in such a situation. "That's Zayn's business."

"Oh." Harry sounds... disappointed?

Harry's tone makes it too hard for Louis to leave it be, and quite frankly, no one said anything about hypothetical questions. "Would it make it an uncomfortable work environment if he were?"

Harry's eyes widen as he looks at Louis. "No. Not at all." Harry sits at a vacant table that Louis motions towards. "Would it, er, make you uncomfortable?"

Louis can't help from smiling. "Well either way I've lived with him for 15 years, sooo..."

A smile grows on Harry's face, his pink lips contrasting sharply against his teeth. "Um, if you don't mind me asking..." Harry leans in a little closer and Louis feels his heartrate increase ever so slightly. "Are you-?"

"Oh look! It's the snobby Styles kid!" An Eco Explorer, Vanessa strides up to their table.

Louis doesn't often feel vitriol towards other people, but right now he wouldn't mind if Vanessa tripped and fell on her face into a pit of rabid Great Whites. Nobody should address another person like that- especially Harry.

She places her hands on the grated table and leans in towards Louis. "So tell me, is he as loaded as his dad? I met him on his way out of the office. I'll have you know I was next in line for that position, but apparently Daddy Styles convinced the board of directors the day before starting that Harry here would be a better fit than me."

"Sorry?" Louis averts his eyes from the cleavage she is flaunting him. Harry looks petrified.

Vanessa sits in an empty chair next to Louis and throws an arm around his shoulders. "I just want to know if Harry is all money and no work ethic. You should know, I would work harder. I'm not scared to get..." she leans in and lowers her voice in Louis' ear, "...dirty."

"Harry has filled the position quite fine, thank you for inquiring. Any other concerns should be left in the suggestion box in the admissions office. The one across the park from here." Louis gives her a tight smile. "Now if you don't mind, we are discussing private matters."

She scoots the chair back and flips her hair over her shoulder. "Louis, you'll regret not having me. I'll wait for you though. I've waited three years and I can wait one more."

Vanessa struts off.

God, for being the same age as Harry, Vanessa certainly doesn't act it. Well, Louis thinks it's probably Harry who acts older than his age, and Vanessa a bit younger than her age.

Louis blinks off the encounter and looks to Harry who looks like he has just been pantsed in front of the whole zoo.

"You okay?" Louis doesn't like distressed-looking Harry.

Harry shakes his head.

"No need to get upset. Vanessa is a bit crazy in the head- and Eco Explorer ya know? Trust me, you did us all a favor by taking her place." Louis tries to comfort him.

"I thought- I..." Harry buries his head in his hands.

Well fuck. Louis was not anticipating this. Should he keep consoling? He'll keep consoling. "Seriously, I mean she lives off in her own world and nobody really likes her to be honest. She's always sexually harassing the guys, well, more specifically me, which I really don't get because I'm obviously-"

"I didn't know my dad came here. He told me I got the position the day before I started. He said the director had called him specifically because he was listed on my references and, and-" Harry threads his fingers through his hair and pulls at the roots.

"Hey, it's okay. Take a deep breath." Louis reaches out to touch his arm.

Harry lets out a shaky breath and Louis pulls his hand off Harry. "God, I just want to be my own person for once. Is that too much to ask?"

"Does this, er, happen a lot?" Louis scratches the back of his neck.

Harry rolls his eyes. "You have no idea. And it usually happens exactly like this every time. I only know half the story until someone else comes barging in telling me shit about my dad."

"So what about the aquariums and whatnot then?" Louis asks.

"Who knows. He probably let me fail with those ones, but wasn't about to let my last chance get away from me. Fucking  _bribing_  the board of directors. I should quit. So fucking embarrassing..." Harry leans his head back to exhale into the sky.

"I mean, it sounds like he really cares about you a lot. I think that's a really great thing." Louis says.

Harry looks at Louis. "'A really great thing'? It's not great when everything you've accomplished in life comes with your dad's money being the foundation of it. Nobody even sees me as me. They just see me as 'Desmond Styles' Son'."

Apparently Louis is out of his depth here. Not surprising since he's been fatherless for almost as long as he can remember. "Sorry. I see what you're saying. I'm just saying I think it's nice that he wants the best for you."

Harry scoffs. "You sound just like him."

Louis scratches his nose. "I'm just saying I think it's nice. I'm not trying to offend you."

Harry relaxes a little at hearing that. "Sorry, I know. I didn't mean to, just-" he huffs out in defeat, "I'm sorry. It's just, you're my boss, and I don't want you seeing me differently."

Louis shrugs. "I still see you as the one and only Harry Styles."

Harry smiles in contentment. "Good."

Sabrina comes rushing out of the Beastro. "I have your food! It hasn't gotten any slower, oh my goodness!" She slams two trays down on their table. "Enjoy!"

Louis watches, amused, as she runs off.

Harry is looking at Louis' tray. "They didn't wrap your veggie burger in lettuce?"

Louis looks back at Harry. "They were busy."

"Are you going to go ask them to fix it?" Harry gathers a chunk of lettuce with his fork.

Louis raises an eyebrow. "No. It's fine. I can just give the buns to the pigeons or something."

"But they didn't get your order right?" Harry suggests like it was a 50 dollar burger.

Louis flits his hand dismissively. "I'm not about to upheave the government over extra carbs. They're my friends in there, and I've no reason to complain when 100 percent of my meal is still comestible."

Harry seems to sit on that thought for a minute before speaking up again. "So you are worried about getting fat?"

Louis snorts. "I wish that were the worst of my worries." Harry gives him a look and Louis smiles good-naturedly. "I embrace my curviness. I just prefer to stay healthy. Keep my brain and body working well and all that."

Harry looks at Louis like he's just colored his hair puce and declared running for president of the United States. "But you smoke."

Oh. Harry's reaction makes a lot more sense now.

"Yes." Louis says. "And you bite the hand that feeds you by trying to estrange yourself from your father. Would you like to get into a philosophical discussion of the paradoxes of life over house salads and veggie burgers with buns, or perhaps save it for another time?"

Harry purses his lips. "Sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for. Just putting it into perspective for you." Louis removes the buns from his veggie burger and picks some pieces off to toss to the hopeful pigeons lurking close by.

Louis cuts into his veggie burger. "Also, I don't think you should worry so much about what other people think of you whether it's trying to be likable for bosses or peers. Just... do you. And the insincere people will naturally leave and those that like you will be drawn to you. No need to try and fight destiny."

"Destiny?" Harry perks an eyebrow between bites of his salad. A small drop of dressing runs down his chin.

So much for saving the philosophical discussions. "Yeah. You know, like, the law of the universe? People who are meant to fall into your life will find their way there, and those that don't bring you anything positive will fall out of your life. Doesn't matter much what you try and do about it because it's all the universe's plan in the first place."

"You don't believe in God? Or changing your destiny?" Harry asks.

"I believe in the laws of nature and Mother Earth." Louis says diplomatically because no, he doesn't actually believe that God would let shit things happen to good people. Suffering is destiny, not from God. The small silver cross that dangles from Harry's neck clues Louis in on thinking that Harry probably has a different opinion, which is why he chooses to stay ambiguous about the topic for now.

Harry nods slowly and pokes around at his salad, looking like he's fighting the urge to clarify.

"Not everything in life has a straightforward answer." Louis smiles. "But I do like that you're curious."

This seems to divert Harry's mind. "It's how I learn things."

"I can tell." Louis finishes his veggie burger and notices that Harry's bowl is just about empty. "Help me finish these sweet potato fries, and we'll go find Brooke and Zayn, yes?"

"Okay!" Harry reaches for a large handful of sweet potato fries and Louis smacks his hand.

"I didn't say eat the whole thing!" Louis reprimands through a smile.

Harry defiantly shoves the handful of fries into his mouth and they both laugh when Harry can't close his mouth around it.

~~~

 


	6. Chapter 5

 

A/N: I sincerely apologize for the three hour late update.  Holiday family activities pulled me from schedule.  Nevertheless, here is the update :).  Next chapter will be posted Friday at noon, as usual.

This one is dedicated to @Geekykhaleesi89 for always leaving comments and being the bomb ;)

~~~

Z

Zayn isn't normally one to be disrespectful of getting physical. But in this instance, he's at work, and if he keeps one eye open while snogging the life out of Brooke, he won't let himself feel bad about it.

It's responsible is what it is.

His responsibility pays off when he sees Louis and Harry approaching. Brooke has his bottom lip between her teeth and he definitely needs to take this girl on a proper date.

"Brooke, Louis and Harry are here." Zayn mumbles against her lips.

"Louis already knows." Brooke says breathily, going for his neck.

"And Harry doesn't. Which could very well get me fired." Zayn gently pushes away from her and she juts out her bottom lip and huffs. It bothers Zayn a bit because honestly, she's a bit of a pouter. Zayn definitely is not one for pouters.

Louis however seemed to have a bit of a soft spot for them, as proven by his first, last, and only boyfriend he had.

Oh how Zayn thanks Allah that Louis is not with Mark anymore. What a nightmare. He prays that Harry isn't a pouter.

He also doesn't think Harry would have much of a problem with walking in on any remotely sexual scene between himself and Brooke. Then again, he doesn't think Harry has much of a problem with anything. That boy is one of the shadiest people Zayn has ever met in the Platitat. His optimism and doting over Louis, then the way he side-eyes Zayn in between checking out Louis' ass like he's not ashamed at all.

The signs are pointing to Harry definitely being a man on the streets and a freak in the sheets in Zayn's opinion. However, Zayn's noticed the cross around Harry's neck and read his employee profile that goes into some detail about Harry's wealthy and stable parents that don't normally accompany gender fluid nymphomaniacs. Zayn knows Harry was homeschooled despite standard social skills that are only marginally off point; and his bank account probably shows a number that is too high for Zayn to even count to, yet doesn't appear to be phased by it when getting platypus shit up to his elbows.

Zayn can't figure out Harry. It's abnormal.

Brooke hops up onto the stainless steel counter, and okay, they prep platypus food there. However, Brooke does seem to have high hygiene standards, and he figures her clothed bum is probably as sanitary as Louis' legs when he's tromping around in their pond. The platypai probably don't mind.

He makes small talk with Brooke while watching Louis open the door for Harry. Louis is really too chivalrous. Zayn steps closer to the door to eavesdrop better, completely ignoring Brooke who is talking about her sister who is pregnant with her boyfriend who's not a boyfriend.

"You know you don't always have to get doors for me." Harry says.

"I know. But I want to." Louis says. "It's not like it cost me anything."

Zayn wants to help Louis. Louis definitely needs his expert training in conversational skills.

Harry's lips slightly part like he's about to ask a question and his hand fidgets with the side seam of his shorts. Louis stares a bit longer than is normal for a straight man, and only seems to realize it when Harry's eyes widen and his lips purse together, the question seemingly ripped from them.

Louis and Harry look to the ground and Harry shuffles in quickly. Louis releases the door behind them.  

Zayn laughs to himself at how painfully obvious and awkward they both are. It's endearing.

Brooke is swinging her legs back and forth and raising her eyebrows expectantly at him.

Zayn goes for an empathetic face. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean." Hoping that it's the proper response Brooke was going for.

This seems to please her. "I know! I mean, even though she's only my step sister, I still feel like it's  _my_  responsibility as her younger sister to tell her when a guy is no good for her! And she doesn't even listen! No, instead she goes and gets  _pregnant_  with the uncommitted bastard. I told her she should get rid of it."

Zayn nods benignly and then gives a tight smile to Louis as he approaches. Louis looks him up and down.

If Louis were any other person, he would see Zayn as the most pristine looking person he'd ever come across, because Zayn is, in fact, pristine. But Louis is Louis, and sees the less than perfect hair and slightly rumpled shirt that Zayn forgot to straighten out.

At least Harry won't notice.

"So, did you guys end up eating lunch, or were you too busy the whole time?" Louis asks like he knows everything. Probably because he just about does when it comes to Zayn.

Zayn narrows his eyes. "We ate lunch."

Louis makes a face of nonchalance. "Congratulations then. So I believe we have some very serious matters to discuss."

Louis looks pointedly at Brooke who looks like she's about to have an aneurysm. Zayn rolls his eyes and Harry looks like he's seconds from passing out, trying too hard to telepathically figure out what Louis' going to say.

Louis pulls the cap off one of the whiteboard markers. "Goodness I'm not about to fire anyone. Calm down." At Louis' words, Brooke and Harry visibly exhale. "We need to discuss the name of our newcomer."

Harry looks like he's about to jump out of his shorts. "The new platypus?!"

"We're getting a new platypus?" Brooke directs her question toward Zayn who just gives an affirmative face of distaste.

It's not like everything has to be passed through Zayn for it to be confirmed. Louis is just as reliable a source of information around here. Everyone knows the Platitat is part of Louis' identity which makes this Louis' habitat in a sense. Louis is the mother hen of all things here.

Louis speaks up again. "Yes Brooke.  _Zayn_  should have already informed you of that."

Zayn thinks the stress on his name is really unnecessary, so he just gives Louis an unmitigated face in response.

"Anyway..." Louis mutters on and shoves a piece of gum in his mouth. "We need to discuss a name for him!"

Harry looks like he's just found out he's pregnant with Louis' child and Brooke looks like-

Wait.

Zayn shakes his head. He really needs to lay off the high-hash weed. It makes him hallucinate things about Louis and Harry that he really doesn't want to be hallucinating about.

At least not at work.

He switches his mind to a more logical train of though. "Hang on, it's not already named?"

Louis claps his hand together. "Nope! A little boy found an egg by the riverside and incubated it until it hatched and he found out it was a platypus. He gave it to a vet when he realized it wasn't a bird, and the vet kept it until it reached adulthood. So. It is an imprint without a name. I already have one in mind, but I'd like to hear your thoughts."

Of course Louis already has a name picked out for the creature. Louis has been waiting for five years to name a platypus after his damn American TV show.

Zayn figures he should probably speak up before Louis persuades them. "Bruce."

Everyone stares at him.

"What? It's a powerful name for a powerful platypus." He shrugs. No one else is offering opinions.

"What about Shantel?" Brooke asks.

Brooke gets the same response as Zayn.

Harry looks to Louis like he relies on him to get to the top of Everest. "What's your idea?"

Great. This is a losing battle because it's about to be two against Zayn. Unless Zayn agrees with 'Shantel'. Which he most certainly does not.

Louis smiles triumphantly and writes the letters on the board.

"Perry." Harry reads it off like they're naming their first born.

Louis nods.

Brooke swoons. "Perry the platypus. It's perfect!"

"Can we all just talk about the fact that Louis did not come up with this idea on his own?" Maybe Zayn can dissuade them yet.

Louis points the marker at him. "All the best ideas are stolen Zayn."

What kind of an argument is that? He supposes it doesn't matter much because Louis knows just as much as Zayn that it's Louis' patrimony to name this platypus.

Harry, of course, asks a question in response. "Where did you get the idea from?"

Louis shrugs. "Just a foreign television show I came across whilst searching YouTube for platypus videos. It makes me quite popular amongst our teenage American tourists. They always ask about it."

Zayn wants to point out that America isn't actually that foreign and also that admitting to traversing YouTube for something he already devotes a great portion of his life to is probably not something to advertise.

But. Harry seems to be into it. And that makes Louis happy. Which makes Zayn happy. And Louis deserves to be happy. So he stays silent.

"That's really cool." Harry says.

"I thinks it's three votes out of four then." Brooke says.

Louis knows he's already won their hearts, but still looks to Zayn for final say.

Zayn smiles. "So when will Perry be arriving?"

The door opens again and the four of them snap their heads towards the entrance, not expecting any other employees to be back here.

Conner walks up to the group in the zoo uniform that looks unfitting on his very tall figure.

This normally isn't an odd thing, except for it's coming up on show time, which Conner knows, and normally when he comes, it's to have a sit down with Louis or himself.

"Perry will be here sometime next week. Harry. Brooke. Good to see you two again. Hope you're liking the job so far?" Conner smiles at them.

They both nod furiously and Brooke scrambles off the top of the counter.

"Excellent. I know I'm here right before a show, but Zayn, do you think you can handle it? I need to speak with Louis. I'm traveling up the coast to go pick up Perry over the weekend and this is the only time I have to do our sit down before she arrives." Conner says, blue eyes scanning the room.

"Yeah, go ahead. I got everything handled here." Zayn waves off.

"Thanks." Conner nods at Zayn then turns to Louis. "Louis?"

Louis nods and follows Conner out the door.

~~~

L

"So how are things going?" Conner asks.

Louis walks alongside him. "Really well."

"Things are all good?" Conner reiterates.

Louis pauses. "I mean, yes. There honestly isn't anything to complain about. I've been feeling a bit on the side of restless lately. But you know me- it comes and it goes."

Conner leads them to the back benches in the dolphin exhibit. "I know it's been over seven years, but you're not about to do anything on the dangerous side of impulsive are you?" He motions for Louis to sit on one of the benches.

Louis shakes his head and takes a seat next to Conner. "Never again."

Conner nods thoughtfully and watches the dolphins for a bit.

"I mean, the most impulsive thing I did since then was buy my car; and that was two years ago. So that would make at least..." Louis rubs at his facial hair. "Three more years until I do something equal to or greater than that." Louis smiles.

"Good. Impulsivity doesn't suit you... But hey, that's just me judging based off your past experiences."  Conner nudges his shoulder.

Louis rolls his eyes playfully. "I think you're only so sensitive to it because every impulsive decision I've made in my life has directly affected you."

Conner laughs chuckles. "From the time you were 14 until today." He ruffles Louis' hair.

"You know I'm 29. I don't think I deserve to have my hair messed up anymore." Louis teases.

"Maybe I'd worry about it if I knew you spent a fraction of the time on your hair as Zayn does on his." Conner laughs.

"Hey, I spend time on my hair. In fact, I got a haircut recently." Louis sits up straighter, showing that his hair isn't on the mangy mullet side anymore.

Conner quirks an eyebrow. "How recently is 'recently'?"

Louis' mouth opens to reply, but he pauses. It's not at the tip of his tongue because he actually can't remember. Maybe it wasn't so recently. He looks at his hands, searching for the answer there, only to be disappointed.

Conner wraps an arm around Louis' shoulder. "It doesn't matter. I like the look. You look like me when I was 29."

Louis breaks from his trance and snorts. "Because that's a compliment. I think I should be worried my 60-year-old  _boss_  is telling me I'm stylish."

Even though Conner is 60, he certainly doesn't look it. With a bright smile and blonde hair, he emits a much more youthful aura, the only wrinkles on his face being laugh lines that show years of happiness.

Very different than what Louis thinks he will look like at 60. That is, if he makes it to 60.

Conner's tone softens. "Oh Louis. You know you're much more to me than just another employee."

Louis sighs. "And you're basically my second dad. Or third. Because there's Zayn's dad too..." Louis trails off as if Conner isn't very important to him even though he's the most stable father figure Louis' had in his life.

Conner stands up and folds his arms. "Hey now. I'm still your boss. Your career is in my hands."

Louis waves him off. "Go preach it to someone who is still scared by you." He stands to walk alongside Conner again.

"Hmm, speaking of... How are Brooke and Harry doing?" Conner asks as they walk away from the dolphin exhibit.

"Harry is the utmost model intern one could ask for... Though I hear his father bribed the board for him to get the position. Is that true?" Louis asks.

Conner nods once. "It wouldn't matter if our waiting list for interns was a year or five years long. Desmond is a very powerful man and his company has made many large charitable contributions to the Taronga Zoo for years before Harry knew what a monotreme was."

Louis snorts and Conner raises an eyebrow at him.

"I actually taught him what a monotreme was the other day. He didn't know." Louis shakes his head. "Anyway. So you're saying it's not as shady as the Eco Explorers make it sound?"

"Oh definitely not. It was the least we could do for Desmond." Conner gives Louis a look. "And since when have you ever listened to what Eco Explorers have to say anyway?"

"Since Vanessa verbally assaulted my intern in a public setting in front of his superiors and peers." Louis says.

Conner pauses alongside the rope that blocks off the wolverine exhibit. "So you've taken responsibility for training Harry then?"

"What?" Louis asks.

"Along with the protective demeanor, your use of the word ' _my'_  hints that you may be a bit possessive of him." The corners of Conner's lips are begging to curl up into a smile.

Louis feels lightly flushed. "I'm not possessive."

Conner looks amused. "Sure. That aside, we both know how protective you are."

Louis shrugs. "He's homeschooled. He's like a baby duck. Someone has to look out for him."

He's not sure if the excuse sounds as fake to Conner as it does to his own ears. It's not that there isn't truth to it, it's just that there's something  _more_  than just that.

Louis watches the wolverines play fight back and forth up a hill. A baby wolverine pokes its head out from behind a brush.

"So this means we're going to have an issue with Brooke then?" Conner purses his lips.

"I think we both know Brooke isn't the problematic one." Louis says.

Conner sighs. "What am I supposed to do with Zayn?"

"Same thing we've always done." Louis laughs.

"Let him smooth talk his way out of it?" Conner chuckles. "That boy needs to learn that one day his looks won't be there, and there will be a girl that his words don't affect. I'm not worried about a lawsuit, but I am worried about what that will mean if he gets laid off. No offense, but he's not exactly a spring chicken anymore, and starting over in a career at your guys' age is no easy task. I would know."

Louis nods. "I think he has a handle on things with Brooke. Maybe it will pass quickly this time. She doesn't seem like the kind to want to settle down per say."

"I thought I was safe when I started hiring only boys. Then I walked in on Zayn and Jason later that day." Conner shakes his head as he reminisces.

Louis remembers Jason. Zayn and Louis were 23 and had just been promoted to be the supervisors of the Platitat. Jason was 20 and their first official intern they oversaw and had full responsibility over. He was fit and gorgeous and it didn't surprise Louis one bit when Zayn told him about their fling.

"Maybe you just need to hire uglier interns." Louis suggests.

It's not a half bad idea. It would make for a much more boring year and a much less dramatic Platitat, but Louis would be lying if he didn't say part of the fun in working with Zayn over the years is watching the soap opera that is his life.

"Maybe." Conner leans clasped hands over the rope barrier. "Zayn's not interested in Harry too is he? When he goes for both in one season, it makes it a much bigger headache for the both of us."

Louis shakes his head quickly. "No. Zayn wouldn't because Harry's not- uh, he doesn't swing that way."

Conner looks at Louis like his arms have morphed into rotini.

"What? Did Harry say something to you? Is it in his work profile? Are there things I should know?" Louis feels like he showed up after midnight at Cinderella's ball.

Conner fights a look of disbelief off his face and turns towards the wolverines again. "It's none of my business."

Louis wants to insolently badger him for more information, but combats the childish urge. It can't matter to him anyway. It won't change anything.

"Anyway. I'm going to pick up Perry this weekend. I trust you have everything handled here?" Conner asks.

Louis nods. "Of course."

"Good then. I'll text you when I'm on my way in with Perry. I'm going to give her a week to decompress at the dark pond at my flat, then I'll bring her into the Platitat as soon as she's eating regularly." Conner says.

"Safe travels." Louis smiles.

"Come here, you." Conner pulls Louis into a hug and ruffles his hair, and Louis laughs.

~~~


	7. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the late upload... I've been in business meetings all morning and afternoon.  As an apology, I'll give you guys a double upload.  Again, thank you so much for the comments and kudos! You are wonderful <3 xoxoxoxo

-LemonSuccubus (Dannie Ybarra)

Twitter: [@LemonSuccubus](http://www.twitter.com/lemonsuccubus)

~~~

It's Saturday night and Louis is mindlessly picking strings on his guitar while Zayn smokes next to him.

"I'm taking Brooke out after Blue Grounds." Zayn says.

"Mmhmm." Louis acknowledges while working a pattern with his fingers.

"You and Harry get along well. He's really responsive to you." Zayn says.

Louis pauses for a moment. "He's really easy to get on with." Louis says, wishing he were quicker to figure out the song at his fingertips. "He's also really quick." Louis wants to play a new song for tomorrow, but can't decide which one is right...

"You know you could invite Harry too." Zayn says.

Louis sighs, but decides to humor him. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you guys get along. That's normally the next friendship building step." Zayn takes a drag.

"I have friends." Louis' fingernail catches on one of the guitar strings. He mumbles a swear under his breath and inspects his fingernails for damage. "I have you. And Niall and Barbie. Then there's Lucas at the bar. And Conner; he's a friend. Lots of friends Zayn. I don't need any more."

"And none of those people, with the exception of myself, are of a sexually emotional interest to you." Zayn says.

"'A sexually... emotional interest.'" Louis pauses over the words. "I believe the term you're looking for is 'relationship potential'."

"No." Zayn pauses. "Because I know how averse you are to that, which is why I would never suggest such a thing."

Louis rolls his eyes. "Okay. So what's the difference in someone I'm sexually and emotionally interested in and someone with relationship potential?"

Zayn exhales smoke. "Well there's the obvious argument of semantics," Louis opens his mouth to cut in, but Zayn holds up a finger, "but; also, one is locking yourself into an end goal of a relationship, and the other is just enjoying the other person sexually and emotionally."

Louis' not sure if Zayn is being serious or just messing around. "So you're saying I should use someone? In this specific case, Harry."

"No Louis. You're making this more difficult than it is. I'm just saying don't set so many boundaries around how many friendships you have, or around where those friendships could lead." Zayn points the blunt at Louis.

"You know why I can't do that." Louis says quietly, then looks down to his guitar to practice chord changes.

Zayn knows he can't do that, but Louis can't find it in himself to be upset in the slightest. Zayn rarely pushes Louis when it comes to sensitive topics.

It seems like Harry overlaps into that sensitive area of Louis' life, and he knows it because of the natural gravitation he has towards Harry. What makes it hard for Louis, is that Harry seems to gravitate towards Louis as well. Which means one of them has to pull against gravity to prevent from getting too close.

Harry seems like the very trusting, jump-in-head-first type, and Louis really can't afford to let himself get close. However, that won't make him deny that Harry downright intrigues him.

Zayn breaks the silence. "So the age difference thing... does it still bother you?"

"I think..." Louis stops plucking his fingers. "I think I want to get to know him more. I mean, I know I do. He's really... different and the age thing wouldn't be an issue if he was a really great person. I just don't want to overstep any boundaries or get too close. I don't really know what he thinks of me."

"You could always just ask him." Zayn says. "He respects the hell out of you, I can tell you that much."

"Hmm." Louis hums and picks up his phone. "Maybe."

There's a plane overhead that rumbles through the sky for a moment, then fades back into a faint background noise. One of the neighbors turns into the cul-de-sac and their car's tires crunch on the gravel as they slow down and pull into the driveway at the end of the street.

Louis likes where their flat is sited. Located on the corner of the street; it's one of only five flats on the whole road and a small field that has yet to be bought and developed is directly across from theirs.

He opens up a text to Harry. They still haven't texted since the first day. He'll start off with something noncommittal in case Harry is busy or uninterested.

**So, how have you enjoyed your first week as an intern?**

He stares at the frets on his guitar after setting his phone down.

His phone vibrates.

"That was quick." Louis mumbles to himself.

"What?" Zayn asks uninterestedly.

Louis ignores him.

**So great! I love it :) Thank you so much for everything you've taught me so far... I know I'm not as smart as Brooke :P**

Well he definitely seems to be in a talkative mood. Louis types a reply.

**Glad to hear it! You are just as smart as Brooke, if not smarter (shh don't tell her I said that ;) ). What do you think of her so far? Do you get on well with each other?**

"That doesn't sound too peppy, does it?" Louis says mundanely. "I think it does. It's too late now..."

"Are you actually asking me questions, or just talking to yourself?" Zayn slowly exhales smoke onto the side of Louis' face.

"Neither. And don't' breathe on me unless you're going to give me a hit." Louis leans towards Zayn, still holding his guitar and phone in his lap. His eyes flick to Zayn's lips that are curling into a smirk.

Zayn lifts the blunt up again and takes a lengthy drag. He scans Louis' face, appreciating how attractive he is. Zayn leans in and presses his lips to Louis', then releases the dry smoke into his mouth. Louis' lips close around the smoke, but stay pressed against Zayn's lips for longer than necessary.

Louis barely pulls away to blow the smoke onto Zayn's face, then lazily looks down to Zayn's lips again. Closing the gap, their opened lips meet softly, and Louis presses his tongue into Zayn's mouth, enjoying the strong taste of weed.

His phone vibrates in his hand, and he breaks the kiss. Zayn takes another hit, and Louis opens the text from Harry.

**Yeah! She's super nice and helps me out when I forget things and am too embarrassed to ask you ;P.**

Louis closes his eyes and leans back into the sofa to think for a minute. He holds his hand out to Zayn for another smoke.

Instead of giving him the blunt, Zayn tilts Louis' chin towards him and dips his lips down to meet Louis' again. Louis parts his lips to capture the smoke from Zayn and swirls it around in his mouth before breathing it out through his nose.

Louis feels Zayn's tongue asking for entrance, and lets him in. He licks against Zayn's tongue, feeling a slow haziness make its way through his veins.

Zayn trails his mouth along Louis' jawbone, then kisses behind his ear. Zayn sucks lightly on his skin, kisses lower down his neck and drops his forehead to Louis' shoulder.

Louis tilts Zayn's chin up and looks down to his hands. "Again."

Zayn lifts the blunt and inhales. Louis molds his lips against Zayn's as they exchange the smoke. The words form in his mind and he pulls away from Zayn so he can text Harry. Louis sits back into the sofa again to let the smoke seep into his mouth.

"They say shot gunning gives you a better high." Zayn says.

Louis closes his eyes and exhales. "Anything becomes better when lips are involved."

"I read an article on it." Zayn says. "It's science."

"Science." Louis acknowledges. He looks his phone. He rereads through their conversation and types a reply.

**Embarrassed? Everyone forgets things... You know I'm like the most patient person alive? You don't need to be scared to ask me for help.**

Louis takes the blunt from Zayn to take a proper hit. Harry's reply comes a minute later.

**I know... I just don't want you thinking I'm incompetent...**

Silly Harry. Even the platypodes know that Harry is far from incompetent. Which Louis still needs to correct him on the plural form of that next time he says it.

**Never have thought that for a second. You're one of the smartest people I know.**

"Harry doesn't want me thinking he's incompetent." Louis says.

Zayn looks at Louis. "He likes you."

Louis' phone vibrates.

**You don't even know me that well... I might secretly be really inept. Or maybe you've seen the full extent of my knowledge and the rest is just hot air.**

Louis smiles at his phone.

**I have good intuition about these kinds of things. Don't challenge me.**

"How do you know he actually likes me?" Louis asks with glazed eyes.

"Science." Zayn says. "Chemistry specifically."

Louis moves the fringe from his eyes and looks at Harry's newest text.

**Fine :P. In any case, you are one of the nicest people I know.**

This makes Louis roll his eyes and he decides to take Harry's line.

**'You don't even know me that well' ;P**

Harry's text comes through almost instantly.

**'I have good intuition about these kinds of things. Don't challenge me.' ;)**

His body feels like he's been shaken really hard; like his heartrate has increased and he feels singled out by the universe, making him feel paranoid, wondering if anyone else feels like they've been assaulted too; like he is over reacting to something that isn't a big deal, except it feels like a big deal. There's a word for it, but it's not coming to mind...

**Get your own comebacks, mine are copyrighted ;). Besides, no one challenges me. I'm the boss.**

He stiffly puts his phone back in his lap. The stakes of this conversation seem to be building up to something intangible that Louis' can't put his finger on; and he's determined to find out what. He stretches out fingers that feel tense from squeezing into the side of his phone.

Tense. The word is tense.

He needs another hit.

"Z, pass me the blunt." Louis holds out his hand.

"You've gotta commit. Are you practicing guitar, texting Harry, or smoking with me?" Zayn looks at him blankly.

Louis sets his guitar on the porch. "Happy?"

Zayn purses his lips and shakes his head. Zayn has a tendency to get more on the physical side when he smokes more weed than normal. Not that Louis necessarily has a problem with it.

Louis gives a resigned sigh and scoots closer to Zayn. Zayn takes a drag and lets it out against Louis' parted lips again. Louis closes his eyes for a couple moments, letting the heat tickle at his lips and roam around his mouth. The dry heat is replaced with a wet heat, and he's lazily kissing Zayn again.

His phone pleasantly buzzes again and Louis clears out the haziness before reading Harry's response.

**Hmm, what can I do to get some of your come back?**

What.

His brain has stalled, and another text comes in from Harry.

***comebacks. Oops :)**

"I think... Fuck. I don't know. What do I do with this?" Louis hands Zayn his phone.

Zayn reads through the most recent texts and laughs. "Mate, this is called flirting. Rather aggressive flirting on his part it seems. You would know if you put any effort forth in your dating life the last six years."

"What should I say back?" Louis feels like the only person in elementary school without a set of crayons. He is definitely unprepared for this caliber of conversation with Harry.

"Well. You can either play it off and just say something cheeky back. Or you could keep flirting and see what happens." Zayn hands Louis his phone back. "Maybe invite him out. Come back here and do whatever weird kinky things you guys decide to do."

"You don't... He's not..." Louis taps his fingers against his phone. "I don't even know if he's like that."

"Who's saying anything about what he's like? Maybe he's a whiny bitch. Maybe you guys become awkward bro friends with lots of sexual tension. Maybe you guys fuck... or just cuddle. Just let it happen." Zayn shrugs.

Louis lights a cigarette.

Zayn smiles. "Do you have lube just in case?"

Louis looks at Zayn. "I am unamused by you."

"Lies and slander. You keep me around purely for your amusement." Zayn takes a cigarette from Louis' pack and lights it on the one already lit between Louis' lips.

Louis mumbles with the stick still between his lips. "No, I keep you around so you can help me fucking reply to these kinds of texts. What do I say?"

Zayn holds an expectant hand out to Louis. Louis lamely drops his phone into Zayn's palm. Zayn replies back to Harry.

Zayn hands Louis' phone back to him. Louis reads the text.

**That depends. How do you feel about blowjobs?**

"Zayn. I'm going to fucking piss in your hair products." Louis quickly types another text to Harry before Harry files a lawsuit for sexual harassment.

**Apologies, that was Zayn. He's a bit too stoned to be trusted with my phone.**

But right when Louis sends the text to Harry, Harry has already replied to Zayn's text.

**Fantastic... As long as you promise to leave scratch marks everywhere ;)**

"Oh my God Zayn." Louis swears the temperature significantly increased. He can never unsee those words. Only 26 letters in the alphabet and he will never not think of them stringed together in such a way ever again. He will never look at Harry the same.

"You're welcome." Zayn says.

Another text comes in from Harry shortly after.

**...Oops...**

**Hi Zayn....**

"Fuck. Fix this Zayn." Louis hands his phone to Zayn.

Zayn laughs when he reads the last thread of texts and starts typing a new one to Harry.

Louis ignores him and finishes his cigarette. He repositions his guitar again and goes over the chords and strumming pattern with his song for almost a half hour until he's happy with it.

Zayn hands him his phone back and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm turning in. Love you."

"Love you. Night." Louis gives him a peck on the lips.

"Night." Zayn calls behind him as he closes the front door to their flat.

Louis sets his guitar aside and stretches out. He unlocks his phone to see the damage that Zayn had done.

**Louis: Hi Harry! I've been trying all week to tell Louis that you're in to him**

**Harry: Lol. Oops again. Didn't mean to be so obvious.**

**Louis: Louis thinks he's the good people reader, but I'm secretly just as good**

**Harry: I didn't offend him, did I? Or freak him out... I mean, I'm still not sure about... yeah...**

**Louis: Yes he's gay. You're gay. I'm gay (bi actually). Now that it's out in the open, we can stop acting like puerile elementary (and home) schoolers and have a proper relationship**

**Harry: You guys are into bigamy? ;)**

**Louis: You're a cheeky sod, you know that? ;P**

**Harry: You didn't answer my question...**

**Louis: Marriage certificates are involved for it to be classified as bigamy, smart one ;P**

**Harry: Glad to know we won't be breaking any laws then...**

**Louis: God damn.**

**Harry: Sorry! I swear I'm not perverted...**

**Harry: Will you delete these before you give the phone back to Louis?**

**Harry: Zayn?**

**Harry: Oh my god please don't fire me. I'm sorry.**

The blend of humiliation, hysterics, and hornieness are all swimming around in Louis' veins. Despite the rabid piranhas in his stomach, he can't keep the smile off his face. He types a text up to Harry.

Why would we fire you young Harold? And where did my conversation history go? Should I be concerned?

This is fun. Louis is amused.

**...Louis?**

Louis laughs. Harry is so skittish.

**The one and only :)**

Louis picks up his guitar and heads into the flat. His phone vibrates again in his pocket and he pulls it out.

**Sorry about earlier. We can just forget about the conversation.**

Louis sheds his clothes and hops into his bed to reply.

**I don't think so. Unless of course, you want to. Then we can.**

He pulls the covers over himself and waits for his phone to light up. He feels like he's forgetting something important, but can't remember what.

He decides against online chess tonight since he spent extra time on his guitar and is about to fall asleep when the light notifies him of Harry's reply.

**I don't want to either :))**

~~~

 


	8. Chapter 7

  
A/N: Fun fact: the bottom picture shows how platypodes are typically restrained for veterinary procedures.

Top picture is 10/10 Jerry <3

~~~

Sunday morning makes Louis feel like he's left something burning on a stove in the Platitat all night and he's forced to go in and assess the damage.  He smokes two extra cigarettes before going in to work, then unwraps two sticks of gum shortly after.  

Because he takes an extra 10 minutes smoking this morning, he is the last to arrive at the Platitat.  Zayn is prepping the last of the food, Brooke is feeding some of the platypodes on one end of the exhibit, and Harry is watering all of the foliage at the other end.

"Morning!"  Louis chirps.

"Nice of you to join us."  Zayn says with the enthusiasm of Charlie Brown.

Louis laughs because maybe he's more anxious than he should be. 

Sunday means it's weigh-in day.  Since everyone else has the morning chores handled, Louis files out the heavy binder full of platypus weights and drops it on the prep table with a loud slam. 

Zayn glares at him.

Louis nonchalantly looks over his shoulder to see if he caught Harry's attention.

Harry jumps and looks alarmingly at his surroundings until he realizes where the sound came from.  Louis looks back at his binder and smiles.

Mission accomplished.

"Oh my God Louis.  Are you actually five?"  Zayn mumbles.  "You only had to wait another 30 seconds to talk to him."

"Shut up.  I'm nervous."  Louis opens the cover with twitchy hands and starts shuffling through the pages.  Too much nicotine too early in the morning.  That's all it is.

Harry appears at Louis' side and sticks his watering pail in the sink and lets the faucet run to refill it.  "Good morning!"  Harry says.

"A good one it is.  How are the plants this morning?"  Louis asks.

"They're happy."  Harry smiles like he's just had a long heart-to-heart with each one of the plants and knows every detail about their lives.

Louis grins.  "Good.  After you're done giving them breakfast, come see me.  I've a thing or two to teach you about weighing platypodes."

Harry stifles another smile.  "Okay..."  Harry cuts himself off when he notices the water running over the brim of the pail.  He shuts off the faucet and hurries away from Louis, water sloshing over the top of the pail and onto Harry's shoes.

Louis is smiling at the ink on the paper.

"When did the plants become your and Harry's children?"  Zayn asks.

Louis snaps his head towards Zayn.  "What?"

"Mate, you gotta chill on the heart eyes with that boy or people are going to start noticing in presentations."  Zayn says.

Louis feels like Zayn may have well just outed him in front of a hundred people, even though this was much kinder.  He takes Zayn's words seriously because Zayn has always been honest with him.  Louis doesn't say anything back, and instead starts writing down last week's weight into its proper column.

Harry appears at his side again 10 minutes later.  "The plants are all fed and ready for the day!  I'm ready for your knowledge maestro!"

Honestly, how can anybody not fond into pieces over Harry? 

Louis pushes down the stupid grin threatening to take over his face and hands Harry a pen.  "Okay.  So these are the platypus weights.  We weigh the paddle every Sunday to make sure they are in good health.  Each week has its own page, and on the page, we juxtapose the previous week's weight and this week so that we can determine if they're losing or gaining weight, or just staying the same.  We also include notes about their behavior and eating habits and if there have been any changes."

"Paddle is the term for a group of platypai?"  Harry lifts both his eyebrows.

"That's all you got from what I just said?"  Louis teases.

"No, the rest sounds straightforward enough."  Harry says, examining the paper.

"It is.  So I've already written in last week's weights and determined the difference, and we just need to fill in some comments for the platypodes."  Louis points a finger to the comment section.

Harry is staring at Louis' hand.  "You have long nails."

'As long as you promise to leave scratch marks everywhere' is now currently on a repeated loop in Louis mind along with what long red tracks of Louis' scratches would look like along Harry's back. 

"What?"  Louis looks at Harry, trying not to act like someone dunked his body in napalm. 

"What?"  Harry looks horrified upon realizing he had said that out loud.

He feels the strong need to say something so that they don't encounter an awkward silence.  "I, uh, play guitar."  Louis says like it's supposed to fix the situation.  Most guitarists normally have longer fingernails.  It makes sense, but it doesn't fix the tenseness that keeps tightening around them.

Harry's eyes are saucer dishes and his cheeks are cherries.  "I play the ocarina."

Louis feels like they are on a derailed train that is doing flips into the Grand Canyon and honestly, he has no idea what the hell is happening.

Louis' mind is pulling for anything tactful to say.  He almost blurts something out in Italian because it seems the right thing to do, until he realizes that it would in fact, make the situation much worse.  His brain continues dry firing until his mouth starts to form a sentence.  "I love Zelda too!"  Is what comes out.

Harry seems to snap out of the mental derailment and a grin splits his face.  "Which one is your favorite?"

"A Link to the Past."  Louis responds automatically.

"Original or Four Swords?"  Harry asks immediately.

"Definitely original."  Louis bites his lip, but can't keep down the constriction of his throat and starts laughing.  "Which one is your favorite?"

Harry joins in laughing too.  "Ocarina of Time- but, oh my God-" He holds up his hands.  "Kaepora Gaebora makes me lose my shit every fucking time, but you have to keep going back to him because apparently the most annoying owl on the planet knows shit.  Like why the fuck did Yoichi Yamada pass that off as one of the most critical spirit guides of the game?  And like, don't even get me started on Navi-" Harry's voice increases in volume and speed.

Louis grabs his stomach and laughs harder.  "Oh my shit!  Navi is fucking Satan's spawn!  She is literally the reason I make Zayn play it every time.  Oh fuck!  And then Ruto-"  

Harry jumps in.  "Ruto's all like," Harry raises his voice a couple octaves and he acts out a damsel in distress.  "'Come save my bitch ass Link!' and then you save her and she's all 'We're destined to be together!  Make sweet love to me and I'll give you my family's priceless sapphire!'"  Harry finishes with a loud laugh and pretending to faint into Louis. 

"The Zora Sapphire?!  It's true love!"  Louis grabs Harry theatrically and they're both laughing themselves into hysterics.

"So.  Did you want us to pay for that performance... or?"  Zayn is standing by the fridge with a very confused looking Brooke behind him.

Harry scrambles out of Louis' hold and they both straighten themselves up.

Brooke looks awkwardly at Zayn and lowers her voice to a whisper.  "What the fuck just happened?"

"Sorry.  Just... going over weights with Harry."  Louis supplies.  Zayn looks like he's secretly amused, but trying to act professional for the sake of Brooke.

"Right.  I'll corral the platapai to the scale with Brooke then.  We'll bring the weights to you."  Zayn says and walks away.

Harry is looking at the ground, and Louis looks at the binder again. 

Louis lowers his voice.  "Personally, the mailman is my favorite recurring character."

Harry snorts out and slaps a hand over his mouth.  Louis chuckles and then gets back to teaching Harry about weights.

~~~

It's a miracle that Brooke doesn't get spurred while handling the platypodes.  Louis notes that she focuses too much on technique and not half as much on the platypus. 

He tells Harry as such.

"So why are you still letting her handle them?  Like why don't you and Zayn just do it?"  Harry asks.

Louis and Harry are standing across the prep room from the scale so that they can observe without stressing both the platypodes and Brooke.  Louis points to the situation folding out in front of them.  "It's important that Brooke gets this handling experience in, and just as important for her to learn to trust Zayn and respect him as her supervisor.  Normally the latter is a non-issue.  However, she seems a bit too full of herself for my liking."

Harry nods slowly.  "Isn't that bad though to put her in danger of getting spurred... And of stressing out the platypai?"

"Do you know where the word platypus comes from?"  Louis asks.

"What?"  Harry snaps his head toward Louis. 

"Like, the root of the word.  It's Greek.  Not Latin."  Louis says.

"I..."  Harry draws out the vowel.  "...don't think I'm following."

"Because it's originally a Greek word, it changes how the word ends.  So instead of 'platypai' or 'platypuses', the correct plural form is 'platypodes'."  Louis gently explains.  "We only use the term 'platypuses' or 'platypai' during presentations because it's more colloquial."

Harry bows his head ever so slightly.  "Thank you so much for explaining that to me.  Like, instead of just correcting me... or making fun."

"No problem."  Louis smiles.  "To answer your question, it's dangerous to Brooke only if we didn't have me or Zayn to supervise.  After that, it's on her to learn, and she's signed a disclosure saying as much.  It can hurt to learn sometimes, and that's okay.  I've been spurred before, so I have a full understanding and sympathy of what it all entails."

Harry furrows his eyebrows.  "You've been spurred?"

"Yes indeed."  Louis muses.

"When?  And which platypus?  What was it like?"  Harry asks like his life depends on it.

Louis grabs his water bottle form the refrigerator and hops up onto the stainless steel counter and pats for Harry to do the same.  Louis opens the bottle to take a swig, then passes it to Harry who copies the action.

"As you know, I was 14 when Zayn and I started interning here."  Louis starts.  Harry nods for him to continue.  "I was very angry as a teenager.  Like, very angry."

Harry keeps the disbelief on his face hidden well, but it seeps into his voice.  "You?  Angry?"

"I didn't always use to be like this."  Louis says.  "I was an angsty teenager once too.  Only I thought the chip on my shoulder was more valid than anyone else, of course."

"I can relate to that."  Harry mumbles.  "Sorry.  Anyway."  He gives the water bottle back to Louis.

"I had been interning for two years and really struggled to bond with any of the platypodes.  At that time, we had two other ones that have since passed.  But it was a Sunday and we were doing weigh-ins.  Conner was the one directly supervising back then, along with another man named Greg."  Louis smiles thinking back to his youth. 

"Sorry, getting off track.  Anyway.  Jerry was really repelled by me back then, and mind you, this is before we had Rico, so Jerry was a bit of a loner.  But it's like he knew all of my secrets and was disgusted with the kind of person I was.  So for two years, I felt judged by a platypus, which of course didn't go over well.  Animals are sensitive in general to humans' emotions, but platypodes in particular are incredibly intuitive.  So it's no surprise that Jerry and I didn't get along."  Louis takes a drink from the water bottle and sighs.

"So I was 16 and Conner told me I had to handle Jerry, which I had avoided at all costs for two years.  I tried tempting him over with shrimp treats which obviously didn't work back then.  Then I tried herding him, which he blatantly ran from.  So I was left with going to pick him up.  The second my hands touched him, he flailed in the water and spurred my arm.  I still have a scar."  Louis turns over his left forearm to show Harry the indented white skin.

Harry instantly reaches a hand over, then withdraws it back into his lap.  "It... looks like it went really deep..."

Louis raises his eyebrows in amusement.  "You can touch it if you want."

Harry's eyes flick up to Louis' for a confirmation of what he just said.  Louis nods again, and Harry's soft fingertips touch his scar like it's a feather.  Harry's fingers alone could wrap around Louis' entire forearm and probably still have some space. 

"So, it hurt then?"  Harry traces the outline. 

"It hurt like hell."  The longer Harry's fingers touch him, the more surprised Louis is at how soothing and natural it feels.  "I was smaller back then and it hit my body pretty hard.  I fainted in the water and woke up in a hospital.  The thing about platypus venom is it makes you extra sensitive to pain for a while.  Only, I swear it didn't only increase physical pain.  It was like pain in every sense was just heightened in my body.  Stubbing a toe felt like a car running over it.  Headaches felt like being thousands of kilometers in the sky without proper oxygen to assimilate."

Harry let his fingers graze off Louis' skin and he clasps them back in his lap.  "That sounds... really intense."

"It was; and it was like that for six months."  Louis leans back on his forearms.  "I came in to work two days later.  I had a key because I always came a half hour early.  I wanted to face my fears, so I fed Jerry early and let him out of his sleeping quarters.  He swam directly to me and I was scared for my life that he was still upset and coming for round two.  But I was sitting at the bank and when he reached me I realized I had to accept whatever my fate was going to be. 

"He climbed into my lap and laid down and it was one of the most peaceful moments of my life.  That was the turning point in my life where I started letting go of anger from the hard time that I had just gone through.  Jerry's been my best mate since."  Louis finishes.

"That's really... wow.  I'm sorry you had to go through something that kept you angry for so long."  Harry looks at Louis through his eyelashes.  "I'm just glad you were able to come out a happier person.  I don't think someone as kind as you should ever have to be angry."

Louis kind of wants to run his hands through Harry's curls.  "Anger was only the first of many grieving stages.  A lot safer than some of the others, in my opinion.  But definitely the most damning to personal growth."

Harry looks at the hem of one of the pockets on his shorts as he picks it.  "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Of course."  Louis responds.

"What got you so angry?"  Harry chances a look at Louis.

Louis sighs.  He wants to tell Harry.  He does.  But it's not the right time.  "Something that I should definitely be over by now."

Harry seems to understand and doesn't press for the answer again.  He asks a different question instead.  "If you're not- well, what stage are you in now?  Sorry, I don't know if that's too much- I just, am I naïve?  You seem happy.  Or content at least."

"You're not naïve Harry."  Louis shakes his head emphatically.  "I'm happy with my life... Pleased that I've made it to where I'm at, so in a way I've come to acceptance with parts of it.  But I suppose you could say I'm still bargaining back and forth with some of the after affects of the whole ordeal."

"Yeah, that totally makes sense.  I don't think it's bad or anything.  I just... wish you didn't have to be in pain anymore."  Harry looks back down at his shorts.

"Oh young Hazza.  Nothing will ever be as painful as the day that I got spurred by Jerry.  I'm quite fine and there's no reason for you to worry yourself."  Louis nudges Harry's shoulder.  "Well, what stage are you in then?"

Harry cocks his head at Louis.  "What?"

"When I said I was young and angry, you said you could relate to that.  You don't have to tell me if you don't want."  Louis shrugs.  "Just returning the question to you." 

"Oh, I didn't think you-" Harry shakes his head and smiles fondly at Louis.  "Um.  I've definitely accepted it by now.  I mean, to other people it sounds horrible and terrible, but it's not as hard for me to talk about and I don't really get emotional over it anymore.  So I suppose that's a sign that I'm over it, right?"

Louis shrugs again.  "Sure.  Only you can know when you're over something.  Doesn't mean the bad thing didn't happen.  Just means you've learned how to live with it."

Harry smiles brightly at that.  "I-"

"Harry Styles and Louis Fucking Tomlinson!"  Zayn yells.

Harry is off the counter before Louis can blink.  Louis hops down after him, abandoning the water bottle.  Harry is already by Zayn's side looking like he's about to have an anxiety attack and Louis moseys over.

"Yes, Zayn dear?"  Louis flutters his eyelashes and gives Zayn a big smile.

"I've been calling at you for the last two minutes.  Come here."  Zayn jerks his head to where he's standing.

"God, no need to get catty about it."  Louis stands next to Zayn and looks at the book where Zayn is pointing.  "What the fuck?"  Louis squints his eyes at the ink on the page.  "This isn't right."  He frantically thumbs back the pages in the platypus weight binder.  "Who weighed him?"  Louis demands from Zayn.

Zayn sighs.  "Brooke did-"

Louis interrupts.  "Well she did it wrong.  Why would you show me this if you didn't even double check it?"

"Mate, I triple checked it after she told me the weight.  I checked his tail-" Zayn says.

"No."  Louis argues.  "You didn't.  This isn't right.  Or the scale is broken.  When's the last time we changed the battery?"

"We changed it two weeks ago.  Brooke and I reweighed the other platypuses too and their weights are accurate."  Zayn reaches into his pocket.  "I'm going to call Derek-"

"No!  We don't need Derek.  You did it wrong.  God, I can't even trust you to take care something as simple as weighing platypodes."  Louis flips the binder shut.

Harry lowers his voice to Zayn, but Louis can hear him anyway.  "Who's Derek?"

"No one that you'll be meeting today."  Louis stalks over to the pond.  "Jerry buddy, come here."

Jerry happily swims over to the bank and trips over his webbed feet on the dirt.  He looks perfectly fine.  He's agile.  Louis' had him in his lap almost every day for God's sakes.  He would certainly know if Jerry had suddenly dropped his weight over the course of a week.

"Jerry, go weigh yourself."  Louis points to the scale and Jerry looks up at him.  "I'll give you a worm treat.  Or I can carry you.  Your choice."

Jerry waddles over to the scale and lays on it, wrapping his tail around himself to fit better. 

Zayn mutters under his breath.  "Fucking amazing."

Harry looks up at Zayn.  "What's amazing?"

"Just that Jerry listens to Louis.  Platypuses don't do that.  They're not dogs.  They're platypuses.  Yeah they emotionally bond, but not to this extent.  They're subject more to classical conditioning than anything."  Zayn shakes his head.

Harry hums.  Louis broods over the scale, checking everything to make sure that nothing will disturb it.  "Don't talk shit Zayn.  Platypodes are extremely intelligent creatures."  Louis presses the 'On' button and shoves the worry down his throat.

The number shows up bright and morbid like it may as well be Louis' death date.  Louis shakes his head and sits down to cross his legs.  "Brooke go get the batteries.  They're in the top drawer by the fridge."

"Louis-" Zayn tries.

"Shut up Zayn.  Come here Jerry."  Louis pats his lap and Jerry climbs up onto Louis' legs. 

Louis pets Jerry a few times and starts the inspection at his head.  He opens up Jerry's bill to see that his mouth is normal.  Eyes, ears, nose, feet, webbing, skin, and spurs are all intact and clear.  Louis' heart is beating as he closes his eyes and feels the outline of Jerry's body, pausing right behind the hind legs.  Yes, it maybe feels a little bit leaner, but nothing that would create an alarming number in the weight book.

Brooke turns the scale on again.  "New batteries are in.  Do you want it on before or after he gets on?"

"Let's do before this time."  Louis says.

"Lou, check his tail first.  You don't need to weigh him again."  Zayn says gently.

Harry looks panicked and is asking a thousand questions with his body language.  Brooke stands stiffly behind the scale.

Louis shakes his head at Zayn.  He taps the scale and Jerry waddles onto it.  The same reprehensible number pops up. 

"He's been eating meals.  We clean their pens every day.  He's fine.  He looks fine."  Louis stares at Jerry, who stares back at Louis.

Zayn sighs.  "He was two years old when we started Lou.  He's just-"

"He's fine!"  Louis picks up his platypus and gives him a handful of worm treats.

Jerry munches on them happily and when his hand is empty, Louis pets his back a few more times.  He takes a breath and closes his eyes as he trails his hands down to Jerry's tail. 

Louis feels like someone punched him in the gut.  Jerry's tail is just skin and fur.  There isn't any kind of fat to be found. 

Harry speaks up so softly that Louis hardly hears it from the ground.  "Why the tail?"

Zayn is too busy watching his worst nightmare unfold in front of his eyes to answer Harry, so Brooke does instead.  "That's where they keep over half their fat.  It's a routine procedure to feel their tails when you need to find out if they're healthy or not."  Brooke lets out barely above a whisper.

Louis stares at the wall straight ahead and offers Jerry more food from his hand. 

Zayn unpockets his phone and motions for Harry and Brooke to follow him.  Louis is alone on the ground.

An hour later and Louis is still in the same spot.  Platypus food long finished off, Jerry has fallen asleep in Louis' lap, with Louis' hand rested gently on his tail.

"Louis?"  Zayn speaks up behind him.

Louis cradles Jerry in his arms and stands up.  Jerry grunts softly from being awoken.  Louis turns around to see Derek Wells between Harry and Brooke.

Derek silently holds out a towel and asks permission from Louis. 

Louis shakes his head.  "He won't stay still in anyone's arms except mine.  You don't have to restrain him."

"Very well."  Derek sighs and sets his bag on the counter.  He shuffles through and pulls out a stethoscope.  Louis steps closer to Derek and angles Jerry towards him.  "Zayn tells me you've checked everything physically?" 

Louis nods.  "His body is just a little thinner than it used to be; and his tail..."

Derek puts the stethoscope to Jerry, and he fidgets in Louis' arms.  "Well his heart sounds normal."  He puts the stethoscope back into the bag then motions to Jerry's tail.  "May I?"

Louis stiffly nods.  Jerry fidgets when Derek kneads into his tail. 

"Shh, it's okay buddy.  Stay still."  Louis coos.

Jerry grunts then buries his head in the crook of Louis' arms.

"Louis, look..."  Derek looks from Louis to Zayn.  "How old did you say he is?"

"17."  Zayn says.

"He's just really old.  This is normal.  It seems like his body has been deteriorating for the last four or five days.  At the rapid rate that he's losing weight, he's- well, he's dying.  And I know you've been working here too long to not know that.  I don't know what to tell you Louis.  I'm sorry."  Derek sighs.  "Because of his age, we always have the option of euthena-"

Louis shakes his head.  "No."

"Louis."  Zayn reprimands.

"No, it's alright.  You are his handlers and can choose."  Derek fixes his glasses.  "Based off of what I've seen and what Zayn told me over the phone, today is probably his last day as an active and happy platypus.  The fat reserve is all but gone and next goes the fat that keeps him warm and the fat between his organs, before the body starts taking from the organs themselves.  He'll be in pain because his body is burning itself out faster than it can reproduce the cells.  I suspect he may make it to Tuesday if this is how it's been going."

"Can you come back tomorrow then?  Please?"  Louis asks.

"Of course.  What time works best?"  Derek pulls out his phone.

Louis leaves the room with Jerry to let Zayn finish the conversation.

~~~

 


	9. Chapter 8

 

A/N: Thank you for all the kindness and wonderful comments and support for this story so far.  You guys are incredible :).  Heads up, the next couple chapters are sad for a bit so just hang in there <3

Dedicated to Gabby for her lovely comment!

~~~

Louis is staring at his veggie burger and sweet potato fries and rubbing his temples. He has a raging headache, and has already taken two smoke breaks. Maybe he should have moderated his smoke intake a little better, but couple extra cigarettes shouldn't be affecting him this much he thinks.

He stares at his coffee and wonders if it will help his headache or make it worse. And Jerry is dying. He needs a blunt.

Fuck.

That's what he forgot. Saturday is pick-up day. He and Zayn are out of weed. He definitely needs a blunt before playing at the show tonight. He pulls out his phone to text Niall.

**Hey mate. Forgot about yesterday, sorry. You still have some left?**

He drinks his coffee.

"You okay?" Harry asks beside him.

"Headache." Louis says.

"Do you need some Naproxen?" Harry offers.

"No." Louis says. It's getting late in the afternoon and his overall well-being is declining. He could go for a nap if his head would stop pounding.

"Do you need to take another break?" Harry inquires.

"I need something stronger." Louis responds.

"You didn't go to Niall's yesterday, did you?" Zayn speaks up from across the table.

"I..." Louis massages his temples harder "...forgot."

Louis' phone buzzes next to him. He picks it up and reads Niall's response.

**I always keep some aside for u and Zaynie. Did you like last batch?**

Louis types out a reply.

**Yes. Fuckin fantastic. I'll actually take stronger if you have it.**

"S'all right mate. Need me to grab it later?" Zayn offers.

"No, I have time." Louis says.

Brooke rests a hand on Zayn's arm and Louis watches with an impassive face, but is curious how this will play out. Zayn hates public displays of affection, and he's always quick to let his current snogging partner know. So as far as Louis knows, this is a direct violation of Zayn's boundaries.

Brooke seems to be vying for unspoken attention that Zayn is clearly ignoring. He can see where Zayn was coming from the other night when he said Brooke was a forward girl. After a moment of Zayn continuing to eat without acknowledgement to Brooke, she nudges his shoulder.

"Hmm." Brooke purses her lips. "We should go do something before the show!" She clings to Zayn's arm and looks up at him.

"Brooke, please let go of me. There are children around." Zayn keeps his face steady.

Brooke turns a look of offense into one of seduction before releasing Zayn's arm. "Maybe we can go somewhere where there aren't any children... or restrictions..." She stands up and grabs her empty tray. Her chair screeches as she pushes it back. "I'll be waiting."

With that, she sways her hips and dumps her tray into the trash.

Louis' headache is pounding again. Zayn has his face in his hands and is rubbing his eyes. Louis speaks up. "Do you want me to go down there? One of us has to. The interns can't be alone with the platypodes..."

"I know, I know." Zayn sighs. "No, I should go talk to her. It's fine. Sorry about this. I hoped she'd chill out. I'll get it worked out though." Zayn picks up his empty tray and leaves the table.

Louis' phone vibrates. It's from Niall.

**Yeah I have stronger. But it will cost you extra :D**

Louis breathes a humorless laugh through his nose before replying.

**Such a philanthropist :P. I'll text you later when I'm on my way.**

"Who are you texting?" Harry asks.

Louis tiredly raises his head up from his phone.

"I-I mean, you don't have to tell me. Sorry. Was just curious." Harry looks away and pushes a spinach leaf around in his salad.

"My friend Niall." Louis says finitely.

Harry nods. They spend the rest of their lunch in silence.

~~~

"And that's about a pond full of platypai!" Zayn exclaims.

Louis' headache is in full swing. Jerry is dying. And Zayn is too energetic.

Harry squints his eyes. "What does that mean exactly?"

"It means you guys are done for the day!" Zayn throws a bag of shrimp treats into the refrigerator and slams the door shut. "You two can head out and Louis and I will finish up here!"

Harry and Brooke nod and punch out their time cards.

When it's just Zayn and Louis, Zayn puts a hand on Louis' shoulder. "Do you want me to call Blue Grounds? We can cancel."

"No. It's fine. I'll just come back after the show." Louis says.

Zayn rubs Louis' back up and down before retracting his hand. "Alright. Just make sure to get some sleep tonight, yeah?"

"I'll do my best." Louis says.

~~~

After Louis and Zayn finish up the chores in the Platitat, Louis finds himself on Niall's front porch.

Louis knocks and soon there's movement behind the giant wooden door. It swings open and Niall looks Louis up and down in assessment.

"Ya look like shit mate. Come in." Niall ushers.

Louis can't do more than nod and comply.

"What'll it be today? I have some vodka and gin." Niall offers.

"No. Thank you though. We're playing at Blue Grounds tonight." Louis sits on top of the barstools at the granite island. "I'll take a beer if you have it though."

"Sure." Niall opens the double doored refrigerators. "Let's see. You like imports yeah?"

It was obviously a rhetorical question because Louis has a beer on a coaster in front of himself seconds later. "Thanks." The cold glass shocks his lips when he takes the first drink.

"Need to talk about it? Or do you want me to leave you be?" Niall asks.

"My platypus is dying." Louis stares at the condensation on the bottle in front of him.

"That's fucking horrible mate. I'm so sorry." Niall sits next to him and opens a beer of his own.

"It's life though. Nothing is forever." Louis knows that Niall knows this. Anyone with a brain knows this; but there's something about saying it out loud that helps Louis feel like he has some say in the matter. Like, if he's the one declaring that the circle of life is inevitable, then it's okay.

Niall's optimism disagrees though. "Lots of things are forever. Like love and memories and whatnot."

Louis smiles sadly. "Those even have an expiration date Nialler."

Niall's eyes widen. "Shit Tommo. I'm sorry." He sighs. "Today is definitely not your day then."

"No worries mate. I've had better and I've had far worse." Louis takes another swig.

"Well, I'll go measure out your order. You sure you don't want to get enough for two or three weeks? You wouldn't have to come as often." Niall offers.

"Nah. Carrying any more than I already do would be too risky and Zayn would have an aneurysm. If I ever get caught, I want out of jail before I go senile." Louis takes a drink, then tacks on an afterthought. "But I suppose it wouldn't matter much after that point anyway."

"Right. I'll be right back then." Niall leaves with his drink and Louis is alone in the kitchen.

Louis grabs a napkin to wipe up water that leaked over the coaster onto the dark granite. He nurses his beer and stares at Niall's kitchen. Still the same, fancy, kitchen it's always been. With dark cherry wood floors and mahogany cabinets, the spotless stainless steel appliances make the already big kitchen feel even larger than it already is.

Except the house is quieter than normal. Barbie must be out with the Pomeranians and Chihuahua.

He's alone. So alone.

Niall returns nine minutes later and Louis has the crown molding pattern memorized. "Did you have that commissioned?" Louis points to where the wall meets the ceiling.

Niall grins. "I did. It's mine and Barbie's pride and joy. Spent a week getting the design just right with the contractor."

"I like it." Louis states.

"Thanks! Here's your order. Card again?" Niall asks.

"Yep, thanks." Louis fishes out his wallet and hands the debit card to Niall. "Barbie out with the children today?"

Niall swipes the card on his iPad. "Yep. Day at the spa for the four of them. They're all getting matching pink pedis, but I told her Beansie has to have a masculine color. He'll be the odd man out with me."

Louis laughs. "So you're getting blue nail polish on your toes later?"

"No you cunt." Niall smacks the side of Louis' head fondly. "Here's your card back."

"Thanks." Louis abandons his finished beer and pockets the weed. "See you next week."

Niall gives him a tight hug. "See ya. Sorry about your kid. Let me know if you need anything."

Louis sighs. "Yeah. Thanks for being a mate."

"Anytime. Have a good show tonight." Niall gets the door for Louis and Louis waves goodbye.

~~~

The show goes well and Zayn sings with the voice of an angel as always. Louis lets out some steam by getting fully engrossed in his guitar playing. The crowd is kind as always.

Louis is sitting at the bar with his third empty glass of tonic and gin, Brooke and Zayn snogging in the seats next to him. "Not that I care, but do you want me to grab a booth for you two? Or stand guard by the bathroom if you're not going to make it back to the flat?"

Zayn pulls away only enough to reply, but it comes out as a mumble since Brooke has his bottom lip between her teeth. "Good idea actually... Just-" Zayn cuts himself off by growling at Brooke. An actual and very literal growl and Louis buries his hands in his face.

There's some stumbling and the scuffle of shoes on the wooden floor, then the hinge of the bathroom door squeaking open, and lastly, the sound of the deadbolt locking the door.

"Oh my God." Louis says to the beer stains on the bar counter.

"Did it get a bit hotter in here, or is it just me?" A voice directs to Louis.

Louis snaps his head up to the brunette behind the bar. Louis recognizes him as the new bartender from last week. "Definitely hotter." Louis feels his cheeks flush lightly at the admittance. "Ehrm, sorry about my friend. I promise he won't be long. If he's desperate enough to do it in public, it's usually a quick event."

The bartender laughs and waves a hand dismissively. "No worries mate. Zayn can take his time. He's a great lad."

Louis is submerged with confusion for a minute before he remembers that Zayn spent a good portion of last Sunday night trying to woo this particular man. "Right. Sorry, what was your name again?"

The brunette outstretches a hand for Louis to shake. "Liam Payne."

Louis shakes his hand. "Louis Tomlinson."

"Nice to meet you Louis. You two did great the last two weeks. I really enjoy your music." Liam says.

"Thanks. We don't normally perform two Sundays in a row, but Victor said your other band cancelled last minute." Louis says.

"Yeah, they did." Liam lowers his voice to a stage whisper. "Honestly you guys are better than the ones who cancelled anyway."

Louis laughs at that, glad that the alcohol relieves some of the pain for a little while.

"So Zayn is your bandmate then?" Liam looks at Louis with big brown eyes while drying off a glass with a cloth.

"Zayn's actually my roomie too. More a brother than anything, but you get the idea." Louis says.

Liam nods thoughtfully. "He seems like a really genuine guy. We talked for quite a while last week. I didn't realize he was... involved though."

"Oh he's not... involved." Louis responds quickly. However, his statement is quickly undermined by a particularly loud moan that comes from the bathroom, followed by a slam against a metal bathroom stall.

Liam's eyes widen a bit and he nods slowly at Louis. "Yeah. Okay."

Louis clears his throat. "So are you?" Liam gives Louis a confused look. "Um, involved?" Louis finishes.

"Oh." Liam shakes his head. "No. I uh... No. Not technically. Or hypothetically. Or anything."

"So, single and ready to mingle then?" Louis wiggles his eyebrows. He likes Liam. He reminds Louis a little bit of Harry with the happy-go-lucky demeanor.

Only it would seem that Liam took Louis' comment the wrong way, as his whole neck turns bright red and he drops the glass. Liam mumbles out a swear then bends down to pick up the pieces with his cloth.

He trashes the dismantled glass and places both hands on the bar to face Louis. "Louis, I'm so- uh, so flattered. I just um, am not... Well, you're not really my type. I'm so sorry. I mean, I have a gay friend and everything so I'm not homophobic or anything, I just- oh God-" Liam drops his head in defeat.

Louis laughs so hard that his stomach cramps up. Liam is looking at him like he missed the punchline.  Louis is still laughing and sheds a tear in the process. His abs protest at the stream of laughs still forcing themselves out and more tears escape his eyes, and fuck. Louis' laughs turn into sobs and the tears are streaming down his face without any mercy.

There's a warm arm wrapped around his shoulder and Liam starts babbling next to him. "I'm so sorry Louis. I didn't mean to offend you, I'm so- I just, I mean, you seem like a nice enough guy and you're friends with an awesome guy. I don't... Well, I mean, I guess it's crossed my mind and I've experimented before, so if you want-"

Louis' sobs turn into laughs again and he rests his head into Liam's shoulder because it's there. Liam cradles Louis' head with his other hand. "It's okay. You don't have to cry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Louis forces words out of his mouth. "It's not you, it's me-" Louis chokes out a laugh at what he just said, but carries on. "My platypus is dying. I wasn't hitting on you. I'm sorry."

"Your... platypus?" Liam is so confused, but hugs Louis tighter. "I'm so sorry mate. It will be okay."

Louis cries into the shoulder of Liam the Bartender whom he just properly met 10 minutes ago. "S'alright. It's the circle of life, you know? Jerry will... he'll be going to a better place."

Liam rubs a hand up and down Louis' back. "Yeah. He'll be happier. He won't be in pain anymore. He can er, swim with the other platypuses in heaven."

"It's platypodes." Louis wails.

"Platypodes!" Liam quickly corrects himself. "He will swim and play with the other uh, platypodes in platypus heaven. Bright blue water where he can play all day."

"They like murky water 'cause it's better camouflage, and they're only diurnal at the zoo. They'll probably be nocturnal in heaven because they'll live like proper platypodes." Louis says between sobs.

Liam nods against the side of his head. "Yes. Jerry will play in the moonlight of the murky water then. With all his platypus friends."

Louis sniffles. "Yeah, he will, won't he?"

Liam pulls Louis back by the shoulder to look him in the eye. "He will. He'll be so happy."

A salty tear makes its way onto Louis' parted lips. "Yeah. I know." Louis nods to himself. "I know. He's still my best friend though."

Liam smiles. "He'll live on forever in your heart. So he'll still be with you, even though he'll be far away."

Louis laughs through a sniffle. "Yeah. For as long as I can hold on to him, I'll do it."

Liam rubs him on the shoulder. "Well, can I get you another drink?"

Louis wipes underneath his nose. "No. I need to get going. It's my last night with him."

Liam nods and gives Louis his space again. "Right. Well I hope it's a special one then. Peace be with you."

Louis smiles tightly and wipes the remaining tears off his face. "Thanks Liam. Sorry about..." Louis makes circular motions in the air with his hand, "all this."

"Don't even worry about it." Liam offers a last smile, and Louis leaves Blue Grounds.

~~~

 


	10. Chapter 9

Please read authors note at the end <3

Rest in peace Jerry.

Dedicated to footielouie :)

~~~

It's 11:30 at night when Louis opens the door to the Platitat. He loves coming to the zoo at night time. Everything is peaceful and silent. All there is to feel is the energy coming from the animals.

He tosses his sleeping bag and pillow onto his brown lawn chair and hooks up the extension cord to his phone charger. He locks himself in and grabs the bag of dried worms. He can hear shuffling in one of the pens and walks over to let Jerry out. Jerry grunts before diving into the water, then surfaces to waddle over to Louis' lawn chair.

"You ready for a midnight slumber party with me buddy?" Louis coos.

Jerry grunts in response and waits for Louis to join him. Louis plops down on the chair to settle into his sleeping bag. When he gets himself situated, he leans down to get Jerry from the ground and sets him on his lap. Jerry circles a few times before snuggling in and laying his head on his tail.

Louis takes a deep breath and mindlessly pets Jerry. There's the sound of the rippling pond water and crickets. It's not the first time Louis' stayed the night in the platypus habitat, and he knows it won't be the last.

The last time he had stayed the night was when Winston was sick and he and Zayn camped out on their lawn chairs. They had to administer medicine to Winston every two hours for two days. Unfortunately, Winston didn't take to the medicine too well, so it required both of them to be hands-on the whole time. That was an exhausting two days.

Louis fishes out a handful of dry worms and sets a cupped palm in front of Jerry's bill for him to nibble on. "Did you know that they give inmates on death row the last meal of their choice before they die? Well, I'm sorry I don't have something more delicious to give you. I would give you cheesecake but I'm pretty sure you would probably end up hating it. I know you loved the quinoa salad I brought to work a few months ago, but I didn't have enough time tonight to make it for you, otherwise I would have. So, you have dried worms for your last meal. I'm sorry it's not more."

Jerry finishes off the handful and lays his head back down. Louis dusts the dried worm remains off his hand and prepares a blunt, then lights it once it's between his teeth.

"You don't even know you're dying tomorrow, do you?" Louis blows smoke up into the air then looks down at Jerry. "Would you be acting any different if you did know? Probably not because animals are smarter than humans. Humans panic when life ends. Animals are wiser than that. They know."

Louis pats Jerry's back. "They know it's all just part of the circle of life."

"You know, I probably shouldn't be as familiar with the five stages of grief as I am. It would make sense if I knew how to deal with it better, but I still don't. So why do I keep getting put through shit? If I haven't learned it by now, I don't think I ever will."

Louis smokes some more, making sure to not breathe it on Jerry. "I could breathe my smoke on you if you wanted. You could get high with me your last night. You'll be gone tomorrow anyway." Louis inhales another drag.

"Are you in pain? You're not acting like you're in pain. If you were, I'd definitely share my blunt with you. You're the last animal on the planet that deserves to be put through pain." Louis strokes Jerry with his free hand.

"I'm in pain. I'm numb though. The weed helps me stay numb. It's nice, you know? It makes the pain go away for a while, and sometimes I need that." He blows smoke rings into the sky. He can see a small sliver of the stars from where he's seated.

The Southern Cross always pops out to him first. It was the first constellation he learned about in primary school. After that, his eyes always searched for Centaurus. Passed that, he was never able to decipher the other constellations. Maybe he'll embark on astrology after he finishes his book on German.

But first, he has to make it through tonight.

"I think I've gone through denial already. For me, denial usually passes the quickest. But it can be tricky because coming out of it can feel an awful lot like acceptance. Then you end up randomly bawling on a bartender's shoulder because you've moved on from denial to depression.

"Depression is always the saddest part for me. It's the most intangible, you know? But it leaves you feeling the most helpless. Leaves you feeling... confused as to why you're doing what you're doing, regardless of if it's meaningful or not. Like right now. Does it really matter that I'm here with you?"

Jerry grunts. Louis smokes off the rest of his blunt and discards it into the ashtray.

He ruffles the fur on Jerry's head. "I know, I know. Animals always know. And I wish I had done things differently when my dad passed. Even though he didn't know, he did at the same time, ya know? This is like my chance to do it again and maybe not be so hard on myself. I think it was bargaining over what I could have done different that made me feel the worst about myself when it came to him. I still wish I had acted different. But how was I supposed to know? What teenager is properly equipped to deal with their dad dying when their mom isn't even there to help them?

"So that just leaves anger and acceptance then. Which means I just smoke my way through the next week or two and everything should be good. I'll be happy for you and I'll make myself believe that you're happy without me..."

"You were always there for me even when they weren't." Louis stops as a tear escapes his eye. He exhales to try and release the knot in the back of his throat. He leans forward, pillow slipping between his back and the chair, and snuggles Jerry tight to him.

"I love you so much Jerry. Thank you for everything you helped me through. Even when I don't remember, I swear I'll always keep you in my heart." Jerry just lays his head into the crook of Louis' arm and Louis sobs quietly to himself.

Tears fall from Louis' face onto Jerry, and when a puddle forms on Jerry's back, he shakes his fur, plastering Louis' tears back onto his face, and Louis laughs through his cries. Louis fixes his pillow behind his neck and lies back again and wipes his face off with the back of his arm.

"Sorry. I'll stop sobbing on you now. You deserve a good night's sleep and happiness. I'll be happy for you." Louis smiles sadly at his furry best friend and Jerry seems to purr out a breath before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

Louis is left with nothing but his memories that flash through his mind like his life flashing before his eyes, because as far as he can remember, Jerry has been there for over half of it. Jerry's been there for longer than his parents now.

His body starts to quiver again and sniffles turn into audible sobs. He buries his face into his pillow until the whole side is soaked and he cries himself to sleep.

~~~

Louis wakes up at 6:30 when the sun is rising and his phone is vibrating. 'Zaynie' is flashing in bold letters across his screen and he slides a finger across to answer.

"'Ello?" Louis' voice cracks.

"Didn't hear from you last night and wanted to check in." Zayn says.

Louis untangles a hand from his sleeping bag and wipes the sleep from his eyes. "'M just here at the Platitat. Sorry I forgot to text you."

"It's fine. Have you eaten since yesterday?" Zayn asks.

Louis lifts his head up to take in his surroundings, then plops it back down into the pillow. "No... 'm not hungry." Jerry lifts his head at the disturbance, then lays it back down.

"Louis, don't make me do this with you again." Zayn's voice sounds more on the edge of pleading rather than irritation. "If you don't eat, I'm calling Conner and we won't let you work."

Louis furrows his eyebrows and sits up. "You can't do that. Don't Zayn. Please."

"I can and I will. Now, Harry's been texting me all night and morning because he's worried sick about you and wants to do something nice, so I'm going to tell him he can bring breakfast for you. You can either eat it and stay, or keep starving yourself and go home." Zayn threatens.

"Shit, fine. I'm going back to sleep until you get here though, otherwise I'll be stoned before breakfast." Louis yawns again.

"If it gives you an appetite, then I'm fine with that. Wouldn't be the first time you've been baked at work." Zayn says.

"Thank you and love you." Louis flips his pillow then snuggles into it again.

"I love you Louis, please be good to yourself." Zayn says.

"I said I'd eat. See you soon." Louis mumbles out.

Zayn says goodbye, and Louis opens up his text messages. There are four from Zayn and one from Harry.

**Haven't heard from you yet.. You at the Platitat?**

**Louis, are you okay?**

**It's 2am and I still haven't heard from you...**

**If you don't answer in five minutes, I'm calling.**

Then Harry's was sent last night.

**I'm so sorry about Jerry. You are both in my prayers.**

He sets his phone off to the side and figures he'll just talk to Harry when he gets here. His whole body is aching with exhaustion, so he closes his eyes and drifts back to sleep.

~~~

Louis feels a light breath tickling his face and a soft hand on his shoulder. He squints as his blurry vision becomes clearer. He finally makes out that Harry is crouched down by his side and green eyes are scanning his face.

Neither of them say anything for a moment; Louis not sure how, when, or why Harry is waking him up, and Harry seemingly not wanting to say the wrong thing.

Harry seems to have decided on going for something simple. "Morning."

Louis turns his face so he's not breathing on Harry, and looks up at the sliver of blue sky peeking out. "Morning."

"Zayn said I should come wake you up." Harry speaks softly like he's trying not to set Louis off.

"What time is it?" Louis looks to see Jerry still asleep on his lap, and carefully stretches out his stiff limbs.

"It's 9am." Harry says.

"Shit, you guys have been here for an hour letting me sleep? Is Brooke here?" Louis looks around self-consciously.

"Zayn told her to take the day off. It's okay, it's just been us two and all the platypodes are fed and out already." Harry points to the pond where they were all swimming around. "I uh, brought you breakfast if you're hungry."

Zayn walks over to them. "Doesn't matter if he's hungry or not. He's eating if he wants to work today."

Harry cocks his head up at Zayn. "Work?" His eyes dart to Louis. "Why don't you take the day off?"

"I don't need to." Louis answers immediately then reaches to pick up Jerry. Jerry grunts angrily from being awoken and scrambles to stay on Louis' sleeping bag. Louis lets go and sighs. "Nobody touch Jerry."

Louis frowns to himself then slowly slips his legs out and Zayn and Harry help him up so the lawn chair doesn't collapse. Louis soothes out his sweatpants and hoodie and a waterfall of dried worms comes tumbling from his clothes. He pulls the hoodie and his shirt over his head to shake it out and notices Harry's eyes have increased to twice their normal size.

Louis blushes, at Harry's reaction and reactively tightens his stomach and turns around. "Er, Harry, could you go grab a uniform shirt? There's some spare ones on the far side of the fridge."

Louis doesn't hear an affirmative or not, but assumes Harry has left.

Zayn is looking at him in amusement. "Didn't realize we'd be getting a strip tease first thing this morning. Would've come with more notes."

"Shut up." Louis dismisses. "Do I uh- should I like, start working out?" Louis mumbles to Zayn.

Zayn smiles and claps Louis on the shoulder. "You look fine mate. I'd still do you, and I know Harry would too."

Louis lifts an eyebrow and is about to retort, but Harry has returned with a shirt in hand and his gaze fixed at the ground. Louis takes the shirt from him and threads his arms through. "Thank you."

Harry's head is still angled downward, but his eyes flick up and down Louis' body as he's buttoning up the shirt. "You're welcome."

Louis watches Harry watch him from the corner of their eyes; it's a little awkward, and it has Louis fumbling with his buttons, taking him twice as long to get his shirt done properly.

Zayn pities them both and clears his throat. "Louis you should fix your fringe mate. You've got some..." He steps closer and starts pulling an assortment of dried worms and shrimp from Louis' hair.

Louis bats his hand away and runs hands through his hair. It's plastered to his face and rather greasy, he thinks probably from the vast amount of last night's salty tears dried into it. More dust flakes off and Louis huffs in defeat and walks over to kneel down and dunk his head in the pond.

The water is freezing, but it also effectively wakes Louis up even more and clears out his head. He keeps his head tipped upside down and shakes the water out, then rings out the longer strands that he can manage to bunch up. Once he's strained it as much as he can, he flips his hair back over and runs his fingers through it several times. There's a small water spot that's growing at the back of his neck, but it will dry soon enough.

He wipes away some of the water that trails down his face and ignores the shock emulating from Harry. Louis walks passed him and opens his bag to get out his pack of cigarettes.

"So did you want to go home today, or...?" Zayn is behind him.

Louis shoves a stick into his mouth. "I'm just having one. I'll eat after."

Zayn snatches it from between his lips. "You'll eat first."

Louis' jaw clenches reflexively and he flings his cigarette pack onto the counter next to a suspicious cooler that has definitely never been there before. He turns to Harry. "Is that yours?"

Harry looks like he's just been asked if he took the last cookie from the cookie jar. "Er- it's uh, your breakfast." Harry almost whispers the last word.

Louis sighs and lets his attitude deflate a bit. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Harry responds back with a cautious smile. "I made it myself... I hope you like it. It's a berry crepe."

"You made it? I thought you had maids for that?" It's out of Louis' mouth before he can take it back, and he wants to slam his head in the refrigerator door.

Before he can do anything though, Harry gives a quick glance to Zayn and mumbles something about going to clean the platypus pens.

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose and is embarrassed at the constricting of his throat and tears pricking his eyes. Zayn wraps his arms around Louis and Louis lets out a restrained sob. "I-I'm such a fuck up. I'm s-so sick of crying Zayn. I'm just-"

Zayn shushes him. "Lou it's okay babe. You need to cry, it's okay. Harry will be fine. I'll go talk to him, I'm sure he understands." Zayn pulls away to wipe tears from Louis' eyes with his thumbs. "Change into your work shorts, eat some breakfast, smoke a few and roll one if you need it, then get ready for Derek. He'll be here in less than an hour. Okay?"

Louis nods back at Zayn and sniffles. "I'll be fine. I'm okay."

"I know you are." Zayn kisses Louis' cheek before leaving him in peace.

~~~

Z

Harry has on latex gloves and has a small shovel in his hand. He's crouched over the platypus pens and shoveling platypus shit a little too forcefully into a trash bag, and Zayn is glad he added two extra shots to his coffee this morning.

Zayn grabs another shovel and opens up the pen next to Harry and copies his actions.

Harry speaks at the ground. "I don't need you to help. I can do it."

"I know you can, but I'm already here aren't I?" Zayn says simply.

"I mean I know you're trying to be nice to me, but you don't have to be. I know you're not a morning person. You can go help Louis or... or just ignore me, or whatever." Harry loosens his grip on the shovel and it clatters on the cement.

"Louis needs some time to himself. He'll be okay in a bit. He didn't mean to be mean. He's just... sad." Zayn says dumbly.

It always makes more sense in his head, but saying it out loud to someone else who doesn't know Louis as well as himself sounds a bit ridiculous. Though, Zayn thinks Harry is understanding enough to know where he's coming from. Or at least he hopes so.

Zayn is just glad he went with his gut and had Brooke take today off. Babysitting two interns and a best friend would be more than he could handle right now. Not that Louis would ever admit to allowing himself to be babysat of course.

Harry runs a latex gloved hand through his fringe, leaving a streak of white in it's wake. "No, I know. It's fine. I have no right to be upset. I mean, I know Louis is going through stuff already, and then this on top of it. I just don't think it's fair, you know? Like, why Louis? What did he ever do to deserve to be sad so much?"

Zayn continues working as he explains to Harry. "Life isn't fair Harry. Why Louis has had horrible tragedies in his life, I will never know. I don't know why I have loving parents, sisters, and a best friend whom I consider a brother and Louis has only me and a platypus that is dying. Life is just shit. If you don't know that by now, you're in for a big surprise."

Harry shakes his head. "No, I know shit happens. I've had some shitty things happen. I just don't get why Louis gets kicked while he's down. I don't think it's very fair of God."

Zayn hums to himself. "Allah puts us through trials so we may become stronger. Louis is strong and will only grow from the pain. We just need to be there to support him through it."

Harry picks up his shovel and moves to the next pen to clean it. "I just wish... I wish I could take the pain away, you know? Like take the hurt away and hurt for him so he didn't have to suffer any more. Does that sound stupid?"

"I've wished the same thing many times Harry." Zayn shakes his head. "But he'll pull himself out of it. In the meantime, don't stress yourself over it. Don't push too hard or he'll withdraw."

A part of Zayn feels bad for disclosing information that has taken Zayn years to discover. But on the other hand, it's not doing any damage to anyone and will prevent any petty miscommunications between the three of them. It's better to have Harry on the same page than in the dark.

It's not that Zayn is one to meddle... he simply likes to help things along sometimes. And sometimes 'helping things along' means disclosing information.

Harry's a smart and intuitive guy as far as Zayn can tell. According to his predictions, he and Louis are only at the beginning of whatever their relationship will become. Which, if Zayn were to bet money on, will probably end in Louis falling helplessly in love.  Louis doesn't see it yet, and certainly won't for a long time.  But Zayn can see it.

Since Mark, Harry is the person Louis has truly shown interest in, and though they may be slow to start, Louis is not pressing the brake pedals on his and Harry's relationship which is a good sign so far.  Zayn would hate to see that get soiled because of a silly miscommunication.

"Is there anything I can do for him?" Harry asks.

Zayn sets his shovel down. "I don't know if you've ever lost anyone before Harry, but I'm going to assume that you haven't..."

Harry shakes his head to affirm, and Zayn continues on. "This isn't the first time Louis has grieved over death before. Last time it happened, he had dozens of people coming to him saying the same thing over and over. It was always, 'Is there anything I can do for you?', 'Let me know if you need anything.', 'I'm here if you need anyone to talk to.', and the words even became numb to my ears. What I did figure out is instead of saying things, do things. Don't ask, just do. Now it doesn't have to be any grandiose things. He lived with me, so I was able to do things like help him with his laundry or, I dunno, sit and smoke with him. Conner made him an ice cream pie once and hugged him. The point is, really little things will mean everything to him. If he wants to talk, he'll talk. If he wants to ask for help, he will- well, he actually won't..." Zayn laughs to himself. "But do you see the point I'm trying to make?"

Harry nods. "I think I do. A little foreign of a concept because it's easier to do things that are asked of you, ya know? I'm just worried about like, crossing boundaries and whatnot."

"Yeah, for sure." Zayn agrees. "Just... put yourself in his position and it should help give you a good idea of what's okay and what's not."

Harry seems deep in thought for a minute before nodding to himself.

"Hang on, you've got shit in your hair." Zayn dips his fingers in the pond, then pulls out the curl that Harry dirtied.  He rubs it between his fingers until it goes back to it's normal brunette color and Zayn rinses off his fingers again.

Harry is blushing and the corners of Zayn's lips tug into a smile.

Zayn sees Louis emerge and sit next to his lounge chair, stroking Jerry. Jerry is definitely acting sick, and if they hadn't caught it during weights yesterday, it would be obvious today. He hears shuffling in the prep room, and assumes Derek is here.

Though Zayn is a fully licensed veterinarian, putting down Jerry is something much too personal for him to ever even think about doing. When he was still in school, he interned with Derek and grew close to him. Zayn trusts Derek and is glad he's the wildlife vet for times like these.

Zayn sets down the shovel. "I think it's time."

Harry dismally pulls of his latex gloves and follows Zayn over to Louis.

Zayn rests a hand on Louis' shoulder. "Can he move at all?"

Louis nods stiffly. "I think it hurts him though. Derek said I can hold him. It's just... It's just a shot, and then he'll be gone."

Zayn grabs Louis' hoodie that was discarded earlier and hands it to him. "You'll need something to wrap his body with for afterwards, unless you want a towel."

"No, this is fine. This is good." Louis takes it from Zayn and wraps it around Jerry. Jerry grunts at being moved and Louis whispers as he cradles him into his arms.

Harry stands painfully silent next to him, and Zayn feels for him.

They follow Louis into the prep room and Jerry's breathing has labored slightly. Derek gives a warm hello to Harry and Zayn and turns to his bag to extract a vial and syringe. Zayn watches as he preps the medicine and Harry looks like he might cry.

Derek sets the filled syringe to the side. "Louis just let me know when you're ready."

Louis looks to Harry, offering for him to say goodbye.

Harry looks around nervously and then steps forward to Jerry. "Hey Jerry, I haven't known you very long, but I know without a doubt that you are the best platypus to ever waddle on the earth. Thank you for being Louis' best friend and for letting me learn from you. Rest in peace and happiness in platypus heaven." Harry strokes Jerry's back once then steps back.

Louis looks to Zayn.

Zayn steps forward and leans down to Jerry's level in Louis' arms. "Thank you for beating some sense into Louis all those years ago and being there for him every day since. You've been stuck with myself and him for much too long. You deserve some god damned peace and happiness all to yourself now. Go frolic in some ponds and lounge about all day. Love you buddy." Zayn gives him a small rub on the head and steps back.

Louis has silent tears streaking his face and nuzzles into Jerry, giving him a kiss on the head, mumbling his last few words to him and Jerry replies back with a series of grunts. Harry sniffles beside him, and Zayn looks up to the ceiling to keep himself from getting emotional. Zayn takes a deep breath to keep himself stoic and waits for Louis to nod to Derek.

Derek picks up the syringe with gloved hands and holds one of Jerry's feet. Derek looks at Louis. "I'm just going to push the medicine in, and it will take about 20 seconds for it to get through his system. He'll close his eyes just like he's going to sleep. Since you're holding him, you'll feel his muscles relax, and that's when his spirit leaves his body and he'll be gone."

Harry is covering his nose, sobbing into his hand and Louis is crying silently. Fuck, Zayn wishes this didn't have to be happening right now. Harry has one of the most sensitive souls he's ever known and Louis close behind. There isn't much he can do, but he does wrap an arm around Harry's waist and Harry instantly crumbles into his shoulder.

Louis finally makes eye contact with Derek. "Okay."

Derek nods and rubs a thumb against Jerry's fur for a moment before pricking the skin with the needle. The end of the syringe gets pushed and the liquid slowly empties into Jerry. Derek removes the needle and wraps gauze and blue coban around Jerry's leg.

20 seconds pass like five minutes and Jerry's eyes flutter shut. Zayn can hear Jerry's labored breaths go shallow and then stop altogether, then finally his body relaxes completely into Louis' arms.

Derek uses his stethoscope to listen as Jerry's heart stops, then puts his things away and opens up a pretty box that he brought to transport Jerry in. Louis drops his head into Jerry's fur one last time and then holds him out to Derek, still wrapped in his hoodie. Derek gently takes Jerry from him and sets him in the box.

Zayn steps away from Harry to set a hand on Derek's shoulder and thank him. Derek nods and Zayn walks him to the door. "Conner's still out of town, so I'll call you later to get the rest of things sorted out."

Derek nods. "Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you Derek. Have a good day." Zayn holds the door open for him.

Once Derek leaves, Zayn about faces to Louis who has his arms wrapped around himself, reminding Zayn of when they were 15 together. Zayn strides up to him and engulfs him in a hug. "I'm going to go set up for the show okay love? Take your time." Zayn gives him another kiss on the cheek and steps away.

This seems to break the barrier for Harry and Louis because they attach like magnets and cling to each other for dear life. He's not sure who is crying harder, but he knows both of their shoulders will be soaked in a matter of seconds.

Zayn is happy that they have each other right now. He leaves them to spend the rest of their intimate moment together.

~~~

A/N: <3 <3

Do you guys want a double or triple update this weekend? Here's how you make it happen:

Fading Zen has been nominated for the Up and Coming Larry category for the Bromance Awards on Wattpad and if you enjoyed the story, it would mean the world to me if you voted for it!

Vote on google docs: <https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1IZtb3jyrgfNlKjzYcADEcQQi8gKJ9i1AL4FHqstpyPU/viewform>

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Loves and hugs!! Thank you guys xoxoxo

 


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you for all the votes on Fading Zen. I'm at 7 so far... 3 more and I'll update again :)

Dedicated to EnkeliJaPerkele for her comment and to Gabby for wishing me luck! 

Song in the chapter: 

 

Youtube Playlist: <https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkIrAVgIXmwMVqNbrm8RTXrUL9CVpH__L>

Twitter: @[LemonSuccubus](http://www.twitter.com/LemonSuccubus) or my personal, @[dannieybarra](http://www.twitter.com/dannieybarra)

~~~

L

They're sitting at a lunch table outside, Louis with a jacket over his uniform so he can smoke between nibbling on his salad.

"Louis, you have to eat more than just a salad."  Zayn reprimands.

"I had a fantastic and very filling crepe this morning thanks to Harry, so I am still satiated from that.  I'll be fine.  It's just one salad."  Louis dismisses. 

His eyes aren't bright red from crying anymore, but instead from the smoke that's drying them out.  After he and Harry had finished crying, Louis smoked until he was calm enough to present for their 11:30 show and has been amicable ever since.  Harry however, has been very somber; so much that Zayn had him sit out the morning presentation.

Louis nudges Harry.  "Thank you by the way for the crepe.  I'm sorry about this morning.  I was just very pleasantly surprised that you cook, it just came out completely wrong."

"'S okay."  Harry pokes at his salad.

Louis holds his cigarette out for Harry.  "Do you want a smoke?"

Harry snaps his head out of his trance and raises his eyebrows at Louis.  "Sorry?"

"Would you like to share my cigarette with me?"  He annunciates.  "You look quite down and nicotine is a good upper."  A smirk pulls at the tips of Louis' lip. 

He didn't realize taunting Harry would be so humorous. 

Wait...

Harry stares at the cigarette like it might explode in his face.  "I- I don't smoke.  Thank you though... for offering."

Louis sticks the butt back between his teeth to shove all the snide comments down his throat, then lets them out with a puff of smoke.  He may be getting a little over-wired and insensitive. 

Fuck. Afternoons mixed with too much smoking and his platypus dying.  Never a good combination.

Louis closes his eyes to focus on inhaling and exhaling the poison over and over again until the only thing left is the small filter left between his lips.  He tosses it to the ground to put out the cherry then walks over to discard it in an astray.

He has his mouth around another stick to pull out of his pack when one of the metal chairs screeches against the concrete and Victoria's Secret overtakes his senses.  He squeezes his eyes shut to prepare for what comes next.

"You know you're not supposed to be smoking during work hours; and in front of kids no less."  Vanessa sneers next to him.

Zayn leans forward.  "Not a good day for this Vanessa.  He's wearing a jacket over his uniform, he's fine.  I suggest you move along."

"Oh so he smokes up the whole patio and it's supposed to be okay with the rest of us?"  Vanessa adjusts her Eco Explorer vest and nametag.

"Hey, we're over here in the corner and we're outside.  That seat is taken anyway."  Harry speaks up. 

Louis lights his cigarette.

Vanessa eyes the three of them.  "Didn't take Harry long to become a little guard dog for you two.  I'm sure he's all bark and no bite."  She fixes her hair behind her shoulder.  "You guys are so drab today though, God.  Who died?"

Zayn puts his face in his hand and Harry sits up at a 90 degree angle.

Louis smiles through the careless anger that makes his skin bubble and blows a long drag on Vanessa's face.  "You should definitely leave, please."

Vanessa snorts.  "Or what?"

Louis scoots his chair back and leaves without a word to any of them.  Fuck Vanessa, fuck Jerry, and fuck his stupid life.  It's not worth it to get worked up over any of it.  Everyone is a twat and life is shit.  His life has always been a joke.  A large middle finger in his face every time he wakes up alive every day. 

He yanks the door to the Platitat open and grabs his keys.  He stops to stare at the stainless steel in front of him and swings the key ring around his finger several times.  He puts his cigarette out in the ashtray.  What are his options?

He could leave work, and that would leave Zayn and Harry to do the 3pm presentation.  Not the worst case scenario, but not ideal either. 

What would he do anyway?  Offing himself isn't an option this time around. 

Get shit faced at 1 in the afternoon?  He's sure Liam wouldn't judge. 

That's the whole point of him working all the time, is to give him something to let off the steam.  Work has always been his outlet.  Jerry has always been his outlet.  Mother fucking Jerry, the asshole.  Becoming so dependent on an animal for the last 15 years is absolutely ridiculous.  So dependent that he's standing here talking himself down from getting black out drunk at 1 in the afternoon. 

Fucking wonderful.  This is truly the pinnacle of Louis' Tomlinson's life.  The testament to his character. 

Louis laughs at himself.  Laughs at the deplorable life that belongs to him.  Laughs about the fact that he'll die alone.  So fucking alone.

But this is his life.  His past is the past and it's never going to change.  His present is a direct parallel to his past; and his future has already been mapped out because it's the exact same as his present.

This is his present.  Smoke, work, grieve.  Smoke, work, grieve.  Repeat.  This is his future.

He laughs because in reality nothing has changed.  He's the same person yesterday as he is today.  It doesn't matter who dies or what happens.  Louis is still the same.

So he laughs because it doesn't make a difference.

Zayn comes through the door and Louis tosses his keys at Zayn.  "It's funny Zayn, isn't it?  It's all just really hilarious?"

Zayn fumbles to catch the keys and then shoves them back in the drawer.  "No Louis.  It's not funny."

Louis nods emphatically.  "It's funny.  Because if it's not funny, then what is it?"

"It's sad Louis."  Zayn picks up Louis' hand.

"No, because I've already been sad.  I'm done being sad."  Louis argues.

"You might be done being sad, but it doesn't mean you're done grieving.  It's okay for it to take a long time.  It's okay that bad things happen."  Zayn rubs his fingers over Louis' knuckles.  "It will pass, and it will be better eventually.  It won't be perfect, but it will be better."

"I'm just so sick of being sad Zayn.  Why?"  Louis' face falls from humor to despair.  "Why?"

Zayn shrugs.  "I don't know.  But you need to calm down.  You're just over-wired."

"It's stupid that I have to get to this point, you know?  That I smoke too much.  Pathetic, innit?"  Louis rolls his eyes.

"No.  You're not pathetic.  You're just coming to terms with your best friend of 15 years dying in your arms this morning."  Zayn says softly.

Louis' heartrate increases and the wall protecting himself crumbles.  His head falls into Zayn's shoulder and cries for what feels like the hundredth time today.  "Why aren't you crying?  Why is it just me?"

Zayn squeezes him tightly.  "It's not just you babe.  I'm sad too, but you know I can't cry until you've finished."

"You really deserve to be sad too.  It's selfish of me to always be the sad one.  You can cry with me you know?"  Louis sniffles into Zayn's shirt.

"I know, but I'm not going to.  You're not selfish.  You're perfect and wonderful and amazing, and I'm so sorry that Jerry is gone.  I'm still here for you Louis.  You know I will always be here for you."  Zayn presses a hard kiss to Louis' temple.  "And Harry wants to be here for you too.  You should let him."

Louis shakes his head.  "I'm too broken.  I'll kill Harry off if he gets too close to me.  Or I'll leave him miserable and sad and fucked up."

"Stop Louis.  You don't know that.  And even if it were true, which it's _not_ , let him decide."  Zayn rubs a hand up and down his back.  "I'm still here and I'm happy and have you."

"You've always been here for me.  For too long.  I don't know how you haven't kicked me to the curb yet."  Louis pulls away and laughs.

"You know I'll never do that.  I'd never be able to find another roommate like you."  Zayn winks.

Louis wipes the tears away and smiles.  "Right?  You need me more than I need you." 

"Exactly.  I could get on my knees and beg for you to stay if you wanted."  Zayn acts like he's about to kneel down but Louis pulls him up to face level again.

"You're ridiculous."  Louis hugs him.  "And thank you.  I'm sorry."

"No worries mate.  I love you no matter what."  Zayn kisses his cheek and Louis sighs.

"Wait, where's Harry?"  Louis looks around.

"I told him to stay back for a bit.  He'll be down soon, so you better make yourself more presentable."  Zayn lightly shoves him.

"Psh, I'm more presentable than you'll ever be."  Louis motions to himself.

Zayn quirks an eyebrow.  "That, my dear, is a bold faced lie.  But if it helps you sleep at night, you go right on ahead and keep thinking that."

"Thank you.  I will."  Louis smiles.

~~~

Louis didn't sleep much last night, but that was only to be expected.  On the bright side, he hasn't cried since his marathon of crying at work yesterday.  But he's not a fool, he knows there will be a few more hard nights in his future.  At least he's not worried about crying at the drop of a hat anymore.

Or in front of other people.  God, how he hates that.  Unfortunately it's inevitable sometimes.  Grief has no mercy to a person's ego.

When Louis gets to work in the morning, Harry is standing by the door to the Platitat with a bouquet of periwinkle flowers in his hand.  He's staring into the glass window on the door and scuffing his foot on the ground. 

He approaches the situation cautiously.  Harry isn't quitting is he?  He would be the type to bring in flowers for that.  Or maybe there's someone he fancies and wants to give the flowers too.  Harry is sweet like that.

"Morning."  Louis says.

Harry spins on a dime so quickly that it would definitely make Louis dizzy if he were to do the same thing.  Oh to be young and spry again.  "Morning!  Sorry, I didn't see you."

Louis is amused at how apologetic Harry is.  He really should stop worrying about others not liking him so much.  "No need to apologize.  You're here quite early."

Harry intakes a nervous breath.  "Yeah, sor- er..."  Harry shakes his head to himself.  "I wanted to come early because I knew you would be here first."

Louis motions for him to step to the side so Louis can unlock the door.  "In that case, step into my office."  Louis motions for Harry to go in first and is 90 percent sure that he's about to receive a two weeks' notice.

Louis isn't really sure what to do with his hands- or his body for that matter.  He's tempted to open the fridge and shuffle through shit or start weighing out breakfast for the platypodes, but figures Harry must want his undivided attention if he specifically came in early to see him.  So he opts for awkwardly standing there and looks at Harry who is awkwardly standing across from him.

Louis is a grown man.  He can be a leader in awkward situations.  Except the awkward situations aren't usually his own and they only involve comforting interns feeling awkward and he diffuses the tension. 

Okay, so it's the same concept here.  He can do this.  It's simple really.  Except he has to consciously not say anything stupid like last time.  But he supposes it didn't end so badly anyway.  He now knows that Harry plays ocarina, and honestly, how cool is that?

"So what's up?"  His mouth eventually says.  This is promising.

Harry seems to be going through the same thought process as Louis, only judging by his breathing, he might actually be sweating.  "D-do you know what kind of flower this is?"

Okay, so he assumes this is probably not a two weeks' notice, unless it's a metaphorical one.  The downside to that is Louis is utterly in the dark now. 

"No, I haven't really got into botany."  Louis wonders why his and Harry's conversations seem to lean towards scientific based things a majority of the time.  Maybe it's because it's a safe space for both of them.  Knowledge.  They both relate through knowledge and learning.

This seems to have broken the ice for Harry and a grin spreads across his face.  "Well, it's technically called _Myosotis Scorpioides_."  Harry says with an exaggerated air of humor.  "But, they're more commonly known as Forget-Me-Nots."

Harry pauses and seems to wait for a response from Louis. 

Louis is still standing dumbly.  "Okay?"

Harry's face turns more serious and he looks down at the bouquet.  "Anyway, I brought them for you.  Like for Jerry.  I dunno if you made a grave for him or anything or if maybe you want to scatter them in the pond or put them in a vase.  I just... you know...."  Harry bites his lip.  "So we can remember Jerry."

Louis hopes it's because he's in the acceptance stage, or maybe he's just run out of tears for now, but it's definitely a miracle that he doesn't cry.  He does however, take the flowers from Harry and set them on the counter so he can hug Harry to express the feelings he doesn't know how to put words to.

He definitely feels a warm adoration for Harry.  A very pure and unadultered adulation, because next to Zayn, Harry is one of the sincerest persons Louis has ever known.  Amidst all the feelings of love swirling around inside of him, Louis is promptly pulled from his pirouette of emotions.  

He thinks it's probably because he's never smelled Harry in the morning, fresh from the shower, but the scent hits him like a ton of bricks, making his jaw go a little slack.  Harry smells like an Armani fashion show in the Buckingham Palace on a New Year's Eve with rose petals falling from a clear, starry sky- possibly with fireworks going off behind him. 

It kind of knocks the wind out of him.

Harry doesn't seem to notice Louis' weak knees, so he continues to hug Louis with comfort and kindness, because that's just who Harry is.

Louis, however, has completely derailed the earlier train of thought and the tracks have about-faced.  Louis is overcome with want.  A want that is completely selfish and involves loving Harry fiercer than he's ever been loved before. 

And holy God up above, Louis wants to kiss Harry more than he's wanted just about anything else up to this point in his life.  He wants to take Harry and run far, far away.  Run from his past and his problems and his future and just be with Harry.  He wants to kiss Harry and love Harry and be completely selfish about it because Harry is a beautiful person.

He pulls back a little, heart breaking when it parts from the nonpareil scent of Harry, and Louis freezes with his face several centimeters away from Harry's lips. 

A fraught thought occurs to him as he realizes the last person he's kissed is Zayn.  And before that, Mark.  Then before that, Zayn again.  Louis has kissed exactly two people in 29 years and is a ball of nerves.  He's about to reprimand himself for getting so scared, when he remembers why he's chosen to only kiss two people in the first place.

Louis can't fall in love.  He can't let someone fall in love with him.  It's as simple as that.  Whatever this is that he wants with Harry, he won't let himself have. 

Louis drops his head with an exhale and turns away from Harry.  He braces himself against the counter and stares at the bouquet of forget-me-nots.  Flowers from Harry, for Louis- no.  For Jerry.

From Harry for Louis because of Jerry.

Shit, this is confusing.

He feels like he might not catch his breath for the rest of the day so he only attempts to speak a little bit above a whisper.  "Thank you so much Harry."

"You're welcome."  Harry responds back just as quietly.

Louis is sure that if this were a movie, this would be the moment when he turns around, throws all caution to the wind, and kisses Harry anyway.  But this isn't a movie, and Louis won't have a happy ending.

So he doesn't kiss Harry. 

He picks up the bouquet and motions for Harry to follow him.  Harry is a step behind him, and Louis stops in front of Jerry's old sleeping chamber.  He plucks a stem of flowers for himself and one for Harry, then sets the bouquet down in Jerry's old bed.

Louis walks with Harry, still a stem of flowers in each of their hands, they sit down side-by-side in alongside the pond.  Louis plucks the small petals off one by one and lets them flutter down into the pond.  Harry copies and does the same with his stem of flowers. 

Soon there's a small cluster of forget-me-not petals gently floating around the pond.  Louis tosses the stem in, then clasps his hands and watches the ripples in the water. 

It's not as surprising as it should be when Harry rests his head sideways on Louis' shoulder.  It hurts Louis how natural it feels and what he instinctively wants to do because of it.  Instead he just leans his head against Harry's, smelling the phenomenal scent, and watches the pond with him.

Louis feels Harry's jaw move ever so slightly against his shoulder when he speaks.  "I know Jerry's in a better place now.  May he rest in peace."

Louis tilts his face slightly to bury it into Harry's curls and has to forcibly prevent himself from kissing the top of Harry's head.  "May we forget him not, and always keep him in our hearts."

Harry sighs in response and Louis adjusts his face to watch the water again, and puts a hand on the ground to support himself.  It's not quite touching Harry, but it allows him to lean into Harry a little more than he was before, and he thinks Harry leans in a little closer to him too.

It's probably five minutes that go by before Louis hears the door hinge squeak.  He's about to jump up in case it's Brooke, but the shuffle of boots and dark cloud of disparagement that trickles through the air tells Louis it's Zayn.

He fights the stupid urge to kiss the top of Harry's head again and instead looks back to the pond.  The petals have all scattered to various edges of the pond, a small cluster close to the bank that they are seated at. 

Zayn puts on The Postal Service.  It plays softly through the speakers, and Louis knows it's going to be a good day.

~~~


	12. Chapter 11

 

A/N: YOU GUYS GET TO MEET PERRY IM SO EXCITED XD

Perry also has a Twitter because I'm a dork like that. It's @[HarrysPerryTFH](http://www.twitter.com/HarrysPerryTFH) hehe.

Also, for the Bromance Awards, I've received 11 votes so far!! Thank you so much! 4 more and I'll do another update :)

Dedicated to Jesse :)

~~~

It's been a week.  The two nights he missed Jerry so badly that it brought him to tears, ended with him sleeping in Zayn's arms.  He thinks the crying is behind him finally.

Last night Louis was up later than normal playing online chess, and he heard Zayn crying alone in his room.  It was Louis' turn to comfort Zayn.

He wakes up in Zayn's bed and gives him a kiss on the shoulder.  Zayn groans and rolls over, not ready to be up for the day yet.  Louis reaches for his phone, alerting him of a message.

**Perry is ready to meet h** **is** **new family! On my way to the Platitat.**

Louis sits straight up in bed and shakes Zayn.  "Zayn!  Perry is coming today!"

"S'great.  I'll see you at work."  Zayn mumbles into the pillow.

"You don't want to go in early?  Conner is on his way right now!"  Louis throws the duvet off himself and runs to the shower.

He's waiting on the water to warm up when he decides to text Harry.

**Perry is coming in today!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D**

The response from Harry is almost instantaneous.

**Whoohoo!!!! Can't wait to meet him!!!**

Louis wonders if Harry will come in early and looks at the time on his phone.  It's 7:04am.  He realizes Harry was probably up before him and is more than likely driving already.  This makes him purse his lips and think for a moment before sending another text.

**Don't text and drive! See you soon :)**

It would be terrible if Harry were to get in a wreck from distracted driving.  Louis would probably never forgive himself.

Despite his last text to Harry, his phone vibrates again.

**;P See you soon xx**

Louis ruminates over the feeling stewing in his stomach of wanting to protect Harry and tell him not to be young and reckless.  But Louis was his age once too, and he certainly was young and reckless.  So instead, he bites at his nails and jumps in the shower letting the young live young.

~~~

Louis is buzzing when he gets to work, so much so, that he foregoes having his morning cigarette beforehand.

He all but runs into the Platitat where the door is already open and the lights are on.  Conner is shuffling a few things around and there's a large crate sitting atop the counter.

Louis ducks down to the holes in the crate to try and peek in.  "How is he?  Is he awesome and wonderful and just the best?"  Louis talks into the dark kennel, and Conner stands next to him.

"Hmm.  He is very... sassy.  He took a while to warm up to me, but very quick to assimilate to his surroundings.  Just doesn't seem to take to people too quickly.  Though he did manage to bond to the vet."  Conner picks up the crate and Louis follows him over to where Jerry's old pen is.

"Are we putting him in Jerry's pen?"  Louis asks.  The forget-me-nots died a couple days ago, so Louis removed them from the pen, but it had not been touched since.

"I figured we may as well.  We can put him in the far one if you'd like to leave Jerry's vacant."  Conner sets the crate down.  "I would understand."

"No, it's okay.  It's good actually.  Jerry would be happy."  Louis says.

"Yes, he would be."  Conner smiles.  "I'm so sorry for your loss Louis.  I was so heartbroken when Zayn told me."

Louis sighs.  "Yeah, it's sad, but it's okay.  It's hard some nights, but really, it's okay."

Conner gives Louis a quick hug.  "Good.  Do you need some time off yet?"

Louis shakes his head.  "No please.  Thank you though."

"Alright then."  Conner rubs his hands together.  "Ready to meet Perry?  Do you have some shrimp treats?"

Louis nods and shoves his hand into his pocket to pull some out and set them down in the pen.

Conner scoots the crate up to the back end of the pen and opens the doors.  Perry is smaller than their other platypodes.  Very petite for a male.  He tentatively takes a few steps into the pen when he sees the shrimp snacks laid out for him.

Conner shuts the pen doors, and Perry seems cautious, but eats like there isn't a problem.  Very different than some of the older platypodes on their first day.

"Eating without a problem only a minute in a new environment.  That's amazing."  Louis marvels.

Conner smiles.  "That's a young platypus for you, Louis.  Sometimes us old timers forget how resilient and spry these youngsters are."

Louis snorts.  "Spryness has nothing on seasoned."

Conner claps a hand to Louis' shoulder.  "You only say that because you're still young yourself.  You know nothing of seasoned."

Louis nudges Conner with his shoulder.  "I am plenty seasoned, thank you very much.  I am old and wise and demand your respect old man."

Conner laughs out loud at that, and Perry looks up at both of them with an inquisitive gaze.

The hinge on the door squeaks, announcing someone's entrance, and a quick glance over the shoulder tells Louis that it's Harry. 

Harry trots over to them and gives Louis a thousand smiles.  "Is this Perry?  Is he perfectly lovely?  Can he be held?" 

He looks like he might jump into Louis' arms with enthusiasm.  Not that Louis would mind that.

Louis shakes his head.  "We've only just put him in the pen.  He's doing so well though, come here."

Louis pulls Harry closer to him to give him a better look at the pen.  "See how he's almost eaten everything?"  Harry nods.  "That's so fantastic because it means he's not stressed out and he's assimilating quickly to his surroundings.  He's a juvenile so he's a lot more adaptable than some of the older platypodes when they first arrive."

Harry's grin slices his face in two.  "That's the coolest!  When do we let him out?  Is he done eating?"

Louis looks at Conner for approval and Conner nods with a sly smile.  Louis ignores the look and motions for Harry to do the honors.  

Harry looks like he might explode.  He pulls the other end of the pen open, and Perry immediately darts into the water and zips through, creating a wake of ripples. 

Conner, Louis, and Harry all move towards the bank and watch with smiles on their faces as Perry explores every corner of the pond.  Louis gets down to his knees when Perry starts swimming towards the bank.  He holds out his hand to show Perry that he has more shrimp treats in his hand.

Perry jumps out of the water like a penguin and runs right passed Louis and charges straight at Harry.

Harry looks petrified and takes a few steps back.  "L-Louis?"

Louis laughs as Harry walks backward faster and faster and Perry chases him, grunting and stumbling over his webbed feet. 

"Louis!"  Harry turns around to run into the bunker and jump up on the stainless steel counter.  Perry runs around in circles on the concrete ground beneath Harry, squawking and grunting.

Conner and Louis go into the bunker and Louis chews on the inside of his cheek, then looks to Conner.  "You didn't say he was aggressive."

Conner seems to be mulling over the same thing.  "He's not.  Just towards Harry.  Only..."  Conner pulls out his phone.  "Let me make a quick phone call."

Perry is now running around Louis and Conner, aware of their presence, and weaves in and out of their feet.  Harry is looking at Perry like he's a rabid alligator, and Louis doesn't really blame him.  He can't say he's seen something like this happen before.

Louis starts getting concerned when Perry butts his shin with his head.  He furrows his eyebrows down at the platypus and watches as Perry does it again and again. 

Harry looks to Louis for answers.  "Louis?  What's he doing?"

"Well..."  What is Perry doing?  Louis is racking his brain for why a young and adaptable platypus suddenly would become completely aggressive.  Though he didn't seem territorial per say.  Unless-

"Louis!"  Harry yells and Louis jumps up, barely missing Perry's attempt to spur him.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"  Louis jumps to the side when Perry keeps coming at him, then scrambles onto the top of the counter. 

Louis didn't really have time to think through the physics of the situation, so ends up with half his torso face up in Harry's lap, Harry clinging onto Louis to hold him up, and Louis' legs flailing desperately in the air, trying to hold them out of reach of Perry.

Louis is honestly scared for his life at the moment because he's brought back to the day when he was 16 and passed out from the pain of platypus venom.  So the fact that he's shrieking and holding onto Harry for dear life has no repercussions on his ego as far as he's concerned.

Harry finally gets all of Louis' body onto the countertop with much less effort than Louis thinks should be necessary, considering Harry doesn't look like he's actually that strong.  The way he manhandles Louis says completely otherwise though.

Louis gulps as he's finally situated upright and has his knees to his chest, backed up as far against the wall as he can be, just in case Perry suddenly morphs into a giant platypus capable of spurring the edges of the counter.  Harry has wedged himself into the corner of Louis and the wall too. 

Louis is still shaking with adrenaline and it seems Harry is too.  Perry is still running around in circles frantically grunting.  "Louis, why isn't he being aggressive towards Conner?"  Harry asks, out of breath.

"I dunno.  Probably because he's been with Conner for a week already.  Maybe he's not as adaptable as we thought..."  Louis squints his eyes as he further observes Perry.  He stops running in circles and butts Conner in the shins.  "Conner!" 

Conner seems to already be aware of what's about to happen and jumps up next to Harry so that Harry is now sandwiched between Conner and Louis.  The situation would be laughable, except all of them have been cornered by an angry platypus and are stuck on top of a stainless steel counter that Louis prays can hold all of their weight.

Harry looks at Louis and Louis looks at Conner. 

Conner snickers.  "Well it's a good thing we're all comfortable with each other." 

Louis snorts.  "So what are we suppose-"

The door hinge squeaks and Zayn drifts in looking like the grim reaper, as per usual for mornings.  Except the moment he steps foot through the doorway, he's assaulted by a swarm of yells from Conner, Louis, and Harry.

Zayn lets the door shut behind him and Perry is charging at him.

There's a chorus coming from the three of them.  "Get up, get up, get up, get up!" 

Zayn doesn't have many options, save it be chancing jumping over Perry without stepping on him or just standing there and letting himself get spurred.

So Louis assumes Zayn reacts with pure fight or flight and watches in amazement as Zayn moves faster than Louis has ever seen him move in the mornings and magnetize himself to the side of the refrigerator.  His arms are stretched over the top of the fridge and his legs bent upward as he climbs out of reach from the platypus that's grunting and thrashing its feet upward at Zayn.

When Zayn is situated atop the fridge, he's squished in the one meter space between the ceiling and plastic below him, trying to protect his long quiff from the evils of the dusty bunker and cobwebs.  "What the fuck is happening?  Is it rabid?"

"We don't know.  I'm calling the vet to ask about it.  Will you text Brooke and tell her to stay outside the door until we have the situation handled?"  Conner says, shuffling around for his phone again.

"Sure, but make room for me.  I'm not staying up here."  Zayn says. 

The three men on the countertop look at each other and the space that is evidently not there.  The sink would have been an option for one of them had Louis not filled it yesterday and left a bag of shrimp in to thaw overnight.

They look amongst themselves until Harry smiles and pats his lap for Louis to sit on.  Louis gives him a look of disbelief and Harry just shrugs.  Louis sheepishly climbs onto Harry's lap, trying to act more collected than he is on the inside. 

Louis doesn't miss the look Conner gives them, and Zayn seems too preoccupied with himself to make anything out of the situation.  As it is, Harry's lap is quite comfortable and Louis is glad for a larger than life bum so that he doesn't have to worry about his tailbone digging into Harry's thighs.

Zayn squeezes between Louis on Harry and the fridge in the small remaining space there.  He pulls out his phone to text Brooke.  Louis decides to put his mental energy into watching Perry rather than thinking about the stipulations of sitting on Harry's lap next to his boss and best friend.

Perry is circling right under the spot he knows Harry is seated and seems to be working himself up even more.  This is definitely not good for Perry.  Animals under stress are bad news and Louis wishes he could figure out what the hell was wrong with him.  Maybe Perry got abused by someone who looks like Harry.  That would be the absolute worst case scenario because that would mean an unhappy platypus and having to rearrange everything in terms of when Harry could be in the Platitat or not.

Louis snaps from his stupor when he feels Harry's hands almost mindlessly stroking against the sides of his thighs.  It's so gentle that he barely catches it himself, except that he's hyper aware of the situation.  It doesn't seem like Harry's doing it for any reason other than just a reflexive reaction to having someone sit in his lap. 

Conner seems to have finally gotten a hold of the vet on the other end of the line.  "Hey Vern?  It's Conner from the Sydney Zoo, how are you?" 

Louis, Zayn, and Harry all turn their heads to listen in.

"Yeah, we had a bit of a situation this morning... No, he was great all week in my dark pond and was fine with me and I think one of my employees too, but he charged straight at the intern and chased him up onto a counter... No, he didn't do anything to provoke it... Once he couldn't reach the intern though, he became extremely aggressive towards us- tried to spur me and my employee... Oh really?"

Louis turns his head to look at Zayn who is just as confused as Louis, so Louis cranes his head to look at Harry who is conveniently centimeters away from his face again.  They have a moment where they scan each other's faces and smile, then Louis' brain works again and he whispers to Harry.  "Can you hear anything?"

Harry shakes his head with a grin and they have another moment where they secretly enjoy being so close to each other's faces.

Conner's voice cuts through the silence.  "The intern?"  Everyone's eyes dart to Harry and Harry looks like a deer in proverbial headlights. 

"Er, young...?"  Conner says.  Harry breathes like he's being marched into an Iron Maiden and Louis automatically places a hand over Harry's to calm him.

"Medium length brown curly hair.  Green eyes.  Maybe 180 centimeters...  Really?  Oh..."  Conner trails off.

Louis' goes and just decides to slip his fingers into Harry's because Harry deserves some comfort after all the comfort he's showered on Louis like it's monsoon season in Myanmar.  Harry nudges his face forward ever so slightly so that his nose barely grazing Louis' back.

"I mean he's just an intern.  Been here maybe a month, but if you think... yeah okay.  Well, thank you for the information.  Have a good one.  Bye."  Conner clicks his phone off and pockets it. 

"Well?"  Louis asks.

"Well.  The boy, Tyler, who found the platypus apparently looks an awful lot like Harry.  The platypus is, as we know, imprinted."  Conner says.

"Oh."  Louis and Zayn say at the same time.

"So what does that mean?"  Harry mumbles into the back of Louis' shirt.  Louis can feel his breath through the thin material and it gives him goosebumps.

"So that means he is essentially imprinted to you Harry.  Imprint animals are fiercely attached and protective of their owners, which is why Perry came straight for you as soon as he saw you.  He wasn't displaying aggression until you were up on the counter and then thought Louis and I were coming between you and him."  Conner explains.

"No offense, but like, how didn't you know this when you went to pick him up?"  Harry asks.

"Remember Perry had been with Tyler for maybe three months, then with the Vern for about six months.  Tyler kept visiting Perry, but was eventually weaned from his presence.  The reason Perry was able to bond with Vern is because Tyler was there for part of it and Vern wasn't coming between them, but rather an extra stimulus added to the environment.  When I went to pick him up, Tyler wasn't there, so it was just passing Perry from two men that he didn't have any instinctual or deep rooted feelings for.  But now he thinks you're Tyler, so..."  Conner trails off.

"So, what?"  Harry squeezes Louis' hand ever so lightly and Louis knows that Harry knows what he has to do.

Louis squeezes his hand back.  "So you need to get down there and cuddle the shit out of Perry until he doesn't feel threatened that any of us will steal you from him."

They all look down at the floor where Perry is snapping up at the air and growling.

"Theoretically, he shouldn't spur you."  Zayn strokes his chin.

"It's okay, he likes pain."  And Louis has no idea what the fuck possessed him to say such a thing, but it's out there and he's thinking about Harry arching his back into Louis' nails scratching down the length of it and everyone is staring at him. 

Harry makes embarrassed noise and shifts Louis in his lap.

"Well lads, I have a feeling this is about to get uncomfortable for the four of us, so I'm just going to break the ice and say Louis is a twat."  Zayn announces.  "So Harry, gear up whatever kink you have and get down there."

Harry releases his sweaty palm from Louis' and places both hands on Louis' hips to shift him over onto Zayn.  Louis feels like he definitely deserves to probably never touch Harry again since he probably just humiliated and stripped him of his dignity in front of his two other bosses.

Louis is an idiot.

But Louis is in the safe arms of Zayn now.  The same ones that were wrapped around him last night and his morning, and Zayn seems to know exactly what is going through Louis' head, because Zayn rubs his side to let him know it's okay.

Louis really loves Zayn.

Harry closes his eyes to take a deep breath.  When he opens them again, he looks almost excited at the challenge that lies ahead of him.  He gingerly dangles a leg down, still out of reach of Perry, but close enough to where Perry is attempting to jump on his hind legs to reach him.

Harry lets his other leg down and slowly edges himself closer to the ground.  Perry attaches himself to Harry's trainers and scrambles up his leg.  Harry yelps and lets his feet touch the ground and Perry is up on his chest.  Harry wraps his arms around Perry and Perry is squeaking and grunting and shoving his bill into the side of Harry's neck.

Harry giggles and pulls his neck away from Perry.  "Oh my goodness- he, he won't stop tickling me.  I think he's biting me!  But it doesn't hurt!"

"Well, looks like Harry will probably be the sole handler of Perry for a little while until he doesn't see any of us as a threat."  Conner says.

"So is he going to be aggressive to us if Harry's around?"  Zayn asks.

"Only one way to find out."  Louis shrugs.  "I'll do the honors."  Harry looks at him with worry.  "It's okay, he won't hurt you.  If anything, he'd come after me." 

"I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you."  Harry says sheepishly.

Louis purses his lips to hide a smile and just shakes his head.  "I'll be fine.  Zayn, catch me if I pass out."

Zayn just snorts a response and Louis slides out of Zayn's lap.  He steps one, then two feet onto the ground.  Perry has stiffened in Harry's arms and is acutely aware of Louis. 

Harry's stroking Perry from head to tail.  "Shh, it's okay Perry.  We like Louis.  Louis is nice, see?  He won't take you away.  He's our friend."  Perry burrows himself deeper into Harry's arm.  "Yeah, that's a good boy.  See how nice Louis is?  We love Louis, huh?"

The words sound funny coming from Harry's mouth, but the feeling it provokes in Louis is even funnier and more foreign.  Anxiety, is the word he thinks would be fitting. 

Anxiety and he's definitely reading too far into it.

"How's he doing Harry?"  Conner asks.

Harry scratches the back of Perry's head.  "Good I think.  You guys can probably come down if you want to..."

Zayn and Conner exchange looks and glide off the counter. 

"Yeah I think he's fine with it now.  He just seems really... snuggly..."  Harry says.

"Imprints.  He probably got quite babied by Tyler, judging by how he's acting with you."  Conner says.

Zayn goes to the door where Brooke is waiting with a completely confused look on her face and motions for her to come in. 

"So what's going on?  The new platypus is imprinted to Harry?"  Brooke swipes her time card.

"Basically."  Zayn shrugs.

"Harry, do you think you could put him down?  I'd like to see how he does with everyone now."  Conner instructs.

Harry nods and sets Perry on the ground.  Perry closes the space between himself and Harry and lays over the top of Harry's shoe.  Harry looks up to Conner and Louis.  "Um?"

"Try walking."  Louis points in the other direction.

Harry looks down at Perry wrapped on his foot and takes a step with the opposite foot.  Perry seems to know what's happening and crawls off Harry's foot.  When Harry starts walking around, Perry waddles right behind Harry's ankles, and any time Harry stops, Perry lays across his feet.

Harry walks back to the group and they all watch as Perry trails behind, then stations atop Harry's trainers once Harry's standing still.

"Well."  Louis taps his chin.  "You should probably spend as much time on the dirt as possible so that it doesn't damage his knuckles walking on the concrete.  At least until he's not so physically attached.  I suspect it should only last a few days, then calm down some."

Though Louis wonders if he really believes that.  If he were Perry, he would probably cling to Harry too, so he can't really blame the platypus.

"Alright.  Well it looks like everything is situated here.  I'll be going.  You boys and Brooke let me know if you need anything."  Conner exits with a wave.

Zayn jerks his head towards the pond.  "Brooke, want to go get started on watering the foliage?  I'll get breakfasts prepped."

"Sure!"  Brooke grabs the watering pail and leaves to feed the plants.

Zayn has his head in the fridge and Louis and Harry are looking at each other.  Well, Louis is actually looking at Harry's foot where Perry is perched because he's a little embarrassed to make eye contact with Harry at the present moment.

"Harry, I- I'm really sorry about- what I said.  I wasn't thinking and I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of Conner and Zayn."  Louis feels about as tall as Perry right now.

Harry fucking giggles at that.  Louis' head snaps up so fast he thinks he may have strained a vertebrae. 

"'S okay actually.  Zayn knows I'm weird and I'm not like, worried about Conner."  Harry's face flushes a shade pinker than before.  "Just, um, how did you know?"

Zayn closes the refrigerator door with a little more force than necessary and intentionally leaves Louis and Harry alone.

Louis clears his throat.  "I just kind of figured because of the..."  Louis feels like there is definitely not enough air for his lungs right now.  "The comment the other week...  About scratch marks..."  Louis barely strains out the last bit.

Harry's face is bright red now.  "Oh."  Is all he says.

"Sorry."  Louis says.

"Don't apologize."  Harry bites his lip.  "It's okay."

Louis decides to drain the sink because it will give him something to do.

"Is it like... weird?  Does it weird you out?"  Harry asks with more confidence.

The wet package of shrimp slips from Louis' hands onto the counter with a loud thunk.  "N-no.  It's normal.  Totally normal.  It's fine actually.  Not a big deal."  Louis says staring at the thawed package of shrimp.

"Well, I think we should make it fair."  Harry says.

"Sorry?"  Louis tries to keep his voice conversationally light.

Then, Holy Mother of God, Harry is right behind him and Louis can smell his god damned shampoo again. 

"Tell me one of your kinks."  Then there's Harry's hot breath that tickles the back of his neck, and Louis wants to jump into the drain because his social-flirting- fuck, even basic conversation- skills are sorely underprepared for this situation.

"I don't uh... don't think I have any..."  Fucking hell.  Why this topic?  Why this conversation?  Why now?

And who the hell actually is Harry Styles?

"So you just like vanilla sex?"  Harry asks.

Shit, why is this conversation so candid, and what gives Harry the right to ask him these things?  Is this normal?  Mark was never this forward with him.  What even is vanilla?

"Vanilla?"  Louis feels like it's the safest route for the conversation to go.

Harry shuffles next to him and rests his elbows on the counter and looks sideways at Louis.  "Like, normal sex.  No fancy outfits, words, or acts."

Louis feels severely underhanded in this situation.  "I get the feeling that you and I have had very different sexual experiences." 

He says it because he's getting the vibe that it's quite true.  Louis hasn't given a thought to having any kind of kink.  Why would he?  He loves how his and Zayn's sex works; it's comforting.  With Mark it was just standard and normal sex with the occasional sexy underwear Mark would wear for Louis, but it didn't particularly get Louis going any more than other times they'd have sex.

Harry looks like Louis may have offended him, and Louis feels bad, but for what, he doesn't quite know.  "You don't have any, but don't think it's weird that I do?"

Louis shrugs.  "To each their own." 

Harry is probably just caught up in the young freedom of exploring things regarding sex.  What he probably doesn't know is that kinky sex lasts for a short time, and 'vanilla' sex is what will still be there in the end.  It's the roots for intimacy.

At least that's what Louis' always thought.  Is he the weird one?  Does Zayn have kinks he doesn't know about? 

Why does Louis feel like he's in over his head with a boy that's 10 years younger than him?

Harry pulls him from his thoughts.  "Well you deserve to tell me something juicy then."  Harry pushes away from the counter with all the nonchalance of a flirting tease and walks towards the pond with his new platypus best friend in tow. 

Louis just stares down at the thawed shrimp in front of him.

~~~


	13. Chapter 12

 

A/N: Happy late Christmas fam! I apologize for not posting yesterday. You can yell at me on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/LemonSuccubus) if you want :)

 

-Dannie Ybarra xoxo

~~~

Later that night when Louis and Zayn are on their smoking couch, Louis has his head in Zayn's lap as they share their blunt.

"Zayn?"

"Louis."

"Do you have kinks?" Louis stares at the porch roof above him.

"Yes." Zayn says simply.

Louis looks to Zayn's face. "Why haven't you ever told me about them?"

Zayn shrugs. "Never needed to."

"You're my best friend though. And roommate. And sometimes sexual partner." Louis tacks on. "Don't one of those mean I get to know your kinks?"

"You're also Louis." Zayn says.

"What does that mean?" Louis squints his eyes.

Zayn takes a drag then passes the blunt back to Louis. "It means that when I have sex with you, I'm having sex with you. I'm not fulfilling my own sexual desires."

"So does that mean it's boring? Or that I'm not sexual? I'm confused." Louis takes a long drag to calm his nerves. Why hasn't he ever thought about these kinds of things before?

"You're not boring Louis. I love when we're intimate together. It's different. Special. Because it's about you and me, not the act of having sex." Zayn says.

"So I'm not sexual?" Louis' always thought that by having sex, you are in turn, a sexual being. Not only does it make sense as far as semantics are concerned, but also common logic he would think.

"You are sexual, but you're not like everyone else." Zayn pauses to think for a minute. "I think society is extremely over sexualized these days, which is fine, but it doesn't mean everyone is that way. Like, you've just never been that way."

"What? Oversexualized?" Louis hasn't ever thought of himself as either over or under sexualized. He's always just thought of himself as Louis. "Does that mean I'm bland? Like milk toast? Or a crumpet without honey?"

Zayn runs fingers though Louis' hair. "No love. It just means you don't conform to society. It's a good thing. You've always done your own thing. You don't do things to appeal to other people. You just do you; and that's good."

"So you have kinks so that you appeal to other people?" Normally when Louis gets into conversations with Zayn when they're smoking, they turn out to be deep and clear. Right now seems to be a different story though, and Louis' brain feels as hazy as his lungs.

"No. I have kinks that sexually excite me for sex. But I don't need that with you because you're you. I love you and enjoy having sex with you regardless of what you would like in bed." Zayn pokes Louis' nose. "You don't have to have kinks to be exciting or intriguing. Nor do you have to do things with your partner that make you uncomfortable. Sex should always be mutual between both parties."

"So how does one find out what kinks they have? Like is it just something you think about? Or does it get done to you and you realize you like it or don't like it?" Louis rubs at Zayn's abs.

"Well you could always go the route of trying everything, but that takes a ton of sex and a very sexually confident partner whom you trust. Normally it's just like, what you think about that gets you to want to have sex. Or things that you would imagine to make it better." Zayn explains.

"So... what kinks do I have?" Louis asks.

"I dunno. I'm not you, Louis." Zayn strokes the side of his cheek. "Doesn't mean I don't have my guesses though." Zayn purses his lips. "What do you think about when you have sex with me? What do you imagine when having sex with Harry?"

Louis feels his body go a little rigid at letting the thoughts flow freely to the front of his mind. So out in the open and candid.

"I guess..." Louis starts. "With you, like, your body. It's just really phenomenal, you know? I really just love touching you. Thinking about touching your body makes me want you." And of course, Louis is now thinking about touching Zayn's dark skin. His chiseled abs and the way his body is perfectly proportionate. The perfect lines of his jaw and cheekbones.

It's gotten a little tighter in Louis' pants. "I haven't thought about... sex with Harry. But... God..." Louis closes his mind to think about it for a minute.

If he was kissing Harry, how and when would it happen? Probably at the Platitat since that's the only place he's actually been with Harry. But that's no good. Not for sex at least.

He has no idea what Harry's house is like, but immediately vetoes the idea since he lives with his parents. Louis' room is a little cluttered, but homey. Also full of the secrets of Louis' life. So again, no.

The only place Louis has actually had sex over the last seven years is in Zayn's room. With Zayn.

So, he and Harry would be sitting on Zayn's bed maybe. Talking? Having one of the ridiculous conversations they have. Then they'd look at each other in that way, and...

Louis' stomach knots up. "Zayn, I don't know if I even could do anything with Harry. I wanted to kiss him last week and got so fucking nervous. I can't even think about it properly now without chickening out."

"Just relax babe." Zayn plays with the buttons on Louis' flannel shirt and drags slow fingers along his décolletage.

Louis takes another puff from the blunt to relax his body. Deep breath, and okay. So they'd look at each other in that way. He decides Harry is the one to make the move since apparently he's more comfortable with this than Louis. Their lips would touch and, fuck, Harry's lips.

Louis groans.

"Well?" Zayn questions.

"His lips." Louis whines.

"Good. Keep going." Zayn encourages.

Louis would kiss and lick and suck on Harry's lips because, fuck, his lips are better than cheesecake. Harry's whole face is stupidly perfect. The way his dimples divot in when he smiles. The way his cheekbones hollow out when he purses his lips. The way his eyelashes brush softly against his skin.

"His face is perfect. His face is perfect like yours. I could kiss it for ages." Louis says.

"What happens after you've sexually frustrated yourself from kissing?" Zayn asks with a hint of amusement.

"Well..."

What would happen? What does Louis do with Zayn? Normally they touch each other. That would be normal with Harry too, right? It would feel more normal if Zayn were there. Harry eluded to a threesome with them, right? Oh fuck. Zayn and Harry and Louis, touching each other. Harry with a hundred questions in his eyes, and Zayn showing them what to do. Zayn watching as Harry fondles Louis and kisses down his body. Louis pulling at Harry's sinfully long curls to give him a little bit of pain. Zayn touching Louis like he knows Louis likes to be touched and kisses his neck. Two perfect bodies sandwiching Louis...

"Oh my God." Louis moans.

"Whatever it is, it has your cock thoroughly interested." Zayn muses.

"I want to have a threesome with you and Harry." Louis sits up.

Zayn coughs out a breath of smoke. "Mate-" Another cough. "How did you go from kissing Harry on the lips to a threesome?"

Louis shrugs. "That's just what happened in my brain."

"I mean, that's fine. Ah..." Zayn clears his throat. "Um, a threesome is a fine fantasy to have, and Harry would probably be down. Just... I don't know that you'd do that like, your _first_ time with him, would you?"

Louis shrugs again. "I dunno. It's what seemed most natural in my head."

Zayn nods slowly and pulls Louis down to his lap again. "Okay. That's good and fine. Just... Think about you and Harry though."

Louis closes his eyes again and takes a deep breath. He and Harry on Zayn's bed- wait. No. Somewhere else maybe, so that it won't involve Zayn.

He and Harry cuddling on their couch watching a movie. Harry dips down for the kiss and Louis snogs back on his plump lips mercilessly. Louis would move down to his neck and maybe bite down harder than normal there. He could see it as something that would make Harry squirm beneath him.

Yes. That's good.

Louis would unbutton his shirt to reveal a soft, but toned, body. Harry definitely looks fit; anyone with eyes can see the way his back muscles flex when he bends over and his shirt rides up. Louis straddles Harry to take charge (Louis likes that he's getting more confidence via his thoughts) and would rut down on Harry.

Fuck, they'd need more of each other, so they'd both strip each other of clothes and Louis would lay atop Harry and take decades kissing along his body. Looking at his body. Then Louis would trail down lower and lower until he's about to take Harry into his mouth. He'd flick his eyes upward to watch Harry, and he sees...

Zayn. Standing naked by the arm of the couch and waiting to straddle Harry's body and together Zayn and Louis would make Harry slowly-

"Damn it Zayn." Louis bats Zayn's hand off of his own. "You keep invading my personal time with Harry."

Zayn snickers. "Okay, well am I there actually doing things with you guys? Or am I just watching?"

"A little of both." Louis admits.

"Mate I think the only reason I'm there is because you're not confident with yourself and you think you need me there to make it a good experience." Zayn pets Louis' hair.

Louis opens his eyes to glare at Zayn. "No. I'm confident. And I want you there because I want you there. Not because I need reassurance."

"Okay." Zayn drawls. "So without me in the picture, what have you done with Harry?"

"God, I dunno. Just like, appreciate his body." Louis stops himself from palming his crotch at hearing the words aloud.

Zayn nods. "Body worship is a thing, you know. You could have like, a minor case of it."

Louis' lungs feel a little heavier in his chest because, what is air? "I think that's my thing."

"Makes sense." Zayn says.  "Some people have a kink for vanilla sex too."

"This is like... Why haven't I thought about this before Zayn?" Louis sits up to see eye-to-eye with Zayn.

"It doesn't change who you are just because you've pinpointed what you like. You've just never taken the time to give it any thought. Sex hasn't been a big enough deal for you to devote your mental capacity towards it." Zayn brushes a strand of hair behind Louis' ear.

"Why not?" Louis asks.

Zayn sighs. "I suspect it's because you spend most of your time thinking about sad things. Your past and future rather than your present. Same as when you were a teenager, you know?"

"I mean, I think about sex." Louis scratches the back of his neck. "How often do you think about it?"

Zayn smiles fondly at Louis. "How often do _you_ think about it?"

This puts Louis in a compromising position, because what if it's way less than Zayn? Zayn is Louis' only standard of normal, and what if he's so completely far away from what normal is? "Probably, maybe, once every several days... You know, until I start getting antsy, and then I think about it more frequently. Maybe once a day or something. But then by that time we've usually had sex."

"We only have sex like once a month. If not every two months." Zayn states.

"Yeah." Louis says.

"So what about the times you jerk off? Do you think about doing that more often than sex?" Zayn asks.

"I prefer having sex..." Louis looks at his hands.

"Well, most of us do. But like..." Zayn seems at a loss for words and gazes into the side of Louis' head. "You don't jerk off anymore, do you?"

Louis bites the inside of his cheek and shakes his head.

"Okay." Zayn lets out a long exhale. "So that's it. You just haven't spent a lot of time thinking about sex, and that's totally okay."

"But I feel like I should know so much more about myself! I think Harry knows more about what he likes in bed than I do, and he's like, not even 20 yet." Louis complains.

"Don't go trying to turn yourself into a nymphomaniac just to appeal to Harry. That would be just as bad as compromising your morals for him." Zayn says.

"He has higher morals than me." Louis says.

"You don't know that." Zayn waves his hand in the air.

"He doesn't smoke." Louis defends.

"And you weren't homeschooled." Zayn sits back into the sofa. "Having differences doesn't mean you have different morals."

"This is confusing as shit." Louis lays his head back on Zayn's lap. "I think I need to be higher."

"I think you should have properly dated more when you were younger." Zayn thumbs at the sides of Louis' face.

"Is that how you know so much? And why you're so confident?" Louis asks.

"Yes love. But it's okay to not know things. It's okay to be you. You shouldn't try to be like me. Be like you." Zayn drags a finger up and down the column of Louis' neck.

"He told me I owe him a secret of sorts. Since I know he has a pain kink." Louis sighs. "Isn't that weird though? Like, I can't just text him and tell him I'm into body worship, it's like, kind of personal. Or what if he takes it the wrong way?"

Zayn snorts. "I've had someone tell me they were into slavery BDSM as a pick-up line at a bar. There aren't rules around how early or how late you can discuss things with someone." Zayn yawns and stretches his arms up in the air. "Just tell him you want to have a threesome then, since you know he'll take that well."

Louis nods. It makes sense. Well. It doesn't make sense that he would reveal the more exotic fantasy to Harry before divulging the mild one. But it does make sense because the latter is more... intimate.

His heart rate speeds up as he pulls out his phone and sends a text to Harry.

**I have a secret for you..**

"Zayn, I don't know if I can do this." Louis feels like his heart is in his throat.

"Then don't. It's not like there are rules around it." Zayn twirls Louis' hair in his fingers.

Harry's response vibrates in Louis' hand.

**Yes? :)**

"Shit, I want to tell him, but won't it be awkward? What do I say? 'I want to have a threesome with you and Zayn.'?" Louis shudders at himself.

"Sure. Don't overthink it. Just be you babe." Zayn goes to tweak Louis' nipple, but Louis shoves him off with a laugh.

**About our conversation earlier... I have a thing for threesomes.**

Louis is actually sweating as his thumb hits 'send'.

Harry doesn't take long to reply.

**You've been in one before?**

Louis is well and truly flattered. Good. He'll let Harry think he's more experienced than him for a moment.

His resolve breaks a minute later when he realizes he wants to see what else Harry has to say about the conversation.

**No. Just a fantasy... for now :)**

Louis is proud of himself. Very proud. Zayn would be proud.

The bubbles on the screen disappear and reappear several times for about five minutes.

"Damn it Zayn. He keeps typing then like, deleting his text or something. He hasn't responded for five minutes, but it keeps saying he's typing." Louis complains.

"Well you kind of just dropped a bomb on him. Maybe he's just worried about where to take the conversation from here." Zayn says.

"But you told me to just tell him!" Louis furrows his eyebrows at Zayn.

"I didn't say 'use it as your conversation starter', but hey, it was effective either way. Stop stressing and just go with it." Zayn dismisses.

Louis opens his mouth to complain about Zayn's contradictory coaching methods when his phone buzzes and Louis thinks of leaping off the porch.

**Well thank you for the visual. I will put it to good use later tonight ;)**

The haze in Louis' brain quickly morphs into the scene of Harry in his bedroom touching himself- depraved and sweating- thinking about himself, Louis, and Zayn in any capacity.

The urge to continue playing with that fantasy is rapidly increasing and it's definitely been a while since Louis has had a proper orgasm.

Louis clears his throat. "Zayn?" Louis is glad his voice comes out more steady than it should be.

"Yes?" Zayn quirks an eyebrow.

"Can we have sex?" Louis tries to keep it from sounding like a plea.

"Not if you're going to be thinking about Harry the whole time." Zayn says. "It's not a good habit to get into."

Louis flips over to his stomach to bury his face into Zayn's crotch and Zayn groans out at the sudden pressure. Louis wraps his arms around Zayn's waist. "Please? Just tonight?"

Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose and mulls over it for a moment before responding. "If you call me Harry, we're stopping immediately."

Louis sits straight up and clings to Zayn's torso. "I promise. Zayn, _Zayn_ , Zaynie, Zayn." Louis attaches his lips to Zayn's neck and Zayn picks him up to take him into the house.

It almost slips out once, but Louis covers it with a moan.

~~~


	14. Chapter 13

A/N: First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your support in voting for Fading Zen for the Wattpad Bromance Awards!!

Apparently, because I'm still a noob, I didn't realize that was voting only for the qualifying round! So now, Fading Zen has made it to the **Final Round** and I figured I would extend the same incentive this time as well! So..

**For every 5 votes, I will upload a chapter of** **The Forgotten Habitat** **!!**

Last time I counted 13 votes and did two chapter uploads!!! Huge thank you, and if those same 13 people vote, and two new people do, you can make it to three chapter uploads this time around :D

Please [tweet](http://www.twitter.com/lemonsuccubus), Kik, or Instagram me with proof <3 Username is @ LemonSuccubus

I have out the link in a message to everyone, but here it is as well: <https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1DDvvIIVHOyp8rNdbtNpekIGdUO5IMsht1Z7ghLZQMOo/viewform>

Xoxo

-Dannie Ybarra

  
~~~

Two weekends later and Louis has been quieter than normal because maybe it's a little hard to look Harry in the eye after he and Zayn had passionate sex and Louis thought of Harry the whole time.

Looking back, it was a little contradictory to Louis' morals. But he's only human after all and even he isn't above succumbing to inappropriate forms of sexual pleasure from time to time.

Louis trips over his closing sentence as he shoves the thoughts out of his mind. "So thank you for c-coming to, uh, Sydney's Taronga Zoo today and spending time with us here at the platypus habitat... Um, have a great day and remember to er, uh... reduce, reuse, and recycle!"

The generous crowd claps and Louis is definitely off his game today. Who ever said it was okay for curly-haired boys to completely interfere with one's psyche? Very unfair of the universe to do this to him. Or Louis is probably doing it to himself. Louis is unfair to himself.

No, what unfair is Harry fucking Styles. It shouldn't be kosher for people like Harry to exist. It's inconsiderate is what it is. All dimples and curly hair on the outside and a dark, lurking layer of kinky mystery underneath that Louis feels like he's only scratched the surface of.

Louis shudders as he thinks of scratching again.

What's more, is that Harry is a fantastically decent person. More intelligent than most people Louis has ever known; wittier than a Sicilian; more sincere than Louis most of the time, and definitely more honest than any preacher he's known.

So when Louis finds a good amount of his brain devoting it's energy to thinking about Harry in every way, space, and form, it's getting _really_ distracting and immeasurably frustrating.

The thing about frustration is that Louis works to relieve it. Work relieves anything for him really. Whether it be sadness, anger, depression, or any other emotion Louis can think of. Work has forever been his outlet for 15 years and it's never failed him.

Until now.

Louis thinks back to simpler times. When the unnamable emotion was just an allegory for the simplicity of his life. When he could vent to Jerry about needing to scratch an itch that he didn't know the name of.

The emotion and the itch both have a name now.  God, and again with the _scratching._

The part that's most frustrating is that it goes against his morals to pursue things with Harry. He swore to himself he wouldn't. Not after everything with his parents. Not after things with Mark. Louis is meant to be alone for the good of society.

People are clapping and coming up to thank him for the presentation like he's not getting paid to do it and Louis plasters a smile on his face. He mechanically turns off the microphone and lets his hands fall to his side. He's looking at a sea of strangers and unfamiliar faces and all he can see in his mind's eye is Harry.

It's like his whole existence is trying to force itself closer and closer to Harry. Louis is increasingly more aware of Harry's presence everywhere; more in tune and observant to everything Harry says and does.

So when the crowd dissipates and Harry is hugging an attractive girl about his age with long, auburn hair and laughing, it takes about three seconds for Louis to decipher that it's either a childhood friend or relative of some sort.

That's when the spiked feeling of heat dies down in him and he realizes he was definitely not jealous for the three seconds it took for him to figure that out. He needs to talk to Zayn about this.

Harry makes eye contact with him for the first time in days, and says something to the girl he's still embracing. The girl laughs and lets go of Harry, then looks over in Louis' direction. Louis isn't sure why he feels like he's been caught in the act of doing something wrong except- maybe staring at a boy who's barely legal is wrong on several levels, but that's really only Louis' problem because everyone else still thinks Louis is like, 24.

Interrupting him from his (recently) completely disorganized brain, Harry and the girl walk towards him. About two steps towards Louis, Louis notices that she has almost the exact same posture, gait, and build as Harry- only, in girl form. Definitely relative or sibling.

Which, wait. How does Louis not know more about Harry's family? Two parents, yes. But is he the youngest, oldest, one of two, one of nine?

By the time Harry makes it to a conversational distance, his demeanor has faded to a bit shyer than when he normally talks to Louis. Louis wonders if the girl is making Harry nervous, or Harry is suddenly less comfortable around him.

"Hey Louis, this is my sister Gemma." Harry bites his lip and averts his gaze to look at his sister.

So. Harry is, apparently, less comfortable around Louis now. Maybe it's just because his sister is here. Just- please God, don't let it be the threesome thing making this awkward. He really should have said something to Harry sooner to smooth everything over.

"Hi Louis! I'm Gemma." She laughs at herself and smiles so that her dimples are showing off. Of course she has dimples. "I've heard so much about you, so I'm glad to finally meet you." She says with way too much enthusiasm.

Harry gives her a look and jabs her in the ribs. Louis can't really do anything but stand there for a moment to digest what is happening.

Gemma's face only lights up more at Harry's physical reprimand. "You did really great with the presenting. So smart and confident. I don't blame Harry for-"

Harry interjects. "Gemma! I didn't say you should come today to make my boss hate me."

Gemma rolls her eyes. "Right. You just said you were _dying_ to have me meet the coolest, most fit and attractive, _smart_ , kind and-"

"Oh my God Gemma! Shut up!" Harry flails his arms to try and muffle her.

Louis' mouth has parted like he's going to say something, but absolutely nothing comes out. His mouth is dryer than the Outback in December and there is nothing but tumbleweeds and desiccated air coming out of his mouth.

"Fine! Calm down Hazzy." Gemma pushes Harry off and ruffles his hair. " _Louis_ , it was a pleasure to meet you." She shoots passive aggressive daggers at Harry. "I hope to see you again, and if this dolt hasn't done it already, you are invited to dinner one of these days because our dad is _extremely_ interested in meeting you." She gives Louis a pointed look then turns to Harry. "Okay little Hazzy, I'm meeting up with friends and Cooper, so I'll see you later." She hugs Harry and skips off. "Bye Louis!"

Louis and Harry stand there, Louis still with a microphone in one hand and the cord wrapped around the other.

Louis is- Louis did not foresee his day going this way.

"Sorry about Gemma. Um..." Harry doesn't seem like he actually has anything to say passed that.

"'S okay." Louis doesn't feel like it's the right time to start asking Harry a plethora of questions about his family and siblings and all the other nuggets of knowledge he has yet to learn about Harry.

"Uh-" Harry cuts himself off with an exhale. "The um, the last couple weeks...?"

Louis bites his tongue because Harry is probably about to ask Louis point blank why the hell he's been so avoidant.

"You uh..." Harry scratches the back of his neck. "Did I do something wrong?"

Louis' eyes almost bulge out of his sockets. "Fuck no! God. No." Louis uses his free hand to hide his face for a moment. "I'm sorry Harry, I just... I don't know. But no. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Okay." Harry says, clearly disappointed for lack of reassurance.

Louis walks away because he doesn't know what else to do. He walks away and wants to punch himself because he feels like his relationship with Harry has stalled and like he's not normal anymore because all he can think about is things that aren't permitted to happen. They have to work together professionally and Louis needs to die alone, but Louis knows he wants Harry and he's about 97.2 percent sure that Harry wants him too.

Zayn is whispering something into Brooke's ear when Louis grabs his car keys and cigarettes and dashes out the door. He thinks he hears Zayn behind him, but he keeps walking swiftly in the direction of his car.

He unlocks the driver's side and sits sideways in the seat with his feet dangling over onto the asphalt. He fumbles with his cigarette pack when he sees Zayn's shoes in his field of vision.

"Lou, what's going on?" Zayn reaches out for Louis' hand.

Louis shoves a stick into his mouth and mumbles around it. "I can't stop fucking thinking about Harry. I can't fucking look him in the eye without feeling guilty. My entire body screams when I try and avoid him and I got _fucking jealous_ when I saw him hug his _sister_ today, who said that Harry's told her all about me and his fucking dad wants to meet me and now it's fucking more awkward because I have no idea how to fucking act around Harry because I just want to like, _know_ him more; but I'm just not okay with the feeling I keep getting because I know it's a more-than-friends feeling and I know Harry feels that way too, and I'm just so fucking pent up because I can't even decompress at work anymore because work _is_ the problem. My brain is the problem actually. It's the entire reason for this entire fucking, _fucking_ mess in the first place."

Zayn kneels down and lights Louis' cigarette.

Louis leans sideways against the head of his seat and smokes in silence for a minute. Zayn rubs up and down Louis' thighs. "D'you need to go home?"

Louis shake his head. "No. I just need to smoke myself to death before the day ends. That would be optimal."

"No." Zayn disagrees. "Smoking yourself to death in your late fifties was the plan. Remember?"

Louis huffs out smoke. "Yes I _remember_. I still need to have another if I'm going to make it through the rest of the day."

Zayn nods. "That's fine. Take your time."

Louis closes his eyes as he finishes his first cigarette, then three minutes later finishes his second cigarette. "Okay. I can make it."

"Good lad. Let's go." Zayn pats his leg and Louis follows him back to the Platitat.

~~~

By the end of the day, Louis feels like he's run a marathon trying to keep himself put together.

Zayn is on their couch and Louis is pacing the porch, guitar long forgotten next to Zayn.

"Mate, you're gonna wear out the wood. You've gone from straight lines, to circles, and now you're walking in figure eights." Zayn says.

"I'm not stressed." Louis says to the wood beneath him.

"I never said you were stressed." Zayn says.

"We've already had a blunt and I've had five cigarettes. Would it be a bad idea to start drinking? I'm still fucking anxious." Louis wrings his wrists.

"Let's... wait on that." Zayn drawls. "Like, let's see if we can calm you down without the use of substances."

Louis stops in his tracks, making him slightly dizzy. "What do you suggest?"

"Have you finished your German book?" Zayn asks.

"I finished it last night. All my crosswords are completed. I'm fucking sick of Sudoku. I've read all my Italian books. I'm not in the mood for music or video games. I know all the songs we're playing for tomorrow by heart on the guitar. I'm sick of fucking chess. The grocery shopping is done, and I cleaned the house already because I couldn't wait till tomorrow." Louis changes his course to up and down the porch steps and along the railing.

"So go on a run." Zayn suggests.

Louis snorts.

"Do you mind if I sing a solo tomorrow?" He asks.

"Great idea!" Zayn claps his hands together. "Do you want back-up vocals or piano?"

"I dunno. Depends on what song I sing." Louis says.

"Pick a new song so you can learn it tonight. You're making me tired with all the pacing." Zayn waves his hand in the air.

Louis thinks through all the songs he is familiar with. He should get a second opinion and ask Harry.

"Zayn!" Louis stops and puts a hand on the porch railing.

"What?" Zayn asks with exasperation.

"I'm going to invite Harry to Blue Grounds tomorrow." Louis decides. "You should invite Brooke."

"Sure." Zayn pulls out his phone to text Brooke.

Louis unpockets his phone to text Harry.

**So, Z and I are playing at Blue Grounds tomorrow evening. Would you be interested in coming? Brooke will be there too.**

He locks his phone and resumes pacing at twice the speed he was before. God, maybe he should go on a run. He has so much fucking pent up energy that's just not going away. Harry texts him back and he reads the text.

**Absolutely! :)**

Louis breathes a sigh of relief and feels like he has more purpose now. He's glad that Harry is willing to jump out of their awkward phase. Well, Louis' awkward phase. Awkward and avoiding phase. Fuck, Louis is the problematic one here. Bless Harry's understanding heart.

**I need to choose a song to sing. Any suggestions?**

For whatever reason, it feels like Louis' whole life depends on Harry's answer back. Which is a rather concerning thought in and of itself because he thinks that means he needs to seriously reevaluate his long term priories and goals. Harry graces him with a quick response.

**Something that tells me more about you.**

Louis' heart stops a little and he chews on the inside of his cheek. "Zayn?"

"Louis?"

"Should I tell him?" Louis asks.

"Only you can decide that." Zayn says.

"I want to. But I don't. You know? What if it's too soon? We don't really know each other super well. I don't even know how many family members he has." Louis says.

Zayn lets out an airy chuckle. "You know there's only one way to change that."

Louis licks his lips and types a reply.

**Only if you do the same afterwards.**

Louis determinedly sits his ass down on the couch and heaves the guitar into his lap. He moves the capo and starts plucking on some strings, humming to find the key he wants. He finds the tone he's looking for and plays around with patterns until he finds one that's comfortable. His phone buzzes.

**I'm a boring person.**

Louis shakes his head.

**I'll bet you $10 you can't put me to sleep with your boring life.**

Harry responds only moments later.

**Did you just invite me for a sleepover? ;)**

Louis squints at his phone. "That was unexpected."

"What?" Zayn looks up from his phone.

Louis shows Zayn the offending text.

"I'm not playing mediator for you two again. This is your relationship with Harry. You figure out how to control it." Zayn waves Louis away.

Louis has to take a moment to shake out his palms and clear his brain and amp himself up. He feels like a knight charging forward into battle with the amount of bravery he musters up.

**Hmm... You talk the talk. But would you walk the walk?**

This will keep Louis' dignity safe for a moment. Harry could be, after all, completely kidding. Maybe Harry gets fantastic joy in teasing the shit out of Louis.

Harry's response pops up.

**Would I actually sleep over at my two, very attractive boss's flat? I think that's a no brainer :)**

Alright. So they're moving into less flirty and more forward now. This is good. Flirty is difficult to decipher in the first place. There's a fleeting thought that crosses through his mind and makes him wonder if Harry's only interested in him because he's his boss, _but_ , he supposes he can ask Harry about it tomorrow. He doesn't think Harry's like that anyway. Then again...

He stops the train of thought there and texts Harry back.

**Well make sure you get permission from mumsy so I don't get arrested, and don't forget a toothbrush because I will not be sharing mine!**

Louis hopes the mother comment isn't crossing the line, but thinks Harry knows him well enough by now to know that he's not being condescending about it. Just making light of a previously sensitive situation.

Well fuck. That's why it's a sensitive situation in the first place, is because so many people make light of it. God damn it, this is why he never-

He opens the incoming text from Harry.

**You wouldn't share your toothbrush with me? :'(**

Okay, now that's cute.

The truth is, Louis would probably let Harry do whatever the fuck he wanted with his toothbrush, including, but not limited to brushing his teeth. It's getting late though, and if Louis wants to have his song perfect by tomorrow he needs to start practicing exactly right now.

**Maybe you can make me change my mind tomorrow ;). I need to practice my song though, so I'll see you tomorrow!**

"He's sleeping over tomorrow!" Louis smiles and leans to bite Zayn's shoulder.

"You guys are so fucking abnormal." Zayn laughs.

"What do you mean?" Louis furrows his eyebrows.

"Oh I dunno. Normal people firstly don't 'invite' others over for a sleep over. It's usually something that happens either on a whim or like, is an unspoken thing that ends up happening. Secondly, like, you start out by inviting him to a bar, then end up with predetermining that he'll be staying the night. Which then loops back to my first point." Zayn twirls his finger in a circle to emphasize his opinion.

Louis shrugs. "I thought I was just being considerate. I mean, he brought it up."

Zayn pulls a face. "You know most people flirt just to flirt? Like, completely not planning on following through with half of what they say, and only saying it to rile the other person up so they can get in each other's pants sooner."

"Well that's stupid and makes no sense to me. Like, why bring up stuff that you don't plan on doing anything about? Why lead someone on without the intent of following through with it?" Louis asks.

"Because that's how everyone else in society runs. Not everyone is as considerate and sincere as you two. You both take things quite seriously." Zayn says.

Louis drops his hands from the guitar. "Is that bad?"

Zayn shakes his head. "Not at all. It's like you two are from a fucking chick flick though. If I'm being completely honest, I'm a bit envious."

Louis sets a hand on Zayn's thigh. "I..." Louis really doesn't know what to say because as far as he's always thought, Zayn has had Shirley temples with a cherry on top of each one of his relationships. "I'm sorry." Louis finally says.

Zayn laughs. "Don't be sorry. Take it and run with it. Don't let it go." Zayn gives him a soft smile. "I'm going to bed. I love you."

"Love you too." Louis gives him a kiss goodnight and is left alone on the porch.

He checks his phone and sees that he has a text from Harry that just says 'see you tomorrow' and it makes Louis feel like his toes are being dipped in cold water.

Louis pockets his phone and turns all of his attention to his guitar. He practices the chord changes over and over again until he thinks his calluses might have a new layer over top and until he knows exactly the notes his voice will be hitting.

An hour and a half later, Louis yawns and feels satisfied with his work. He goes into his room to set his guitar back on its stand and strips down to his briefs.

He thinks that Jerry would be happy for him right now, and wishes he could tell him everything that's been happening. He wonders how Jerry would have treated Perry and if they would have been best friends. He wishes he could ask Jerry all the rhetorical questions that he doesn't want to bother Zayn with and could vent to Jerry about society being weird, and him and Harry being perfectly normal.

All of these thoughts make him happy though, and he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

~~~


	15. Chapter 14

 

~~~

Sunday morning makes Louis feel like it's prom night. All day there's a slight edge of nerves for the main event later that night. He makes it to lunch without any awkward conversations or encounters with Harry. Things seem to be back on track and there is hope for Louis yet.

"So Harry, you excited for the show tonight?" Zayn looks across the table at Harry.

Brooke looks put off and speaks up, even though Harry has opened his mouth to reply. "I'm personally really excited about it. Harry and I were texting last night, and he's actually hanging out with me beforehand. You know, so he doesn't have to drive two extra hours today."

Louis squints his eyebrows. He should have thought of that when inviting Harry. How impolite of him.

However, Harry's reaction looks very much like it's the first time he's heard this information and is struggling to come up with a courteous response. Louis has known many types of people, and Brooke is looking more and more like the kind of person who uses subtle manipulation to achieve her motives; which, at the moment, seem to be attempting to make Zayn jealous.

Louis makes a split second decision and decides to jump in. "Is he? I thought I remember asking him to stay late today to help with closing. Wasn't that today Harry?"

Harry's eyes go big as he looks at Louis. He nods slowly and his eyes flick back and forth between Louis'. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry Brooke. I actually forgot about that. I knew I had something..."

Brooke rolls her eyes and snorts. "Fine. I had better plans anyway with much cooler people. So I'll just meet you lot at Blue Grounds."

Louis can't kick the feeling that he's forgetting something. The thought has been there since this morning, but what the hell is it?

"Babe, you know you can hang with me if you want beforehand." Zayn says mundanely.

"Do you mean 'hang', or 'get me naked'? Because right now, I'm not interested in either." Brooke puts her nose in the air.

Harry buries his face in his salad, seemingly trying to hide from the fight in front of him, and Louis is going through his yesterday and today trying to put a name to the missing slot in his brain.

"Shh. Brooke. There are kids around. We can do whatever you want. Or we don't have to do anything if you're going to give me attitude about it." Zayn says.

"'Attitude'? You think I'm giving you attitude? I'm not giving you attitude. I just want you to just give me any kind of validation that I'm important to you." Brooke pushes her food tray away from her body.

"Babe, you are important to me." Zayn raises his eyebrows sympathetically.

Louis has cleaned the house. He's practiced his songs. He's showered and washed his clothes. The inventory for the Platitat is ordered. What the fuck is it?

"If I was _important_ to you, you wouldn't have a _problem_ touching me in public." Brooke sneers.

"We're at work. In front of coworkers. In front of children and the public... in our uniforms." Zayn explains.

Maybe Louis needs a smoke. Maybe it will help him remember-

"Oh shit!" Louis says.

Zayn and Harry immediately shush him.

"Crap, sorry. I just remembered." Louis shakes his head to himself and pulls out his phone.

**Hey Nialler. Sorry I'm a bastard and forgot to pick up yesterday. Can I stop by after work?**

Louis can remember things. Sometimes it takes him a minute; but he can remember.

"It shouldn't matter to you if you love me!" Brooke raises her voice.

Louis' eyes jerk up from his phone to watch Zayn's reaction, and it seems that Harry is caught terribly off guard with the accusation of love too and watches Zayn.

Zayn's face contorts and Louis knows exactly what that means. In Zayn's defense, he's keeping himself quite composed-

Zayn loses it and he laughs. Louis laughs because Zayn is laughing because Brooke thinks Zayn actually loves her. Harry shoves his mouth full of lettuce, presumably to prevent from laughing because he's probably gathered the subtext of the conversation too.

Brooke huffs and the chair screeches backwards as she sulks out of the Beastro.

Zayn's laughter stops and he mutters a curse word under his breath.

"Need me to smooth that one over for you?" Louis offers.

"Nah, I got it. She's all hot air really." Zayn lazily gets up from the table to recycle his waste.

Louis' phone vibrates with a text back from Niall.

**Tsk tsk Tommo! Just text me when you're on your way. I'll make sure to have some.**

Niall really is the best. They mutually put up with each other's shit.

**Thanks so much Niall, I owe you.**

"Is he your, er-" Harry lowers his voice to a whisper. "Dealer?"

Louis looks up from his phone at Harry who looks thoroughly intrigued. Louis holds a finger to his lips and leans closer to Harry, motioning for Harry to lean in closer too. "We actually call him The Feudal Communist Lord of Cannabis."

Harry tries to nod his head nonchalantly. "Oh. Okay." Louis has to hold back from laughing.

"Only those in his very close circles get to call him Niall." Louis keeps it going.

Harry looks at Louis like his hair has suddenly morphed into spaghetti. "You must be really trustworthy then. You've known him for a long time?"

Louis nods his head solemnly. "We're blood brothers."

"Wow." Harry breathes out.

Louis decides he loves the look of awe on Harry's face. So he decides to let Harry continue to believe that Niall is a feared drug lord and goes back to eating.

Harry sits forward in his seat and stabs a walnut in his salad. "By the way, thank you for that. With Brooke and all."

Louis shrugs. "No problem. You looked a bit like a fish out of water, so I figured I'd give you an out if you needed it."

"Yeah. Honestly I didn't agree to anything with her. I was texting her last night and she kept asking me to hang out and I told her I would if I didn't have anything else to do. Then this morning I told her I had errands to run so that she would stop bugging me about it." Harry scoops some feta cheese onto a spinach leaf before putting it in his mouth.

"Interesting. She did make me feel bad though. I forgot that you guys leave earlier than Zayn and I, therefore giving you a way bigger gap of time between work and the show. I don't know what your plans were, but if you want, you can shower and change at mine and Zayn's, then just come with us." Louis offers.

"Um... do you mind if I get back to you on that?" Harry bites his lip.

"Yeah, no problem. Whatever works easiest for you." Louis realizes he should probably eat before his lunch hour is over and sticks some fries in his mouth.

He notices Harry trying to surreptitiously sneak his phone under the table, and open up a text. Louis acts interested in his food, but watches Harry's screen from the corner of his eye. He makes out that Harry is texting his mom and letting her know he won't be coming home after work. Louis has to look away to keep from smiling at Harry.

Louis manages to eat his veggie burger before Harry speaks up again. "I would love to go over to your and Zayn's after work if it's still okay with you."

Louis nods. "Of course cutie. I'm glad mom approves." Louis winks and stands up to throw his empty plate away.

Harry jumps up behind him with a rouge flaring up on his cheeks.

They walk back to the Platitat without saying anything else and Louis pops some gum into his mouth. When they open the door and round the corner into the sectioned off area, they stumble upon Zayn snogging Brooke against the prep table.

Louis and Harry look at each other and clasp their hands over their mouths to keep from making any noise in surprise.

Louis grabs Harry's hand as they sneak around to the pond area then Harry snorts out in laughter.

When the laughter dies down, Louis realizes he's still holding Harry's hand. Harry seems to have just noticed it to, as they're both staring at where their hands are intertwined.

"Sorry." Louis quickly retracts it away, and then looks to see if any guests had seen the physical interaction. It seems to be pretty empty on the other side of the glass, and those that were passing by didn't seem to be stopping since the platypodes are all burrowed into their holes.

"No, you're fine. I'm sorry." Harry takes a step away from Louis.

"You didn't do anything." Louis says.

"Well you didn't do anything either." Harry replies.

Louis seems to find himself in odd conversations with Harry more often than not. It's not that it's difficult to have a conversation with him. It's just that the conversations never go the way he quite expects them to. "Well then I guess there's no need for either of us to apologize." Louis says.

Harry scuffs a foot on the ground. "I used to go snipe hunting when I went to scout camp as a teenager."

This is case in point about their conversations, Louis chuckles to himself. "And how did that go?"

"Well, I've always been really into animals and known a lot of the basics about species and whatnot. I told them that snipes are birds that don't live in the mountains because they live in the wetlands." Harry explains.

Louis is very curious to know where this story is going, and also thinks about how Harry probably struggled for years to fit in with the other boys at scout camp. He nods for Harry to continue.

Harry continues. "So they told me that I was confused because snipes in the mountains are small rodents that you have to flush out with a flashlight and a bag of rocks. There were about four older boys who had done it before, and they were trying to convince me and another boy, Isaiah, to come hunting with them."

"So did you?" Louis vividly recalls the one time he went with Zayn to a scout camp and got talked into snipe hunting. The night ended with Louis and Zayn being teased relentlessly because they had been so gullible.

"Yes. I was very skeptical at first because I've always been really distrustful of strangers trying to convince me of something until I've done some research on the topic. Again, it comes from people teasing me about not going to public school. But I also realized that you can't build trust with someone unless you give it to them first." Harry says. "And I hadn't studied a lot on rodents, so I had no knowledge to rely on."

Louis thinks Harry is incredibly wise for his young age.

"But after we were out for about five minutes, I realized that it was just a silly camp trick. Isaiah was totally into it and trying to find a snipe the whole time. I still acted engrossed into it as well, because otherwise they continue with the lies until they have you 'convinced.' We got back to camp that night and Isaiah cried when the teasing started. I just stood there and took it because I was prepared for it. It's not the first time that it had happened, and I know it won't be the last." Harry finishes.

Louis scratches the back of his neck. "So why did you tell me this story?"

"I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Everyone deserves a chance to be trusted." Harry sighs. "My point is, I don't always know at first when I'm being made fun of, but I always figure it out. Sometimes it takes me a couple minutes and sometimes it takes me a couple days. But I know that Niall is probably just your friend. I'm fine with being a good sport about it, but please don't take me for a fool."

"I'm sorry..." Humbled, Louis believes, would be the proper term for what he feels. "I didn't mean to come off as condescending. If I'm being honest, I just think it's really cute when you believe what I say. I guess, _flattering_ , would be the right way to put it. I'm flattered that you would give me your trust that easily. I shouldn't have abused it- especially after you telling me that it's one of your sensitive points. So, I'm sorry."

Harry smile makes rainbows look like they should change to being upside down. "It's okay. I just wanted to let you know."

Zayn and Brooke appear from the prep table area. Zayn emulates coolness and control and Brooke looks like she's been put in her place. Louis will never fully understand the inner workings of Zayn in relationships, but that's okay with him.

Zayn clasps his hands together. "Shall we get ready for the next presentation then?"

~~~


	16. Chapter 15

~~~

"Harry and Brooke, you are both excused for the day. See you later." Zayn announces.

"Oh, erm, Louis asked me to stay later, remember?" Harry says.

"Right then. Looks like it's early out for me! See you back at the flat!" Zayn and Brooke punch out their time cards and Brooke follows behind him out the door.

"So, what can I do to help? You can sit down if you need, and I'll just do everything." Harry offers.

"Honestly we're basically done. Zayn and I normally just do other chores like taking out the trash and pulling out frozen food to thaw, but the trash is fine and there's enough food for tomorrow. You can clock us both out." Louis says.

Harry picks up their time cards. "Louis?"

"Yeah?" Louis leans onto the prep table to massage his temples more.

"Your time card has a time punched in every day for the last two weeks." Harry says.

"And...?" Louis wishes Harry would get to the point. He's obviously the type to ask dozens of questions and give lots of anecdotes when getting or giving new information. Which is great, because curious youths are the bright future for tomorrow.

But it's the afternoon and Louis is a little impatient.

"When do you have a day off?" Harry asks.

"When I need one." Louis states.

"You've worked every day the last two weeks?" Harry sounds baffled.

"Longer than that. Conner has my other time cards, but I think I've been on for three months now. Not my longest streak without a break, but not my shortest one either." Louis says. He massages behind his ears. Isn't there a pressure point there or something?

"That's horrible! Why does Conner make you do that?" Harry is appalled.

"He doesn't make me do anything. We've had it arranged like this since he hired me on after uni. I literally had nothing to do with my life, and needed a reason to- well- I needed something to keep me busy every day because I honestly had nothing else going for me at the time. This is my life. And when I need a break, I just let Conner know and he lets me do my thing until I'm done." Louis explains patiently.

"Wow. So how long of breaks do you normally take? And does Zayn do the same thing?" Harry asks.

"How about let's walk and talk at the same time? I really need to get to Niall's." Louis grabs his phone and keys. Harry grabs his backpack and follows Louis out the door. Louis locks it behind them.

"Where did you park?" Louis asks as they enter the car lot.

"Just over there." Harry points to a rusted champagne Honda Civic. "D'you want me to just follow you?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Just ride with me. Your car will be fine here." Louis says and walks them over to his car. Louis opens up the passenger side for Harry. "Do you mind if I stop by Niall's first?"

"Thanks!" Harry sits down and buckles his seatbelt. "And that's fine."

Louis smiles and walks around to the other side. He sits in his seat and pulls out his pack of cigarettes then lights one in his mouth. "Will it bother you if I smoke?"

"No, it's fine. You smoke in your car?" Harry asks.

"You're extremely inquisitive this afternoon." Louis states. He shuffles through his CD's until settling on a Death Cab for Cutie album since he knows Harry likes them.

Harry lowers his head. "Sorry."

"No need to apologize. I'm just not much of an afternoon person. I should apologize really." Louis says. He rolls down the window and sunroof and puts his car in reverse.

"So that's why it doesn't smell like smoke in here? Because you only do it with the windows open?" Harry asks.

Louis takes a long drag before answering. "That is correct."

"Okay. Sorry. I'll stop talking." Harry says.

"You're fine." Louis says between drags.

He waits until he's done with his cigarette, then puts it out in his ashtray. He lights another one at a stop sign. He dislikes that Niall lives out a bit further than he does.

"To answer your earlier questions, yes Zayn does the same as me. Though he takes days off more frequently than myself. As for how long the breaks are, it depends on what's going on. I took a three month break once to travel. Sometimes I take off a week, and sometimes only a day. Just depends." Louis says, expecting a firehose of questions from Harry. "He pays me under the table for all the overtime."

Harry, however, just nods instead of asking anything. Then fidgets with his seatbelt. Then taps his fingers on his lap and picks at the side seam of his shorts. "May I have some gum?"

Louis cracks a smile. "You ask so confidently like you assume I'm made of gum."

Harry bites his lip.

Louis lifts his bum up to get better access to his front pocket and fishes out his packet of gum. He hands it to Harry.

Harry looks warily at the gum, then unwraps a piece and sticks it in his mouth. He inspects the packet and looks at Louis.

"What?" Louis asks.

"Can I ask you a question?" Harry unwraps the stick of gum then puts it into his mouth.

"Harry, you really don't need to preface every question with a question." Louis holds a hand out to take the gum back.

"Sorry." Harry sets the packet in his hand. "Why aspartame free gum?"

Louis works the packet back into his pocket. "Because it's healthier for you."

Harry snorts. "I mean, I _know_ that. I meant like... why do you care about something as menial as gum, or like, being a vegetarian?"

"Because every little choice you make can affect greater health issues." Louis says.

Harry fidgets with his seatbelt again, then picks at the hem of his shirt.

"Are you uncomfortable, or just trying to keep yourself from asking more questions?" Louis asks.

Harry sighs. "Sorry. I can- well, I'll ask you after Niall's."

Louis pulls into Niall's driveway next to Niall's Escalade. He wonders why it isn't parked in the garage. "You're welcome to join me or stay here. Whatever you're most comfortable with."

Harry's eyes look around frantically as if trying to manifest the proper response for the situation from the universe. Louis thinks from what he already knows about Harry, he's probably a little scared, but doesn't want to come off as being naive.

"Come on. Let me introduce you to Niall. He's really nice and it'll be 10 minutes at most." Louis offers a comforting smile.

Harry jumps out from the car and follows closely behind Louis, spitting his gum on the grass on his way up to the door.

Louis stops and Harry bumps into the back of him.

"Oof! Sorry!" Harry takes a rapid step back.

"No worries." Louis kneels down to pick up the littered ball of gum from the grass, not minding much that it had previously been in Harry's mouth. Louis has, after all, had platypus shit all over his hands before. There's not much that scares him anymore. Anyway, it's Harry. He likes Harry. And his mouth.

Louis takes the time to open his car again, find a spare paper to wrap the gum in, and then disposes of it in his mini car trash bag. He wipes his hands off on his shorts that probably end up dirtying them more than anything, and resumes his place on the front porch.

"Sorry." Harry squeaks out from next to him.

Louis waves a hand at him. "It's fine."

Louis knocks on the door and there's silence. He scuffs his foot on the welcome mat waiting for Niall.

He knocks again louder and longer. There's a loud eruption of high pitched barks.

He hears the thick Irish accent from behind the door, and Niall appears shirtless in sweats with really disheveled hair.

"Louis! How are ya cunt? You said you'd text me when you were on your way, so I was er... busy..." Niall adjusts his crotch. "But come in!" The little dogs are yapping and jumping up at Louis and Harry.

"Sorry. I... forgot; and give my apologies to Barbara." Louis steps through the doorway and motions for Harry to follow. "This is Harry by the way." Harry looks like he has significantly calmed down upon seeing that Niall is not some intimidating tattooed drug lord with an Uzi in his pants.

Harry sticks out his hand for Niall to shake. "Louis told me to call you The Feudal Communist Lord of Cannabis."

Niall bursts out into laughter and slaps Harry on the shoulder. "Oh God! Louis, you work with this fellow?"

Louis smiles, glad that Harry is keeping it light, and rests a hand on Harry's shoulder without thinking. "Yeah. He keeps things entertaining for us."

Niall raises an eyebrow and eyes Louis' hand where his recently was. "Good lad." Niall ushers them into his kitchen. "How's Zayn?"

"Bored. He's fucking around with the intern." Louis sits on the barstool.

"So Harry, you work in a different department than Louis?" Niall opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water for Louis. "What's your poison?"

"Just water's fine." Harry sits on the stool next to Louis. "And no, I intern in the platypus exhibit with Louis and Zayn."

"So you're fucking around with Zayn?" Niall tosses a water bottle to Louis and Harry.

"What? No." Harry blushes and fumbles to catch the bottle. "The other intern, er, Brooke, is."

Louis chuckles.

"I see." Niall looks between the two. "Let me go grab the goods for you." He leaves the kitchen. The scratching of the three little dogs nails against the hardwood floor echo through the large kitchen as they follow Niall into another room.

Harry drinks from his water bottle. "So." He wipes the droplets off of his lips and looks to Louis. "Niall's Irish?"

"Yeah. He moved here when he was 10, but his accent's never gone away. His older sister moved back to Ireland a couple years ago, but he loves his business here and doesn't want to go back." Louis explains.

"He's really nice." Harry nods. "I wasn't expecting water and such. And he has a nice house and car..."

Louis wants to make endless jokes about what Harry could have been expecting, but Harry's sensitivity would probably not appreciate it. He sighs. "Niall doesn't want a bunch of people showing up at his door step for 10 second deals- it's basically the quickest way to get the neighbors to call the cops on you. Sometimes we'll stay for a couple hours and Barbara will make dinner or sommat. He turns his clients into friends with mutual trust, then it doesn't look shady to the neighbors, and his clientele is more loyal."

Harry looks at Louis like he's explaining rocket science. "And Barbara is his...?"

"Person." Louis supplies.

"His person?" Harry asks.

"His person." Louis confirms.

Harry nods and takes a drink. Then he taps his fingers on his thigh. Louis knows what's coming next. "So like-?"

"She's lived here the last five years. They're in an open relationship." Louis unscrews the cap off his bottle and takes a drink.

Niall enters the kitchen still shirtless, but with a snapback on and a baggie in his hands. "Sorry it took so long. Had to sort in the hash. Here ya are." He gives the bag to Louis. "Tell Zayn I got a gift for him when I was in Aruba and I'll give it to him when he comes on Saturday."

Louis pulls out his wallet and hands Niall more than the normal price. "Do you mind if I fix a quick spliff here?" Knowing that Niall would already say yes, Louis fishes out a cigarette and opens up the bag.

Niall pockets the money then rips off a paper towel square for Louis. "Be my guest. By the way, Barbie's wantin' to barbie with you, Zayn, and the rest of the friends in the next couple o' weeks here." He rummages through some drawers before giving Louis a pen.

"That'd be great, what day are you guys planning it?" Louis asks, disassembling the pen.

Harry watches with the concentration necessary for Fruit Ninja as Louis empties the cigarette, then re-packs it using the inside of the pen with weed and tobacco and twist the tip.

"Not sure yet. You guys playin' at Blue Grounds every Sunday?" Niall hops up onto the counter.

"Nah. We don't have another show for a couple weeks. I'll tell Z to plan for it." Louis stands up and stretches, putting the spliff between his lips. "Thank you so much, you're a fucking savior." He cleans up the mess and throws away the paper towel.

"They don't call me The Lord of Cannabis for nothing." Niall shoots a wink at Harry who grins back like he's actually the sun.

"It was really good to meet you Niall. Thanks for letting us in, and... I promise I won't tell anyone." Harry stands up to shake Niall's hand.

Niall bursts into laughter again and turns to Louis. "Oh my- is he for real?" Harry looks to Louis for where he went wrong.

Louis smiles and bites back a laugh. Not because Harry is something to laugh over, but because he truly is adorable. Everyone loves laughing at adorable things. Like platypodes, for example.

"Homeschooled." Louis explains.

Niall's amused expression fills the room and he laughs again. "Right. Well have fun with that." He hops off the countertop and returns Harry's handshake. "Harry, it was a pleasure. Stop by any time and let me know if you ever need some. I'm always stocked-"

Louis cuts in. "Harry doesn't do drugs."

Harry and Niall both shoot him a quizzical look, and Harry speaks up too confidently. "I've done drugs."

"Not as innocent as he looks, aye?" Niall muses.

Louis furrows his eyebrows and looks to Harry, whose face is impassive. "Hmm. Maybe not. Anyway, we're both still coated in platypus shit and really need a shower, so I'll see you later."

Niall walks them to the door. "See you 'round."

Harry follows Louis out the door.

"Later mate." Louis waves and steps off the porch to light the spliff. He tilts his head back to release the smoke from his mouth, then walks Harry to the car and opens the door for him again.

They're both in the car and Louis pulls out of the driveway. Harry taps his fingers on the side of his thigh and looks out the window distractedly. Louis smiles.

"Ask away young Harry. But first, please tell me why you lied to Niall." Louis says.

Harry huffs and leans an elbow against the window armrest. "I didn't lie."

"What drugs did you do?" Louis asks, not fully believing him.

Harry stays silent.

Louis thinks maybe he's embarrassed with whichever answer is the true one. "I won't judge either way. Just curious."

"Rohypnol." Harry says.

Louis coughs on the smoke in his mouth. "Roofies?" Louis looks at Harry. "Was this of your own accord?" He has to watch the road, but he keeps glancing over at Harry.

"No." Harry says, still looking out the window.

"Shit. Did- are you..." Louis is hit with a bewildered sorrow for Harry, followed by immense frustration that terrible people exist in this world. He calms himself and remembers that getting upset over it won't get him or Harry anywhere. "I'm sorry that happened. God, that's fucking horrible."

"It is what it is." Harry sighs. "It was a while ago anyway."

Louis doesn't really know if that's an opening for him to ask questions or Harry trying to end the conversation. He figures he'll let Harry keep his past to himself until he's comfortable enough to talk about it. Though there's something that makes Louis feel like no one has a right to know those things about Harry, including himself. Louis wouldn't ever ask Harry to resurface traumatizing memories just for his sake.

Louis pulls into his side of the carport and locks the car after Harry gets out with his backpack. He drops his smoked spliff in the ashtray outside his side door, then unlocks it for Harry.

Zayn is in the kitchen with an apron on, cooking something delicious smelling while singing to Steve Miller Band.

Louis kick his shoes off, and Harry copies him. "So, this is the humble abode. Zayn's permanent place is barefoot in my kitchen and he always has a hot meal ready for me when I get done with my long day at work." Louis tosses his wallet and keys into their designated 'key and wallet dish' on the counter. "Isn't that right Zaynie?" Louis gives Zayn a hug from behind and snuggles into his back.

"Absolutely sugar buns. Glad to see your afternoon attitude gone so I can have my lover back." Zayn flips a fish fillet in the skillet. "I see you brought home a stray."

Louis scoffs. "Harry is far from a stray. This is now his house too because he's moving in." He opens up the freezer to pull out another fillet for Harry. "And we're going to shower. Please put this on for him."

Zayn laughs and waves the spatula in the air. "Congratulations! Didn't realize you two made it so far in only a day. Don't be lazy and use soap- the lube and condoms are in my nightstand if you need them." He points to Harry who is furiously blushing and grinning.

"Welcome home, and don't think Zayn makes food for free. You can pay rent with money or sexual favors." Louis throws a wink to Harry.

"Looks like we'll need to keep the goods in Zayn's nightstand for tonight then... Sorry Louis." Harry bites his lips to hold back a grin.

Louis and Zayn laugh, and Louis is pleased that Harry is comfortable. It feels more like home with Harry here.

Zayn gives Harry a high five and Louis grabs Harry's backpack. "Come on, let me show you around." Louis jerks his head towards the connecting living room.

Harry sashays to Louis. "I like it so far."

"Good." Louis says. "So this is our living room. No shoes allowed so that we can feel bacteria free whilst tromping around in our skivvies at night. The wood-burning fireplace is in full working condition, but we try not to use it too much since it's bad for the environment." Louis points to the corner of the room where there is a three meter pile of folded blankets. "When it gets too cold in the winter, then that's what we have blankets for!"

Harry's eyebrows raise to his hairline. "That's some really impressive dedication."

"We don't half ass anything around here Harry. Unless of course our balls are in danger of severe temperatures. Then we make an exception." Louis says as he motions towards his crotch.

"You know, for the future offspring." Zayn adds from the kitchen.

Louis nods. "For the future offspring."

Harry looks between the two and smiles.

Louis motions towards the hall. "Two bedrooms two bathrooms. I, of course, habituate the master suite here on the right." Louis opens his door to show his room.

There's a queen sized bed with a rumpled navy blue duvet over the top and one pillow. The same t-shirt and sweats that Louis puts on every day after work are laid across the bed. The headboard doubles as a bookshelf that is filled with dozens of books and photo frames. The nightstand is scattered with supplement bottles and Sudoku books, and a large map is pinned to the wall.

There's an armoire that looks like it hardly gets used with more framed photos on top. Louis' guitar sits on its stand in the corner, and pile of newspapers next to that, with an extra comforter folded close by.

"I like it." Harry states. "Very homey."

"Thank you." Louis smiles at Harry's approval of his room. "Across the hall here, is Zayn's room." Louis opens up Zayn's door.

Harry drops his backpack on the floor to run and jumps onto Zayn's bed in a starfish position. Louis wants to jump on top of him. "Mmm! I think I'll sleep here tonight." Harry rolls onto his stomach and smirks at Louis.

"Good luck with that. Zayn's the biggest bed hog you'll ever meet. The bed is barely big enough for him." Louis strokes the facial hair on his chin.

Harry rests his chin on his hands. "Well I think- oh shit!" Harry clambers off the bed. "Sorry, I just realized my clothes are filthy. Sorry. I can wash this for him."

Louis waves his hand dismissively. "I promise you he's done the same hundreds of times. Anyway, Zayn's shower is just through the door there, and I'll go grab a towel for you."

"Thanks!" Harry skips into the bathroom and turns on the shower.

Louis is rounding the corner of the hall into the living room when Zayn runs into him. Louis clings to Zayn's torso to prevent from falling over, but instead brings Zayn to the ground with him, both landing with an 'oomph'.

"Alright there?" Zayn asks from below Louis. It would seem that Zayn had changed the music from Steve Miller Band to Queen.

Louis sits up and straddles Zayn. "Quite! Just trying to find a towel for Harry. Do you remember who did laundry last? And if we have any clean towels?" Louis looks up to the ceiling, hoping for an answer to appear from there and trickle onto his face.

"Hmm." Zayn rubs his hands on Louis' thighs. "I believe I did them last Thursday. We should have one or two in the hall closet."

"Excellent!" Louis jumps off Zayn like a frog and Zayn smacks his ass.

"Hurry up. The foods almost ready." Zayn calls from behind him.

"Kay!" Louis opens the hall closet and sees a daddy long leg in the corner run up its web into the dark. Louis is partly flattered that the spider felt safe enough to create its home here, but partly bothered that it would prefer his house over its natural habitat. He wonders if he were a spider, where he would seek out shelter.

He picks out the fluffier looking towel of the two and drapes it over his arm, then shines his phone light on the daddy long leg and scoops it up with his hand. The spider crawls frantically around his hand and Louis swivels it to watch the little guy run around. Nothing feels as delicate as the soft touch of a spider.

He heads to the window in Zayn's room to release the spider back into the wild when the bathroom door opens. He turns his head and it's almost feels like slow motion, Louis thinks. There's a large cloud of steam that escapes and Louis can hear Don't Stop Me Now coming from the kitchen. The vapor seems to dissipate from the air and take residence in Louis' brain as he's assaulted with the sinful view of Harry becoming clearer.

Harry had, apparently, already found a towel and wrapped it dangerously low around his hipbones. Water drips down his torso that is adorned with a watercolor fish and kelp tattooed onto his sex lines. His skin is flushed and his lips a dark red from the heat of the shower. Harry's hands wipe water from his eyes and then trail upward to rake fingers through his wet hair.

Louis feels like he's been scouring the Outback for years and forgot that water was something more than a mere allegory of life. Only in this case, water is sex. Like, fuck, he's not one that's even horny that often, but it hits him just how sexually worked up Harry gets him. He can relate all too well to Freddy Mercury at the moment because his body is sex machine ready to reload.

Louis is in the abyss of ravishing Harry in his mind, when he is painfully ripped away from his reverie at Harry's loud shriek.

He blinks and sees Harry now on the floor, towel still miraculously covering him. Louis would of course know, since his mind processes that over questioning why Harry is on the floor in the first place.

Louis opens his mouth to say something, maybe ask if Harry is okay or ask what's wrong, but Zayn is at the doorway, alarmed as to why Harry is screaming in their house.

Louis turns to Zayn for help, but Zayn promptly shrieks out and trips over the door jamb trying to run back into the kitchen.

"Holy fucking shit! Louis! _Louis_!" Harry's panicking into a corner and pointing. Harry is looking at him like he's a lion. Which, Louis thinks, is not too far from what he feels at the moment because that would make Harry a gazelle and-

He's getting off track again.

"What?!" Louis looks down at himself trying to determine what is so offensive and causing so much mayhem.

"There's a huge fucking spider on your neck!" Harry yells.

Zayn appears at the doorway again with a fly swatter. "Don't move! Don't fucking move, I got it!"

Zayn leaps towards Louis, who holds up his hands to stop Zayn. "No! No, no, no! It's okay! I was just setting him free! Calm down or you'll freak him out!" Louis steps towards the window to open it.

He scoops the daddy long leg back into his hand and lets it out on the window sill. Its long legs tickle Louis as it scampers out the window and over into the neighbors' garage.

Well, he can't say he didn't try.

He turns his attention back to Zayn and Harry. Harry is holding the towel around his waist with one hand, and the other is used to balance himself against the wall as he stands back up. Louis hopes his towel spontaneously dissolves.

Zayn has dropped the fly swatter and is ogling at Harry. Harry notices Zayn's staring and smirks at him. Louis thinks Harry is actually a smug bastard underneath the initial layer of social ineptness, and he likes it a lot.

"Like what you see?" Harry wiggles his eyebrows at Zayn and tugs downward at the top of his towel; and holy _fuck_ , Louis never expects Harry to be so sexually confident, but he supposes this isn't the first time he's been surprised by it either.

"I-" Zayn's mouth slowly opens and he clasps his hands together and lowers them, index fingers pointing towards Harry. "Dinner is ready." With that, he turns on his heels to seek shelter in the kitchen.

Harry looks to Louis with nothing less than malicious intentions in his eyes. Louis suddenly feels like he's the one standing naked in front of Harry instead of vice versa.

"You are something else, Harry Styles." It's the most intelligent and truthful thing Louis can think to say at the moment.

Harry shrugs like he wasn't just screaming over a daddy long leg less than two minutes ago. "I like surprising people."

"Consider us surprised." Louis offers a tight grin to hide his rush of wanton towards Harry. "I'll just be... cleaning up..." He turns to leave into his room.

The door shuts behind him and he sheds his clothes immediately because it's honestly too hot in here. The shower starts, and once it's warm, Louis lets the hot water relax his muscles. He's starting to get a bit worn down. He'll probably ask Conner for a day off this week or next.

He cleans himself off and his mind can't kick the image of Harry in a towel out of his brain- or rather, what lied beneath the towel. His whole body has a fading tan and he's just built perfectly. Everything about Harry looks smooth and soft and inviting.

Louis sighs.

Harry seems like quite the paradox to Louis, and he truly is intrigued by him. Innocence and dimples adorn Harry's first impression, but it only takes digging a little deeper to find several different things Louis thinks. One of them being his odd ability to tease... Definitely not a trait Louis would have guessed. Then there's the tattoos. You couldn't pay Louis enough money to properly guess how in God's name he ended up with those.

A little deeper than that though, are Harry's insecurities. Obviously he tries really hard to fit in. It seems like there's been a great part of his life that's been sheltered, and he tries really hard to fight against that. At the same time, Harry has experienced some terrible parts of the world, but still manages to be trusting and intrigued by other unfamiliar parts of it.

Quite the enigma, Louis thinks.

He gets out of the shower and dries himself off. Being around Harry makes him feel a bit younger, so he digs through his barely touched armoire full of street clothes, and finds a black tank top at the bottom. He is perplexed when he realizes he probably shouldn't wear a black tank with black skinny jeans, since the black jeans are, in fact, one of two pairs of jeans that he owns.

This is why he doesn't try to be hipster.

The black tank top gets thrown onto the bed and he shimmies into his skinny jeans. He crosses the hallway into Zayn's room, where Harry has fortunately vacated, and rummages through Zayn's closet.

He grabs the first white tank top he sees, not knowing who the fuck 'The Stone Roses' are, but it's not too complex and it has a lemon on it, so Louis hopes they're some health group that promotes cleanses or something.

He walks into Zayn's bathroom and is really grateful that the universe brought him and Zayn together way back when because Zayn is the Yin to his Yang and has all the things that Louis does not. Like hair products.

The mirror reflects long and unruly hair and unshaved facial hair. Louis likes the facial hair and probably won't ever get rid of it, but wants something to make his hair look more... purposeful. He opens and closes a few drawers and pulls out two long, red cans.

One reads: Big Sexy Hair Spray and Play. The other reads: Big Sexy Hair Big Altitude.

What comes first, altitude, or spraying and playing? Probably altitude since it defines a location that one might be, thus allowing one to spray and play. It's logical.

He knows shaking the can is part of the process since he's seen Zayn do it a couple million times. He holds it up to his hair and presses the nozzle. He yelps when he realizes the mouth of the can is foaming like a rabid dog.

Right. This is mousse.

Why didn't they just write 'mousse' on the can? Louis will never know.

He sprays the mousse into his hands then works it into his hair. It already gives his hair more purpose, and he's suddenly worried about putting too much product in. Zayn may be able to manage an arsenal of hair products into his hair and walk out the door looking like he woke up like that, but Louis knows the limits for himself.

He shoves the Spray and Play Mystery back into the drawer and instead blow dries his hair with Zayn's bright red blow dryer. Why is everything red?

When his hair is dry, Louis is pleased with his look. The mousse definitely gives his hair some body, but keeps it looking soft. The white tank along with the hair makes him cock his head and smile at himself in the mirror.

He will need to ask Zayn for some more help in the hair department because he may be wanting to do this again.

A few more drawers later and Louis finds Zayn's deodorant and mouthwash. Yes, he could use his own. However, Zayn is the epitome of 'sex' in Louis' mind, and he wants to channel a bit of that tonight. He's never particularly described himself as 'sexy' per say, since he's always been happy with his easy-going attire, but finds himself feeling a little extra cheeky tonight.

Maybe it's Harry. Maybe it's the health-conscious tank top. Maybe the hair products. Louis doesn't care and he doesn't want to jinx it.

He strolls down the hallway in a fashion that, he daresay borders a strut, and walks into the kitchen.

There is one Harry Styles sitting at his counter in a white tank top and black skinny jeans. Complete with a silver cross necklace around his neck and a silver watch (Louis assumes it's a Rolex) on his wrist.

Louis stares at Harry. Harry stares at Louis.

"I like your shirt." Harry says, eyes fixed on Louis' body.

"I like your shirt." Louis responds, staring at the collarbones that show above the hem of Harry's tank.

"Is The Stone Roses a type of cleanse?" Harry asks.

"Yeah." Louis says without thinking to get any kind of verification from Zayn first. "We kind of match."

"Yeah." Harry's eyes blink from the rest of Louis' body up to his hair. "Your hair is fluffy... Can I touch it?"

"Yeah." Louis thinks it's the one word that he can rely on in his vocabulary.

Harry hops off the barstool and walks over to Louis. Louis thinks that Harry has miraculously gained an extra meter because he looks so long and slim and fit. Harry is making his way towards Louis, and Louis realizes he has no idea what the proper protocol for someone touching your hair is.

Harry is in front of him and fuck, he smells like a fucking angel dusted with roses. He must have brought his own fancy ass body soap since Zayn never hops out of the shower smelling like a garden of sex. Louis and Harry both continue to eye each other up and down and Harry reaches a hand forward to run his fingers through Louis' hair.

Louis is aware that they've touched a couple times before, but it feels different this time. Maybe it's because they aren't at work, or maybe it's because Harry is touching him with the sole purpose of touching him, but it sends warm shivers through Louis' core.

"So soft." Harry retracts his hand. "You look different."

"Actually in comparison to you, I'd say we look quite the same." Louis cracks a smile and Harry returns the look.

Louis looks to the floor. "Did you guys already eat?"

"Zayn did, but I haven't yet." Harry says.

Fuck he smells good.

Zayn taps the counter. "Both of yours is right here. Harry wanted to wait for you."

Louis looks up at Harry who looks like actual sunshine. "Thanks."

Harry offers out a hand and Louis is tempted not to take it because as of 10 seconds ago, his body thought it will be most beneficial to give him sweaty palms. He needs some weed to calm down. But first he must eat. Which brings him back to the dilemma at hand.

He goes on impulse and easily slots his fingers into Harry's. Though it's only a short walk to the barstools, Louis feels like he just gotten off of a long roller coaster ride. Harry's about to release Louis' hand, but Louis grips tighter and picks up his fork with his left hand.

"You're left handed?" Harry asks.

"Ambidextrous." Louis bites the inside of his cheek. "If it bothers you, I can..." Louis eyes down to where their hands are still intertwined.

"No. I like it." Harry looks from their hands to Louis' eyes.

Louis smiles at his food when he realizes this is the giddy feeling he's read about dozens of times in romance novels. Understanding that bit of information makes Louis feel good about his life. Like he's maybe made it passed the last plateau and is climbing to greater heights and new adventures.

Zayn washes his dish off. "I'm taking a spliff with me. I'm going in early and I'll meet you two there." He wipes his hand off on a dish towel.

"Mary's in my room." Louis says.

Zayn leaves to Louis' room, and Louis and Harry eat in silence. Louis' hand is staying generally stationary in Harry's, but it's a comfortable and stable feeling.

"So you eat fish then? Just not other meat?" Harry asks.

"Yes. So, pescatarian technically. I eat a Mediterranean diet." Louis replies. "I mean, who can live without sushi?"

Harry smiles and mumbles with the fork in his mouth. "True."

Louis chuckles and Zayn emerges back into the kitchen to grab his keys and put on his shoes. "Meeting up with Brooke beforehand?" Louis asks.

"Yeah. Just to have a few beers." Zayn walks over to Louis and kisses his cheek. "Laters baby."

"Do I get a kiss too?" Harry perks up and flutters his eyelashes.

Louis looks amusedly at Zayn. Zayn exchanges a look with Louis, then leans forward to kiss Harry's cheek. Zayn leaves without another word to either of them.

"I didn't push it too far, did I?" Harry asks Louis.

"Fuck no. Just realize you'll probably catch Zayn and I off guard for a while with your..." Louis licks his lips, "...forwardness."

Harry nods and returns to eating. Louis feels like there's hundreds of thousands of unspoken words between them, and he has the urge to exchange every single one of them with Harry until he knows everything down to his preference of socks. He wonders if it's normal to want so much from just one human being and if Harry wants the same with him.

Louis knows he can trust Harry. But he wants to wait a little longer until tying him to his living room sofa and talking until their voices give out. Mainly till after the show, so that Louis can still sing tonight.

They both finish eating and Louis unlatches his hand from Harry's to pick up their dishes and wash them off. "I'm going to have a smoke before the show. Would you like to join me?" Louis asks over his shoulder.

"Definitely." Harry responds.

Louis grabs the weed and a cigar from his room and motions for Harry to follow him to the front porch. Louis plops down on the tattered couch.

"You have a sofa on your porch." Harry states.

"We don't smoke inside the house, so we may as well be comfortable when we're outside." Louis says. "We were going to throw it to the curb, but stopped after getting it through the door jamb to take a smoke break, and it's just stayed here ever since."

Harry nods in appreciation. "How long have you lived with Zayn exactly?"

"14 years." Louis splits the cigar with his nails.

Harry watches him intently. "In this house?"

Louis shakes his head. "No. We've only been in this house for nine years."

"So how old were you when you first moved in with Zayn?" Harry asks.

"15." Louis concentrates on arranging the weed on top of the tobacco.

"So you're 29?" Harry asks too quickly.

Louis chuckles. "Yes. I'm 29. Congrats on solving the mystery."

"When's your birthday?" Harry's eyes glance up to Louis' profile for a brief moment before returning their focus onto his hands.

"December twenty-fourth. Yours?" Louis brings the blunt up to his lips to lick the paper shut and looks at Harry.

Harry stares at his mouth in a way that makes Louis feel like he's doing something much more promiscuous than licking a blunt. "February first." Harry says mechanically.

Louis steals a look at Harry's lips. They are less red than when he had just walked out of the shower, and are now a bubblegum pink. Harry's tongue pokes out to lick his lips, and Louis shuts his eyes to concentrate on the task at hand.

He lights the tip and takes the first huff. Harry is still watching him closely, and Louis needs more than what's currently in his system to calm down the rush of nerves. He stares across the street at the empty field trying to ignore Harry for a moment.

He's only three hits in and starting to feel the effects. Niall definitely packed this with more hash.

"Can I try a smoke?" Harry asks.

Louis exhales. "Absolutely not."

Harry seems taken aback at Louis' answer. "Why not?"

"You've never smoked before, right?" Louis sits farther back into the sofa.

"Right." Harry confirms.

"There's your reason." Louis says. He needs to slow his smoking more than he normally would or he's going to end up getting baked. Maybe he should have waited for Zayn instead of trying to tackle this one all by himself.

"How is that a reason?" Harry argues.

"Reason one, I will not be taking your smoking virginity. It's a horrible habit that should not be encouraged nor supported. Reason two, it will ruin your lungs and your health. Reason three, if you ever do smoke, which you won't as long as you're around me, you'll smoke bud in a joint and not hash mixed with nicotine in a blunt. Shall I keep going?" Louis takes another drag.

"I think I can make decisions for myself, thank you." Harry says indignantly.

"Reason four. _If_ and when you ever do smoke, it will be of your own accord and not to prove yourself to me or anyone else." Louis leans his head back.

"I'm not trying to prove myself to anyone." Harry says.

"Then why do you want to smoke?" Louis asks.

Harry is silent.

Louis looks at his blunt and habitually wants to take another drag, but refrains from doing so for another minute. "When you can give me a logical reason, I will consider it."

"What's your logical reason then?" Harry retorts.

Louis busies himself with blowing out smoke rings and ignores Harry. "I have my reasons. You told me you were in college. Have you never been to a college party? Where's there are lots of opportunities to smoke?"

Harry's demeanor becomes a lot less offensive and turns to a quiet withdrawal.

"What college do you go to?" Louis asks.

Harry sighs. "I take online college."

That makes sense.

"You said you went to uni. Did you graduate?" Harry asks.

"I graduated with a Bachelors in Zoology at 22." Louis says.

Harry eyes Louis then busies himself with running his finger up and down his pant seam trying to distract himself.

Louis smiles. "Ask away. I won't be offended."

"Why do you work in a zoo then? Well, in the platypus habitat?" Harry leans back into the sofa.

"Because it's where I'm happiest. I was the zoo curator for three months making triple what I make now. Then I took some time off, and Conner offered me the position I'm currently in." Louis takes one more drag before pulling out a Ziploc bag from behind the ashtray. He puts the blunt away to finish with Zayn later. His objective is accomplished for right now and he is calm again.

Louis stands up and stretches. "Ready for some fun?"

Harry smiles up at him. "Definitely."

~~~

A/N: I love hearing from you guys! Leave a comment, start a kik chat, hit me up on twitter, lets instagram or whatever :) xoxo

 


	17. Chapter 16

 

 

A/N: You guys have been so good to me! I've counted 17 votes so far!! 3 more votes for another chapter upload- make sure to tweet or KIK me with proof :)

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Love you guys and I appreciate so much the reads, kudos, and comments on each chapter.  You make my day and I'm so happy to share my works with you- especially The Forgotten Habitat <3 ;)

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~~~

Louis arrives at Blue Grounds with Harry 20 minutes before he and Zayn are supposed to play their set.  He and Zayn are setting up and sound checking, Louis double checking all the equipment, and Harry is sitting with Brooke on one of the tables closest to the small stage.

Harry was offered a beer, but politely refused and instead opted for water.  Brooke is drinking a Sex on the Beach. 

Louis drinks a glass of water to clear out his throat.  Louis had asked Zayn if he could sing last so as to give his vocals proper time to warm up.  Maybe he is also a little nervous, but he doesn't want to let Zayn or Harry know that.

And by 'a little', he of course means, 'a lot'.

Zayn takes his spot on the piano bench, and Louis on his chair in the middle of the stage.  They always roll the piano to be close to the center as well because neither of them likes taking the spotlight over the other. 

Zayn welcomes and introduces himself and Louis to the Sunday night crowd.  There's a polite applause, and Harry is beaming up at Louis.  Louis wishes he could hide behind the partition in the Platitat in his brown lawn chair with Jerry snuggled up on his lap, but smiles back before mindlessly plucking the first few notes for their first song.  Zayn joins in on the piano and they start their set.

Most of it goes by in a blur for Louis.  He thought waiting till the end would help calm his nerves, but it seems to have only made them simmer hotter under his skin.  While performing isn't something that makes him nervous, opening up parts of his past definitely does.  The song he's prepared is one that makes him cry every time he listens to it, and always leaves him in wonderment as to how tragically beautiful a song can describe him.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared to share this part of himself with someone more than Zayn.  So performing it for a crowd is definitely not something Louis initially anticipated doing. 

Nonetheless, he is here.

Louis takes a sip of the glass of water that is by his stool, then makes eye contact with Harry.  Harry looks at Louis like he's the only person in the world, and Louis decides to just focus in on Harry.  He can do that.  Yes it's still a lot to share, but at least he can pretend it's just him and Harry.

It's time. 

"We'll be singing [Afire Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JznXx1Ns374&index=8&list=PLkIrAVgIXmwMVqNbrm8RTXrUL9CVpH__L) by Ed Sheeran."  Louis says.

He nods to Zayn and Zayn plays the intro on the piano.  Louis holds the microphone to his lips, and when the time comes for him to start playing and singing, he hesitates.  Louis pulls the mic away and Zayn continues to play, then bridges it into the intro again.

Louis takes a breath and repositions his fingers on the neck of the guitar.  He looks out to Harry who obviously recognizes the song and gives Louis a comforting smile, and Zayn plays his cue to sing. 

Louis' voice starts off soft and nervous because it's really not that often that he sings solo anyway; but the bridge comes and Louis isn't as scared anymore.  He pushes the meaning to the side to get the words and notes out.  He is doing this. 

Louis flicks his eyes up to Harry whose full attention is on Louis.  Louis let's himself sing the chorus confidently.  The memories are bubbling up.  Emotion is seeping into his voice and Louis blinks some tears away and takes a shaky breath. 

It's the bridge, then chorus again and the music fills Louis' whole body and he feels like he could burst from his emotions boiling over the brim.  Emotions he felt because of his parents, losing each other and losing themselves.  Emotions that he never wants to put anyone else through.  He fights the constriction in his voice and manages to get the words out.

Louis looks up at Harry who has tears streaming down his face.  Louis' eyes cloud over and he has to close his eyes to continue singing.  Visions of him and Zayn at his parents' funeral become vivid as the pain hits him on the same level that it did that day. 

His voice stops working and he pushes the microphone down before a sob chokes out of his throat.  He rests his face in his hands to try and soften the sounds of his crying while Zayn finishes singing the outro.  When the song ends, it registers in Louis' mind that the crowd is giving a standing ovation, but he can't hear or see anything.  Everything is black.  Black like the suit he wore when he was looking at his parents' caskets.

His guitar is removed from his hands, and then he's surrounded in the warm embrace of Zayn.  He sobs into his shoulder and Zayn rubs a hand up and down his back.  He feels a light pressure, and let's himself be guided off stage by Zayn. 

Zayn sits him down on a chair and kneels next to him, taking both of Louis' hands in his own.  Zayn has tears of his own streaking his cheeks.  "I'm so proud of you Louis.  It's okay.  You're okay.  We made it and we're here now.  Everything is going to be alright."

Louis inhales the mix of coffee and beer and nods his head.  He looks around at the curtain that now separated them from the stage and audience.  "I'm okay.  I'm fine." 

Zayn reaches a hand up to cup his cheek.  "Yes you are."  He strokes Louis' cheek with his thumb and stands up to kiss him on the forehead.  "Do you need anything from me?"

Louis shakes his head and wipes the tears from his eyes.  Zayn holds a hand out to help Louis up. 

Harry fades in from the shadow of backstage and walks quickly up to Louis.  Zayn takes a step back, and Harry hugs Louis tightly. 

Harry's body is warm like Zayn's, and Louis returns the hug, feeling extremely grateful to have the care and concern of very genuine people in his life. 

Louis pulls away from the hug and notices that Harry still has watery eyes.  "Fancy a walk with me?"  Louis offers a comforting smile and a hand to hold.

When Harry smiles, his eyes crinkle and a few more tears escape.  He nods and takes Louis' hand.  Zayn smiles as Louis leads himself and Harry out of the bar.

The walk to the beach isn't a long one since Blue Grounds is only several blocks away.  It's dark now and the streets are less inhabited, which means the beach will be even more private.

The waves roll up and recede back into the ocean and fill the silence in the still night.  Harry squeezes Louis' hand.  "That was so beautiful."

"Thanks."  Louis stops just short of the sand and takes his shoes and socks off.  "Ever since that song has come out, it's just kind of been the theme for my life because it's kind of the same for me and Ed Sheeran."

"He wrote it for his grandfather... You changed some of the lyrics."  Harry copies Louis and removes his shoes and socks. 

Louis rolls the cuffs of his pants up.  "I did."

"Sorry, I understand if you don't want to talk about it..."  Harry looks to Louis while also cuffing his pants.

Louis straightens his shirt back out.  "No, I do.  I'm sorry.  I honestly have just never done this before."  He holds a hand out for Harry to take again.  "Be patient with me?"

Harry smiles and interlaces his fingers with Louis.  "Of course."

Louis takes a step onto the sand and feels the cold sand squish up between his toes.  He curls them in, feeling the sand re-mould around his feet.  Harry seems to be doing the same thing, as he's staring at his wiggling toes.

They exchange a look of mutual delight and step forward in pace with one another.  Louis decides to lead them in the direction away from the pier and strolls left with Harry.  "I think, well... I'll just start from the beginning... If that's okay?"  Louis looks to Harry, who gives him a nod of approval.  "It's a little long... You can just like, tell me to shut up if you get bored."

"I want to know.  I won't get bored."  Harry looks at Louis in a way that Louis knows Harry is being completely honest.  "I want to know anything you want to tell me."

Louis bites the inside of his cheek.  Harry makes him feel safe.  Safe and secure, and Louis honestly is excited.  "Okay."  He breathes out.  "Well, I grew up only a few blocks away from where I live now.  I met Zayn when I were six, and we've honestly been best friends since we met.

"I was an only child because my parents didn't meet until my mum was in her late thirties, and didn't have me for another few years.  My dad was 10 years older than my mum and um, by the time I was nine years old, he was 64.  He was a great dad, and I never knew any different.  Only that Zayn's parents were younger than mine."

Louis looks at Harry who is definitely committing this information to memory, and Louis wants to hug the shit out of him.

"I remember when I was nine, it just started small.  It wasn't even noticeable... And I was so young..."  Louis runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath.

"He started to forget things.  Such minute things that anyone else wouldn't think twice about; but by the time I had turned 10, I remember his personality starting to change.  I was young at the time and didn't know if I was just starting to grow up a bit and see my dad differently; but then I saw my mum start to change as well.

"My dad quit his job, and my mum started working.  She became stressed and anxious all the time.  I just remember a lot of pain and confusion at that point in my life, and I was 12 when I finally asked her what was wrong one day.  She told me that she had been taking my dad to doctor's appointments and that he was sick with Alzheimer's.  I had already gathered as much since my dad had been treating me differently and was becoming more and more impatient with my mum.  Really impatient."

Louis hates those memories.  Out of all the ones he has, those are definitely the worst.  Seeing both parents in pain without being able to do a single thing about it.  The impatience of his father and the pain it caused his mother.  The way they both slowly lost their minds because of it.

"She had me stay over at Zayn's as much as possible because she didn't want me around to watch my dad die.  I felt like I had to take care of her, so I tried to be there for her, but she'd only get more frustrated.  By the time I was 14, I was angry and my dad didn't remember who I was more than half the time.  My mum only distanced herself more from me despite how hard I tried to be there for her.  She'd always tell me 'Mum and dad love you so much Louis.  We're so sorry that you have to see us like this.  In another lifetime, things will be different and you can see just how much we love you.'"

Louis takes a few steps with Harry in silence, keeping his gaze fixed on the thousands of grains of sand beneath his toes. 

"One day I overheard her crying to Tricia, Zayn's mum, saying something along the lines of us already having remortgaged the house and the retirement plan having been sold.  I knew that we had been struggling financially, but then she told Tricia that they were going to let her go from her job.  She said, 'They don't have room for me anymore, but if they'd just expand onto the damn lot across the street I'd still have a job.'

"Of course I knew where my mum worked and knew it was a nature preserve.  I told Zayn what I had overheard, and he agreed to help me burn it down.  We figured if there wasn't any more nature to preserve, the company could expand and my mum could keep her job.

"Zayn and I watched it burn from across the street.  It felt good to watch something beautiful become destroyed for a better cause.  I finally felt like I was a help rather than a burden to my mum.  We ran when the police and firemen showed up, but they had seen us.  Tricia smelled the smoke on us and had seen it on the news by then.  She turned us in, and I never thought I could hate another human being so much in my life.

"My mum was angry and only became more distant.  Zayn and I, as you know, were sentenced to community service at the zoo until we turned 18 and were told that it would always be on our record because of the damage it had caused. 

"I was fifteen when my dad finally passed."

Louis sits down on the sand and Harry sits next to him.  The sand is cold and refreshing through his clothes and on the free hand that is supporting him.  He supposes there isn't really a gentle way to go into the next bit.  Harry is still looking at him with a burning intensity and no intention to do anything other than listen.

"The next day my mum killed herself."  Louis hears a small sound come from Harry.

"Tricia and Yaser, Zayn's parents, were listed as my legal guardians in my parents will, and I moved in with them.  My parents' funeral was later that week.  Zayn was really all I had and he was there for me through everything.

"I was overcome with grief and anger and started smoking to suppress it.  I barely graduated high school, but made it into college.  At 18 I was no longer captive to the zoo, but chose to stay and work anyway because it's all I knew and had been the most constant thing in my life.  I love Zayn and the platypodes more than anything and both of them were at the zoo, so it only made sense for me to stay there."

Louis plays around with a handful of sand at his side.  He bites on the inside of his lip before diving into the next part.

"I never cared much for sexuality, but I did know that I loved and trusted Zayn more than anyone else.  He was the first person I kissed and was intimate with, so it only made sense for me to initially seek out guys over girls. 

"I got into college and started dating a boy... Mark.  He was the first person I ever dated.  I had never taken an interest in dating before then because quite frankly I didn't relate to anyone my age except Zayn.  I didn't think anyone would have understood me or wanted me anyway because neither of my parents did."

Harry interrupts.  "Lou- Louis.  Sorry.  You don't still believe that do you?" 

Louis looks over at Harry whose eyes are glistening with the ghosts of Louis' past that he's sharing.  "Logically I don't.  I understand how it's false.  But that feeling was ingrained to me really young, so like, there's still a part of my emotional self that believes it."

Harry nods and bites his lip.  "Okay.  I'm sorry.  I just- I'm sorry.  Keep going."  Harry shakes his head.  "Mark.  What was he like?"  Harry rests his head on Louis' shoulder.

"Um, well, it was really hard with Mark because he was really open with me about his life and had previous dating experience, whereas I was the complete opposite.  I never told him about my parents; he was really patient in the beginning."  Louis looks out at the expanse of the ocean in front of him.  He feels Harry nod against his shoulder.

"Fast forward a few years, and we're about to graduate college at 22.  I still hadn't told him about my parents.  He hated Zayn, and hated that I smoked.  I haven't a clue why he stayed with me as long as he did, but I suspect most of it was out of sympathy because I know Zayn said something to him.  To this day, I still don't know what kind of conversation they had, but I can only imagine it was along the lines of Zayn telling him not to cause more loss and grief in my life.

"He broke up with me right after graduation.  I was heartbroken.  The zoo offered me the position as the curator, and I took it.  Three months later and I was still struggling with heartbreak.  I missed Mark, and I missed my old job with the platypodes.  I hated not working with Zayn, and I had never felt so purposeless in life."

Louis pauses for a minute.  He knows Harry isn't going to enjoy this next bit.  Louis certainly doesn't.  Harry is silent though and waits for Louis to continue.

"I... I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on an old bottle of anti-depressants and sleeping pills that I had been prescribed years earlier.  I thought: my mom did this.  I deserve to be free of pain too."  Louis runs his hand through the sand and feels Harry's jaw tense up against his shoulder.

"Zayn had gotten off early that day, and watched me die in my bedroom.  I, um- I saw my parents... for a moment.  They were there when my heart stopped.  We all watched as Zayn performed CPR on my body and called the ambulance.  I tried screaming and pleading at Zayn to stop and let me die, but he kept going until the paramedics arrived and took over.  I can't believe that I'm able to remember so vividly, but, seeing Zayn like that- I swear to God, I won't ever put him through that again."

Louis knows Harry probably thinks he's insane at this point, so he really doesn't have much left to lose by continuing on.

"I blacked out shortly after that and they were able to resuscitate me.  Zayn says it was providence because he had just had a horrible feeling all day that he needed to be with me.  He says he felt me begging for death from the other side but heard a voice clear as day tell him not to stop.  He says it wasn't my time to go because I have a purpose here.  I don't know that I believe that really.  But I do know that it wasn't just coincidence that Zayn left work early.  I stayed in the hospital for three months.  Zayn and Greg came to see me every day, and after I got discharged, Greg told me that I would be running the platypus habitat."

Hearing himself retell his life events is somewhat surreal.  He can't decide if it makes them feel more or less tangible.  So much of it sounds like a bad dream.  But the scar on Louis' stomach reminds him that it was all very much real.  He wishes he had a simpler life story, like Zayn.  Zayn doesn't have heap tons of baggage to carry into every relationship he has.

"I would come in to work for free on my days off because it gave me something to keep my mind off of the void that was my life.  Finally, Greg worked out the arrangement we have now, and it honestly saved me for a couple years. 

"When I finally got a grip on my life, I made the choice to not fall in love again- which looking back, I'm not even sure what I had with Mark was love- but it's not fair for me to be with someone if I'll only end up putting them through what my mum and I went through because I'll just end up dying the miserable way my father did."

Louis thinks he can feel his shoulder very much soaked.  The worst parts are over at least.

"I traveled a bit and only found that it was depressing to do so alone.  I researched everything I could about Alzheimer's and started hobbies that would help prevent the early onset of it.  That's why I play guitar and chess and other stupid things like eat healthy.  I learned Italian and German and read as many books as I can. 

Louis lays back into the sand.  "And now I'm here with you on the beach and have just dumped my life story onto you.  Is it normal to feel like half my weight is missing?  I feel a bit like I'm floating along the waves."

"Louis, I'm so sorry.  I can't- I can't believe you had to go through all that, but I'm so glad you have Zayn."  Emotions seep through Harry's voice as he lays onto his side to face Louis.  Tears fill Harry's eyes and his pupils are dilated so large that Louis can hardly see the color in them.

He stares at the starry sky and automatically looks for the Southern Cross.  The ocean breeze kisses his exposed arms.  "It's selfish of me to be glad I had Zayn through everything.  I've never contributed anything positive to his life.  I feel horrible for him really."  Louis holds Harry's hand to his chest and rubs circles into his palm.

"I don't think it's selfish.  I-I'm sure Zayn is grateful to have always been there for you."  Harry brings up his other hand to wipe at his eyes.  "I know I would be."

Louis turns his head in the sand to face Harry.  The black has gone down a bit and his eyes look like fresh springtime: very green with a dewy moistness glazing over the top.  "I don't think you'd think that after knowing me for as long as Zayn has."

"I think you're wrong."  There are a few sand granules stuck to Harry's lips.  "Louis, you are such a positive person.  You may not see yourself as one, but you honest to God are so uplifting and just- I don't even know the right word to explain it... peaceful to be with.  I feel so content every time I'm with you and I know Zayn feels the same.  Don't cheat yourself of the people here who love you."

The small fragments and pebbles in the sand tickle the inside of Louis' lips as he smiles.  "It would be cheating if I let them get close to me Harry.  The rules around my life don't allow me that luxury."

Harry leans up on his elbow.  " _You_ made those rules though.  You deserve to feel important and loved."

Louis shifts onto his side.  "I don't deserve much other than to just live quietly and happily with the life I was graced with." 

Harry shakes his head.  "I'm not talking about being grateful for life.  Like, of course you are.  I'm grateful for mine too.  But like, don't limit yourself there.  You deserve so much more."

"Harry, I don't mean this negatively, but we were raised different.  Your parents had money and power and you think that the world is your burrito, and that's wonderful.  _You_ deserve that.  I do not.  I haven't done a thing to earn more than what I have right now.  But it's okay.  I'm happy with my life.  I'm happy where I'm at."  Louis explains.

Harry huffs in defeat and runs a hand through his hair.  "God, I- I'm so sorry.  You've just entrusted me with your deepest secrets and I'm being a fucking twat.  I'm so sorry."

"It's okay.  You just..."  Louis really wants to say 'are young and full of life' but knows that it wouldn't go over well, "...are enthusiastic.  You want everyone to have the outlook you have because you believe life is full of undiscovered treasures."

Harry bites his lip.  "Well I mean, it is really.  Like, life can be _anything_." 

Louis nods patiently with a small smile, waiting for Harry to calm down.

Harry lays back into the sand.  "How d'you... How do you already know so much about me?  Like, without actually knowing me?  Like, I feel like most the time you expect my reactions to things."

Louis gives Harry's shoulder a soft rub with his free hand that isn't attached to Harry.  "I've been around for a while."  Harry smirks at that.  "Since I don't get close to people, I spend a good portion of my time in the distance observing and listening.  I don't know even close to everything about you Harry, but there are a few things that jumped out to me when I met you."

The excitement returns to Harry's eyes.  "Like what?  What did you first think of me?"

Louis purses his lips and lays back into the sand.  It's cool against his neck and the sound of the waves is soothing.  "Hmm.  I thought you were a pretentious little snot."  He fights to keep the smile off his face.

Harry hits Louis' shoulder playfully.  "Liar!  I saw the way you looked at me."

Louis shakes his head.  "Nope.  Figments of your imagination young Harry."

Harry snorts.  "Well I thought you were one of the most attractive men I'd ever seen in my whole life.  It just drove me crazy trying to figure out how old you were."

Louis cocks his head in the sand at this, surely getting thousands of sand granules stuck to his mousse filled hair.  "Why are- or were- you so hung up on my age by the way?"

Harry readjusts his legs so his knees are propped into the air.  "Um, well... I guess it kind of has to do with my er, life story.  So I'll tell you a little later."

Intrigued and slightly concerned for the direction in which that conversation could go, Louis decides to set it to the side so he can focus on the present.  "When I first saw you I thought you were beautiful.  Not just outside, but inside.  You remind me of the sun.  You're just bright and vivacious and smart."

Harry keeps facing the sky and smiles.  "Thank you."

They're silent for a while and eventually Louis feels his legs tingle a bit, so he props his knees into the air, copying Harry's, and they lay side-by-side, hand-in-hand, staring at the stars in the sky.  Their bodies seem to gravitate to each other, and eventually they're leaning their knees against each other.  Louis loves the contact, from their knees to their hands to their shoulders.

Louis tilts his head a little closer to Harry's, and he swears Harry can read his mind, because Harry tilts his head closer to Louis' at the same time.  He thinks of the way their hair would look intertwined with each other's.  Harry's chocolate locks and Louis' wispy mocha strands interweaving through it.  He likes this.  It feels tender and comforting and perfect. 

Harry speaks barely above a whisper.  "Louis?"

"Yeah?"  Louis matches Harry's volume.

"Will you let me get close to you?  Please?"  Harry turns his head so that his forehead is against Louis' hair.

It wasn't a question.  It was a request.  It was a request because Harry knows how Louis feels now.  He knows that Louis likes him and that Louis is the one keeping to himself.  Louis feels guilty, but thinks it's selfish to let Harry get attached to him now, only to disappoint him in the future.

He turns his head so their foreheads are touching.  "Harry, I can't.  There wouldn't be any longevity to it; and even if- even if there were, I'd... it would be painful."

Louis wants to feel embarrassed at the weight of the conversation they're having, but considering what Louis has just revealed to Harry, and what Harry just asked him, he knows they're on the same page. 

Like Zayn said...  Maybe they're abnormal; but it's how they are.  Louis knows that this is only raw sincerity coming from both of them.  Harry with his unadultered belief that he can get whatever he wants from life, and Louis with his inability to be anything but honest when it comes to things like these.

"Please?  I just- I can't...  I'm so drawn to you Louis.  Like, every time I'm with you, I just want to get closer, both emotionally and physically.  A-Am I the only one?"  Harry breathes through his mouth and it stirs up some of the sand by his face.

Louis feels well and truly cornered.  Though he has logical thinking and responses to all other arguments, this is the one thing he can't reason with.  He can't deny that the feeling is mutual.

"No.  I feel the same."  Louis feels sand tickle at the tips of his lips and God, Louis really wants to kiss Harry, but this is not a scenario in which he had previously anticipated it happening.  It also would completely undermine their entire conversation.  But there's his breath and the sand between them tickling both of their lips.

Harry nudges his face forward the slightest bit in the sand and Louis lays frozen in place, looking deep into Harry's eyes, heart in his throat for what feels like the hundredth time today.  Harry's eyes dart between Louis', then up and down to his lips and back and Louis holds his breath.

Harry seems to have decided on his course of action and closes his lips to swallow, then barely parts them again.  His face nudges closer, keeping eye contact with Louis, and his lips graze the tip of Louis' nose with a kiss. 

Harry pulls away and they both exhale the breath they were holding.  Harry speaks in a whisper so quiet that Louis almost misses it.  "Thank you... for everything tonight."

"I didn't do anything."  Louis whispers into the sand.  "Except maybe become a bigger pain in your ass."

Harry huffs out a laugh and it kicks up a flurry of sand onto both their faces.  They both recoil and sit up immediately, wiping their eyes.

"Shit, shit, shit.  Sorry!  I'm so sorry, fuck- sorry."  Harry says through the hands still rubbing at his eyes.

Louis snorts out a laugh, partially because Harry is funny, but also partially because he has sand up his nostrils.  "You're fine love.  It's just sand."  He flares out his nostrils and rubs the back of his hand against his nose.

"Crap, I just- sorry."  Harry rubs a hand back and forth against his nose.

"Haz, y-you don't have to apologize.  You didn't do anything wrong.  We're on a beach.  There's sand and shit and it was bound to get on us."  Louis reaches a hand up to wipe some grains of sand off Harry's forehead.  His skin feels like touching an ice block.  "Your skin is so cold!  Jeez, let's get you somewhere warm.  You should have told me."  Louis stands up immediately and holds a hand out for Harry.

Harry takes his hand and their fingers slot together.  "I'm Haz now?"  Harry looks sideways at Louis.

Louis removes his hand from Harry's and instead wraps it around Harry's back and grasps his other arm to try and warm Harry up more.  "Er, sorry.  I-"

Harry leans into Louis' side and interrupts.  "I like it."

Louis rubs his hand up and down Harry's arm to try and create warmth from the friction.  "Right.  Come on then."  Louis walks with Harry nestled into his side and their steps fall into a matching pace through the sand.

"You're not a pain in my ass.  Honestly."  Harry slows down his pace and Louis looks at him.

Louis' lip quirks upward, restraining from making an innuendo.  "Thank you Haz, but walking slower isn't going to benefit either of us."

Harry returns walking at their prior pace.  "If it means that you'll keep touching me, then I'm fine with my nuts freezing and falling off." 

Louis huffs out a laugh.  "That's hardly an acceptable reason-" Louis cuts himself off and reaches for his phone in his back pocket.  "Actually, one second."

They've reached the street again and both take a moment to put on their shoes while Louis' phone is ringing against his ear.

"Hello?"  Zayn answers through the phone.

"Hey, are you home already?"  Louis asks.

"Sure am."  Zayn says.

"Could you please stoke the fire?"  Louis ignores the look Harry gives him, and instead offers his hand out for Harry to hold, which he takes.

"Of course darlin'.  Don't stay out too late."  Zayn hums.

"See you soon.  Bye."  Louis hangs up after Zayn says goodbye.  They're back in the parking lot of Blue Grounds and Louis pulls Harry into a hug.  "You going to be okay till we get home?  My heater doesn't work well.  I can go buy you a sweater real quick-"

Harry shakes his head in Louis' chest.  "Lou, I'm fine.  It's not like I've never been a little cold before.  I'm honestly fine, and you really don't need to pollute the environment for me.  I'd've been fine with an extra blanket."

Louis waves a dismissive hand.  "It's fine really.  Cows damage the ozone worse than wood-burning stoves anyway.  Which, utilizing either doesn't go against my ethics anyway as long as it keeps you warm."  He unlocks and opens the passenger door for Harry to step in.

When he gets into his seat and starts the car, Harry is rubbing his hands together between his legs.  Louis focuses on the road and luckily it's not too long before they're back in Louis' parking spot.

~~~


	18. Chapter 17

A/N: I just logged into my Instagram for the first time in a couple days (since I always forget I have it) and had some more vote screenshots waiting there! So! We are now at 21 :D 4 more for another upload! You guys are so incredible <3 

Voting closes on the 3rd (tomorrow), so if anyone else would like to cast a vote, please do so today or tomorrow and hopefully we can get another chapter upload!!

~~~

"C'mon." Louis smiles at Harry who looks only slightly less cold.

Harry stops just short of the side door to dust some sand out from his hair, then follows Louis and they kick their shoes off inside the doorway. Zayn is in the kitchen.

"Just got finished making a kettle and blankets are by the fire getting warmed up. What do you guys want to eat?" Zayn tosses the tea cozy into a drawer and pulls out two mugs.

Louis and Harry look at each other. Harry shrugs. Louis wraps a hand around Harry's waist and escorts him into the kitchen. "You can go change into comfier clothes or shower again if you want. I'll make something with Zayn."

Harry shakes his head. "It's okay. You don't- I'm not hungry."

Louis purses his lips. "Don't lie to me Harry. I was 19 once too."

Harry blushes lightly at this. "Sorry. Just um, some soup would be fine then."

Louis smiles approvingly then gives Harry's side a light squeeze before letting him go. Harry prances into Zayn's room where his backpack presumably still resides.

"Lentil soup okay?" Zayn asks, grinding some salt into a pot of water on the stove.

"Perfect." Louis rummages through the cupboards pulling out an assortment of lentils.

Zayn grabs a clove of garlic from the refrigerator then pauses. "Are you like, going to care about garlic breath?"

Louis mulls over the pros and cons for a minute. "What's the point of food if you don't get to enjoy garlic?"

Zayn nods. "Good lad." He crushes it and puts it into the simmering water.

Louis goes to reach for more of the spices at the same time Zayn does and their hands collide. "Sorry. You're the better cook of the both of us. I'll let you."

"Lou, you're just as good, if not better than me with certain dishes." Zayn flits his arm in the air. "Add whatever other spices you fancy. I can be the designated stirrer."

Louis puts a finger over his lips to stare at the vast array of spices in front of him. He decides on adding sage, rosemary, and thyme. The water is boiling now, and Louis reaches for the measuring cups when he hears a light shuffling behind him.

Harry is sitting at the counter top in a Zelda triforce insignia t-shirt and pajama bottoms. The grin that splits Louis' face accompanies a soft laugh and Zayn turns around to look at Harry.

Harry looks like he's trying to hide a smirk from Louis, but is genuinely interested in Zayn's reaction.

Zayn laughs. "Awesome mate." Then turns back to finish cooking the food.

Louis abandons the measuring cups for Zayn to take care of and leans across the counter to rest his chin on his elbows. "Your choice in wardrobe is spectacular."

Harry blinks and smiles cheekily. "I hoped you'd say as much."

Louis drags his hands off the counter. "Come hither young Harry. Let's warm you up."

Louis motions for Harry to stand in front of the couch. Harry does as instructed and watches Louis intently. Louis is glad Zayn pulled the blankets out in front of the fire so they could get nice and toasty. He picks up his favorite quilt to sit on and tucks it into the edges of the couch.

Next, Louis picks the softest, minky red blanket and wraps it around Harry like he's a burrito. "Pity we have to cover up this fashion masterpiece, but your warmth is top priority here."

"I'm really okay." Harry reaches his hands to hold the edges of the blanket and Louis gently taps his hands back down. Harry obeys, and Louis instead tucks the blanket in on itself so that it stays tightly wrapped around Harry.

Louis picks a slightly thicker blanket next and drapes it around Harry. Harry laughs at Louis' antics. "I think I'll be fine now. Thank you."

Louis quirks and eyebrow and shakes his head. "We're not done till I say we're done. Sit down." Louis points at the couch and Harry gives him a look of faux belligerence. Louis gives Harry a gentle shove so that he falls back onto the warmed quilt that covers the material of the couch.

"Hey!" Harry chuckles and restrains against his blanket bindings, trying to loosen them.

"It's for your own good." Louis says. "Just one more now, and I will deem you fit to reach homeostasis."

Harry rolls his eyes, but can't keep the smile off his face. Louis grabs a big, fluffy comforter and works it around Harry's body, making sure to wrap it close around his neck and underneath his feet.

Louis claps his hands together, pleased at his creation of Harry The Burrito- or Harry The Snowy Mountain- he can't quite decide which is more fitting. "How are you feeling?"

Harry nuzzles the tip of his nose under the comforter. "Like a pupa ready to complete metamorphosis." His chin surfaces up again and he blows upward at a stray hair that's fallen into his face. "I'm rendered completely useless now. Thanks for that."

"You don't need hands. You have me." Louis takes a step closer to Harry to push the curled bang from dangling onto his face. "And I'll make sure to shut all the windows so you don't fly away from me when I'm not looking."

"If you love something, set it free." Harry gives Louis a sassy look.

Louis pats his head. "Beautiful things are meant to be appreciated. So I'm keeping you here and appreciating you forever."

Louis turns to walk back into the kitchen to retrieve tea, but stops the second Harry's whines out. "Lou." Harry says, drawing out the 'u'.

Louis turns around and sees Harry peeking over the back of the couch. "Hey, no whining. I demand that you warm up before you get any privileges." Louis folds his arms.

"If you two are done with your silly bickerings, you can eat." Zayn speaks loudly enough for Harry to hear.

Harry strains his head over the top of the couch again. "I would, but as you can see, Louis has me held hostage."

Louis interjects. "It's not hostage because it was consensual."

"I didn't know what I was in for, so I'm claiming it's Stockholm Syndrome." Harry wiggles his eyebrows.

"Shush or I'll force feed you next." Louis pours the seeped tea into two mugs for him and Harry.

"Hmm. Being spoon fed by my boss. I don't know if that's the pinnacle or nadir of my life." Harry rests his chin on the back of the couch, and really, it's completely adorable because all that Louis can see is his wavy hair and face, attached to nothing but a white comforter.

Zayn dishes the soup into three bowls and brings them over to the side tables on either end of the couch. "If I were in your situation, I would definitely think it's the pinnacle." Zayn winks at Harry, and Harry blushes.

Louis walks back into the living room to set the tea next to the soup. "Zayn, will you be joining us for dinner? There's room for all three of us." Louis plops next to Harry and rubs the free spot next to him.

"Nah." Zayn waves off. "I'll eat in my room. Harry, let me know if you need anything." Zayn swoops down to give Harry a kiss on the cheek.

"Night!" Harry positively beams and it's utterly endearing.

Zayn leans over to Louis and their lips barely graze out of habit before Zayn tilts his head at the last second to kiss Louis' cheek. He mutters a low 'shit, sorry' into Louis' ear, and Louis looks out of the corner of his eye to see if Harry saw what just happened.

Harry looks curious, but not offended, and Zayn leaves them alone in the living room.

Harry fidgets around in his blanket straight jacket, and Louis helps free him of it. He puts a hand to Harry's cheek to feel that Harry has warmed up some, then gives Harry the bowl of soup and tea.

"This is really delicious." Harry lets the silverware lightly rattle against the side of the bowl as he pauses for a drink of tea.

"Thanks. One of our favorite soups to make." Louis says.

Harry sets the tea back onto the side table and continues to eat the soup. He glances up from his bowl to Louis' face every couple seconds. Harry's fingers start to rub at the sides of his bowl and his mouth opens and closes a couple times.

Louis turns to give him his full attention. "Are you waiting for permission to speak?"

Harry smiles in spite of himself. "Not this time actually. Just- trying to figure out how to ask what I want to ask."

Louis takes the last bite of his soup then sets the empty bowl aside. "Just ask it. You don't have to worry about like, being tactful or whatever."

"Well like..." Harry's lips scrunch to one side. "Oh, I got it!" Harry sits up straighter and sets his bowl to the side. "So like, how Barbie is Niall's person. Is Zayn your person?"

Louis blinks stoically to himself for a moment, never having quite thought of it in such a light. Harry's not technically wrong on any of the correlations, but his and Zayn's relationship is different than Niall and Barbara's.

"I mean... Yes and no." Louis scratches the back of his head. "Like, I think as far as what you see and know, the answer is yes. But the dynamics are completely different, so in that way, no."

"What are the differences? If you don't mind me asking?" Harry readjusts the blanket around himself.

"Um." Louis glances at the burning wood, hoping to find answers that will magically jump out to him. Why _does_ Louis think that he and Zayn are different? "Well, for starters, Barb stays with Niall because she _wants_ to stay with him."

"I'm not dense enough to believe that." Harry gives him a pointed look. "Do I really need to drag Zayn out here to tell you that he stays with you of his own free will and accord?"

Louis rolls his eyes. "It's different though. Zayn feels like he has to like stay with me and protect me."

"So Barb and Niall don't feel like they have to protect each other?" Harry asks.

Very valid question, but also frustrating because it negates the point he's trying to make. "They do."

"Okay..." Harry trails off. "That sounds like a similarity, not a difference to me."

Louis tries a different angle. "Well, they're together for sex and whatnot."

"So are you saying that Niall and Barb don't love each other? Or that you and Zayn don't have sex?" Harry interrogates.

"God, who taught you how to fucking debate? You are impossible." Louis runs a hand through hair that still has remains of sand in it.

Harry smiles sheepishly. "The homeschool group I was in had a debate team. We won nationals."

Louis snorts.

"So...?" Harry questions.

"So." Louis takes a breath. "It's still different."

Harry just continues to look at him waiting for more explanation.

Louis waves his hand in the air. "They like, depend on each other in an independent way. Zayn and I are..." Fuck. Louis is definitely not using the right words to help him out.

Harry speaks up. "It's not a bad thing if Zayn is your person. I was just curious is all."

Louis leans his head back against the couch. "Yeah, okay. I guess he is."

"I think it's really great honestly. I'm just like... envious of Zayn." Harry says.

"What do you mean?" Louis watches the light flicker and make shadows against Harry's cheekbones.

"Because he gets to be in an open relationship with you. Which apparently is more closed than open because you won't let yourself be with anyone other than Zayn anyway." Harry says.

The words hit Louis like Ayer's Rock just fell onto his chest and he feels _confused_. Fucking confused because Harry gives him contradictory emotions and points out inconsistencies in Louis' life- which he, up until this point, thought to be very simple and straightforward.

"You confuse me." Louis ends up saying.

"Why?" Harry asks.

"Because. You just do. I can't explain it." Louis breathes out hot air and lets the thoughts and confusion dissipate with it.

"Well, if you figure it out, I'd love to hear. I don't want to confuse you." Harry says.

Louis' lips pull into a smirk. "Thank you for the consideration. D'you want more tea?"

"Please." Harry smiles back at Louis.

Louis returns with two full cups and offers one to Harry.

"Let's sit on the ground, yeah? So we can like, stretch out our legs and share the blanket." Harry scooches off the couch and onto the floor.

Louis joins him and Harry wraps the comforter around the both of them. Louis feels warm inside and out.

They sip silently on their tea and watch the fire flicker and eat up the wood through the small glass.

Harry sets his empty cup to the side and shifts slightly. "So like, I was homeschooled, yeah?"

Louis smiles down into his cup of tea as his heartrate increases. "Yeah."

"Well I have a friend, Samuel. He was in our homeschool group. We've known each other since we were 12 and he moved to Penrith. When he joined the group, he was like, 'the rebellious cool one'." Harry uses air quotes to emphasize, and Louis laughs.

"So he like, wore brand name clothes and knew to use hair wax instead of gel?" Louis jeered.

Harry snorted. "Seriously though! He like, had the cool skater shoes and always spiked his hair, but it was never crunchy looking." Harry motions his hand towards Louis' hair.

Louis laughs and nudges Harry with his shoulder. "Okay, so Samuel the cool skater kid."

Harry nods. "So, I wanted to be cool, and I thought I knew a thing or two, so I was the first one to befriend him. We got really close and kind of estranged ourselves from the group a bit. I mean, I was still nice to everyone like Isaiah- the boy I went to scout camp with- and stuff, but I also liked finally feeling like I wasn't the homeschooled kid everyone made fun of."

"Sorry, for interrupting, just- who made fun of you? Like if you didn't go to public school, who else were you around?" Louis asks.

Harry shrugs. "You know, youth groups at church, scout camp, volunteer positions, kids at country clubs-"

"Country clubs?" Louis interrupts.

Harry's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Yeah?"

Louis shakes his head and remembers that of course it's normal for Harry to interact with others in country clubs. His dad is probably a member of several different ones. "Right. Sorry. I suck at listening tonight."

Harry gives him a smile. "It's okay. I feel like I'm the one always asking questions, so I like that you finally get to ask me some things."

This makes Louis feel important and fuzzy inside because he's never thought about it that way. Louis wonders if this is what Harry feels like each time he answers one of Harry's questions.

"Okay. So you and Samuel were the pimps of the homeschool group, and you finally got to fulfill your vendetta against people making fun of you by turning on your own kind- but not to their faces." Louis summarizes.

Harry laughs. "Exactly." He runs a hand through his hair. "So Samuel had an older brother, Saul. Saul was even cooler because he went to public school and had lots of friends and they went to clubs all the time. So one time, Samuel came up to me and Ezekiel-"

Louis snorts and Harry raises an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Was everyone in your homeschool group named after Biblical characters?"

Harry grins proudly. "Everyone except me, because I'm just Harry. There isn't a Harry in the Bible."

Louis laughs and Harry laughs with him. "Okay, Harry-not-from-the-Bible. Carry on." Louis motions with his hand.

Harry purses his lips in amusement. "So. Samuel came up to me and Ezekiel and said that his brother Saul was going to sneak him into a club that night and invited us to join. Ezekiel was too scared and said no, and I could tell Samuel was about to make fun of me if I said no too. Peer pressure, you know?"

Louis nods, hoping this doesn't go the direction he's anticipating. "So you went to the club with Samuel and Saul that night?" Harry gives him an affirmative nod. "How old were you?"

"I was 14." Harry chews on the inside of his lip. "Saul was off with friends, and Samuel left for the bathroom, but told me to try and get us drinks. I was at the bar and the bartender wouldn't serve me, even though I had my hand stamped and everything. Said I was obviously too young- which I was- but..."

Harry pauses to pick at the edge of the blanket. "There was a man sitting there and started chatting with me. He was really nice. Probably in his 50's and I found out he and my dad were members of one of the same country clubs. Anyway, he bought me a drink and I was still trying to look for Samuel to come back because he had been gone a while. So I started drinking with him and I felt like I was getting drunk really quickly. I-I had had wine before at family dinners and such, so like, I was a little familiar with getting buzzed and whatnot, but it was just after one or two drinks and everything was going fuzzy and I couldn't finish my sentences, and he finally grabbed my hand and took me into the public restroom, and... yeah..."

Louis stays dead silent mostly because he has no idea what to say or do or ask. So he doesn't move.

Harry speaks up. "So after that night I kind of um, thought about it until I talked myself into believing that I wanted it. I started asking Saul to take me to the clubs any time he went so that I could like- offer myself- to older men. It wasn't hard, and eventually it became a game and I started to really love it. It wasn't men taking advantage of me anymore- it was me taking advantage of them. At least that's what it's like in my brain."

Louis tries to separate the emotional frustration of the situation out of his brain to look at it logically. Bits and pieces of Harry's obscurity are falling into place now and Louis continues to listen and wait before asking any more questions.

"You can like, ask questions you know. It's okay." Harry looks intently at the side of Louis' face.

Louis stares at the ground.

"How-" Louis' voice cracks. "How long did that go on for?"

"Like six months. I was 15 towards the end of it all." Harry says.

Louis coughs. "What- er, why did you stop?"

Harry bites his lip. "I was at one of the country clubs with my family one time, and the first man that had, um, roofied me was there." He looks down at his knees. "I like, went up and flirted with him- well, I more teased him until he finally took me into a room and fucked me."

The words stab Louis in the chest like a javelin and he has the overwhelming urge to find this man for more than just a slap on the wrist. He's sure he could extract some platypus venom and-

"Louis?" Harry set his hand over Louis' clenched fist.

Louis lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and unclenches his fist. "S-sorry. What?"

"Don't be angry or feel sad please. I-I wanted it. It was my fault and I wanted it." Harry says.

Louis understands why the first thing Harry did after Louis opened up to him is tell him how wrong he was. He fights the urge tooth and nail to scream at Harry that it wasn't his fault at all. He's sure he's already had a psychiatrist for that. Or at least he hopes...

"Did you... Have you like talked to a counselor about it?" Louis finally asks patiently.

"Yeah." Harry breathes out. "My dad walked in on the scene and then sued the country club after beating the man up. The man is in prison and my dad sent me to a psychologist. I went to therapy for three years. We never told my mom anything, but I think she knows. She's smart and she saw me change."

Louis' mouth is dry, but he manages a swallow before speaking again. "So y-you don't still think it's your fault or anything, right?"

Harry shrugs. "I know it might sound fucked- and it's probably a coping mechanism or whatever- but I like, have a sick pride in thinking back on the memories. Like I wasn't the victim of the situation, I was the predator. My therapist told me over and over again that I was a victim, but I don't believe I was. I enjoyed it too much. The sex, and the older men, and finally being objectified and desired instead of made fun of..." Harry trails off.

Louis feels a little sick to his stomach. Scratch that, he might need to run to the bathroom in about two seconds because his esophagus already feels like it's convulsing. Louis reflexively wraps his arms around his stomach.

"Lou? Are you okay?" Harry looks Louis up and down.

Louis smothers his face into his knees and tries to focus on breathing in and out slowly.

There's a hand that's rubbing lightly at the nape of his neck and Louis wants to flinch and run away and lock himself in his room for the rest of eternity.

Two breaths in. Four breaths out.

"Harry?" Louis whispers.

"Yeah?" Harry answers.

Louis lifts his head to look Harry directly in the eyes. "Can I ask you a question and have you answer honestly?"

Harry's somber face nods, eyes looking at Louis full of trust.

Louis manages to make his mouth move. "Do... Are you only attracted to me because I'm so much older than you?"

Harry doesn't answer for a minute, but his cheeks go slightly pinker and the room seems a thousand decibels quieter.

"I..." Harry rests his head sideways on his knees, but still keeps eye contact with Louis. "I didn't know you were 29 until today."

Louis stays silent. Harry didn't answer the question and he knows it.

"I don't just like you because of your age. I like you for a hundred other things too Louis. You know that." Harry bites at his lip for a moment. "Honestly, I- I didn't- I thought you were _maybe_ 26, and I was kind of happy because I thought for the first time, I was finally attracted to someone who wasn't 40 years older than me. And even though you're 29, a 10 years difference and 40 years difference is so completely different anyway. Y-you're really like- young for me."

Maybe it's the gravity of the situation. Maybe it's the overall heaviness of their whole evening. But Louis lets out a guttural, body convulsing laugh. The sound fills up the whole room. Harry bites at his arm until he can't restrain the smile and small giggles trickle out of his mouth. Soon, Harry's laughs match Louis' in volume, and Louis is holding his stomach because his abs are aching.

They laugh until Harry's head falls onto Louis' shoulder and the fire starts to die down.

Louis rubs at his eyes as he tries to even out his breathing and starting to feel like shit. "I'm so sorry. That was absolutely the most inappropriate response to the situation I could have chosen. I will promptly fire myself and never see you again. I'm so sorry."

Harry instantly reaches a hand around Louis. "No! Please." His grasp lightens ever so slightly. "I'm glad. I was so worried... that you wouldn't see me the same- that you would pity me. I don't want that. I really, really don't want that. I think it's funny and I'm proud of it. I know I'm fucked up in the brain, but I'm happy, so I really hope you can accept that."

Not for the first time, Harry's words hit Louis deep and hard. He nods to himself. "If you're happy and okay, then that's what matters I suppose. Just- if you ever like... I don't-" Now Louis has no idea how to verbalize what he's trying to say to Harry.

"I'll always be honest with you; and I trust you." Harry rubs his hand up and down Louis' arm.

Louis still doesn't know what he wanted to ask exactly, but Harry answered it. Louis pulls him into a tight hug and is assaulted by deliciously scented waves. He mumbles into Harry's hair. "Thank you so much. For trusting me. And for everything tonight."

Harry hums happily into Louis' chest.

"Bed time, yes?" Louis pulls away from Harry.

"Yeah, sure." Harry slithers up onto the couch.

"Don't be ridiculous, you're getting my bed. I get the couch." Louis says.

"No way. I'm sleeping out here. I'll be fine." Harry protests.

"This is non-negotiable. Stand your ass up and get in my bed. I'll even tuck you in and give you a goodnight kiss." Louis outstretches a hand for Harry.

Harry takes it and stands up. "Fine."

"Good then." Louis leads Harry into his room and turns on the night stand lamp for him. "The memory foam pillow is my favorite, but I forgot to change the linen over it, so let me go grab a fresh-"

"No, I'm fine! I mean, it's not a big deal. It's fine. Don't want to make you do unnecessary work. You're tired and all..." Harry suddenly finds the floor quite mesmerizing.

A smirk pulls at Louis' lips. "Whatever you say."

Harry climbs into Louis' queen sized bed and looks like he was designed specifically for it. Louis likes how Harry looks in his bed. He thinks Harry looks much more fitting there than Louis ever will.

Harry pulls the navy blue comforter up to his chin and Louis sits at the side of the bed. The only light coming from the lamp casts dim shadows over half of their faces.

"Your bed is really comfy. I feel really bad making you sleep on the couch." The white in Harry's eyes stand out; bright, opaque, and full of life.

Louis thinks his probably look dull and bloodshot. "You're not making me do anything. I'm the one enforcing rules here." Louis smiles and reaches a hand up to Harry's fringe and sweeps it off his forehead.

Harry grins back. "Boss during the day and night, eh?"

Louis lets out a breathy laugh. "I suppose. I'm the oldest, aren't I?"

Harry's hand snakes out from under the comforter to rest on Louis' thigh. "You can take a break you know. Delegate and whatnot. I could take a turn being in charge once so you don't have all the stress on your shoulders."

"My stress isn't really your problem to solve Harry. Thank you though. You are quite sweet." Louis thumbs at Harry's hairline.

They look at each other in silence for another moment before Harry speaks up. "So do you think differently of me now?"

Louis shakes his head. "It... It was hard for me to hear what happened to you; but it's made you who you are today, and I quite like that person a lot. So I don't pity you or anything, don't worry."

"Well, yes that. But also the other thing..." Harry blinks. "Like when we were talking on the beach."

Louis cocks his head, not quite following Harry.

"Will you let me get close to you?" Harry reiterates his request from earlier in the evening.

Louis runs a hand through his hair, feeling some grains of sand get stuck underneath his fingernails. "I don't think it's a good idea. I- I'll have an ending that will be painful to everyone except myself. I couldn't justify it in a million years."

Harry sits up in the bed, startling Louis and making him lean backward a bit. Harry grabs both of Louis' hands in his own. "Maybe you should let other people make their own decisions. Because maybe to them, the pain is worth getting close to you."

"Why?" Is the only coherent response Louis can come up with.

"Why did Icarus fly too close to the sun? Why did Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace fall in love? Why did Jerry always chase Tom back and forth in the Platitat? Sometimes we want what we want, even when pain might come along with it." Harry squeezes Louis' hands a little tighter.

Louis smiles with fondness. "I think you read too many romance and fiction novels. You shouldn't base your life choices off of mythology and platypodes."

"What's the point of reading them if they don't change my life and the way I act?" The green in Harry's eyes is what stands out most now. The green almost looks translucent, like Louis might be looking into a kaleidoscope.

"To fulfil whatever it is in life that you're missing. You read romance novels because there's something about those character's relationships that you crave. You study mythology to fill in the gaps that your religion doesn't. You watch persons and animals with the intent to pull out what you want to see from them." Louis kisses Harry's forehead. "And that's all okay and good. But I will just create holes in your life that you will eventually strive to fill through other things; and that's not fair to either of us."

Harry sinks back down into Louis' pillow and takes the silver cross hanging from the thin silver chain in between his index finger and thumb. "I feel like that's not really fair to say though. People can't be stereotyped that easily."

"Am I incorrect?" Louis asks.

Harry sighs. "No. But I still don't think it's fair."

Louis shrugs. "That's life for you. Just find the joy in things you already have. It helps curb the constant desire for more."

"So you don't want more than what you have right now?" Harry asks.

"I have my moments. I'm only human after all." Louis pulls the comforter over Harry's face.

Harry laughs and bats it off his face. "No, you're definitely something else."

Louis scrunches his nose. "I guess you'll never know."

Harry slits his eyes at Louis. "Oh. I will find out. Just you wait."

Louis smiles and thumbs at Harry's cheek. "You do that. But first, get some sleep."

Harry nods. "Thank you again for everything. Goodnight."

"Night." Louis leans in to kiss Harry on the forehead once more, then exits the room to his bed on the couch.

~~~


	19. Chapter 18

A/N: Thank you so, so much for all the support!  Voting is closed, so now we wait for the results :D

Voting aside, thank you so much for all the support and love you've shown for The Forgotten Habitat.  I'm so happy that you guys are loving it ^_^

Dedicated to @-questionable :D

~~~

Louis finally manages to settle down after tossing and turning for a good hour on the couch. It's not that the couch is uncomfortable. It's just... Harry.

He's never had someone quite as exhilarating as Harry in his life before. He keeps telling himself it's only hormones. Only hormones that are drawing him to Harry. Louis isn't lonely. He doesn't need anybody. He has himself, the platypodes, and Zayn. He doesn't need anybody else.

But fuck, he _wants_ Harry.

Maybe that wouldn't be so hard to deal with if he didn't know that Harry wanted him back. He supposes it's like kids. They don't need chocolate. They may see other children eating and enjoying chocolate, but they've come to accept that they don't eat chocolate. But once the kid tastes chocolate, how are you supposed to tell them they can't have it again? They'll still want it.

Louis still _wants_ Harry.

He doesn't even want him in a possessive or sexual way- granted, he wouldn't be opposed to the latter- but Louis simply wants Harry in his life. Like Zayn really. It's just like Zayn.

Except it's Harry. So it's a little different.

He can see things with Harry that he doesn't have with Zayn. Like long nights of staying up simply to enjoy each other's company for longer. Or going out to eat with each other so they can mutually show each other off and let everyone in Australia know that they have each other. Maybe take up a new hobby together that they can learn together and laugh about when they both mess up.

It's not that Louis doesn't have the feeling of companionship with Zayn. He certainly does- and could ask for more at any time, and Zayn would give it to him. But with Harry it would feel like more than just companionship.

It would feel like love.

The love that makes him bring surprises for Harry just to see him smile and laugh. The kind of love that makes him say words and phrases he's only read in books. A love that drives his life to doing crazy and irrational things.

Love that would make him want to live longer.

~~~

He thinks it's probably two in the morning when he hears the hall floorboards strain against the poorly installed brackets holding them in place.

It's probably Zayn getting up for a midnight smoke.

But then the floorboards keep squeaking farther down the hall, and Louis thinks either Harry is sleepwalking, or woke up with no idea where the hell he is.

Louis is trying to remember how to properly deal with sleepwalkers without hurting them, but his brain is all but exhausted because he hasn't gotten a minute of sleep.

So he waits and stares blankly instead. Harry peeks his head around the corner, and he is definitely not sleepwalking.

Louis sits up. "You okay?"

"You're awake?" Harry walks closer to the couch and stops at the armrest where Louis' feet are propped up.

"Can't sleep." Louis rubs at his eyes.

"Me neither." Harry watches his hand mechanically rub circles into the arm of the sofa.

Louis swings his legs onto the ground and runs fingers through his hair for a minute.

Harry sits next to Louis. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Louis breathes into his hands. "Just thinking too much."

The fire has died out, but it's still warm in the living room. The only sound is Louis and Harry breathing and the cicadas outside. "Do you want to like, go smoke?" Harry asked.

"Nah. Don't want to completely ruin my sleeping schedule." Louis isn't even sure what he wants.

The last time he's stayed up this late was only because he was crying about missing Jerry. Those nights always ended with him in bed with Zayn. That always seemed to help him sleep.

Louis stands up and takes Harry's hand. "Come on."

Harry follows back to Louis' room without question, and Louis pulls the covers down for Harry to get in again. Harry's face brightens when Louis climbs in next to him.

Louis pulls the covers up over both of them, and they lay face to face with their foreheads almost touching. "Is this okay?" If Harry's smile is anything to go by, he thinks it's okay, but he kind of wants to ask just so that he can hear Harry say as it is.

"Yeah, s'okay." Harry bites his lip. "I used your toothbrush."

Louis muffles his snort into the pillow as he laughs. Harry giggles beside him. Louis readjusts his face so he can properly breathe again. "Did you really?"

Harry smiles even bigger. "No. I just wanted to see what you would say."

"I would be okay with it. You have a beautiful mouth. Beautiful lips." And okay, it's late at night and Louis' filter is a little lower than normal.

Harry tucks his chin to his chest a little bit, trying to hide his lips from Louis' sight. "They're just lips."

Louis ghosts a hand across Harry's cheek. "Can I touch them?"

"Yeah." Harry's minty breath fills Louis' nostrils because of their close proximity.

Louis lets his hand gently close the gap between his fingers and Harry's cheek. He lets his fingers leave a feather light trail from his cheekbone down to his lips. His thumb drags gently across Harry's bottom lip, and his bottom fingers gather underneath Harry's chin.

Harry's lips barely part open enough to let a small breath escape through them, and the menthol tickles Louis' fingers. Harry's eyelids blink slower and slower until they flutter shut.

Louis let's his fingertips graze the soft outline of his lips. He feels so impossibly close to Harry. Louis would like to replace his fingers with his lips, but he can't. Not with what feels like kilometers of silk under his soft touch. The moment feels so delicate and like it might shatter if he moves at all.

Harry seems to be thinking the same thing and is completely still next to Louis. His eyes slowly blink open again and he looks directly at Louis.

Louis holds his breath for the next seconds that pass. The seconds that leave him utterly defenseless and stagnated.

Harry leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to the side of Louis' lips. Louis finds his lips involuntarily part, and Harry's lips shift to kiss more of Louis. Half of Louis' face is still squished into the side of the pillow, but he can't bring himself to move.

Harry's lips press against Louis' for a moment longer, and then his head retreats back onto his own pillow, with Louis' hand still resting on the side of his cheek.

"Was that okay?" Harry whispers.

"Yeah." Louis strokes over the apple of Harry's cheek. "Yeah..." Louis doesn't know what else to say. He really doesn't even know what else to think.

So he just continues to look at Harry, who looks an awful lot like Louis' future at the moment.

Content.

A smile shines through Harry's eyes, but his face stays still, and he buries it into Louis' chest. Louis wraps his arm around Harry to pet his hair, and Harry's arm wraps around Louis' torso to pull himself closer.

Louis breathes in the wonderful scent of Harry and falls asleep to the rhythm of their in tempo breaths.

~~~

When Louis wakes up, there are curls tickling his nose, and the sun beams brightly through the crack between his dark curtains. He completely zonked out and slept deeply through the whole night. He mindlessly strokes Harry's curls and stares up at his ceiling.

Yesterday seemed like one of the longest days of his life- in a good way- but it definitely took its toll on Louis. Harry has his head on Louis' chest and a long arm draped over Louis' body almost reaching the other side of the bed. His hair still smells like the heavenly shampoo he uses, of which Louis really wants to figure out the name of.

Harry stirs on top of him, and Louis untangles his hand from Harry's hair. Harry rolls off the top of him. "S'sorry. Didn't know I was on top of you. Y'could've pushed me off." Harry yawns.

Louis stretches his arms and legs out. "'S'fine. You smell amazing."

Harry huffs out a laugh. "Thank you. 'S'bright outside. What time is it?"

Louis squints his eyes. "I dunno. We're not already passed the Winter Solstice are we? It's too bright for 7 am." Louis blindly reaches his hand out to the side of his bed and feels around his nightstand.

Harry snickers. "Winter Solstice was June 21st. It's July 15th."

Louis grabs his phone and smashes the home key until his phone lights up. It reads 10:22 AM and he has one text from Zayn. "Fuck."

"What time is it?" Harry leans in to Louis' chest again.

"10:22. Hang on, Zayn texted me." Louis slides his thumb to open up the text.

**Morning lovelies ;) You both looked too peaceful for me to disturb. Lou, I changed your alarm for 10:30 in case you weren't up by then. Harry, I didn't know if u had any alarms set, so I stuck your phone and Rolex (wrapped in tp cuz I wasn't about to break that shit) in the microwave. I have two iced Chai's in the fridge at work for when you show up <3**

"He put my watch in the microwave?" Harry chuckles.

"So it _is_ a Rolex?" Louis pecks the top of Harry's head.

"Yeah, my dad had an extra one lying around the other week, so I asked if I could have it." Harry adjusts his body so he's facing Louis.

Louis snorts. "'An extra Rolex _lying_ around.' Obviously."

Harry suppresses a smile. "Sorry. I could've worded that a little differently."

"It's cute. Cute watch for a cute boy with a cute financial background." Louis navigates to his alarms and turns off the one Zayn set for 10:30 named **Rise and Shine Sleeping Beauties!** and laughs.

"Do you want it?" Harry says.

"What?" Louis looks at Harry's face that is inches from him.

"Do you want the watch? It's last season's model anyway." Harry offers.

"Trying to give me obsolete jewelry? No thank you. I only accept the latest and greatest." Louis tries to sound posh, but his voice cracks.

Harry stifles a giggle. "Sounds like you need something hot for your throat."

"Mmm, yes. Let's get up shall we? I'll make us a cup of coffee." Louis pats Harry on the back.

After taking turns in the bathroom to get dressed and ready, they make their way to the kitchen and Louis puts the kettle on. "Granola okay for breakfast?"

Harry retrieves his phone from the microwave, silencing the alarm that has in fact, been going off since 6 am. "Granola's perfect. Thank you. And thank you for everything really, I slept amazing last night." He pockets his phone and pulls a large wad of toilet paper from the microwave. "He really wrapped it in toilet paper?"

"Of course he did. I would've too if I was handling $60,000 merchandise." Louis pours a bowl of cereal for both of them and sits at the island. "And it was my pleasure. You really are welcome to treat this as your home- especially since you live so far away. My bed is always open for you."

Harry shoves the ball of toilet paper into his backpack and sits next to Louis. "Thank you so much. That really means a lot."

 _Anything for you_ , Louis thinks, but definitely does not say.

~~~

Later at work Louis is at the front of the small stage with a microphone in hand.

Louis can present about platypodes in his sleep and knows his speech better than his own flat. Though he's quite confused as to why Brooke and Harry are jumping up and down in the back waving something around.

He continues speaking animatedly. "So, both the male and female platypuses are born with ankle spurs, _but_ \- only the male's spurs produce venom. The venom is so strong, that it could kill a small dog."

Louis sees Zayn whisper something into Brooke and Harry's ears, and he takes the brown thing from them, and they start shuffling around in the back.

"Now, I know what you're all thinking: Are they poisonous to humans?" Louis waves his hand out questioningly. "The answer is yes! Which is why they send all the bad boys and girls here and hire them on as the platypus handlers." There's a laugh throughout the crowd. "No, I'm only kidding!"

He points to a youth up in the front row. "You thought I was serious, didn't you?" The boy nods and smiles. "He thought I was serious." The crowd laughs again. Louis points to the mom. "Next time he misbehaves mum, send him here for a day and we'll get him straightened out."

Another laugh from the crowd and Louis smiles. He loves doing this. "While they are poisonous to humans, they aren't lethal, but it is _quite_ painful! I have had the unfortunate event of being careless once when I first started. Let me tell you, it hasn't happened since." A couple people laugh.

"This is why we leave the platypus handling to the professionals. If you ever see a platypus in the wild, do not disturb it." He staccatos the last four words. "That would be like someone coming into your home when you didn't invite them over. _Rude_!"

Louis continues the presentation and wraps it up with urging the audience members to protect the environment and be aware of conservation acts in the community. It ends with a Q&A, and then the audience dissipates.

Louis is wrapping up the microphone cords and Zayn is fixing the sign that once again, got knocked over. He would have to talk to someone about getting a more stable sign.

Harry and Brooke come bounding up to him on stage.

Harry speaks up first. "You did so great! The crowd loved you today."

"Yeah, except why did you cut out like, half of it? I mean, it's not like we were pressed for time or anything." Brooke questions.

"What?" Louis stops wrapping the cords.

Zayn approaches the conversation and looks at Brooke curiously.

"You completely left out the whole part about them being mammals and monotremes and stuff, and then didn't even talk about their fur. Harry and I were trying to tell you. We waved the platypus hide around. Did you not see us? Or did you forget?" She giggles. "I thought you've been doing this for like, more than 10 years."

Louis is frozen in place.

"Louis, go take a walk." Zayn says.

"Why, so he can remember everything he forgot?" Brooke laughs.

Harry shifts in panic and looks to Zayn for help.

"Brooke shut up." Zayn commands.

Brooke pulls a face of disgust. "Why should I listen to you? I respect Louis more than you at this point, which is really saying something since he doesn't even remember how to do his job properly."

Louis sets the microphone down and walks off the stage, avoiding looking at anything that isn't the ground. Zayn is saying something back to Brooke, and Harry looks like puppy with its tail between its legs. He refuses to react or think about anything other than smoking. He can make it to his car.

Louis grabs his jacket and his car keys. He picks up his pace and exits the zoo into the employee parking lot. He has a cigarette lit between his teeth before the gate shuts behind him.

He puts the key in his car to turn on the battery and slides in one of his favorite CD's, then pulls a cigar and weed out of his pocket. He cuts the cigar open with his nails and brushes half the tobacco out the side of the door onto the black asphalt below.

His fingers fumble with the small package of weed, and he has to pause to take several quick drags. He grabs a CD case to set the wrapper on, and starts to pull the buds from the stems and packs the wrapping as full as he can get it. He's grateful there isn't much to pull off since Niall gave him more hash than normal this batch.

His cigarette is almost gone, and he replaces it with the blunt to lick it shut. Once it's dry, he lights the tip with the remains of his cigarette and takes a long drag. He drops the butt onto the ground and smothers the cherry with his foot. As soon as it's out, he picks it back up to put in his car's trash bin.

He keeps the driver's side door open, props his feet sideways on the door jam, and rests his forehead in his hands. He rubs his eyes a few times before taking another hit. The music plays softly in the background and the drug is finally starting to take effect in Louis' body. The comforting rush of the first buzz always feels like a warm hug.

He keeps reminding himself that people are silly and don't mean half the things they say. Brooke doesn't know any better anyway. It's not her fault and Louis doesn't need to hold anything against her other than just being a generally unpleasant person to be around.

It's also not Brooke's fault that Louis forgets how to do his job. The most fucking important part of his job, and he forgets half of it. He's not even 30 yet, and he apparently can't even perform monotonous day-to-day functions anymore.

Louis pulls out his phone and starts a game of chess. He only gets in half a dozen hits before he beats the other player.

The passenger door opens and Louis automatically drops the blunt to the asphalt and snaps his head around. Harry is sitting in his passenger seat with a tray of food.

"Good hell, you scared the shit out of me." Louis breathes a sigh of relief and bends down to pick up his blunt. He dusts it off and fixes it up. Luckily it hadn't been too damaged in the fall. It returns shortly to its home between Louis' lips.

"Sorry. I uh, just wanted to bring you food since you're missing lunch and Zayn told me what you were doing, so I figured you'd probably be a little extra hungry..."

Harry looks down at the tray in his lap that has a veggie burger, sweet potato fries, a biscuit and side salad, and a coffee.

Louis chuckles. "I hope you plan on helping me finish that."

Harry looks at Louis questioningly. "Don't you get the munchies?"

Louis coughs when another chuckle gets caught between a huff of smoke. He clears his throat to speak. "You are so cute." His voice is raspier now. "I smoke a 50/50 blunt, and normally always follow it with a cigarette or two, so I never really get hungry."

"Oh... I guess that makes sense..." Harry leans back into the seat and watches Louis. "May I ask you a question?"

"Always." Louis looks out the front windshield at the chain link fence surrounding the warehouse behind the zoo.

"Why do you still smoke?" Harry asks.

Louis takes another long drag, happy that his blood is pumped full of chemicals. "So that I die of lung cancer."

Harry lowers his gaze and looks to the floor. He bites the inside of his cheek and then looks to Louis' hands. "Do you mean like... You'd rather die of lung cancer than... other things?"

"That's exactly what I mean." Louis says.

Silence.

"You're playing chess?" Harry asks.

Louis had long since turned his attention away from his phone. He looks back down at the screen that declares 'WINNER' with confetti streaming down from the top of his screen. He locks his phone. "Yeah. I win every time." Louis smiles a thin smile to himself.

Harry perks up. "I'll bet you $10 I can beat you in a game of chess!"

Louis' eyes crinkle when he smiles at Harry. "Last time we made a bet, it ended with neither of us falling asleep before 2 am."

Harry shrugs. "So then let's not fall asleep till 2 am again. I have tomorrow and Wednesday off, so I don't have to be up for anything."

"Did you just invite yourself into my bed again Harry Styles?" Louis takes another drag.

"I mean, we could play chess in your bed. You did say it was always open for me." Harry grins.

Louis is silent for a minute and reaches to grab a sweet potato fry from the tray in Harry's lap. "That would probably be fine. But what about school? And mum and pop hmm?"

"I have all my course work done for the semester." Harry picks up a fry for himself to pop it in his mouth. "And I'm legal age. I do what I want."

Louis snorts out smoke, burning his nostrils. "So sassy and young." Louis blinks his eyes a few times to try and wet them. "God, I'm going to be so baked the rest of the day." He takes another puff, feeling even higher and lighter than before.

"You won't get in trouble for smoking on the job?" Harry asks.

"Not unless anyone tattles on me." Louis stares pointedly into Harry's dilating pupils.

"No! I won't. I mean, I won't say anything. You don't think I would, do you?" Harry asks, affronted.

Louis stays silent and turns his face to blow more smoke out of the open door.

"I just meant like... won't people be able to tell? Bloodshot eyes and the way you act?" Harry probes further.

"Do I seem compromised to you? In any sense of the word?" Louis lolls his head back over to Harry.

"I mean... Not really I guess. You seem a little more lax than normal." Harry points out.

"And that's why I follow up my blunts with a cig. Returns my outer shell to a nice homeostasis." Louis pulls out a cigarette to light it with the last bit of the burning blunt.

"What does it feel like on the inside?" Harry asks.

"You'd have to smoke to really understand. But I suppose it's like..." Louis lips at the cigarette between his lips. "Kind of like paradise. Where you don't worry about shit. Then the ciggie is like that habit that comforts you and gives you a small slap back into reality."

"Can I try some?" Harry leans forward.

Louis turns his head again to let out another breath. "No. We've already had this conversation."

"That was when you were smoking a blunt. This is a cigarette." Harry argues.

Louis laughs. "If you try a cigarette first, you won't ever want to smoke again."

"Isn't that what you want? For me to not want to smoke?" Harry raises both eyebrows, awaiting an answer.

"God damn. Chill out Atticus Finch." Louis flicks the ash off his cigarette.

Harry gives Louis a deadpan expression. "I just wanted to come see if you were okay and I'm sorry that Brooke is a bitch. Enjoy your lunch." He sets the tray on the seat and leaves Louis alone in his car.

Louis looks up at the roof of his car. "See Jerry? I'll end up alone regardless of what I choose. Alone and smoking in my car, speaking to my dead platypus."

Louis thinks Jerry would probably give him some sort of reaction letting Louis know that he doesn't care. Some kind of condescending grunt, telling Louis to get his shit together.

"What am I supposed to do about it pal? This is my job. It's my _fucking_ job, and I'm a fucking loser. I can't remember shit, and I'm a bastard to Harry." Louis waves a hand up in the air, assuming Jerry is above him in heaven somewhere.

"I wish Zayn would have let me die." Louis drops his head into his hands.

It's not the first time he's said it to Jerry, and he knows it won't be the last. He just wishes he had Jerry in his lap. Running his hand through Jerry's fur was more therapeutic than anything else in Louis' life.

He wishes Jerry was still here. Still here to hear Louis' rants and bitching. To help Louis realize when he was being difficult.

But he supposes he doesn't need to have Jerry here. He remembers Jerry, and remembers exactly how Jerry was. So in that way, Jerry really does live on in Louis' heart. Maybe he's not here physically, but he's still connected to Louis emotionally- so much so that Louis is already calming down from his stupid rant.

"I know. I'm an idiot. See? I remember you. I remember how you talk to me. I will forget you not. I could never forget you." Louis takes the last few drags from the cigarette.

"What do I do about Harry hmm? Can you give me an answer for that too?" Louis ponders.

Louis thinks about how Jerry was with Tom. Both of them never being fully satisfied. Louis always thought it was stupid. For as smart as Jerry was, he was also incredibly stupid. It was obvious that all he had to do was give Tom the tiniest bit of attention, and he would receive it back tenfold. Jerry didn't have to run around and be difficult about it by playing cat and mouse.

Louis sighs when he matches the parallel with himself and Harry. He can either keep holding himself back, creating an invisible tug-of-war between them both, or he can give in and let himself fall for Harry.

Louis just isn't sure what happens when they gravitate as close as they can get to each other. Like Newton says, an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another force. Which means they both stop once they get as close as they can get to each other.

But there's no way it could stay that way. Humans aren't that stationary. Hell, they _shouldn't_ stay that way. That means stagnation and disappointment in oneself and one's partner.

"Jerry, I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't. Fuck me." Louis pounds his head into his head rest.

~~~


	20. Chapter 19

A/N: My husband asked me what I would like to do today since it's my birthday (I'm 23 now xD). I informed him that I just want to write and update for you guys because those are two of my favorite things to do- also it's Forgotten Habitat Friday!! Yay updates! <3

Thank you for reading, kudos-ing, commenting, and recommending my story. Your comments make my day and your support makes everything worth it xx

-Dannie Ybarra

Twitter: [@LemonSuccubus](http://www.twitter.com/LemonSuccubus) or [@dannieybarra](http://www.twitter.com/dannieybarra)

~~~

By the time Louis goes back to the Platitat, Brooke is a sobbing mess, Harry is filling the holes like the ground has personally betrayed him, and Zayn is whistling to himself.  Sure sign for a fucking _great_ afternoon. 

Louis hates afternoons.

The door closes behind him and Brooke glares at him through a mascara smeared face.  Louis ignores her and walks to Zayn, popping in a piece of gum on his way over.

"Well?"  Louis lifts his eyebrows at Zayn.

Zayn shrugs.  "I fired Brooke.  She won't leave."

Louis blinks twice.  "You didn't need to do that mate."

"I wanted to."  Zayn dismisses.  "What did you say to Harry?"

"He keeps badgering me about smoking and I won't let him."  Louis says.

"Why not?"  Zayn deadpans.

"Why won't I let him smoke?"  Louis places a hand on his chest.  "Because I don't approve of youths smoking.  It's an unhealthy and expensive habit."

"Harry has the healthiness of youth on his side and happens to have a lot of money, so I don't see why you feel the right to be the Moral Police with him."  Zayn motions to Harry who is hunched on the ground with Perry lurking possessively close to him, smacking dirt into a hole with the small shovel.

"I don't want to take his smoking virginity."  Louis says.

Zayn snorts.

Louis squints his eyebrows.  "What?"

"Stop putting so many fucking rules around your life Louis..."  Zayn sounds like he wants to say more, but stops there.

"Or what?"  Louis baits.  "Or I'll end up old, bitter, and alone?" 

Zayn nods.  "Yeah.  You'll end up old, bitter, and alone."

Something in hearing Zayn say it out loud makes Louis' gut wrench.  He wishes he could restart the day.  Start over with Harry and re-do their lunch conversation. 

Louis runs a hand through his hair.  "Right.  Well, I'm a bit baked, so I'm going to give Conner a call while you set up for the show."

"You should probably step outside for that then.  I don't think hearing you will help her leave any sooner."  Zayn glances over at Brooke.

"For sure.  Thanks mate."  Louis unpockets his phone and dials Conner's number.  He grabs a jacket to throw on over his uniform so that he doesn't stand out from the general public as much.

"Louis?"  Conner answers from the other end.

Louis walks over to the wolverine exhibit and leans his weight forward against the ropes.  "Zayn fired Brooke.  She's been really insubordinate lately and made a few disrespectful remarks to me this morning.  Generally just been negative and a pain in the ass at inconvenient times."

Conner sighs.  "Well, as much as I dislike hearing that, I implicitly trust your and Zayn's judgement.  Do you have a replacement in mind?" 

"Anyone but Vanessa please.  I know she was next on the list or whatever, but I'd much rather another trust fund baby than her."  Louis picks at the fraying rope ends.

"I'll figure it out.  Are you able to run things without her there?"  Conner asks.

"It's not like I've never run this entire place by myself before."  Louis rolls his eyes.  "Yes, we'll be more than fine."

"Alright.  I'll come in later to speak with the zoo curator about the situation.  Did either of you or Harry ever say anything to her that could be used against you?"  Conner asks.

Louis watches the wolverines sleeping lazily on each other and is a little bit jealous that he can't be doing the same with Harry.  Snuggling up into a warm bed sounds wonderful right now.  "I certainly haven't.  Harry hasn't as far as I can tell.  I have no clue what Zayn's said to her.  She knows Zayn and I smoke, but I think that's it."

"Okay, not to worry.  I'll take care of things."  Conner says.

"Thanks a ton.  Sorry."  Louis tosses his gum in the trash bin on his way back to the Platitat and they say their goodbyes.

He opens the door and Brooke is not happy.  Zayn stands silent with his arms folded and a passive face.

Her hands are flailing in the air, and Louis thinks he sees some spit land on Zayn's face with how close Brooke is to him.  "This is completely about us!  You know I am the _most_ qualified for this position and I _need_ it for college!  You can't fire me.  You can't just replace me with some worthless kid!"

Louis cuts in.  "Excuse me, Brooke?  Your disclosure contract was null and void the moment Zayn said you were fired.  You are no longer permitted to be in the Employee Only area, so I kindly suggest you leave before I have to call security on you."

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?"  Brooke spins on her heel to scowl at Louis.  "You know what?  I don't want to be here anyway!  Surrounded by a bunch of fucking _faggots_!"

Louis yawns and Zayn swats at a fly.  That nap sounds really good about now.

Louis reaches into his back pocket to call security, but Harry has apparently been eavesdropping- not that it wasn't loud enough to hear from meters away- and storms up looking like a rabid wolf with Perry behind him, hissing at Brooke.  "How dare you!  Get the hell out of here!  You don't know them- you don't know me!"

Louis places a hand on Harry's shoulder.  "Haz, calm down.  It's fine." 

"No!  No, it's not!  Maybe you guys won't stand up for yourselves, but it's fucking _wrong_!"  Harry pushes Louis off and flings his hands in the air and Louis stumbles backwards. 

Harry's distressed actions send Perry into attack mode.  Perry latches on to Louis' leg growling, thrashing, then suddenly spurs Louis' shin.

The first thing Louis hears is screaming.  The first thing he feels is his head slam against the concrete floor.  The first thing he sees is Brooke jumping onto the counter.

"Louis!  Louis!  Louis!  Louis!"

The next thing Louis hears is Zayn screaming instructions at Harry to grab Perry.  The next thing he feels is his whole body erupt in an ictus of seizures.  The next thing he sees is black and blue.

"Fuck!  Grab the fucking platypus Harry- God damn it before he gets spurred again!"

Louis' entire being feels like it's been struck by lightning.  Like each bone is being carved out of his skin, then being forcefully torn from the ligaments holding him together.  His body feels like it been dragged to the seabed of the South Pacific, then yanked up into the stratosphere because he _can't_ fucking breathe.

"Louis!  Can you hear me?  Can you say anything?"

He gasps and pleads for air and all that comes out is a low moan that won't let him inhale or exhale.  He consciously knows he won't die, but his body feels like it's splitting into a thousand pieces. 

"Louis!  Louis!  Louis!  Louis!  I'm so sorry Louis!  Oh my God!"

The sound fills his ears and he still sees black and blue.  There are blurs of personages running back and forth.  When a pressure is finally lifted from his leg, it feels like a railroad sledgehammer is being torn out from the inside of his soul.

"Brooke call Triple Zero!  Louis, I'm giving you Lidocaine, try and hold still." 

Louis tries to scream out to tell Zayn not to fucking touch him, but nothing comes out except a low grunt that neither fills nor expels breath from his body.  His vision is going darker and darker because his brain is being asphyxiated.  His whole existence is falling helplessly into shock that defibrillators could never shake him from. 

Then it starts to lighten and Louis knows he's slipping into shock, but he's still choking and it's getting harder and harder to breathe as his body shuts down.  He's glad because it means all the pain will be gone.  It will finally be gone.

Zayn's voice comes so close to his ear that it vibrates through his whole body and the shrill of it makes Louis plea to the God's above, below, and everywhere in between.  "Louis, hold still.  This is going to hurt.  This is going to hurt."

Moments later there is a sword shoved into his leg that becomes shrapnel exploding a thousand times into each nook and cranny of his body.  He's yanked from the slope of shock and coughs to clear out his airways of bile that was seeping into them.

"Oh my God Louis!  Are you okay?!  Can you hear me?!  I'm so sorry Louis!  I'm _so_ sorry!"

He can hardly feel his body.  All he can feel is pain.  His body has become the allegory and physical expression of pain and Louis knows it's the only thing he will feel for the rest of his life.

"Harry get fucking Triple Zero on the phone.  Brooke, get the fuck out before I physically kick your ass across the continent."

Louis' body implodes on itself as he's ripped from the darkness.  The pain feels worse now because it feels real.  Every muscle clenches and shrieks and he folds in on himself.  His eyes open and he sees a water stain on the concrete an inch away from his face.  He sees a small spider crawl up the wall.  Then he sees Zayn's boots... knees... arms...

"Louis?  Look at me.  Breathe.  Fucking breathe- God, please breathe!"

He can feel Zayn's breath against his face and it feels like he's naked in the windy tundra of Siberia.  When he tries to inhale air again, it knocks the wind out of him.  When he tries to exhale, it's worse than forcing his stomach up through his esophagus.

"Louis!  I'm so sorry!  Please breathe!  Fuck-"

"Harry, don't touch him!" 

Like a volcano erupting molten lava, his ribcage completely bursts at Harry's touch.  Louis feels his whole body sweating.  Finally, the first tangible thing Louis can grasp on to is the vomit that comes out of his mouth like it's the penance he must pay to receive oxygen.  It happens over and over again until his stomach is eating itself, but his airway clears out finally and all that's left is pain that his brain refuses to continue registering.

Everything goes black.

~~~

When Louis wakes up he feels pain.  He opens his eyes and sees white.  He breathes in a mix of plastic and oxygen.

When he opens his mouth, he vomits again and again.  There's an IV needle straining against the gauze wrapped in green coban in the crook of his arm.

There's a flurry of nurses and screams and machines beeping and he feels his arm get pumped full of something thicker than IV fluids.

Black again.

~~~

Z

Zayn's head jerks up when he hears rustling on Louis' bed.  He panics for a moment until he realizes it's Harry shifting his arms at the side of Louis.  Harry must have just woken up too.

Harry inspects Louis head to toe like he does every time he wakes up or enters the room.  Then he makes eye contact with Zayn.

Harry clears his throat.  "I miss anything?"

Zayn wipes the sleep from his eyes.  "Nope."

"How much longer do you think they'll let us stay?"  Harry pushes loose curls from his face.

"They've let us stay until 8:30 the last two nights, so I assume it'll be the same tonight."  Zayn pulls out his phone to check the time.  "So we should have another 10 minutes if they're still feeling kind."

"I'm so sorry Zayn."  Harry looks down at Louis.  "God, I'm so fucking sorry."

"Haz, stop beating yourself up.  Please.  I heard you the first hundred times."  Zayn drags his fingers up and down his face.

At first, all he felt was anger. 

Anger towards Brooke, Harry, and anger at himself.  If Brooke wouldn't have been a bitch, Zayn wouldn't have fired her.  But Brooke was a bitch.  If Zayn hadn't fired her, Harry wouldn't have gotten offended.  But Zayn fired her and Harry interfered.  If Harry wouldn't have interfered, Louis wouldn't have gotten hurt. 

Louis always gets hurt.

Then the anger cycle went round and round in his head again until he had yelled every profanity at Harry he could think of.  Until he had put Harry down in every way he knew how for hurting his friend.  His brother.

Harry begged and pleaded on his hands and knees for Zayn to let him into the hospital room that first afternoon.  The entirety of his vocabulary consisted of every variation of the word 'sorry', directed at both Louis and Zayn. 

Then Harry had the audacity to beg to stay at Zayn and Louis' flat.  Zayn didn't let him through the threshold until midnight when he heard Harry crying outside and curled in a ball on their porch sofa.

That's when the anger left and he let Harry in.  Zayn fed him chicken noodle soup and changed him out of his work clothes and into Louis' lounge clothes.  They fell asleep together in Louis' bed.

They've switched off visiting days.  The first day, Harry stayed with Louis while Zayn worked.  Yesterday Harry worked with Conner while Zayn stayed with Louis.  Today Zayn worked again and Harry stayed with Louis.

The redhead nurse, Olivia, comes in and Harry and Zayn pretend not to see her.  She gives them both a sympathetic look.  "I'm sorry boys.  I have to send you home now."

"How much longer?"  Harry asks.

"We can't be sure."  Olivia writes numbers down on her clipboard.

Zayn sees the emotion on Harry's face before he says anything.  Harry may try to keep his emotions under control, but he's still young; both stress and offense seem to bring out the worst side of Harry.  Unfortunately it's the easily offended side that more or less got them into this situation, and it's the stress side that has been debilitating Harry's self-control the last three days. 

Not that Zayn blames Harry one bit.  Zayn has been in a right frenzy too, but it's always been his job to stay put together for the sake of others around him.  To be able to pull apart chaotic and dangerous situations piece by piece until they aren't chaotic or dangerous anymore.  It's something he's had to learn through many years of reacting exactly how Harry is currently, and finally realizing that the alternative is much more productive.

Needless to say, Zayn is not surprised at all when Harry's glowers and raises his voice.

"What do you mean you can't be sure?  You've been inducing a coma for three days!  How much longer damn it?"  Harry kicks his chair back and stands up.

Olivia looks up from her papers.  "I'm sorry Mr. Styles.  We can't be sure because the last coma we induced was when he woke up two days ago.  His brain and body are showing signs that he's just asleep, so it's assumed there won't be any nervous tissue damage.  Since he's already been through this, his body probably already knows the amount of pain it will be in when he wakes up and might just be procrastinating it as long as possible.  There's no way to know when he'll wake up."

"It's assumed."  Harry parrots.

Zayn stands up to silence Harry.  "Harry she's just doing her job."

Harry raises his voice.  "Her job is to keep Louis healthy, not let him deteriorate on a fucking hospital cot!" 

Zayn treads towards Harry and then stops dead in his tracks when the monitor beeps in quicker succession. 

Olivia hits the call button and Zayn spans the room to grab Harry and shove themselves discreetly in the corner. 

He tightens his grip around both of Harry's arms, growls into Harry's ear.  "Shut the fuck up and don't make a scene and they might let us stay this time." 

Harry only nods and whimpers.

Louis' eyes fly open like last time and the heart monitor spikes up faster than before.  Olivia adjusts the bed to sit Louis upright and is holds a bin in front of his face.  Predictably, Louis vomits again. 

Zayn can't even imagine a pain exceeding his brain's threshold so much that it makes his body throw up.  He shudders and can feel Harry shaking in his arms too.

More nurses filter in, pressing buttons and administering more drugs.  Zayn cringes as Louis merely groans and gasps for air between vomiting. 

It wasn't half this bad when it happened to Louis 13 years ago. 

The nurses said this time that the amount of chain smoking he's done has seriously compromised the strength of his body, as well as would make it harder to recover because he'd also be going through withdrawals.  

This wasn't news to Zayn. 

Zayn is just glad out of all the things he chose to be, a veterinarian was it. 

Watching Louis go through the pain once was enough for Zayn to know exactly what he wanted to attend uni for.  He knew Louis wouldn't be ready to leave the platypai for years and years; and Zayn knew that meant a very high probability of him staying there right alongside with him.  If it wasn't Louis who got spurred again, he wanted to be prepared to help whomever it was that did get hurt.

It didn't take much convincing Conner for Zayn to keep a small vial of Lidocaine on hand for such emergencies.

When they arrived at the emergency room two days ago, the nurses said Louis' body was hardly a minute away from going into shock; if he had aspirated vomit into his lungs, it would have been a quick death.  The reason his body didn't go into shock- and fainted instead- was due to the Lidocaine Zayn had administered. 

That wasn't news to Zayn either.

He'll be damned if Louis dies on his watch.

Zayn hugs Harry closer into his chest and can feel him trembling.  They both watch silently until Louis stops dry heaving and his head falls back onto his pillow.

Olivia pulls the bin away from Louis.  "Louis, can you hear us?"

Louis nods.

"Can you see?"  The brunette nurse, Katherine asks.

Louis nods again.

"Can you speak?"  Olivia asks.

Louis opens his mouth and coughs.  His voice rasps out barely above a whisper.  "Yeah."

"Do you know where you are?"  The male nurse, Gabriel asks.

"Hospital.  M'name's Louis Tomlinson.  Date of birth December 24, 1986.  I've worked at Taronga Zoo in Sydney for 15 years.  I got spurred by a platypus earlier today."  Louis croaks out.

Olivia is furiously jotting down notes.  Katherine speaks up again.  "Do you know the date today?"

"Uh, fuck.  I dunno if I'd know that anyway.  Let's see, I was with Harry on the 15th of July, a month after Winter Solstice, which was Sunday- yesterday.  So Monday, July the 16th?"  Louis squints his eyes.

"You have an impeccable memory Louis.  You've been asleep for a little while though.  A few days actually."  Gabriel says.

Zayn feels Harry relax a little in his arms.

"How long?"  Louis looks down at his hands.

"About three days.  It's Thursday the 19th.  Your next of kin and civil partner-" Olivia glances down at her clipboard, "Zayn- said that it was a platypus attack."

"I'm well aware."  Louis says.

"We just need to ask you some routine questions regarding the attack.  Are you comfortable with everyone in the room?"  Olivia looks back up at Louis.

Zayn and Harry hold their breath as if to become invisible so that they won't get kicked out.  The nurses still haven't so much as looked their way.

"Yeah.  Okay?"  Louis glances at all the nurses in the room.

Zayn can't tell if Louis has noticed their presence yet.

"Did you do anything to aggravate the animal?"  Oliva asks, trying to stay monotone.

"Are you asking if I tried to commit suicide or if I'm a masochist?"  Louis deadpans.

"Quite honestly, both, Mr. Tomlinson."  Gabriel takes over.

Louis rolls his eyes.  "I know you have my medical records, so you'll see that last time I tried to kill myself, I chose the route of pills- which I would do again if I were to commit suicide, which I _won't_ because I'm happy hunky dory dandy with life- and unless you think I'm an incompetent zoo keeper, you know just as well as I that platypus venom isn't lethal to humans.  As far as masochism, I'm definitely not the one in the room you should be worried about."

Harry turns to bury his face into Zayn's shoulder to stifle a completely inappropriate giggle.  Zayn can't help but want to laugh a little too.  It's been too many days of sullen faces and heavy hearts.

"Sorry Louis, they're just our routine questions."  Olivia marks more things down on her paper.

"I understand.  Am I on a normal dose of Lidocaine and Fentanyl?  I feel abnormally coherent."  Louis looks down at his leg that's swollen to twice its size and then to the IV.

"We've doubled the dose of Lidocaine.  Since the attack 13 years ago, a new drug has been developed.  It's about the same strength as Fentanyl, but we felt it would better suit your situation.  Buprenorphine is what it's called."  Katherine says.

Zayn's face tenses up and Harry does the same in his arms.  There was a loud debacle over Zayn disagreeing with the nurses administering said medicine on the day of the incident.

"If it's supposed to be better suited to me, why does my best mate look like he's about to burn the hospital down?"  Louis asks, not taking his eyes off the nurses.

"He disagreed with our professional opinion."  Gabriel clips.

"Then why the fuck didn't you listen to him?  He's my civil partner and familiar with medicine."  Louis pushes sweaty hair off of his forehead.

Katherine attempts at sounding courteous.  "Unfortunately a civil partnership does not surpass our prerogative as your caretakers.  Though we appreciated Mr. Malik's input-" 

Louis interrupts her.  "Why can't you give me fucking Fentanyl?"

"Mr. Tomlinson."  Gabriel asserts.  "We mutually agreed that Buprenorphine would be best suited for you because of your addictive history with drugs.  When you were 16 you had neither the risk of addiction, nor an alternative which is the only reason why you were treated with Fentanyl-"

Louis interrupts again.  "Then why does Zayn disagree?  Surely he doesn't want me getting addicted either.  What's worse than addiction?"

Harry is quaking in Zayn's arms, still facing into his chest.  Zayn hugs him a little tighter.

Katherine speaks up.  "The drug is still quite new and is being tested- the side effects, of course, differ a little person to person- and then it has made it to the streets too early before proper stat-"

Louis huffs.  "God, stop feeding me bullshit please.  Zayn, why don't you want them giving me Bupren-whatever?"  He turns to face Zayn and Harry.

The whole room is silent.

Zayn chews on his bottom lip before sighing.  "It's known to cause death if the administration isn't completely exact."

Louis nods slowly.  "Please bring me the refusal consent forms for the drug... as well as some food.  I'd really like to be out of here by tomorrow."

Olivia nods.  "We'll get it right to you.  Please say goodbye to your friends.  Visiting hours have been over for an hour."

"Right.  Thank you."  Louis purses his lips together.

The nurses leave the room and Zayn releases Harry.  Harry runs over to the bedside and Zayn joins him.

"Louis I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry.  I understand completely if you hate me, but I'm sorry.  I'm such a fucking idiot and I should have listened to you and Zayn and I'm so sorry."  Harry rushes out.

"Calm down Haz, it's okay."  Louis reaches out to touch Harry's hand.

"God, not it's _not_!  You almost _died_ because of me!"  Harry wails.  "I'm so fucking sorry.  I won't ever forgive myself."

"Hey, what did you just say about listening to me?"  Louis strokes Harry's cheek, then moves it down to hold his hand again.  "Calm down please."

Harry looks downward and bites his lip for a moment before letting out a breath.  "How are you feeling?  Doesn't that hurt?"  Harry looks down at where Louis is touching him.

"I feel pretty shitty to be honest.  It's more just like my whole body aches and I have a massive migraine which I suspect is doubly worse because it's been three days since I've had a light."  Louis looks pointedly at Zayn, and damn, if Zayn hates withdrawals on a day-to-day basis, he can only imagine what it would feel like to have that intensified.

Louis looks back at Harry.  "But it doesn't hurt to touch you.  I... don't think it would hurt if you touched me.  The first 72 hours are passed which is when everything feels like hell.  Now I think it's mostly just pain that will be amplified."  Louis gently strokes the top of Harry's hand.

That's all Harry seems to need to lunge forward and feverishly kiss Louis. 

Zayn smiles for a moment before exiting the room to give them some privacy.  He has a hunch that they are still rather new in the physical territory and wants to give them space to figure it out amongst themselves.  He hopes Louis continues to loosen up with Harry. 

He hears the continued sound of lips smacking, then some low whisperings.  Harry walks out a few moments later blushing at the ground.  "Sorry.  You could've stayed."

"I know."  Zayn smiles.  "I'll only be a minute.  Meet you down at the car."

"Okay."  Harry takes the keys from Zayn and shuffles down the hall.

Zayn smirks when he walks into the room to see Louis looking distressed. 

"Out of all the times for him to want to fucking snog me for the first time, it's when I wake up after days of not brushing my teeth and countless times vomiting."  Louis complains.  "And now it's basically the sole thing my body is focused on, and you two are leaving me hot and bothered, to my own devices, alone in a fucking hospital."

"You have two guys that would snog you regardless of what was recently in your mouth."  Zayn chuckles.  "First world problems bro."

Louis' tone softens.  "Thank you for looking after Harry... and me... again."

"Didn't have much an option with Harry.  He cried on our porch sofa until I brought him in and lured him to sleep."  Zayn brushes a strand away from Louis' forehead.  "As for you... I will always be here for you.  Through the light and dark, the good and bad, and all the rest of your near death experiences you want to put me through.  I love you."

Louis looks into his eyes and wraps his arms around Zayn's neck.  Zayn buries his face into Louis' shoulder and places two kisses to his neck.  Louis kisses Zayn's ear before whispering into it.  "I love you too.  Thank you."

Zayn pulls away and gives Louis a last kiss to his forehead.  "Get some sleep.  Your phone is charged and on the nightstand if you need us.  I'm making Harry come to work with me tomorrow so that we can give you more time to recover."

"Good."  Louis smiles.  "You better get going before midnight maintenance kicks you out."

Zayn gives him a thin smile.  "Sleep well.  Goodnight."  Zayn pats the doorframe before exiting.

The drive back to his flat is silent, but both Zayn and Harry have grins plastered on their faces.  Once they're in Louis' bed together, Zayn pulls Harry in close to him and tucks his nose into a divot in the back of Harry's neck that he's grown quite fond of.

"Louis seemed a little more... mouthy than usual... with the nurses..."  Harry says tentatively.

Zayn exhales against the back of Harry's neck.  "Pain changes people.  Just give him a little while to get back to normal.  Honestly, tonight was nothing to be worried about." 

"Okay.  I trust you."  Harry whispers.

"How much?"  Zayn interlaces Harry's hand in his own.

Harry bends his head backward as much as his body permits so that they're nearly face-to-face.  "I trust you completely." 

Harry takes a long moment to inspect Zayn's face, eyes lingering much longer than necessary on his lips.  Zayn keeps his cool demeanor on the outside when on the inside he feels the opposite. 

It's been like this with Harry the last couple days.  They say things and then there's looks and then there's feelings.  Really strong feelings.  Zayn doesn't have to ask to know that Harry feels it too.

Harry's pouty lips open up and he looks Zayn straight in the eyes.  "Do you trust me?"

"Yes.  Completely."  Zayn swallows dryly. 

Harry gives him a long, obvious look again that makes Zayn want to simultaneously snog the life out of him and fuck him into the headboard.  And yes, he does feel guilty for it since Harry is Louis' love interest and Louis is currently in the hospital after a near death experience.  It doesn't stop the feelings from being present though.

Harry finally turns around, seemingly satisfied with whatever he was looking for, and doesn't say anything.

"Go to sleep now.  It's going to be a long day at work."  Zayn pets back Harry's curls and kisses the back of his neck.

Harry sighs and scooches further back into the profile of Zayn's body until he's snug against it.  "G'night."

"Night."  Zayn whispers.

~~~


	21. Chapter 20

A/N: Thank you so much for all the support in the Bromance Awards!! Fading Zen placed second which is awesome!

Dedicated to KaeLyn86 for her kind comment and anticipation for this chapter ;)

~~~

L

Louis wakes up to the smell of plastic again. The oxygen blowing lightly into his nostrils feels like a sandstorm in the desert.

His nose is only a little dry.

He lifts a hand up to paw at the nasal cannula until he gets it off from around his ears. He lays his head back on the pillow slowly, making sure not to bump his head; and gently clasps his hands on his stomach before he lays back so he doesn't hit the bed rails with his elbows.

He is not ready for this life again.

No plucking his eyebrows. Mosquito and bug repellant 24/7. Too-heavy grocery bags digging lines into fingers. Double checking each step he takes for threats to tripping. Vomiting every time he gets accidentally elbowed too hard. Keeping his nails short to prevent hangnails.

He definitely does not want this.

It's not the first time he has wished such a thing for his life, but he truly hopes it will be the last.

He reaches over for his phone to text Zayn and Harry. His hand almost bumps against a vase that he didn't notice the night before.

It's filled with forget-me-nots and a note.

_I'll be thinking of you when you read this. Hope you're feeling a little better xx_

He impels himself to text Zayn first, letting him know he was awake, alive, and an approximate discharge time.

He composes a text to Harry immediately after.

**Thank you so much for the flowers xx**

It's only a few moments later when his phone buzzes in his hand, sending a vibrating jolt through his whole body.

**Forget about it ;)**

He bites back a smile then sighs, silencing his phone, and calls for the nurse.

It's a long afternoon filled with doctors, nurses, paperwork, needles being removed, and- most importantly- cautious and methodical movements.

Zayn and Harry walk up to the nurse's station where Louis is leaning against the counter signing his last pile of papers.

Louis turns around to give them both proper hugs, letting his weight rest against them. "Thank you so much for coming to pick me up Z. Haz, you really didn't have to come."

"Actually he did. He's been living at ours the last several days. His car's in Penrith." Zayn says.

"Oh. You've been driving with Zayn?" Louis asks unnecessarily.

"Yeah." Harry exchanges a glance with Zayn that makes Louis want to ask more redundant questions.

So he does.

"You've been sleeping at our flat?" Louis watches for the change in Harry's face.

Harry's eyes widen a little and he looks at Zayn again. "Yeah..."

"Where?" Louis asks Zayn this time.

"In your bed. You finished up here?" Zayn looks pointedly at Louis' left hand. His left hand is his signature hand.

"Yep. That was the last one." Louis smiles thinly. He adjusts his crutches under his armpits and heads towards the elevator with Zayn and Harry in tow.

He thinks what he's feeling is envy. Envious that Zayn's had three days of Harry to himself. Which, in reality, is a completely unfair thing to be envious over.

He thinks part of the envy may be because Zayn and Harry are fully functional and Louis is temporarily handicapped. Not his ideal.

Like he's told himself thousands of times before, there's no use in dwelling on what he can't change. And this definitely will not be changing any time soon.

Harry's fidgeting beside him in the elevator. Louis' sure he has a billion questions, but he's not quite in the mood to invite Harry to ask them. So he lets Harry fidget in silence.

The elevator ride takes extra-long- mocking Louis' current disability. Not that he was ever super athletic per say, but he would absolutely be able to run down five flights of stairs a lot faster than the rate the elevator is going.

Zayn stands stoically, probably very prepared for what the next few months are going to be like for him. There's no way in hell that Louis would stay home until he's healed, but he knows he's going to have to take a two or three weeks off so that he doesn't vomit on stage if the microphone drops on his foot. This unfortunately will create a bit of an extra work load for Zayn.

He thinks he'll be just fine though. Zayn's always been fine at managing copious amounts of stress. Louis wonders if he had to go through the same internal learning process that Louis did. Or maybe Zayn just came pre-programmed to not be stressed by things.

It's been a while since he's had a good heart to heart with Zayn when they weren't both smoking or, on rare occasion, drunk. He should probably make more of an effort with all the shit he puts Zayn through on a day-to-day basis.

The elevator bumps to a stop and Harry's head snaps towards Louis, and an arm seems to reflexively come up to protect him.

"I didn't lose muscle control or my ability to balance. Chill." Louis says.

Zayn eyes them both silently.

When they get to the car, Harry gets the door for Louis, and Louis feels a little bitter. Bitter that he was the one to do that for Harry mere days ago, and now he doesn't have the ability to do so.

Harry helps him in the front seat like he's a china doll, and though Louis appreciates the help, it's also a frustratingly obvious indicator to his current situation. Kind of like when his parents died. Everybody brought him casseroles. Though the thought was nice, it always felt a little bit like the universe rubbing a big, fat 'fuck you' in his face; reminding him that he didn't have parents to make casseroles for him.

They drive in silence for a few blocks.

"Where are we going?" Harry leans in between Louis and Zayn's seats.

"Park." Zayn answers.

"Why?" Harry asks, completely unbarred.

"Don't ask questions that you won't like the answers to." Zayn says.

Louis is grateful for Zayn stepping in, but realizes that Harry truly doesn't know why they are going to the closest park possible.

Louis takes pity and gives him a proper answer. "Just gonna take a quick 15 minute pit stop. You should probably stay in the car."

Harry doesn't get it. "Why?"

Zayn sighs.

Louis looks out the window as they pull in to the abandoned park.

"Haz, pass me my jacket please." Zayn puts the car into park.

Harry sets it in Zayn's lap. "Louis, d'you want my jacket?"

"No, I'm fine." Louis opens the door and carefully maneuvers his crutches onto the blacktop. He looks dismally at the ground, and decides to wait for Zayn because if he slips or loses footing, well...

He sighs and Harry jumps out of the car to help him safely onto his crutches.

"Harry, you really should probably stay in the car." Louis says as he straightens out his shirt.

"Stop treating me like a child please." Harry avoids Louis' gaze, and follows behind Zayn.

They make their way to the picnic table surrounded by a few trees. The dusk sky casts a dark purple over the top of the grass.

Zayn sets his jacket on the table and pulls out a cigar. "Preference?"

"May I, actually?" Louis holds out a hand.

"Sure. You've always been faster anyway." Zayn gives him the cigar and bag of weed.

Harry's eyes are larger than an owl's as he watches the exchange. Louis ignores him and cuts into the wrapper with his nails that won't be there for much longer. He opts for rolling it all with weed. Two minutes later, Louis licks the wrapping shut and Zayn pulls out a light for him.

Harry's discomfort is obvious. Louis and Zayn give each other a mutual expression; completely expecting this to happen, and frustrated that Harry isn't just going to the car. Louis figures if he says anything, it's going to end with a soapbox from Harry. But he hates being impolite even more.

So Louis takes two long drags before he passes it to Zayn and finally speaks. "If you're uncomfortable, you're welcome to wait in the car."

Harry turns to him, aggravated. "You almost _died_ because your body was so weak from smoking! You've been clean for three days and have an opportunity to stop, and the second you leave the hospital, you're smoking again?"

Zayn stays silent behind the blunt, re-lighting it after the small breeze puts it out quicker than normal.

"Anything else?" Louis asks.

Harry looks affronted. "Yeah actually. I think it's _ridiculous_ that you smoke! You could be so healthy and- and..."

"Have a long life and die naturally?" Louis supplies.

Harry runs hands through his hair. "I should have waited in the car."

Zayn passes the blunt to Louis and speaks to Harry. "You should have."

Harry's about to stand up and leave when Louis sticks his arm out to keep Harry seated. Harry sits back down and looks at Louis expectantly.

"Care for a smoke?" Louis offers the blunt to him.

Harry looks absolutely flabbergasted, and Louis would find it amusing if he didn't understand how personally offended Harry probably is at the moment. "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you mocking me, or-?"

Louis shakes his head. "Smokers etiquette. You're more than welcome to refuse. I just hate being impolite."

Harry looks like he's just been handed a bag of circus make-up and told to put it on.

Zayn snickers.

"Why are you offering now?" Harry folds his arms.

Louis takes a drag before answering. "You're an adult. You can make your own decisions." Another drag, and he continues. "And right now, you're definitely not trying to impress either of us, so I'm not too worried about that."

Harry looks pleased as punch.

Louis holds it out for him and Harry pauses before he takes it between his fingers.

"Inhale slow and deep into your lungs. Don't swallow. Hold for like, three seconds, then exhale and cough. It'll be hot on your throat." Louis instructs.

Harry looks at the drug between his fingertips and Louis thinks he may change his mind. Harry glances to Louis and Zayn again before bringing the blunt up to his lips. Louis is a little more delighted than he thinks he should be, but this is a little more than fulfilling to watch.

Harry follows Louis' instructions, all the while trying to keep a soft face, but the tenseness still shows through. When he blows the smoke back out, he looks pained.

"Cough." Zayn says.

Harry shakes his head. "'M fine."

"Don't be an idiot." Louis slaps him hard on the back- sending a jolt of pain through his body- and sending Harry into a fit of coughs. Louis and Zayn politely don't laugh, and honestly Louis wishes he had some water to give Harry.

Harry's free hand is brought up to his mouth as he coughs over and over again. Louis rubs Harry's back until he's calmed down. Harry blindly holds the blunt out for Louis to take.

"You can take another hit if you'd like before passing. It's not as bad the second time." Louis traces circles against Harry's jacket.

Harry holds up a finger, signifying for them to give him a minute. He raises his head again and shakes the look off his face. The blunt goes between his lips again, and Harry smokes more confidently this time; and when he breathes it out, he's not scared to cough loudly.

Zayn takes it from Harry to take a couple hits.

Harry looks at Louis with a questioning look. Louis smiles and wraps his arm around his back to hold on to Harry's arm. Harry beams under Louis' approval.

"I feel fuzzy in the head. Like... lighter." Harry leans his head on Louis' shoulder.

"Not nauseous at all?" Louis takes his turn smoking.

"No." Harry says.

"You can have two more hits if you think you can handle it. Don't push yourself." Louis hands it to Harry.

"Yeah, I can. I'm fine." Harry sits up to take two proper drags, making it look much more natural. After blowing out his second huff, he giggles.

Zayn smirks and Louis pulls Harry down on his shoulder again.

"I'm sorry for being uptight and judgmental. I didn't mean it... I just didn't know how to react." Harry looks up at Louis with big eyes. "I care about you and just want you to be okay."

Louis hums. "Thanks love. Smoking helps me be more okay." Zayn hands him the blunt.

"Does it help numb the pain?" Harry asks.

Louis turns his head away to blow the smoke towards Zayn. "A little. When I slapped your back earlier it hurt. If I were to do so now, it probably wouldn't hurt half as bad."

"You can blow the smoke towards me." Harry smiles. "I don't mind since I smoke now." He giggles.

Louis smiles through another exhale. "Look at you jumping in head first."

Louis is about to hand it off to Zayn when Harry puts a hand on Louis' lap and speaks up. "May I have another? Please?" He smiles a toothy grin.

Louis looks to Zayn to let him be the deciding factor. Zayn flicks his eyes to Harry. "When's the last time you ate? Lunch?"

"Yeah I think so. You were with me all day, so..." Harry trails off.

Zayn shakes his head. "No more for you then, unless you want to get proper baked."

"But I feel so much better about myself. Like I just feel really... good." Harry smiles dopily back at Zayn.

"Exactly. So let's not ruin it by over smoking your first time." Zayn takes the smoke from Louis.

Harry gives Louis proper puppy dog eyes that Louis really cares for much more than he'd like to admit. "Just one more?"

Louis smirks. "Daddy said no, so now you ask mommy? Is that how it works at home too?"

Harry's pupils engorge and a giant smile takes over his face. He slaps a hand over his grin and bursts into a laughing fit.

Louis and Zayn exchange an amused glance.

Harry keeps laughing, now buckled over in Louis' lap and head rolling around mercilessly. Louis really can't afford a hit to his manhood right now, but can't bring himself to make Harry sit up.

There's more than a little endorphins running between the three, and it makes Louis a little antsy. There's obviously nothing to do about said situation considering his current physical state. He supposes the most he can do is just enjoy what's being given and not complain. The weed definitely helps lift his overall begrudging mood. He's going to need to order more from Niall sooner rather than later.

Harry seems to have calmed down and opts for just laying his head contently on Louis' lap, looking upwardly at him with a permanent grin plastered to his face. Louis looks down at Harry and blows a rope of smoke onto his face.

Harry squints his eyes shut and laughs. "What do you call an invisible carrot?"

Louis and Zayn roll their eyes at each other.

"What?" Louis muses.

Harry's laughing before the punchline is even out of his mouth. "A... a ghost carrot!" Harry bursts into hysterics and wraps his arms around his stomach.

And it's just... _so_... terrible that Louis and Zayn can't help but laugh at the sheer stupidity of it.

Harry giggles contently in Louis' lap for another several minutes until Zayn and Louis have finished off their blunt.

Louis taps the side of Harry's face. "Sit up love."

"Why?" Harry cocks his head to the side.

"Don't want you breathing in cigarettes." Louis heaves Harry upright.

"But I'll be breathing in cigarettes when I kiss you." Harry readjusts his jacket.

Louis holds back the expression fighting its way onto his face. "You plan on kissing me after I smoke cigarettes?"

Zayn fishes out the pack and lights a stick for both Louis and himself.

"I plan on kissing you as much as you'll let me." Harry gives Louis a look like he's just won a debate.

Zayn purses his lips animatedly at Louis, and Louis turns to Harry. "How about a quick kiss before?"

Harry leans in until his face is a mere inch away from Louis and starts giggling again. "'M nervous."

"It's just me. Nothing to be nervous over." Louis whispers against Harry's lips.

Harry continues to hesitate, which makes Louis hesitate since he doesn't want to push it with Harry. Zayn seems to have made an executive decision for the both of them though, and nudges Louis' back enough to bump his lips into Harry's.

There's only a light sensation of pain in his back, but it's quickly masked by the pleasure of Harry's perfectly pink, plush lips mashing against his own. It's uncoordinated and a little frenetic because they're both grasping onto the fact that their lips are now connected and they have to make the most of the moment before it ends.

Harry's reciprocation really comforts Louis because he doesn't feel in over his head for how much he enjoys it. Louis tangles a hand in Harry's curls and pulls him in a little more. Harry's mouth opens at that, and Louis responds by doing the same. Harry tastes like weed in a way that he normally associates with Zayn, but has his own distinct flavor and it's absolutely phenomenal.

Louis really doesn't want it to stop, but they're in public, and Zayn's sitting so close to them that Louis can feel his butt touching Zayn's thigh and he thinks he really needs to reconsider his morals.

When he pulls his hand from Harry's hair and separates their mouths, Harry outright whines. Louis feels like he needs to catch his breath for a moment and wishes he could take a quick jog around the cluster of trees surrounding them.

Louis looks over at Zayn for some kind of help or guidance; but Zayn is just sitting contently with two half smoked cigarettes in his mouth.

Zayn shrugs. "You were taking too long. You're welcome to finish them off though." Zayn holds them both out for Louis.

Louis takes one of them and smokes it as quickly as he can; pointedly avoiding looking at Harry's face because if he sees those beautiful eyelashes, he probably won't be able to help but touch and kiss them.

"We in a hurry for something?" Zayn quirks an eyebrow.

"Nope." Louis hands Zayn the butt and reaches for his crutches. "Let's go."

When they get back to Louis and Zayn's flat 20 minutes later, Louis sees Harry's Honda Civic parked on the street that had magically appeared since yesterday when Harry's car was supposedly still in Penrith. Louis wonders why a Honda Civic. He could probably afford a BMW if he wanted.

Harry helps Louis out of the car again, and into the house. Louis takes extra care while crossing the door jamb to avoid Zayn's shoe warehouse scattered on the ground. Harry slings Louis' crutches over his shoulder so that Harry is the only thing that's coming between Louis and a floor-ful of pain.

Louis asks, clinging to Harry. "You're not going to let me fall, are you?"

Harry wraps his arms a little tighter around Louis' side. "Never. You can trust me."

Zayn exchanges another questionable glance with Harry that reminds Louis to investigate that topic further.

"Not to be intrusive; but I'm going to be intrusive. What exactly happened between you two while I was in the casualty ward?" Louis sits at the island with the help of Harry.

"Why do you think anything happened between us?" Harry asks like he thinks he's being nonchalant.

Louis gives Zayn a look, and he knows Zayn knows that they've known each other too long to even think about not being straightforward with one another.

Zayn fills a glass of water for himself and Louis. "I just slept with him in your bed. Nothing more than some late night pillow talk and comforting over a mutual love interest who was hospitalized."

Right. Louis should have guessed that. Predictable really. He feels silly for not thinking of it before.

Louis still doesn't know quite how he feels about that. Left out, he believes, would be the juvenile term for it. Which is immature obviously. The sensible part of his brain tells him that he actually is thrilled Zayn and Harry get on so well. He just... wishes he was there to witness it is all.

"Good." Is all Louis manages to express.

"Don't be weird about it. We all love each other. This is a mutually beneficial relationship sprouting here." Zayn says like it's not a big deal.

Harry looks proper flustered, and Louis feels a bit the same on the inside. And if Harry and Louis are on the same level of thinking with Zayn's words, then there's no way Zayn isn't thinking it too; considering Zayn is definitely a sexually motivated person.

And well, Louis wouldn't say he's ever really had such strong sexual desires that he's altered the course of his life to follow them. He's seen it happen over and over again with Zayn and other peers, and he never quite understood why everyone made everything about sex. Louis found perfect contentment in his work and personal learning.

Harry however, definitely seems to be a bit more on the same level as Zayn with the sexual motivation factor. One to definitely think five steps ahead as to how his actions can get him what he wants. Louis admires it really; but it would be a lie to say that he doesn't feel a little out of depth when talking about such things so openly with two people vastly more sexually experienced than him.

Back to the current conversation at hand, Louis really doesn't know if he or Harry should take the initiative to respond, or if it's really meant to be responded to in the first place. Some things aren't meant to be answered (something he's learned courtesy of Zayn).

Harry seems to have made a decision to avoid pushing the topic further. "Louis, you must be starved for some actual food. What are you in the mood for?"

Since he asked, Louis very honestly wants to retort with a sexual comeback, since it would be both witty and honest. However, since Harry's obviously trying to stray from said topic, Louis thinks he'll keep it to himself.

That piques the thought that Harry seems much more comfortable in his flat than before. Again, not a bad thing, but Louis feels like he's just missed out on some vital points of Harry's outside-of-work comfort development in his home.

"Well Zayn and I picked up a bunch of vegetables to make a root stir fry a couple days ago, so that sounds good." Louis says.

Harry and Zayn exchange another glance, and damn if Louis isn't starting to get slightly irritated here. He's going to need another cigarette if they keep this up.

Zayn answers again- Harry seemingly worried about saying the wrong thing. "That was six days ago love. Harry and I made a stir fry Tuesday night because the veggies were going bad."

Louis blinks. More to accept feeling a little stupid about the fact that he's essentially missed three days of his life. He wonders if this is what it will be like when he starts to get Alzheimer's.

"I can make macaroni and cheese?" Harry offers.

"Not part of Louis' diet." Zayn folds his arms and taps his foot on the floor as he and Harry exchange thoughtful glances.

"Okay, I can very well feed myself. I don't need you two babying me. I'll make my own damn food." Louis is independent, _thankyouverymuch_.

Only, he's really not equipped to be independent right now. It's made very literally _painfully_ clear when his good ankle gives out on him and his body helplessly collapses on top of itself.

There is a loud yell that comes from his mouth, and then there's vomiting. Like a jackhammer that wouldn't let up on his leg, the pain doesn't stop. Louis knows what comes next though, and he knows it's only about to get worse.

He focuses on breathing in between his hospital lunch being regurgitated. Harry is at his side and sweeping his fringe out of his face.

Zayn's down by his legs a moment later. "Hang on to Harry. This is going to hurt."

Louis grasps on to Harry for dear life, and Zayn pulls the bandaging and gauze back to stick the needle directly into the closing wound.

Louis screams. He screams because he is terribly self-aware of the pain and how it increases and increases until he's sure he's bruised Harry's arm. He bites back the next wave of noise his lungs want to push out, because he really can get through this without completely losing all dignity.

The antiseptic finally starts to settle in and barely curb off the high notes of the pain. Louis ignores the tears streaming down his face and squeezes his eyes shut to breathe through it. He's done this before. He can do it again. It's only this bad for a couple weeks. He can do this.

He doesn't realize Harry has him completely seated in his lap, and has long fingers brushing through Louis' now-sweaty fringe. It's really comforting and helps give him something to think on other than the pain.

It's probably another 10 minutes until the pain fully subsides into a dull ache through his whole body and his heart rate has returned to normal. Zayn cleans up the mess surrounding Harry and Louis.

"I mean... I know you're not okay... but are you okay?" Harry hasn't moved from his spot on the floor, holding Louis in his lap, and Louis is sure his legs have to be asleep by now.

"Yeah." Louis squeezes his eyes shut. "Fine."

He shuffles off Harry's lap and bends his right knee to try and stand up by himself. Harry offers a hand out. Louis really hates being down- both literally and metaphorically- and yes he has a sense of pride and independence. However, that very recently didn't end in his favor as he fell off a fucking chair.

If there's one thing Louis has learned, it's to accept a little bit of help right after you fail. From the time he's relied on Zayn in his teenage years, to letting Conner help him get his job at the Platitat back. Right now, Louis is failing pretty badly at being independent, and he maybe needs to accept some help before going it alone again.

Louis wonders why his life seems to go in circles around the same principles over and over again.

He takes Harry's hand and Harry helps him to the bathroom to brush his teeth. After that, it's back to the kitchen where Zayn has made a spicy pasta with veggies.

Harry returns home after three nights of staying at Louis and Zayn's flat. Zayn sleeps in Louis' bed again tonight, but this time it's Louis who's spooned between Zayn's arms.

~~~


	22. Chapter 21

A/N: Double update for fun! Love you guys <3

~~~

The next three weeks, Zayn stays home with Louis- despite Louis' protests.  Zayn doesn't want Louis risking going into the Platitat where Perry may still show aggression and spur him again.

Luckily there's only been three times where Zayn's had to administer Lidocaine.  The first time being the car door hitting his leg when he shut it too soon; the second time was in the supermarket when a child rammed a shopping cart into Louis' shin; and the most recent one was Louis tripping over their peeling linoleum kitchen floor.

So maybe it's been really beneficial for Zayn to be around Louis 24/7 with a syringe and medicine in his pocket.  Absolutely not Louis' first choice; but when he thinks back to the grocery store incident... well... he definitely would've rather had Zayn be there than not.

The rest of the times weren't severe enough to use the medicine.  Even if there was a bit of yelling and loud cursing, Zayn and Louis compromised on no Lidocaine unless there was vomiting. 

It was particularly painful when Louis nicked himself shaving his face, or that time he stubbed his toe against his bed frame.  Zayn was by his side the moment the cacophony started up and stayed until it was over.

Right now though, Louis is currently on the ground because he's just dropped his crutches on his foot.

"Fuck me dead!  Just cut off my mother fucking legs!"  Louis runs his hands through his hair- but does not pull.  "They're more trouble than they're worth." 

"Mate, I really don't think you'd ever forgive me if I sawed off your legs.  Besides, I only know how to do dog limb amputations with small saws."  Zayn chucks the crutch to the other side of the room to give Louis more space on the floor.

"Fuck that, it'll saw off my femur just fine.  I'd rather drag my balls through broken glass than keep my leg at this point."  Louis lays back onto the living room floor to even out his breathing.

"I really don't have a sanitary facility to do such an extreme surgery.  Sorry."  Zayn reasons.

"That hasn't stopped you from shoving a needle into my leg before.  In a fucking supermarket no less."  Louis spreads his body out like a starfish to maybe try and let the pain distribute evenly through his whole body.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures mate.  Doesn't mean it's a proper excuse for me to chop your leg off though."  Zayn massages Louis' shoulders and it helps him relax.  "Besides, the venom is in your blood and your brain.  Chopping off a leg would just leave you legless."

"Take pity on me Zayn.  Please?"  Louis looks up at Zayn with puppy dog eyes. 

Zayn rolls his eyes.  "You have Harry for that.  I'm here for pain management and company- which I know you're sick of- but unfortunately I'm the one with the somewhat legitimate medicine license.  I could always call up Derek though... See how he would feel about unethically helping you out and only getting your bitchy begging in return." 

Louis looks down at the carpet feeling a little ashamed.  "I'm sorry.  You should really take a day for yourself.  It's been three weeks.  I'll manage just fine without you."

"Louis, you tripped over the linoleum two days ago and hit your elbow so hard that you almost passed out.  I know it's been a few weeks, but your overall pain threshold isn't adapting as quickly as it did last time.  You could be driving and have any amount of unexpected things hurt you- whether it just causes a temporary distraction, or causes you to vomit and black out- it's really dangerous."  Zayn helps Louis back up to his feet.

"Then at least drag me to work with you, _please_.  I'm so sick of basically being on house arrest; and I know your sanity is severely suffering.  Conner needs us there."  Louis tries.

"Conner doesn't need us.  Harry's basically running the Platitat now.  Conner doesn't even go in hardly at all anymore.  Harry's completely trained the new girl Marti, and they temporarily hired a volunteer to help out for a half day on the weekends."  Zayn says.

"Then can we just go observe then?  I've watched every documentary on Netflix and read all the books in the library's astronomy section.  What if our children have forgotten about us?"  Louis whines.

"They won't forget us, and if they do, then it's okay because forgetting is a normal part of life."  Zayn sits down on the couch.  "Besides, we're all kind of hoping that Perry has forgotten you, because he may still harbor resentment over you attacking his beloved."

Louis sighs and takes a seat next to Zayn. 

"How about we go to Niall's barbeque this weekend?  Would that help you feel less cooped up?"  Zayn offers.

Louis sits up straighter.  "I will if you let Harry take a turn and spend the day with me."

Zayn shakes his head.  "I wasn't trying negotiate with you.  I'm _trying_ to do something nice for you.  Besides, Harry can't administer Lidocaine.  You need it so your body doesn't go into shock and aspirate again."

"So teach him properly."  Louis argues.  "He's seen you do it at the Platitat, here in the kitchen, then in the carport when the door slammed my shin.  He doesn't get as freaked out anymore."

"It's not Harry's responsibility."  Zayn says simply.

"He keeps _telling_ us to let him help more.  He's already brought us dinner a dozen times since this whole fiasco started.  He wants to do more."  Louis says.  "I could text him right now and ask, and I guarantee you he'd be more than okay with it."

Zayn snorts.  "Only because that means he gets free blunts and hour long make out sessions with you." 

Louis narrows his eyes at Zayn.  "He's rich as fuck, he doesn't use us for weed.  I can ask him to contribute if it bothers you that fucking much."

Zayn is silent for a moment. 

"Sorry.  I didn't mean that."  Zayn massages his temples.  "I've just been cooped up for a while too.  I think we're both going a little stir crazy."

"Sooo...."  Louis encourages.

"So."  Zayn grimaces.  "Have your boyfriend come over after work today and I'll teach him."

Louis really wants to jump up and down and punch the air with his hands, but he really can't.  Instead he viciously bounces up and down on the couch.  "Yes!  Yes!  Yes, thank you!"

He doesn't even bother correcting Zayn about the fact that Harry isn't his boyfriend.  Harry is.  Well.  They're just not there yet.

Louis grabs Zayn by both cheeks and gives him a fierce kiss.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Fucksticks, calm down.  It's too early for this."  Zayn rubs at his eyes.

Louis pulls out his phone.  "I'll text him, and help me shower, and then we'll eat, and then we'll clean again, and then we can play another game of chess, and-"

Zayn clamps a hand over Louis' mouth.  "Shhhhhh."

Louis shuts his mouth and looks at his phone instead to text Harry.

**Haz, Haz, Haz guess what!**

Louis taps on the side of his phone for ten seconds before sending another one.

**Haz?????**

He waits another 30 seconds before turning to Zayn.  "Zayn, he's taking forever to reply."

Zayn rolls his eyes.  "He's probably just barely finishing up the first presentation.  Give him like, 30 minutes, then you can complain to me."

His phone screeches at him.  "Hey!  Listen!" 

Harry had, at some point in the last week, changed Louis' text tone to Navi specifically for his number.  It's a little puerile, yes, but Louis can't help but find it cute.  He's never had someone do that for him before.

**What, what, what my lovely papaya pudding????**

Zayn squints his eyebrows, reading over Louis' shoulder.  "What the fu-"

Louis slaps his face away so he can reply to Harry.  "Shut up cunt.  You're just jealous."

**Z says he'll teach you how to shoot me up with druggies today so we can spend a day together!**

"Your guys' enthusiasm makes me want to vomit."  Zayn moans.

"Our enthusiasm is what will keep you young."  Louis pats Zayn's shoulder.

Zayn gives Louis a deadpan look. 

Louis' phone vibrates so he doesn't have time to come up with an appropriate response back.

**BONZERRRRRRRR HUZZAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D**

"What is he even trying to say?"  Zayn asks.

"That he loves me."  Louis smarts as he types his response.

**< 3 u 2 hazzie xxxxxx**

"I honestly do not understand you two.  He has you talking like a 12-year-old again bro."  Zayn says.

"Says the one calling me 'bro'."  Louis retorts.  Harry's response comes through and Louis opens it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Zayn shakes his head.  "Whatever keeps you happy mate."

"I get bored okay?  Our texting relationship has grown leaps and bounds since I've been essentially bed ridden; and besides, we decided it's much more fun to be expressive rather than boring."  Louis argues.

"Like I said... Whatever keeps you happy."  Zayn ruffles Louis' hair.

~~~


	23. Chapter 22

A/N: Early update today since I will be preoccupied at noon.

 

As always, thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting! 

-Dannie

~~~

At 4:39 pm, Harry comes bursting through the door to Louis and Zayn's flat. Louis spins around slowly on his barstool and opens his arms to Harry who wraps arms around his neck and attaches lips to Louis' immediately.

"Missed you s'much." Harry mumbles into their kisses. "Sorry 'm late." Harry pets Louis' fringe and kisses from Louis' chin up to his forehead. "It's been a couple days, how're you?"

"S'good now mmm." Louis hums and squeezes Harry's waist.

They pull away only enough to take a brief look into each other's eyes, then their lips collide again.

"Shall I pull out a camcorder? You two have lost all filter while I'm around that I'm starting to believe it's because you want an audience." Zayn muses over the counter.

Harry parts from Louis to skip over to Zayn and nuzzle into his chest. "All the love for you too Zaynie."

Harry tilts his head to look up at Zayn, and Zayn kisses his forehead. "Don't mind me. Carry on with your greetings."

Harry gives Zayn a quick kiss to his neck and trails back to Louis like a ghost chasing after Pac-Man. "So do I get to learn now?" He directs his question at Zayn.

"That excited to get rid of me, hmm?" Zayn turns to open the fridge and retrieve the vial.

Harry and Louis look at each other and snicker before sharing a quick kiss.

"Okay." Zayn passes the vial and syringe to Harry. "The only time you are to administer Lidocaine is when Louis vomits from pain."

"I figured as much." Harry says.

Zayn points to the refrigerator. "It has to stay refrigerated when you're home. If you're out and about, make sure to bring a sterilized syringe- I actually bring two just in case- and as soon as you come back, stick it in the fridge again."

Harry nods. "Easy enough. Medicine basics really."

Zayn nods. "When Louis feels pain, it's going to hurt his whole body, but it's going to be especially concentrated around where he was spurred. It's also important to keep the inflammation of his shin down. Obviously it's bad if it's flaring up every other day. So, any time you give him an injection, it has to be right by the wound. It's closed up now, and we don't want to ruin the scarring, so just to the side of the wound will suffice."

Harry eyes Louis' leg- currently covered by sweatpants- and nods again. "Next to the wound. Got it."

"Have you ever extracted liquid from a vial before?" Zayn shuffles around the counter to get closer to Harry.

Harry shakes his head.

Zayn uncaps a syringe to demonstrate. "Stick it through the rubber until the needle hits the bottom of the glass. Don't pull from the top of the liquid or you'll get too much air with it. Always extract more than you'll need, because you have to- _have to_ \- get the air bubbles out by pushing some back into the vial." Zayn waits for Harry to affirm that he understands, then continues.

"So, in the end, you want the liquid at this line here." Zayn points to the line on the syringe. "That's the proper dosage for one administration. If another incident occurs shortly after, you may give him another dosage." He looks up at Harry. "I want you to listen to this next part, and listen good."

Harry's eyes double in size and he nods seriously.

"I don't care how much pain you see Louis in, I don't care if he passes out, I don't care how badly you feel, do _not_ give him more than 15.11 milligrams within two hours. Take him to the emergency room. Do you understand?" Zayn points the syringe at Harry.

"So if he gets hurt, I give him 5 milligrams. If he gets hurt again, I can give him another 5 milligrams. That leaves me with a buffer of 5 if a third incident happens within those two hours?" Harry repeats.

"Yes. If something _severe_ happens, you are to give him the full 15 milligrams and call an ambulance so that they can get fluids in him and induce a coma. By severe, I mean another platypus or venomous creature attacks him or you get in a car crash. Severe meaning it would put a normal person in a massive amount of pain. Do you understand?" Zayn asks.

"I understand." Harry says.

"I assume you know how to keep him from aspirating in dire circumstances?" Zayn asks.

"Just make sure he's on his side so he doesn't inhale any vomit into his lungs? Like you've done each time?" Harry asks.

"Exactly." Zayn's expression softens again. "Very observant. One last thing though."

Harry bites his lip. "Okay?"

"By taking on the responsibility of this, you are taking the responsibility to be the professional in the situation. Keeping Louis from hurting himself further. Keeping others from touching him or trying to intervene. Most importantly, staying very calm and paying very close attention to what you're doing. If you end up taking him to the E.R., you will have to tell them exactly what you've given to him and know with 100 percent assurance that it's correct." Zayn sets a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Stay calm and separate yourself emotionally from the situation. Do you understand?"

"Yes. I'll stay calm and I will pay complete attention and emotionally detach myself from the situation." Harry confirms.

Zayn gives him a kiss to the cheek. "Very good. Now, back in the fridge with the medicine, and I've been keeping the used syringes in the plastic bin over there." Zayn points to a bucket on the countertop.

Louis feels like maybe they should backpedal a bit. He maybe didn't realize the full extent of what this all meant. Now that Zayn's put everything in medical and life-or-death terms, it makes it feel like the stakes are much higher.

"Well you've got me proper freaked, I can't imagine Harry's feeling too confident either." Louis eyes Harry to check for any reaction of nervousness.

Harry emphatically shakes his head. "No, I can do it. I feel confident."

Zayn smiles at them both. "See? He's confident, there's nothing to be worried about. I wouldn't leave you to the hands of someone else if I didn't believe they could competently take my place. I trust Haz, and I believe that he knows himself enough to either accept or decline the responsibility."

And well, when Zayn puts it in terms of trust and competency, he knows he can trust Harry. He thinks about if the situation were reversed and he had to trust Harry to take care of Zayn or the platypodes with something. Which, Harry's running the Platitat and all Louis' babies now anyway, so the trust really speaks for itself.

Harry looks to Louis. "Do you trust that I can do it?"

Louis kisses his nose. "100 percent without a doubt."

Zayn claps his hands together. "Well, now that that's all settled, what is on the agenda for tonight?"

Harry looks from Louis then to Zayn. "Have you guys already smoked today?"

Zayn and Louis snort.

Harry rolls his eyes. "I mean are you down for another blunt?"

"Obviously." Zayn and Louis reply at the same time, then exchange a smile.

"Do you guys have some chips though? The munchies really got to me last time." Harry walks around to sift through some cupboards.

"Got some just for you last time we went to the market." Zayn points to the cabinet with the chips. "Spinach and kale salted veggie for the weirdo."

"Hey! You guys eat just as, or more weird than I do. But thank you so much." Harry retrieves the bag to open it and pop one in his mouth. "Mmmm."

Louis snatches a chip and lets the taste seep into his tongue. "Definitely Haz worthy. Very shit otherwise."

Harry protectively cradles the bag to his chest. "More for me then."

They all head to the sofa on the front porch with just enough room for the three of them. Harry sits cross legged and sandwiched with Zayn and Louis on either side.

"Who wants to do the honors?" Zayn fishes the items out of his jacket.

"May I try this time?" Harry speaks up.

Louis and Zayn exchange a glance.

"I've seen you both do it a dozen or more times. I'll go slow and listen really well." Harry tries.

Louis nods. "Very well. What's the first thing you do then?"

"Slit the cigar wrapping in as straight of a line possible and dust out the tobacco." Harry states.

Zayn hands him the cigar. "Very good. Show us what you've got."

Harry confidently does the first step and damn, Louis forgets how quickly Harry picks things up. Not only is he extremely precise, but he is also as quick as Zayn so far.

"Next, pull the buds from the stem so it doesn't puncture the wrapping. Take extra caution to get all the hash in because it's the strongest, but loosest part." Harry recites.

Zayn and Louis both laugh.

"Well I'm going to go ahead at sit back. Looks like you've got a hang of things." Zayn outstretches his arms across the back of the couch.

Harry smiles triumphantly and starts on the next step. This seems to be a little bit more difficult for him to do, as his fingers are probably twice the size of Louis or Zayn's; but he manages to roll them off the stem just fine.

Louis absolutely loves it, and very much underestimated how much he would enjoy watching Harry make a blunt.

Harry manages to get the leaves all arranged and packed in the cigar wrapping. "Next, lick it to seal it, then flame to dry it. Wrappers rights, then pass to the left."

Louis nudges Harry's shoulder. "So you're just wrapping to get the first hits then?"

"You know it." And Harry, the little brat, winks at Louis.

Louis scrunches his nose at Harry, then sits back and watches as Harry's tongue pokes out to lick along the edge of the wrapping.

Louis has to admit, Harry made a very decent blunt. Not too full, not too empty. Evenly dispersed. "I'm rather impressed."

"Damn well should be. He's as good as me." Zayn pulls out his lighter to dry out the seal, then heat up the tip once Harry pokes it into his mouth.

Harry's gotten a suitable amount of smoking under his belt by this point, and it's honestly a guilty pleasure of Louis' to watch Harry smoke anymore. To watch something he sort of had a hand in creating. Something that's only between him and Harry (and well, Zayn too, but that's okay).

Harry exhales with finesse and Louis can't help but smile. The blunt is passed to Zayn. They all are mutually feeling an unhurried smoking session, and that's exactly how the evening goes.

The blunt makes it around them all twice more before Louis has it in his hand again. "Ready for your next tutorial?"

Harry cocks his head and Zayn smirks.

"Open your mouth like you're going to kiss me." Louis instructs.

Harry blushes and Louis wants to skip the shot gunning and just kiss his face for the next hour or so. But he's also extremely excited to share this new thing with Harry too.

Harry's cheeks stay a light pink and his mouth parts open ever so slightly. Louis suppresses the light rush of adrenaline and focuses on inhaling smoke.

Harry's cheeks go more crimson when Louis leans in closer. Louis matches his lips against Harry's plush ones and slowly exhales into Harry's mouth.

Harry closes his eyes in concentration to inhale succinctly with Louis' breath. Louis almost feels higher than when the drug was in his lungs.

Harry holds it in for several seconds before letting it out around the sides of Louis' lips. They hesitate, lips hardly an inch away from each other, and revel in the proximity and the simple pleasure of it.

"Another?" Louis barely whispers out.

"Yeah." Harry says against his lips.

Louis only barely turns his head to the side to take another drag and connects his lips more firmly to Harry's this time. It's a hot pleasure that rushes through his veins again, and he definitely thinks it's science that shot gunning gives a better high.

A slow smile creeps onto Harry's face as the smoke leaks out. "Damn."

Louis' expression lifts to mirror Harry's. "Damn is definitely correct." He gives Harry a soft kiss to the side of his lips.

"Can I try it?" Harry asks.

"Sure." Louis flicks his eyes to Zayn. "But it's Zayn's turn."

Louis can see Harry's breath hitch in the back of his throat.

"Is that..." Harry's glazed eyes search Louis', "...okay?"

Zayn snickers from beside Harry. "Lou and I do it all the time."

A lazy smile makes its way across Louis' face as he passes Harry the blunt.

Harry watches Louis as he breathes in the smoke, then turns to Zayn. Zayn patiently waits with a small smirk until Harry coughs out his current lung full.

"Sorry." Harry rasps out. "Wasn't ready." He coughs lightly again.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Louis shrugs off.

Part of him is being completely honest because he would never pressure Harry into doing something he didn't feel comfortable doing. Then the other part of him knows that if Harry is offered the option of turning something down, he, more times than not, will accept the offer.

He only lets himself feel a little bad.

"No I want to." Harry's voice is still a little shot from the incident and he clears his throat. "Just..."

Harry doesn't finish his sentence. He instead takes in a quick puff of smoke in and turns to Zayn again. He leans in and hesitates just before he gets to Zayn's lips. It seems he deems that close enough, and blows the smoke directly into Zayn's mouth without actually touching his lips.

Zayn smiles as he breathes in the smoke, then releases it back onto Harry's face. Harry makes no move to do anything passed just staring at Zayn wide-eyed with slightly parted lips. Zayn takes the initiative and threads a hand through Harry's curls to pull him in the rest of the way.

When their lips meet, it ignites a completely raw arousal in Louis. Watching their eyes flutter shut and Harry become pliant beneath Zayn; watching as Harry and Zayn reattach at different angles and swallow each other's saliva; watching as they lean deeper into each other.

Louis doesn't realize the strain in his groin until he feels his hand pressing down against it. A breathy moan comes out at his unexpected touch, and it seems to snap Harry out of the Zayn trance he had been drinking in.

Zayn and Harry both look at Louis.

Louis pulls his hand from his crotch. "God, sorry mates. Bit worked up. Pass the smoke along then."

Harry looks completely dazed and Zayn looks extremely hungry. Harry however, is the one to reach for his bag of chips, and Zayn is the one to fix his gaze on Louis and Harry.

Louis snatches the blunt from Harry and takes in as much as he can. Smoking a blunt with pure weed doesn't hit Louis quite where he likes it since he normally has always stuck to his 50/50; but he'll be damned before Harry starts smoking more tobacco more than is already in the cigar wrappings. Louis may facilitate a little bit of recklessness, but he will _not_ be one to promote addictive behaviors.

Harry ends up only taking several more hits, seemingly hit the high that he wants. Louis thinks Harry seems to have a good sense for what he's able to handle when it comes to smoking, and he really respects the hell out of him for it.

Louis and Zayn finish off the blunt, and Louis kicks his legs up across Harry and Zayn's lap. Harry munches happily on his chips and Louis pulls out a cigarette for himself and Zayn. They both blow their smoke away from Harry, but can't help look back at him after each drag.

Louis thinks maybe Harry is a little bit addictive in his own way; and he thinks Zayn probably would agree with him.

"Thank you again for the chips. They're amazing." Harry smiles at Zayn.

Zayn looks a little like he wants to eat Harry's face, and Louis really doesn't blame him one bit. "Anytime."

Harry turns to Louis. "D'you want some more? I saved some for you." He holds the bag out for Louis with green fingertips.

Harry's eyes have a light pink hue emulating from them to where they're not quite bloodshot, but definitely look as if he's maybe missed a night of sleep. Some of the color has drained from his cheeks, making his lips look obscenely pink. There's a little bit of chip dust scattered along the perimeter of said lips, and Louis really doesn't care what the chips taste like at the moment, because he'd love to lick the remains off Harry's face.

Louis never quite gets around to answering because Zayn stands up. "I'll leave you two at it then. I'll be at Lucas'."

Zayn leaves a soft kiss against Louis' lips. "Love you and be safe."

Harry smiles contentedly, waiting for his kiss.

Zayn leans in to peck Harry's lips and leaves without another word.

Louis lays back on the arm of the sofa and closes his eyes. He listens to the silence of their cul-de-sac mixed with Harry- who has gone back to munching on his cardboard chips.

Louis dumps the remains of his cigarette in the ashtray behind him and sits up. Harry eyes him curiously.

"Help me up then." Louis motions for Harry to get up.

Harry gets up, but picks Louis bridal-style up in the process. "Where to?"

"Bedroom." Louis says.

Judging by the way Harry is looking at him, Harry would have been disappointed with any answer other than Louis' given one. And it's almost too easy, the way Louis feels in Harry's arms; the way Harry carries him into the bedroom like there isn't a problem in the world; and the way they undress as if they'd been doing for years.

Louis finally untangles his underpants from his ankles and the comforter when Harry joins him, naked as well. It's the first time they've seen each other stark naked, and it's completely comfortable. The sunset glimmers through the window providing the perfect lighting against Harry's body.

"You have a crying Salix babylonica on your back." Harry observes. "A weeping Weeping Willow."

"I do." Louis confirms.

Louis leads Harry down on the bed with a gentle push against his torso. Louis doesn't lay on top of him. Instead, he straddles Harry and sits on his thighs.

He looks away from Harry's chip dusted lips to the strong jawline that connects to his neck. Louis leans forward to place kisses up and down the center column of Harry's neck. Then from the back of his ear down to the crook where his neck meets his shoulders. "You have the sexiest neck I've ever seen." He whispers against the skin.

Louis sits back up to admire Harry again. Harry looks slightly more alert and watches Louis closely. Louis lets his fingers glide across every ridge, raise, and divot in Harry's collarbones. Then it's to the way his muscle meets his shoulder bone creating a structured, but soft curved line. Louis kisses the area just below Harry's collarbones. "I am absolutely in love with your décolletage."

Louis hears Harry breathe a little unevenly at that. He trails kisses down to Harry's nipples and lets his tongue slowly lap at the skin. He takes Harry between his teeth and lightly grazes against the hardened bud. When he switches to the other one, he lets his other hand lazily play with the wet, abandoned one. "Your nipples are perfect." Louis blows cold air against the saliva left behind and watches as the skin becomes pert again. Louis gives it another lick before sitting up again.

Harry looks at Louis with eyes that are dilated with more than just THC. Louis paws his hands down the center of Harry's torso and rubs at the watercolor fish tattoo. "Why did you get this fish?"

"Thought it was pretty." Harry's mouth seems to be permanently gapped open ever so slightly.

Louis leans in to kiss the ink. "You're so pretty." He noses around the outside of the tail. "Your fish is pretty, but you're so much prettier."

Louis rubs his hands down the side of Harry's body, and stops when he gets to his hipbones. He sits back up to watch his thumbs dig into the kelp tattooed there. "Why kelp?"

"Symbolic... sexy... strong..." Harry's eyes flutter shut.

Louis grips in a little harder with his thumbs. "Your hips." He nips at one of the bones jutting out. "Are. _Sin_ ful." Louis sucks a hard hickey right at the tip of the kelp stem, then continues the action along the stem until there's a purple line down the middle of his left hip.

Harry is completely relaxed into the bed and gives out small whines of approval when Louis repeats the same procedure over top of the right kelp. Once Harry is marked with two diagonal purple streaks, Louis leans up to kiss Harry softly.

They kiss, and Louis lets his hand wander back down Harry's neck, passing the fish, and down below the kelp. He takes Harry's hardness into his hands and squeezes ever so lightly, just to get used to the sensation. Harry licks into his mouth with a breathy noise, encouraging Louis to continue.

Louis rubs up and down Harry's shaft a few times before replacing his hand with his mouth. Harry whines out again, and Louis keeps his mouth there only long enough to properly lubricate Harry. He kisses Harry again and works his hand faster this time, wanting to watch Harry's body react in bliss beneath him.

"Louis... Louis... More please." Harry's mouth gapes open.

Louis sucks into the side of Harry's neck and tugs a little harder with his hand. This gets Harry properly worked up and more vocal with his breath. Louis sucks three more identical marks in a cluster next to the first hickey, and Harry's hands are white-knuckling against his navy blue duvet.

Louis bites down into the red and purple skin on Harry's neck and Harry's whole body tenses up before releasing his orgasm all over his fish tattoo. Louis lets off with his teeth and presses soft lips to the mark he made on Harry.

All of Harry's muscles relax and his eyes sluggishly open to inspect Louis. "How are your knees?"

Louis cocks his head ever so slightly.

Harry sits up and gently maneuvers Louis down onto the bed and lays at his side. He leans in to kiss Louis' nose as his hand sweeps along the curves of his sides. "Can I touch you the same way?"

Louis laughs out breathily. "Of course."

Harry's hand drops down between Louis' legs and Louis completely melts at Harry's touch. It's so very intimate. Soft, but full of feeling. Harry kisses Louis as his familiarizes himself better with how to touch him.

The sensation is increased more than what Louis remembers, and he's not sure if it's the time lapse since his last sexual endeavors or the platypus venom. But it's definitely heightened.

Louis lets his head loll back a little bit. "Little slower Haz. Sorry. 'M super sensitive."

"Sorry." Harry whispers against his lips.

The speed of Harry's hands slow down and all the color starts to fade into white behind Louis' eyelids. "Yeah. Just like that." Harry keeps his pace steady and Louis feels the whiteness spreading throughout his body. "God yes, Harry-"

Louis lifts further up into Harry's hand and comes across his chest. Harry immediately releases him and sits attentively at Louis' side.

Louis' whole body is buzzing and his ears are ringing. His left leg feels completely numb and he can't feel his face.

"Lou? You okay?" Harry asks.

Louis nods before rolling to his side and falling asleep.

~~~

 

 


	24. Chapter 23

A/N: Pics are inspiration for their tattoos. The weeping willow is on Louis' back, fish on Harry's ribcage under his heart/pectoral, matching kelp on either sex line :)

Enjoy xx

~~~

"Louis?" 

There's a soft hand stroking his forehead and Louis opens his eyes to the morning sun.  It smells like heaven.

Louis sits up.  "What time is it?"

Harry hands him a glass of grapefruit juice.  "Nine in the morning."

Louis squints his eyes.  "I slept through the whole night?"

"Yeah.  Zayn told me to just let you sleep.  I made you breakfast if you're ready."  Harry nods towards the kitchen.

Louis lifts the drink up for a sip, then retracts his mouth at tasting the bitter grapefruit juice first thing in the morning.  "You talked to Zayn?  Did he come back?  I thought he was staying at his parents."

"No, I just called him."  Harry bites at his lower lip.

"What did you say exactly?"  Louis sets the juice on the nightstand and stretches out in the bed.

Harry scratches his head.  "I just said that you physically exerted yourself, and I couldn't tell if you fell asleep or passed out.  So Zayn just had me check your vitals over the phone and said to put a pillow between your legs so you don't accidentally hurt yourself, and let you sleep." 

Ah.  That's why there is a pillow touching his feet.  Makes sense now.  "So in other words he knows we got off last night?"

"Er.  Yeah."  Harry blushes.

"Lovely."  Louis laughs.  "Now, I believe I was promised breakfast?"

"Yeah."  Harry eyes Louis' naked body.  "Did you want put on some sweats first?"

Louis looks down at his nakedness.  "Probably."  He extricates himself from his bed and decides on showering after breakfast.

Harry sits at the edge of Louis' bed.  "You never told me you had a tattoo."

Louis digs through a drawer trying to find a soft pair of sweatpants.  "It never really came up."

"What does it mean?"  Harry asks.

Louis pulls on sweatpants and then sits turning his back to Harry to show it to him.  "It's a dead weeping willow.  It like, represents Mother Earth.  The tears are Mother Earth crying because of how much destruction and pollution we've caused to her.  The roots don't have anywhere to ground into either."

Harry traces a hand over the hundreds of lines on Louis' back.  "That's really...  I mean I know how much you care about animals and their habitat and stuff, but this is just..."

Louis turns around to face him.  Harry looks at Louis like he's been able to touch something sacred.

"Reduce, reuse, and recycle."  Louis quotes the end of their platypus presentation speech with a cheeky grin.

Harry still looks at Louis with a little more reverence than Louis thinks is necessary.  "Can I kiss you?"

"I have morning breath."  Louis scrunches his nose.

Harry leans in anyway.  "I don't."

Louis chuckles soundlessly into the kiss.  It's a very sweet kiss that Louis feels he's not necessarily deserving of.

Harry pulls back with another kiss to Louis' nose, and then leads him to the kitchen.

Louis enjoys a positively delicious jalapeno omelet for breakfast that was most satisfying and tremendously spicy.  Harry and Louis do the dishes together, and after the kitchen is clean, Harry accompanies Louis outside while he smokes his morning cigarettes.  Then Louis showers while Harry stands on the other side of the shower curtain.  Harry takes his turn showering while Louis gets dressed, and after it's all said and done, they find themselves staring at each other on the living room couch.

"So what do you normally do with Zayn all day?"  Harry asks. 

"Smoke.  Text you.  Grocery shop.  Bug you some more.  Chess.  Find funny memes to send to you.  Read and cook.  Watch Netflix.  More texting.  Sometimes go for a walk if it's not too cold."  Louis shrugs.

"So you're saying you're completely bored of all listed items?"  Harry pulls out his phone to check something on the web browser.

"Basically.  Why?  Did you have something in mind for today?"  Louis is curious now; and extremely excited.  He kind of thought he and Harry would be sitting around all day doing the same thing he and Zayn normally do-which would be fine- but it looks like Harry has a plan, and Louis is ready for some variety.

"Weeeeeeell..."  Harry drawls.  "How would you feel about a field trip?"

"Hell yes!  Where to?"  Louis stands up, steadying himself on the arm of the couch.

"Hey careful.  Let me get your crutches."  Harry wraps an arm around Louis' waist.

"I'm fine really.  It's been three weeks and some odd days.  I've been walking fine on it all morning."  Louis unwraps himself from Harry's hold and entwines a hand with his.  "How about you hold my hand instead?"

This seems to satiate Harry.  "Okay, but swear you'll tell me if you start getting sore or in too much pain?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."  Louis makes an X across his heart.

"Please don't.  It would make me most unhappy."  Harry noses at Louis' chest where he drew the X.

"You are adorable."  Louis runs his fingers through his favorite curls of all time that belong to Harry.  "Where are you taking me then Mr. Styles?"

"Can it be a surprise?"  Harry leads Louis through the kitchen to grab his jacket, keys, and sunglasses.

"Sure."  Louis supposes he can let Harry take him on an unplanned adventure.

Harry gets shoes on himself as Louis does the same.  "Ready?" 

"Yep!  We can take my car if you want.  No offense, but your car doesn't look like the heating can be trusted."  Louis grabs his keys off the hook.

"Fine, fine."  Harry huffs.

Louis tosses the keys to Harry.  "I feel like we're missing something."

"Fuck!  The Lidocaine."  Harry runs to the fridge for the medicine and pockets it along with a couple of syringes.  "Thank you for remembering.  Shit, I can't believe I would've forgotten."

"It's fine Haz.  I almost didn't remember.  We'll probably be fine honestly.  As long as you scare off ankle-biters from potentially ramming things into my shin, I should be fine."  Louis holds the door open for Harry.

"No, fuck, I feel terrible.  I have one responsibility and I already almost fucked it up."  Harry stalks passed him and into the driver's seat of Louis' Outback. 

Louis makes his way into the passenger seat and turns to Harry.  "Hey, look at me."  He waits until Harry does as instructed.  "I'm fine Harry.  No harm, no foul, no damage done.  Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

Harry chews on the inside of his cheek before sighing.  "Kay." 

Louis leans in to give Harry a quick peck on the cheek.  "Now, have you heard the new Daft Punk album?"

Harry flares his nostrils.  "Who?"

"Daft Punk.  You've never heard of them?"  Louis opens the center console to flip through his CD case.

"I think Gemma listened to them back when I was younger..."  Harry sticks the key in the ignition to start the car.  "Can't say I would recognize their music if I heard it though."

"Today is your lucky day then.  Fucking brilliant album."  Louis shoves [Random Access Memories](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jclCjcTzu4g) into his stereo and fiddles with the settings until they're how he wants it.

The opening plays and Harry's face brights up.  "I like it already."  He leans over to kiss Louis. 

"Good."  Louis pulls away to give him two quick pecks in succession.  "Now take me on a trip before I grow old and die in the carport of my flat."

Harry giggles and pulls sunglasses down over his eyes.  They drive for about 20 minutes, which gives them time to get through a good amount of the album, and then Harry pulls into the parking lot of a strip mall.

There is a restaurant, massage parlor, and pet store.  He looks over at Harry.  "We at the right place?"

"Yep!"  Harry chirps.  "Let me get your door, hang on."

Louis waits until Harry has rounded the car and then lets Harry help him out.  "So out of the three I really can't figure out which shop you're going to take me into." 

"The pet shoppe of course!  My parents used to take me here all the time when I was younger.  They have- well... let's just wait until we get inside."  Harry skips a little with each step and Louis finds it completely adorable.

They walk through the glass doors and it smells like reptiles.  Harry leaves Louis' side and searches the floors and aisles.  He skids to a halt when he finds what he was looking for.

Harry makes a grand gesture with both of his arms.  "Behold!  Rufus!"

Louis walks up to Harry in amusement and then jumps back into Harry's arms when he sees the three meter iguana crawling towards him.  "Oh my God!  It's enormous!"

Harry laughs and hugs Louis from behind.  "Isn't he the best?  I always used to call him Lizalfos... But his name is actually Rufus."

"Lizalfos like the lizards from Zelda?"  Louis cranes his neck to the side to look at Harry.

Harry scoots his chin further up Louis' shoulder.  "Exactly like the lizards from Zelda."

"Lizalfos.  Louis repeats.  He scrunches his nose at Harry and looks back at Lizalfos.  "So he won't hurt us?"

Harry shakes his head, and curls assault Louis' cheek.  "No.  I used to want to ride him when I was little."

"Jesus, how old is he?"  Louis leans down to inspect the approaching reptile.

"I think he's like 30 or sommat now.  Not sure though."  Harry joins Louis on the floor.

"Wow.  Older than me, huh buddy?"  Louis cocks his head at the bright yellow eyes that are staring back at him.

"They used to have a giant sea turtle too.  His name was Boris.  But he's since died from cancer.  Gem and I were really sad to hear of his passing."  Harry says.

"You guys came here a lot?"  Louis grabs the shelf for support to stand back up.

Harry wraps an arm around his waist anyway.  "Yes.  My mum always brought us to pet stores for our field trips.  Gem and I have always been really into animals.  She's more into birds though; has herself a fancy cage of finches."

"And what do you have?  A three meter iguana in your backyard?"  Louis muses.

Harry snorts.  "I wish.  My mom threatened to stop bringing us here because I kept begging her to buy Lizalfos, and she wouldn't let me.  I have a saltwater aquarium though...  I _love_ fish."  And Louis swears he sees Harry's pupils morph into the shape of hearts, and can see little bubble stars floating above his head.

"Birds for your sister and fish for you.  How cute."  Louis smiles.

"What about you?  Ever have any pets?"  Harry takes Louis by the hand and they stroll through the aisles.

"No.  Well- Zayn had a dog if that counts; but it died.  When I moved out with Zayn, we bought a beta fish, but it died like, three days later.  Other than that, I've always had the platypodes, so I haven't really been able to justify getting a personal pet."  Louis picks up Squidward's Easter Island Head for a fish tank and inspects it with a chuckle before setting it back on the shelf.

"But you've always wanted one?"  Harry puts the Easter Island Head over the top of Gary the Snail to hide it.

"A pet that is hardy, low maintenance, and doesn't stink?  Yeah, if it existed, I would maybe consider getting it."  Louis thinks back to when he was a child and always begged his parents for a puppy.  They never would allow one because of how destructive they are.  Then when he lived with Zayn's family, he never really felt that he had the right to ask for one.  As an adult, he realized the responsibility and expenses behind having a pet, and took what solace he could in having five platypodes that were essentially his.

"Oh, oh, oh!  I know the perfect pet, come here!"  Harry drags Louis around a corner and down the aisle.  "A tarantula!"  Harry is bouncing up and down now.  "You're not scared of them, they're low maintenance, they're hardy, and they really don't smell as long as you keep fresh water for them and clean their aquarium once a month.  It's perfect!"

Louis laughs, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.  "I really don't need a pet.  It's a fantastic idea though."

"Why not?"  Harry challenges.

"Because... I don't need one?"  Louis didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but it did anyway.  "I have five platypodes, a roommate, and a Harry.  Why would I need a pet?"

"To fulfill your childhood dream, duh."  Harry rolls his eyes.  "You like tarantulas right?"

Louis shrugs, feeling like he's running out of excuses.  "I mean, yeah-"

"Then get one!"  Harry squeaks. 

"Look, Haz- it's a great idea.  I just..." Louis runs a hand through his hair, "if I'm being perfectly honest, it's not really in my budget to purchase a pet right now..."

And _oh_ , that grabs Harry's attention. 

"What do you mean?" 

Louis huffs, frustrated that Harry is making him spell out what it's like to live in the middle class.  "I mean, I'm still paying off my flat, I _just_ got done paying off my car.  I'm waiting on an exorbitant hospital bill from the platypus attack.  I have an expensive diet and high-priced habits.  My life just kind of fits perfectly within my salary range, and anything even a little extra isn't something I want to use my retirement funds on."

"It's just a pet though."  Harry cocks his head to the side.

 _Yes.  And we're not all rich like you._ Louis bites back from saying anything.

"Can I buy it for you?"  Harry asks.

"Absolutely not."  Louis says.

"Give me three good reasons."  Harry lifts his eyebrows.

"Reason one, we don't all get through life on free rides from other people.  Reason two, I am not a freeloader.  Reason three, I don't need a pet."  Louis lists off easily.

Harry holds up his fingers to count on.  "One, you didn't get here on a free ride since we drove your car.  Two, letting me buy you one thing doesn't make you a freeloader _especially_ after how much Mary and food I've bummed off you and Z.  Three, you also don't need a toaster, but they're really nice to have and a lot of people want them.  Your arguments are invalid here Louis Tomlinson." 

Louis lifts a hand to stroke at his facial hair, mostly to try and hide the smile playing at his lips.  "You really hate losing debates, don't you?"

"Some people call me stubborn, others call me spoiled; but I normally get what I want by the end of a conversation."  Harry makes it sound completely endearing.  Which is surprising since everything he said was rather audacious; but Louis only wants to snuggle Harry because of it.

"Getting someone else a pet is kind of a permanent move, don't you think?  I mean... it will live on as a reminder of said buyer for the rest of it's years on earth."  Louis looks pointedly at the female tarantula's life span of 15-20 years.

Harry squeezes Louis' hand.  "I'm not scared to make permanent decisions with you Lou." 

And well, Louis is in the middle of a pet store and is speechless.

"Unless you don't want one.  I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do."  Harry gives Louis a coy smile.

"You absolute shit head!"  Louis play smacks Harry's ribcage and Harry bursts out laughing, body curling in on himself.

"Did it work?"  Harry straightens himself up again.

"God, now I want to say no just out of principle!"  Louis shakes his head at the ceiling. 

"No, no, no!  Say yes.  You know you want to!"  Harry grabs Louis in for a close hug.  "Please let me do this for you?"  Harry kisses up and down Louis' neck.

"Shit damn, we're in a family friendly environment, simmer down."  Louis pulls away to straighten out his clothes and maybe air himself off just a little bit.  Harry looks at him eagerly. 

"Fine.  You can buy me a tarantula."  Louis tries to sound blase, but in all honesty... he's completely psyched.

Harry's vocal chords strain back a high pitched sound of exhilaration when he kisses Louis feverishly.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

It mostly comes out as a series of staccatoed vibrations against Louis' lips, but Louis understands what Harry was trying to say.  What he doesn't understand, is how Harry is acting like he's about to take home Lizalfos.

There's a stupid feeling that he can't kick from his gut now that can't be explained much better than sheer giddiness.  It's more than likely just from fulfillment of a childhood dream; but Louis can't negate the fact that he's completely stoked to be sharing the experience with Harry too.

"Let's keep it PG for the children, shall we?"  Louis unwillingly parts from Harry's lips.  "And find a tarantula specialist?  So I know what I'm getting myself into?" 

Harry's forehead furrows together.  "Chilean Rose Hair's are like the easiest tarantula ever.  Not particularly poisonous, eats like three to four times a week.  We can get a terrarium with running, filtered water so you won't have to worry about changing it each day.  They're from the Americas."

"Right.  I forget I'm talking to a walking encyclopedia."  Louis kisses Harry's nose.  "Male or female then?"

"Well, do you want a short term, or long term companion?"  Harry asks like he's definitely asking about more than just a tarantula.

"Long term.  I'm surprised you even have to ask."  Louis says nonchalantly.

Harry gives him a mocking smile.  "Just want to make sure you're not going to get bored and try shoving another tarantula in with it."

Louis slits his eyes.  "A little bit of communal living never hurt anyone.  Tarantulas have to mate somehow, yes?"

"So you're going to get two tarantulas and keep them for sex?"  Harry clarifies.

"No.  I'm going to get one tarantula as my companion.  The other tarantula is just there for temporary coitus benefits.  He will be kicked out of the terrarium as soon as my companion relationship is secured with the other."  Louis explains diplomatically.

"So they're both being used selfishly?  One for your companionship, and the other for security and sex?"  Harry asks.

"Both tarantulas knew what they were getting into coming home with me.  It's not news to either party, and one or both are at full liberty to return to the pet store any time they feel unfairly treated."  Louis shrugs.  "Just know that the coitus tarantula is searching for a companion of his own, and my companion tarantula is strictly off limits to him.  So he'll be out of the terrarium in the near future."

"Fair enough."  Harry's face breaks out into an ear-splitting grin.  "One female companion tarantula for you then."

Louis leans towards the informational sign.  "Oh, wait.  It says _15-20 years_.  I thought it said _1-5 years_."  Louis stages a sharp intake of breath.  "I dunno Haz, maybe I should just stick with a coitus tarantula instead.  I'm getting cold feet."  Louis purses his lips and taps a finger against his chin.

"Shut up wanker."  Harry pecks Louis on the lips.

"Excuse me, sirs?  Can I help you?"  A man- Andy according to his nametag- steps towards them.

Louis clears his throat.  "Yes actually.  I'd like to purchase a female Chilean Rose Hair please."

"Okay great.  Do you have any experience handling poisonous animals?"  Andy asks.

Louis and Harry both snort.

Andy gives them a quizzical look, so Louis answers him properly.  "Yes.  Lots of experience."

"Okay great.  Any tarantulas perhaps?"  Andy unlocks the shelf that holds two tarantula terrariums.

"No tarantulas unless I'm getting them out of my storage closets.  Mainly platypod- er- platypuses."  Louis exchanges a pained look with Harry at having to use the colloquial term for the monotreme.

"Ah.  So much more high risk than a Rose Hair.  I s'ppose I don't need to give you the lecture then.  Would you like to hold our female here?"  Andy reaches his hand in to scoop up the tarantula.

"Yeah definitely.  Have to make sure we bond properly and whatnot."  Louis reaches a hand out.

Harry bats his hand back down to his side.  "Wait Lou, are you sure you should risk it right now?  In your current... state?"  Harry looks down to Louis' shin and back up at his face.

"I'll be fine.  She's not in a bad mood or anything, is she?"  Louis asks Andy.

"No.  She's rather docile.  The male is much more aggressive though.  If they ever get too close to each other, he's always looking to start a fight unfortunately."  Andy motions to the other tarantula climbing the wall of it's terrarium.

"Excellent.  See Haz?  No risk."  Louis holds his hand out again and the tarantula slowly walks up Louis' arm.  The touch is so feather light that it tickles to the point of itching, but he knows it's just from his sensitivity.  "She's wonderful.  I love her already."

"Great!  She really seems to have taken a liking to you.  Do you have a name picked out already?"  Andy asks.

Louis and Harry look at each other and answer at the same time.  "Queen Gohma."

Andy quirks an eyebrow as they both laugh.  "Alright then.  Let me run and grab a box for Queen Gohma then.  I'll be right back."

"May I try holding her?"  Harry asks.

"Of course.  She's like, half yours basically.  I'll give you visitation rights if you promise to bring her crickets every weekend."  Louis outstretches his arm for Harry to get a better angle.  "I thought you were scared though."

Harry's eyes flick up to meet Louis'.  "We've all got to face our fears sometime."

Gohma transfers easily onto Harry's much larger hand, and Louis cups underneath Harry's hands to feel like he's holding her too. 

It takes a moment for the prickling to set in, and Louis is about to ask Harry about the hairs they leave behind when he feels another set of furry legs charging down his arm towards Harry's hand. 

Louis looks to the side of him and notices the top of both terrariums are open, and both are vacant.  It takes a half a second to realize what's happening, and then another half second to jerk his hands away from Harry and his new pet because he doesn't want to put either of them in a stressful situation.  The latter half of the second consists of him trying to get himself as close to the floor as possible to try and de-escalate the male tarantula's temper.

By the time he has his arm outstretched and laid flush with the floor, the male tarantula looks significantly more angry and the prickling against his skin is flaring up even more.  That's when the tarantula decides that biting Louis is the best course of action, and that's when Louis vomits from the pain.

This of course, takes place over the span of a few seconds, and Harry stands there with Louis' new pet crawling up his arm, and Louis on the floor in pain from Gohma's aggressive counterpart attacking Louis' arm.

"Fuck!  Why now?  Why with a tarantula on my arm?"  Harry yells at the male tarantula that's running away on the floor while he turns Louis onto his side.

Andy comes rushing over at the cacophony and panics at the scene in front of him.  "Oh my God!  Is he allergic?  Why is he vomiting?  What happened?"

"Stay calm, I just need to- just... stay calm.  He's fine."  Harry tries to soothe Andy with words completely contradictory to what Louis' reaction is portraying.  "I have medicine.  Just stand back please, and keep people away." 

Harry kneels down slowly so as to not alert the spider taking residence beneath his curls.  He steadies Louis onto his side and pulls the Lidocaine from his pocket and uncaps the syringe.  Following the steps that Zayn taught him, he pulls up Louis' pant leg and administers the medicine to a writhing Louis on the floor. 

Once the medicine is issued, Harry pockets the items and pulls out his phone to call an ambulance just in case.  He turns to Andy, keeping his voice steady but commanding.  "Andy?"

Andy's eyes look twice their normal size.  "What?"

"Please correct me if I'm wrong, but Rose Hair venom is not lethal, no?"  Harry asks, ignoring Louis' moans of pain.

Andy waves his hands in front of him.  "N-no.  Not lethal.  But it shouldn't be _that_ painful-"

Harry holds his hands up to silence Andy.  "Okay, I know, I know.  He's just extra sensitive right now.  Please tell me, to a normal person, what would the pain be comparable to?"

Andy's eyes are fixed on Louis' curled up body on the floor.

Harry snaps his fingers.  "Andy!  Pain scale for a normal person getting bitten.  What is it?"

Andy snaps his head back over to Harry.  "Um, I don't know- maybe- well.  Let's see, they say it's like a wasp bite or a bee sting, so maybe a two?  I don't know!"

"Okay good.  He's going to be fine.  Just give him maybe ten minutes, okay?  I'm really sorry about the mess."  Harry shuffles over to bring Louis' head into his lap.  "Lou, I'm here for you.  You're going to be okay."

Louis balls his hands into fists.

Harry checks the time on his phone before dialing Zayn.  He picks up on the second ring.

"Harry?  Everything okay?"  Zayn asks.

"We're at a pet store, Louis got bitten by a tarantula.  They're poisonous, but not lethal.  The pain for a normal person is maybe like a bee sting.  I gave him five milligrams of Lidocaine and he isn't vomiting anymore.  Should I take him to the E.R.?  Will the venoms interact negatively with each other?"  Harry gets out with a steady voice.

"If the pain level is equivalent to a bee sting, then that means there really isn't much venom that got dumped into his system.  Does he look like he's going into shock?"  Zayn asks.

"I mean, nothing's really changed- how would I know?"  Harry bites his lip.

"Completely pale, shallow breathing, cold skin-" Zayn rattles off.

Harry puts a hand to Louis' forehead.  "I-I dunno Zayn.  He's all those things, how can I tell the difference?  What if he passes out?"

"You have to make the judgement call Harry- I'm not there.  If you call an ambulance, do it quickly because if he goes into shock for too long before it gets there, it could be really dangerous."  Zayn pauses.  "Harry?  Are you staying calm?  Talk to me."

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit."  Harry's breathing has increased and he's muttering under his breath.  There's a crowd around the scene. 

"Harry!  More please!  Please, it-" Louis gasps.  "God, it hurts!"

A lady with two kids speaks up.  "What are you doing?  He's in pain!  I'm calling an ambulance!"

Harry stands up to face her.  " _Don't_ call an ambulance.  I have the situation under control-"

"Harry, what's going on?"  Zayn demands through the phone.

"I'm administering another 2.5 milligrams of Lidocaine- just a half dose- and he'll be fine."  Harry announces and sets his phone on the ground.  "Ma'am, please stand back."  Harry points to the woman.

Harry fumbles with the syringe and pushes a half dose into Louis' leg.  Louis yells out at the pain from the needle and Harry stills him from kicking his leg out.  "Louis, can you talk to me?"

Louis nods his head, trying to push the pain away.

"Are you going to throw up again?"  Harry asks.

"N-no."  Louis gets out through gritted teeth.

"I'm going to elevate your legs."  Harry rolls Louis onto his back.  "Andy, I need a chair or box or something."

Andy returns back with a chair and Harry positions Louis' legs onto it.  He picks up the phone again.  "Zayn?"

"Everything okay?"  Zayn asks.

"Fine.  It's good.  He's calming down a bit.  Said he doesn't feel nauseous anymore so I have his legs up to help prevent shock."  Harry moves to the other end of Louis and positions his head in his lap.  "You sure I shouldn't do anything where he got bitten?  His arm is really inflamed."

Zayn sighs.  "No, just leave it.  You can't overload his system unless it's absolutely critical.  Do you feel confident with your decision?" 

"Yes."  Harry runs his fingers through Louis' hair.  "Yeah.  I'll call you if anything changes." 

They say goodbye and Harry ends the call.  Louis can feel the pain finally starting to subside and his breathing calm.  "Haz?"

Harry smiles down at him, Gohma emerging from behind his curls.  "Yes?"

"Why the hell do you hang around me?"  Louis laughs out humorlessly.

"I think that's a better question for you.  I seem to get you into dangerous situations."  Harry traces a finger along the bridge of Louis' nose.

Louis holds Harry's hand in his.  "I'd rather be in pain on the floor of a pet store with you than in pain from being alone at my house." 

"I think that makes you desperate."  Harry jokes.

"Well then I think it makes you a sadist."  Louis smiles.

"I think we're both crazy."  Harry says.

"I think your impetuousness is rubbing off on me."  Louis lets his eyes close.

"Hey, you're not going to faint are you?"  Harry nudges the side of his face.

"No.  Just tired.  Let's purchase our pet and go home, shall we?"  Louis pulls his legs off the chair and Harry helps him up.

"You still want to get one after what just happened?"  Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"Queen Gohma did nothing wrong.  I see no reason to punish her and leave her here with that menace that's always trying to attack her."  Louis says.

An hour later and they leave the pet shop with Queen Gohma, a terrarium, and all other tarantula paraphernalia.  When they get back to Louis' flat, they set everything up on the top of his armoire and let Queen Gohma into her new home.  They cuddle up on Louis' bed and watch her for a while until they fall asleep for a nap.

~~~

Twitter: [@dannieybarra](http://www.twitter.com/dannieybarra)

YouTube: [Dannie Ybarra](https://www.youtube.com/user/mypenguin143)


	25. Chapter 24

#### 

#### A/N: Dedicated to ashleyerin_1996 for nearly making me cry with her comment T-T

#### Also, I will still be updating on Friday's, but no longer at noon due to a change in my work schedule. Thank you as always for reading and commenting! Enjoy xx

 

**-Dannie**

~~~

Louis wakes up to his bedroom door being slammed loudly and a rough shove to the other side of his bed.  He sits up and his eyes fly open to see Zayn pinning Harry down.

"What the _fuck_ were you thinking putting Louis in danger like that you fucking _idiot_?!  He could have fucking _died_ and if you would have taken a half a second to think ahead instead of being a reckless teenager this wouldn't have had to happen!  All I've tried to do my whole life is keep Louis from unnecessary amounts of pain, and you completely _impulsively_ throw him in the front lines of danger like he _hasn't_ already almost died once because of you!"  Zayn grips into Harry's shoulders. 

Harry just whines a little under him.

"Hey!  I'm fine Zayn, get off him!"  Louis pushes at Zayn.

"Shut up Louis!  Harry was responsible for you today and he fucked up so badly that I will fucking murder him!"  Zayn moves a hand to squeeze around Harry's neck.

"Get off of him or I'll fucking hurt myself!"  Louis looks around for the closest dangerous object and decides on grabbing the lighter on his nightstand.

Zayn immediately releases Harry and jumps off the bed.

"Now go take a walk and calm the fuck down."  Louis throws the lighter at Zayn.

Zayn stalks out of Louis' bedroom and slams the door shut behind him.

Harry scrambles to disentangle himself from the comforter and shucks his shirt on.

"Where are you going?"  Louis demands.

"Home.  Zayn is right.  Bye Louis."  Harry picks up his socks and makes for the door.

"Harry, come back here please."  Louis crawls to the edge of the bed and swings his legs over the side.  "Just for a second."

Harry doesn't make a move to sit on the bed, but he doesn't make a move to leave either.

"I need you to calm down so that we can all handle this like adults.  I'm about two seconds away from losing my shit, so I'd really appreciate if you listen to me."  Louis gets up to take hold of Harry's hand.

"Please go sit on my bed."  Louis points to the bed.

Harry's jaw tenses.  "What?" 

"Please go sit on my bed, and I'm going to leave you there until you've calmed down some.  Once you have, you may join me on the living room sofa."  Louis instructs.

"You're putting me on time out?"  Harry scoffs.

"Please don't make me ask twice."  Louis says.

Harry belligerently throws his socks across the room and sits down on the bed.  Louis closes the door behind him and walks around the house to find Zayn.  It doesn't take long, because he finds him on the smoking sofa.

Louis leans against the door jamb.  "Zayn, I'm only going to say this once, but that was absolutely unwarranted.  You can't assault Harry and threaten to kill him regardless of what he's done."

Zayn flares his nostrils.  "Louis you don't understand-"

"You're right!"  Louis interrupts.  "I don't understand why both of you can't act like adults.  I'm at the end of my rope here and I can't babysit both of you.  Feel free to join me on the living room sofa for a family intervention when you feel you can keep your cool."

Louis shuts the front door behind him and goes to the kitchen.  He knows he has a little calming down to do too.  Louis could sit here and play the blame game all day, but he knows much better than that.  In these kinds of situations, it's about the solution, not who's to blame for the 'what-if's'.

He makes a pot of tea for the three of them and brings it over to the coffee table.  By the time he's poured himself a cup, Harry walks out and joins him.

"I'm sorry."  Harry says.

"Do you know why I made you stay?"  Louis pours a cup for Harry.

"So that I wouldn't run from my problems and wouldn't endanger my life by driving while emotionally unstable."  Harry takes the cup from Louis and blows on the hot liquid.

"Very good."  Louis pulls Harry in by the face to give him a kiss to the cheek.  "You may leave after talking with Zayn if you're uncomfortable, but we do need to clear the air on this first."

Harry nods.

Louis blows on his own cup of tea and uses a blanket to hold the glass to prevent burning his fingers.  Once their tea has cooled off, they sip silently on the drink.  After they both make it through their first cup, the front door finally creaks open and Zayn sits on the other side of Harry. 

"I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for overreacting, and I'm sorry for blaming you Harry.  I hope I didn't hurt you."  Zayn frowns.

"'M fine.  I'm really sorry too.  I should've been more thoughtful before exposing Louis to a potentially dangerous situation."  Harry tentatively meets Zayn's eyes.

"You're... It's fine Harry, really.  I'm just... overprotective."  Zayn sighs.

"Good, good.  Now go on and kiss and make up."  Louis dismisses a hand at both of them.  "Or hug.  I don't care which you choose."

Harry blushes and looks down at his lap and Zayn pulls Harry into a tight hug.

"All the love for everyone.  Good times.  Now, Zayn."  Louis claps his hands together.  "What are your plans for tonight?"

"Well.  I was originally going to go hang out with Lucas since he has tonight off.  But then Harry called and I planned on spending the evening with my newly purchased body bag after a nice long chat with him.  But it seems that's out of the cards, so I'll probably just text Lucas and un-cancel our plans."  Zayn taps his fingers against the side of his thigh.

"Great.  See you tomorrow then?  At Niall's barbeque?"  Louis confirms.

"Yep.  We're bringing a Greek salad by the way.  I got the text this morning."  Zayn stands up to stretch out.  "See you lads there."  Zayn gives Harry and Louis a peck on the lips before leaving.

When they're alone, Harry furrows his eyebrows.  "Zayn thinks I'm coming to the barbeque?"

Louis mirrors the look back at Harry.  "You're not coming?"

"I was invited?"  Harry asks like he obviously doesn't realize how significant of a role he plays in Louis' life.

"Harry.  You realize I don't think of you as Harry Styles from the zoo anymore?  You're like, Haz.  As in, Haz, Z, and Lou.  Of course you're invited silly thing."  Louis rolls his eyes.

"Really?"  Harry brightens.  "Okay- wait, fuck.  Hang on." 

Harry fumbles around in his pockets to fish out his phone then dials a number and presses it to his ear.  He looks at Louis.  "I just need to-" Harry sit's up a little straighter.  "Hey dad!  I um, got invited to an informal work party tomorrow.  I know it's... yeah, I know.  That's why I wanted to call and ask."  Harry waits and chews on his bottom lip. 

Louis watches curiously as Harry's eyes widen and a look of horror crosses his face. 

Harry looks directly at Louis.  "Um, I'll, uh, see what I can do..."  Harry clears his throat.  "Yes Sir.  Understood."  Harry hangs up.

Louis blinks at Harry.

"Sorry about that- er..."  Harry itches the side of his head.

"So you can come, but with a stipulation that I assume somehow affects me?"  Louis pours himself another cup of tea.

"Yeah."  Harry itches his nose.  "Um, he like, would like to meet you."

Louis chokes on his tea.  "Excuse me?"

"Gem- I- well... will you come to family dinner with me on Sunday night?"  Harry holds his breath.

"Sure.  I'd love to meet your family."  Louis stomach says the complete opposite, not because he doesn't want to know everything about Harry's life, but because it's _Harry's family_.  "Do they like... well, who do they think I am?"

Harry turns bright red at this, and Louis doesn't think he really likes what Harry's answer is going to be.  "Well, my dad and Gem knew I had a crush on you basically from the beginning.  Then I started staying nights and I always told my mom I was staying with Gemma.  So my mom thinks you're my boss who is just a mate, but Gemma knows better and I think my dad might suspect something is up."

Louis chews on the inside of his lip.  "And why does your dad want to meet me?"

"He just wants to know who I'm spending all my time with.  He's very um..."  Harry waves his hand in the air, looking for his answer.  "...particular."

Louis doesn't really like the word choice on Harry's part, and wants to find out what he's actually getting into.  "He wants to make sure you're not spending time with a gold digger?"

"Partly, yeah."  Harry looks like he might be nauseous.  "But like, just to get to know you.  So just be you.  Smart and lovely and mature and all that."

"Right."  Louis thinks it sounds like he'll have to some winning-over to do then.  "Is there like a dress code or anything?"  Louis doesn't mean for it to sound condescending, he truly wants to show up prepared.

"Just normal- well..."  Harry pauses to rethink his answer.  "Like, nice jeans and a long sleeve button up would be fine."

"Okay, I can definitely manage that."  Louis can't actually, but that's what Zayn's wardrobe is for. 

"And you should like, wear your hair down; but have some product in it... If you want."  Harry gently suggests.

Louis quirks an eyebrow, encouraging more explanation.

"Because you look older with your hair quiffed."  Harry says.

"So you want me to look younger?"  Louis smiles.

"I..."  Harry bites at his nail.  "I don't want my dad to get the wrong impression..."

Louis laughs heartily at that.  "So the look I'm going for is a preppy- but not gay- smart, school boy who is much wiser than his years and actually down to earth?"

Harry turns bright red.  "If my mum asks, would you be opposed to saying you're like, 24 or something?"

Louis reaches out to poke where Harry's dimple would crease if he were smiling.  "I look too old to pass for 23?" 

Harry bites at Louis' finger.  "Fine.  You could say 23."

"I could say I just have aged skin from smoking."  Louis jokes.

Harry's face falls, and _right_ , Louis forgot.

"No smoking, disrespectful language, or drinking?"  Louis asks.

"I mean... We drink wine..."  Harry fiddles with the silver cross hanging from his neck.  "My dad secretly drinks scotch with me when he gets it from company parties..."

"Looks like I'll have to put my years of presenting and acting to the test then.  They'll have no idea what a horrible person I actually am."  Louis jokes. 

Harry huffs out.  "It's not like that... They just need to get to know you first."

"I won't let you down."  Louis leans in to press a kiss to Harry's lips, then kisses up to his ear.  "One more question." 

"Hmm?"  Harry's throat vibrates the response.

Louis kisses down his neck to where the hickies from last night are located.  "What are you going to do about these?"  He sinks his teeth into the raised flesh.

"Ah... ahm... just..."  Harry stutters, "...keep doing that..."

Louis bites down into the bruise a little harder and Harry breathes out hotly.  "How about I give you a matching one on the other side?"

Harry nods against Louis' face. 

Louis swivels Harry's chin in his hand and sucks onto the other side of Harry's neck. 

"Yeah."  Harry whispers out.

Louis takes his time, sucking until his cheeks become sore and he can taste the tiniest hint of blood on his tongue.  Louis pulls back and flicks his eyes from the purple skin up to Harry's blissed out face.

He lets his tongue circle the bruise then pulls down the collar of Harry's v-neck.  Louis licks down to the prominent collarbones being shown off.  "I love your collarbones."  He kisses up and down the length of both of them, then bites and nips at the skin until there's a bright pink line along the ridge.

Harry's head is leaned back against the couch.  "Well they love you."

Louis laughs against Harry's skin and Harry's eyes open. 

"Sorry.  Just felt really good."  Harry bites his lip.

"Can I... try something?"  Louis asks, looking down at Harry's crotch.

It's Harry's turn to laugh, but only lightly.  "You don't even have to ask.  I trust you."

Louis gets down on his knees and pulls Harry to the edge of the couch.  He unbuckles Harry's belt and carefully undoes the button and zipper.  Harry is already half hard in his underpants and Louis licks his lips when he pulls Harry's length out. 

Louis looks up at Harry one more time and feels him growing harder in his hands.  Harry's dark eyelashes are pressed tightly against the porcelain skin on his cheek.  Louis licks his lips again, then goes down on Harry.

Harry's skin tastes wonderful in Louis' mouth, and he takes the time to enjoy the soft and salty taste of his delicate skin.  Harry only grows larger in his mouth, and Louis is kind of amazed at how much smaller his mouth is becoming in comparison to Harry. 

He notices the start of the sensitivity when Harry hits the back of his throat.  Louis moves his mouth to keep Harry more shallow to recover from the sensation.  He tries to take Harry deeper again, but immediately pulls off after doing so.

Harry pets a hand through his hair.  "You okay?  You don't have to do this."

"'M fine.  Just a little extra sensitive on the gag reflexes."  Louis rubs circles into Harry's hipbones.

"Just please don't vomit on my dick."  Harry requests gently.  "I'm fine with it any other time, but... just, yeah..."

Louis laughs.  "I won't." 

He takes a breath before going down on Harry again.  He shoves the sensitivity to the back of his brain and tries not to think about it.  He instead enjoys the mere fact that he's touching such a beautiful part of Harry and making him feel good. 

He hears Harry's breath catch and looks up to see a light red starting to flush downward from his neck.  Louis tries pushing farther again, but his neurotransmitters simply refuse to let him continue doing so.

Louis slides his lips off and looks up at Harry.  "I'm sorry...  My throat..." 

He feels rather ashamed if he's being honest with himself.  Out of all the times for his body to want to be resistant, he _really_ wishes it wasn't now.  He would trade in any of his sexual experiences with Mark to be able to get through something as simple as oral sex with Harry.

But he can't.

Harry thumbs at the side of Louis' cheekbone.  "Don't you dare apologize.  It's technically my own fault."  They share a humored smile.  "We can just kiss if you want.  Or we don't even have to do anything."

"But you deserve a blow job and so much more."  Louis joins Harry up on the couch.

"So much more, hmm?"  Harry takes his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Yes.  Which I hope we can get to that point eventually."  Louis kisses Harry's neck.  "But for now, I'd love to help finish you."

"Eventually?  So not for a while?"  Harry cranes his head away from Louis.

"Do you really want to have this conversation now?  Because we can put a pin in it and come back to it in like, five minutes if you can manage that."  Louis kisses down Harry's neck.

"Pin in it then.  Sorry."  Harry breathes out.

"Thought so."  Louis mumbles into the bottom dip of Harry's v-neck.

Louis straddles Harry and takes his hardness with one hand, and presses the thumb of his other hand into the hickies that streak down the center of the kelp on his hipbones.  Harry lets out a small moan and Louis kisses behind his ear.

"I love your body so much.  I can't wait until I can give you a proper blow job."  Louis massages the hipbone hickey and slowly strokes Harry with his other hand.  "So pretty.  Such a pretty cock too."  Louis inhales the deep scent of Harry's curls behind his ears and licks at the perimeter of Harry's hairline.  "Such pretty hair."

Louis speeds up the movements of his hand and digs his thumb in a little harder, feeling Harry flex into his touch.  He keeps up the pace for another minute until Harry's breathing becomes shallower.  Louis moves his free hand up to cup Harry's neck and nips lightly at the hickies.

"Ahh- just a little... harder..."  Harry rasps out.

Louis smiles against Harry's neck and uses his thumb to dig in on one side, and his teeth into the other. 

"Lou- ah!"  Harry shudders and reaches his hand between their bodies to catch his release before it gets on their clothes.

Louis kisses his cheek.  "So pretty."  He dismounts Harry and grabs a handful of napkins from the kitchen.  "Here you are."  Louis passes Harry the napkins.

Harry makes a face as he pulls a sticky hand away from his crotch.  "Thanks.  Can I do the same for you?"

Louis hums.  "How about a little later in case I decide to fall asleep again?"  Harry nods in agreement.  "I'm sorry I couldn't give you more pleasure."

Harry wads the napkins up to the side of him and zips his pants back up.  "Don't apologize.  It was absolutely amazing."

"Maybe I can talk Zayn into giving you blowjobs in the meantime."  Louis says it before he really actually thinks through what he just said.  "I mean- shit... That didn't come out right at all."

Harry stands up too-quickly and self-consciously brushes his clothes off.  "Er- it's fine."

Louis clears his throat.  "Anyway.  I've a few questions for you regarding your... preferences and... things.  Fancy a drink?"

"Can you drink?"  Harry cocks his head to the side.

"Of course.  And since Z isn't here tonight to smoke with us, I need another substance to fill my veins."  Louis washes his hands in the sink and grabs his keys.

Harry follows suit.  "We could split a blunt?"

"You prefer smoking to drinking?  Or just not feeling social?"  Louis asks.

"Neither.  Just asking."  Harry shrugs.

"Variety is the spice of life young Harold."  Louis tosses the keys to Harry.  "Besides, I want to do a bit of wingman work for Zayn.  It's the least I can do after all he's done for me."

"Well you should have said that earlier!  Let's go!"  Harry nearly skips out the door with Louis.

They drive to Blue Grounds listening to the first bit of the Daft Punk album again; this time Harry singing along to some of the lines he remembers.  Louis smokes a ciggie on the way with the window down, enjoying the crisp air that filters through the car.

When they arrive, they take seat at the bar, and Liam the nice bartender is there.

Liam approaches the two and flips two glass cups out of nowhere in front of them.  "Louis!  It's good to see you again mate.  Who's this?"

Louis wraps an arm around Harry's shoulder.  "This is..."  How exactly is he supposed to introduce Harry?  More than a co-worker friend?  Blossoming lover?  "...Harry."  He finishes lamely.

Liam shakes Harry's hand.  "It's so nice to meet you mate!  I'm Liam.  What can I get you two tonight?"

Harry looks to Louis. 

"Fourex bitter and a cosmo please."  Louis orders.

"I'll have the same."  Harry says.

Liam claps his hands.  "Comin' right up-"

"Hang on."  Louis interrupts.  "Do you actually know what you ordered Haz?"  Louis doesn't even need Harry to answer to know that this is another 'veggie and side of sweets' incident all over again.  "What d'you usually get?"

"I dunno.  People usually ordered drinks for me... So I just kind of took whatever they got me."  Harry chews on his lip.

Right.

Louis holds up a finger to Liam.  "Sorry Liam, we'll need just a second." 

"Take your time, it's 4:30 on a Thursday."  Liam waves off.

Louis turns his attention to Harry.  "Were there ones you enjoyed more than others?  Do you even _like_ drinking?"

Harry contemplates on Louis' questions for a good two minutes, and Louis waits patiently, watching as Harry sifts through the memory files of all the times he's drank.

Harry lights up when he comes to his conclusion.  "I like the strawberry flavored ones." 

Louis gives him a pleased face in return.  He turns to Liam.

"Strawberry Daiquiri perhaps?"  Liam offers.

"Yes!"  Harry points to Liam.  "That one."

"Be right back with those."  Liam gives them a parting smile.

"No more 'fitting in' bullshit around me, okay?"  Louis requests.

Harry taps his fingers on the bar.  "Fine.  Sorry."

"It's okay."  Louis moves a curl from the side of Harry's face to expose his neck.  "I really like the way you are.  I don't fit in anywhere either, so we may as well just be misfits together."

Harry laughs.  "Okay... thank you."

Three glasses are set in front of them and Louis salivates almost immediately.  It's been a while since he's done any kind of drinking, and a cosmopolitan is appealing to every single one of his taste buds about now.  Then he loves the stark taste difference of mixing a bitter beer with the sweetness of his mixed drink.

He takes a hearty drink of beer and watches as Harry fruitily sips his daiquiri through a straw.  "Is it what you wanted?"  Louis asks.

Harry nods excitedly.  "Yes!  Pink and Pleasantly Buzzed was my term for this drink.  I just never paid attention to the name."

Louis laughs at Harry's nickname for it.  He only wonders what kind of activities happened after drinking all those daiquiris.  He feels the surge of protectiveness wash over him again and places a hand on Harry's thigh.

"So... Our pinned conversation...?"  Harry starts.

"Right.  Where were we?"  Louis muses.

"I believe we left off somewhere around 'eventually so much more'."  Harry recites like it's been at the tip of his tongue the whole time.

"Yes, yes.  You pointed out my unspecific time frame.  Was that in a 'I hope eventually is a long ways down the road' or 'I wish we fucked yesterday' kind of way?  Or maybe you had a specific date in mind... or maybe you're not even interested in going there with me..."  Louis lists off.

"Fuck, no, I- I'm definitely interested in going there with you.  I guess just like... what did you have in mind when you said eventually?"  Harry hides behind his straw.

"I asked you first love."  Louis takes the first sip of his cosmo and pleasantly squirms at the internal battle of tastes on his tongue.  Though it's _much_ more alcohol-heavy than he remembers it tasting.

Harry sighs.  "Well.  I am open to whatever time frame you had in mind.  I don't have any inhibitions with you- but it's not like I'm in a rush either.  Your turn."

Louis is pleased with how forthcoming Harry is with his opinion.  It's not that Louis didn't expect him to say as much, but hearing him say it out loud gives him a pleasant smack of reality as far as his sexual future with Harry goes.

Louis nods slowly.  "I'm kind of on the same page as you... only, maybe leaning a little further on the side of a 'longer' eventually?  I just like to wait a little while just to be sure, you know?"

Harry keeps a passive face, and Louis doesn't quite like that reaction.

"Why are you looking at me that way?"  Louis asks.

Harry rubs the hem of his shirt between his index finger and thumb.  "Um." 

"'Um'?"  Louis encourages.

"I guess I feel like you were giving me a little different signals?  Like, I know you're patient with things and everything, but I just thought that like we were really comfortable with each other and mutually... _wanted_... each other."  Harry says like it pains him.

And Louis can understand, but honestly, it pains him to hear that; and he's going to have to respond with just as much honesty.  "Harry, I- I think- no, _I know_ \- we have different background experiences that we're coming from, so I think the context is a little different for both of us.  Not to assume- but I'm going to make an assumption anyway- that men showed their 'want' for you differently than I probably do.  And if we look at it reversely, all I really know is being 'wanted' by someone when they or I explicitly ask for it.  Am I making any sense?"

Harry takes a deep breath.  "So you _do_ want me in that way?"

Louis feels like this is asking if the sky is blue, but if Harry's asking, he must still need the verification of it.  "Yes, I do."

"But you don't want me like that _yet_?"  Harry asks.

"Not necessarily... I do.  I'd just like to probably wait a little longer before jumping deeper into that realm."  Louis takes another long drink of beer to calm the anxiety flitting around like sparks to dry kindling.

"You don't want to have sex with me like, today or tomorrow, but eventually?"  Harry bites his lip.

Louis furrows his eyebrows.  "You keep asking me the same question, and I keep answering it, and I'm not sure who's missing what."

Harry takes a long drink before responding.  "I _think_... if I were to put it into animal terms... I probably approach sex more like a rabbit whereas you seem to be more the penguin type... so we have different cues and expectations for things like this."

Louis laughs at that, but he thinks it's very wise at the same time.  "I think that's quite the astute observation you have there.  So then tell me, how would a rabbit prefer to be courted?"

Harry giggles back.  "There's your first mistake.  Rabbits don't need courting to copulate.  I don't need you search Antarctica for the perfect pebble to lay at my feet before I spread my legs."

This makes a lot more sense when they're putting it into terms they both understand.  They seem to do really well when communicating via animal analogies.  The Zayn-tarantula incident earlier today being another case and point. 

Critical conversations by way of creatures.  Brilliant.

"So, a rabbit would understand a penguins vacillation over such a situation?"  Louis takes another sip of his cosmo as Harry responds with a nod, mouth still attached to his straw.  "And said rabbit would understand that me lying pebbles at his feet would be equivalent to him spreading his legs for me?"

Harry giggles again.  "Maybe I should've chosen a different animal.  I've made myself out to be the slut of the animal kingdom."

"I don't think you're a slut."  Louis says.

"I do."  Harry looks down at the bar.

"Hey, look at me."  Louis holds onto one of Harry's hands.  "You're not like... currently seeing anyone else are you?"

Harry shakes his head.

"There you go.  Nothing to worry about.  Even if you were, I don't think that'd make you anything other than the amazing person you are.  If you aren't tied down to anyone, you get to play by your own rules, and that's okay."  Louis strokes over his knuckles.

"I used to be a slut."  Harry admits.

"Who cares?  It doesn't matter what you think you were or what you actually were.  You are who you are now, and that's what matters."  Louis says.

"You don't think less of me, do you?"  Harry looks into Louis' eyes.

"Hell no!  Not in the least Haz dear."  Louis shakes his head.  "Not in a million years.  Though, I would like to ask another question on the related topic."

"Sure?"  Harry returns the straw to its place between his lips.

"Do you plan on seeing... other rabbits, while also seeing the penguin?"  Louis is a little more than nervous to hear the answer, because even though Harry might be done with his wild clubbing days, maybe he still has a man with whom he will be sharing physical affection. 

He takes another drink of his beer and chases it down with the cosmo.  The alcohol prances through his body, extra effective not only because of the platypus venom, but also because it's been a while since he's last had any kind of booze.

"I think..."  Harry contemplates, biting at his straw.  "That I don't plan on seeing other rabbits.  But if we're being specific here, I'm going to say that the penguin isn't actually a penguin, and is probably more of a dolphin because Mr. Penguin-Dolphin has a side penguin who is also not actually a penguin, but probably a penguin-walrus, which would make me a penguin-rabbit, since said penguin-dolphin has expressed explicit interest in sharing the rabbit with his walrus, making both of us part of the penguin-walrus harem."

Louis laughs so hard that he almost chokes on his drink.  How did he ever find Harry?  He absolutely adores him.  "Is Zayn the walrus then?"

Harry laughs with him.  "Obvious-"

"Oh you know Zayn too?  How is he doing?  Still seeing that girl?"  Liam comes up to them, cleaning a wine glass with his rag.

Louis and Harry burst into giggles again.

"Definitely a walrus because there has to be room for a Liam!  I almost forgot!"  Louis exclaims.

"Well what do you think Liam is then?"  Harry leans forward on his elbow to inspect Liam.

"I dunno... Liam!"  Louis demands Liam's attention.  Liam jumps a little, but gives Louis his undivided attention nonetheless.  "What animal describes your sex life?"

Liam flushes bright red.  "Well, I don't know as much about animals as you probably do, seeing as you're the zookeeper here..." 

"Well we'll help you figure it out then!  Firstly, are you gay, straight, or bi?"  Harry interrogates.

Liam struggles to keep a hold of the wine glass.  "Animals can be um... bisexual?"

"Obviously.  Animals have been bisexual long before humans."  Louis thinks it's a good thing that they're here to educate Liam on such foundational knowledge of the animal kingdom.  He wonders where Liam went to school and if he should maybe write a letter letting the administration know to reevaluate their curriculum.

"Well, I'd probably be one of those then..."  Liam treads lightly.

"Okay, okay!"  Harry waves his hands in front of him.  "That narrows down his options here.  Help me out Louis."  Harry counts with his fingers.  "So we have, the dolphin, the deep sea squid, there's black swans and monkeys..."

Louis jumps in.  "And lions and lizards!"

"Yes!  So, if you're like a dolphin, you do it for fun.  If you're like a squid, you do it 'cause you're lonely.  If you're a swan, you do it 'cause you're conniving and manipulative to get threesomes.  If you're a monkey, you're just _weird-_ " Harry trails off, lost in thought, presumably about monkey's sexual behaviors.

"Male lions have flings, and lizards do feminized role play!"  Louis finishes for Harry.  "Did you know female lions will only be homosexual in captivity?  So you _could_ technically fall into the subcategory of a female lion if you're doing it out of boredom..."

Liam looks significantly uncomfortable now. 

Harry smiles at Liam with bright pink lips.  "Let me guess... You're a male lion!"

Louis slams his hand on the bar top.  " _No!_   He's a monkey.  I have a feeling about this one."

Harry slits his eyes in suspicious approval and opens his mouth to affirm Louis' opinion.

"I'd probably be a lizard then." 

Harry and Louis both snap their heads towards the tall, broad-shouldered, very handsome Liam in a lumberjack shirt.

Louis folds his arms across his body.  "I should have seen it from a mile away.  Haz, I'm usually so good at reading people.  I'm losing my touch."

"It's okay, you're still my chocolate pretzel."  Harry wraps a comforting arm around Louis.

"Liam!"  Louis demands Liam's attention again.

"Yes?"  Liam looks very much like a deer in proverbial headlights.

"You _have_ to come to our party tomorrow.  We're bringing a greek salad and there will be a lot of weed."  Louis says very untactfully.

"Oh, I don't really smoke, thank you though."  Liam tries to softly decline.

"No, no, no.  You don't have to smoke.  We just have to properly introduce you to our walrus without a dozen platypodes hanging off the sides of him."  Louis explains.

"He likes lizards!"  Harry exclaims.

"I um, I don't think I'm quite following..."  Liam looks very confused.

Louis goes to take a drink and realizes both glasses are very much empty.  He pulls out his phone instead and shoves it into Liam's hand.  "Okay, put your number in my phone and I'll text you the details so then you can follow us there or use your GPS."

"Lou, they have apps for that now, no one uses GPS's."  Harry says.

"You can't put all your eggs in one basket Harold.  It's bad financial planning and could be destructive if all of society relies on one piece of technology."  Louis points out.

Liam hands Louis' phone back to him.  "Okay, I just put my number in.  Do I- should I call a cab for you two?  I don't think I served you over the limit..."  Liam pulls out a pocket book full of drink recipes and alcohol laws and squints at it.

"Well I can't drive anyway, but Harry should be able to."  Louis waves off.

" _Fuck_!"  Liam brings the pocket book closer to his eyes.  "It's smudged.  I- I..."

"I knew it!  You fucked us up!  The cosmo tasted way too alcohol-y."  Louis points at Liam and Harry just giggles.

"Fuck, fuck, _fucking_ shit on a pretzel!"  Liam shoves the pocket book back into his apron.  "I've been here three months now, and I can't even do the simplest mixed drinks!"

"Chocolate pretzels for everyone!"  Harry throws his hands up in the air, and Louis thinks either one, both, or all three of them are really confused.

"I definitely need to call a cab, I completely fucked up.  Sorry, it's on me this time.  I apologize..."  Liam turns around to call a taxi with the bar phone.

"Haaaaaazyyyyyy."  Louis drawls.

"Louiiiiiiiiisssssss."  Harry mimics.

"Why d'you like people to be rough with you?  You're s'soft and perfect to cuddle."  Louis lays his head on Harry's shoulder.

"I like anything when it's with you."  Harry kisses the side of Louis' head.

"I like you."  Louis says.

"I like you too."  Harry says.

"Hey guys, your cab is here.  I'll see you tomorrow then?  Again, I'm so sorry about the situation tonight..."  Liam scratches the back of his neck.

"'S'fine, 's'fine."  Louis waves off.  "C'mon dazzle Hazzle."  Louis grabs Harry's hand.

They make it into the cab and decidedly snog the whole ride home.  When they stumble through the door, Zayn looks at them both with raised eyebrows.

"Zaynie, Zaynie!  We found your lizard!"  Louis exclaims.

"He's coming to the harem!"  Harry runs up to Zayn and French kisses him.  "And I get to be your penguin-rabbit!"

"God, what did you two have to drink?"  Zayn disattaches Harry from his body.  "You taste like alcohol."

"It was your lizards fault, but it's okay."  Harry says.  "If I spread my legs for you, would you think I was a slut?"

Zayn clears his throat.  " _No_... and I think you two should go work this off in your room."

Louis staggers up behind Harry.  "But we need _you_ to give him a blow job since I can't!"

" _Okay_ , I definitely think we should be having this conversation when you're both _not_ inebriated."  Zayn says.  "I'll be in my room.  Don't hurt yourselves, and no handling the tarantula."

Harry salutes Zayn.  "Yes sir!"

The next thing Louis knows, he's being whisked onto his bed, clothes shucked off, and Harry giving him a frantic hand job.  Louis remembers seeing white stars before it all turned black.

~~~


	26. Chapter 25

 A/N: I messed up on chapter uploads... apologies. Here is the actual chapter 25.

 

~~~ 

A/N: Dedicated to @Larryfanforlife because they are super special to me <3         

Due to a change in my work schedule, I will no longer be updating at noon. I will still update every Friday, but I can't guarantee the time of day. I will also still be updating another time over the weekend :)

~~~

Louis wakes up to a sharp pain in his shin.  He kicks around to find that Harry's legs are tangled in his own. 

"Harry."  Louis croaks.  "My leg..."

Harry groans.  "Hmfphna." 

Louis pushes Harry away from him.  "Sorry, just..."  Louis sits up to rub at his calf. 

"Oh fuck, s'ry babe."  Harry sits up attentively and takes over the massaging.  "Is it asleep?"

"Yeah."  Louis lays back down on the bed.  His head feels like the Eureka Tower collapsed on top of him.  "I think we need a large pot of tea."

"What time is it?  Where's my phone?"  Harry grabs Louis' phone off the nightstand.  "You have a text from Z."

**Sorry Haz, needed to let Lou sleep off whatever you guys drank.. Rolex and phone are in the microwave again ;)**

Louis laughs.  "To the kitchen then."

Harry responds automatically by doing the Batman diddy and Louis laughs again.

"You're such a nerd."  Louis pokes his nose.

When they get to the kitchen, they find that Zayn had wrapped Harry's watch in toilet paper again, with his phone sitting next to it.  They make a large pot of tea and breakfast together, then take turns in the bathroom.  Harry forces Louis' hair into a quiff and Louis thinks he looks matured and completely ridiculous, but Harry really digs it.

Louis remembers that he semi-forcibly got Liam's number last night and texts Liam with a quick apology and a more formal invite to the party.  Liam responds back with yet another apology about giving them too much alcohol, and decides to come.

By the time Louis and Harry have picked up the house, they decide on playing Zelda for a few hours, while they let Queen Gohma crawl back and forth between their conjoined shoulders.

When the side door opens up, Zayn's voice carries through the house.  "Do I hear Zelda?"

"Yes hurry!  Harry's about to beat Morpha!"  Louis calls out.

Zayn hops over the back of the couch and plops on the other side of Harry.  "Damn, I haven't pulled out this game in forever!  You guys got to the water temple today?  How long have you been playing?"

"No, no!  Nooooo!"  Harry shakes the controller up and down.  "Damn it!  _Fuck_!"

"Oh lookie, Haz's about to fail!"  Louis points at the screen where Link is dramatically dying.

Zayn hums.  "Looks like he's got a fairy, so you're in good shape."

"Ha ha!"  Harry exclaims triumphantly.  "I am victorious!"

"No, it still counts as dying!  I win our bet!"  Louis argues.

"What bet?"  Zayn asks.

"If I don't die the whole time, I get to pay for the salad for Niall's barbie tonight.  If I do die- which, that totally _didn't_ count as actual dying- then Louis pays for the salad."  Harry explains while Link gets grabbed up by the Water Temple boss.

"Why does Louis want to pay for the salad?"  Zayn questions.

"Because he bought me Queen Gohma.  We have to be even."  Louis says.  "There's still time though, he still needs another attack on Morpha, and he _could_ lose all his hearts before then."

"Doesn't look like it mate."  Zayn points out as Harry delivers the final blow to Morpha.

"Yes bitch!"  Harry throws the controller out of his hands and it hits the console, making the screen go black and white.

"You broke our fucking N64."  Zayn deadpans.

"Sorry."  Harry scratches his head.  "I'll buy you a new one."

"I get to buy the salad because you broke our gaming system."  Louis decides.

"Lou, that doesn't make sense, just let Harry buy the damn salad.  It's only like, $15 anyway."  Zayn stands and leaves to his room.

"Oops."  Harry looks at Louis.  "I didn't mean to make him mad... or break your system.  I'm sorry."

"'S fine.  It was hella old anyway."  Louis fiddles with the knobs to turn off the fuzzy television.  "You really are fast though.  I didn't believe you could get that far so soon."

"Well next time, you have to play A Link to the Past to show me your mad skills.  And I promise I won't break your Super Nintendo in the process."  Harry says.

"Good, good.  Well, let's go to the supermarket, yes?"  Louis tosses a blanket at Harry.

Harry bats the blanket away from hitting him.  "Yes, but we should put Gohma away first before you smother her to death." 

Louis folds up the blanket he just threw at Harry.  "Right.  I forgot she was here." 

Louis pulls her from her new favorite hiding place between Harry's neck and his curls.  He takes her back to her home and gets in the car with Harry.  He spits out his gum and swaps it for a cigarette. 

Their trip to the grocery store goes rather quickly, Louis being very familiar with where to get all the necessary items.  Harry ends up paying for it, much to Louis' disdain, and he has a feeling that this is probably going to be a recurring thing.

He has to say, he's not totally bummed about it.  Not only domestically shopping with Harry, but spending money as if it's mutually theirs tickles Louis in a way that has him checking to see if Gohma is still crawling up his arm.

Zayn is already in the kitchen when they get back, snacking on Harry's spinach and kale veggie chips.

"Ha!  I knew you liked them!"  Harry accuses, dozens of grocery bags draped from his arm.

Louis is carrying the lightest bag with the spinach leafs.  He feels helpful.

Zayn freezes, mouth half open and chip dust littered across his lips. 

"You owe me more chips then."  Harry heaves the bags onto the countertop. 

"If I share with you, do I still need to get you a new bag?"  Zayn shoves the empty bag into the trash bin.

"Well you can't very well share with me if you've already eaten all of them."  Harry dusts his hands off on his pants.

Zayn gives him a look.

"Oh."  Harry looks at Louis.

Louis looks at Zayn.  "Oh."

They all seem to be waiting on Louis.

"I thought we've already established this.  Share away."  Louis swishes his hand out.

Louis unbags the spinach and pulls out a bowl to start making the salad while Harry and Zayn maul each other's lips.  It's all very domestic and Louis likes it very much.

Louis has most of the salad put together and the cheese shredded over the top.  All he has left is to cut up the radishes and olives, but decidedly leaves those for Zayn and Harry so that he doesn't accidentally cut himself.

Zayn and Harry have since moved to the couch and Harry is grinding up and down on Zayn's lap.  Louis moseys over and leans on the back of the couch next to Zayn and Harry's faces.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I have to interrupt."  Louis chuckles when they both jump in surprise at Louis' presence.  "Everything's done except- oomph!"

Louis feels weightless for a moment as he's being lifted over the couch and sandwiched between Zayn and Harry.  He flails his arms out to grab onto something, and ends up with one hand on Zayn's thigh, and one around Harry's back.  He manages to discover that Harry is now straddling the both of them by Harry's telltale curls tickling his face and plush lips attacking his own.

Then there's a pair of lips on his neck, and he can tell from anywhere that they belong to Zayn.  Only, they're kissing Louis in a fashion he's not so much familiar with.  There's more wanton in Zayn's actions than the previous times Louis and him have been intimate.  It's familiar and different in a great way, and on top of that, he has Harry going to town on his face, completely taking his breath away.

Harry's lips come off Louis' with a pop and he's breathing heavily.  "Lou, can I suck Zayn off?"

Zayn's teeth sink in a little deeper to Louis' neck and Louis wants to snort.  He doesn't, but he wants to, because who asks that?  "Fuck, of course."

Harry presses a harsh kiss to Louis' lips, and Louis thinks it's more a formality 'thank-you' than the actual desire to kiss Louis for the sake of kissing him. 

Louis smiles into the kiss and pushes Harry off.  "I think you have your body parts confused.  Those are my lips, not Zayn's dick."

Harry rolls onto the floor almost immediately and Louis and Zayn laugh.  Harry sits up straight looking like an anxious puppy. 

"Don't want you t'feel excluded."  Harry's lips are bright pink and swollen and he's looking at Louis with dilated pupils.

"I very much _don't_ feel excluded.  Thank you for caring though."  Louis lifts himself to the side of Zayn's lap.  "Carry on then." 

Louis really has no idea what is happening or why he's all the sudden observing and directing Zayn and Harry's fellatio, but he'll just continue doing what he's doing because it seems to be working.

Harry shuffles forward on his knees and undoes Zayn's pants.  Zayn's face honestly looks like he's suffering much more pain than pleasure at the moment, but Louis doesn't really blame him.  Harry looks rather sexually appealing on his knees in front of the two men.

Harry takes Zayn into his mouth and bars no restraints with going down on him.  Zayn moans out right as Harry's cheeks are hollow in so tightly that Louis can't imagine Zayn even being in Harry's mouth.

Harry's lips are swollen as is, but around Zayn, they look even larger.  The bright pink makes a stark contrast from Zayn's dark skin.  Zayn threads a hand through Harry's curls and forcibly pulls Harry to the end of his length, and when Harry's lips are pulled off completely, he sticks his tongue out, still trying to continue licking Zayn.

Zayn instead leans down to French kiss Harry deeply and bite down hard on his bottom lip.  Harry squeaks out lightly as Zayn draws the slightest bit of blood from his lips.

Louis wants to intervene.  Like, 'stop you're hurting Harry' intervene, and then maybe punch Zayn in the face.

But Harry goes almost completely pliant as he completely gives his body to Zayn.  Louis can see it in his eyes and his body language just how fucking much Harry wants this. 

So he doesn't intervene. 

After Zayn seems to have accomplished what he wants, he directs Harry back down to his crotch.  If Harry's lips were swollen and puffy before, he wouldn't even know the words to describe them now.

Depraved, maybe.

Harry and Zayn work a rhythm where they're both halfway in control of what's going on.  By looking at Harry, it looks like Zayn is absolutely destroying his mouth.  By looking at Zayn, it looks like Harry is wrecking his will to live.

"Haz, _fuck!_ I'm gonna..."  Zayn bites on his bottom lip and Harry blinks up at him through glossy eyes.  " _Fuck!_ "  Zayn's body tightens and shudders.

Harry squints his eyes shut in concentration and swallows before pulling off Zayn, then promptly stands up and licks Zayn on the nose.

Louis is...  He's breathless really.

Zayn responds by pinning Harry to the floor and attacking his neck.  The same neck that Louis marked up and bruised all by himself.  Harry writhes at the sensitivity, and well, Louis is feeling a thing.

"Z, don't leave marks.  That's for me only."  Louis says.

Zayn lets go of Harry's neck immediately, and Harry looks like he's just been cockblocked then thrown off Mount Everest. 

"Sorry."  Zayn flits his eyes up at Louis before shuffling down to Harry's pants.  "Just let me know if there's anything else-" His eyes bulge out of his sockets when Harry is laid out fully erect in front of him.

Harry is breathing heavily and waiting on Zayn to do anything, or Louis to say something.  When everyone is still for too long, he pathetically thrusts up into the air experimentally.  It's enough to break Zayn from his stupor and suck Harry like his life depends on it.

It's all very raw and hot, and Louis doesn't know what to do with himself other than just watch and enjoy.  He would maybe consider having a wank if he wasn't 100 percent sure he would faint afterwards, which he definitely can't do because they have a party to attend. 

Watching Harry with Zayn and Zayn with Harry is like watching an amplified version of anything Louis has ever thought about sex.  The hype and the sayings about doing it like animals make sense when he's watching them together.  Louis and Harry may have the proper chemistry for companionship and love, but Harry and Zayn definitely have all the right chemistry for lust. 

He still doesn't quite get what drives lust and how all the specifics work, but he definitely has a better understanding of why people crave it so much.

Zayn has fingers wrapped tightly around Harry's base, and Harry's whimpers become more vocal.  "Zayn, please, _please_!"

Zayn only squeezes tighter and Harry cries out.  Louis wonders if the masochism is more about control, or just needing more than pleasure to really feel something.  Zayn seems to be eating it up though, and Louis almost feels bad for telling Zayn not to mark Harry.  He thinks of a few different ways that Harry could receive pleasure from things that would leave marks.  Things he'd like to try with Harry that aren't too far on the extreme end.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!"  Harry's whole body clenches up as Zayn releases his fingers, and Louis can almost feel the same happening in his body.  The desire of just pure want is toying with the edges of his mind.  Harry gasps out and Zayn swallows with Harry still between his lips.

Harry looks like a spongy, floppy starfish on his living room floor, and Zayn looks very pleased.  Louis feels like he's just run 20 kilometers.

Zayn gives Harry a kiss to the forehead and a lingering, soft kiss to the lips, then walks to the kitchen to finish cutting up radishes.

Harry twitches on the floor.

"You okay Haz?"  Louis' voice cracks on the first word.

"I- I'm here."  Harry's eyes slowly roll upward to look at Louis.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm uh... here too."  Louis says blankly.

Harry crawls up onto the couch to snuggle his face into Louis' lap.  Louis pets his hands through Harry's hair.  They stay on the couch for a little while, working their way back to reality. 

"Alright mates, salad's done.  You ready to go?"  Zayn calls from the kitchen.

Louis and Harry communally groan and get off the couch.  They all load into Zayn's car and Louis lights a cigarette for himself and Zayn.  Harry's in the back seat holding the salad.

"Is everyone okay with what happened earlier?  Aside from the stated marking request."  Zayn lifts his sunglasses off his face to look into the rear view mirror and then to Louis.

"Yeah."  Harry smiles.  "As long as Lou's happy, I'm happy.  It was really good."

Louis smokes, contemplating a few more thoughts.  "Would you guys mind, like, not doing it alone together?  Is that too much to ask?"

Harry shakes his head.  "That's completely fine with me."  They both look to Zayn who nods in agreement.  "Could I like... ask the same for you two then?  Well, like, it's fine if you still do alone, but will you just tell me when you do?"

Zayn speaks up this time.  "Louis and I aren't fuck buddies in the traditional sense of the term.  Now that he has you, I very highly doubt there will be a reason for us to have sex with each other if you're not also in the picture."

Louis turns back to look at Harry.  "But _if_ we do, I will definitely ask you first."

Harry happily hugs the salad closer to his chest.

"I've a request as well."  Zayn puts out his cigarette in the ashtray.  "Unless I'm going to be physically involved, I'd like to not be a bystander of your relationship sex.  So please don't ask me to watch or film or any other assortment of things you could come up with."

"Fair enough."  Louis and Harry say at the same time.

Zayn chuckles and rolls his eyes as they pass Niall's completely full driveway.  There's already a lot of cars parked along the street and they have to loop around the block to find an open parking spot.  Louis wonders what the neighbors think of Niall's social life.

They're all let in and drop of the salad in the kitchen.  The small dogs yap at their feet and follow them into the back yard.  There's about 30 people there already, and three giant grills set up with large coolers sitting next to them. 

Barbara approaches them in a simple sundress, a tan from Tahiti, and a completely sans make-up face.  Harry's jaw drops a little bit.  "Hello!  Thank you so much for coming!  Louis."  She gives Louis a kiss on the cheek, then repeats the action on Zayn.  "Zayn.  Who's your friend?" 

"Hey Barbie."  Louis intertwines his hand with Harry's.  "This is Harry Styles."

Barbara gives Harry a big smile and a kiss on the cheek.  "Welcome Harry Styles.  We're so happy to have you."

"Thank you so much for allowing me into your beautiful home.  You look absolutely stunning."  Harry says all starry-eyed.

Barbara laughs and waves Harry off.  "You're too sweet.  Make yourselves at home darlings, don't let him skimp on any spirits, I _know_ he just got a new shipment.  Niall should be out in a mo- oh, there he is!"

Niall wraps both arms around the side of Barbara and gives her a wet kiss on the cheek.  "Is my lovely lady talking about me behind my back?"

"Only telling them about your newfound and secret obsession with 30-year-old Macallan."  Barbara gives Niall an eskimo kiss in return.

"I knew I shouldn't have ever confided in you with my darkest secrets."  Niall pouts.

Harry, to Louis' surprise, has been keeping up with the conversation and jumps in.  "What's your preferred series?"

"The Sherry Oak."  Niall smiles at Harry like he's just been unveiled by Vanna White herself.  "But if I'm being completely honest, I best like the Oscuro expression from the 1824 Collection."

"Ah, the Oscuro."  Harry nods his head thoughtfully.  "I've only more recently developed a taste for it.  Personally, I'm a man for the 1824 Series Sienna.  Though I'm likely biased- you know what they say: you never forget your first."  Harry laughs like an old man and Niall laughs like it's the only thing he'll do for the rest of his life.

"Oh my _God_!  Harry the homeschooled zookeeper, you are the only man here who understands me!  I have to show you my cellar."  Niall wraps an arm around Harry's shoulder and lowers his voice.  "Don't tell Barbie, but I managed to procure a bottle of M just today."

Harry's mouth gapes open.  "You've got to be kidding.  I won't believe it till I see it!"

Harry is ushered back into the house by Niall as they continue bantering back and forth.  Barbara rolls her eyes.  "He acts like I don't know where all our money goes.  Anyway, enjoy yourselves!"  She grabs a Coca-Cola from the cooler and walks over to greet more guests.

Louis and Zayn share a raised eyebrow of mutual confusion.

"So Harry is big into alcohol?"  Zayn asks.

"Um, no...?"  Louis thinks back to only two nights ago when Harry didn't know the name of a Strawberry Daiquiri.  "I mean, he mentioned he sometimes has scotch with his dad..."

Zayn snorts.  "He sounds like he spent his entire youth flirting with old men in country clubs."

Oh.

Louis blinks to himself in silence for a minute.

"Louis?"  Zayn waves a hand in front of Louis' face.

"Yeah?"  Louis itches his eye.

"Something you'd like to share with me?"  Zayn queries.

"You're not wrong."  Louis says and Zayn looks confused.  "About the country clubs... and his... preference in men..."  Louis says it, and it has a foul taste in his mouth.  He feels like he needs a really strong cranberry vodka to rinse and spit with.

Zayn ponders on that thought for a moment.  "Harry seems very... abnormal."

Louis laughs.

Zayn smiles and motions his hand around in circles.  "No, I just mean he seems like a very all-or-nothing kind of person.  Not very... balanced shall we say."

Louis stops to think about that for a moment.  The first thing that jumps out to him is obviously Harry's sexual history; very extreme age gap, unrestrained behavior, and taste for masochism.  Then there's the fact that he will sacrifice his eating and drinking habits to fit in. 

On the other end, Harry's car is an absolute piece of junk that may also loop back to him wanting to fit in.  And then of course, the fact that Harry is incredibly intelligent from his schooling experiences, yet very sensitive to it being pointed out.

All of them obviously have reasons of their own for existing in the first place, but there's a definite trend that flashes like a spotlight in his brain now that it's been pointed out.

"Yeah, there doesn't seem to be much middle ground there."  Louis purses his lips.  "Wonder why that is."

Zayn shrugs.  "Some people are just extremists.  He's religious too, isn't he?" 

Louis sits down on the patio furniture, because this is suddenly a lot to think about.  "Yeah, his family's quite religious- or at least his mum is- but like, he doesn't act like it.  Like, at all really."

Zayn plops down on the cushion next to him.  "Maybe he's just acting out then.  Could be from the wealthy family, the religious pressure, or both."

Louis shakes his head.  "Harry's way too smart to be acting out.  He's just..."  What the hell even is Harry?  "He's just, an extremely complex person."

"He's young and he doesn't know who he is.  Obviously wasn't taught much about moderation or else he'd have a bit more modesty in the 'general life' category."  Zayn pulls out a cigarette to light.

"He knows who he is, better than most, I'd say.  Just because he's a bit of a- an extremist- as you put it, doesn't mean he doesn't know about moderation."  Louis sticks up for Harry, because really, he thinks Zayn is looking too far into it.

"Mate, he bought you a pet tarantula and over $200 worth of equipment for it."  Zayn says.

Louis says nothing, but runs his hands on the too-soft-to-be-outside lawn furniture cushion.

"The first time he smoked was at the park with us right?"  Zayn asks.

Speaking of cigarettes, Louis could go for one right now.  "Yeah, so?"  He bums one off Zayn and lights it between his lips.

"Every time he's been over since then, he's been sharing our blunts."  Zayn points out.

"So?  We smoke every single day- everyone has their vice.  Harry's only following suit in our example anyway.  Doesn't mean he doesn't know who he is or know how to moderate other things in his life."  Louis gives the lighter back to Zayn and takes a couple drags.

"When you find something he's moderate on, let me know.  I'm truly interested to find out."  Zayn ends the conversation with a blow of smoke into Louis' face.

Louis opts not to say anything back because Zayn seems pretty dead set in his beliefs on Harry.  Not that it's a bad thing.  But Louis thinks he's maybe judging a little too harshly.  Zayn doesn't even know Harry as well as he does.  No matter though.  Zayn's opinion on Harry doesn't matter much to Louis.

Well... _Too_ much.

Louis' eyes narrow as he continues thinking about and looking at Zayn, and then is confused when Zayn's eyes focus in on something behind him.  It's like watching a slide show, the way Zayn's face moves from disbelief, to surprise, to restlessness.  Louis opens his mouth to ask what the hell Zayn is gawking at because turning around would simply be too much effort in Louis' position.

His unasked question is answered when he hears a voice behind him.  "Oh, do I know Zayn alright.  In fact, why don't we _both_ go over and say hello together?" 

It's Brooke.

Louis doesn't really like people who overreact.  He doesn't much like when people are over dramatic or cause problems for the thrill of it.  This is why Louis never liked Brooke.  He figures Brooke will come over to start a row with Zayn, Louis will have to diffuse it, and then Brooke will be on her merry way.

Which way, Louis isn't sure, since he's not sure why she's here in the first place.

Only, then he hears another familiar voice. 

"Louis!  Hello!  I brought a bottle of red... didn't want to show up empty handed."  Liam sounds chipper as ever.  "Oh, and hello Zayn!"

"You know Niall?"  Zayn directs the question towards Liam.

"No, that was my doing.  I invited Liam."  Louis pats the seat between him and Zayn, and treats Brooke like she's a yellow Starburst.  "Have a seat mate."

"When did you hang with-" Zayn starts, but Louis can see when it dawns on him.  "Oh.  That's why you and Haz came back plastered yesterday."

Liam turns bright red.  "God, I still feel so badly about that.  How about free drinks next time you're there?"

"I mean we already get free drinks there anyway, so..."  Zayn trails off.

Louis must intervene.  Zayn needs his help.

"Or you could take us out and treat us to a dinner of some sort."  Louis smiles too brightly.

Liam looks like he's just been put in a shark tank.  "Right, yeah, of course.  What night are you guys free?"

"Any night is usually good for me."  Zayn shrugs.

"Actually, I just remembered."  Louis snaps his fingers.  "Haz and I have plans.  Just take Zayn for now.  Then we can all get together another time.  Do we all have each other's numbers by the way?  Liam, I don't think I gave you Zayn's."

Liam and Zayn both awkwardly fumble for their phones and exchange them with one another.  Louis is proud.  Things are going well.  Except.

Brooke snorts.  "Wow Zayn.  Like you couldn't be more of a-" 

"Brooke!  How have you been?  How has not-the-zoo been treating you?"  Louis speaks loudly over her.  "Also, how do you know Niall?"

Brooke laughs.  "Oh God.  I wish I didn't know Niall.  The only reason I'm _here_ is because Barbara dragged me along."

Louis' glad he at least has her bitching about someone other than Zayn.  He'll continue to distract until Zayn and Liam get over the awkward 14-year-old phase of introductions with each other and at least have enough time to promise to text about something later. 

Relationship fundamentals.

Louis looks around politely to make sure that Barbara isn't nearby before egging Brooke on.  Because as much as he admires Barbara, he loves Zayn more.  And Zayn needs some Liam in his life.  "Oh Barbie dragged you here did she?"

Brooke rolls her eyes.  "It's not like she ever gives me much of a choice.  I've come to accept the fact that the only time I see my sister anymore is if I come to these stupid things."

"Barbie's your sister?"  Louis says too loudly.

Zayn snaps his head over to Louis.  "Barbie's pregnant?"

"Who's Barbie?"  Liam furrows his eyebrows.

"Niall's person."  Louis supplies quickly.  He turns to Zayn to investigate further, but a thick Irish accent promptly interrupts his train of thought.  Harry is next to Niall, body language a little looser than when he left.

"What are you fools gossiping about me?"  Niall's eyes land on Liam.  "Welcome to the party mate!"

Liam stands to offer the wine out to him.  "Thank you!  Congratulations man!"  Liam pats him on the shoulder.  "Exciting times."

Niall looks to Louis, asking who the fuck he's brought into his backyard, and Louis doesn't really know what he's done to deserve the look because Liam is a nice enough guy who brings expensive red wine to backyard barbeques.

"What's exciting times?"  Harry asks.

Liam's eyes crinkle up with how big he's smiling.  "On the baby!  Exciting times mate!  My sister just got through her second trimester, and she said-"

"Louis!  You brought more friends!"  Barbara joins the group with two other beautiful girls.  "And this one brought red wine!  Much too sweet."  She claps her hands together, and Niall's looking at her like it's the first time he's ever seen her before in his life.

And wait.

Oh God.

"Barbs, you're pregnant?"  Niall asks.

The whole circle goes dead silent. 

Harry's looking at Louis, Louis' looking at Zayn who's looking at Brooke, who is looking at Niall who's still waiting for an answer from Barbara.  Liam looks like he's pissed himself, and the two girls are gaping at Barbara.

"I-I..."  Barbara stutters.  "I'm not... anymore."

Louis has never felt so useless in his whole life.

Niall blinks a few times before turning around and walking away. 

A tear escape's Barbara's eye as she speaks to Brooke.  "How- how could you?  I trusted..."  She brings a hand up to her cheek and her two friends hug her and walk her into the house.

Brooke has tears of her own in her eyes and snaps at Zayn.  "Why would you announce that to everyone?!"

She stands up and stomps away, leaving the four of them completely gaping.

Liam plops down on the sofa.  "Oh my God, that was completely my fault."

Zayn slunks his face into his hands.  "Fuck.  No that was my fault."

"How did you know that... exactly?"  Louis asks, only because he didn't think Brooke and Zayn ever talked about actual things.

"She... Shit.  I hardly even caught it when she mentioned it.  Like, she wouldn't shut up.  It was at work... I was watching you and Harry and _fuck_ \- if I would have known- I wouldn't have even said anything."  Zayn massages his temples.

Harry sits himself next to Zayn and rubs his back.  "It's okay.  You had no way of knowing.  We all say things at the wrong time, it's okay.  He would have found out eventually."

"I feel like... I feel like I should probably leave..."  Liam says.

Louis waves it off.  "Don't be ridiculous.  Let's clear everyone out then head back to ours.  I'm going to go find Niall."

They all nod and start apologizing to the party-goers and sending them on their way. 

Louis wanders off, and predictably, finds Niall sitting in his Cadillac in the garage.  Louis gets in the passenger side and shuts the door.

Niall has a drink in hand and is staring out the front windshield like he's looking into space.  "I don't want your sympathy."

Louis chuckles.  "As warm-hearted as I am, I don't give people sympathy out of pity."

"I'm not going to sit here and pour my heart out to you."  Niall clips.

"I don't want you to."  Louis says.

"Then what are you doing here?"  Niall gives Louis a steely look.

Louis shrugs.  "Just being here for you."

Niall's face softens as he sighs.  He holds out his drink to Louis.  Louis accepts it and takes a swig.  It tastes pretty close to straight alcohol, but he swallows it without cringing, then hands it back to Niall.

They're silent for probably 10 minutes.  It feels a bit like the scene in Sixteen Candles but without the awkward advances and birthday songs.  Or the high school dance.  Or the high school. 

So maybe it's a bad parallel.  The heartbreak, really, is what Louis recognizes.  He recognizes _that_ from kilometers away.

Niall finally speaks up.

"What would you do if you were me?"  Niall finishes the last of his alcohol.

"Dunno mate.  I'm gay."  Louis says with a smile.  He considers it a successful response because Niall smiles at it too.

"No shit."  Niall laughs out humorlessly. 

Louis wishes he could have a smoke right now.  Since he can't, he settles for a stick of gum instead.  "What do you want to do about it?" 

"Fuck-" Niall huffs.  "I dunno.  I'm so fucking angry I've half a brain to kick her to the street, but at the same time I wanna just hold her and let her cry.  God, _why_ didn't she just tell me?"

"Everyone's scared to lose what they love most."  Louis says it more to himself since he's sure Niall is distracted with his own thoughts.

Niall runs a hand through his hair.  "I just... I need to talk to her."  He shakes his head.

"How about you give me your product for the next week and I'll take care of clients for you?  You could use some time off."  Louis offers.  "I'm bored and crippled as fuck and need something to do."

"Nah, man.  You don't need to do that."  Niall waves off, but Louis can hear the hesitation.

"I'm upheaving all the floor boards until you tell me where you stash it."  Louis threatens good-naturedly.

Niall snorts.  "Please.  This isn't Breaking Bad.  I have a safe.  C'mere then." 

Niall opens up the car door and Louis follows.  They go downstairs and Niall presses a button behind a book on a bookshelf like they're in the fucking Wayne Manor or something.  One of the framed paintings pops an inch off the wall and when Niall swivels it out, it's hiding a large safe.  He fingerprints and enters a code and pulls out the largest bag of weed Louis has ever seen in his life.  It's probably the size of a large microwave.

"I'll email you my client list.  This should last you a week at least.  D'you have a scale?"  Niall pulls out a large duffle bag from the vault. 

Louis.  Louis may be in a bit over his head.

"Mate, do I look like I have any reason for a scale?"  Louis eyes the duffle bag.  "And is the duffle bag necessary?"

"I doubt you'd be able to walk around carrying it in your arms.  Makes it more authentic anyway, don't you think?"  Niall ponders thoughtfully as he zips up the drugs and supplies into it.

Louis nods stoically.  "Sure.  Let's just... Let me have Zayn drive up.  I'll meet you at the front."

After acknowledgement from Niall, Louis walks upstairs.  He maybe should have approved this through Zayn first.  He finds that almost everyone has dispersed from the house, and Zayn, Liam, and Harry are all chatting nicely in the entry-way parlor.

"Z, can you please go get the car?  I uh... my leg is smarting a bit, and I dunno if I can walk too much."  It sounds as dumb out loud as it does in his head.  Aside from the fact that he's an absolute shit liar.

Zayn slits his eyes at him, but it seems he doesn't want to call him out on it in front of Liam.  Harry's left eye twitches in curiosity.

Zayn leaves wordlessly, and Liam excuses himself, having already gotten the address from Zayn.

Harry and Louis stand in the parlor alone for a minute.

"Your leg hurts?"  Harry asks.

Louis stays silent.

"Did you hit it on something?"  Harry's eye twitches again.

"No."  Louis stares out the window and watches as Zayn pulls into the driveway.

Niall hauls the duffle bag into the parlor a moment later, and Harry looks at it like he's just been placed defenseless on the Death Star.  He doesn't choose to comment on it, but Louis sees his anxious curiosity ticks happen one-by-one as he moves from fiddling with the seam of his shorts to wrapping a finger around his curls.

Zayn opens the front door again and stares at the scene in front of him.  He blinks twice.

"Help me get it in the car, would you?"  Louis says cheerfully.

Zayn gives Louis a long look, and when it looks like Niall's about to call the whole thing off, Zayn steps forward and hauls it out to his car.  Harry follows him.

Niall sets a hand on Louis' shoulder.  "Thank you mate.  I don't know... thank you."

Louis gives him a hug.  "Go talk to your girl."

When Louis makes it out to the car, Zayn is white knuckling the steering wheel.  Harry is sitting in the back with the duffle bag cradled in his lap.

Zayn takes a deep breath and reverses out of the driveway.  Once they've left the neighborhood, he speaks.  "Louis."

This is not going well.

"Zayn."  Louis responds back.  In the rear view mirror, Harry looks like he's about to witness his parents fighting, as most of the color has left his face.

" _Louis_."  Zayn repeats.

Shit, Louis feels really bad, but he's going to have to pull out the big guns here.  " _Zayn_.  Remember when my parents died?"

Zayn slams the steering wheel with his hand.  "Are you _fucking_ kidding me?"

" _No_!  I'm serious.  Remember all the casseroles?"  Louis pushes.

Zayn exhales.  "Yes."

"I could have brought him a casserole, or I could have actually done something to _help_ him."  Louis says.

Harry squeaks from the back and Louis realizes he's unzipped the duffle bag and peeked inside.  There the swift zipping sound of Harry shutting the bag like he wishes he hadn't opened it in the first place.

Zayn sighs.

The rest of the car ride is silent.

~~~

 


	27. Chapter 26

A/N: Apologies... I completely messed up the chapter uploads whoops. Chapter 25 is now chapter 25. This is chapter 26, and the next one I'm posting was the one I first posted as 25 but is actually 27. Sorry for the confusion.

 

Also, I am currently writing a Larry BDSM story.  How would you feel about me posting that in the near future?

On a side note, I seem to be getting a lot of questions about the lengths of everyone's hair. So. Right now Harry has short hair (2013 look), and Louis and Zayn both have long hair and facial hair (read: they work at a zoo and are 28 year old men). Liam has his standard cut that isn't a buzz. I try to find pics as relevant to their looks as possible, but I hope this clarifies for ya'll as well ^_^

As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting :)

-Dannie

~~~

Louis, Harry, and Zayn are on the living room couch two hours later staring at Louis' laptop.

Liam had only left 20 minutes ago after several glasses of wine and great conversation. Louis may have watered his wine down a bit to prevent from getting too tipsy. Zayn and Liam hold their alcohol really well. And Harry...

Well.

"Louis, do you know how hot you looked tonight? All adult and rich, backyard barbeque posh with your quiffed hair?" Harry nuzzles his face into Louis' shoulder.

"So it's really not that bad. He's got four larger distributors who take most of it. The only people that personally pick up from him are the ones that live within 30 minutes of here. He said we don't even have to handle cash because he's requiring all virtual payments for this week. I just have to split it, and organize it, and be here for the pick-up time." Louis summarizes from the email.

"He said we can smoke anything left over." Harry states. "We can all shotgun our brains out." He giggles. "Wait..."

Zayn stays silent.

" _So_." Louis continues on. "Looks like most of it will be gone by Tuesday. After that, we'll only have a negligible amount left for the locals."

"Negligible meaning enough to land all of us in prison for 20 years." Zayn says.

"Nah, don't worry. My dad can pay bail." Harry dismisses. "Even if he doesn't, we all like it up the ass, so there's not much to worry about."

Zayn gives the duffle bag a small kick. "Louis, the shit you put me through. I swear."

"I can't think of any way to turn that into a sexual innuendo. I'm disappointed in myself." Harry says.

"Haz, just." Louis pets his face. "Hush for a mo, yeah? I need to make sure Zayn's not going to pack up and go live in a hotel for a week."

Harry zips his lips and throws away the invisible key over the back of the couch.

"No, I'm not leaving. Let's just get this off the living room floor yeah? And stick it- I dunno- under the floorboards or something." Zayn motions towards the floor.

Harry raises his hand.

"You can speak now." Louis allows.

"Are we sorting it tonight?" Harry asks.

"Well the two distributors come tomorrow, so we at least need to have theirs portioned off." Louis squints at the screen. "God, this Theo character takes like, a third of it."

Harry squeezes Louis' thigh. "Can I suck you off before we start? I'm really horny."

Zayn jolts next to him, and Louis' palms get a little sweaty. "After Haz. Zayn's here, and I... I, uh- after okay?"

Harry jumps onto the ground and unzips the duffle bag. "What's the first portion then?" He pulls out a variety of different sized baggies and the scale.

Louis sighs, and Zayn gets on the floor to help Harry out. Louis instructs form the couch and it takes about an hour to get the packages for Sunday and Monday sorted. There has been minimal hash spilled onto the carpet, and only one instance of Harry putting a handful of buds in his mouth and chewing on them.

Harry has a few tiny pricks on his fingers and giggles as he sticks them in his mouth to suck on the punctured wounds. Zayn dusts himself off outside and rearranges everything in the duffle bag.

They originally were going to stash it under the kitchen sink, but decided against it since their sink could start leaking at any given moment, given the rusty and untrusting pipes. Harry suggested cutting out the back of the couch and keeping it there, but quite frankly, that sounded like way too much work.

They end up storing it in Louis' closet.

Zayn leaves to his room and it's Louis and Harry left sitting on the bed.

"Can I suck you off now?" Harry's tongue is actually hanging out of his mouth a little. Like a Pavlovian dog.

Louis takes off his shirt and jeans and gets under the covers. "C'mere babe."

Harry strips off his initial layers of clothing and snuggles up next to Louis.

Louis takes a breath. "I really, really like you Harry."

"I really, really, _really_ like you, Louis." Harry grins.

"I... want it to be different. For you. I don't know if I'm comfortable being sexual with you whilst inebriated since you have such strong ties to past experiences with it. I just... would like to have as little association to your past partners as possible." Louis really hopes he doesn't sound like a complete ass for saying it. But it's honest, and it's truly bothering him, and he couldn't imagine _not_ telling Harry how he feels about it.

"Well at the end of the day it's a dick in my mouth, so if you really wanted to go for no association, you'd have to paint yours green or sommat." Harry says.

Louis thinks... He thinks he's going to not get offended by that statement.

"Do you understand where I'm coming from at least?" Louis tries.

"I mean, yeah. But do you see where I'm coming from?" Harry asks.

No actually. Not in the slightest. "I guess I don't." Louis replies.

Harry rolls onto his back. "It's going to be different for me and you, like we've already discussed. But like, it's also different for me with each person. And it will be different with me than it was with you and Mark. You get to make what you want out of the sexual experiences. Like, I could refuse to kiss you when we're smoking because I know you do it with Zayn, _or_ I can just realize that even though it's a similar action, it's still completely different because it's me and not Zayn. Make sense?"

Okay, he can see where Harry is headed with that thought. "Yes. _But_. It still feels different." He brushes a curl out of Harry's face.

"So you're saying we can never do sexual things after drinking? What about Thursday night?" Harry asks.

"Thursday night." Louis takes his bottom lip between his teeth. "Thursday night I was a bit drunk too. It feels different because I'm not tonight, and you... are."

"I'm not drunk." Harry says.

"But you were." Louis says dumbly.

"So because I was drunk once when you were not, and made a sexual advance on you, you're going to refuse sexual advances from me for the next 24 hours?" Harry rolls onto his side.

"No, it's not like that at all." Louis says. Quite frankly, he's just confusing himself. He should probably stop talking.

"So you're jealous." Harry makes it a statement more than a question.

What? No.

"No." Louis scoffs. Why would he even be jealous?

Harry sits up and speaks sternly. "Don't be daft. You want a claim on me that no one else has. That's why you didn't let Zayn mark me earlier. You wanted to claim me. Everyone always wants something that belongs only to them. Every man I've been with has asked to give me something I hadn't had yet. Eventually Louis, I had done and given everything. There wasn't anything left to give except for my consent- which wasn't something that I ever cared about either. If you are going to have a hard time with that, I suggest you either stick to comfort fucks with Zayn the rest of your life or date a virgin."

Louis is definitely speechless.

Harry doesn't look like he's going to take off anywhere though, so Louis keeps his mouth shut until he can think of something intelligible to say.

He stares at Harry a long time, mostly in awe. Because for as much as Louis knows, Harry really knows so much too, even for his young age. Louis really hardly knows anything.

It hits him, _really_ hits him, that Harry does know what he wants. Louis honestly has nothing to offer Harry. Not wealth, not great sex, not security, not children, not even the wisdom of life. Harry has the ability to get whatever he wants, and he's choosing to sit here and wait for Louis to realize that he's being petty over the past.

There was always a small part of Louis that has felt that he was the one in charge of being the adult in their relationship. Maybe it's the age thing. Maybe it's the fact that Louis feels like Harry _is_ still a little young and impetuous.

But Louis realizes he's absolutely, completely wrong.

Eventually he finds the right words. "I'm really sorry. That was... that was really juvenile of me to say."

"It's okay." Harry says simply.

And because Louis _has_ to know since it doesn't make much sense. "Why do you like me?"

Harry grins like the sun has just been turned into cheesecake and served to him on a golden platter. "You're really fun, we get on well, you treat me like an adult, I feel different in a good way when I'm with you, I feel happy, you teach me things, you're _so_ patient, I think you're a spectacular person, you're incredibly handsome, I look up to you a lot, you're so smart and just... I dunno. There's so many things I like _about_ you, but I really just love you for who you are."

Okay.

That's...

Did that just happen?

Okay.

"You love me?" Louis wonders if he meant it in a different way. He had to have meant it in a different way.

"Absolutely. What's not to love about you?" Harry says like he's been saying it his whole life.

And still. It's just...

Too easy.

"Like, love me like a friend, love?" Because he really doesn't understand.

Harry giggles. "It's love. I love you in all the ways. There aren't any parameters around it. There isn't a greater or lesser love, otherwise it isn't true love."

"I don't think I understand." He still doesn't.

Harry shifts to hover over the top of Louis. "I love you Louis Tomlinson. If you asked me to run through the Outback naked and barefoot, I would. If you asked me to buy you a Lamborghini, I would. If you asked me to piss on you because it turned you on, I would. If you asked me to say tongue twisters for an hour, I would. If you asked me to stay with you the rest of your life, I would. I love you and there aren't any stipulations for it."

"Why?" Is all Louis can ask.

"I already told you why." Harry kisses the tip of his nose. "You're a spectacular person. Why in the hell wouldn't I love you? You're the easiest person in the world to love."

"But. I didn't do anything." Louis says. He thinks he and Harry might be speaking different languages.

"You didn't have to do anything silly. You're a loveable person. I truly love every part about you." Harry reiterates.

It makes Louis warm inside. Pleasantly warm in the way it does when Zayn and him say it to each other, but it's warm with a zip of adrenaline through it that makes it unique to hearing it come from Harry's mouth.

But still.

"Not because I'm jealous- I'm truly curious- was it this easy with other men? Do you love many people?" Louis asks.

Harry lays down on top of Louis. "I love my parents and Gemma, but I wouldn't get kinky with them. I still have morals." Harry wiggles his eyebrows.

"That's not what I asked." Louis huffs, slightly irked that Harry isn't taking this conversation quite as seriously as he is.

"I loved one of the men- James. I'll always have a part of my heart that will love him to be honest; not really any of the others. But he's married and has kids and I hate being a homewrecker. Like I said, I still have some morals." Harry burrows his chin into Louis' chest.

"I don't understand." Louis' only getting more confused. "I guess I don't understand what you mean by love."

Harry softens his voice. "I love you like how you love Zayn. You'll always be special to me Louis. No matter where I go or what I do, I'll be thinking of you and you'll always have a part of my heart. I would act the instant you asked me to do something for you as long as it was in your best interest. I would be willing to do or be anything for you. I'm hurt when you're hurt. I'm sad when you're sad. I'm happy when you're happy. I love you."

That makes a little more sense. Louis is starting to think more coherently.

That's a lot of responsibility. Harry has just thrust a lot of responsibility into Louis' hands. Louis is now responsible for Zayn and Harry's well-being. Not that he didn't always hold himself to that standard, but it has a sense of permanence to it now. Louis now feels like a permanent burden to Zayn and Harry.

"I didn't ask for this." Louis says.

"You didn't have to. Nor will you ever have to." Harry traces the outline of Louis' face with his fingertips.

"I wish you wouldn't love me." Louis says.

"Zayn told me things. And I want you to know your existence is not a burden to me. It's a blessing honestly. If you let me love you, it would probably be one of the greatest privileges I'll ever be allowed. And even if I'm not allowed, it's still gonna happen." Harry gives Louis a quick kiss to the lips. "Because guess what?"

Louis sighs, allowing Harry to finally lighten the mood. "What?"

Harry starts singing the pre-chorus of Don't Stop Me Now about how there's no stopping him, full voice on top of Louis.

Louis lets out a guttural laugh and can't stop the infectious smile that's radiating between himself and Harry. "Is that so? There's nothing I can do to stop your love for me?"

"Nothing at all. Or shall I keep singing Queen to prove it to you?" Harry smirks and without waiting for an answer, starts into how Louis is his sunshine and his best friend.

Louis flips them so Harry is beneath him and kisses his brow bone. "Are you sure about that Harry?" Then Louis returns the favor and sings loudly to Harry, picking up the outro for Under Pressure about how love is old-fashioned and daring.

Then Harry joins in through his fit of giggles.

And then from the room across the hall, Zayn choruses in with them for the last line before the title outro. "Now shut the fuck up, I'm trying to fucking sleep!"

Harry and Louis burst into a fit of laughter again before kissing themselves to sleep.

~~~


	28. Chapter 27

  
~~~

Louis wakes up to the alarm he set because Theo is scheduled to arrive in 10 minutes.  Niall assured Louis that his distributors are very punctual.  They have businesses to run after all.

Louis peels Harry off of him regretfully.  It would be a lie to say that his respect and fondness hasn't increased tenfold for Harry since last night.  It's not that Louis didn't respect or adore Harry before.  But it's like when Louis finally let go of his fear with Jerry, he loved Jerry back more than he thought he could in the first place.  And he's let some of the fears with Harry go and decided it's okay if Harry wants to love him.

Louis doesn't quite know what that means for himself yet, though.  He purposely didn't say it last night because he wasn't sure what it would mean for Louis to say it to Harry.  Or what it would mean to Harry. 

If Louis says something, he wants to say it 100 percent assuredly.  So he's going to wait until there isn't a doubt in his mind.  And maybe Louis has to do some discovering on what love really means to him anyway.  He thought he loved Mark, but it was more an automatic reflex when Mark started saying it to him.  Then things got tangled in with sex, and Louis didn't feel like that was love really.

It's never quite sat right with Louis.  How love and sex can coexist unadulterated and paralleled in the same relationship.  Zayn is the closest he has to it, but then there's the ingredient of commitment that gets added to the formula; and though Zayn would give that to Louis if he asked, Louis would never feel right about taking that from Zayn.

Things feel different with Harry.  Unlike Zayn, he wants commitment from Harry, and he _wants_ him sexually (eventually).  So he doesn't know if that means it's love.  He wants to make sure there's a clear distinction in the two before he starts throwing phrases around.

As it were, Louis throws on some jeans and a shirt and puts on a pot of coffee.  He keeps Harry's things in the microwave for now because he doesn't know what Theo would think of a Rolex and the latest iPhone sitting idly on his countertop.  They really should start planning their schedule for the next morning so that Zayn isn't always taking responsibility for the hour at which they wake up.

Also, they're running out of toilet paper faster than normal.

So the large bag sits solo on the counter, and Louis waits.  Finally there's a knock at his door and when he answers, there's an extremely well dressed Japanese guy around his age holding a briefcase.  He bows to Louis, and Louis misses a beat before returning the formality.

"Louis Tomlinson?"  Theo asks politely.

And _God_ , this guy knows his full name and where he lives.  It was a thought that idly crossed the back of his mind, but he decided to trust Niall more than his silly fear.

But.

Louis is honestly more scared than if it were some bulky, tattooed, macho guy.  Theo could probably get Louis banished to Monte Cristo for the rest of his existence and steal all of his loved ones.  Soon Theo would marry Harry who would end up having Louis' love child, Zayn's father would die of starvation in prison, and Theo would kill of the very mere memory of Louis.  All Harry will have to remember him by is a ring made out of his skirt's decorative string.

Louis needs to get Harry a ring.  But probably not from his skirt.  Because.  Harry probably doesn't own a skirt that he knows of.  Also, Louis will not impregnate him because that's actually not really feasible, but also Louis doesn't believe in having kids without two stable parents.

So there are flaws.  Several really, but he's under a lot of pressure trying to protect himself and Harry and Zayn.  He'll smooth over the bumps later.

"Yes.  Theo?"  Louis tries to not think about stabbing Leo with a sword in front of his and Harry's teenage child.  That would also mean he'd be clean shaven, which is something he hasn't been for a while, but he assumes after 14 years the platypus venom will be drained from his system and things like shaving or falling in a body bag to the bottom of the sea won't have the potential for rendering him useless.

"Yes.  Pleasure to meet you.  Niall spoke very highly of you.  I hate to take up your time if you are busy, but I'm also happy to stay if you would not like the neighbors to see many cars coming and going."  Theo offers.

He speaks with an accent, and he probably knows like, 20 languages.  Probably has ties with the Yakuza and KGB.  Shit, why did he ever volunteer to help Niall with his shady business full of shady people? 

Louis clears his throat and opens the door a little wider.  "No, it's fine.  You can just grab the stuff and go."

Theo bows again and enters Louis' home.  Louis leads him into the kitchen and dumbly points at the counter.  "There you go." 

"May I?"  Leo holds his briefcase up to ask if he can set it on Louis' chipped plastic countertop that has a stain from years ago when Zayn got a bloody nose while eating mac and cheese.

Louis just nods.

Theo sets his leather case atop the stained counter and pulls out his own damn scale to weigh the bag.  He pulls out his phone to take a picture and make a note, and fucking Christ, it's a picture that's been taken _in Louis' house_.  There is physical evidence of a billion kilograms of illegal drugs in Louis' kitchen.  He has to move across the continent to escape this.

Louis clears his throat and Leo looks up at him.

Louis doesn't realize he had demanded his attention, but now that he has it... "Er, do you have to keep that picture?"

Theo furrows his eyebrows.  "I apologize.  I can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable.  My father likes to know and see the moment I have procured the merchandise since he does not live here.  Niall allows me to do so."

And of course it's the family fucking business.  Of course his father is probably the mother fucking oyabun of the Yakuza.  Theo is probably moments away locking his joints in some Jujutsu hold, killing him with blunt force trauma to the back of his head, then fucking off to Japan to distribute this madness.

"'S fine."  He'd rather this stay non-confrontational for as long as possible.  He holds his breath.

Theo bows again.  "I thank you for your kindness.  It will not be forgotten Tomlinson-san."

Louis stiffly returns with an almost bow that mostly just ends up giving him a double chin.  He's pretty sure it's the last thing he'll do now that he's on the family's hit list.

Theo leaves and shuts the door behind himself, because Louis is running to his room and jumps on top of Harry.

Harry wakes up with an 'oomph' and Louis' kissing him before he can say anything.  When Louis pulls up for air, he mumbles against Harry's skin as he gives him a half dozen tiny kisses.  "Do you own a skirt?"

Harry laughs.  "Maybe.  Why?"

Louis pulls away and straddles Harry.  "Have you read the Count of Monte Cristo?"

Harry laughs again and looks Louis up and down.  "Obviously."

"You won't ever forget me, will you?"  Louis plants his hands to the side of Harry's head.

"You already know the answer to that."  Harry leans up to kiss Louis.  "Does this mean my new nickname is going to be Mercedes?  And shall I call you Edmond?"

Louis shakes his head fervently.  "Louis.  Remember me as Louis."

Harry chuckles like he doesn't think Louis is about to be filleted and shipped to 12 different countries.  "I'll remember you no matter what."

Louis just kind of deflates at that.  He lets his weight sink onto Harry and lets his head rest alongside Harry's.  The adrenaline kick is slowing down and jeez, he forgot how much that increases too because of the damn venom.

"Good."  Louis breathes into Harry's ear.

"Any reason you've come bombarding me with great French literature so early in the morning?"  Harry cranes his head to give Louis a kiss on the ear.

"Just don't want you to forget me."  Louis whispers.

"I love you.  I won't forget.  I promise."  Harry hugs Louis, and Louis feels loved.

It's another hour of sappy cuddling until they part long enough to shower and get ready.  Shaving is luckily incident-free, and all the facial hair has been wiped from his face. 

While Harry's in the shower, Louis sets a reminder in his phone to call the hospital since he still hasn't received his first bill.  He'll be damned if he gets charged for late fees that he didn't even know about.

Alarm for tomorrow set, Louis sneaks off to Zayn's room and pulls out some outfits that he believes would be within the strictures that Harry suggested.  He takes pictures of them, and sends them to Zayn.

**Which one? Dinner with Harry's fam. Have to look young, educated, semi-rich, smart. Not gay :(**

Louis digs through Zayn's underwear drawer too, because if he's doing a Zayn outfit, he's doing it right.  Zayn's young, hipster fashion sense comes in handy for some things.  Zayn's response lights up the screen.

**White button up, charcoal jeans. Wear a white belt with my black dress shoes. Also, you NEED a blazer or cardigan.**

Louis squints at the screen.  He doesn't know a lot, but he thinks he's heard that belts are supposed to match shoes.

**Isn't my belt color supposed to match my shoe color? Also, why a blazer/cardi? And why dress shoes..? Its just dinner.**

Louis tosses his phone on the bed and decides on an electric blue pair of underwear.  Then starts assembling Zayn's suggested outfit.  He's shuffling through Zayn's blazers and cardigans when his phone vibrates again, and he reads the text.

**Trust me you ungrateful cunt. Posh people break all the rules. Roll the jeans up above your ankles so it looks like they fit better (wear my short black socks). Don't tuck your shirt in, leave top 2 buttons undone. Wear my navy blue cardi because it's WINTER and preppy, button all those EXCEPT the bottom one. In my bathroom use my caffeinated moisturizer under your eyelids (blue tube) and the normal moisturizer everywhere else (white tube). Purple deodorant, blue cologne. If you have time, watch this tutorial on plucking eyebrows but don't overdo it since we're men: https://goo.gl/zslp3n**

**Shoes are a status thing. Look at the shoes you own, and look at the shoes I own. Then look at Harry's shoes.**

**Rethink your life. Rethink your trust in me.**

Louis just kind of blanks out as he stares at his phone screen.  He does as Zayn says with no idea why the fuck what buttons he does or doesn't do up matter and why the hell caffeine is added to moisturizer.  Also, what's wrong with his eyebrows?

Furthermore, there's nothing wrong with his pair of Puma's that he's owned for six years. 

15 minutes later, he's watched the tutorial, plucked his eyebrows (hurt like a mother fucker), moisturized his face, and managed to find the god damn mousse again to make his hair fluffy and fringy.

He looks in the mirror, and _fuck_.

He looks like he belongs in a boy band honestly.

He definitely does _not_ look 29 years old.  Not that he's incredibly vain, but, he thinks he could probably pass for 21.

Maybe 22, but still.

He takes a picture in Zayn's full length mirror and sends it along with **I love you so fucking much.**

Louis' putting away the rest of the rejected clothes when Harry walks in.  "Lou, did you- fucking _hell_."

Louis swivels around so quickly, he drops a shirt from its hanger.  "You okay?"  He furrows his eyebrows.

Harry has caked on make-up to cover the hickies on his neck.  He doesn't seem to be in any pain.  He's mostly just standing there in the doorway looking sexually frustrated.  " _Fucking_ hell _Louis_.  Fuck."

Louis pulls at his collar.  "Sorry, Zayn was-"

He would have explained Zayn's directions, but he's on the bed and Harry has a hand in his hair, lips on his mouth, and a hand on his crotch, and well, that's the end of that conversation.

And the crotch grabbing, well, it feels really good.  Really good compared to what he just put himself through with the tweezers.  And honestly, it's been weeks since the incident now, there's no way Louis' going to pass out after an orgasm.  The other night didn't count because there was alcohol involved.

So when Harry starts undoing the belt that took Louis five minutes to clasp properly, Louis stands up and helps him along with it and it's not long before Zayn's charcoal pants and electric blue underwear are at his ankles and Harry has him in his mouth.

Louis collapses onto the bed because, holy fuck, it's actually been years since he's received oral sex from someone.  And fuck, Harry just... _fuck_.

There's probably more lie than truth in his earlier statement about passing out.  The odds are looking about 65 percent not in his consciousness' favor because Harry's started moaning and is doing things with his hands and there's _so_ much sensation that Louis has to close his eyes so he doesn't float off into the clouds.

It doesn't take long at all honestly.  Maybe it was the emotional night, maybe the sappy morning, but the stirring feeling that's been mixing around Louis' body has been fully brewed into a great concoction of looking extremely young and fuckable, and currently being fucked by the extremely young. 

In not a creepy way, of course.  Harry's curls and dimples just emulate the vitality of youth is all. 

It's only a 10-year age difference anyway.  When Louis is 60 and Harry is 50 nobody will give a shit.  So Harry's not actually extremely young.

All those thoughts are mostly muddled and half thought out though because his orgasm hits him like a wave with the weight of the entire Great Barrier Reef behind it.  He instinctively grabs Harry's curls and groans out loudly as the fire and ice whip through Louis' body.

The sensation keeps going and going and Louis' starting to see blue spots behind his eyelids, and that's when he realizes he should make an effort to better oxygenate his body, elsewise he's going to have a nice afternoon nap.

Louis' eyes snap open and Harry's fuzzy face slowly comes into focus.  His face is completely flushed and his lips are obscenely moist.  Louis grabs him to snog him fiercely for the next five minutes until he finally feels grounded enough to stand up again.

When he finally gets the clothes put back together, and has confidence that he can stay standing on his own, he cocks his head at Harry.  "So I take it this is the look you were going for?"

Harry blushes and nods so harshly that if he were a bobble head, the spring would most definitely have broken.

"Good then.  So what do you think?"  Louis motions to his body.  "22 or 23?"

Harry clears his throat.  "Well I'm not saying you couldn't pass for 22, because I honestly think you could, but-" Harry holds up a hand, "I think 23 would make more sense for you being as _adult_ as you are... You know, the degree and the zoo curator and the Platitat manager things."

Louis nods in consideration.  "Good thinking Hazzy.  Shall we go then?"

"Yes!"  Harry chirps and yanks Louis' through the house by his hand. 

Louis laughs at his enthusiasm.  They stop to put on their shoes before they leave and Louis scours Zayn's shelves and piles of shoes for the black ones he's supposed to be wearing.  He knows them when he sees them because they look absurdly ostentatious.

The more Louis thinks about it though, anything other than flashy shoes would just mess up the whole outfit.  He thinks he's starting to understand this. 

Harry is sitting on the bench and putting on his work shoes to complete his look of 'I just got off work.'  Louis takes note of the shoes. 

He pretends like he didn't read the sole of Harry's shoe because then that would mean Harry wears _fucking_ _Lanvin_ trainers while running around tromping through platypus shit all day. 

Not that Louis is the kind to spend hours online looking through foreign websites for their designer apparel (that's definitely Zayn's specialty), but he's walked through department stores and seen some of the price tags there before.

He's a little frustrated by the whole ordeal because why do people like Zayn and Harry, who are perfectly wonderful people, care so much about the name and price tag of what they wear?  In Louis' opinion, it's completely prideful and egotistical.  Why spend a bunch of money just to try and fit in with the rest of the world?  Especially when one could spend money on much more useful things... like cigarettes and weed.

But he knows the topic of money, as well as fitting in, are two things that Harry is sensitive to, so Louis doesn't think he'll bring it up quite yet.

Except then Harry asks a thing.

"Do you mind if I get some clothes really quick before we head out?"  Harry asks.

Harry is, as far as Louis can tell, fully dressed.  "Like, you don't want to just wait until you get home to change?"  Well, of course not, he's probably uncomfortable in his work uniform.  "Do you want to borrow some of Zayn's nicer clothes?"

"I meant like... stop by a store.  I'll be really quick, I swear."  Harry stands up to pocket his wallet, keys, and Lidocaine from the fridge.

"You want to buy new clothes for your family's Sunday dinner?"  Louis asks.

Harry tugs at a curl.  "They uh, they think I've been with Gemma, so I don't actually have any of my nice dress clothes with me since I used my extra pair last time I came home from yours, which my mom always wants me wearing when I'm out and about so-"

"Wait sorry-" Louis interrupts.  "Your mom doesn't let you go out into public unless you're dressed to the nines?"

"Yeah."  Harry says.

"So you're saying if you come home in work clothes, she'll think you've been living in those?"  Louis asks.

"Yeah."  Harry bites at his lip.

"And Zayn's aren't nice enough to pass as your clothes?"  Louis asks.

"My mum would know."  Harry shrugs.

Well fuck it then.

"Alright.  Yeah, that's fine."  Louis decides.  Not that he thinks he actually had any sway in the matter whatsoever.  So he just opens the side door for Harry.

"Aren't you going to grab your keys?"  Harry looks Louis up and down.

"I figured we were taking yours since it's a longer drive- not that it's about gas or anything- just like, my insurance won't cover you getting pulled over driving my car."  Louis waves off.  Insurance is the bane of his existence.

"We could risk it.  It's only an hour away.  I'll pay for a ticket if you get one- and, I can pay to have it removed off your record."  Harry says too quickly.

Louis blinks at Harry a couple times.

"Sure."  Louis finally says, not wanting to further stress Harry.  He grabs his keys and hands them to Harry.

They get in Louis' Subaru in silence and Louis really wants to say a lot of things, but he's not sure where Harry's at mentally.  He's gone from chewing on his lip to squeezing the steering wheel to fraying the hem of one of the pockets on his shorts.  Louis eventually has to pop in a piece of gum because of the anxiety radiating from Harry.

"What has you so worked up?"  Louis crumples up the gum wrapper and places it into his garbage baggie.

Harry actually gasps out and it makes Louis snap his head over to look at him.  Harry's mouth is parted slightly and his fists are trembling on the steering wheel.  "You... you're going to hate my family."

Louis instantly reaches out and rubs a hand across Harry's thigh.  "Hey, I'm sure I'll love them.  I already think Gemma is lovely.  I think you're lovely.  And I have tremendous respect for both your parents.  Everything will be just fine."

Harry pulls into the parking lot of a David Jones, and Louis really tries not to ask something that may be judgmental. 

Harry pulls into a parking spot and shifts into park before giving the steering wheel a light smack.  "You don't even know the half of it Louis.  You- you... I can tell how uncomfortable you are with things and you just..."

Louis furrows his eyebrows.  "Haz, I'm fine.  I'm completely comfortable with you.  I want to know more about you and meet your family."

Harry shakes his head and leans his forehead down onto the steering wheel. 

"Haz, talk to me.  What's going on?"  Louis rubs the back of Harry's neck.

Harry takes a couple breaths to even out his breathing.  "I _heard_ you mutter 'Lanvin' under your breath back at the house.  How are you going to feel when we go into the store in a minute and I spend over a thousand dollars on new clothes for my family dinner?  How are you going to feel when we pull up into my parent's driveway into their massive house?  How are you going to feel when my mum takes every opportunity possible to reiterate how wealthy they are?  She didn't used to be how she is now... money has changed her _so_ much."  Harry squeezes the steering wheel.  "You're going to hate it Louis.  You're going to think less of me because you think it's ridiculous."

Louis tries to keep his jaw from dropping because _a thousand dollars_.  That's like, maybe a fifth of Louis' monthly income. 

Apparently he is also more transparent than he thought.  He never meant to make Harry feel that way, nor did he mean to vocalize his internal thoughts.

Louis takes a moment to compose his thoughts before speaking.  "I will think neither less nor more of you for your family's financial situation.  Me being... _uncomfortable_... with the lifestyle only means I'm ignorant.  I have a lot to learn from you and your family, and I truly want to see things more from your and your parent's perspective to understand you better."

Because if Louis is being fair, he really can't keep all the preconceived notions and judgments in his mind if he hasn't even given it a chance.

"I'm really sorry about the Lanvin comment... just... be patient with me, yeah?  Like... I'm still learning about you too, you know?  Just like you are with me.  So, I promise to not be judgey."  Louis adds as a reflection of one of their conversations back when they were getting to know each other at the Platitat.  "And if I ask questions, it will be simply out of curiosity.  Is that fair?"

Harry nods into the steering wheel.

Louis picks up his hand and places a kiss on the top of it.  Harry looks at him. 

"Come on then love.  Teach me the way of your people."  Louis offers him a big grin.

Harry's eyes crinkle into a smile.  "Shut up."

Louis leans in for a kiss to the cheek and Harry turns his face to kiss Louis on the lips.  Louis tries to stop smiling into the kiss because there's mostly taut lips and teeth, but Harry seems to be struggling with the same thing.  So rather, they end up giggling lip to lip.

Louis loves it.

~~~


	29. Chapter 28

~~~

As promised, Harry spent just over a thousand dollars on what Louis really couldn't distinguish from 'designer' or 'generic' if he were to pass the same clothes on the street.

No matter though, it was a humorous and educational experience. Louis made sure to be inquisitive, and Harry made sure to give him some in's on how to buy fancy ass clothes. In the end, Louis was pleased when Harry went with the button-up adorned in little brown starbursts that reminded them of Queen Ghoma.

Also as promised, Louis feels like he's just pulled into the Buckingham Palace that Harry calls his home.

It's large.

Harry pulls Louis' Outback up to the pinnacle of the circle driveway and tosses the keys to one of the chauffeurs.

Harry has chauffeurs. Or butlers. Louis doesn't actually know what this guy would classify as.

He doesn't ask.

Harry gives the man a wide smile. "Thanks Vince!"

Vince bows. "Master Styles."

Jesus.

Louis is glad Zayn made him go with a blazer.

The steps up to the front door are starting to feel an awful lot like The Green Mile, and Louis plasters his 'presentation face' on in preparation for what lies behind the giant cherry oak front door.

Harry has a handle on the door, but looks around them, then pulls Louis in for a deep French kiss.

And Louis hasn't ever had a porch kiss before. Even though this one is before dinner, the sentiment makes him feel frothy on the inside.

Harry pulls away and licks his lips and Louis just wants to go back into his car and snog Harry in the backseat for the next hour because that sounds wonderful.

Harry unwraps his hand from Louis' waist, then pushes the door open and Louis tries not to take everything in all at once.

Even if he tried, he could definitely not do it. The inside of Harry's house looks like a French mansion. All the décor boasts a timely French Provincial style that Louis picks out only because of the novels he's read with immaculate architectural descriptions.

There are foyers to the left and the right. Filled with a harp and two pianos and paintings that Louis assumes are either by French painters, or simply landscapes and homes from France. All the floors are wooden and the ceiling is vaulted sky high, showing off part of the top story of the house that is accessible by double entry ballroom staircases.

He realizes Harry is staring at him.

"It's really." That's mostly where the sentence ends because out of all the words Louis knows, none of them really can convey his thoughts.

"Really what?" Harry asks.

Louis tears his gaze away from the rustic browns and golds to look into Harry's viridescent eyes. He wishes he could be holding Harry's hand. "Overwhelming." It's the best he can come up with.

Harry smirks at him. "Just act like you belong here."

If Louis really were to do that, he would portray a purely priggish attitude towards everything, and that's not really what he wants. So instead, he takes it with a grain of salt and decides to focus on feeling like it's a second home or something of a long lost uncle.

He rolls his shoulders a few times, feeling the stiff collar rub against the back of his neck. "Right. I _do_ belong here." Louis says with a faux regal voice and smile.

Harry scrunches his nose at Louis and nudges his shoulder. Louis follows behind as Harry leads the way into a parlor where Gemma sits with an attractive man and an older woman.

Louis tries not to stare at the handsome gentleman who Louis assumes to be a boyfriend of Gemma, and instead gives a big smile to the woman who is unmistakably Harry's mother. Beautiful and sharp features and looks much too young to be the age Louis assumes she would be.

Gemma jumps off the couch and glides over to Harry and Louis. "Haz!" She embraces her brother and gives him a kiss to the cheek, then releases him to hold a hand out to Louis. "Pleasure to see you again Louis."

Louis lifts his eyebrows and returns the formality. "Good to see you again Gemma." He can still feel the energetic vibe from Gemma from when he met her at the zoo, but he can feel the light layer of conventionalism that coats over it too.

Harry embraces his mother with a hello and walks her over to Louis. "Mum, this is Louis. Louis, this is my mother, Anne."

Louis' heart beats a little faster and he wishes he would have decided to have a ciggie before coming in, or at least some earlier today to help curb the anxiety. Why did he end up with a habit that left a scent trail?

"Mrs. Styles, thank you so much for welcoming me into your beautiful home." Louis really doesn't want to try for anything more elegant than that for fear of trying too hard. Louis is a simple man anyway. It's best to be authentic he thinks.

Anne holds out a delicate hand for Louis to shake. "Thank you for accepting the extended invitation."

Louis smiles and nods as he releases her hand.

"Oh! Louis, this is Cooper, my boyfriend." Gemma nudges Cooper towards Louis.

Cooper's razor black hair and bright blue eyes are completely disarming and honestly, he looks like he's around Louis' actual age. "Hi Louis. Heard lots about you." Cooper gives him a stark ivory grin.

"Good to meet you." Louis smiles back with his lips concealing his teeth that are definitely not anywhere near Cooper's shade of white. He wonders how much Cooper knows about him.

Anne motions a hand towards the sofas. "Please sit and chat with us. We're just waiting on Desmond. Vince should be out shortly with tea."

Louis swallows and follows Harry, making sure not to sit too close to him.

Anne crosses her ankles and sits up straight on the edge of the sofa. "So Louis. Tell us a little bit about yourself."

Jeez, this is more pressure than Louis has ever felt at the zoo. Everyone is staring at him, and he feels like he might need to half yell because of how large the room is and the sofas aren't exactly clustered together.

He clears his throat. "Well, I work at the Taronga Zoo and I manage the platypus habitat- as I'm sure you've heard from Harry."

A smile or laugh from anyone would have been nice, but apparently he is not graced with enough natural humor to elicit such reactions from his current crowd.

Anne does look amused though. Louis can't decipher if it's with condescending intent or not. He decides to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"What is it that made you decide to work at a zoo?" She gives him a thin smile.

"Well, I started out by volunteering there at 14, and by the time I turned 18 I had fallen in love with the platypuses so much that I couldn't imagine doing anything different and decided to stay on with the crew there. So it's been... nine years now. It's practically my second home." Louis says, remembering that he's supposed to be 23. He channels his 23-year-old self, remembering the life experiences he had up until that point.

"14 hm?" Anne cocks her head like she's posing for a portrait. "That's quite a feat. How did you manage so young? We had to open our pockets quite wide to get Harry on as an intern."

Louis' eye twitches slightly at Anne's words. It's really not his place to make any kind of comment on how Harry got the position or not, but the feels the need to defend Harry regardless.

He pushes it to the side though and focuses on answering the question.

He is a big believer in 'honesty is the best policy', but he also believes in giving people simply what they ask for; which means no elaboration is needed in circumstances such as these. "Had some wild younger days and ended up with some community service to work off." He says lightly. "You know, the cavaliered days of youth."

Anne just hums at Louis.

This is definitely an awkward silence, and Louis isn't really sure where he went wrong or if there was anything he could have done to prevent it in the first place. He feels like Jerry in his younger days when Louis was always trying to herd and corner him onto the scale. Except, Jerry was much better at running away from being backed into a corner. Louis figures he just metaphorically stepped right onto the scale for Anne.

Great.

Vince brings out tea for everyone and Harry is the only one who thanks him.

Harry saves Louis from himself. "Yeah mum, he's graduated with a degree in Zoology. He was actually the zoo curator for three months and then decided to go back to the Platitat because he loves it so much there. He spent some time traveling the world too."

Louis tries not to dwell on the fact that Harry is trying to sell him to his mom with his achievements.

"Oh?" This seems to have piqued an interest in Anne. "Do tell us more."

"Well, I mean, being the curator was great and all, it just wasn't really my scene. I'd rather not be off at conferences and behind a desk all day managing other curators. I'd rather manage interns and platypuses." Louis says confidently.

Anne blinks long, spidery lashes at him.

Gemma speaks up this time. "Harry said you traveled?"

"Yes." Louis picks up his tea to blow on it. "South Africa, Canada, Italy, and the U.A.E."

Harry is looking at him intently, and Louis realizes he hasn't actually had this conversation with Harry yet.

"Where in the U.A.E.? I've done a bit of traveling there myself for business." Cooper says.

"Dubai mainly." Louis takes a sip of the tea that's still on the side of too-hot. "Just wanted to experience a bit of the culture. Same with the other countries. I just found them fascinating." Also, he has read fantastic novels that take place in said countries which is part of the intrigue that drew him there in the first place.

"He knows Italian and German." Harry says, and Louis wishes Harry would stop. He appreciates it, but it makes Louis feel like he's failing terribly on his own.

"What use does a zoo manager have for Italian and German?" Anne asks with a straight face.

Louis doesn't often get angry. There have been a couple of times. He could probably count them on one hand.

Beforehand, there's always a metaphorical gate that opens and welcome him to feel anger. There have been more than a couple times that Louis has politely declined and kept it together.

The gates are currently open and welcoming him again.

Louis doesn't want to flip out, but he's been rubbed in such a way to where declining won't satiate him either.

He tries to keep his voice unaggressive. "I'm actually rather passionate about reading, which is what spurred my desire to learn foreign languages. I taught myself Italian at 16 years old so that I could read the works of Petrarch and Dante when I found they were the ones whom Shakespeare received inspiration from. I discovered along the way that Freud drew many of his theories from Shakespeare's works, so I've recently completed my course in German because it's been a lifelong ambition of mine to read The Five Lectures on Psycho-Analysis in its unadultered state as Freud intended for it to be read."

Fuck her.

Anne looks like she's tasted something sour and Harry looks like he's just eaten cheesecake. Gemma and Cooper exchange an awkward glance.

The front door opens again and another attractive man walks into the parlor.

"Hello family! And Louis! Such a pleasure to finally meet you!" The man walks up to Louis.

Louis stands to take his hand in a firm handshake.

Harry stands up next to him. "Lou, this is my dad, Desmond."

"It's a pleasure Mr. Styles." Louis thinks Desmond is definitely a breath of fresh air after Anne.

Desmond laughs. "Please. Call me Desmond. I'm not _that_ old."

Louis laughs like it doesn't make him uncomfortable thinking about how much older Harry's dad is than him, which doesn't appear to be too much. There's no way he's older than 50. Louis feels a bit like it's similar to what he'll look like in 10 more years. He tries to crunch numbers and add in the information he knows about Harry. Nothing is really computing, but there's a bit of an inconsistency here.

"Who's ready for dinner? I've had quite the busy day full of paper pushing and schmoozing and in need of a large glass of wine." Desmond announces.

"Desmond, is that really necessary?" Anne greets her husband with a kiss to the cheek.

"Of course it is dear. We have a special guest and will bar no restraints." Desmond gives Gemma and Cooper a hug.

Cooper chuckles lightly. "I thought you said you did your fill of schmoozing for the day?"

Desmond laughs heartily and gives him a pat on the back. "Son, you are definitely built for sales. My company never made a better hire."

There's a look on Harry's face and there's a feeling in Louis' chest that makes Louis wish he were back to being grilled by Anne instead.

Desmond and Cooper chat back and forth for a minute while they all move into the dining room. The table is set up like it's some sort of charity event gathering. Harry has Louis sit right next to him, which Louis is grateful for.

The dinner goes much easier than the pre-dinner conversation. Desmond asks Louis lots of things about himself and Louis asks him about the company of which he is CEO. Cooper seems to have a bit of a tendency to cut into the conversation when it starts leaning towards business. Louis can't decide if Cooper is feeling jealous, or just trying to contribute to the conversation.

Anne stays silent, and Harry spends the entirety of dinner grinning at Louis. Gemma seems to be looking from Louis to Anne, then occasionally Harry in concern. Louis tries not to be bothered by it.

Everything is going swell Louis thinks. He hasn't even said 'God' out of proper context.

Then the conversation moves more towards music when dessert is being served.

"So then tell me Louis, I've a hunch that you have a classic taste in music." Desmond says animatedly.

Louis swallows the cold ice cream in his mouth before answering with a dismissive hand gesture. "Oh, I dunno about that, but I definitely have a strong preference for oldies. Steve Miller Band and Queen are some of my absolute favorites."

Desmond puts his spoon down in appreciation. "See?" He directs the question towards Anne, then turns back to Louis. "I knew culturing Harry at a young age would lead him to naturally draw more artistically appreciative people into his life! Ever since we took him to that Queen concert when he was four, he's been singing about riding bicycles long before the other kids knew what it even meant."

Louis laughs loudly. "Oh my goodness, that is the best!" Louis nudges Harry who is bright red. "Was it the Tribute Band that came to Sydney years ago?"

"Yes, yes. The Gillette Stadium it was. We had box seats, and all Harry kept begging me to do was go down to the front row!" Desmond hoots and points in front of him like the stadium is on his plate.

"No way! My mate and I were at that show! It was our first concert together- we were thrilled because we scalped front row tickets last minute off of some guy. His mum was pissed when she found out she dropped us without entry tickets. So glad we made it in though- I've never been the same since honestly. It was life changing." Louis holds a hand to his heart and laughs and Harry's laughing too.

He likes Desmond a lot.

The laughter dies down and Cooper and Anne are giving him an odd look.

"It was your mate's mother that dropped you off for the concert?" Anne asks.

"Yeah. Zayn, the one I mentioned earlier. My roomie." Louis says and take another bite of dessert.

Anne's face contorts into a sick smile. "And how did Zayn's mom feel about dropping off two eight-year-olds to a concert all by themselves?"

Fucking shit.

Louis tells himself not to panic, because nothing productive ever happens when panicking is involved. He can think of a lie. Something good; and in English. He just needs to clear his head and calm the blood running through his veins that feels the same temperature as the ice cream he's just swallowed.

Except nothing comes to him. So he sits there, lie-less and exposed.

Harry seems to have come up with something useful though, as he speaks up. "Louis' parents died when he was eight."

 _God_ , completely _not_ something Louis would have ever said, but he guesses that's one way to go about changing topics.

The mood of the dinner table completely shifts and Louis wonders if Anne is going to probe further.

Gemma decides to break the silence. "That's terrible Louis. Sorry you had to go through that."

Louis shrugs.

Nobody really knows what to say after that.

Desmond clears his throat when no one else makes a move to speak and tries to change the subject. "Well Louis, has Harry let you take his Benny for a spin yet?"

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "Sorry?"

Harry goes a little stiff next to him. "Benny. It's what they call my car."

"Oh." Odd route of conversation, but sure. If it takes the attention away from the lies of Louis' life, he'll take it. "I mean I haven't really driven it. We mostly take my car places. But it's a good car. I actually had a Civic as my first car."

Harry coughs loudly and Louis turns to see if he's okay.

Harry waves his hands out to let Louis know he's fine. "Yeah, we laughed about it when we found out both of our first cars were named Benny. Ironic, innit?" Harry laughs.

Louis' first car was definitely not named Benny.

Gemma looks mortified and jumps in. "Louis, didn't you say you've been poisoned by a platypus before?"

Louis feels like he's being thrown around by waves then dragged back down helplessly by the undercurrent with how quickly the conversation is changing.

"Ehrm, yeah. Twice now actually. I'm still on break from work because of the most recent incident that ended with me in the hospital." Louis says.

Desmond cocks his head towards Harry. "Why didn't you tell me Louis was the one you had me call for?"

It's Harry's turn to look mortified, and Louis is truly completely confused. "Dad, he-"

"I could have written it off as a business charity since Louis is associated with the zoo." Desmond scolds. "Regardless though, Louis, I was happy to do it. Just, business you know? Cooper understands." Desmond nods to Cooper.

Cooper nods wide-eyed, apparently as confused by the conversation as Louis is.

Louis still doesn't have an answer, but he thinks he has an idea, so he'll just chance it and fly blind with a quick expression of gratitude. Because regardless of what it was, it sounds like Desmond did Louis a favor of some sort. "Yes, thank you Desmond. How very rude of me to not thank you for your efforts before now. I really appreciate it."

Desmond waves him off. "It's hardly worth thanking me for. I just couldn't figure out what kind of hospital bills were somewhere between a broken bone and open heart surgery and Harry wouldn't tell me. But _platypus_ venom! That makes more sense. I heard it's third most poisonous substance to humans as far as naturally occurring ones go."

Louis glances down at the golden tablecloth, because he thinks this means Harry's dad paid for all of his medical bills.

He has a few things to address with Harry later.

"Louis, I'd love to show you my latest automotive acquisition. Fancy accompanying me to the garage?" Desmond proposes.

Louis nods stiffly.

Desmond and Louis leave the rest of the family in the dining room, and Desmond leads him out to the garages. It's filled with designer cars that cost more than Louis' life, and Louis feels like Desmond didn't bring him out here to show them off to him.

He swallows.

"Louis?" Desmond's tone is sterner than Louis' heard it all night.

"Yes sir?" Louis finds the concrete flooring very interesting.

"I think it's safe to say that as much as Harry's told both you and me, there are still things he's keeping from both of us." Desmond says.

Louis bites his tongue.

"But I'm disappointed that you would come into my house and lie to me." Desmond says.

Louis chances a look up to his eyes. Desmond's face definitely reflects his tone, and Louis isn't quite sure what he should or shouldn't say. He settles with subtly asking for elaboration. "Sir?"

Desmond sighs. "Why did you lie about your age Louis?"

"Um." Again, Louis tries to quickly piece together what he can and can't say to Harry's dad about the situation. "Harry asked me to." Is what he finally says.

"How old are you?" Desmond asks, face softening a little.

"29 sir." Louis wishes one of the cars would spontaneously turn on and run him over. It could be Christine part two, but with a beneficial ending to Louis.

Desmond lets the silence sit for a minute, and Louis thinks he can hear a spider spinning its web somewhere off in the distance.

"I think you're a good lad Louis." Desmond says.

"Thank you." Louis naturally wants to compliment Desmond back on his opinion of him being a great father to Harry, but he decides minimum verbiage is probably the best course of action here.

"Did you know there is make-up rubbing off on the collar of a shirt that I have never seen before?" Desmond asks rhetorically.

"He told me he likes shopping." Which is stupid. Harry's never said that, and Louis sounds like a twat now. Plus, he blatantly ignored the make-up comment. Louis should really never attempt to lie again for the rest of his life.

Desmond hums. "Let me put you out of your misery." Louis is scared but grateful for where this might be headed.

Desmond clasps his hands together in front of his body. "I follow Gemma on Twitter. I'm aware of when her whereabouts don't match up with Harry's. Cooper also struggles to keep up in remembering when Harry is at her house or not, which he's never done before seeing as he is acutely aware of the time he gets to be alone with Gemma- _which_ \- is a conversation I need to have with my daughter and not you. But I can only assume he has been staying nights at your home- which I further assume is when the make-up became necessary. That also leads me to believe that he has had to buy clothes because he ran out of spares in his storage unit. Then at the table, there was the comment about Harry's car. All of this confirms the other nagging suspicion I've had for months now that Harry's been keeping his car in the storage unit and driving a different one into town."

Louis. Louis doesn't know what to say.

He waits for his heart rate to die down a bit before attempting to say anything. "You are very astute sir."

"I didn't become wealthy because I'm ignorant." Desmond says.

Right.

Louis is going to go back to not saying anything.

Desmond laughs and slaps Louis on the shoulder. "Lighten up! That was supposed to be funny. Jesus, if my looks are on their way out and my humor is already gone, I'm not sure I'll have much left!"

Louis snorts. "I don't think you have to worry about either anytime soon."

Oh shit.

Fuck.

 _Fuck_.

Louis' eyes bulge out of their sockets. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

Desmond laughs harder. "Fuck lad, I see why Harry is so fond of you!" He pats a hand against Louis' shoulder, then folds his arms. "Don't even stress it. I've had to woo many a gay man to get papers signed. I've accepted much cruder compliments."

Louis truly does not know how to feel about Harry's dad. He is eternally confused.

Louis mostly doesn't want to leave any kind of impression of being a sleaze- not that he thinks Desmond is- just, he wants to make sure Desmond doesn't think Louis is like that.

"Sir, um..." Louis starts.

"Desmond, please. No need to get formal on me now." Desmond waves off.

"Right, sorry. Um..." Louis starts again. "I just want to let you know that Harry means a lot to me. I'm not like, using him or anything. Nor am I perverted. I swear I would never touch him if he asked me not to. And he's the only one-"

Louis exasperatedly runs a hand through his hair, because, _Zayn_. "Sorry that's not true. Um, Harry's not the only one, but he knows that. And same with me for him. Anyway, I just want you to know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt your son. I care very deeply for him."

This is probably the last time Louis will see any portion of the Styles' household.

Desmond folds his arms and nods more seriously. "Your candor is appreciated. Like I said, you're a good lad, Louis. But please know that as long as he is my son and carries my surname, he is expected to look and act a certain way in public. People know who he is from here to Istanbul and back around the other way. Though the time he spent with my company was short, a C.E.O.'s son is not a face that the employees of my company and affiliates are quick to forget."

Louis nods and files that away with the comment made earlier about Cooper being the best hire the company has ever made.

"I'll let you go then. Thank you for chatting with me. You are welcome here any time, but I would not like to witness any part of your physical relationship with my son. Though I accept who he is, I have enough of that to fill a lifetime. I will not hesitate to react in the same way as the first time." Then Desmond tacks on as an afterthought. "Same as I would do for Gemma and Cooper. Not to mention Anne would have a heyday."

"I understand. Thank you very much." Louis says. He doesn't think he would ever feel loose enough to do something as simple as hold Harry's hand within a 10 kilometer radius of his house after tonight.

Desmond leads him back in without another word, and when they enter the parlor again, Louis takes a seat next to Harry.

"Which was your favorite Louis?" Cooper scoots out to the edge of the couch and leans towards Louis.

"Sorry?" Louis squints his eyebrows.

"In the garage? Mine personally is the Aston. She's a beauty."

"One in a million girls." Louis grins and Desmond and Cooper laugh heartily and Harry just looks confused. "Ehrm, yeah, she was my favorite too. Can't go wrong with the classic Bond car."

Cooper starts rattling off things about cars and Louis thinks he's starting to understand the dynamic a little better. Cooper seems to be the son Desmond doesn't have; so consequently is trying to figure out if Louis is competition for stealing that spot or not. He's business oriented and interested in more traditional 'manly' hobbies. Desmond treats Cooper like that son, and while Louis thinks it doesn't take from his love for Harry, he can still see that it hurts Harry to not be able to be the kind of son his father wanted.

His suspicions are confirmed by Harry's body language. An uneasy smile and a look of being mentally checked out from the conversation. Louis has been mostly dismissed from the conversation as Cooper and Gemma seem to be doing the most conversing with Desmond.

Harry's done a lot of saving Louis tonight, so Louis figures he'll suggest an out from this conversation for Harry.

He places a hand on Harry's thigh, small electric volts in his veins as he does so, and leans into Harry's ear. "Why don't you show me the rest of the house?"

Harry nods stiffly and Louis realizes the room has gone quiet.

Louis stills and takes in everyone staring at the two of them.

His throat runs dry and his face burns with fire as he realizes how much his simple touch appears to cross a friendship boundary into an intimate one. Louis' heart pounding is the only thing he can hear.

He slowly draws his hands back to clasp in his lap and acts like nothing offensive has just taken place. Though he feels like he's sitting too close to Harry now, he doesn't want to chance scooting farther away and drawing attention to it.

Harry clears his throat. "I'm going to give Louis a tour of the rest of the house."

Harry leaves without another word, and Louis trails behind him.

They go upstairs and into a room that is larger than Louis' kitchen and living room put together. There's an entire wall that is made up of an aquarium with thousands of fish swimming around in it. Predictably, a king size bed and giant television are the main features of the room, then there's a Jacuzzi in the corner. The entire room is themed white and gold like something out of a palace.

Louis would question why Harry brought him into his parent's master suite, but the fish aquarium tells Louis that this is probably just Harry's room. It still surprises him though because the whole thing is very... elegant. Louis wonders if Harry has much say in what he does to decorate his room or not.

Harry plops down on his bed and smothers his face with his hands.

Louis carefully sits with a distance between them. "I'm so sor-"

Harry lets out a frustrated groan and falls backward onto the bed. "I hate my family so much. I'm sorry Louis... you don't have anything to apologize for. They've treated you horribly."

"Hey." Louis lays on his side next to Harry. "Your family is wonderful. Gemma is so sweet and Cooper is very smart. Your dad is an absolute riot, and I can tell your mum loves you very much."

"You're just saying that." Harry mumbles.

Louis snorts. "Because I'm _obviously_ a very skilled liar."

Harry cracks a grin. "Nice job botching the Queen concert details."

"Shove off. I'm only a man." Louis noses Harry's shoulder. "It's not like your save from it was much better."

Harry blushes. "Sorry about that."

"Did we really go to the same concert though?" Louis flops onto his back to look at Harry's ceiling. The ceiling over Harry's bed is an aquarium too. Half of the ceiling is covered in aquarium. Louis has a sudden irrational fear of drowning if the tank breaks.

Harry giggles. "I guess so."

Louis watches the colored fish swim around the coral. He wonders if Harry has named all the fish in his fish tank. He's sure Harry knows each different species of fish. Harry probably picked them all out himself.

Harry starts humming Bicycle Race, breaking Louis from his fish gazing.

Louis rolls back onto his side to face Harry. "So." He starts.

Harry stops humming and looks at Louis, then rolls onto his side so that he's almost face-to-face with him. "So?"

"I think you have some things to tell me." Louis wants to give Harry the opportunity to speak freely of the things that happened tonight without forcing it out of him.

Harry looks down at the duvet as he draws patterns in the gold trim. "For my birthday my mom bought me a car and a driver. It's a Bentley Mulsanne, and my driver is Vaughn. I told my mom to take it back because I wanted a regular car, but she said I have to keep up appearances. So I made Vaughn rent storage unit instead and bought another car to drive so that I could drive my Bentley back and forth from the unit and my house, and my Civic everywhere else."

"So Vaughn just hangs out at your rented storage unit until you come back and have him drive you home?" Louis chuckles.

"No. He gets around by taxi after he drops me off. I pay for all his transport and hourly on top of that for when he's actually supposed to be driving me places." Harry explains.

That's, damn. That's a lot of money that Vaughn doesn't actually have to work for. He supposes secrets have a high price to pay though.

"Sorry then for almost ruining your secret." Louis apologizes, even though it's not actually a secret from Desmond.

"'S'okay. Gemma knows, so that's why she jumped in." Harry rolls onto his back. "Which, I'm sorry about not telling you about the hospital thing. I... I didn't want you to not accept it. But I shouldn't have done it behind your back."

Louis shrugs, bunching up some of the duvet in the process. "It's done. Thank you though... I really don't know what to say past that. I don't think I need to tell you what it would have done for my financial situation for the next several years."

Harry is silent, and the sound of the aquarium filter fills the room.

"What's the down low with Cooper?" Louis asks.

Harry stands up and walks over to the glass wall of the fish tank. "Cooper, um." He traces his fingers along the outline of a coral arrangement. "I was hired at my dad's company on the international sales team. I... I was really terrible- like, _really_ terrible- so he had to fire me. That's when he finally let me start pursuing marine biology. Cooper replaced me at the company. Then my dad introduced Cooper to Gemma and they've been dating for almost two years."

Louis crosses the room to hug Harry. "I'm so glad you got fired." He places a firm kiss to the top of Harry's head.

Harry dips his head further into Louis' chest. "Me too."

~~~


	30. Chapter 29

 

Dedicated to my favs, GeekyKhaleesi, Jesse, ashleyerin_1996, lunarrua, geekykhaleesi, and KaeLyn86 :DD

  
~~~

Vince ends up driving Louis home, since Louis' pain threshold still compromises his ability to drive. Harry's parents asked him to stay with them for the night, so Louis supposes he probably won't see Harry for a couple days.

Vince doesn't say anything the whole time, even though Louis has a ton of questions he could be asking him. He idly wonders if Vince and Vaughn are brothers or something.

An hour later and Louis is back at the house with his head spinning. Definitely an odd evening. An odd Sunday, really.

Vince catches a taxi back and Louis gives him a simple 'thank you' for driving him.

He walks through the door feeling like it's been a week, when it's only actually been 10 hours. He kicks Zayn's shoes off inside the house and pulls off the blazer and shirt. He's still absolutely stuffed from dinner, so he just heads straight to Zayn's room to give him his clothes back.

It's really good to be back in his own home. Where he can see all four walls of his house if he stands in just the right spot.

He opens the door without knocking because he didn't see any other cars and doesn't hear any suspicious noises. Zayn is on his bed in nothing but underpants looking at his phone.

He looks up when he sees Louis enter. "How did it go?"

"Could have been better. Could have been worse." Louis says. "You already smoke today?"

"Was waiting for you just in case." Zayn clicks his phone off and sets it on the nightstand.

Louis hangs up Zayn's clothes back in his closet as Zayn throws on some sweatpants. Louis switches Zayn's pants for his own sweatpants, but keeps his electric blue underwear on.

The energy in the house is quiet and relaxed. Very different than when he and Harry were occupying it. It feels bigger without Harry here.

He grabs a small handful from the giant bundle of weed still sitting in the back of his closet and meets Zayn out on the porch sofa.

Louis silently hands the loose leaves to Zayn for him to assemble into a blunt. Louis doesn't even notice how much time passes while Zayn perfects the blunt because his head is completely overwhelmed and spinning with Harry, Harry, Harry.

"He has a Bentley. He made his chauffer rent a storage unit so he could keep it there instead of drive it around." Louis says.

Zayn smiles. "I'm not surprised."

"He has an aquarium for his bedroom wall." Louis says.

"He _is_ a marine biologist." Zayn says.

Zayn places the blunt between his lips and lights it.

"I accidentally told his dad that I thought he was good looking." Louis says.

Zayn chokes on his exhale.

"His mom's a bitch and Gemma's boyfriend tries to be the son that Desmond never had." Saying it out loud to Zayn makes it feel like it's not Louis' burden to bear anymore. He thinks he should probably stop doing it though, because it's probably the cause of Louis feeling like nothing more than a burden to Zayn.

Louis has just never had to handle everything in life alone. He's always had Zayn to share everything with.

Even just talking to him fills a part of Louis that has felt absent the last couple of days. It's not that he didn't completely love the time he spent with Harry. But Zayn is practically soldered to part of Louis' soul.

He leans his head on Zayn's shoulder. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Zayn hands him the blunt and kisses his hair.

Louis takes his time with his hits, then gives it back to Zayn.

"How have you been?" Zayn asks.

"Good. Happy." Louis says. "I haven't hurt myself since the tarantula incident, so that's been really nice; and I don't pass out after exorbitant physical activities anymore."

"You guys are having sex?" Zayn passes the smoke to Louis again.

"No." Louis sits up to breathe in the smoke better. "He wants to, but I'm not ready."

Zayn hums.

"Am I stupid? I'm making it a big deal right? It doesn't have to be a big deal." Everyone has sex nowadays. Hell, Louis has sex with Zayn. Why is it a big deal with Harry?

"It's a big deal because Harry is special to you. It's a good thing." Zayn says.

"You're special to me too." Louis doesn't want Zayn feeling invalidated by this conversation.

"You don't need to tell me that Louis, I already know. It's more special with Harry though." Zayn takes his turn with the blunt.

"I don't think so though. Because sex isn't a big deal to him." Louis says.

Zayn blows out smoke before speaking. "It will be when it's with you. Doesn't matter how many partners he or I have had. It's always special with you."

Louis looks over at Zayn, who looks oddly emotional. "Are you okay?"

Zayn props an elbow up on the side of the couch and rests his head on it. "Yeah. I'm okay."

They're silent as they pass the blunt back and forth a few more times.

Louis stares at the empty lot across from their flat.

"He told me he loves me last night." Louis says.

Zayn sighs, staring at a car passing by. "Good. I'm really happy for you."

"I didn't say it back." Louis says.

If Zayn is surprised at all, he doesn't show it. "What are you scared of?"

"Will I lose you if I love him?" Louis asks.

"Lou." Zayn shakes his head. "C'mere."

Zayn swivels his body so that he's lengthwise on the couch with his knees propped up. He pulls Louis in-between his legs so that Louis' back is against Zayn's chest.

Zayn hooks his chin over Louis' shoulder and wraps arms around his stomach. "I love you, and you'll never lose me." He places a soft kiss to the juncture of Louis' neck and shoulder.

"I love you too." Louis leans into Zayn's touch.

They share the blunt for a while longer, Louis loving being held by Zayn. His brain is marginally hazy and definitely feeling good. Louis pulls out his phone to text Harry.

**So I've got a question for you**

Harry doesn't take long in responding. "Hey! _Listen_!" His phone chirps. Louis switches his phone to silent before opening the text.

**What's that?**

Louis composes a text, then hesitates before sending it. Zayn places his hand over Louis' and presses send for him.

**Do you really love me?**

Zayn kisses softly up and down the side of Louis' neck while they wait for Harry's response. It vibrates in Louis' hand only moments later.

**Yes of course. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.**

"He loves you. I love you. Neither of us are leaving you." Zayn lips against Louis' skin, making it rise with goosebumps. "Nothing to be scared of."

Louis attempts to hum an acknowledgement of any sort, but nothing comes out of his dry mouth. He texts Harry back instead.

**I'm sorry I just wanted to make sure... That means a lot to me.**

After he sends it, Zayn holds the blunt up to Louis' mouth and Louis leans his head back into Zayn's shoulder. Zayn times the drag perfectly for Louis- a result of being his smoking partner for years.

When Louis lets the smoke back out, he feels like the rest of his worries are let go with it. He tilts his head up to gaze at Zayn with glazed eyes and a light smile. The drug crackles lazily in his veins.

Zayn maintains eye contact with Louis as he takes the next drag. Louis parts his lips in anticipation, and Zayn transfers the smoke without asking. The heat burns hotter with more than just smoke as their lips meet.

A text from Harry draws Louis' attention back to his phone.

**No need to apologize :). What are you up to now?**

Louis clicks on the camera icon and holds it up to his face. He hovers his thumb over the shutter button once he has it positioned, then tilts his head to give Zayn a deep French kiss. His thumb hits the shutter, and he sends the picture to Harry.

Louis exchanges smoke back and forth with Zayn until the blunt is gone. Then he finally gets a response from Harry.

It's a picture of Harry laying naked on the same bed Louis laid on earlier that day. He's holding himself fully erect in his hand that looks shimmery from lube. The only text included with the picture is a simple: **More.**

Zayn bites into the side of Louis' neck hard enough that it shoots fireworks through Louis' body, but not hard enough to hurt.

Zayn takes Louis' phone and selects Harry's contact information. He clicks the FaceTime option, and carries Louis to his bedroom while they wait for Harry to answer.

~~~

Z

It's the first day Louis is back at work in almost a month and Zayn is anxious. Not that Louis is technically working, unless sitting on his brown lawn chair and sorting the kumquats that he's brought in for everyone counts.

Zayn still holds himself responsible over Louis regardless.

The morning started out with Louis tucked deeply into Zayn's frame, and ended with him begging to go to work with him.

Zayn sympathizes with Louis. Louis' life has essentially been based around working. So Zayn took pity and let Louis come to work with him.

Zayn also thinks that maybe it has something to do with the fact that Harry is here. He's not sure, but from what Louis was saying last night, it sounds like Harry's family may want to keep him close to home for a little while. Not that Zayn necessarily blames them... Harry has spent a vast amount of time staying at their flat over the last month, and he assumes his sister can only provide a cover up for so long.

He's been fine with it really. Harry acts like he has partial ownership in their home anyway. Which, Zayn thinks is technically accurate, seeing as a delivery came yesterday afternoon while Louis and Harry were away. The delivery included a 70-inch flat screen television, a brand new Nintendo 64, and a surround sound system.

Louis still hasn't noticed it yet. He's been too one-track-minded lately.

It's not a bad thing. But it's definitely different.

Both the extravagant electronics and Louis' attention span.

Zayn is weighing out platypus food, adding in extra mealworms for nutrition, when Harry leans against the counter and sets his platypus down on the stainless steel. Perry waddles over to nibble at the food currently in Zayn's hand.

"Why is your platypus accosting my person?" Zayn nudges Perry's bill away with the back of his hand.

"Perry just wanted to give you morning snuggles." Harry pets Perry's tail.

"Tell Perry I don't do morning snuggles." At least with platypodes and one night stands, he mentally adds.

"Louis' getting stir crazy. He keeps trying to jump in and help." Harry pulls Perry back into his arms.

Zayn sighs.

He knew this would be an issue. He mentally prepared himself for what this whole day would involve when Louis started begging to come to work with him. This is only the beginning, since they haven't even gotten through their first presentation.

"Just remind him that he can't do anything because he's not wearing his uniform." Something Zayn definitely did this on purpose. He knows it's really the only thing that could hold Louis back from working.

"Okay!" Harry chirps, then gathers Perry into his arms to bury his face into Perry's tummy, curls flying everywhere.

God, Zayn wants to fuck Harry.

He pushes his fingers against the sides of his head and accidentally mashes mealworms on his face in the process. "Harry. _Please_ leave and take your exuberance with you."

Harry's eyelashes hit his eyebrows as he flicks his eyes at Zayn from over the top of platypus fur. "You liked my exuberance last night."

Zayn gives Harry a deadpan expression because he's actually impossible.

Then Harry fucking pouts, sticking his bright pink lips out and holds Perry closer to his chest.

"God damn it Harry, so help me-" Zayn groans. "What do you want from me?"

Harry's lips slowly- very slowly- curl upwards into an unrestrained smirk. "I just want you to enjoy mornings as much as you enjoyed last night."

Zayn opens his mouth to put Harry in his place because he's acting much too cocky for Zayn's liking.

"What did you guys do last night?" Marti bounces into the prep room.

Zayn stares off into the distance. "What did I tell you about talking to me before lunch time?"

Marti's face falls. "Sorry... _Harry_ was talking to you, so I thought I could come talk to you too."

"That's because Harry has special privileges." Like sharing beds with Zayn and Louis. And sharing weed. And sexy FaceTime calls.

"Harry has _all_ the special privileges." Marti pouts. "Like presenting. You always let him do the presenting. Why can't _I_ do the presenting?"

"Marti, you're 15. You legally can't represent the zoo until you're at least 16." Hiring Marti was a good move on Conner's part because of how hard of a worker she is, but unfortunately she is another trust-fund baby but with the attitude he initially anticipated from Harry once he found out Harry's financial background.

"How about I have my daddy ensure a raise for you?" Marti says. "I'm sick of sitting on the sidelines. And now that _Lewis_ is back, I'm _never_ going to get to present!"

"Harry." Zayn hands the situation to him because he is in no position to speak tactfully with overly ambitious 'youths' (as Louis would say).

Harry seems to be really in tune with Zayn. It's odd. Harry can read his moods nearly as good as Louis; and if it's all just wild guesses, then Harry definitely doesn't let on. It unnerves Zayn, really. The way Harry seems to read Zayn with a mere once-over with his eyes. The way that Harry so easily can push Zayn's buttons. The way that there's an unspoken sexual tension between the two.

So Harry graciously distracts Marti and takes her out to start draining the pond for their monthly drains. It should keep her busy for a while. And keep Louis busy with something to watch.

Though, Zayn thinks Louis could probably stay infinitely busy just watching Harry. Watching Louis watch Harry is like watching two people completely in sync dance around one another without ever actually touching. They've come a long way since Louis vied for Harry's attention like a teenager, and Harry's seemed to only come out of his shell more and more.

It's odd that Zayn finds himself growing along with their relationship too though. Zayn mostly gave them space in the beginning, letting them figure things out by themselves. Then Louis was hospitalized, and Zayn was essentially forced to take Louis' place by executive decision from Harry.

Though Zayn was always fond of Harry, he never quite saw him as an indispensable part of his life. But now.

Now, Harry is the missing puzzle piece when it's just Louis and Zayn alone. Harry is the variable that keeps Zayn and Louis questioning what will happen and when. Harry is a magnetic force that Zayn and Louis are drawn to for different reasons.

Harry is the reason Zayn worries twice as much now, because loving one person is exhausting, but loving two people is overwhelming.

And Harry isn't even Zayn's to keep.

Not in _that_ way at least. That's a part of Harry that will always be reserved for Louis, and Zayn is okay with it. He really is.

It's just...

Zayn wishes he had his own kind of Harry. A Harry that was meant for him in the way that Harry is meant for Louis.

Zayn places the mealworms back in the refrigerator and stores his thoughts along with them.

It's too early. Much, much too early.

Zayn sits on his tan lawn chair next to Louis'.

"It's so good to be back. Thank you for letting me come with you." Louis offers him a kumquat.

Which, it's not like Zayn would have just left Louis alone at the house. Zayn probably would have just stayed home with him, except the events of last night made Zayn wake up feeling like he definitely needed to work today- to get his mind off things.

Only, it's impossibly difficult when both subjects of interest are physically present with him. Zayn understands why Louis can work for such long periods at a time. If Zayn didn't have Louis or Harry here, he would probably use work as his escape for everything he couldn't handle on his own.

So it's a bit of an oxymoron that his only outlet has become a setting in which he's forced to maturely manage the collision of choices in his life.

"Y'okay mate?" Louis asks, putting the kumquat back in his lap with the other ones.

Zayn nods, staring blankly Marti running circles around Harry.

"Marti's really... er... efficient." Louis says.

Zayn nods again.

Louis turns and looks at him. "Are you sure you're okay? I mean I know-"

"God, Louis! Lay _off_." Zayn growls. "It's just morning, I'm fine."

Zayn pinches the bridge of his nose because, shit. He is not fine. He never loses it this easily- not at Louis at least.

Harry, Louis, and Marti are all staring at Zayn.

Marti looks confused. Louis looks like Zayn's just punched his shin. Harry looks like he really wants to take control of the situation, but won't because it's _Zayn_.

So Zayn picks himself up and leaves the Platitat.

He heads to his car to smoke three or four or five cigarettes before he's calmed enough to go back.

He takes the long way back, taking time to admire the tigers. He sees Derek in the pen with the zookeepers, administering shots to all of them.

He remembers the summer he spent interning with Derek, following him around from zoo to zoo, taking care of thousands of different species of animals and how much he absolutely loved it.

But as much as he loves veterinarian work, he loves Louis more.

Damn it.

Zayn sighs as he watches Derek packs up his kit and gives the tiger a scratch on its neck. He silently envies Derek's job.

Correction, he greatly envies Derek's job.

Derek spots Zayn as he exits the tiger pen and stands next to him. "Beautiful aren't they?"

Zayn nods. Two of the tigers are playing with a giant blow-up beach ball.

"How are things over in the Platitat?" Derek asks.

"Same as usual." Zayn says.

"Are you still good on Lidocaine? Or do you need me to slip you some more after work?" Derek nudges his shoulder.

Zayn gives him a blank smile. "No. We're good. Still have some left. There've only been a handful of incidents where it's had to be used and it doesn't expire for another six months."

"Good then. I'm so sorry about your friend. He seems to have had it pretty hard lately, what with Jerry passing and the new one incapacitating him." Derek says.

It's really nothing surprising to Zayn. All things he would expect Louis to have to overcome. What is surprising is that now he has Harry to combat some of the trials with. Harry has helped Louis rebound eons quicker than Zayn would have expected from either event.

"He's doing fine. Really well actually." Zayn pulls out his phone. "And I'm sorry, but I have to run, we have a presentation in five minutes and I should be there."

"Of course, don't let me keep you." Derek rests a hand on Zayn's arm. "Just remember, you always have a place in my office should you ever choose to leave Taronga."

Zayn smiles and cordially nods. "Definitely. Thank you Derek."

He jogs back to the Platitat thinking that maybe someday he'll be able to take up Derek on his offer. He was a fantastic boss and Zayn would love to work with him again.

Maybe someday soon.

~~~


	31. Chapter 30

 

A/N: I love you all so much, you don't even know <3 Thank you for all the love and comments and kudos and reads xx

-Dannie

~~~

L

Louis is sitting in the back row of chairs when Zayn takes a seat next to him.

Louis keeps his attention focused on the front where Harry takes the stage. He decides on waiting for Zayn to instigate any kind of conversation.

It's not often that Louis has gotten to watch the platypus presentations in street clothes as a nobody. It's even more different that he's watching Harry do the presenting because he still sees Harry as a greenie intern.

It's been almost two and a half months, and it feels simultaneously like it's Harry's first day, but also like he's been here forever. Louis supposes that's what happens when you spend as much time together as they have though.

But recently Louis has seen Harry out of work more than at work, so it's different to go back to seeing this side of him again. A side that has become a lot more confident without the worry of fitting in as much.

Harry is so damn good with the kids too. The audience simply eats him up and he brings up a couple kids on stage for part of the presentation, hamming it up by getting down at their level and giggling with them. He gives them high-fives and they giddily return to their seats with their parents.

Louis' heart shamelessly melts.

Zayn leans over and whispers in his ear. "Bro, you are the actual heart-eye emoji right now."

Louis can't bring himself to tear his eyes from Harry either way. "He's so cute with kids."

Zayn nods like he couldn't deny it if he was being forced to walk the plank.

"Can you believe he's only been here two and a half months?" Louis voices his thoughts from earlier to see if Zayn's input differs from his own.

"Honestly seems like he's been here almost as long as you or me." Zayn says.

Louis nods. "Are you okay by the way?" He turns to look at Zayn. "From earlier?"

A sadness crosses through Zayn's eyes for a moment before he masks it with a smile. "Absolutely." He sets a hand on Louis' thigh. "I just love you a lot. And... care very deeply for Harry too. It's just important to me that you two are happy."

Zayn's eyes flick to Harry with something that looks more painful than simply 'caring' in Louis' opinion.

It's not that he's never taken into consideration how Zayn feels about the entire situation, because he certainly has. But just... seeing how Zayn struggled through this morning... seeing the emotions flash through Zayn's face... it puts a different perspective to it that makes Louis feel completely selfish and inconsiderate.

He wants to flat out ask Zayn every detail of what he's feeling, because for once there seems to be a barrier emotionally separating Zayn from the world. Not out of spite, but out of self-preservation, he thinks.

He knows if he brings it up, there's a high chance of Zayn dismissing it or turning it into a conversation about how Louis actually feels about everything.

He thinks back to last night and how everything was so... natural. So natural that it almost scared Louis. Zayn having sex with Louis while Harry watched and participated via FaceTime. It was natural between the three.

The thing is, last night, Louis didn't feel the barrier that he feels is surrounding Zayn today. Maybe it's because they need to talk about it. Louis doesn't feel any animosity or awkwardness towards him from either Zayn or Harry though, so he really can't quite put his finger on what the problem is.

That is, until Harry finishes the presentation and bounds up to Louis.

Louis outstretches his arms wide and Harry outright picks him up and squeezes him tightly.

"You did so good babe!" Louis coos. He's glad he isn't in uniform so that he can get away with being a little more physical than what would be acceptable otherwise.

Then it's when Harry sets him down and catches the look Harry directs towards Zayn that he sees it.

Zayn swallows and gives Harry a stoic smile before walking away, and the look it elicits from Harry makes Louis' heart feel choked off.

It's not Zayn putting a barrier around himself. It's only been built between him and Harry. A carefully constructed one that's fragile and has a high risk of that careful level between too guarded and too open.

He recognizes a similar mirror of it on Harry's face. The worry of pushing too far and not giving enough with Zayn.

Zayn knows he loves Harry before Louis even knows he loves Harry.

~~~

By the end of the week, Louis has successfully helped distribute all of the product to Niall's clients.

Zayn was present for every one of the transactions because honestly, the whole thing still unnerved Louis. Come Saturday, Niall called to thank Louis a dozen times, and let him know that he and Barbara were taking a break, but still on good terms. Even after all the clients had come, there still remained about what Louis and Zayn (and now Harry) could smoke in about a month.

Niall insisted that he keep it all as payment, even though Louis refused, blaming it on Zayn's antipathy to large portions of illegal substances in their house. Niall laughed it off and said he'd personally bail them out. Acting begrudging about it, Louis finally accepted, but couldn't deny that he was thrilled about not having to pay the monthly weed bill.

He also wound up with a fruit basket on his porch the next morning.

Louis really likes Niall.

Harry and Marti had Wednesday and Thursday off, so Louis got to spend some time catching up with Conner while watching him and Zayn work. Conner gave him shit about his 'reckless behavior with the new platypus' and Louis told him to shove off.

It was also only yesterday night when Louis finally noticed that there sat a brand fucking new television in his living room. When he perplexedly asked Zayn how long it had been there, Zayn just laughed.

So by Saturday, things are almost back to normal, and Harry said he'd be able to start 'staying with Gemma' again starting next week as long as Louis agreed to go to another family dinner.

Louis is definitely _not_ thrilled about it, mostly because he feels that Harry's mother is just flat-out inconsiderate. But, if it means Harry gets to start staying nights again, he will endure another dinner.

Perry is still attached to Harry by the foot, and refuses to be ignored whenever Harry is in the Platitat. Harry wears Perry like an accessory, always resting over his shoulder or swaddled in his arms. Perry has warmed up to everyone else by now too, understanding that they aren't a threat in coming between him and Harry.

It definitely helps Louis relax a little more.

The other platypodes are doing well, and Dez spends more of her time burrowing holes around Louis' lawn chair.

It's lunch time, and everyone seems to be relaxing and reveling in good vibes. Marti is in an amiable mood, Zayn's morning blues have lifted, Harry is happily munching on a veggie burger, and Louis' tea is just the right temperature.

The table across from them is filled with the Eco Explorers and they've been pointing and laughing at Louis the whole time, which Louis cannot for the life of him figure out why. He doesn't pay it any mind.

Harry simply beams at Louis and Zayn, and every time he makes eye contact with Louis, it's like he's screaming 'I love you' as loud as he can. It makes Louis feel so giddy that he thinks he might implode.

So instead he starts humming.

He's about two notes in before Harry recognizes the song and starts humming along.

Marti's looking at them like they've just jumped from the head of a giraffe into the lion exhibit, but all Louis can see is Harry. They're grinning so big that Louis wants to maul him here in the middle of the cafeteria. He could not care less who the hell is or isn't here to witness the event.

At the beginning of the next chorus, Louis and Harry simultaneously jerk their heads towards Zayn who has been watching with a fond smile. He takes the hint and starts humming along to[ I Was Born to Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fna56a_r41s&list=PLkIrAVgIXmwMVqNbrm8RTXrUL9CVpH__L&index=9) with the both of them.

By the end of the chorus, Louis is so pent up with energy that he laughs and can't continue on with the song anymore. Harry joins shortly after and Zayn laughs amusedly along with them.

Harry tries throwing sweet potato fries into Louis' mouth, and the ones that miss, Louis blindly tries throwing into Zayn's mouth. Zayn doesn't even try catching them, and instead chucks them at Harry. They're all laughing too hard to actually aim properly, but Harry ends up with about three fries in his hair, and Louis has grease stains down the front of his shirt.

When Harry runs out of ammunition, Zayn pulls the fries from his hair and splits them with Louis, refusing to give any to Harry despite his protests. By the time their laughter completely dies down, the Eco Explorers are watching on in disgust and Marti just looks really confused.

"You guys are weird." Marti picks up her empty tray and dumps it in the trash.

The three of them laugh about it again for a minute, and Louis feels light and floaty and free.

He also really wants to snog Harry while Zayn gets frisky with one or both of them. It's tortuous really, that they're at work and can't do anything about it.

Monday, he thinks. Monday when Harry stays over, they can have time to themselves. To explore and touch without time limits or environmental restraints.

Louis smiles to himself when he realizes he's thought about and planned for something sexual without being prompted to do so.

He feels more like a normal person. Harry and Zayn make him feel normal.

~~~

As usual, Louis goes in with Zayn on Sunday morning and decides on bringing a batch of salted brownies. However, it's the first time he remembers to inquire about Zayn's date with Liam. He's helping Zayn prep the food while Harry and Brooke are out watering plants and waking up platypodes.

"So, did you ever text Liam to set up a date?" Louis asks. "I freely gave you some of my best wingman work at Niall's party."

"Eh, I got distracted with the whole 'you deciding to be an international drug dealer for a week' fiasco and never texted him. So now it's been over a week and I'm pretty sure it would be weird to text him." Zayn says.

"Psh, whatever. I'm sure he wouldn't care. He honestly seems equally as interested in you as you are in him." Louis points out.

Zayn purses his lips. "Maybe. I don't know that I could handle anyone else right now though."

"Than who? Yourself?" Louis laughs.

Zayn stays silent.

Louis clears his throat. "Well next time we play at Blue Grounds you can rekindle your fire with him and waltz into the Australian sunset or sommat. It will be lovely. Harry will play the Ocarina for you."

"What about my Ocarina?" Harry asks.

Louis hops onto the counter, accidentally sitting in Winston's pile of food and getting dried worms all over his bum. "Was just saying how you haven't played it for me yet."

Harry walks right up to Louis and places himself between Louis' parted legs. "You'd want me to play for you?"

Zayn ruffles Harry's hair. "He dreams about it actually. I woke up last night to him talking in his sleep begging for you to play the Song of Storms for him. This morning on our way to work when I asked him how he slept, he simply told me he had a wet dream about you." Zayn wiggles his eyebrows.

Louis slaps Zayn on the shoulder- so glad that his pain threshold has diminished a little since the incident- and Zayn recoils. "You weren't supposed to _tell_ Harry that. Also, my wet dream wasn't about him playing Ocarina. The sexy bit came after the serenade."

Harry hangs off Zayn's shoulder. "Ooh, the Song of Storms hmm? You think that would do it for him?"

"I think you'd need to be in a tunic and get fake elf ears for it to have the full effect." Zayn folds his arms and pretends like he's mulling it over.

Louis pokes them both in the chest. "Hey, no ganging up on me. It's not fair."

Harry interlocks a hand with Louis and lets it fall in a half circle into Louis' lap. "It's just because we love you."

Harry says it lightly and Zayn is smiling, but it hits Louis heavily. A heavy and deep feeling that he knows is love for both of them. It's a very good thing.

It's that instant that the weight of everything seems to lift off his shoulders with his newfound information. He knows he loves Harry for exactly who he is.

Louis is about to lean in for a group hug when Marti comes skipping in to ruin the moment like the moment-ruiner she is. Louis momentarily thinks about sending her away so that they can all just spend the day together.

Or even better- changing her days off so that they aren't the same as Harry's.

He will have to discuss this with Zayn.

"I'm starting to think that Louis doesn't actually ever work." Marti rolls her eyes.

Harry quickly stands up to his defense. "He may not look it, but he's still extremely sensitive to pain. He's in recovery and can't risk overexerting himself by working. Him being here is-"

Marti holds up her hands in defense to stop Harry. "All I'm saying is him being here only seems to distract both of you. No need to flip a bitch." She refills the watering can and leaves again.

Harry looks to Louis and Zayn. "Was that overreacting?"

Zayn and Louis exchange a glance, nodding their heads thoughtfully from side to side.

"I mean..." Louis shrugs.

"What's the point? You know?" Zayn explains. "Like, we both know perfectly well what kind of a worker Louis is, so why bother engaging in an altercation about it?"

Harry pouts. "To stand up for his character."

Louis places a hand over Harry's. "I don't really care who other people think I am. The people who matter to me know what I'm like, so it doesn't bother me."

"I guess." Harry bites at his bottom lip nonsensically. "I guess I'm just used to a world where everything is reputation based. You know?"

Zayn and Louis nod at the admittance. It definitely makes sense and explains a couple things. Louis thinks it's great that Harry can see how he thinks from an objective standpoint now.

"Well in our world, you don't have to worry about it." Zayn reassures.

Harry gives Louis' hand a light squeeze and leans his head on Zayn's shoulder. "Good."

~~~


	32. Chapter 31

A/N: We are officially halfway through The Forgotten Habitat! It's all downhill from here... Or uphill... Depending on how you look at it ^_^   
                     
~~~

It's the end of the day when Louis and Zayn are going through inventory and Harry comes in looking a little unnerved.

He scuffs his foot on the floor.  "Hey Lou."

Louis and Zayn exchange a glance before looking at Harry.

"Hey...?"  Louis sets the pencil down on the ledger.

"Could you um..."  Harry itches at his nose.  "Help me get the broom?"

"Sorry?"  Zayn asks.

"The broom in the corner?"  Louis nods towards the broom at the end of the prep table.

"Sorry... I um... it, well-" Harry bites at his lip before rushing out the next part.  "There's a big spider on the handle."

Zayn visibly shivers a little.  "Just poke it with something else to make it move."

Harry looks up with deer eyes at Zayn.  "But then it's still alive!  It could crawl on the ceiling and fall on my head!"  He picks up Louis' hand.  "Will you kill it please?"

"No."  Louis purses his lips.  "We're in his home.  I'll move him to outside the prep room though."

Harry gives a small whine of protest, but doesn't say anything passed that.

Louis traverses over and spots said spider.  He picks up the daddy long leg and carries it out to the platypus pond.  He lowers his hand towards a small bush.  "There you go buddy.  Try and stay out here so you don't scare Haz and Z."  The spider crawls off his arm and down into the bush.

Louis walks back over to the corner to bat away the small spider web that had accumulated there and hands the broom to Harry.  "Better?"

"Thanks."  Harry nods, bright red.  "Sorry."  He quickly busies himself with sweeping the concrete floor, trying to act as incognito as possible.

After everything is swept, dusted, and wiped down, Zayn excuses Marti and Harry.  Marti punches out her time clock and leaves with a haughty goodbye to everyone. 

Harry punches out, then hops up on the counter.  "You drove with Zayn today, right?"

Louis laughs and pops in a piece of gum. "No, I rode my chocobo here."

Zayn laughs, but Harry doesn't. 

Louis thinks he just dated himself with that comment.  Oh well.

Harry quirks an eyebrow. 

"It's a Final Fantasy thing, never mind young one."  Louis waves his hand in the air.  "Yes, I rode with Zayn."

"Fine."  Harry flares his nostrils at Louis, trying to look put off, but failing miserably.  "Do you want to just ride with me to mine then?"

"Sure."  Louis chuckles.

"I'll leave you two to at it then."  Zayn clocks out.  "Harry, lock the door behind you and don't forget the Lidocaine."

"Will do!"  Harry chirps.

The door closes behind Zayn and the Platitat is silent.

Louis reflexively looks around to make sure everything is put away and taken care of, which, it is. 

So Louis looks questioningly to Harry.  "Ready then?"

"Not quite."  Harry hops off the counter and stands so his face is only inches away from Louis' face.  "Can I kiss you here?"

All Louis can focus on is his heart thumping in his ears because they're in the Platitat and he loves Harry and this feels stupidly like it's actually their first kiss.  So he just nods. 

Harry threads an arm around Louis' waist and the other cups his cheek.  He lets the feeling settle- the close proximity and the glance from Louis' lips and back up to his eyes again.  His lips part slowly and linger centimeters away from Louis'. 

Louis can feel his warm breath and meets his lips the rest of the way.  Louis lets Harry take charge of where he wants the kiss to go, though his intentions to keep it simple and sweet are very clear.

Harry strokes Louis on the cheek a couple times with his thumb and rubs small circles into his back.  Louis mirrors Harry's arms with his own and thumbs against where Harry's dimple would crease into his face if he were smiling. 

Harry pulls away and kisses Louis on the cheek, and Louis returns it with a kiss to the cheek of his own.  They let their foreheads rest against each other's.

"I've wanted to do that since the day I met you."  Harry gives him an Eskimo kiss.

Louis closes his eyes and smiles.  "You're so cute."

"Everything about this place reminds me of you.  It's really special to me.  Coming into work doesn't feel like work at all.  It's just like... happiness.  A happiness that I won't ever forget."  Harry whispers against his lips.  "I love you so much Louis."

"I love..."  Louis swallows.  "I love that you told me.  It really means a lot."

Harry hugs Louis tightly.  "You mean a lot to me.  More than you could ever imagine."

Louis exhales nothing but regret and fear and decides against saying anything further.  He's just grateful for Harry being Harry, because if this moment were in the hands of Louis, he certainly would have fucked it up.  Hell, he feels like he just did, even though Harry's warm embrace doesn't emit anything other than love for Louis.

Harry pulls away with a smile and grabs the Lidocaine from the fridge before pulling Louis by the hand out of the Platitat.  He releases his hand to lock the door, but quickly re-slots it with Louis' once he's pocketed the key. 

Harry's walking rather eagerly, and Louis can't really figure out why, but he's definitely curious as to why they are not walking towards the parking lot.

"Where you taking me Haz?"  Louis asks.

"To my car."  Harry says.

"Which is parked... not in the parking lot?"  Louis asks.

"Oh!"  Harry face-palms himself.  "Sorry.  My car like, the Bentley.  My dad likes me parking it in the administration garage, and that way Vaughn can hang out in the lounge all day."

"You had Vaughn drive you today?"  Louis eyes Harry from the side.

"Yeah, I mean, I talked to my dad about it since last week.  We agreed on more of a half and half deal, and since you know about it now, I told him I'd take it around today."  Harry explains.

"Well it sounds like things ended in a mutually beneficial way then."  Louis is glad that Harry trusts him enough to take him for a ride in his actual car, and also that he was able to smooth things over with his father.  He refrains from the strong desire to ask Harry if Desmond said anything further about himself to Harry.  But it really doesn't matter, and if it did, he trusts that Harry would have brought it up with him.

They make their way through the administration office with cordial greetings to everyone who knows the both of them- Louis from working there for half his life, and Harry from his father's gracious donations.

There's a door that leads to the lounge, and there's an older man on the sofa who perks up at Harry's entrance.

"Harry!  And Louis I presume."  The white-haired man walks up to Louis and offers out a hand.  "I'm Vaugh.  It's a pleasure."

Louis smiles and shakes his hand.  "Pleasure to meet you too sir."

Harry and Vaughn laugh and Vaughn gives Louis a pat on the shoulder.  "Please, just call me Vaughn.  'Sir' makes me sound old."

Harry rolls his eyes.  "And we all know how you feel about that."

"Well Vaughn then."  Louis confirms.  "Thank you for your services."

"I'm going to share a secret with you boy."  Vaughn motions for Louis to lean in closer, so he does.  Vaughn holds up a hand and whispers in his ear.  "I get paid to do this."

Harry buckles over in laughter. 

Louis holds a fist to his smiling mouth and nods slowly.  "Of course."

"Come on then you two."  Vaughn ushers them out into the private garage.  "Your mother will wring my neck if you're late to Sunday dinner.  She's already given me an earful over you missing church services the last couple months." 

And, right.  That's actually not something Louis had ever put any thought towards. 

Vaughn opens the doors for both Louis and Harry, and it's definitely the nicest car Louis has ever sat in.  Everything looks brand new.  In fact, it _smells_ brand new.

Harry slides into the middle seat so that he's pressed against Louis' side, and Louis gets the feeling that Vaughn is not one that Harry hides much from.  So he easily slips his fingers through Harry's and Harry looks pleased as peaches.

Vaughn opens the garage and then gets in to start the car.  "What will it be today?"

"Just what we listened to on the way here."  Harry says.

Vaughn nods and fixes the stereo so that Daft Punk starts playing through the speakers.

Louis ruffles Harry's curls because he's simply irresistible.  "You can listen to whatever you want, you know."

"I know.  I just like music that reminds me of you.  It makes me happier."  Harry gives him a cherub grin.

Louis taps him on the nose at that.  "Question for you." 

"Sure."  Harry cocks his head.

"Do you want to change your work days?  You can have Sunday and Monday off so that you can go to church and have a semi-normal weekend."  He figures he'll ask Zayn about it later.  Louis basically owns the Platitat and the staff there.  He can make his own damn decisions.

"Ahm."  Harry tenses a little.  "Is there a problem with how things are now?"

Louis shakes his head furiously.  "No, no!  Not at all.  Just, wondered if that would work better for you."  Then Louis tacks on as an afterthought.  "Also, I thought it might be nice to have a couple days with just you, Zayn, and me."

The last bit is what seems to do it for Harry and he nods excitedly.  "That'd be awesome."

"It won't ruin your school schedule or anything will it?"  Louis teases.

Harry snubs his nose in the air.  "Of course not.  I'm far too prepared for something so menial to throw me off kilter."

Louis turns on his regal voice.  "Right, of course my dear.  How dare I assume such folly?"

"Yes."  Harry nips at his shoulder.  "How very dare you."

Louis smiles and looks passed Harry out the window.  That's when it hits him that he had absolutely no clue that they had been moving this whole time.  "Damn.  This is the smoothest ride I've had in my whole life."

Harry wiggles his eyebrows and Louis gently elbows his side.

"If it wasn't, I would have a word or two with the nice salesman who we bought the car from."  Vaughn says from the front.  "Is the air okay?  Too hot or cold?"

"Just lovely."  Louis feels like he's basically been laid in a bed of soft leather and could be lulled to sleep by the beautiful electronic sounds of Daft Punk.

"How is Perry with you these days?"  Vaughn asks.

Louis wonders if he misheard Vaughn until he realizes he did not.  "Oh, um.  He's better I guess.  Still latched onto Haz like a newborn though."

"Yes he was rather thrilled when he discovered a platypus loved him as much as they love you."  Vaughn says.

Harry makes a noise of protest and Louis laughs, happy to see an insight to some of the things that Harry discloses with others.

"Oh yeah?  What else does he say to you?"  Louis probes delightedly.

"Hey, don't forget who signs your checks."  Harry gives the back of Vaughn's seat a light hit with the back of his hand.

Vaughn shakes his head.  "All bark and no bite with this one."  He tsks, then pauses.  "Well.  There were a few biting instances."  He says thoughtfully.  "But quite frankly I'm more worried about my illegal Viagra prescription expiring more than being fired by Harry." 

Louis hoots out in laughter and Harry folds his arms trying to look put off.

"Oh let's see what else we have here."  Vaughn continues on.  "Harry once told me he adds cologne to his shampoo because he wanted you to like how he smelled."

If Louis' stomach wasn't cramping before, it certainly is now with how hard he's laughing.  "Oh my God!  I knew there was no shampoo in the world that smelled that good!"

"So you _do_ like it?"  Harry perks up.

Vaughn laughs along with Louis.

"Yes you dolt."  Louis rolls his eyes.  "It smells like an angel pissed magical holy water into your hair."

"I'm going to just take that as a compliment."  Harry grumbles, trying to portray an air of disdain, but the giant grin on his face gives him away.

The rest of the car ride is filled by Vaughn sharing stories with Louis about the four years he's spent as Harry's driver.  Louis gets to hear about the multiple times Vaughn has covered Harry's careless ass or driven him to shady friend's houses for parties.  There was only one instance where Vaughn mentioned picking up a very silly drunk Harry from a fancy club, and Harry singing Bon Jovi to Vaughn the entire drive home.  Harry stopped resisting halfway through and laughed along to all of the ridiculous memories with Louis.

By the time Vaughn pulls up to the round driveway, Louis' cheeks hurt from smiling and his abs hurt from laughing.  He's grateful though because he doesn't know how much of that there will be over dinner.

Vince gets the door for them and escorts them to the house while Vaughn parks the car.  Louis' a little disappointed that he can't steal another porch step kiss before going in, but he supposes there are six other days of the week where he's free to do it nearly 24 hours a day.

He needs to kiss Harry more.  Kissing Harry is a wonderful feeling.

Vince opens the door, and Louis is overwhelmed all over again like it's his first time stepping foot in the house.  All of the laughter and innocence flush from his system like an adrenaline drop when Anne is standing in the entry way looking disapprovingly at Harry.

"Hey mum.  We're not late, are we?"  Harry glances to the giant clock hung on the wall.

"Not at all dear."  Anne says.  "I was just expecting you back sooner."

"Oh, sorry.  I'm going to shower and change for dinner then."  Harry gives her a kiss on the cheek and motions for Louis to follow him upstairs.

When they get into Harry's room, Harry closes the door behind them. 

"Is your mom okay with me being in your room?"  Louis bites at the inside of his cheek.  "I can just wait downstairs until you're done."

"No it's fine.  I bring my guy friends in my room all the time.  You're technically no different as far as she's concerned."  Harry unbuttons his shirt and shimmies out of his shorts, and Louis feels like he should look away.

"Right."  Louis looks over at Harry's aquarium wall.  "Also, I uh, completely forgot about bringing something to change into.  Should we run to a store or something?"

"No don't worry about it.  I have some clothes that should fit you.  We're basically the same size."  Harry throws his clothes into the hamper along with his briefs, and Louis pointedly stares at the blue and black fish swimming around above him.  "Just dig through my closet for something you like."

Louis scans the room, blinking passed the naked Harry strutting around.  "Where's your closet?"

"Oh, through the bathroom."  Harry says.  "You know my door is closed?  You can look at me." 

Louis lets his eyes slowly fall on Harry's face.  "Of course.  Just admiring the fish."   

Harry smirks at him.  "Sure."

Louis narrows his eyebrows at Harry and follows him through a bathroom the size of his living room and into a closet the size of his bedroom.

"Have at it then."  Harry motions to the four walls and chaise lounge chair in his closet.  "Unless of course you want to join me."

Louis sits on the chaise.  "Definitely not comfortable doing that here.  Maybe next time."

Harry animatedly ruffles up his hair and runs his hands through it.  "Your loss then."  Then turns around to flaunt his perky ass at Louis while he struts away.

Louis sits in the same spot for a couple minutes refocusing on the task at hand. 

Harry's whistling in the shower three meters away from him.

He honestly doesn't even know where the hell to start.

He calls Zayn.

Zayn answers after the first ring.  "Wassup bro?" 

"I'm in Harry's closet."  Louis says blankly.

"Are you waiting for me to make a joke about that or...?"  Zayn trails off.

"I'm supposed to find clothes to wear."  He says.

"Where's Harry?"  The phone gets mumbled for a moment.  "Hang on Lucas, it's Louis."

"Harry's in the shower.  I'm in his closet."  Louis repeats.  "Sorry, should I let you go?"

"No, no.  It's fine, just... hang on."  More muffling, then a door closing.  "Okay.  Family dinner again, yes?"

"Yeah."  Louis looks down at the sheepskin rug at his feet.

"Alright, it should be really easy honestly.  Just pick a patterned collared shirt that's neither too gaudy nor too bland, and pair it with some black slacks and a belt.  It's literally the easiest combo you can do.  Black belt, and black shoes.  Just keep it simple this time around."  Zayn says.

"I love Harry."  Louis says.

There's silence for a moment, but he can still hear Zayn breathing.

Finally, Zayn sighs.  "I know you do.  You should tell him that though.  Not me."

"I'm scared to."  Louis says.

"Nothing to be scared of, remember?  He deserves to hear it from you."  Zayn says.

Louis nods, even though Zayn can't see him. 

"I love you.  You're going to be fantastic tonight.  Try not to date yourself too badly."  Zayn says.

"Love you too; and I won't."  Louis smiles.  "Thank you, by the way." 

"Of course.  Now get off the phone with me and go whisper sweet nothings to your man."  Zayn says.

Louis giggles.  "Thanks Z.  Bye."

"Laters baby."  Zayn hangs up.

Louis stands, renewed in energy and determination.  He can do this.

Several shelves later, and he's found a nice two toned shirt.  Navy torso, and light blue sleeves and pocket.  It's a little louder than Louis would normally go for, but considering his second option was a leopard pattern, he felt it was the more subtle of the two. 

It's definitely odd looking into Harry's wardrobe.  The one that he's expected to wear and portray all the time with his family.  He understands why Harry keeps an entirely separate closet of clothes at his storage unit.  Walking into a place like Blue Grounds with any randomly picked garment from this closet would stick out like a lime in a platter of blackberries.

He selects a belt, slacks, and shoes that he deems wearable, and sets them off to the side.  Harry's long finished his shower, and is just finishing blow drying his hair when Louis walks back into the bathroom portion.

Harry is.  Of course.  Still stark naked. 

The towel is pooled around his feet, and he's grinning in the mirror at Louis as he unplugs his hair dryer.  "You planning on showering with your clothes on?"

Louis defiantly unbuttons his shirt and throws it at Harry.  "No actually.  Just appreciating your gorgeous body you cocky prat."

"Appreciate away."  Harry outstretches both of his arms across the counter and then imitates a Playboy Dancer as he grinds his bum down the drawers, then wiggles it back upward again.

Louis can't even swallow properly.  "You..." 

And that's about as far as he gets before Harry strides passed him, giving him a sharp slap to the bum.

"Fucking shit!"  Louis closes his eyes at the enhanced pain and rubs at his bum.

"Oh fuck!"  Harry runs back up to him.  "I totally forgot.  I'm so sorry, I'm such a dick.  Are you okay?"

"Yeah, no I'm fine."  Louis tries to massage out the pain.  "Damn, I just... didn't expect so much strength from your hand."

Harry runs his hands up and down Louis' arms.  "Sorry.  Used to doing it to myself...  Are you okay?  I can get you something?  A Naproxen?"

"No, no.  I'm good.  It's gone now."  Louis lifts his eyebrows to try and look livelier.  "All good in the neighborhood.  Please let me shower in peace."

"Wait."  Harry gives him puppy dog eyes, and Louis doesn't really like where this is about to head if Harry's giving him that look.  "Let me kiss it better."

Louis' face feels like it's just been smashed into the Sahara on a midsummer's day.  "Sure."

Harry spins Louis around so that Louis is facing himself in the mirror.  His face looks redder than he would care to admit.  He closes his eyes because this really isn't a big deal.  Harry's just-

Harry's pulling down his pants.

Louis feels the overwhelming need to cover up because he's staring at himself naked in a giant room with Harry kneeling by his backside.  "God, Jesus, Harry-"

Harry nips at his skin.  "Is that the new Holy Trinity then?"  He places a soft kiss to Louis' hipbone, and then down the muscle divot on his bum.

"Fuck- just let me like shower first or something.  Just-" Louis is completely flustered and Harry is completely too close to new places for him to feel comfortable.

"It's just skin."  Harry rubs a handful of Louis' bum cheek in his hand.  "Actually, it's your skin, so it's even better."

Louis swats his hands away and takes some steps away while simultaneously covering himself.  "Just- go change.  I need to shower.  I literally can't think right now- just-" Louis looks around him for the shower, and realizes it's an open shower without any walls or curtains.  The floor is angled towards a drain, and there is actually no privacy in this bathroom

Harry stands up and stretches.  "Whatever you say."  He finally graces Louis with solitude when he goes back into the giant walk-in closet.

Louis feels.  He feels a little violated.  Mostly because there's nowhere to cover up or get shelter.  He's used to the cozy privacy of his flat.  Lots of nooks and places to snuggle into. 

Everything here is so open and revealing. 

It's unnerving to say the least.

Louis hurries over to the shower head to take the quickest shower of his life.  And now that he's up close and personal with Harry's toiletries, he does see that, in fact, Harry has an empty cologne bottle with French script engraved into it sitting next to his shampoo. 

He laughs about it for a moment, but then is effectively shut up when he squirts some into his hands and is overwhelmed with the scent that he associates with all the wonderful things about Harry. 

It makes him sad and happy.  Warm and cold.  In love, and afraid. 

He finishes his shower as quick as humanly possible with hair that now smells like love and promises, and blow dries his body to dry off faster, ignoring the fact that the floors are heated.

Once he's properly dry and his fringe is fluffy as fuck, he searches through some drawers until he finds mousse he can steal to tame his hair.  It's been a few days since he's shaved, so he probably actually looks a solid 25 today, but at least he doesn't have his full facial beard growing in.

He definitely should have planned better for the event. 

What's done is done though, and Louis braves his way into the closet.

Harry's just pulling on some shoes to complete an outfit that consists of navy blue slacks and a button-up shirt with novelty fish on them.

Louis ignores the fond that hits him harder than Harry's hand ever will and dresses in the pile of clothes he designated for himself.

Harry waits in the chaise until Louis finishes. 

Louis turns around, grateful as ever that they're finally clothed, and opens his arms to display the outfit.  "Will I pass?"

Harry pulls a funny face.  "You know, I always loathed that shirt, but you make it look absolutely, completely, sexy.  I would pay you to wear that every day."

Louis isn't really used to these kinds of compliments, specifically in this category, so he mostly just smiles and takes it as a good sign.  "Thank you.  Your shirt is... fun."

Harry grins like Louis' just shared a secret with him.  "I know?  Isn't it?"

Louis chuckles.  "Well we should probably get down there before your mother pounds your door down."

Harry gives him a hum of approval and then a peck to the lips.  "Probably a good idea."

Louis wonders if he looks as much as he feels like a fish out of water.

~~~


	33. Chapter 32

~~~

They make their way down, and Gemma, Cooper, and Desmond are all in the sitting room waiting for them.  Louis tries to act mostly invisible.

They are polite as always, and welcome Louis a little friendlier this time.  The dinner conversation feels less centric around him, and more normal this time.  He's not sure how he feels about that.

After dessert, there's a small silence, and Harry is looking rather affectionately at Louis.  Maybe he's looking too far into it, but after the small whispering incident last time, he's more than a little paranoid about the whole thing.

He sets his spoon down before speaking up.  "So, who plays the harp then?"

Everyone's attention turns to Gemma and Gemma visibly restrains from rolling her eyes.  Louis would laugh at her discomfort, but empathizes a little too well to allow himself to do so.

"That would be me."  She begrudgingly admits.

Cooper rubs her on the shoulder.  "You should play something for him sugar.  It's been ages since I've heard you play."

"I'm only playing if Haz plays with me.  This will not end in a solo performance by me."  Gemma compromises.

Harry lights up.  "Definitely!"

Louis is truly intrigued at this point at what arrangement Gemma and Harry have prepared at the tip of their fingers that includes a harp and ocarina.

Anne looks put off, and Desmond looks proud and amused as they migrate into the music room.  He takes a seat next to Cooper and makes sure to put a good deal of space between the both of them.  Gemma takes a seat behind her harp and Harry sits down at the piano.

Harry has never mentioned anything about playing piano.

Harry turns around to face Louis.  "I should probably preempt this with a few things.  Firstly, my parents require that we learn a 'classical' musical instrument."  He uses air quotes.  "Secondly, they said I only had to take lessons as long as it took me to memorize three hours' worth of ambient music and one performance piece for work parties."

Desmond chuckles a little and Cooper nudges him from the side.

"So, Gemma and I collaboratively decided on what we were going to learn."  He nods towards Gemma who is grinning slyly at Louis.

"So, I, Harry Styles, and Gemma Styles, present to you, the Twilight Princess Soundtrack as arranged by Koji Kondo."  Harry does a half bow from the seat. 

Louis gives him a polite golf clap, completely charmed by Harry's ingenuous ways.

"Let's just do section 93 then loop to 113, then back to the motif cadence."  Gemma instructs.

Harry nods in agreement and swivels his legs over the piano bench again.

Louis clasps his hands in his lap with a shit eating grin on his face as Harry's hands glide over the piano keys.  The way Gemma seamlessly enters in for her part adds a beautiful blend that Louis never would have expected from a piano and harp. 

The first section is very somber and sad.  Louis only played Twilight Princess with Zayn once, and isn't familiar enough to pick out where in the game the song comes from. 

Harry leads the change in music as Gemma follows suit.  The next piece is lighter and mystical.  It's only a measure in before Louis recognizes it as the Zora's Domain theme.  The familiarity of it makes his skin itch.  Making him indecisive on whether he wants to steal Harry and snuggle in on his couch the rest of the night and play Zelda, or give Harry a thousand kisses on his neck while he continues to play the piano.

The song fades into the motif that he recognizes as the main theme.  It's amazing and wonderful, and a hundred colors and feelings that Louis could never put into words, but he's so glad he's experiencing it.

When they finish their performance, Louis stands up and claps. 

Cooper and Desmond clap along with him and Harry and Gemma stand up to do a silly bow.

"That was so- that was _incredible_ Haz.  And Gemma too."  Louis beams.  "Brilliant job, both of you."

Harry looks like he's just been awarded an international piano trophy and it takes everything in Louis to not run up and squeeze him to death.

Harry turns to Anne.  "Mum, I'm going to show Louis my ocarina, then we'll head out.  I'm going to drive back with Lou, and I'll have Vaughn drop me at Gemma's tonight."  He turns quickly to Gemma.  "If that's still okay Gem."  He gives her wide eyed pleading.

Gemma holds a good poker face and nods.  "Of course Haz.  My spare bedroom is always open for you."

Cooper wraps an arm around Gemma and gives her a light squeeze.  Desmond looks down at the floor.  Anne looks unconvinced.

Harry takes the silence as a confirmation and tries to nonchalantly leave up to his room.  Louis follows.

Harry shuts the door behind them and plops down on his bed.  "Sorry."

Louis sits beside him.  "Nothing to be sorry for love."  He threads his fingers through Harry's curls.  "Now, I believe I'm deserving of a long promised private concert from you."

"I only promised you I'd play for you today."  Harry pulls his instrument from the nightstand drawer nonetheless. 

"Dear, the moment you told me you played the ocarina is the moment you promised me a private concert."  Louis teases.  "Now seduce me with your nerdiness."

"Don't make fun.  My nerdiness has gotten me this far."  Harry winks.

Louis steals a quick kiss from him and then sits cross legged on Harry's bed.

Harry sits, mirroring him and brings the ocarina up to his lips. 

Louis is already turned on if he's being honest.

Harry's eyelashes flick off his cheek and tickle his eyebrow as he meets Louis' gaze and blows into the wind instrument.  A shiver runs through Louis' spine at watching Harry's fingers lift and press against the holes of the ceramic.

He, predictably, starts off with the Song of Storms simply to get an eye roll out of Louis.  After that, he bridges it into the Sun's Song, and then the Song of Time. 

Louis wonders how the hell he managed to find someone as uniquely perfect as Harry.

Harry lowers the instrument from his mouth.  "Do you want me to keep going or-"

Louis' already leaned forward and pressed Harry back onto the bed.  Their lips meet hungrily and Louis can't feel enough of Harry quick enough.  Harry reciprocates and yanks the tails of Louis' shirt out of his slacks. 

Harry keeps his touch gentle, but the energy he gives off undermines the careful touches.  Louis roughs Harry up a bit by yanking open some buttons on his (ridiculous) fish shirt and sucking a hickey into his shoulder. 

Harry grips into his bum and Louis grinds down on Harry, gasping at the contact. 

Louis tugs at Harry's pants.  "Off, off, off."

Harry flips them over so that he's straddling Louis and shucks off his pants.  He unbuttons Louis' shirt shortly after, followed by his slacks.  Louis reaches down to grab at Harry's length, but Harry's already moved himself further down the bed and is lowering his mouth onto Louis' cock.

Louis looks upward at the fish swimming over his head and tries not to laugh. 

Harry notices all the same though and releases Louis from his mouth.  "Something funny?"

"No."  Louis pulls him upwards to kiss him on the lips.  "I just love you is all.  I love you so much Harry."  The words shoot fireworks through his body and he wants to keep saying them over and over.

That makes Harry melt into the kiss and he feels a brief hug before Harry's going down on him again.  So that's the end of that conversation and Louis is definitely not scared.  Hormones and Harry's mouth aside, he would say the emotion he feels is a cross between hopeful and secure.

Harry adds a hand to the base of Louis' length while jerking himself off, and Louis grabs a pillow to smother his face with because he's about to start whining helplessly and pitifully.

"God, Haz- ah-" He fights to keep his hips pinned to the mattress.

Harry abruptly stops and Louis wonders if he's coming.  "Fuck- Haz-" Louis tosses the pillow to the side so he can watch.

Harry is not coming.

Harry looks like he's just been killed and his corpse is kneeled between his legs, nothing more than the haunted ghost of his past occupying his body. 

Harry's not looking at Louis though.  He's looking at Anne who is standing in the doorway with Gemma and Cooper.

Louis feels a bit like he's died again.  Like he's actually watching all of this happen from the corner of the room.  Watching his own chest heave up and down.  Watching Harry completely paralyzed with fear.  Watching the three in the doorway and just grateful that Desmond isn't amongst them otherwise he'd end up in the hospital again.

No one reacts or says anything.  No one tears their eyes from Louis or Harry. 

Feeling exposed in the bathroom earlier honestly felt more revealing than this moment; because this moment, specifically, surpasses all thresholds of cognitive thinking to where Louis doesn't actually care if he's spread out almost naked on Harry's bed with Harry naked on top of him.

"You have five minutes to collect your things before you never set foot in this house again."  Anne turns and walks away with Cooper and Gemma looking mortified and following behind.

It takes Louis a couple seconds to realize that she wasn't talking to him.  She was talking to Harry.

Louis' brain kick starts into action and he sits up and holds Harry's hand.  "Hey, it's okay.  She didn't mean it- we'll go down and talk to her okay?"  It's a complete and total lie.  There's no talking to Anne.  Louis doesn't have to have known her his entire life to know that it would be the last word spoken to Harry for God knows how long.

Harry's still staring at the doorway, so Louis shoves Harry off of him to reassemble his clothes. 

"What do you need Haz?  What do you need to bring with you?"  Louis' mentally counting down the seconds until he gets brained by Desmond.

" _Harry_."  Louis pleads, and that gets Harry's attention.

"I don't have anything here I care about.  It's all at my storage unit."  He says in monotone.

"Surely there's- there's _something_."  Louis looks around frantically and picks up Harry's ocarina.  He shoves it in his pant pocket.  "Clothes?  Journals?  Special items?"

Harry just shakes his head.

Louis shakes Harry by the shoulders.  "Put your fucking prick away Harry.  We need to leave before I get lynched."

Harry does as Louis says, then Louis drags him downstairs by the hand.

Harry still looks dazed and confused.  Louis fixes his gaze to the floor, decidedly not going to even try and show any kind of remorse for Harry's parents.  Maybe if Louis had proper parents he'd have a little more sympathy for them.  But as it turns out, he doesn't, so...

He feels peculiarly in control of the whole situation now, and pulls Harry from his family's gaze and into the garage.  "Haz, where's Vaughn?"

"I don't-" Harry is still, apparently, in shock.

Louis pats Harry down to find his phone and searches through his contacts until he comes across Vaughn.

Vaughn answers on the first ring.  "Hello!"

"We're in the garage.  I need you to take us to Harry's storage unit.  We'll be in the car."  Louis clips.

"Right away Louis."  Vaughn hangs up without further question.

Louis shoves Harry into the backseat of the car.  He's about to slide in after Harry, but he sees Anne trailing after Vaughn; Anne looking like she's emperor of the world, and Vaughn looking distressed.

"With all due respect ma'am-" Vaughn tries.

"You heard me.  Harry is _my_ child.  You are relieved of your duties and no longer allowed to take him anywhere, unless you'd like to be classified as a kidnapper."  Anne hisses.

Louis stalks up to them and points at Anne.  "Vaughn works for Harry and he will be driving us.  You have no say in the matter since Harry is actually 19 and pays him with his own damn money."

Anne laughs.  "You have no idea what you're talking about.  Your kind is too perverted to comprehend these matters.  Harry doesn't have any of his own money, and as of 10 minutes ago is cut off from his trust fund and ownership in the business, which Vaughn _and_ the car fall under."

"Great then, I hire Vaughn.  And the car is in Harry's name, so tough luck getting that to hold in a court of law."  Louis really just shot into the dark with the car comment, but he feels like it's a safe assumption all things considered.

"He will never be welcome back here."  Anne refuses to look anything less than disgusted.  "I never thought my own son would choose to burn in hell with the likes of you."

"Take it as a compliment, he wants to be where you'll be after we all keel over and die.  Happy Sabbath, and have a great life.  Vaughn?"  Louis proudly turns on his heel, not looking back.

He slams the car door shut behind him and Vaughn quickly gets into the driver's seat.  Without a word, they leave the Styles' residence. 

Harry spends the next 15 minutes with his face buried in his hands.  Harry stays in the car while Vaughn shows Louis the storage unit he keeps his things in.

The storage unit is enormous.  It essentially looks like a fully furnished house.  He understands why Harry told him everything is here. 

"Holy fuck."  Louis stares into the place that could probably be rented out as a studio apartment.

The only thing it's missing is a bed and oven.  But there's a full sectional sofa along with an additional loveseat.  There's a fridge in the corner by a makeshift griddle.  The microwave and nightstands have laser lights and lava lamps on top of them.  Hundreds of articles of clothing in and hung around a dresser with a dart board off to the side.  Lots of algae-looking beads and posters of Zelda, Queen, and one of David Bowie and one of George Clooney (to which Louis doesn't really know how to feel about).  There's a corner that is devoted entirely to marine wildlife.  There's a huge television and a bean bag full of stuffed animals in front of it.

All of that is sectioned off carefully by curtains that hide where his Honda Civic- or Bentley Mulsanne- depending on the day. 

"It's the childhood and teenage room Harry's parents never let him have."  Vaughn says ruefully.

"I can... see that."  Louis is still trying to take it all in.  He's already scanned the place a dozen times and has seen new things every time. 

"I only rented it for him until he turned 18.  On his birthday, he bought the business with the inheritance his grandfather left him."  Vaugh says.  "He always wanted to prove to his father that he could keep a business running."

Louis dry swallows.  "What... what does he need from here?  I mean, other than clothes."

"Honestly, clothing is probably the only thing he needs.  The only other thing he needed this place for was freedom from his parents and the freedom to be who he wants to be.  He has that freedom now."  Vaughn says.

Louis nods.  "Well.  Let's grab some handfuls then, yes?  We can always come back."

"That we can."  Vaughn leads the way over to where Harry's clothes are. 

Louis parts some shirts and his heart stops for a moment when he sees something move- only to realize it's his reflection.  He realizes that he buttoned his shirt up crooked and smiles at his reflection.

Then he focuses in on the mirror and realizes there are lipstick prints, of what Louis assumes to be Harry's lips, all along the border of the mirror; and off to the side written in more lipstick is: _George's Slut <3_

Louis pretends like he didn't just see that.

He grabs a handful of shirts from the hangers and a couple pairs of shoes on the floor.  He hauls them to the open trunk and throws them in next to buckets of other articles of clothing.

"I think just trousers, and then he will have a sufficient wardrobe."  Vaughn says.

Louis snorts.  "Already bigger than Zayn's and that's saying something."

Vaughn walks back to the dresser.  "I hear he has quite the impressive collection."

"You have no idea."  Louis grabs a pile of pants while Vaughn gets some shorts.

Trunk now stuffed to the brim with clothes, they close up the unit and drive towards Louis' flat. 

Louis scoots in closer to Harry and unbuckles his seatbelt so that Harry can sit in his lap.  Harry buries his face sideways into Louis' chest and clings onto his shirt.  Louis holds him close and pets his hair.

"D'you want to talk about it Hazza babe?"  Louis whispers into his hair.

Harry shakes his head and scoots closer into Louis.

"D'you want to stay at mine and Zayn's tonight?"  Louis asks.

Harry nods.

"D'you mind if I call Zayn and let him know what's happened?"  Louis asks gently.

Harry shakes his head again.

"Kay.  I love you."  Louis gives him a peck to the top of his head.

Harry mumbles an 'I love you too' into Louis' chest, and Louis fishes his phone out of his back pocket.

It's several rings before Zayn finally answers.  "Lewis baby.  Wassup?"

"Hey, you still with Lucas?"  Louis twirls a curl around his finger.

"Yep.  You guys coming home already?  I think- I think I'm still good to drive.  I can make it back and we can split a blunt if you're up for it."  Zayn slurs lightly.

"If you're not sure about driving just call a cab please.  Or just stay over at Lucas'.  I was just calling to let you know Harry's staying over."  Louis tries to be nonchalant, but knows it's completely weird for Louis to just call Zayn and let him know Harry is sleeping over.

Zayn giggles.  "Why are you calling to let me know something that's already happened?"

"He, um."  Louis wishes he could step out of the car for a second to talk to Zayn or something.  "He'll probably be staying for an extended period of time.  I'm not sure yet though.  He doesn't... really want to talk about it."

There's a sobered silence.  Then.  "I'll call a cab and be home in 20."

Louis breathes a small sigh of relief.  "See you soon."

The call ends and Harry's started sniffling and quivering. 

Louis rubs up and down his back and hums Somebody To Love softly into his ear to try and calm him.  There's a choked out breath that Louis thinks is just a strained laugh, so he continues humming it to him the rest of the ride home.

~~~


	34. Chapter 33

            

~~~

When they arrive back at the house, Louis has Vaughn wait in the car so it doesn't get stolen.

The house is open so Louis knows Zayn is already here.  If he didn't know by the open door, he would know by the way Zayn runs from the couch in the living room up to where Harry is still latched onto Louis' side.

"Haz, do you want some tea?"  Zayn looks Harry up and down and places a hand on his shoulder.

Harry shakes his head and then releases Louis to clasp onto Zayn.  Harry lets out another small sob as Zayn hugs him tightly, then picks him up and carries him over to the couch.

Louis is glad Zayn is here to help Harry through this too.  Harry needs all the support and love he can get right now.

Louis goes back out to the car to start making trips in with Harry's clothes.  He mostly throws everything on his bed, deciding to figure out where to put it in a minute.  By the sixth trip, everything is in his room and he's sweating profusely.  Harry looks like he's calmed down quite a bit with Zayn though, so that's good.

Louis tells Vaughn to drive the car somewhere other than Louis' driveway because even though he doesn't live in the ghetto, a Bentley will stick out like a cheetah in the arctic.  He exchanges numbers with Vaughn and thanks him a hundred times for his help.  Vaughn thanks Louis in return for being someone Harry can rely on.

Louis goes to his room next, assuming he'll have to get all Harry's shit moved at some point.

"Gohma, where the hell is all this going to fit?  I mean, it's not like I have that much stuff.  I just... don't have that much _space_."  Louis scratches the back of his head.

Well.  Only one way to make space.

Louis opens a couple armoire drawers that he hasn't opened in ages and piles his barely touched clothes onto the floor.  He does the same in his closet with his ancient dress shirts and the tux he wore for his parents' funeral.

He makes another trip outside, but this time to a box that he labels with 'charity'.  Now having some space to work with, he arranges Harry's clothes in his closet and armoire, secretly hoping that they stay hung there forever.   

He sticks the ocarina in the drawers he's designated for Harry, then changes into sweats and a tee.  He grabs a change of clothes for Harry and goes out into the living room.

Harry's asleep on Zayn's lap.

Louis sits next to Zayn.

"He's out."  Zayn says softly.

Louis leans back into the sofa.  "'S not going to be fun when he wakes up then.  I think he's been in shock this whole time."

"What happened anyway?"  Zayn continues threading his fingers through Harry's curls.

"Kind of embarrassing honestly."  Louis admits, and Zayn raises an eyebrow.  "I'm not really sure what happened.  I was smothering my face with a pillow while Haz was going down on me.  He stopped and when I looked to see why, his mum, sister, and the boyfriend were all standing in the doorway to his bedroom."

"Shit."  Zayn says.

"Yeah."  Louis blows a strand of hair off his face.

"His mum didn't really know, right?  That Harry's gay?"  Zayn asks.

"Not really.  Like, I think she knew, but she never _knew_.  And aside from that, she'd rather give up her mansion before admitting she had a gay son."  Louis smooths over the pile of clothes in Harry's lap.  "She said he had five minutes to get out, and I basically dragged him into the car.  Vaughn almost didn't make it since she decided to cut Harry off from all the family funds."

"So how'd you get all of his clothes that quickly?  Looks like it would've taken longer than five minutes."  Zayn says.

"Had Vaughn stop at his storage unit.  He keeps all of his personal stuff there.  Like, his room at his parents' house is like a mirage of what they think he is, but his storage unit is who he really is.  It's... it's..."  Louis runs a hand through his hair.  "God, I've hardly smoked today.  I need like 10 ciggies and a blunt right now."

Zayn nods.  "Go smoke a few and roll one.  I'll wake him up in a bit.  He'll want a good blaze tonight."

Louis does as suggested and paces the porch as he burns through five cigarettes.  He feels significantly better and decides on rolling a double blunt.  He'll have to get more cigars soon.  It's a shame really, that all the tobacco is going to waste.  Maybe he'll see if he can just buy cigar wrappings on the internet somewhere.

Now with a very fat blunt rolled, Louis plops down on the couch and smokes a sixth cigarette.  Zayn finally comes out with Harry, who has now changed into the sweats and tee, and takes his place in the middle of the sofa between Louis and Zayn.  Before they start, Zayn hands everyone a water bottle, requiring them to finish it.

Once Harry's finished, Louis offers the blunt to him first, and Harry takes it without argument.  They pass it around a couple dozen times, Harry smoking like his life depends on it, and Louis is hella high.  He maybe shouldn't have smoked quite so many cigarettes beforehand.

He skips a few turns, letting Harry and Zayn smoke their way into oblivion.  Louis loves watching it.  He could tell exactly six hits ago when Harry hit his optimal high.  Zayn got there two hits ago, and it's just bliss for all of them from here on out. 

He knows Harry is responsible and experienced enough at this point to know his limits with smoking, so he's not worried in the least.  There's still a sizable amount of blunt left, and a late night for them to enjoy it.

It's another slow hour of the three of them working the blunt until it's gone.  Louis is straight up baked, and he knows that Harry and Zayn are too.  Louis and Zayn don't even bother smoking a cigarette afterwards. 

Instead, they sprawl all the blankets and pillows across the living room floor to make a nest of softness.  Harry grabs his kale chips and shares them with Zayn.  Louis puts in Finding Nemo on their new 70-inch television and they fall asleep snuggling with each other.

~~~

Louis wakes up to the smell of heaven.

His eyes burn like hell, but his body still feels high.  It's been a long time since he's smoked so much weed that he wakes up feeling the after effects of a high.  It's positively wonderful. 

He can't decide if breakfast waffles or their comfortable floor bed will be more gratifying in the end.  He rubs the sleep from his eyes and sees that Harry's just woken up too. 

And Harry.  Well.  He looks completely snuggleable and irresistible.

Louis scoots closer to the ball of untamed curls and pulls Harry into his chest. 

He feels as soft as he looked.

Louis sighs and Harry wiggles his bum closer into Louis' body.

"How'd you sleep sexy love?"  Louis mumbles into his hair.

"'S'fucking good."  Harry grumbles lowly.  "'M s'hungry though; but I don't want t'get up."

Louis yawns.  "See if Zayn will carry you to the kitchen."

Harry reaches his hand above his head to pat around on the couch till he finds his phone.  Harry calls Zayn.

"Harry, I'm literally three meters away from you.  What do you need?"  Zayn calls from the kitchen.

Harry calls Zayn again and giggles.

Zayn comes over to kneel down by Harry.  "You realize you can just speak and I'd hear you?"

Harry buries his face into the soft pillow.  "Didn't wanna shout."

"What do you need then?"  Zayn rubs small circles into Harry's shoulder.

"Carry me to th'kitchen please?  'M s'hungry."  Harry says.

Zayn gives Harry a kiss on the forehead before scooping him up and taking him into the kitchen. 

Zayn returns moments later to kneel down next to Louis.  "How'd you sleep?"

"Fucking amazing.  Why are you awake already?"  Louis nuzzles into Zayn's thigh because it looks soft.

"Woke up early to have a spliff; and I knew if I was hungry, Harry would be starving."  Zayn pats Louis on the head.

"I love you so much.  Please don't ever leave my life."  Louis looks up at Zayn.  "Make me waffles every morning."

Zayn chuckles.  "Sure babe.  Do you want to stay home today or come into work?"

"Right now I want to stay here.  But after you guys leave, I'll want to be at work.  So."  Louis reasons with himself.

"Kay, you have to get up now then."  Zayn says.

"Can I bring Queen Gohma?"  Louis asks.

"No.  I don't want you getting bitten; or the platypodes attempting to eat her."  Zayn eases Louis out of the covers.

Louis sighs.  "Fine.  I'll just play with you and Harry instead."

Zayn picks him up and takes him over to the counter to sit him next to Harry.  Harry has his head laying in his arms on the counter, and Louis follows suit.

A minute later, waffles magically appear before them, and it's probably the most delicious meal Louis' ever had in his entire life. 

Harry eats five full Belgian waffles, and Louis is impressed as fuck, considering he only eats two.

They all pile into Zayn's car; Harry in the passenger seat, and Louis sprawls out in the back. 

"Is this what it feels like being in a fraternity?"  Louis wonders.  "Going into work feeling high as fuck from the Mary you smoked last night?"

Harry lolls his head backward to look at Louis.  "Probably.  But we're better than a fraternity because no one will steal our food.  Except Zayn.  He steals my kale chips."

"It's not called stealing when you offer them to me cunt."  Zayn flicks Harry on the arm.

"Ouch."  Harry smiles.

Louis laughs.

"I got flogged once."  Harry says.

Louis laughs harder.

"Was it scary?"  Zayn asks, looking over his shoulder to change lanes.

Harry shakes his head.

"I bit off part of a girl's nipple once."  Zayn says.  "It still looks funky to this day."

Louis holds his abs because he's laughing too hard.

"She still sends you pictures?"  Harry asks.

"I told her it was for scientific purposes."  Zayn says.

"I have nothing to contribute to this conversation."  Louis smiles at the ceiling.

"I dressed like a girl once, then jerked off to myself in the mirror."  Harry says.

"Is that why you have a thing for George Clooney?"  Louis thinks he probably didn't ask that right.  But.  Too late now.

"I like George Clooney.  And I think he'd like me in a frilly pink tutu."  Harry says like it's supposed to prove his point.  "I met him once."

"Did you fuck him?"  Zayn asks.

"No."  Harry droops his chin to his chest.  "I asked him and he said he didn't swing my way.  But I secretly think he would have if he'd seen me in my tutu."

"I think you'd look better in a purple tutu.  Pink is so mainstream."  Louis says.  "Plus then you could match the hickies I give you."

Harry seems to take this into consideration.  "I could get a purple tutu."

Louis giggles.  "No thank you."

"I fucked a politician's wife once.  Derek and I made a house call for this guy's dog.  She got him distracted with something and basically dragged me upstairs."  Zayn says.

"I stuck a Sharpie up my ass once to impress one of my dad's coworkers."  Harry says.

Louis snorts then rolls over to look at Zayn.  "I cried the first time Zayn used a vibrator on me."

Zayn nods.  "'Twas equally traumatizing for both of us.  Also the first and last time that ever happened."

"Aww."  Harry coos.

"Harry, I kind of worship your body."  Louis says dreamily.

"I worship your existence."  Harry says back just as pensively.

"I love you Harry."  Zayn blurts out, sounding a lot more anxious than relaxed.

Harry easily leans over and nips Zayn's shoulder.  "I love you too Zayn."

Louis closes his eyes and smiles.

~~~

The day in the Platitat passes extremely slowly.  Marti stays aloof from the three of them all day.  Harry is suppressing giggles through most of the morning presentation.  By lunch time, the after effects of everyone's high is starting to wear off and the light headache hits them all at the same time. 

After an extreme shot of teas and coffee's over lunch, they're all reinvigorated and ready to make up the work they didn't do from the morning.  Zayn gives an excellent presentation, and Louis pets Dez a couple times.

As soon as Zayn excuses Marti, Louis and Harry attach like magnets.  And, well, Perry too.  Louis can't say he's ever snogged someone with a platypus wrapped around his foot.  It's a nice addition he thinks.

Harry tastes like delicious promises and the warm comfort of their floor bed this morning. 

Zayn leans down to try and pick up Perry, but he hisses at Zayn.

Harry breaks away from Louis' lips to scold him.  "Bad Perry!  No!"  He points a finger at him.  "Be nice to Zayn."

Perry visibly curls in on himself and Louis laughs. 

Harry picks him up and kisses his fur a few times.  "I still love you.  Just don't do it again." 

And Louis is kind of amazed and a little envious at how much love Harry has and freely shares with others.  He admires it greatly.

Harry puts Perry away, and then they all pile into the car same as they did that morning.  Harry has seemed content as a cucumber all day, and neither Louis nor Zayn question him about the events from yesterday. 

Louis shows Harry Phineas and Ferb while Zayn makes dinner for them.  Louis thinks he'll probably end up in charge of a lot of meals in a row since Zayn has been pulling more than his weight with the housework lately.

After dinner, they all have a smoke, and it's easy between the three of them.

~~~


	35. Chapter 34

A/N: :) :) :)

~~~

Things go in a similar fashion for another three months as spring passes and summer sets in. Garland, Christmas trees, and twinkly lights have started sprouting up around every corner.

Harry is as much a part of the house as Louis and Zayn have ever been. More clothes have been moved in, and lots of weed has been smoked. Harry is barely taller than Louis now and starting to fill out more.

Harry ends up talking to his father about a couple things and finds out that he still, in fact, owns his trust fund, but has been taken off their will. Harry gets a "small" passive income from owning the storage unit, and gets a monthly check from the stock he owns in his father's company. Needless to say, Harry's never been pressed for money.

After a long conversation with Vaughn, he resigns as Harry's driver, but not without a sizable exit bonus from Harry. Harry ends up keeping his Mulsanne at the storage unit along with all his other paraphernalia, and parks his Civic in its permanent spot on the street in front of Louis, Zayn, (and now Harry's) flat.

Harry's had no problem financially continuing with school either. The start of a semester had come and passed. Harry wasn't kidding when he said he got all of his schoolwork done in the first two weeks of a semester. He was up almost 24 hours a day working on projects and papers. He's written a few with the help of Zayn, and sometimes the help of Louis depending on who had more experience with the topic.

The house slowly and suspiciously gets upgraded day by day. Louis notices when he is idly stirring pasta on the stovetop and goes to flatten out the peeling linoleum floor with his foot, and there's nothing to flatten out. In fact, the entire flooring had been replaced with tile.

After that, it's a new set of Cutco knives sitting on the counter. Then it's the small appliances one-by-one turning into a new, shiny, stainless steel ones. Louis and Zayn mostly don't say anything about it because none of them have an emotional connection to their appliances, but the day they come home to a new stainless steel refrigerator, matching oven, and granite countertops, Louis and Zayn put their foot down and tell him to stop.

Things are mostly peaceful. The only fights are over housework. Harry, having had a maid for his whole life, fails pretty miserably in keeping up to the standard that Louis and Zayn have. It's not that Louis and Zayn are even Nazis about messes... they just know how to pick up after themselves when they leave something out. Harry is under the impression that when he throws his jumper on the island that someone will come along after him to pick it up and hang it on the coat rack. Louis and Zayn let it sit on the island for four days until they address it.

Harry has been kicked out of the kitchen after trying to stir pasta in a Teflon coated pot with a fork. Louis and Zayn have had to explain how to keep cookware nice, along with the importance of greasing pots and pans, and washing dishes right after you use them instead of letting them 'soak' as Harry claimed he was doing.

Zayn has a minor blowout when he finds out that Harry's been sneaking Kraft shells and cheese into the house and eating it for a midnight snack. He didn't care so much that Harry was eating it as much as the fact that Louis was eating it too, looking completely guilty and remorseful. They all make up though, as they do after any row they have. The grudges never last long, and there's a communal hug within a couple minutes of talking it over.

They play at Blue Grounds a handful of times. Zayn finally drags Harry on stage for their most recent gig, and he harmonized with Zayn through a couple songs. He also happened to have his ocarina on him that night (as per Louis' request), and Louis and Zayn successfully pressured him into playing for the bar full of excited and buzzing patrons. They got tipped heavily that night.

They spend some more time hanging out with Liam after gigs at the bar and they get to know him better. He hits it off really well with the three of them, and Louis and Harry don't miss the sideways glances Zayn and Liam are always giving each other. Zayn suspiciously starts spending more time texting on his phone after that.

The changes in Louis' life have only been a ripple effect of what's gone on in Harry's life. It's nice, not feeling like he's always the one in the spotlight having good or bad things happen to him. He likes giving the attention to Harry and encouraging, supporting, and loving him through all of his things.

Louis' pain threshold has finally started noticeably going down. Louis swears was the extra amounts of supplements he's been taking, but Zayn swears was Louis' increasing desire to give Harry a proper blow job.

Which. The moment he discovered he could deep throat a banana again, he made Zayn wait in the car while Louis gave Harry a blowjob before work that day.

There have been lots of hand jobs and blowjobs exchanged between the three since. It's never been odd, and they all seem to mutually be in sync with each other's moods well enough to know the limits and boundaries (or lack thereof) each time.

Harry sleeps in Louis' bed the majority of the nights. On the occasion where they have a disagreement about housework, Harry goes to sleep on the living room couch and wakes up in Zayn's bed.

Once a month, they designate a night where they all smoke a double blunt, make popcorn popped off the cob, watch Phineas and Ferb, and fall asleep on their living room floor after getting each other off.

So it's not weird at all when the three of them are lazily sucking each other off in Louis' bed.

Louis' enjoying the hell out of Harry's cock in his mouth, Harry's deep throating Zayn, and Zayn is gently blowing Louis.

Zayn's mouth pops off Louis. "Lou, Haz wants it harder. He's doing the thing he does when he wants it harder."

Louis huffs lightly then, gives into defeat because he's not about to argue over sexual matters. Harry only gets antsy and extra massochisticy when Zayn is in the bedroom with them. Any time it's just Louis and Harry, Harry is perfectly content with what Louis gives him.

"Switch me then." Louis sits up on his knees.

Harry rolls over on his back. "Wait."

Louis and Zayn look at Harry.

Harry idly strokes at his nipples. "Lou, has it been long enough for 'eventually' yet?"

Louis furrows his eyebrows. "What?"

"Can we have sex yet?" Harry asks like he's not currently sprawled naked across Louis' midnight blue duvet with Louis and Zayn staring at him.

"I think that's probably the bluntest dismissal I've ever had." Zayn laughs lightly and gets off the bed.

"No!" Harry sits up. "I mean like. Louis could- well, I could blow you while Louis does me." Harry explains.

Zayn looks like a panda that's been thrown into Central Square and he glances from Harry back to Louis. "Why the fuck would you want me to be here during your first time? Is Louis even ready yet?"

Louis opens his mouth to protest because he still feels conflicted about the whole ordeal. Louis and Zayn have had sex a couple times while Harry watches, but Louis and Harry still haven't had sex. It's just never felt... right.

He decides to ask a question in return. "Why _would_ you want Zayn here for our first time?" Saying it out loud gives him a small comforting warmth about the situation that he hasn't felt before.

Harry shrugs. "The only time you're fully comfortable to have sex is when Zayn is involved. So why not involve him the first time? It's not like there's a rule against it or anything."

Which, no, there's not. But he thinks it's maybe like an unwritten rule or something.

"How does Zayn feel about it?" Louis looks to Zayn to take control of the situation. They're all down now, so they may as well take some time to talk about the situation.

Zayn is deep in thought as he sits back down on the bed. "I suppose I'd be fine with it if Louis' ready. I don't want any of us doing something we're not comfortable with though."

All eyes are on Louis again, which he's really not too fond of. In the back of his mind though, he knew this day was inevitable. Louis has always been the only one holding back sexually, not because he's not ready. Well, maybe partly. But he's just... not great with change.

He's reminded of the time months ago though, when he first invited Harry to Blue Grounds. He was so nervous and fearful of opening up to him. After letting go of the fear though, it turned out to be one of the best things he ever did.

It's not like he doesn't trust Harry, because he does; and it's not like he doesn't love Harry either. It would be a defining point in their relationship though, and that means there's a new level of commitment in Louis' mind.

He supposes now is probably as good of time as any to take another step into the dark.

"Yeah actually. We can do that. I..." Louis thinks back to the last time he made any kind of intimate purchase. "I don't have any condoms though. Z, you have some right?"

"I haven't had sex with anyone since Haz moved in and I had just run out. You're the only person I've never used a condom with." Zayn chews at his fingernail. "When's the last time you got tested Haz?"

Harry rests his head back onto the comforter. "Years ago. After the silver fox saga. Haven't had sex since. I'm clean."

"The _silver_ \- God, the images Harry- _no_." Zayn runs a hand through his soft hair that's falling onto his forehead. "Your guys' sex lives are so fucking weird."

"Hey, you're a part of it. I wouldn't be knocking it." Louis teases.

Zayn rolls his eyes. "Right, my bad. In any case, we're all clean then. Or, I can run to the store for condoms if Louis' uncomfortable bare backing."

God, why does it always come down to Louis being the decision maker?

Such hard decisions.

It's not about the disease thing in the first place anyway. He would love every inch of Harry regardless of anything he's had. For Louis, it mostly comes down to accepting the fact that he will be the last person in Harry. If he's not, then he wants to like, protect himself from what other people will be inside of as well. In an intimate way more than a physical one.

He knows he trusts Harry though, and in the deep parts of his heart, he hopes that he and Harry will be each other's last. He trusts that they are long lasting.

"No. No condom, it's fine." Louis decides. "Wait- um, lube?" He looks back to Zayn who normally has a huge stockpile of said product.

Harry sits up again. "Or you could rim me."

"Sorry?" Louis asks.

"Lube is like, makes it _too_ smooth all the time. I like saliva because it gets rougher after the initial slickness wears off." Harry says.

Louis bites at his lip and looks at Zayn. "I don't..." He has an idea of how to do it, but he's never actually _done_ it. Nor has he had it done to him.

"I can start him off and you can finish... if you want?" Zayn offers.

Louis nods and sits back.

Harry too-eagerly flips himself onto his hands and knees. Zayn positions behind him and starts off by rubbing and biting at Harry's ass. Zayn spreads Harry's cheeks apart and then lowers his face to spit.

Zayn makes it look really easy. It's all just different tongue movements and keeping the area moist. Harry has no complaints or comments aside from some breathy gasps.

The longer he watches Zayn, the more excited he gets. So when Zayn flicks his eyes over to Louis, questioning if he's ready, Louis nods assuredly.

Louis takes Zayn's place. He rubs Harry's perfectly formed waist beneath his hands and kisses down his spine vertebrae by vertebrae. Harry's back relaxes as it arches downward. When Louis gets to Harry's tailbone, he hesitates to let himself enjoy the moment.

He and Harry synchronously take a breath. It's on the exhale when Louis first tastes Harry, and Harry sighs contentedly.

Doing this for Harry is... exhilarating.

It feels private and intimate and so solely Harry and Louis.

Harry feels and tastes like everything wonderful, and Louis wonders why the hell he hasn't ever done this before. Hasn't so much as _thought_ about it. Now, though, he thinks it may be the only thing he'll think about ever again.

He continues to kiss and lick and taste a part of Harry that is more perfect than he could imagine. Then there's a point where he remembers he has to prep Harry for what's to come.

He's only ever experimented around with his fingers once or twice when he was younger, but left every other time up to Zayn or Mark. The couple times Louis had ever been in charge of prepping his partner was the few times he did Mark.

So it's not a scary thing, but it's definitely a rusty memory to draw on his personal experience. It's not like there's anything to worry about anyway. Harry or Zayn would let him know if he didn't do it sufficiently enough.

Along with his tongue, he breaches a finger in and Harry acts like he barely feels it. He decides on adding another finger alongside the first, and _that_ elicits a reaction from Harry. His body freezes and he groans.

Louis pauses his actions. "Too much?

"No! No, no. Feels really good. You're amazing." Harry mumbles from the head of the bed.

"You're amazing." Louis gives the tip of Harry's tailbone a small kiss. "So amazing."

After he's worked two fingers vigorously, he can't decide if he needs to add a third or not. He looks down at himself, then back at how thick his fingers are.

He decides on adding a third. Not because he's vain. He just wants to keep it safe.

When he finishes, he makes sure Harry is well slicked up and then looks over at Zayn. Zayn is looking hungrily at Harry, and Louis wonders if Harry or Zayn will ever admit how badly they want to fuck each other. He wonders if either of them will ever ask for permission to do so. He wonders if he'd ever be okay with it.

Louis shakes the thoughts away and motions for Zayn to join them on the bed.

Zayn is kneeling with Harry's mouth in between his legs already, and Zayn and Louis make eye contact over the arch of Harry's back. It's complete and it's comforting.

Louis eases himself inside Harry, all the time watching Zayn for a silent reassurance. Zayn's face increases in pleasure as Harry's mouth goes slack with a moan.

Louis takes his time. He watches all of his movements carefully. He watches Harry's movements carefully. The way their bodies move together and the way it looks when Louis fills Harry with everything he has to give.

He lets his hands explore every inch from Harry's toes to his mid back. He loves the way Harry's skin glistens as his fingers drag over its sweaty surface. He loves the way Harry's muscles tighten and relax with the mere drawn out length of his thrust.

His eyes travel up the length of Harry's resplendent back to the top where his curls are flattened down and splayed against the tips of his shoulders. Harry looks so fucking beautiful and Louis feels so fucking lucky that he gets to see Harry like this.

He lets his eyes linger before traveling upward to where Zayn's torso shows. Then up to his face where his eyes are shut in bliss and his head is tilted back.

Zayn looks just as stunning as Harry. Zayn, who Louis has known since his childhood, has grown into one of the most beautiful men Louis has ever seen, second only to Harry.

Louis looks back down at Harry and feels just a little desperate. A little needy to know what it feels like to come inside of Harry. The feeling propels him to switch from his slow pace to a quicker one.

Both Harry and Zayn take quick notice.

Louis snaps his hips quicker into Harry, and notes that Zayn has started fucking Harry's mouth. His adrenaline continues to build along with his stirring orgasm, and Harry sounds like he's having all sorts of trouble breathing around Zayn. It takes a second for Louis to realize that Zayn has since wrapped a hand around the underside of Harry's throat.

Because he has to, he asks. "Haz, you doing okay?"

Zayn's attention is fixed on him with a small smirk. It catches Louis off guard because he doesn't really know why Zayn is smirking at him.

It's another second before there's a wet gasp from Harry. Now, Louis' only seen porn only a handful of times, mostly because he thought it's what he was supposed to do, before he found out that he could not give less of a rat's ass about it. Hearing Harry in the next moments reminds him so vividly of a particular terribly acted out porn video he watched once.

Harry honestly sounds like he's whining and coming at the same time. " _Yeah_. Oh, I'm _so_ _good_. Oh my _God_."

Okay.

So the smirk makes sense then. Zayn was five steps ahead and knew Harry would eat up every moment of whatever he's doing.

Louis maintains eye contact with Zayn. He bites his lip then reaches his hand up as far as it will go on Harry's back, digs his nails in as hard as he can, and drags them down to the base of his tailbone.

Harry whimpers and whines as his back bows so tight that it looks ready to shoot an arrow. Louis admires the bright pink marks he's made and then looks back up at Zayn who isn't smirking anymore.

Louis digs his fingernails into Harry's hips as he reaches his limit. He watches Zayn as he falls apart in the man whom they both love.

His orgasm feels like bliss. He buckles over into the curve of Harry's back to catch his breath. A few moments later, he pulls out and rolls to the side of Harry. He's vaguely aware that neither Zayn nor Harry have finished, so he decides to instruct them further.

"Take my place Z." Louis flicks his eyes upward at Zayn.

Zayn open his mouth as if to protest out of principle. Except, they all know each other well enough to already run through all of the comments, questions, or retorts any of them could come up with for this specific situation. Plus, he can see in Zayn's eyes something that looks like he's just been offered a one-time pass for something he might not ever get the chance to do again.

Louis has conflicting emotions watching that flit across Zayn's face. He feels unfair to have entitlement of Harry. Harry isn't one to be owned. Zayn feels just as strongly towards Harry as Louis does, and just because he had an unspoken 'first claim' doesn't mean Harry should end up with Louis. Maybe in reality Harry and Zayn are better off together.

It certainly seems as much while Louis watches Zayn fuck Harry into the mattress like it's the last thing he'll ever do, and Harry taking it like he lives for it.

It's a long 10 minutes, and Louis wonders if tonight will end up being the first and last time he gets to have sex with Harry. It would make sense honestly. Louis has never held onto amazing things. Zayn deserves a happy ending. And Harry. Harry deserves to have everything he could ever want.

Harry collapses onto Louis' duvet with white smeared up his torso and a couple dozen bright pink handprints on his ass. Zayn lays across the foot of the bed, catching his breath and sweeping his sweaty fringe from his forehead.

It would be downright unfair if Louis asked Zayn to sleep in his own bed tonight so that he could have some alone time with Harry, because even Louis knows the importance of after-sex-cuddling. Maybe he'll stay home tomorrow and then after work, take Harry out to the beach where they can talk in private.

"I don't know about you guys, but I certainly want to sleep under the covers tonight." Louis shimmies under the duvet.

Harry and Zayn follow suit.

They all fall asleep spooning each other.

~~~


	36. Chapter 35

A/N: Let's be honest, you guys are probably going to get 3+ updates weekly on this story now. I'm working on getting it all uploaded because afterwards, I will be starting on the Purple Reign sequel :) 

As always, THANK YOU for the bookmarks, kudos, comments, and hits! Especially my baes GeekyKhaleesi, Jesse, and Kaelyn (soz I know that's spelled wrong) because I think you guys are the reason for 90% of my comment section and I love it :). Thank you to everyone else who leaves comments too- I love seeing what you think after each chapter and being able to experience your reactions with you :)

Twitter: [@LemonSuccubus](http://www.twitter.com/lemonsuccubus) or my personal is [@dannieybarra](http://www.twitter.com/dannieybarra)

I also have a Tumblr, Instagram, and Wattpad as LemonSuccubus and a Snapchat, Insta, and Tumblr as Dannie Ybarra :)

-Dannie xxx

  
~~~

The next morning, Louis wakes up to a bed of Harry and the late morning sun.

"Haz?" Louis shakes him on the shoulder to wake him up.

"Yeah babe?" Harry rolls over.

"Where's Zayn?" Louis knows that it's like asking where the Eiffel tower is, but it's the only thing that his brain can translate into words.

"He left for work. Told me not to come in today." Harry says. "He said he's staying with a friend tonight too."

Fucking God damn Zayn.

He knows.

Louis wishes for once that he wasn't so transparent to Zayn. He wishes he didn't share everything with him. He wishes that Zayn wasn't so fucking considerate to him.

"What's wrong?" Harry sits up.

Louis tries to relax his suddenly tense body. "Nothing."

"Lou, why would you even try lying to me?" Harry reprimands.

"I just need- fuck. I just need a ciggie." Louis throws the duvet off him and pulls on the first pair of sweatpants he can find.

He doesn't even bother brushing his teeth first. He just paces the porch and burns through four cigarettes before Harry comes out showered and dressed.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Harry sits on the porch sofa.

Louis doesn't speak because he's pretty sure he's passed through the anger gate and succumbed to at least the second or third degree of fury.

"You know it's okay to talk about your feelings before you understand them. Sometimes talking to others can help you understand it better." Harry says.

Louis lights another cigarette.

"Lou, I know you don't like overreacting or being frustrated, but quite frankly, it's emulating off you anyway, so you may as well tell me what's bothering you." Harry reasons. "Is it about last night?"

"No!" Louis yells.

He groans at his own tone and paces some more.

Harry stays silent.

Once he's finished his cigarette, he huffs.

"Yes." He says.

Harry leans forward on his hands. "Do you need me to ask you about it, or do you just want to tell me?"

Louis leans against the railing and looks at the empty lot across from their house. "I'm not trying to be a dick when I ask this. I'm asking because I truly want to know- because I truly want you to be honest with me."

"Okay?" Harry says carefully.

Louis sighs, feeling infinitely juvenile. "If you had to pick between me or Zayn, who-"

"You." Harry cuts him off. "You every time Louis." He's at Louis' side seconds later. "I don't know where you're coming from with that question, but the answer every single time is you."

"Why? I can't give you half of what Zayn can. Sexually. Stability wise. Life wise. Even emotionally in some ways." Louis says. "You both love each other. I don't want to hold you back from being together if that's what you want."

"Hell no." Harry pauses, waiting to see if Louis would admit that it was a joke of some sort. "Shit, Louis. _No_. Can you look at me?" Harry places a hand over top of Louis'.

He doesn't really want to because he's embarrassed, to say the least, that this conversation is happening in the first place. But he does because he wants to see if Harry means what he's about to say.

"I love you and Zayn in completely different ways. I love him like... like he's great to have around and I would do just about anything for him if he asked. I'd always be there for him if he needed someone. But _you_." Harry looks from Louis' hands up to his eyes again. "Louis, _you_ , are the one I want to be with. You are the one I'm committed to. You're the one I love with- with not even just my heart anymore- with my entire being."

Louis leans his head into Harry's neck to smell the comforting scent of his skin. "I wish you wouldn't."

Harry laughs lightly. "You really want to go back to square one Lou? Where we're on the beach or in your bed and you trying to talk me out of loving you?"

Louis smiles in spite of himself and shakes his head.

"I love you no matter what. I love you _more_ than I did when I met you six months ago. I love you with your cigarette breath and pescatarianism and platypus scars and your future Alzheimer's and your lung cancer death wish until then." Harry holds him close. "Nothing's going to change that."

Louis swallows the lump in his throat and voices his impulsive thoughts. "Will you marry me in the future?"

Harry laughs. "Only if I can be your proper boyfriend first."

Louis laughs into Harry's chest because, _right_. He pulls away to look Harry in the eyes. "Harry Styles, will you be my boyfriend?"

Harry kisses Louis' nose. "Of course crazy. I've considered myself as yours long before I ever kissed you or touched you."

"Good." Louis smiles into Harry's right dimple. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Lou. I love you forever." Harry moves his mouth so that his lips align with Louis', and they share a soft kiss.

"So what does this mean then, hmm?" Louis hums into the side of Harry's neck.

"I think we should consummate the relationship." Harry says without breaking a sweat.

Louis snorts. "We literally just had sex last night. I'm gross from waking up- you just showered. Aren't' you sore?"

Harry nips along Louis' jaw and down the column of his neck like it makes no difference to him. "Yolo."

Louis laughs so hard so unexpectedly that his throat hurts. Well, maybe that's partially from all the cigarettes, but nevertheless.

"Don't tell me you couldn't go for a nice slow fuck this early in the morning." Harry whispers into his ear, trying to be seductive.

"Sure Fabio. Is it okay if we use lube this time though?" Louis asks.

Harry picks Louis up and walks him back into the house. "Anything to get your cock in me."

"Wow, you sure know how to make a boy feel special." Louis bats at his chest.

"Anything for my boyfriend." Harry kisses the tip of Louis' nose and lays him on the bed. "I'll grab it. You get undressed."

All Louis really has to do is take off the sweatpants he just put on, but okay.

Harry returns back with a bottle of lube in hand and a questioning look on his face. "I didn't know Zayn drew."

Louis cocks his head. "Yeah. Why?"

"There was, um, a sketchpad in his nightstand drawer. I don't think I was meant to see it though." Harry shucks his clothes off and into a pile on the floor that Louis will have to probably pick up later.

"Oh. Yeah, it's private. Like his journal. What did you see?" Louis is genuinely curious now. He's never seen inside that sketchbook.

"Nothing. I don't know what it was. It was just... lines and things." Harry says vaguely.

Louis lets it go because he doesn't really want to be talking about Zayn's hobbies right now. "Well then, boyfriend dearest, what do the dreams of our consummation look like to you?" Louis grabs Harry's hand to pull him down to the bed.

Harry straddles him. "Well." He walks two fingers from Louis' belly button up to his collarbones. "I want to kiss you for a nice, long time until we're desperate enough to get off on each other's legs."

Okay, easy enough. Louis can dig it so far.

"Then." Harry draws heart patterns along his chest. "I want you to take your time prepping me with your fingers."

Also something that is well within his realm of abilities.

"After that." Harry looks Louis in the eyes and cups his face with a hand. "I want you to make sweet love to me."

"I can do that." Louis smiles softly. "Anything else?"

"Call me your boyfriend again." Harry switches positions with Louis.

"Whatever you wish my lovely, beautiful, perfect, wonderful boyfriend." Louis follows up his words with a kiss, and then does exactly as Harry wishes.

~~~

  
Zayn never returns that night, and Louis and Harry don't see him until the next day at work.

It's been... tense... with Zayn all week. Tense in a way that Louis is completely unaccustomed to. Tense in a way that reminds Louis of when he was dating Mark and Zayn had a thousand disapproving things to say, but never said.

Wednesday and Thursday were the worst when Marti was gone and it was just the three of them in the Platitat, and then every other day it felt like Zayn and him were constantly nagging at each other or rubbing each other the wrong way.

It makes the entire universe feel off kilter because a part of Louis' soul is literally completely disconnected and shut off from him and has him seventy shades of worked up and worrying. All the cigarettes and weed in the world can't even fix this problem.

It's been gut-wrenching to put it lightly.

Which is why Louis is determined to start getting things back to normal again.

So Saturday morning is when Louis deems himself fit to start work again and he puts on his work clothes. Harry had left early that morning as per the request of Louis.

The moment Zayn walks into the kitchen and sees Louis, he grabs his elbow to escort him back to his room and change him back into street clothes.

Louis is not happy.

"Zayn, I'm literally fine. I've been helping prep food and clean _every_ _day_ and I don't spontaneously combust or trip and die. I may as well be working and presenting than sitting in a lawn chair." Louis folds his arms across his chest to keep Zayn from unbuttoning his shirt.

Zayn tries to pry Louis' arms apart. "Louis, I'm not letting you work. You still have to take it easy-"

" _It's been five months!_ I think I'm fine. Last time I got spurred I went back to work after two days." Louis argues.

Zayn scoffs. "Yeah, you didn't almost _die_ last time Louis! Why don't you get that? Your body is weaker now. You need longer to recover."

"Stop handling me with kid mittens! I'm almost 30. I can make my own damn choices and I _certainly_ know when something is too much for me to handle." Louis' emotional triggers get fired about 99 times quicker when it involves Zayn.

Zayn rolls his eyes and stalks towards the door. "Your attitude is too much for me to handle."

Zayn is in the living room by the time Louis catches up to him and grabs him by the sleeve. "Hey."

Zayn stops and turns around, giving Louis a guarded look.

"Why are we at each other's throats so much? This isn't like us." Louis releases his sleeve and sits on the couch.

Zayn disregards Louis and goes to the kitchen for his keys. "We're fine. Just been on opposite schedules."

Louis stands up to demand an answer from him. " _No!_ I'm sick of that bullshit excuse. What is _wrong_ with you?"

"I really can't be late for work. It's Saturday." Zayn dismisses.

"Are you fucking _kidding_ me?! _Zayn!_ " Louis cries like a plea, and _that_ finally gets Zayn's attention.

Zayn turns around with aggressive eyes. "What the hell do you want from me Louis?! There's nothing wrong, I'm _fine_. You're the one trying to create problems. Stop imposing them on me!"

Louis hates to get so emotionally blunt about things, but for all intents and purposes, he thinks it will be the only way to get through to Zayn. "You and I haven't had a proper fucking conversation since we both fucked Harry. Is that what this is about? You're trying to act like it didn't bother you when it actually did?"

"No! That's _not_ -" Zayn huffs. "That's not what this is about."

"Then what is it about? I'd _really_ love a hint about now because you haven't been doing yourself or anyone else any favors by keeping it bottled up." Louis says.

"Lou, you have _no idea_ the things I keep bottled up. That's _who I am_ in case you haven't noticed." Zayn points to himself. "Just let me fucking get over this in my own time."

"No." Louis says.

"Sorry?" Zayn raises an eyebrow.

"I said, no." Louis repeats. "You aren't allowed to keep this bottled up because it's affecting everyone around you. It's affecting me and you're a fucking blind idiot if you think it's not affecting Harry."

"My problems aren't your problems. Go fuck off into the sunset with your boyfriend and leave me and my problematic life behind please. Just go-" Zayn sighs. "Just go be happy without me for once."

"What?" Louis steps closer to Zayn.

Zayn makes a motion with his hand. " _Go_. Go be happy and free and leave me the hell out of it."

Louis looks around the house incredulously. "Where do you suppose I should _go_ Zayn? We _live_ together! We've been best friends and brothers for 20 fucking years. Are you asking me to leave you?"

"No!" Zayn throws his hands in the air. "I'm just asking for some fucking space because I literally can't breathe without sharing air with you or Harry right now." Zayn motions to the proximity between them. "I literally cannot escape either of you who are the bane of my existence right now. I can't think straight, I can't feel normal, and I can't live without being haunted by one or both of you. My life revolves around two men that I am completely in love with and completely _can't_ have!"

Louis' jaw falls open a little. "Zayn you _have_ both of us! If you weren't being so fucking dense you would realize that!"

Zayn rolls his eyes. "This is why we can't have this conversation Louis. Because you. _Don't_. Get. It."

Louis holds a hand up to his heart and fails at restraining his sarcasm. "Then why don't you try explaining it to me? We're running in fucking circles as is, but I don't think I've heard this one before."

"Harry is yours, and you are Harry's. There isn't actually a _me_ involved anywhere except for when it comes to sex, which wouldn't be so damn painful if I didn't have feelings for both of you. You both are like water I need to survive, but I'm being drowned by it. I can't keep doing this Louis." Zayn ruins his quiffed hair by running a hand through it.

Louis doesn't know what to say.

He stands there waiting for words to come, but they never do.

Zayn turns around and leaves the house with Louis standing in the kitchen.

Louis has no idea how to fix this. So he waits for Harry to come home.

~~~


	37. Chapter 36

  
~~~

Louis spends most of the day pacing the house and vomiting into the toilet in between chain smoking and chess games.

He makes sure to stay hydrated by drinking lots of water, only it proves pointless when he throws it back up later.  At least he's throwing up more than just bile.

The clock moves torturously slow and if Louis didn't have Harry to count on coming home, there probably would have been more drastic measures taken.  Even if things are shit with Zayn, they're okay with Harry.  Harry loves him.  He loves Harry.  They can make it through this.  Zayn will come around.

Harry comes through the front door with his arms wrapped around an enormous pile of green thistles, bags hanging from his arms, and whistling All I Want for Christmas is You.

"Haz, what-?"  A Christmas tree.  Harry bought a Christmas tree and it's the size of his body, and he's kicking his shoes off then waddling into the living room with it.

Harry unceremoniously dumps it onto the floor where it falls on its side, getting pine needles everywhere.

"Haz, why?"  Louis stares at the tree.

Harry trips over a bag that breaks and ornaments spill everywhere.  "Because it's December 10th and there are no signs of holiday cheer.  It's just been sexual tension and frustration in the worst way possible all week.  I demand happiness and chocolate advent calendars and fake snow."

Louis watches as garland plops out of a bag that Harry drops to the ground.  "I mean, that's great, but we have a lot of shit to talk about and figure out.  Zayn-"

"I know what's going on.  It's obvious as the fucking holiday season- or well- _not_ because our house is the antithesis of hols, but you know what I mean."  Harry heaves the tree upright and pulls out a tree skirt.  "Everything's just been about us three in our own little world of problems and we need to get out of our own heads for a bit and celebrate life and society and happy things."

Louis kneels down by Harry.  "Harry-"

"Louis!"  Harry raises his voice, but it's still kind.  "Please.  Just do this with me."  He offers a big grin like he's hoping that if he smiles big enough, Louis will give in.

Which he does, because Harry is full of sweetness and cheer, and why would Louis deny him of that?

Louis pulls out three stockings, each one with a cute Christmas creature and the initial of their first name.  "This is... cute."

Harry grins.  "Yours is the reindeer, mine is the bunny, and Zayn's is the fox."

"I can see that."  Louis is amused by the felt fabric.  He hangs them above the wood burning stove.  "Looks more festive already."

Once Harry finishes setting up the tree he stands back and looks at it.  "You know what we need?"

"Christmas lights?"  Louis suggests.

"Well _obviously_."  Harry rolls his eyes.  "We need Christmas music and Christmas smells while we set everything up."

Louis lifts an eyebrow.

Harry pulls out a Christmas scented candle and lights it, then turns the television onto a Christmas music station and someone's version of Jingle Bell Rock fills their flat.  After that's done, he shoves a Santa hat on Louis' head, and reindeer antlers on his own.

Louis can't help but smile because Harry is probably the closest thing to an actual Christmas elf he's ever seen. 

"The best part about late Christmas, is that we get to eat 10 chocolates to catch up."  Harry says as he pokes the serrated cardboard to expose the chocolate.

Louis scrunches his nose.  "You're going to get sick."

"Why?"  Harry plops one in his mouth, then digs out the next one.

"That's hardly considered real chocolate, you know."  Louis sits next to him and grabs one.  "It's basically wax."

Harry snatches the candy from Louis' hand.  "More wax for me then!"

"Hey, I never said I didn't want it!"  Louis acts like he's trying to grab it from Harry, but Harry shoves it and a few more chocolates into his mouth before jumping up and laughing.

The music is turned up and Harry is singing along to Jingle Bell Rock while throwing fake snow all over their living room.  Louis grabs a bag of snow and joins in, throwing snow at Harry.

Harry ducks behind the couch and wads a pile of cotton together then throws it at Louis.

"No snowball fights in the house!"  Louis drops to the floor to dodge the attack.

Harry's eyes peek over the back of the couch.  "This isn't a house, it's my fortress!  You'll never stop me!  Never!"  Harry throws another ball at Louis and it lands softly on his nose.

Louis brushes it off then climbs onto the couch and drags Harry over the top of it.  "Ha!  I uprooted your fortress.  Watch as I overthrow your secret forces next."  Except, Louis actually managed to pull Harry on top of him, so he's currently pinned between Harry and said snow battle field fortress.

Harry bends down to take Louis by surprise with a deep kiss.  Louis' body goes limp and he kisses up into Harry's mouth.

Then Harry's across the room laughing manically, reindeer antlers askew on the top of his head. 

"You play dirty Harold."  Louis sits upright. 

Harry digs through another bag and fishes out a long string of Christmas lights.  "When you have an inside source, always use it to your advantage."  He says sneakily.

Louis snorts.  "I'll keep that in mind next- hey!"

There are Christmas lights lassoed around his body, and Harry is making suggestive faces and pulling Louis towards him.

"I've taken you hostage.  There's no escaping now."  Harry says into his ear once they're pressed chest-to-chest.

"Who said I consented to being a hostage?"  Louis asks into his neck.

"Your consent isn't something I'm worried about.  That's why it's called being hostage."  Harry tangles his hands in the mess of Christmas lights draped around Louis' body and rubs up and down his back.

"How very rude of you."  Louis tries to sound serious, but can't help the smile that shows through.

The music changes to a slow, acoustic version of Winter Wonderland and Harry starts to sway along with the music, a small puff of cotton snow falling from his hair as he does so. 

"Louis Tomlinson, will you have this dance with me?"  Harry lowers his hands to Louis' waist without asking and starts to lead him in a slow dance.

"Didn't give me much of an option there, did you?"  Louis grins as a string of the lights falls onto his neck as he wraps his arms around Harry's neck.

"Nope."  Harry dips down and kisses Louis while they sway slowly in the cinnamon atmosphere of Christmas carols. 

Harry tastes like advent chocolate and innocence.  It's more than a little addictive. 

"I love you."  Harry whispers into Louis' mouth.

"I love you too."  Louis says against the plump wetness of Harry's waxy lips.  "This was brilliant.  Thank you."

"Mmhmm."  Harry hums against his lips.

The side door opens, like a class five hurricane breaking them from their moment, and Zayn stares at them.

"Zay-!"  Louis instantly takes a step forward, but trips on the Christmas lights still tangled on his body.

He hits the ground and it throbs through his whole body for only a minute.  "Fucking hell."

Harry and Zayn are by his side, unwrapping him.

"You okay?"  Harry asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine."  Louis grins at both of them.  "Zayn, you came back."

Zayn doesn't acknowledge him, but looks at the disaster of the living room.  "What the fresh hell is this?"

"Christmas!"  Louis and Harry exclaim at the same time.

"Why?"  Zayn asks, sitting himself on the couch.

Harry fiddles with the remote until he can turn the music down.  "Because it's Christmas...?"

"For holiday cheer and whatnot.  Haz had the best intentions with it.  You know, helping us focus on something other than ourselves for a bit?"  Louis explains.

"I'm moving out."  Zayn says.

Louis' jaw drops.

Harry jumps in Zayn's lap though and wraps his arms around Zayn's neck.  "Will you trim the tree with us first?  Please?"

Zayn looks completely taken off guard.  "You smell like wax."

"It's the advent chocolate!"  Then Harry makes a point of breathing onto Zayn's face.

Zayn automatically looks at Louis as if to share a mutual look of adoration with him, but then catches himself, and turns back to Harry.  "I don't know if I have time.  I'm meeting with a realtor-"

Harry kisses him.

Louis feels like he has whiplash because has no idea what the fuck going on.  He's getting the feeling though that Harry is just running with it and doing anything to distract Zayn from leaving. 

Which, is actually not a bad idea.  Maybe if Louis thought through things quicker rather than staying silent until he was out of shock, he'd be more proactive like Harry.

He supposes there are pros and cons to being impulsive. 

This however, seems to be a situation that calls for impulsivity, so Louis takes a page out of the Harry handbook and jumps onto the couch next to where Zayn is stiffly letting Harry kiss him, and shoves his Santa hat on Zayn's head.

Zayn pulls away from Harry at that and looks upward at the new accessory that's been placed on his head. 

"Fuck the realtor.  I've know enough of them in the Biblical sense that I can get you whatever you want from whichever one you want, whenever you want.  For now, trim the tree with me!"  Harry jumps up and throws a string of blue twinkly lights at Zayn.

Zayn still looks confused.  "'In the Biblical'... Jesus Harry!"

Louis lets out a guttural laugh and picks up a wad of snow and shoves it in Zayn's shirt.  Zayn finally resigns himself to having a little fun, and gets off the couch to start pulling out some ornaments.

"Where the hell did you get these?"  Zayn inspects some small boxes of ornaments.

"I know a guy who knows a place."  Harry says, trying to sound suspicious.

Louis walks over to inspect with Zayn and sees that Harry's bought a couple sets of Zelda themed ornaments.  "These are amazing!"

"The tree topper won't come till tomorrow though, so we all have to be here to put it on together.  I had to order it online."  Harry says.

"How long have you been planning this?"  Louis asks.

"Just since today.  I decided on my way home."  Harry says.  "The topper is being shipped overnight."

"Of course it is."  Zayn mutters.  "And you're wasting this nice sound system on shitty music."

"What do you want to listen to then?  We could do the smooth jazz channel?"  Harry offers.

"Sure Harry.  Let's listen to smooth jazz."  Zayn says with more than a hint of sarcasm.

Louis is affronted for Harry, but Harry takes it in stride and changes the channel while putting on his best low and sultry announcer voice.  "And now, at the top of the hour, we give to you... smooooooooth jazz."

Zayn laughs at Harry's antics and Louis really doesn't understand them, but he really wants to scold Zayn and coddle Harry.  However, he thinks Harry probably has this whole situation under control better than he does.

Harry hangs an ornament on the front pocket of Zayn's shirt.  "Why do they call it trimming the tree anyway?"

Zayn looks over to Louis to have a laugh with him, then catches himself again halfway into it; and fuck, it pisses Louis off.  Zayn's ability to hold grudges can go fuck itself.  Honestly, it doesn't get anybody anywhere.

"I would think you would know this from your golden encyclopedia collection.  Trimming means to decorate and ornate."  Louis focuses on the joyful Harry rather than the pain that is Zayn.

"Okay, so next time I go in for a haircut, I'll ask them to ornate my hair and see if they get the memo."  Harry fixes the antlers on his head.

"Hey, what's this pair of antlers for?"  Zayn pulls a headband out that is tiny and probably meant for infants.

Harry lights up.  "Oh!  That's for Perry.  I thought he might like to match me.  By the way, can I wear these during presentations?"  He looks upward at where the antlers are perched atop his curls.

Again, Zayn's neck twitches to look at Louis, but he doesn't.  "Sure."

Louis leaves for the porch.

He sits on the sofa and stares at the empty lot across the way.  Since when did Harry have a better relationship with Zayn than Louis?

Oh yeah, since Zayn decided to victimize himself and cut Louis out of his life.

Louis just hopes Harry can talk Zayn out of whatever funk he's gotten himself into. 

Harry joins Louis on the sofa several minutes later, reindeer antlers gone, and gives him a kiss on the cheek before sitting down.

"I always found it ironic that Zayn and I ended up in a flat across the street from a field.  I always feel like it mocks the fact that we once burned one."  Louis says.

"Not to be fake deep, but I think there's probably a metaphor for your life in there."  Harry says.

Louis snorts.  "Probably."

"Zayn said he's staying at Lucas' again tonight, but he'll drop by the house tomorrow."  Harry says.

"To pick up his stuff?"  Louis asks.

"No, to put the top on our Christmas tree."  Harry says.

"He's not moving out?"  Louis turns to Harry.

"He didn't say."  Harry fiddles with the zipper on his jacket and picks the seam of his jeans- shit it's been a long time since Louis has seen that nervous habit.  "And Lou, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Wow, we've officially dated for not even a week, and you're already giving me that line?"  Louis teases.  He knows Harry isn't breaking up with him, but the line gives him a terrible stomachache anyway.  He might be vomiting some more tonight depending on what it is.

"Well, the internship... with the zoo..."  Harry starts.

"Yeah, what about it?"  Louis inspects Harry to try and anticipate the problem before Harry says it.

"Well, it ends at the end of this month."  Harry keeps zipping and unzipping his jacket.

"So?"  Louis hasn't really given it any thought because obviously Conner will allow Louis to hire Harry on full time. 

"I only have six more months of school till I graduate."  Harry continues.

Louis' stomach is in knots now.  "Please spit it out before I die of lung cancer."

"Ha, ha, very funny."  Harry scrunches his nose at Louis. 

Harry doesn't make a move to speak after that though, and Louis is turning into an anxious wreck.  This doesn't seem like it's going to end well for Louis.

Harry sighs.  "There's a marine wildlife rehabilitation center.  They're looking for an intern to bring on for a year.  As much as I love the Platitat, it can't really give me the experience I need to be qualified to get a job as a marine biologist after I graduate.  They agreed they would double my pay once I graduate- for the latter half of my internship.  After that, I could get any job I want- wherever I want because it would give me so many options."

Oh.

"Well.  I mean, that'll be really sad.  You're more than family at the Platitat... it won't be the same without you.  But I don't want to keep you from living your dreams, you know?"  Louis will be lonely without Harry at work anymore, but at least he'll have him to come home to every night.

"I haven't accepted it yet or anything... I told them I had a significant other to talk to first.  But they do want to hire me."  Harry says.

"Well that's fantastic Haz.  Tell them you want it."  Louis places a hand on Harry's thigh and gives him a reassuring squeeze.

"Lou- it's..."  Harry looks down at his lap to avoid Louis' gaze.  "It's in Brisbane."

"You- what?"  Louis feels a strong emotion pushing up his throat.  "What?  A year?"  He chokes out.

Harry nods. 

"You want to live in Brisbane for a year?"  Louis' voice cracks on the last word.

"Everywhere local requires more field specific training for-" Harry doesn't bother finishing his sentence and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hand.

"Nowhere in Gosford?  Or- or even Newcastle?"  Louis asks rhetorically over the lump in his throat.

"I haven't accepted it yet.  I don't have to.  I told them I wanted to talk to you about it first."  Harry says.

"But you want to."  Louis states.  "You want to live 10 hours away from me for a year?"

It sounds horribly selfish, but it's the bottom line truth of it all, so he may as well do them both a favor by not sugar coating it. 

Harry smothers his face with his hands and nods slowly.  "Yeah Lou.  I do.  I've wanted this for a really long time."

"I-" Louis chokes out.  He stops when he realizes there isn't one way to end that sentence without sounding inconsiderate. 

It's just, he's never had a Harry before.  And he doesn't want to lose him now that he has him.  He's wanted Harry for a really long time, and wants him for a really long time afterwards.

He tries to push the feelings away and ask a more productive question.  "What um, what would that mean for us?"  For all Louis knows, Harry could want this as an out- as a fresh start away from Louis and Zayn and the Platitat and everything in Sydney.

Harry's head snaps up from his hands, and he holds tightly onto Louis'.  "I wouldn't want anything to change.  Not unless you wanted it to.  You're just- you're it for me Louis.  I meant it when I said I would marry you in the future.  I just don't want this to be unfair to you."

Good God. 

So many things.

Too many things.

"When do they want you there?"  Is what Louis ends up asking.

"January second."  Harry says.

"In 23 days?  They want you in Brisbane in 23 days?"  Louis really means to ask 'I only have you for 23 more days?' but it would be completely unfair to Harry.  Not that it matters much since the whole situation is unfair to Louis.

"Yeah."  Harry says.

"You'll... you'll still want me though?  In a year?  I'll be almost 31."  Louis asks, panicking a little.

"Please.  You know age isn't a problem for me.  I'll be 20, almost 21.  Will you still want me?"  Harry returns the question.

"You're so young Haz.  You..."  Harry really is so young.  Louis has lived and changed so much since he was Harry's age.  In fact, 20 is when he started dating Mark.  "Damn it.  Harry, you really need to take this opportunity.  I want you to.  You need to for you.  Just... do you want to like, be in an open relationship?  I don't want to cut you off from other people you might meet.  I just- I wouldn't have wanted someone to lock me into who I was going to be with at 20."

Harry shakes his head.  "I only want you Lou.  I'm done with other men.  Just you."

"This is really..."  Louis sighs.  "This is a lot.  Just, tell them you accept it okay?  We can figure out more stuff as we go along.  I dunno.  We'll sleep on it and figure out more tomorrow."

"Okay.  I love you."  Harry rests his chin on Louis' shoulder.

"I love you to.  Can I just... have a minute?"  Louis asks.

"Of course."  Harry gives him a peck to the shoulder and then goes in the house.

Louis is alone.

~~~


	38. Chapter 37

 

A/N: I have to say I am floored with the love, support, and anxiety from you guys due to my absence last Friday. I'm so sorry for leaving you hanging. I was filming for a television show all weekend and flew out to Puerto Rico shortly after that was finished and have not had ample time to sit down and get these updates out for you. Please accept my triple update today, and regular update tomorrow as my apology. Love you guys so much!!

Twitter: [@dannieybarra](http://www.twitter.com/dannieybarra) [@LemonSuccubus](http://www.twitter.com/lemonsuccubus)

-Dannie :)

`~~~

Z

Zayn's romantic life is well and truly fucked.

Firstly, he has Louis.  The fucking utter mess that he's made of his relationship with Louis.  It's not even Louis' fault.  It's Zayn's.  Zayn knows this.  He knows Louis is just ignorant.  He knows Louis doesn't have the emotional capacity and experience to understand what he's going through.

Secondly, there's Harry.  Harry who never fails to make him smile regardless of how bad of a mood he's in.  Harry who cares unceasingly about Zayn and does everything he can to make Zayn's life easier.  Harry who Zayn hasn't given an ounce of attention to since they had their night of rather rough sex in front of Louis.  Harry who is everything perfect and imperfect in the fucking world.

Lastly, there's Liam.  Liam thinks Zayn walks on water and it's a fucking joke.  Liam is on the same level of Harry with the praise and adoration.  Liam is so giving and caring that he puts Mother Theresa to shame.  Liam who has listened to Zayn bitch about every detail of his personal life, and still shown Zayn no judgement. 

And then there's Lucas who is currently getting shitfaced with Zayn at Blue Grounds. 

Lucas is a good friend.

Zayn isn't a loud or obnoxious drunk.  He's not overly emotional.  He's not one to spill secrets or act slutty. 

Except he's with Lucas and Liam's serving his alcohol, so he's a little emotional and a little talkative because as of right now, they are his two best friends. 

"So after he admits to buying reindeer antlers for his imprinted prodigal platypus lovechild of his and Louis', Louis leaves for the porch.  That's when Harry turns to me and starts fucking reprimanding me for being an asshole."  Zayn beseeches.

"Remind me how the platypus is their lovechild?"  Liam asks.

"Essentially everything is a Larry love child.  Plants, platypai, tarantulas..."  Lucas explains.  "But particularly Perry because Louis named him, and Harry talks to Perry about 'being nice to mommy when he comes back to work and not poisoning him again', hence the prodigal part."

"Um."  Liam seems to decide against arguing the flaws in the statement against two people who are on the side of tipsy and chooses a different question.  "So Harry is Perry's dad and Louis is the mom?"  He blushes as he asks.

Zayn shakes his head.  "I'm the dad.  I get that fucking platypus rubbed all over me while Harry fucking taunts me by calling me Daddy."

"So what does that make Harry?"  Liam asks, still bright red.

Lucas and Zayn shrug.

"Okay, so he got antlers for the communal lovechild, then what?"  Liam asks, trying to keep up. 

Lucas and Zayn split a cab to Blue Grounds, so Lucas has already heard most of the story and fills Liam in.  "Then Harry starts ripping Zayn a new one for treating Louis like an ass."

"So then, I'm left alone with holiday cheer and smooth jazz fucking me in the ears and I leave to my room while Harry does whatever Harry does with Louis when they're alone on the porch and not smoking.  But then Harry comes in my room like, 10 minutes later."  Zayn says.

"Wait, like, comes in your room, or _comes_ in your room?"  Lucas asks for clarification.

"Jesus."  Zayn snorts.  "The only time Harry would be _coming_ in my room with just me and him is if Louis died-"

Oh fuck.

Zayn is probably too drunk.  He definitely did not mean to say that. 

Fuck, he's a horrible friend.

Lucas and Liam are just kind of staring at him like he's robbed their grandmothers, and Zayn feels like he deserves to be looked at like that.

"Sorry lads.  Didn't mean to say that."  Zayn buries himself in the rest of his drink.

"'S fine."  Liam excuses.  "So, what did Harry talk to you about?"

Zayn pushes his empty glass towards Liam for a refill.  "He fucking tells me on fucking January second he's fucking moving to fucking Brisbane for a mother fucking year."

"Fuck."  Liam and Lucas say eloquently.

"Fuck."  Zayn grabs the refilled tonic and gin and takes a large swig.  "So essentially I'm not allowed to move out because then that leaves Louis alone."  He runs his hand through his hair, then tacks on as an afterthought.  "For a year."

"Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place."  Liam says.

Zayn grimaces.  "Story of my life bro."

"Z, I've known you for... a long time.  Not as long as Louis, but..."  Lucas trails off.  "Maybe moving out is out of the question now, but have you ever thought about working with Derek again?  It would give you and Louis some space and you could, you know, use your degree that you went to school for."

Zayn grunts dejectedly.  "Last time I worked a different job than Louis-"

"He killed himself.  I know."  Lucas cuts him off.  "Zayn, that was years ago.  _Years_.  Like, seven years ago.  You both have changed so much since then.  Louis has Harry now and his situation is completely different than what it was when you were both 22.  I think you owe yourself some freedom."

"I know that I don't even know half of what Lucas does, but I have to say I agree with him mate."  Liam adds his two cents.

Zayn thinks he needs to drink more. 

But first he texts Derek.

Liam and Lucas watch in silence.

"There.  I texted him.  No typos.  Should I tell Conner too?"  Zayn slurs.

"Probably since you know, you're accepting employment elsewhere."  Lucas reasons.

"Wait, how soon are you doing this?"  Liam asks.

"Well I just texted Derek.  So.  I don't know.  Monday unless Conner needs me.  Which he doesn't because Harry can run the fucking Platitat blindfolded and with his arms tied behind his back-" Zayn groans.

"We should probably not talk about Harry in sexual scenarios."  Lucas points out.

"Louis is well enough to work, right?  And there's the other intern there too?"  Liam asks, trying to move the conversation along.

"Yeah."  Zayn remorsefully lets the fantasy of Harry blindfolded and tied up on his knees in the Platitat fade into the back of his mind.

"Well then if it's okay with Conner and Derek, I don't see why you can't start your new job Monday.  Hell, you might even get proper days off."  Liam points out.

Zayn scoffs.  "That'd be weird."

"So text Conner and ask.  It can't hurt."  Lucas says.

Zayn does.

"Cool."  Zayn empties the rest of his drink.

It's awkwardly silent for a minute while Zayn tries to think about things that aren't his feelings.  If he were to do that, the dam would probably break and spill over.

"So how are you going to deal with the other thing?"  Liam asks.

And that's what breaks the dam. 

Zayn chokes back a sob.  "Fucking hell."  He pushes his empty glass over the bar and it crashes to the floor.

"What other thing?"  Lucas asks.

Liam looks from Zayn's defeated state back to Lucas.  "Harry leaving." 

"Oh."  Lucas says stupidly and looks at Zayn who is stifling tears in his hand.

Liam comes around the bar to pull Zayn into a hug.  Zayn cries drunkenly into Liam's comforting chest.

~~~

L

Louis wakes up with two heavy weights on his chest. 

"Babe, we have to get up.  We're going to be late."  Louis pets Harry's smushed curls.

"Five more minutes?"  Harry clings a little tighter.

"Love, we're going to have to find a different time to have sex if you won't get up the mornings after."  Louis says.

"No, 's fine.  I'm up."  Harry heaves himself off Louis' chest, but the weight stays the same.

They carpool as normal to the zoo, but when they pull into the parking lot, Louis sees Conner's car in the parking lot.

"The hell?"  Louis squints, wondering if he missed the arrival of a new platypus.  Conner never comes into the Platitat this early in the morning.

"What?"  Harry parks the car.

"Conner's car is here."  Louis pulls out his pack to light a cigarette.

Harry takes his place in leaning against the hood of the car while he waits for Louis to smoke.  "Which means?"

Louis blows out into the hot air.  "Either a platypus died, arrived, or someone is getting fired."

"So you think... which one?"  Harry asks.

Last time they did weights on Sunday, everyone's weight was normal and healthy.  He hasn't noticed a decline in any of the platypodes behavior and they all are within normal age range.  As far as arrivals, they have two or three open pens, but Conner would have texted him- even if it were midnight- if they were expecting a new arrival.

Which means someone is getting fired.  Marti hasn't done anything worthy of getting fired or even put on probation, regardless of her annoying behavior.  The only reason Harry would get 'fired' is if his parents got involved, which they wouldn't, considering they haven't talked to him in months.  Then Louis feels confident to bet his left nut that he's not the one getting fired.

Which leaves Zayn.

Who would never be fired.

Which means.

Louis stomps his cigarette out even though it's hardly half smoked.  "Mother fucker."  He picks up the remaining part of the stick and tosses it into an ashtray as he stalks towards the Platitat.

Harry jogs up to him.  "What did I miss?  What's wrong?"

"Nothing!  You're just about to see me get really fucking angry."  Louis seethes.

Louis yanks open the door to the Platitat to see Zayn signing some documents and Conner standing next to him.

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!  You don't even have the _decency_ to tell me you're quitting your job?!"  Louis yells.

Harry takes a step back and Conner raises an eyebrow.

"Shut the hell up Louis.  It's my fucking life."  Zayn says simply.

"Right!  It's your fucking life because you've kicked me out of any part of it!"  Louis throws his hands in the air.  "You treat Harry and I like shit, you're moving out, and now you're quitting your job- _what_ is your problem?!"

"My _problem_ is me not having my own life, Louis!  If you have a problem with how I treat you, then I suggest you don't bother trying to keep me in your life, but that's going to be awfully hard to do since I'm _not_ moving out and we'll still be living together."  Zayn grits through his teeth.

Jeez.  This.  This is why Louis doesn't like getting angry.  Because now he actually wants to have a conversation about this with Zayn.  But there's kind of nowhere effective for this to go.

"Okay, so why the hell didn't you bother telling me you're quitting?"  Louis asks, dispirited a little.

"Because, it's _my_ life Louis.  I get to make my own decisions, and working at the Platitat isn't one I want to keep making."  Zayn says icily.

"So, what?  You're going to-" Louis thinks about it for a moment.  "You're going to work with Derek again, aren't' you?"

"Yes.  I am."  Zayn states.  "So I can do something I aspire for considering a got a degree in it."

"Are you-?"  Louis scoffs.  "Are you saying you're better than me?"  Louis knows he just got really juvenile, but he can't help but ask.

Zayn rolls his eyes.  "Fuck off Louis."

Harry steps forward at that and gives Zayn a harsh look.

Zayn returns Harry's stern gaze, then looks back at his paperwork.  "Today's my last day, unless that bothers either of you, then I can go."

The silence in the Platitat is a deadly one.  The only sound is the ripples of the pond several meters away.

Zayn signs the last document and hands it to Conner.  "Anything else?"

Conner gives him a grim smile.  "No.  We'll miss you.  I'll miss you."  Conner puts a hand on Zayn's shoulder.

"Thank you for everything Conner."  Zayn hands him his last time card.  "I'm actually just going to go if that's okay."

Conner nods.  "Of course.  Let me know if you ever need anything."

Zayn gives him a false smile.  "Thanks.  See you around, I'm sure."

Then with that, Zayn walks out of the Platitat.

"Harry, Marti should be in soon.  Can you handle things while I speak with Louis?"  Conner asks.

"Of course."  Harry says blankly.

Conner escorts Louis out and they walk through the zoo until they get to the polar bear exhibit.

They sit next to each other on the bench and Louis stares at the lazing polar bear.  "Sorry about the yelling."

"Do you know the last time I heard you yell like that?"  Conner asks.

Louis thinks back for a while and can't come up with a time.  "No."

"You were 22 and in the hospital after trying to take your own life.  You yelled at Zayn for saving you."  Conner says.

"Not to be dramatic, but this is completely different."  Louis says.

"Different situation, same feelings."  Conner says.

Louis sighs and rubs his fingers into his temples.  "What do you mean?" 

"Louis, I've watched you grow up.  I've watched you and Zayn since the moment you stepped foot into the Platitat.  I'm not around as much anymore because you guys have such perfect control and balance over your work atmosphere.  Never in my entire life have I had two managers stay so peaceful and synergetic for so long."  Conner says.

"So you're saying you're not surprised this happened?"  Louis leans back into the bench.

"No.  I'm saying a couple different things.  For one, I know you pretty damn well.  For two, I know that one or both of you were sacrificing in order to maintain the environment you had created here."  Conner says.

"What does that mean?"  Louis hasn't felt this out of depth in a conversation for a long time.

"It means two things.  Firstly, that you're feeling betrayed.  Same as when Zayn saved your life and I saved your career.  We betrayed your agency to do what you want with your life and forced you into things that you weren't able to make a decision on at the time."  Conner says.

And yes, that is kind of how it went down.  But in retrospect, they were both good decisions.  Louis is glad he's alive and glad he works at the Platitat.  Both things ended up in his favor, and he's willing to admit that yes, even though he felt betrayed, Conner and Zayn did, in fact, have his best interest in mind.

"Secondly?"  Louis asks.

"Secondly, Zayn has given up everything he has to be everything he can for you.  He has since the time you were both 14 and lit that nature preserve on fire.  Zayn would give his life for you in a heartbeat.  Zayn would also give up all of his life's ambitions to work closely with you to make sure you feel safe and loved."  Conner says.

"Okay..."  Louis can see all of that, and there's always been a part of him that knew that because Louis generally feels the same about Zayn.  It's just a little different hearing it come from someone else.

"This is a good thing that Zayn is following his dreams."  Conner says.

"I never said it wasn't!"  Louis says.  "I want Zayn to be happy.  I do."

"I know you do Louis.  Zayn wants you to be happy too.  That's all you two have ever wanted for each other.  However, along with how close you two are, your happiness is affected by the two things I mentioned earlier."  Conner says.

"Betrayal and sacrifice?"  Louis repeats.

"Yes.  They are all in a reversible chain along with happiness that you and Zayn have fallen into.  Betrayal leads to sacrifice to make one another happy.  In reverse, by making each other happy, you sacrifice too much and betray yourselves.  Do you see where I'm going with this?"  Conner asks.

"Not quite."  Louis says.

"Zayn broke the chain by deciding that he was done betraying himself and sacrificing his happiness for yours.  He pulled out each one of the brackets, and you're left alone on the chain, trying to figure out what to do with the emotions that used to be a tug of war between you and Zayn."  Conner says.

"So now Zayn gets to be happy.  He gets to be happy without stipulations.  And I'm just left with feeling betrayed."  Louis says.

"Yes."  Conner says.

"So, why doesn't Zayn feel like he's sacrificing me as a friend?  Because I certainly feel like he is."  Louis stares at the white exhibit ahead of him.

"Because he doesn't and shouldn't have to.  Like I said, he's removed himself completely from that unhealthy chain.  You need to as well Louis.  You need to let yourself feel happy without the stipulations of the other two emotions.  You'll destroy yourself if you never let go and let yourself be happy."  Conner says.

Louis takes a few breaths before saying anything.  "I- how can I be happy when Zayn hates me?"

"Zayn doesn't hate you.  You both need some time to reevaluate your identities, appreciate yourselves, indulge in some unadultered happiness, and then worry about your relationship.  It will repair itself on its own after you take the proper time to deal with the situation."  Conner says.

"He's still- it feels like I've lost him."  Louis admits.

"So grieve.  Grieve over the loss of him, and when you accept it, you will no longer be a prisoner to the previous toxicity that bound you two together."  Conner says.

"He's- he's... a 'brother' doesn't even come close to describe what Zayn is to me."  Louis rubs at his eyes that are feeling heavy.

"I know."  Conner says.  "I never said it would be easy.  But for you to be happy and for Zayn to be happy, it's what needs to happen."

Louis wishes he had a cigarette or nine about now.  "Well, I think I've gotten denial and anger out of the way then." 

"Almost halfway."  Conner smiles.  "Give Zayn some more time.  He's lost a great part of himself and his life to you- not to your fault, mind you.  But give him time and he will accept what's happened too.  Then you can both reevaluate anew, and from there, do whatever makes you two happy."

Conner is right.  Louis knows he's right.  But all Louis is hearing is that he is going to be completely alone. 

~~~


	39. Chapter 38

             

~~~

Louis gets back in time to give the first presentation, then after lunch, Harry gives the afternoon presentation- complete with reindeer antlers on himself and Perry, whom he brings out into the crowds now to show them up close.

After Marti is excused, Louis and Harry sit at the edge of the Platitat pond, Perry in Harry's lap, and Dez burrowing holes around Louis.

"I need to let Zayn be happy and live his dreams."  Louis says.

"I know you can do it."  Harry says reassuringly.

"I know.  But I don't know if I can do the same for myself."  Louis twirls his toes around, making ripples in the water.

"Why not?"  Harry asks.

"I don't know how."  Louis says.

"Sure you do."  Harry splashes a little bit of water onto Louis' legs.  "You're already doing what you dream of doing, so just let yourself be happy while doing it."

Louis chuckles.  "That sounds really simple." 

"It's as simple or complicated as you make it."  Harry grins.

"I love you."  Louis leans in to kiss him on the lips, but remembers that they are essentially on display to the public too, and opts instead for nipping his shoulder.

"I love you too."  Harry playfully bites the air in front of Louis' nose.  "I asked Conner if we could have next Saturday off by the way.  I'd like to take you on a date."

Louis lifts an eyebrow.  "A date?"

"Yes, you know... I drive us somewhere and we do a thing together to bond.  I think it would be good for us.  A date."  Harry looks pleased with himself.

"Well I would be honored."  Louis grazes his fingertips over the tops of Harry's.

"Perfect.  Can't wait."  Harry gives Louis a triumphant splash to the legs.

~~~

Next Saturday comes quickly. 

It's been a whirlwind week without Zayn at work.  The first day, Louis, Harry, and Marti were mostly in shock over the whole incident.  The following day is when the dynamics drastically changed at the Platitat. 

Louis' always had Zayn there as another strong leader and mentor for the interns.  He's always had a sidekick, someone to equally share responsibility with.  Another body to fill the Platitat.  But it feels emptier now.

Harry really stepped in and pulled his weight at work, and even though Harry was able to _do_ everything Zayn did, it still felt like a night and day difference.  Even though Harry was reliable and there from start to finish, it wasn't the same.

Harry essentially took Zayn's place, and it felt emptier because Harry the Intern and Zayn his Co-Worker Best Friend weren't there.  It was like a completely new person came in, took Zayn's position and kicked Harry out. 

It's even had an effect on Louis and Harry's relationship. 

The second day of Zayn's absence showed a gaping distance between Louis and Marti.  That left Louis to focus mostly on Harry, and Harry obviously paying extra attention on Louis to make sure he was performing above and beyond satisfactory.  It only took Louis till lunch time to realize that he had to start separating Harry-at-work and Harry-at-home because it was interfering with their work environment.

After a brief talk about it with Harry, they've made sure to put a careful distance between themselves and put their focus solely on Marti. 

Louis' been able to start developing more of a mentor relationship between himself and the young girl; and Harry, having worked with her a little longer than Louis, has continued teaching and supporting her as well.

When they get home, it's normally silent. 

Zayn has an unpredictable schedule, so they awkwardly cross paths at different times of the mornings and evenings.  Louis and Zayn silently take turns making the house meals and always set a Ziploc container off to the side for the other. 

They don't talk about it.

Zayn normally will leave if he's gets home at the same time as Louis and Harry.  Louis assumes he goes to hang out with Lucas, but he can't be sure. 

One evening Zayn had locked himself up in his room, and Harry was particularly feisty.  Louis led him into their bedroom to keep from getting fresh somewhere that Zayn could easily walk in on them.  So once behind closed doors, Louis blasted Daft Punk from his room to muffle out the sounds of Harry moaning into the mattress. 

Despite their consideration, the front door slammed shut hardly a minute later.

To Louis, the silence is more than just his broken relationship with Zayn.  It's also the promise that Harry will be leaving soon, thus the entire reason Zayn is staying in the first place.

Louis can't figure out if Zayn is ignoring him until Harry moves out, or forever.  Maybe this is just how it will be from now on, and Zayn either doesn't want to leave Louis alone, or doesn't want to move out somewhere else and be alone.

Regardless, he knows once Harry leaves, loneliness will fill every corner of the flat.

But now it's Saturday, and Louis only has 16 more days left with Harry.  He has a date, and he's determined to make the most of it. 

Louis is driving them home from work for the first time in six months, and he feels pretty damn proud about it.  He has his sunroof and side window open, one hand on the wheel and the other clasping a cigarette out the window.

"So tell me Hazza, how much time do I have to get ready for our date?"  Louis asks while rounding the corner into their street.

"Depends on how long it takes you to change.  You only need swim trunks and a change of clothes."  Harry looks over the tops of his Ray Bans at Louis.

"You taking me to the kiddie pool?"  Louis smiles as he sucks the cig between his lips.  "I do love the lazy rivers."

"Mm, there's nothing lazy about our adventure today.  Make sure to wear your big kid panties."  Harry teases.

"Oh, you must be referring to my boyfriend's Zelda ones.  Yes, I'll make sure to put those on."  Louis blows a puff of smoke towards Harry.

Harry waves the smoke away.  "Shut up, you love them."

"Oh yes, the pair that say 'Blow my Ocarina' definitely has to be on my top three favorites list."  Louis laughs as he pulls into the driveway.

"I'll race you to see who can get changed faster."  Harry challenges.

"Racing is for the youths.  Us more mature persons must walk with dignity and poise."  Louis snubs his nose in the air.

"Being 30 isn't an excuse to call yourself mature."  Harry clips his Ray Bans into the sunglasses clip on Louis' passenger sun visor.

"Hey, don't call me 30 yet.  Give me another seven days to be 29."  Louis complains.

"Fine.  Then enjoy them by racing me."  Harry bites at his bottom lip and smiles deviously.

Louis pretends to mull it over a moment so that he can catch Harry off guard when he bolts out of his seat and into the house.  As planned, Harry is more than a few steps behind.

"Cheater!  That's not fair!"  Harry yells from behind him.

"All's fair in love and war!"  Louis' already crossed the short span through the kitchen and living room into his bedroom and unintentionally slams the door loudly behind him.

He bends over to catch his breath, reveling in the small adrenaline rush that zips through his body.  It feels so fucking good to run without worry again.

Next thing he knows, the door swings open and he's being pummeled and pinned onto his bed by Harry and there's Harry's face nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"It's good to see you running again."  Harry nips at his skin.

"It's good to be running again."  Louis smiles.

"I like feeling like I have to chase after you."  Harry bites down a little harder.

Oh.

"I, uh."  Louis is out of depth here.  He assumes Harry is either feeling aggressive or trying to role play.  Both of which Louis doesn't know proper protocol for.

"I like catching you."  Harry noses up and down Louis' neck.

"Yeah."  Louis says dumbly.

"I like claiming you as mine."  Harry follows the whisper with a lick around the shell of Louis' ear.

"Fuck."  Louis wheezes out.

"I like you a lot Louis."  Harry pulls back to look at Louis and bites his bottom lip, slowly releasing it from his teeth.

"Show me."  Louis breathes out.

Harry takes his time unbuttoning his own shirt, like he's giving Louis a slow strip tease.  He snaps his shirt in the air before tossing it to the ground and it makes Louis giggle. 

Next, Harry's abs flex as he bends forward to unbutton Louis' shirt with large fingers that concentrate on the nimble task at hand.

Louis can't help but reach up and trace the soft lines of his arms and to where they connect to his torso.  "You have such a gorgeous body."

"I much prefer yours."  Harry leans down to press a small kiss to Louis' sternum.

Once the shirt is unbuttoned all the way, Harry pulls Louis upward.  Louis loves this position more than any of the others.  It feels intimate to have Harry sitting in his lap and pressed skin-to-skin with him. 

Harry crosses his legs behind Louis' back, pulling him in that much closer, then breathes in a long and slow kiss with Louis.

Louis is relaxing deeper into it when the hall floor boards creak.  His eyes fly open, and over Harry's shoulder he sees Zayn spare a blank glance to them before continuing on as if nothing had happened.

Louis rests his forehead against Harry's shoulder.  "Sorry."  He whispers.

Harry hugs him and rubs his back.  "It's okay.  We should get going too while it's still nice and bright out."

"Yeah."  Louis feels guilty though. 

They change into their swim trunks and Louis looks expectantly at Harry.  "Well?"

"You ready?"  Harry bounces on the balls of his feet.

"This is literally all we need?"  Louis asks.

"Yep!  Everything else is taken care of."  Harry grins from ear to ear.

"Alrighty then."  Louis slips on his pumas and follows Harry out the door.

"I'm driving though."  Harry announces.

"Why?"  Louis hands him the keys anyway.

"Because it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you where to go."  Harry says simply.

Louis gets into the passenger side and pulls out a cigarette.

Harry starts the car but places a hand on Louis' arm. 

Louis' hand freezes just as he's about to click the lighter.  "Yes?"

"Can I ask that you don't smoke till after our date?"  Harry asks nervously.

Louis instantly puts the butt back into the pack.  "Of course.  May I ask why?"

"I just don't want you to be short of breath."  Harry says, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth in a way that's completely different from his intentions earlier.

"I'm kind of always short of breath in case you haven't noticed."  Louis points out.

"Yeah, but like... never mind."  Harry puts the car into reverse.  "You can smoke if you want."

Louis hands Harry his sunglasses while putting on his own.  "Don't 'never mind' me.  Tell me what this is about."

Harry shoves the shades onto his face to cover his eyes.  "I just want you to be able to enjoy this afternoon."

"I will."  Louis promises, tossing his pack of cigarettes into the glove box.  "And I'll be in my fullest breathing capacity for the entirety of it."  He teases lightly.

Harry sticks his tongue out and then turns on the radio.  It's a peaceful and music-filled 45 minutes before Harry turns the car into the parking lot for a marina.

"We boating?"  Louis thinks he knows where this is going.

"Something like that."  Harry smirks.

"Last time I tried scuba diving, I panicked under the pressure of the water."  Louis feels like he may as well be up front about it, even if it makes him sound like a bit of an asshole.

"I'm not taking you scuba diving you snot.  Stop trying to ruin my date."  Harry parks Louis' car and walks around to get the car door for him.

Louis purses his lips.  "Sorry.  Just trying to be prepared."

Harry entwines his hand with Louis'.  "Just let it happen babe.  I'll take care of you."

Louis laughs to hide how much something so small actually means to him.

They pass a couple docking stations of boats, seagulls running around and begging for food.  The boats get larger and larger and Louis wonders at what point they'll turn down a pier. 

Louis is hardly familiar with boats, like, at all.  But the pier they turn down... he's pretty sure classifies as yacht status. 

Louis tries not to trip or do anything stupid because the boats feel really big and he feels really small with his hand in Harry's. 

Then there's a man who steps into their field of vision and bows to Harry.  "Master Styles."

"Hey Var."  Harry greets the man.

"I am here to assist you and you friend with anything today.  Val will be your captain."  Var ushers them up into the giant boat.

Louis tugs on Harry's pinky and whispers in his ear.  "Why are they all V names?"

Harry shrugs.  "Coincidence."

"Whose boat is this?"  Louis dares ask.

"My father's company yacht."  Harry grins.

What the fuck?

"Wait- does he know?"  Louis looks around for surveillance cameras.

"Sorry, _private_ company yacht."  Harry clarifies.  "Just the four of us on the boat now.  No cameras, don't worry."  Harry winks at him.

"So he doesn't know?"  Louis has a stomachache already.

"You're so cute when you're all stressed."  Harry teases as he pulls Louis through the main saloon and dining room that look luxurious enough for magazines.

"Harry, are you hijacking your father's company boat?"  Louis stops and demands an answer from Harry, while trying not to stare at the enormous sectional couch set up that he wants to jump and roll around on.

"Technically I own part of it since I own stocks in the company."  Harry says politically.

Louis squeezes Harry's hand.  "Oh my God, why are you being a pain in-"

"Master Styles, your father offered a company gift for your client and potential investor."  Var holds out a bottle of champagne.

Louis looks even more bewildered.

"And he sends his regards to Louis."  Var throws him a sneaky wink.

Louis turns to Harry accusingly.  "You're the snot, not me!  God!  You were about to give me a fucking heart attack."

"Told you I didn't want you to be short of breath."  Harry gives him a pretentious look.

"You're a dick."  Louis smiles.  "Your dad- he's knows you're with me then?"

Harry nods.  "I asked him if I could to take you on a date.  He said we could as long as I mentioned business at some point or another so that our use of it is admissible."

Louis rolls his eyes.  Rich business men.  He will never understand. 

He also wonders why Desmond is knowingly allowing Harry to use the yacht with him, seeing as Louis is the reason Harry is banned from his own home.  He decides to ask about it later.

"I'll be honest, this is my first time on a yacht."  Louis lets himself look at the expensive interior in more detail this time.

"I'm sure it will be your first time getting drunk off of Dom Perignon too."  Harry jests.

Louis opens his mouth and realizes he has absolutely no retort for that.  "So we're getting drunk off rich champagne on your rich father's yacht?"

"Maybe later if I'm in the mood."  Harry says airily.

"Jesus, who even are you?"  Louis laughs.

"Oh, I'm Harry Styles, son of Desmond Styles.  You've definitely heard of me- probably from the short time I spent fucking up the U.A.E. deal for the company.  If you didn't hear of that, then I'm sure you heard me fucking the VP of International Affairs at the last company retreat."  Harry says with way too much confidence.

"God, so this is who you are outside of the Platitat and our house?"  Louis is mostly amused.  He kind of wants Harry to keep going with it.

"Basically.  Only, you know, without the kissing and telling part.  I'll usually drop a non-subtle hint during my intro, but I never give out names."  Harry laughs.  "Come then, let me give you the tour."

Louis is dragged from room to room, each filled with polished mahoganies, glass chandeliers, and silk sheets and shades.  Harry shows him every inch of the yacht, telling him every bit of information about it.  It all goes in one ear and right out the other, but Harry seems to have strong opinions on a lot of the intricate details.  Louis wonders if it's because he truly cares, or just always had to have an opinion to be able to make conversation with others who do.

Louis didn't even realize they had started moving and left the shore until they were up in the sky lounge and Louis watched the coast move along with the wakes in the ocean.  Harry dragged Louis onto the sun deck after that and they spent the rest of the ride smelling the salty sea air.

The yacht comes to a stop at a cliffy shoreline.

"So now we jump in and splash each other with water?"  Louis doesn't even care.  They could lay out on the swimming deck and not even touch the water and he'd be perfectly content.

"We could."  Harry taps his chin thoughtfully.  "Or, we could go snorkeling and I can show you a cove I found." 

Louis hasn't felt this giddy in... a very long time.

Harry opens a hidden cabinet (there seem to be lots of those on the boat) that houses all of the snorkeling gear.  They drag all of it out onto the swimming deck and help each other into the wetsuits.  Harry gives Louis the run-down of all the snorkeling gear, what it's for, and how to use it. 

Once Louis finally feels confident that he won't accidentally suffocate himself, he runs through the signals with Harry again and they share a kiss. 

Harry slides closer to the azure blue edge and holds Louis' hand.  "If you have trouble breathing at any point, just let me know- we can pause and take a break anytime."

Louis nods, looking out at the glassy waves.  "Will do.  I think I'll be fine."

"I love you."  Harry says with giant goggle bug eyes.

"I love you too."  Louis gives him a peck on the cheek, his snorkel colliding with Harry's nose.

Harry just laughs and then puts it in his mouth, fixing his goggles along with them.  Louis copies him, then Harry counts down on his fingers.

Three.

Two.

One.

Louis is pulled into the water and is pleasantly surprised that it's warm.  Warm because of summer time.  Warm because of the wetsuit.  Warm because it's Harry who's by his side.

Louis opens his eyes when he realizes he instinctively closed them.  His heart races when he realizes how deep they actually are and how far below them the ocean floor is.  Even though they're at the surface and close to the boat, Louis feels like he'll suddenly gain 500 kilograms and sink to the bottom.

He gasps in a mouthful of water, completely forgetting that Harry told him to blow really hard the second he got in the water.  He lifts his head above the surface to panic and get oxygen and Harry's wet head pops up shortly after.

Harry spits the snorkel out of his mouth.  "Lou, you okay?"

Louis coughs for a moment, his entire mouth tasting like salt.  "Sorry I just- I actually can't even remember the last time I went swimming.  Also, I think I've only worn flippers once in my life, and there's just a lot of shit on my head..."  Louis brushes his sopping fringe off his forehead.

"Right.  I'm sorry.  I'm so used to doing this- here, let's just take a moment to adjust, yeah?"  Harry holds out a hand for Louis to take.

Louis holds on, not knowing how much good it will actually do if the occasion called. 

He focuses on one thing at a time.  First, treading water with flippers.

"Just pretend you're a platypus."  Harry grins.  "Except, you know, use your feet too."

And actually, that's a comforting thought for Louis.  He knows every movement of what a platypus looks like while swimming.  He grasps on to the familiar thoughts and memories and relaxes a little.  Jerry would be proud.

He visualizes the way they propel themselves in the water and how they use their front flippers as oars.  He can do this.

"Don't forget to clear your snorkel.  Pretend you're a whale or something.  Then think of it as breathing through a straw.  Your nose is useless to you underwater."  Harry says.

"How often do you do this?"  Louis laughs.

"I used to every day during the summers.  This is the first summer I've had to work through so I haven't had hardly any time to go."  Harry says.

"Do you come here every time?"  Louis asks.

"Oh no.  Different places every time.  I usually just drive until I find a good spot to park the car and just start snorkeling."  Harry says.

Maybe it's the talking, maybe it's the desensitization, but Louis feels calm enough to continue on now.  "Well then, show me this cove of yours.  Let's try this again."

Harry gives him a squeeze to the hand.  He counts down from three again, and then they're both underwater.

Louis does much better with the technicalities this time around, and after several minutes of fighting the water, he finally learns to adapt and relax into the rhythm of the waves.  That's when Louis really starts enjoying their adventure.  The further they swim, the closer the coral becomes, and the more fish they see. 

Harry holds on to Louis' hand the entire time, anchoring them together.  The only times he pulls his hands away are to point to certain fish, and then make a heart symbol, saying that he loves that kind.  Louis doesn't think he realizes it, but Harry does it for about 90 percent of the fish they see.

The colors are vibrant, and Louis' head starts spinning after spending so much time with his head below the surface.  He taps Harry on the shoulder to get his attention, then pulls them both upward.

"Sorry, can we take a quick break?  I'm feeling a little light headed."  Louis says.

"Of course.  Here, let's swim over to that rock so you can rest."  Harry motions to a nearby rock jutting out from the cliff side.

Louis yanks his goggles off to breathe with his nose again, but it's a lot more difficult than he would have thought, considering he just spent the last half hour breathing through his mouth. 

"You okay babe?"  Harry reaches out to hold some of Louis' gear.

"Yeah.  'M fine."  Though Louis really actually feels like he's just run a triathlon.

"Are you sure?  We can head back if you need.  It doesn't matter to me either way."  Harry offers.

"How close are we exactly?"  Louis pushes his soggy hair behind his ears.

"Actually probably only 10 more minutes away."  Harry says.

Louis nods.  "That's fine.  Let's do it."  He takes a few deep breaths to prepare himself.

Harry gives the side of his cheek a small caress, and then helps Louis put his gear back on.

The last stretch of their route is also their most eventful.  Louis gets mauled by a school of fish and struggles to breathe while laughing through his snorkel.  Harry swims up to the side of a sting ray and pets its head while Louis violently motions for him not to.  After that, they're grabbing onto some rocks to venture deeper into the cove when Harry sticks his finger into a hole in a rock and gets bitten by an eel.

So when they finally surface and sit on the edge of the alcove, Louis' a little freaked out, and Harry looks like he's having the time of his life.  The alcove is shaded from the sun, and there's a ledge that they've seated themselves upon.  Small drips from the ceiling splash around next to them and the sound of the waves echoes through the cove.

"The ocean is gorgeous, but dangerous as fuck.  I have no idea what possesses you to love doing this so much."  Louis says as he inspects Harry's finger.

"Aw, you don't like snorkeling?"  Harry pouts.

"No!  It's great.  I would maybe do it like, once every 30 years though."  Louis says, only partially joking.

"So you're saying you won't go with me again until you're 60?"  Harry asks.

Louis scrunches his nose.  "On second thought, maybe once in a lifetime is enough for me."

"Fine then.  I'll be in charge of teaching our kids about ocean safety since, you know, we live next to the ocean."  Harry rolls his eyes.

Harry just. 

He just said a lot of things.

Louis doesn't really have a response for any of that right now because all he can see is Harry chasing their future kids around the beach front while Louis laughs.  In fact, he wants to be there too.  Chasing all of them in a game of tag.

Maybe it's the way snorkeling has knocked his equilibrium off kilter, or maybe it's just Harry.  But Louis leans his head on Harry's shoulder because he's feeling some really strong emotions that make him feel things.

"Lou?"  Harry asks.

"Haz, I-" Louis clears his throat and tries again.  "I think I want to stop smoking."

"What?"  Harry pulls Louis away so they can look each other in the eyes.  "Why?"

"I- I want to be around."  Louis looks down at the rocky ground filled with pockets of water.  "For the ocean safety.  To watch you... to run around with you and... " 

Louis doesn't finish his sentence.  He doesn't need to.

Harry squeezes him tightly into a hug.  "I'll support you no matter what Louis.  I'll love you no matter what."

Louis tries to calm his fluttering heart and holds tightly onto Harry's hand.  Harry doesn't let go.

~~~


	40. Chapter 39

~~~

By the time they make it back to the yacht, Louis is mentally and physically exhausted.

He heaves himself up onto the deck and just lies there dead to the world for a couple minutes while Harry exchanges some words with Var and wraps himself in a towel.

Harry kneels down by Louis' side. "Need some help?"

"Please." Louis twitches pitifully as Harry untangles him from the bondage of snorkeling gear.

Louis swim trunks come off when Harry peels the wetsuit off and Louis thinks it's probably the first time he's been naked in public. Well, public as far as ocean creatures are concerned.

Harry gives Louis his towel though, then picks up Louis bridal style and walks him to the shower inside the master suite. Harry holds Louis up through most of the shower and helps him get clean.

When they get to the bed in nothing but a pair of briefs, a platter of cheese, crackers, meat, and green grapes has been set on their night table.

"You're just a little dehydrated and need some food. It'll help a ton, I swear." Harry hands Louis a water bottle.

"I think." Louis uncaps the water. "I think you have a lot more stamina than I."

Harry shrugs. "Not really. I've just spent hundreds, possibly thousands of hours doing this. My body knows the drill. You'd get used to it after a while."

Louis doesn't realize he's downed the entire bottle until there isn't anything left to swallow. "I think you're right about me being a bit dehydrated."

"Sorry, I should have prepared you better- had you drink lots yesterday and today in preparation. I used to do that actually when I was younger." Harry says.

"So is it the marine life that got you into snorkeling, or snorkeling that got you into marine life?" Louis accepts another bottle of water from Harry.

"That's like asking if the chicken or the egg came first. I don't remember." Harry places a slice of meat and cheese on a cracker for Louis.

The salty creation tastes fucking divine and Louis makes himself another one. "You'd thinking after spending two hours in salt, we wouldn't crave salty food."

"Ironic, huh?" Harry sets up an assembly line of cracker creations for Louis.

Louis eats them all much too fast, and then the grapes are gone shortly after.

"Still hungry?" Harry grins.

"Actually, I think I'm good for now. That was perfect." Louis plops backward on the bed feeling much more grounded. "I feel loads better."

"Good." Harry thumbs at his forearm. "Shall I pour you a glass of champagne then, and then we can take a nap?"

"I think you're definitely an expert in wooing on the ocean. I don't even care if this is how you treat all the men. You've got me hook, line, and sinker." Louis sits up while watching Harry pour champagne into two glasses.

"Ha. No. You're the first person besides Gemma that I've been snorkeling with. Consider yourself special." Harry holds the glass out to Louis.

"I'll consider it after I take a wiz. I drank way too much, way too quickly." Louis heaves himself off the bed and ventures into the bathroom.

When he's finished and washing his hands he notices his face looks lush and young. It's an odd illusion of himself 10 years ago when he didn't have so much heaviness written all over his face. He wonders if it's the salt water. He wonders if Harry can see it too.

The bright and open room looks ever so inviting and Harry's pouring himself a second glass, looking ever so chic on the elegant bed. Louis sits cross legged next to Harry, and Harry and motions for him to pick up his glass.

Louis holds it by the stem and waits as Harry sits up straighter to make a posh speech.

"I would like to toast to Louis Tomlinson. The light and love of my life, without whom I would be alone and searching for a man just like him." Then Harry changes his voice from one of grandeur to something more intimate. "You're more than I could ever wish for and deserve, and I love you so much."

Louis' tone matches Harry's. "Then I toast to you, Harry Styles. For reminding me what it feels like to want to live again. For accepting and loving me through all of my flaws and fucked up DNA. I've become someone I never thought possible, and if it weren't for you, I would certainly end up alone and unhappy. I love you so dearly."

They share a sweet smile and softly clink their glasses together. The champagne is almost the sweetest thing Louis' tasted in his life, second only to Harry.

It's soft and sparkling, and so Louis drinks it all in one go. Harry's eyes shimmer over the rim of his flute, and he pours himself a third glass, then Louis a second.

"How many are you planning on having?" Louis asks as he shamelessly drinks his second glass all in one go.

"As many as I want." Harry says simply.

It's somewhere around their fourth and fifth glasses a half hour later when Louis feels like he's actually floating on the ocean.

Wait.

Floating on the clouds.

"Hazza, do you feel as soft as me?" Louis rubs the soft comforter against his skin.

"I feel softer because I get to touch you." Harry rubs a hand up and down Louis' bare chest.

"I feel the softest." Louis nuzzles his face into the pillow.

"You are the softest." Harry rubs his face against Louis' skin.

"Kiss me." Louis says.

"What kinds of kisses?" Harry drags his lips up and down the lines of Louis' body.

"All the kinds." Louis' eyes flutter shut.

Harry proceeds to lazily kiss Louis in every way and place possible until his lips are at the hem line of Louis' briefs.

"I'm still missing a few places." Harry nips at the band with his teeth.

"Do it." Louis says.

"Which thing?" Harry looks up and gives him a lopsided grin.

"Me. Please?" Louis smiles.

"Mmhmm. I can do that." Harry gives him a kiss to the belly button and then pulls off Louis' underwear.

Harry looks stunning with his face so close to Louis' skin. He simply glows, outshining any polished mahogany or crystal chandeliers.

The window is open, and the wind blows the silk curtains in the air as the breeze crisply kisses the trail of wet lip prints that Harry leaves against his skin. It smells salty and fresh when Harry takes Louis into his mouth and Louis relaxes back into the white pillow case.

Harry lets a hand feel itself up Louis' chest until his fingers are tapping for entrance at Louis' lips. Louis unsurely parts his lips open and Harry slithers his index and middle finger into the hot wetness of Louis' mouth.

Louis automatically lets his tongue graze every surface of Harry's fingers, reveling in the blend of textures and sensations. Harry curves his fingers downward and Louis sucks. The fingers that aren't in Louis' mouth are splayed across the skin on his face and make him feel engulfed in everything Harry.

Harry runs his fingers along Louis' teeth and Louis bites down on them. Down below, Harry's mouth pauses to take in a breath, so Louis takes it as his cue to bite down a little harder. Harry, in turn, licks Louis more fervently.

Louis bites down until he's sure that there will be teeth indents on his fingers. Which- _fuck_ \- it's Harry's right index and middle finger in his mouth- the middle one being the one the eel bit earlier.

Louis pulls Harry's fingers out of his mouth. "Shit, sorry I forgot-"

"Shh." Harry covers his mouth. "Felt amazing. 'M gonna prep you now, kay?"

Louis nods under Harry's hand. When Harry retracts it, Louis sees that there are, in fact, his teeth marks along the sides of his finger- complete with extra inflammation right where the eel bite is.

Louis likes how it looks though.

Harry's fingers go in him smoothly and Louis unwinds into the feeling. It's not long before Harry reaches into the nightstand drawer and pulls out a bottle of lube that's already been opened and half used.

Louis chooses not to comment on it.

Watching Harry slick himself up makes Louis want to rub it all over his body just to see if he would shine even brighter than he looks already. When Harry fills him, it's the single most wonderful thing Louis' ever felt.

Louis pets the sides of Harry's cheeks a few times before pulling him forward into a slow and wet kiss. Harry stays still inside him and Louis takes the time to let his other hand trace around the spot that he knows Harry's watercolor fish lies colorful and bright against his tan skin.

It's long and slow and every bit as perfect as Harry's existence and Louis loses himself in everything that is Harry.

~~~   
  
Louis wakes up to gentle strokes on his face.

"Lou?" Harry draws figure eights with his fingertips.

"Hmm?" Louis hums.

"We need to get up and I need to take you home. They're docking." Harry says like he's ready to run a marathon.

"I feel so..." What's the word Louis is looking for?

"Tired? Hungover?" Harry offers.

"Fucked." Louis sighs deeply. "In almost every sense of the word. It's wonderful with a dash of painful."

Harry grins and gives him a kiss to the cheek. "It was a good date."

"It was a perfect date." Louis rolls to his other side to get comfortable again. "I want to sleep here tonight."

"We could, but that would mean we'd have to get up in five hours to drive home before work." Harry says.

"I'll call in tomorrow. Conner can handle it with Marti." Louis flips his pillow over to the cold side.

"Lou-" Harry starts, but Louis interrupts him.

"I'm telling you as your boss we're taking tomorrow off. You're supposed to have Sundays off anyway. That's like, never happened since you've moved in." Louis says.

"Because why would I take a day off when I can be with you instead?" Harry asks.

"So then let's do what normal couples do and call in sick together." Louis thinks he actually left his phone at the house. He doesn't remember using it the entire car ride over. "You'll have to text him though. I left my phone at the house."

It's a weird feeling, not having his phone and not feeling like he is missing a limb. Louis isn't addicted to his phone by any means, but he definitely used to have a habit of reaching for it to text Harry or to play a game of chess. He's realized that Harry is all he actually needs for his life to feel complete.

Moments later and Harry shucks off his shirt and presses his naked body against Louis' again and they fall asleep spooning.

~~~

Louis wakes up feeling like he's floating. Being rocked back and forth by the ocean. Then he realizes the sun is rising from a different part of the room and opens his eyes to unfamiliar surroundings.

Harry's here though and that makes everything okay.

Louis admires the sun-kissed skin of Harry during the few minutes it takes for memories of yesterday to start coming back. Both of their lips are slightly chapped from the salt-heavy air.

It's almost completely relaxed and peaceful except for the fact that he has a raging headache.

He groans as he licks his lips and sits up and looks for his pack of cigarettes. He shuffles through the nightstand drawer and bathroom trying to remember where he set them. God, he hates when he forgets things like this.

Granted, he gives himself a little slack because of the alcohol consumption from yesterday. The Alzheimer's has yet to set in, he thinks triumphantly.

That's when he remembers the last cigarette he smoked was before work yesterday. It has officially been 24 hours, and Louis needs a fucking smoke.

He puts on the discarded briefs from last night and searches the entire yacht for even one spare cig.

He walks up to the top deck and leans against the rail to try taking some deep breaths in the meantime.

Harry joins him a few minutes later.

"How'd you sleep?" Harry looks Louis up and down.

"Like a baby." Louis says.

"Then why are you agitated?" Harry asks carefully.

"I don't remember where I left my pack of cigarettes. M'brain's still a bit foggy from last night." Louis says.

Harry looks unusually surprised at Louis' statement, but answers it nonetheless. "You left it in the glove box of the car."

Louis rolls his eyes at himself. Right. Because he's an idiot and can't remember things as simple as that.

"Sorry, don't mean to kill the mo', but I need to run to the car really quick. Where's the keys?" Louis walks back into the room and puts his now-dry swimming trunks on.

Harry quickly shuffles around to put his on too. "Here, I'll go with you. I have them."

"No it's fine. You looked much comfier in bed." Louis holds a hand out for the keys.

"No, I'll come with." Harry shoves his flip-flops on his feet and takes Louis' hand instead.

Louis tries not to let Harry's exuberance get to him.

He's just irritable is all. It's okay really. He loves mornings. He loves waking up on a yacht in the ocean. He loves Harry. There's nothing to be irritable about.

Except his headache that won't let him forget that it's been 24 hours since a smoke. If he'd have had a blunt last night, it certainly would have helped. But that didn't happen. And well, when he thinks about it, he hasn't been smoking blunts hardly at all anymore. They've all just been joints because he hasn't wanted Harry to intake nicotine.

Weird.

"Haz?" Louis asks.

"Hmm?" Harry kicks some kelp off the dock and back into the sea.

"Do you ever feel nicotine withdrawals? Like, there's a little bit in the cigar wrappings. I just didn't know if you've ever noticed it." It's always been something Louis' wondered and only partially worried about.

"No. Don't think so." Harry hums. "I get really strong cravings for weed if we don't smoke every night, but it's not like I'll die if I don't smoke it. I would just really prefer to because it makes life so much nicer."

Louis smiles. "Spoken like a true addict. Damn, what have I done to you?"

Harry rolls his eyes. " _You_ didn't do anything. It was my choice remember?"

"Yes, yes I remember." Louis dismisses.

Harry pulls the keys out of his pocket and flips them around his finger. Louis notes that it's an anxious flipping, not a nonsensical flipping. "So... how are you going to do this then?"

"Do what?" Louis asks.

"The smoking thing?" Harry eyes Louis from the corner of his eyes.

"Er, I'll just have one or four really quick and then we can get back to the yacht. I just have a fucking killer headache since I haven't had one in a while." Louis thinks it's kind of an odd question to ask, but maybe Harry's just really anxious to get back to relaxing on the boat.

"And then you'll just go the rest of the day without any?" Harry changes the finger that he flips the keys around on. "I don't care- I just... I'm just curious."

What? Louis feels like he's missing a vital part of this conversation.

"What are you talking about? Why would I go the rest of the day without any?" Louis waits for Harry to unlock the car before yanking the door open and shuffling through the glove box.

Finally. Sweet relief. Just the carton in his hands has his headache dissipating. He finds the lighter and pulls a stick out between his lips.

He's about to light the tip when Harry speaks up.

"You said you wanted to stop smoking." Harry says, looking horribly guilty.

Louis coughs and burns his thumb on the lighter. "Fuck! Sorry, what?"

"Yesterday, at- when we were snorkeling. We were talking about... things... and you said you wanted to stop." Harry looks at Louis like he's about to bungie jump from Ayer's Rock.

"Oh shit- I- I..." The words and the scene flood back into his brain. "Fuck, I completely forgot." He forgot. Like he forgets everything. Like he will continue to forget more and more things.

Harry reaches out to place a hand on Louis' hip. "No, it's fine! We were drinking and- my brain's still a big fuzzy too. It's fine. Even if you changed your mind since yesterday, that's fine too. I don't care, I still love you either way."

His headache is back full force, but there's a sweet note that teases along the edges of his mind when he thinks about why. His why is because of Harry. Because he and Harry have a future and Louis wants to be there for it. At this point, he doesn't know if he'll be around physically or mentally for longer, but he wants as much of whatever he can get of it with Harry. Harry and their future family.

He puts the unlit cigarette back in the pack and tosses it into the garbage can next to the car. "I have no idea how the fuck I'm going to do this, and- I'm definitely going to need some once in a while because cold turkey isn't really an option. But for now, I'll just go as long as I can."

It's already been the first 24 hours which are supposed to be the hardest, so why the hell not? It's a good place to start. His headache is bearable anyway. He just needs some naproxen and some weed.

Harry's looking him up and down and his other hand wraps around Louis' waist. "Anything's fine babe. Just tell me what I can do to help."

"Fuck. Just." Louis breathes out. "Just remind me we have a future. That's all it is. That's all it takes. I can do this."

Harry's entire face lights up. "I mean, how thick do you want me to lay it on? Shall I send you pictures of wedding tuxedos? Order blueprints for our future house? Morph our faces together on Photoshop to see what our kids will look like?"

Louis laughs hysterically and lets his head fall forward into Harry's shoulder. "Maybe save those things for the really hard days. I think 'I love you's and gentle insinuations should be enough for now."

Harry kisses up the side of his neck. "Okay future husband. I love you forever."

Louis snickers in between kisses to Harry's neck. "I think Zayn was right. There's not a whole lot of middle ground with you. But that's what I adore most about you."

Harry pulls back. "What?"

Louis shakes his head. "Nothing. Call me your future husband again."

"Kiss me, my future husband." Harry grins.

So Louis does.

~~~


	41. Chapter 40

A/N: I'm working on the back cover for the published version of this book :D I would love to put a couple reviews from you guys on there!! So here's what I'm looking for: a concise and short 1-3 sentence review on your opinion of this book and specific reason(s) why you like it. What sets it apart from other books? :)

Comment here with the review, your name or username that you would like to be known by, and your age if you would like to have that on there as well :)

Love you guys so much!! You are amazing xxx

-Dannie :)

~~~ 

It's Christmas Eve day and Louis' birthday and he hasn't smoked a cigarette since he threw his pack away.

It's bitter sweet.

He wishes he would have known his last cigarette was, in fact, his last cigarette; but he thinks it actually makes it easier. To have something gone before he realized he had to let it go. He almost wishes it's what would happen with Harry. That Harry would just... not be there one morning and Louis wouldn't realize his last kiss goodbye was the last kiss until he realized Harry was gone.

He knows, logically, that he'll be able to see Harry. He's sure they'll take turns visiting. But he also doesn't want to set his expectations so high that he ends up disappointed.

The sweet part of it all is that Louis, for once in his life, gets to live and think in the future a bit. It's invigorating and inspiring to think about making plans for himself and Harry, and to have the freedom to let his mind create dreams for them.

Louis' mind is trailing off and creating images of Harry dropping their kids off at the Platitat for bring-your-kids-to-work day and the two of them watching their young ones play in the pond with their floaties as Perry nuzzles up to them.

Louis feels way too fucking emotional for 9am on his birthday, so he grasps onto the stainless steel refrigerator handle that he's managed to miss for the last five minutes and opens it to get his mind focused on breakfast.

Except there's his favorite kind of spice cake and Belgian waffles staring him in the face with a note that says:

_Lou,_

_Sorry I have to miss your 30th- I'll be Melbourne with Derek the next few days._

_Happy Birthday_

_Love, Zayn_

Louis shuts the fridge and gets back in bed with Harry.

"Did you get some breakfast love?" Harry asks.

"I don't want breakfast." Louis lets Harry spoon him so he doesn't have to face him. Harry is the same size as him now.

"I'll go make some for you." Harry gives him a kiss to the back of his neck and gets out of bed.

Louis is alone in bed for a minute before Harry comes back and leans against the door jamb.

"D'you want waffles?" Harry asks carefully.

Louis doesn't say anything.

"Do you want to text him?" Harry tries for a different question.

Louis' text history shows that he hasn't texted Zayn in so long that he's not even visible on the first few scrolls of his phone, which says a fucking lot since Louis really only texts a few people.

"I'll just... I'll make you a parfait and you can change your mind if you want." Harry leaves for the kitchen again.

Louis decides to shower.

So he grabs Queen Gohma and turns on the water.

He likes showering with Gohma. She keeps him company and likes getting humid. He and Harry installed a little shelf that they keep her on while they clean themselves. After the first few times, she seemed to get the memo, and now when she's on her shower shelf she lifts her legs up and cleans herself with her mandibles.

He whistles to fill the silence of the shower and is glad Gohma is here to keep him company. He wonders if this is what it will feel like when Harry is in Brisbane.

When he's done with his shower, he sets their pet on his shoulder and slips into sweat pants. He rolls a joint for himself to clear his head and enjoys the summer morning on the smoking couch with Gohma.

The joint all for himself before breakfast gets him a little on the side of baked, but he really kind of needs it.

When he meanders back inside, he chooses not to look at the kitchen and instead sits on the old couch that looks incredibly out of place, sandwiched between the flat screen television and souped up kitchen.

The carpet on the living room floor remains the same though. Louis wonders if that's what Harry would have upgraded next had he and Zayn not said anything.

Only, at this point, the living room carpet probably won't ever be the same because the Douglas Fir has shed thousands of fucking needles into the carpet that will likely never be fully extracted.

At least it will always smell like Christmas.

The only downside is getting their feet pricked every time they walk barefoot- which is all the time- but it's not the worst thing in the world.

The television turns on and changes to a Christmas station. Harry plops behind him moments later.

"Is this okay? We can listen to whatever you want." Harry hands Louis a parfait.

"It's lovely Hazza." Louis mixes the fruit and granola into the yoghurt and brings a bite up to his mouth. "Thank you for breakfast."

"Of course." Harry kisses his cheek and bumps Louis' hand, making him smear yoghurt on his lips. "Happy 30th birthday."

Louis licks his lips off. "I could go without the 30th part. A simple 'happy birthday' would suffice."

"But why?" Harry snuggles in closer to him. "It makes you sound so... mature." He draws out the last syllable of the word into Louis' ear.

"You would like that." Louis lets himself relax into the teasing. "Little teenage Hazzie and his 30-year-old boyfriend."

"Mmm, yes." Harry lets a hand travel in between Louis' legs and start teasing him. "So established and well off and educated." He nips at Louis' collar bone.

Louis laughs and sets his parfait to the side.

"So what special treatment does the birthday-" Harry shrieks and jumps back. "Holy fuck!"

Louis laughs some more. "Sorry. Should have given you a heads up. Gohma is on my shoulder."

"Shit, thanks for the warning." Harry rolls his eyes. "Next time let me know before she sticks a leg on my face."

"Sorry, sorry." Louis shifts her from his shoulder onto Harry's.

Harry sighs in resignation and leans back against the couch. "What do you want to do today then?"

"I just want to stay here honestly." Louis swings his legs over Harry's.

"Want to show me your mad skills on A Link to the Past?" Harry offers.

"Yeah actually. That sounds perfect." Louis gets to the floor to switch the Mario Paint cartridge to Zelda.

"Then later we can smoke some more and get our sexy on?" Harry uses his seductive voice.

Louis sits himself beside Harry again and gives him a long, open-mouthed kiss.

He threads his hands behind Harry's neck, feeling the legs of their pet tarantula tickle his fingers. Harry gives his hips a promising squeeze.

Louis lets Harry's bottom lip slide out slowly between his teeth. "Sounds fucking perfect babe."

~~~

Z

It's January 1st and Zayn feels like his body is a pathetic puddle of a dozen melted pieces of steel.

He conveniently worked out of town with Derek over Louis' birthday and Christmas, and then spent last night getting drunk off his ass at Blue Grounds for New Year's.

He and Lucas were fully plastered by the time midnight came around, so it wasn't hard at all for him to jump over the top of the bar and snog the hell out of Liam.

Which would explain why when he opens his eyes, he's in Liam's room.

He'll have to have Liam brief him on what happened last night because after that point is when he blacked out.

Probably not the best of circumstances in which to have a first kiss and God-knows-what-else with Liam. Liam is kind hearted and fucking sexy. He's been a best friend to Zayn over the last six months. Zayn would hate it if he fucked all of that up, but what's done is done and quite frankly, it could have been so much worse.

His body feels like shit, his brain feels like shit, and his heart feels like shit.

His new job is amazing and wonderful, and it's a step in the right direction, but Zayn knows there's still more shit he has to sort through to get to where he wants to be.

He sits up and rubs his fists into his eyes. Bless Liam for having black out curtains.

He doesn't even want to know what time of the day it is, but he knows the sun will be far too much for him at the moment.

"Morning." Liam says.

"Morning." Zayn repeats.

It's silent for a moment and Zayn looks at Liam and Liam looks at Zayn.

"Look, I'm going to be up front about this. I'm not a morning person and I have no idea what the fuck happened last night after midnight, so I apologize in advance. I hope I didn't fuck things up between us." Zayn says.

"I'm not a morning person either. 'S why I work at a bar. Late night job." Liam smiles. "I also don't take it to heart when I get called other people's names while performing oral on someone. I'm pretty easy going."

"Fuck." Zayn runs a hand through his fallen quiff. "I was really, really drunk. I'm sorry."

"Don't even worry about it." Liam says.

Zayn lays back down next to Liam. "It's January first."

"Happy New Year." Liam jokes.

Zayn cracks a smile at that. "Li, I'd love to... do this again sometime."

Liam seems to sense the hesitation. "But?"

"But I don't know where you're at with any of this or what you're looking for." Zayn turns on his side to face Liam, deciding that having an honest conversation this early in the morning is a very adult thing of him to do.

"I think you're a fantastic man Zayn. I'm lucky to be with you in any way at any time." Liam chuckles. "Not meaning to sound desperate or anything. All I'm saying is I trust you and I like you a lot. After my last relationship I'm really not in a rush to get into another one."

"So this..." Zayn motions between them. "Is okay with you for now?"

Liam nods. "You're worth the wait; and like I said, I'm not in a rush either."

Zayn leans down to give Liam a kiss. "I've gotta run. There's a thing I have to do. You working tonight?"

Liam nods.

Zayn gives him a thin smile. "I'll see you tonight then."

Liam returns a sad smile. "See you tonight."

Zayn smokes four cigarettes from the time it takes him to get from Liam's house to Taronga. The clock on his dash tells him that Louis is just finishing giving the first platypus presentation.

After today, the band-aides will both be ripped off at once and things can start going back to normal. Zayn can start breathing again.

He paces around the outside of his car to smoke a fifth before going in. He specifically tries to not think ahead about what he's about to do. It's not like he hasn't already run through the scenario a hundred times in his head.

He lets Liam out of his mind for now, having a temporary understanding between the both of them. Fuck, if only it had been that simple with Harry and Louis.

It was certainly supposed to be, but things in Zayn's life just don't end up going that way.

He tries not to think about what could start going wrong with Liam.

He takes a breath and throws the butt of his cig into the ashtray on the way in through the employee entrance. He punches in the code that they haven't changed and puts one foot in front of the other to get to the Platitat.

He pauses with his hand on the door handle and watches through the small window. From just meters away, Zayn can see and feel how different the Platitat is. Louis and Harry walk around each other expertly without touching and focus their energy and attention towards Marti.

It looks emptier without him.

He opens the door and all heads turn towards him. He's sure he looks somewhere between unkempt and average, but it would be an accurate expression of how he feels inside.

Marti is the first to break the silence. "Are you coming back to work?"

Louis and Harry instantly look at each other, and Zayn ignores his thumping heart.

Louis assesses the situation and looks at Marti. "Let's go to lunch."

Louis acknowledges neither Harry nor Zayn as he and Marti leave, and when the door shuts behind them, the distance feels heavy and thick.

He can see Harry mentally debating on whether he should speak first or not. Whether he should go the carefree route or keep it serious.

Zayn would start speaking now, except he's forgotten everything he's previously rehearsed.

"Why are you here?" Harry finally asks.

"Sounds fucking stupid now, but I wanted to say goodbye." It took Zayn up until this very moment to realize that he doesn't even have a right to say goodbye to Harry. It doesn't serve any kind of purpose and only tears the sutures off of Zayn's heart.

"It's not stupid." Harry picks up his platypus that is glued to his feet. "Just, why now? Like, you've ignored me for weeks."

"I know." Zayn says. "And I- I do and I don't regret doing that."

Harry's chest expands a bit as his breathing increases. "So you came to invade my workspace and personal life to say 'sorry, not sorry, and goodbye'? You couldn't have waited till later tonight at our house?"

"I'll be out tonight." Zayn says.

"Like you've done almost every night. Avoiding your problems." Harry says sternly.

"You don't know shit about my problems Harry." Zayn scoffs.

"Maybe I would if you talked to me about them. I know you're acting like a twat to Louis, but you don't have to piss around with me Zayn." Harry says.

Zayn stays silent and Harry keeps petting Perry.

"This is going to end once I leave right?" Harry asks. "The ignoring and the binge drinking? Once I'm gone, you're going to treat Louis like a decent human being again?"

Zayn wants to roll his eyes, but he doesn't because Harry isn't wrong. "Yeah. It will."

"So this is more of 'good riddance' than 'goodbye'?" Harry pushes, not meaning to let the emotion show through his voice.

Zayn doesn't mean to stonewall, but it's the only thing that's kept him protected all these years. "Sure Haz. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Which, he wants to throw in a satirical remark about Louis helping him sleep at night, but it's uncalled for. Doesn't mean he doesn't think about it though.

"You know, this whole thing could have ended differently right? You didn't have to make this end with hating me." Harry's voice strains lightly and Perry starts struggling around in his arms.

"You know you can end up smothering platypuses if you hold them too much. They're not meant to be domesticated." Zayn's voice sounds foreign to his own ears. Like it's coming from somewhere far away.

"Maybe I would know that if you still worked here." Harry puts Perry on the ground and raises his voice a little. "And it's _platypodes_. Which you would know if you ever listened to Louis."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do." Zayn seethes.

"Then stop treating your friends like you're a fucking asshole!" Harry yells.

Zayn's upset. Really fucking upset. So he takes a couple steps forward and grabs Harry by the hair to kiss him hard.

It's the first time they've ever kissed without Louis present and it's completely different. Harry bites back fiercely and Zayn tightens his grip in his hair. Their tongues slide together roughly between teeth and Zayn crowds Harry back against the prep table.

Their hips grind against each other and Zayn yanks Harry's head back to suck a harsh hickey into his neck. Harry's knees give out and his weight rests complete into Zayn.

"I hate what you've done to me. To Louis. I hate what you've done to us." Zayn says against his skin.

"It's your fault. You started this Zayn." Harry whispers back.

"And it ends now." Zayn bites down harder into the mark he's left on Harry. "Goodbye."

Harry bites at Zayn's jaw, then at his lips again. "It's not goodbye. I'll be back. Take care of my boyfriend in the meantime."

Zayn takes a moment to really look into Harry's eyes. To really see him and let Harry see who he is behind the walls.

"I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about what could have been if Louis wasn't in the picture." Zayn admits.

Harry gives him a somber smile, like he's digging up a memory from his past. "You won't. But you'll learn to live with it."

And Zayn believes him.

"I love you Haz." Zayn thumbs over the dark purple mark on his neck.

"I love you too Zayn." Harry says with a softer smile this time.

Zayn wonders how the hell Harry deals with all of the love and passion and sadness that he's experienced in his lifetime. Knowing that he'll probably never get a chance to ask him about it gives Zayn feelings that need to be drowned in alcohol.

They kiss softer this time. A kiss of promise and sadness and want. A kiss that, had they been in a parallel universe, would mean something completely different than it does now.

Zayn pushes the curls out of Harry's face and kisses him deeper. But the deeper he goes, the deeper it hurts.

Harry either must feel it too or simply decides to give Zayn mercy by being the one to pull away.

Zayn plants his hands on the table, bracketing Harry's chest, and lets his forehead lean against him for a moment. He can feel Harry composing himself, but Zayn isn't ready to get there yet. He can't. He's so completely a mess that he doesn't think he'll ever get there.

Harry removes himself from Zayn's arms and leaves the Platitat without another word.

Zayn punches the stainless steel table as hard as he can and it leaves a depression in the shape of his fist.

~~~

L

Louis doesn't see Harry until five minutes before he's supposed to be presenting for the afternoon show.

When he does show up, it's with red, glossy, and glazed eyes and matching lips.

There's a dark purple bruise on the side of his neck.

Louis doesn't say anything about it.

~~~

"Haz-" Louis stares at his bedroom ceiling. "I'm sorry- sorry, just..."

Harry frees his mouth. "Am I doing something wrong? You can... you can tell me what to do, it's fine. I'm good with taking pointers."

Louis pulls Harry up so he's face to face with him. "No, sorry... Just, not really in the mood right now."

"I knew I should have massaged you first." Harry brushes a stray lock of hair into Louis' fringe and pets him a few times. "Or maybe we smoked too much? That can happen right? It makes it harder to get up?"

"Never been an issue for me. Other people maybe." Louis chuckles humorlessly.

"What is it then? Need to split some kale chips with me?" Harry sits himself atop Louis' chest and twirls circles on his décolletage.

Now that Harry is up and in his vision, all he can see is the dark purple mark on his neck.

"Do I want to know?" Louis asks, reaching up to thumb over the inflamed skin.

Harry's face stays neutral. "That depends on what your question is."

"I don't know." Louis lets his hand fall to the watercolor fish tattoo on Harry's side.

"Then I suggest you don't ask until you have that sorted out." Harry says a little too sternly.

"You don't have to get knotted up over it." Louis furrows his eyebrows. "I apologize for being an imperfect person and wondering why my boyfriend has a hickey on his neck that wasn't put there by me."

Harry rolls his eyes. "This is really how you want to spend our last night together?"

Louis props himself up on his elbows. "You tell me. I'm not the one getting his neck sucked by the flat mate who isn't my boyfriend."

Harry dismounts Louis and sits facing away from him. "You know, contrary to popular belief, it's actually _not_ an attractive trait to get possessive and jealous. It's just a tape measure for measuring your insecurity."

Louis scoffs. "Again, pardon my imperfection. I guess I just had a different idea in mind when we committed ourselves to each other. Didn't realize you'd forget about me so soon."

Harry turns sharply to look at him. "Louis, it's Zayn. _Zayn_. It's not like I went and bent over for some random man on the street corner, God. I honestly didn't expect this from you." He gets up and snatches his boxers to slide them on.

"So that's what happened then? It was a consensual fucking? I was beginning to wonder whether Zayn left the mark as a nice 'fuck you Louis' going away gift." Louis gathers the sheets around his waist and takes Harry's previous place on the side of the bed.

"Shit, really Louis? You think we fucked in the Platitat in the middle of the work day? You think Zayn is vindictive and conniving and trying to ruin your life?" Harry yanks open his clothing drawer to pull on pajama pants. "I can't believe you don't know him better than that. I do, and I'm not the one who's known him for 20 years."

"Harry, I'm not a fucking mind reader! How the hell am I supposed to know what you or he are thinking without actual communication? Even my best inference might be completely off the mark, and regardless, that's not fair to place on either of you if you're willing to talk to me about it." Louis strains.

"You don't even have to ask to know what Zayn's problem is. It's _so_ obvious." Harry slams the drawer shut again.

Louis throws an arm in the air, completely baffled. "Do tell me then, oh wise one."

"He's envious. That's literally all it comes down to. Envious of you, your boyfriend, your job, your entire life. It's stupidly obvious." Harry pulls a sweater over his head. "And you, you're just jealous. It's just petty jealousy that you would know how to deal with had you been with more than three men your whole life."

"That's the most absurd bullshit I've ever heard. Zayn has absolutely _nothing_ to be envious over my life, except that I have you. I don't have a family, I have a shitty past, I have a job that makes me look like a deadbeat, I have a fucked over future-" Louis cuts himself off from finishing his thought because Harry is laughing sarcastically.

"You don't have a fucking clue Louis. You really don't get it." Harry shakes his head.

"What?" Louis asks, exasperated.

"I can't explain it to you. You have to figure this out for yourself. Don't worry though... It will be a lot easier once I'm gone." Then with that, Harry closes the bedroom door behind him.

Louis feels like somebody has just thrown a textbook at his face and told him to memorize it in the next 30 seconds. He has no fucking clue what to do with all this information. None of it makes sense, and Louis doesn't even know where to start.

He hears Harry yelp as he (presumably) gets stuck by a needle from the Douglas Fir that they still haven't taken down, and the couch protests as Harry plops his weight down onto it.

Louis flops backward onto his bed to stare at his bedroom ceiling again. His first night alone in his bed for the next year apparently starts now.

~~~


	42. Chapter 41

 

A/N: I love you guys despite what I put you through ^_^ Also, I apologize for the day late update... I have been dropping the ball lately. Feel free to leave hate below xxxx

~~~

When the morning comes, Louis' bed is still empty and he honestly wishes Harry would have left without saying goodbye.

But the front door opens, which is odd because everybody uses the side door, and Louis deducts that it's Harry probably loading his suitcases into his car.

Louis gets up, not bothering to throw on pants over his briefs and walks into the living room.

Harry is standing there looking lively, vibrant, and holding a bouquet of forget-me-nots in his arms.

Louis scratches his mussed hair and pushes it off his forehead, hoping the grease will keep it from falling back.

"These are for you." Harry holds them out towards Louis.

Louis takes a few steps forward to accept them. "Thank you... why?"

"Because I love you and I'm sorry for last night; and to remind you I won't forget you. I'll love you forever Louis, and I'll be back. It's going to be short- time will fly by, and we'll visit each other, and it will be like no time has passed." Harry says, resting both hands on Louis' shoulders.

Louis blankly stares at the periwinkle petals and then back into Harry's beryl eyes. "I don't- God Harry, I don't want you to go."

"I'll be back, I swear. I'll come back for you. I'll love you always and forever, and a few kilometers aren't going to change anything, okay?" Harry squeezes his shoulders a little tighter.

Louis sets the flowers on the couch and hugs Harry tightly.

They rock back and forth in each other's arms for a minute, then Harry kisses his forehead. "I have to go. Call me when you're at lunch, yeah? And I'll FaceTime you and show you my new place. Or we can Skype? I'll see you later tonight, okay?"

Louis nods into his chest, not wanting to let go. "I love you."

"I love you too Lou." Harry tilts his chin up to kiss him deeply.

Louis kisses back, already missing the taste of Harry. Already missing the way Harry's body feels pressed against his.

Louis clings a little firmer into his skin, and realizes it doesn't matter how tightly he holds on, Harry is going to leave either way.

So when he lets go, it's almost a relief because the sooner Harry leaves, the sooner he can stop missing him. It's as simple as grieving then accepting. Just like Louis has done his whole life. Once he's accepted he's in Sydney and Harry's in Brisbane, the quicker it will make an easier year apart for the both of them.

"I love you Haz." Louis breathes against his lips.

"Love you too babe." Harry kisses his forehead. "I have to go."

Harry lets his hands drag down from Louis' shoulder until their fingertips are the last point of contact, and then they let go.

Harry gives him one last smile before closing the door behind him.

Louis does what he's knows how to do best, and goes to work.

~~~

The Platitat feels like a ghost town. Like it's haunted with ghosts of what used to be Louis' past. The ghost of himself and Zayn as teenagers running around in the pond, unclogging the drains, chasing the platypodes, chasing their dreams.

Louis presents the morning show, relying only on himself and Marti.

Perry paces the Platitat all day. He grunts and paces back and forth in every corner, waddling around on the prep room cement floor until his knuckles start looking inflamed. Louis has to set up a gate to prevent Perry from hurting himself.

Lunchtime comes and Louis stares at his phone.

He looks up, expecting to see Zayn and Harry. _Wishing_ more than anything that he would look up and see Zayn and Harry. Hear the sound of Zayn perking up with his midday coffee. Hear the sound of Harry humming Queen songs.

But with just himself and Marti, it's silent.

"So Harry like, quit?" Marti asks.

"He accepted another opportunity elsewhere." Louis picks up his phone to stare at it some more.

"So he quit." She reiterates.

Louis doesn't say anything.

He doesn't want to call Harry. Calling Harry means acknowledging that they are apart. Acknowledging that they won't be within proximity with each other hardly at all for the next year.

"Did you guys break up?" Marti asks.

Louis' neck snaps up at that. "What?"

"I know you two were together. I'm not blind." Marti says.

Louis' phone trembles slightly in his hand. He's really craving a smoke, but he doesn't even have that anymore.

Marti speaks again. "Harry was really awesome. I really looked up to him. You and Zayn are awesome too, but like, Harry was really great."

"He didn't die. You don't have to talk about him in past tense. He's still here. He's still coming back." Louis says more to himself.

Marti seems to get the memo and stays quiet as Louis decides to text Harry.

**Sorry.. running behind so we're having a quick lunch today. Call you later tonight?**

He sends it and sets his phone aside to pick at his sweet potato fries, pushing most of them to the side.

"So are you going to hire another intern then? For the next six months? Or is going to be just you and me?" Marti asks.

"Yeah, one of the Reptile Rangers is moving over to the Platitat. His name is Jonah." Louis says. "He'll be starting-"

"Hey! Listen!"

Louis drops his fork and his heart rate picks up as he unlocks his phone.

**It's okay babe! Miss you already.. give Perry lots of kisses for me xoxo**

There's a selfie that Harry snapped in his Bentley with the ocean behind him. He's wearing his Wayfair Ray Bans and pursing his lips in a kiss.

Louis sets it as his home screen.

"When is he starting?" Marti asks.

"What?" Louis asks without looking up from his beautiful boyfriend.

"Jonah? When is he starting?" Marti clarifies.

"Oh." He looks up at Marti. "Um, he starts next week. He's 16. I think you two will get along well."

"Is he cute?" Marti wiggles her eyebrows.

Louis coughs. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, am I going to have to fight you for him? I know you have a thing for younger guys." Marti says lightly.

Louis sizes her up for a minute and determines that she's joking around with him. "I guess we'll have to wait and see which way he swings." He gives her a grin.

Marti laughs. "Bring it on then."

Louis laughs feeling a little lighter than when he sat down to eat and enjoys the rest of his lunch with Marti.

~~~

The afternoon is hell, to put it lightly.

Louis loses count at seven for how many times he's messed up the presentation. It's the exact same thing he's done for 15- now _16_ \- years, and he can't manage to give the same presentation he gave a couple hours prior.

He can't quite tell if it's because the afternoon blues have hit him like a fucking semi-truck for the first time in seven months, or if he just feels incomplete without Zayn or Harry to give the presentation.

Either way, Marti gives him a pitiful look the whole time when his jokes fail terribly and he stumbles and repeats himself.

After that slice of hell has passed, Marti comes up to him while he's wrapping the microphone cords up.

"You know I could give the presentation? I know it forwards and backwards. It could give you a break." Marti suggests.

"'Any persons other than full time employees as hired on by Sydney's Taronga Zoo may not represent the zoo or educate guests on views, opinions, and information under any circumstances.'" Louis quotes verbatim from the employee handbook.

Sort of similar to how he should be able to recite his presentation regardless of the time of day; but what the hell does he know anymore?

Marti looks a little put off. "Harry was an intern, same as me. I've watched him present more times than you and he honestly seems better qualified for it. So you shouldn't disregard interns and maybe think about the fact that they might be able to do your job better than you. Unless of course it was just favoritism... In which case I think my daddy would have some things to say about that."

"Unless given specific directives of third party subsidiary sole proprietors working in tandem with Taronga." Louis makes up on the spot. "Which basically means it's up to Conner. But he's under strict rules and regulations as well, so he won't be arsed around and manipulated into giving interns responsibilities if their fathers dangle large checks in front of his face. It was his decision, and only his, to let Harry be responsible for presenting."

Which is completely untrue. Zayn and Louis basically thrust the responsibility on him. Of course, Conner gave his consent once Zayn and Louis reassured him of Harry's aptitude, but it wasn't anything any of them worried about.

But he really doesn't want Marti presenting. It's not that he doesn't trust her... he just doesn't trust her.

Marti huffs. "Fine."

Louis gives her a fake smile. "Sorry."

The rest of the day is Louis cleaning every centimeter of the Platitat and giving every one of the platypodes extra love and attention. He's there long after Marti leaves, the zoo is closed, and the sun is setting.

He's laying down with Dez burrowing around his body and Perry nudging him with his bill with his feet in the pond, the running water echoing through the platypus habitat.

Even though the sky is still filled with the sun's light, he can see the moon and the Southern Cross shining in the sky.

The Song of Storms breaks through the silence and Louis can't help but crack a smile. He pulls his phone out of his pocket to see that Harry is FaceTime calling him. He positions the camera above his head in such a way to prevent him from looking like he has a double chin, and then accepts the call.

Harry's face lights up his screen with dimples and dark eyelashes. "Hi babe! Are you still at work?"

"No, I brought Perry home with me so he could grunt and nudge at me all night." Louis says a little more stalely than it's meant.

"What's wrong love?" Harry's face falls.

"Is it normal to not want to go to sleep because you don't want to wake up tomorrow and deal with what happened the day before? Because I feel like this will start to be a recurring thing." Louis rolls on his side, still letting his legs dangle in the pond and props his phone on the ground so he can still look at it.

Harry seems to mull on that thought for a moment. "Yeah... I think it's normal. Just like, think about the positive things for the future though, you know? Like it's only 364 days till I move back home now! One day down."

"Oh my God." Louis closes his eyes.

"Okay, maybe countdown calendars aren't your thing... that's okay..." Harry trails off. "Just like, look forward to the good things then!"

"Like what? What is there to look forward to? You have a new job and new flat and new friends and that's fantastic, but I'm still here. I've only had things subtracted from my life. Not added." Louis knows he's being a martyr, but he can't help it. He needs to bemoan to someone, and right now Harry is his only option.

He should probably make a new friend so that he has someone else to bitch and moan to about all the little things since Zayn has abolished himself from the role. As much as he needs to vent now, and sometimes in the future too, he doesn't want to waste all of his precious time on the phone with Harry complaining and being negative.

"Look forward to the fact that our house will be cleaner and you get more weed to yourself!" Harry grins triumphantly and then his face falls quickly. "Shit! I didn't bring any. Oh my God. Fuck!" He slaps a hand to his forehead.

Louis laughs at that. He doesn't tell Harry that he would trade all the weed in the world to have him present, but he does laugh. "So you're officially sober of one day? Congratulations."

"Uuuuuuuuuuugh!" Harry moans.

"I can send you some if you want babe. It's not a big deal. Hell, I'm 99 percent sure Niall has distributors up there. I'll text him your number and tell him your situation." Louis says.

"That actually might be good. I mean, I probably won't smoke much the first week or two just because I want to adjust and not get behind on anything. Plus, next week is when my last semester of college starts, so I'll need to be ready for that. So it'll actually probably be a while..." Harry trails off.

"So technically only another two weeks of school for you, then you'll be done and just waiting for June for your diploma?" Louis asks.

"Yeah. Only, it'll probably take me longer than two weeks to complete my course work this time because I have a shit load of extra papers and a final project to turn in. I estimate it'll probably take me a month or two." Harry bites at his bottom lip.

"Are one of us going to visit the other after you complete your course work then? Where would that put us? March?" Louis looks up at the January sky and wishes it could move faster.

"Yes! March sounds like a good plan. I can come down there and request some days off work and we can just spend our time doing whatever we'd like. Though I have a few requested activities I'd like to do." Harry gives him a devious smile.

Louis smiles lightly back, but doesn't let it linger on his face. "About that- Haz, I'm really sorry about last night. I don't know what got into me. I completely botched our last night together and I didn't mean for it to end with you on the couch."

Harry's face goes somber in an instant and he tries to shrug it off. "It's not a big deal unless you make it one. I need to apologize too. I over reacted- as usual."

"I kind of deserved it. I just want you to know that I don't care what kind of fights we get in or how little or big they are, I'll love you just the same. You know that right?" Louis stares intently at the pixels on his screen that are reflecting Harry's face to him.

"Yeah, I know." Harry smiles softly. "Same with me for you. I'll love you no matter what."

Louis strokes along the side of his phone. "I wish I could touch you."

Harry repositions himself on what appears to be a chair. "Wish I could touch you too. I miss your little callused fingers."

Louis squints and holds up his hand to inspect it. "I don't have little fingers!"

Harry scrunches his nose at Louis. "Compared to me you do."

Louis laughs. "Well then I miss your abnormally large hands and your skin. Your skin is so fucking soft, you don't even know."

"I could fillet some and send it to you if you'd like?" Harry offers with a straight face.

"Oh my God! Harry- fuck! No." Louis is appalled, but can't stop himself from laughing. "No, that's fucking disgusting."

Harry holds a hand up defensively. "Hey, I'm not the one going on a tangent about skin here Hannibal."

"Jesus. Children these days." Louis shakes his head. Perry nudges his shoulder for the infinite time over the last few hours. "Here, say hi to your baby. He misses you. He's been moping worse than me all day." Louis angles the screen towards Perry.

"Perryyyyyy! My baby!" Harry screeches about three octaves too high. "I miss you so much! How are you?!"

Perry loses his shit.

He runs around in circles at hearing Harry's voice and grunts in distress.

Louis tries to show Perry the screen in hopes of calming him down, because a worked up imprint platypus is not something he'd like to deal with again. "Look here buddy, it's Harry. See?"

Perry's head swivels in the direction of Louis' phone and when he sees the video displayed of Harry smiling and cooing, Perry waddles up and nudges the phone with his bill.

"Aww baby! I'll be back soon I promise. Give me two months, but mommy is going to take care of you till then okay?" Harry fusses.

"Mommy?" Louis snorts.

"Yeah! You're mommy and Zay-" Harry cuts himself off. "How are things with Zayn?"

Louis angles the camera back at himself, but now he's got Perry glued to his arm. "Dunno. Haven't been home. Haven't heard from him all day, so I suspect it'll be about the same."

Harry nods nonchalantly. "Cool. Well, I'll be honest, I'm completely knackered. Can I give you the tour of my place tomorrow?"

"Of course love. Get some sleep. Big day tomorrow." Louis didn't realize that his body had been soaking up Harry like a plant does carbon dioxide until it feels like it's being sucked out of him.

"I can't wait to tell you all about it, I'm so excited." Harry smiles brightly. "I love you so much Lou. Thank you for supporting me in doing this."

Louis nods absently. "Yeah. Love you too. Sleep well."

"You too. Night." Harry blinks slowly enough that Louis can see the sweep of his eyelashes.

"Night." Louis smiles grimly back and ends the call.

Louis is alone in Sydney.

Harry is happy in Brisbane.

March. Harry will be here in March. He'll be alone for two months, but he can make it until March.

Louis tells himself that over and over again, happy that he's done with the denial stage and can get onto the next.

~~~


	43. Chapter 42

 

~~~

Louis thinks he might actually be able to just make it till March. Maybe he doesn't need to go through all the other formidable stages. Maybe he's finally advanced enough emotionally to be able to skip to accepting a situation for what it is.

That is, until he sits down and is rolling himself a blunt and depression taunts him.

Louis didn't realize how much he had built for himself with his life and relationships until this moment where it feels like he's lost a good deal of it.

He's struggling to pack the blunt properly and is really just craving a fucking cigarette or five. He doesn't have the patience for this. The patience for grieving or the patience for rolling a blunt.

He abandons it on the sofa for a minute and leans against the porch railing trying not to let the situation get to his emotions.

The sound of the front door opening makes him turn around.

It's Zayn.

"Sorry, I was just-" Louis motions to the pile of metaphorical depression on the sofa. "I was just going inside." He says dejectedly.

Zayn seats himself on the sofa and Louis is about step inside when Zayn pats the spot next to him.

Louis pauses for a moment, it having been maybe a month since he's had any type of interaction with Zayn. He ultimately sits next to him though.

Zayn prepares the blunt slowly and hands it, along with a lighter, to Louis.

Louis takes it wordlessly and breathes in relief. After his second inhale, he gives it to Zayn.

They pass back and forth a few more times until Zayn speaks up.

"The flowers look nice in the kitchen." He says.

"Nice color too. They match the mark you left on Harry's neck." Louis says spitefully.

Fuck. This is what Harry meant about petty jealousy.

"Shit, I'm sorry." Louis apologizes immediately. "I'm really fucking sorry. I don't mean to-"

"Lou, it's fine." Zayn says.

"How is it fine?" Louis mostly doesn't understand how Zayn could so easily dismiss Louis' pettiness. Especially now, when he seems so keen on holding grudges for other things.

"It's fine because it doesn't matter. We all get jealous and protective. I'm not going to hold that against you." Zayn says.

Again, Louis doesn't really understand and it didn't really answer his question. "You know, I thought I understood you better. When Harry said he understood you better than me, I didn't really believe it... or get it... until now. He would get why you're saying what you're saying. I don't."

"What don't you get?" Zayn asks.

"Well for starters, why can you forgive me so easily for being petty?" Louis asks.

Zayn smiles as he exhales smoke. "Because it's exactly that. Petty. We've all been there- well, at least Harry and I have. You'll realize soon enough that it doesn't do anything other than make you sound stupid, and then you'll eventually stop feeling it."

Okay, that actually makes a lot of sense. "Second question then. Why does Harry understand you better than I do when I've known you longer?"

"Because Harry has been in my position before. He wouldn't be able to empathize with me otherwise." Zayn hands the blunt to Louis. "Out of curiosity, did he ever mention being in love with anyone before you?"

"Yeah, he did actually." Louis takes a long drag. "Said his name was James. Married with kids, but he didn't want to be a homewrecker."

That seems to satisfy another unasked question in Zayn's brain. "There you go then. Harry's been through what I've been through. You haven't, so how could you fully understand?"

"What don't I understand?" Louis asks.

"What it's like to want something you can't have." Zayn says.

Louis wants to point out, _again_ , that Zayn could have- and _did_ have- both of them, but remembers how that conversation ended last time.

"Why can't you have Harry though?" But when Louis asks it out loud, he realizes for the first time, he already knows the answer. And this time realizes Zayn knows the answer too; and that Zayn probably knew the answer from the beginning.

"Because he wants you Louis. You can love a million people, but at the end of the day if you only want one of them, the others are as excusable as complete strangers; and that's just the raw truth of it. I get that Harry's a wonderful person and he loves me and everything else on this planet, but he understands it too. It doesn't matter how much he loves or doesn't love me. If he wants you, I'm essentially irrelevant to his life." Zayn explains.

"Fuck." Louis blows out another puff of smoke. "Fuck."

He hands the blunt back to Zayn. "Fuck indeed."

"I'm sorry Z. Sorry for... putting you through all of that then. For being ignorant." Louis says trying to encompass the enormity of his apology. But he knows that however grandiose he tries to make it, everything will come up short of what he wants to express.

"You don't have to apologize. Like I said, I won't hold your ignorance against you. I never have." Zayn says.

"Why all the ignoring then?" Louis asks.

"What else was I supposed to do? Continue getting closer to you two? Let the cuts get deeper? Twist the knife around once it's punctured the skin?" Zayn leers. "I may as well have filled every chamber in a revolver before playing Russian Roulette."

"I guess... that much makes sense now. So, now things are going to be okay again between us? At least until Harry gets back?" Louis asks.

"That's the idea." Zayn says.

"So every day I lose of Harry, I gain with you?" Louis asks.

"That's what it sounds like, doesn't it?" Zayn passes the blunt to Louis.

"Fuck." Louis takes a long hit. "Fuck."

Zayn settles into the sofa. "Fuck indeed."

~~~

Jonah is a nice enough kid. Certainly not the most confident of 16-year-olds, but then, who really is confident at 16 years of age?

It's not that Jonah isn't interested in girls, but he's very obviously not interested in any carrots that Marti tries dangling in front of him. Louis watches her change her tactics up all day long to try and get Jonah to bite at the bait she's tossing.

It's not surprising to Louis though.

It only takes one look into Jonah's eyes, and Louis can see the demons that haunt him. The heavy burdens of his home life or lack thereof that he has to bear. Louis wants to hug him and tell him things will turn out okay, but if someone were to do that to him at 16, he would probably have shut down and not ever gone back to the place where said perpetrator of personal space was again.

So he doesn't.

He watches closely and carefully though, and does his best to mentor Jonah in the way that Conner mentored him at much the same age.

A couple weeks pass and the Platitat is being recreated into a new environment. One where Louis is the leader of two teenagers who look up at him at every turn as he guides them in platypus caretaking and education.

That, of course, doesn't stop Marti from being a sassy priss sometimes. It's hard for Louis because underneath he sees a girl who could be really down-to-earth, but he thinks a lot of that has been blotted out and caked in wealth and pride.

He wonders how Harry ended up so different from Marti when their family situations seem to be much the same. He wonders if maybe Harry was exactly like Marti at 14 which is why he related to her so well.

Relates to her so well.

It's not like Harry died. He's still here. Louis _will_ still think about him in present tense.

Louis has probably spent more of his time thinking about Harry than actually talking or engaging with Harry. He gets a heaping influx of pictures of fish and coral, or Harry scuba diving into a coral rehabilitation aquarium they have to clean it. Louis mostly sends pictures of Perry back.

He's declined a few lunch time calls until Harry stopped trying to call during lunch time altogether. It's hard for Louis to even think about interrupting the flow of his day with something so other-worldly like Harry. It's like Harry doesn't quite belong in Louis' world that involves the zoo anymore and he's a complete separate entity from any of it.

The calls that they do have normally happen at the end of the day when Louis is still lingering at work to avoid going home somewhere that won't have Harry. They FaceTime now and again, but normally stick to traditional phone calls because it's a little more data that Louis has the budget for.

Which, Louis' found a nice buffer in his budget since it's been a month that he's been cigarette (and cigar) free. The habits are still there, but the cravings aren't too bad. He deals with it mostly by the over chewing of gum. He would argue that his budget has replaced cigarettes for gum, but gum isn't even half the price of a pack of cigarettes anyway, so the point is moot. Zayn's been really supportive too, always turning him down when Louis asks for one in a moment of habit or weakness after they finish smoking their evening joint.

Things have generally gone back to normal with Zayn, but it's still weird in Louis' mind. It's normal on the outside. The conversations and actions are identical to what they used to be (excluding, of course, any kind of intimate physicalities), but it still feels different in Louis' brain.

He's tried bringing it up with Zayn, but is diplomatically and nonchalantly shut down. So apparently, it's how their 'new relationship' will work. They can talk about almost everything, but not quite everything. Louis keeps a lot of his and Harry's relationship to himself, and Zayn keeps a lot more feelings to himself.

The one thing Zayn has opened up about is regarding Liam. In which, Louis discovered that Zayn is just being a tentative pussy. He told Zayn as much too and got a gentle shove and 'fuck off' in return. Louis has only gone to Blue Grounds with Zayn once since Harry's left, but it was that night that he saw how much Zayn was the only one keeping himself from being with Liam. It surprised Louis to find that Liam doesn't have any gripes with the things Zayn says and does, but rather, fiercely supports him in everything.

Louis wonders if that's what he and Harry look like to other people.

Louis has taken to occupying the bed with Zayn most nights because quite frankly, he's slept with a body next to him for the last four months and it's too big and too cold without someone else there to cuddle with.

Harry's not surprised at all when Louis tells him as much, and actually tells Louis he's happy that he and Zayn are on the mend.

Harry only ever has exciting and positive things to share with Louis during their phone calls and Louis actually really appreciates him for it. He'll admit that he gets resentful from time to time- Harry living the dream life of rehabilitating marine animals and snorkeling for hours on end each day- but it also kind of pulls Louis through, knowing that he's allowing Harry to live his own life and be happy.

Harry has, unsurprisingly, made great friends with each one of his coworkers and even managed to make a friend or two outside of work by going to his Sunday church services again. Louis has met one of his girl friends, Sadie, via FaceTime and had a few throbbing moments of petty jealousy before realizing the nature of what he was feeling. It took a quick attitude readjustment, and Louis was able to be happy for Harry's friend instead of resent her for being with Harry physically when he could not.

The most difficult thing, Louis is ashamed to admit, has been his skydive height drop in his sex life. He takes back a lot of the former judgment he placed upon Zayn for seeming desperate at times, because Louis has gotten pretty fucking desperate. Desperate to the point where Louis has called Harry at midnight from Zayn's bathroom with a horrible case of blue balls or unfinished sex dreams.

Harry eases him through the initial embarrassment of calling him at ungodly hours for phone sex, but Louis is too desperate at those points to be arsed for his pride.

Unfortunately Zayn normally wakes up during his midnight cavorts, but always takes silent pity when Louis slides back into bed with him and they spoon till they fall asleep.

Louis feels the depression lifting as he falls into a routine with his long distance relationship and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he's got it figured out.

But then it's February first, and Louis FaceTimes Harry for his birthday.

"Happy birthday my love! How was your day? Did your boss bring you a cake? Because I totally would have." Louis says as Perry and Dez snuggle up on his chest.

He doesn't actually need Harry to say anything to know that at some point during this conversation, Harry's going to be breaking some unpleasant news to him. It's written all over his face. Louis ignores it for now.

"Yeah, it was good. They let me go with the research team today, so I mostly spent it underwater, but that meant double the research papers. But overall, I can't complain." Harry smiles with teeth that look a thousand shades lighter than his now darkly tanned skin.

"No cakes though? I think I need to have a word with your boss." Louis reprimands.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure working at Taronga was probably the pinnacle point in my career for the best bosses. No one can top you Lou." Harry smirks and then adds as an afterthought. "Except for me."

"You do talk such smack Harold." Louis tuts.

"Nothing wrong with it if it's true." Harry defends.

"How've you been holding up in that department by the way?" Louis asks because he feels like he's the one always the one getting caught with his not-so-metaphorical pants down.

"Well between our midnight escapades and my morning shower wanks, I'd say I'm pathetically in need of a good old fashioned lover boy." Harry says, quoting Queen.

"Give me another 28 days or so and I'd be happy to make all your wildest dreams come true." Louis says like the dork he is.

"Yeah." Harry frowns, letting some guilt show through.

And it's that moment when Louis knows that it's the bad news that's coming next. He has half a mind to hang up the phone, chuck it in the platypus pond and hope the platypodes shove it into the drain grates because he doesn't want anything but good news for himself and Harry.

"I need to talk to you about something Lou..." Harry starts.

"Sure." His voice comes out deceptively calm.

"About me coming down in March... I honestly can't right now. It would be really irresponsible and I'm sorry. I just- I've been working overtime and between phone calls with you, four or five hours of sleep every night, and trying to keep up with my school work, I- I'm actually a lot behind schedule for me, and even a little behind the suggested school schedule." Harry says reluctantly.

Anger. Anger is the next emotion. It's that Harry is behind on school work. That Louis is partially the cause for that. The fact that Harry can't come down and see Louis and Louis can't go up to see him. It's that Harry is living fucking 10 hours away from him and he is angry.

"Louis?" Harry asks.

Louis truly doesn't want to- _can't_ \- say anything. He doesn't respond. He doesn't say anything because maybe he just misheard Harry.

Harry tries continuing on to make it better. "I think... I think I should be able to maybe come down after that though- like- fuck." Harry takes his bottom lip between his teeth. "It'll probably take me a couple months to get caught up, and then after that there will be more final projects, so maybe after graduation-"

"You graduate in June." Louis keeps his volume soft, but his tone makes up for the lack of yelling.

Harry pulls at the ends of his hair. "Yeah, Louis it's- I just don't think- I need-"

"I need you!" Louis lets some of his anger out. "You might need to focus on your studies, but I need _you_ , Harry, and you're not here. And now you're telling me it's going to be four or five months until I get to see you?"

"You- you have Zayn!" Harry says exasperatedly. "It's not like it's forever! It's only like, 30 weeks or something and-"

"30 weeks Harry? Are you fucking serious? I'm 30 years old. 30 is not a small number. It's not something insignificant or quick. It's a long time." Louis paces around the Platitat.

Harry huffs. "What are you worried about Lou? It's not like either of us are going anywhere! It doesn't change anything-"

"Maybe it doesn't change anything but it's- fuck- it's 30 more weeks I have to go without seeing you! We're going to end up being apart for more of our relationship than together by the time you get back..." Louis is about ready to brain himself against the dented stainless steel table and between the refrigerator door.

"Lou, what is this about?" Harry says a lot calmer than Louis feels.

"What do you mean what is this about? It's about me missing my fucking boyfriend who isn't here. It's about the fact that I- God, just- never mind." Louis cuts himself off.

"No, what were you going to say?" Harry pushes.

Chucking his phone at the bottom of the pond is looking like a better and better option. He could feign that he lost connection or something.

"Louis, please be honest with me." Harry requests.

Louis looks around at the emptiness around him instead of the screen that is full of a mirage of Harry. "There's too many things to be honest about. Just... too much."

Much too much that Louis doesn't let his brain process all the different things.

"I'm already behind on schoolwork, so I've got all night to listen love. I want to listen, please." Harry says, leaning in to the camera more.

"I don't know Harry! What if I die? I'm not young anymore. And I- I've waited so long to find someone like you. I don't think I'll ever find someone like you again. It feels like I only got to have you for a second, and now you're gone, and what if you never come back? What if we grow apart? I needed more time with you Haz... I _need_ more time with you. I need you. I feel like I'm running backwards on a treadmill and I just... I can't do things like this." Louis says to the concrete walls.

"Babe, I..." Harry rubs at his forehead. "Please don't worry about any of that. We're fine. We'll have the rest of our lives, okay? It's just a short time. This year will pass quickly, it's okay. We can figure this out."

"Haz I- you need some space to do your school thing. In fact, I know I'm keeping you from it right now, so I'll just let you go." Louis doesn't think of himself as one to project his feelings and thoughts onto others, but even he realizes how completely projecting that was of him.

Harry looks like he's fighting the urge to debate the matter. In the end though, Louis sees that regardless of how much Louis just projected his own feelings onto Harry, Harry knows that there's truth behind it.

"You're right. Let me just focus on school for a bit yeah? Once I have a better idea what my life is going to look like in a few months we can figure something out." Harry says emotionless.

The anger drains and Louis wishes he could reverse and take back this entire conversation. "Wait, fuck, we-" They didn't just break up did they? "Did we just-"

Louis can't say the words. He can't say them for the life of him.

"We're fine Lou. We're still Harry and Louis." Harry reassures. "Just reprioritizing for a couple months for the greater good."

For- what the fuck?

"Right." Louis says, not feeling reassured whatsoever.

"I should go. I- I have a term paper that was due last week." Harry looks off camera.

"Happy birthday Haz." Louis says like it's his eulogy.

Harry gives him a ghost of a fake smile. "Have a good night."

Louis can't even say anything anymore. He can't give Harry any more formalities.

He can't act like he's fine.

So he hangs up and stares at the concrete bunker surrounding him.

~~~


	44. Chapter 43

A/N: Happy Friday!!! How is everyone? :) 

                   
~~~

The anger bleeds into what Louis would call vindictive bargaining.  It's frustrating and Louis feels like he's constantly being shot up with testosterone.  He feels like everyone is taunting him all the time, and it's all he can do to grit his teeth and be mature.

If Harry wasn't such a god damned over-achiever, none of this would even be an issue.  If Louis wasn't still at the Platitat, he would have avoided this situation altogether.  If Harry would have cared more about Louis than his career, he would still be in Sydney.  If Louis didn't hate desk jobs so much, maybe he would have been able to relocate.

It never stops and the 'what ifs' constantly badger Louis, teasing him and daring him to get worked up and do something about it. 

"Louis, you shredded the shrimp too finely.  The platypuses won't be able to get the chunks."  Marti says.

"I think I know how to feed a damn platypus- I've been doing it for 16 years."  Louis rips the shrimp into even smaller pieces just because he can.

"Marti, maybe you should go fill more holes."  Jonah suggests.

"Why am I always the one doing grunt work?"  Marti complains.

"Because that's your _job_!  You're an intern.  It's your job to do all the shit work that no one else wants to do.  It's your job to learn how to keep your head down and do as you're told and not expect everything to be handed to you on a silver platter.  The sooner you learn that, the sooner you'll grow the hell up."  Louis throws the handful of shrimp into the food bowl.

Marti lowers her head, humbled, and walks outside without another word. 

"Do you need someone to talk to?"  Jonah asks carefully.

Louis picks up another chunk of mashed shrimp to start shredding it.  "You're much too young to understand.  Thank you though."

"Try me."  Jonah says lightly.

Louis averts his attention to Jonah to size him up.  It's a bold move for Jonah, seeing as he normally keeps to himself.  This time though, he looks confident.  He looks like he can make a difference.  It's the kind of thing Louis is a sucker for really- the youths of society feeling empowered.

Louis sighs.  "Just relationship problems.  Well, more 'self' problems if I'm being honest."

"Marti's told me a little bit about Harry.  Are you guys going through a rough patch?"  Jonah asks.

Jesus, why not shout details of Louis' personal life from the rooftops?  Apparently everyone knows things about them now.

"Yeah, just- he moved to Brisbane for a year.  He's... younger.  And I'm... I can't ever hold onto good things."  Louis figures he may as well be out with it.  He'll give Jonah a chance to say something nice and comforting in return and then they'll have a nice little relationship bonding experience and then Louis will go home and smoke himself to death.

"I know what that's like.  My girlfriend told me she would break up with me if I didn't convert to her religion, but my family said they'd disown me if I did that."  Jonah says.

Louis is intrigued and sad.  He wasn't expecting that kind of reaction.  "Which are you going to choose?"

Jonah laughs a little.  "I already chose.  I got baptized and my family disowned me.  Then my girlfriend broke up with me last month.  All I have now are the platypodes and one friend.  He's still supportive of me no matter what shit I get myself into."

"Oh... damn."  Louis lets the shrimp fall through his fingers.  "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"It's okay though.  Everything will turn out okay.  The people that are meant to be in our lives will be there.  Like destiny, you know?  So when it feels like we can't hold onto people, it just means they're not meant to be there."  Jonah says.

"God you- you just...."  Louis is reminded of one of the conversations he had with Harry when he first started.  Harry talked of God and changing his own destiny.  "So do you believe in destiny or do you believe in God?"

Jonah shoves his hands in his pockets.  "I believe in both.  I think God is in charge of everything, but that at the end of the day we create the lives we want for ourselves."

"So how does that belief work with your current situation?  Doesn't one negate the other?  Especially if they're both working to make your life miserable?"  Louis feels like this is much too philosophical of a conversation to have while he's elbow deep in platypus food.

"I just trust that it's for the greater good.  Whether I end up with my girlfriend again or my family accepts me ever again is of little significance to me because I know that things will work for the best in the end."  Jonah says.

That's really... optimistic.  Louis hasn't had this much optimism in his space since... Harry.

Louis sighs.  "Thank you.  For all of that.  Sorry I've been a bit of a shit manager the last month.  February was not the highlight of my career.  I'm still just, I'm a bit angry, you know?"

"It's fine.  I think you're a great manager.  And March can be completely different."  Jonah smiles.  "Or the same.  No need to rush through your feelings."

"Yeah.  Thank you."  Louis says.  "And Jonah?"

"Hmm?"  Jonah asks.

"If you ever need to vent to someone or are having a hard day- I'm always here to listen."  Louis says.

Jonah smiles.  "Thanks."

~~~

March passes by and Louis is still angry when April comes. 

It's a maddening resentment that chews and gnaws at every corner of his brain.  He just, can't stop being mad at Harry.  It's not just that anymore either.  He's livid with himself and frustrated with Zayn.  For everything.  He's not discriminatory.  All of the things make him mad and he just wants to stop being mad.

The harder he holds onto the anger, the tighter it winds him up and takes over his life.  If he's being honest, he feels as angry as he did when he was 15 and 16 and pissed at his parents for dying.  It's a little bit invigorating, and the little bit of nostalgia it gives him makes him act a little more teenage than he has in a very long time.

Which would explain why it's 4pm on a week night and he's at Blue Grounds.

"Just, fuck everything, you know?"  Louis turns his third empty shot glass upside down to complete the pyramid that's sandwiched between his two strawberry daiquiris.

"Yeah mate.  Not to like, parent or anything; but are you sure drinking while you're angry is a great idea?"  Liam suggests with all the sensitivity of talking to a spooked platypus.

"Psh.  Obviously not.  Nothing else has worked though."  Louis says petulantly.

"Lou, I... never mind."  Liam sighs.

Louis points at Liam.  "Pour me another shot.  Then tell me what you were going to tell me."

Liam does as instructed and slides the glass to Louis.

Liam opens his mouth to speak, but Louis holds a finger up to him while shooting the drink back.  It burns his esophagus barely at all.  He's so damn glad to have his overall pain back to normal.  Hitting his shin still hurts more than normal, but he can actually be a human again which is convenient.

He stares at the four empty shot glasses.

"I need two more if I'm to complete another period."  Louis says.

"What?"  Liam squints at him.

"Because now I have three glasses for the base.  I need two more for my pyramid."  Louis makes a show of the spacial reasoning with his hands.

"You said- never mind."  Liam shakes his head.

"Anyway.  Your thing?  What were you going to say?"  Louis folds his arms and rests his chin on them.

"Has Zayn ever told you about my ex-girlfriend?"  Liam asks.

Louis racks his empty and fuzzy brain.  "No."

"We lived together for five years and one day I woke up and all her bags were packed and she had left.  She broke up with me via text.  We had been on the rocks for a while, but I never expected that kind of thing from her, you know?"  Liam says.

Louis stares at Liam.  "That really sucks.  I didn't know that."

"I was really angry for a long time.  Then finally one day, I finally woke up and asked myself why I was still choosing to be angry over it.  Sure there might have been a lot I could have done to change it, but what happened, happened and it was done.  I'm a better person now because of it, but I wish I wouldn't have spent so much time being angry."  Liam leans forward on the bar.

"You can't just..."  Louis waves his hand in the air looking for the word, "... _decide_ to not be angry."

Liam nods his head from side to side.  "I mean... you're right and you're wrong.  I only say that because I really do get it.  Nothing can expedite anger unfortunately.  But when the opportunity finally presents itself to let that phase go, I just... I wouldn't want to see you pass that up."

"I think I'm too tipsy for this conversation."  Louis says.

"I'm just worried about you.  I care about you a lot, you know?"  Liam says.

"Then show me you care by pouring me another shot please."  Louis knocks over his incomplete pyramid towards Liam.

"Can I call Zayn as well then?  So he can drive you home after?"  Liam picks up the rolling shot glasses everywhere and prepares a new one for Louis.

Louis lays his head flat on the bar and nods against the musty wood. 

Another shot glass appears before his eyes and he sits up so he can properly drink it.  Once it's down, he lays his head back on the bar.

"I'm still angry at Zayn too, you know?"  Louis says to the wall, not even sure Liam is still standing there.

Apparently he is, because Liam's voice is close by.  "Yeah, I can see why you would be.  Everything will mend with time though.  Especially with you two."

"I think we got too close.  Too close and everything got fucked up because of it."  Louis says tasting a little bit of the alcohol on his lips.  "Can I have a coffee?"

"Of course."  Liam leaves and returns a minute later with a steaming cup.

Louis lets the coffee steam fill his nostrils and open his pores to try and ingest the caffeine by osmosis.

Louis waits forever for the coffee to cool down and Liam moves to serve other customers who have just entered.  Louis only gets a couple sips in before abandoning his coffee and taking a trip to the bathroom.

He leans his head against the standup urinal and lets the porcelain cool his skin.  He feels like he's sweating alcohol.  He should stop binge drinking every several months.  It makes his body feel like a giant pile of shit.

He washes his hands and face to try and clean off the feeling of inebriation.  He considers dunking his shirt in the sink and using it to wipe down his torso too, but then realizes all of the things wrong with doing that.

So he goes back to finish his coffee instead.  But some dickhead hipster with a dark quiff has taken his seat.

"Oi."  Louis walks not quite in a straight line back to his seat and drapes himself on Zayn.  "You stole my seat douche nugget."

Zayn holds Louis' phone up at in front of Louis' face.  "Haz called and says hello.  Says he wants you to call him back."

"Tell me something I don't know."  Louis has flat out avoided every one of Harry's calls.  It's been three months since they talked on Harry's birthday.  They still text of course.  Most of which Louis has depreciated to shallow and quick conversations.

"Let's get you home then, yeah?"  Zayn slaps a note on the bar for Liam and leans over to give him a parting kiss.

Louis leans up against Zayn's side.  "Awwwwww so fucking sweet.  You're giving me cavities."

"Lou, chill till we get home babe."  Zayn says wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Baby Zaaaayn."  Louis sings to no apparent tune.  "It's been forever since you've called me babe, baby."

"And it's been forever since you've been this drunk."  Zayn says.

"I'm not drunk.  And it hasn't been forever because it's not... been forever..."  Louis stutters.  "I lost my train of thought."

Zayn opens the door to the passenger seat for Louis.  "Are you going to be nauseous?"

Louis indignantly heaves himself into the seat.  "No.  I said I'm not drunk."

Zayn sighs.  "I didn't ask if you were drunk, I asked if you were going to be nauseous."

"Get in the damn car!"  Louis snaps.

Zayn shuts the passenger door with a roll of his eyes and then drives Louis home to their flat.  Louis hums most of the way, asking several times if he has any Daft Punk cd's in his car.  Zayn has the same answer every time since Zayn actually has a car that isn't technologically antiquated and has no use for cd's anymore.

Louis plops down on their living room sofa.  "Zaynie?"

"Yeah?"  Zayn drops his keys in the key dish on the granite countertop.

"I didn't get to finish my coffee."  Louis says regretfully.

"Do you want me to make you some?"  Zayn offers rhetorically while already pulling out the bag of coffee beans.

"Yes please."  Louis rolls to his side to stare at the carpet that still has hundreds of pine needles stuck in it.  Despite their dozens of tries vacuuming, the needles stay strong.  Luckily most of the stiff ones have mushed down enough that they don't poke themselves every time they walk around barefoot.

They decidedly kept the triforce tree topper displayed out on their mantle, reminding Louis of the last time they all smiled together.  Probably the last time there would be any semblance of agreeance and cooperation between the three.  Louis hopes not, but he doesn't want to disappoint himself with unrealistic expectations.

Zayn sits on the floor so he's face-to-face with Louis who is still laying on the couch.  "Here babes."

Louis wonders if it would be weird to drink it through a straw so that he wouldn't have to sit up, but finally slithers off the couch and onto the carpet next to Zayn.  "Thank you."

"No problem.  You're going to be up all night."  Zayn reaches a hand out to caress Louis' face, but lets it drop back into his lap before touching him.

"You can still touch me, you know?  You won't get leprosy."  Louis chugs the hot drink probably too quickly.  But he's stomaching it, so he figures he's fine.

Zayn doesn't say anything, but just stares at him.

"So what are you and Liam?"  Louis tips his head backward onto the couch to stare at the ceiling.

"We're taking things slow."  Zayn says.

"In the bedroom or the relationship labels?"  Louis asks.

"Labels."  Zayn says shortly.  "Hey, are you too faded to have a joint?"

Louis shakes his head.  "I'll be fine.  The alcohol is sucking anyway."

"Alright."  Zayn gets up and heads to his room.

Louis goes out to the smoking sofa, head a little dizzy from the blend of substances running through his veins.  He's definitely going to regret this night tomorrow.

Zayn sits beside him a minute later.  "So Harry doesn't care about you still smoking weed?"

"I stopped smoking because I wanted to.  Harry never asked me to."  Louis says. 

"Why?"  Zayn asks while packing the joint.

"My reason for smoking is no longer valid."  Louis states.

Zayn laughs humorlessly at that.  Louis wonders what he would have to say about the matter, but he's still too fuzzy in the brain to be extra perceptive or make any kinds of assumptions.

"Does Harry still smoke?"  Zayn asks before licking the joint shut.

Louis snaps his head over to Zayn.  "Why don't you ask him yourself?"

Zayn's easy and light demeanor goes stiff and he unpockets the lighter to dry the drug and light it. 

It irks Louis that Zayn can just choose to ask and ignore whatever he pleases.  Sometimes it's understandable, and most times Louis doesn't even care; but now it irks him.

"Can you not ignore me?"  Louis asks.

"I'm not."  Zayn finishes his second drag and hands it to Louis.

Louis blows the smoke out on Zayn's face.  "I asked you a question and you didn't answer."

"You're looking for a fight Louis, and I'm not going to give you one."  Zayn says easily.

Louis chokes on his second drag and blindly holds the joint out for Zayn.  His chokes turn into laughing at Zayn's double standards. 

Zayn looks at him pitifully.

Louis stops laughing and kicks his feet up and over Zayn's lap, resting his head on the opposite arm of the sofa.

"Maybe you should just try for bed."  Zayn suggests.

"Will you sleep with me tonight?"  Louis asks.

"Last time that happened, Gohma got out of her terrarium and you almost woke up to a dead pet and punch to the balls."  Zayn grimaces at the memory.

Louis giggles.  "She just wanted to sleep on your chest too.  I was comfy there and she knows I always pick the comfy spots."

Zayn hands Louis the joint without a response.

"So will you?"  Louis pushes.

"No."  Zayn says simply.

"Why not?"  Louis asks.

"Because."  Zayn says.

"Zayn."  Louis sits up and glares at Zayn.

"Louis."  Zayn lifts an eyebrow.

"Why not?"  Louis repeats.

"Because you're out of it."  Zayn says.

"I'm fine.  Seriously.  I had some coffee and now I'm getting a good high and stabilizing.  Ask me anything, I'm fine."  Louis pulls his legs back to cross them.

Zayn doesn't say anything.

"You're ignoring me again."  Louis says through the last drag of his smoke.

"What do you want me to say to you?"  Zayn asks.

"I want you to treat me how you used to."  Louis says.

"I do."  Zayn argues.

"No."  Louis purses his lips.  "You don't.  Hardly 10 minutes ago you wouldn't even let yourself touch me when I was drinking my coffee."

"You have a boyfriend for touching."  Zayn says without any kind of disdain, so Louis can't even get mad at him for saying it.

"But we've always touched each other."  Louis says.  "It's not like that should change.  Like, you haven't even hugged me or kissed me since the three way."

Zayn's face noticeably twitches.  "Again.  You have a boyfriend for hugging, touching, and kissing."

"I think you meant to say 'squeezin''."  Louis says.

"I wasn't trying to quote Journey."  Zayn deadpans.  "And it's 'lovin'', not 'hugging'.  So you're false on multiple accounts."

Louis pouts.  "But I want you for lovin', touchin', and squeezin' too."

"Louis, we aren't in a relationship."  Zayn says sternly.  "I'm not Harry, so stop trying to be romantic or cute with me.  If you want me to treat you how I used to, you need to realize that it was neither romantic nor cute."

"It was always romantic."  Louis says, leaning a little closer.

"Romance and intimacy are different."  Zayn says.

Louis shrugs.  "I always thought it was romantic."

"Then I'm sorry for skewing your perception of romanticism.  Maybe that's why you've ended up in a weird relationship."  Zayn finishes off the joint and drops it in the ashtray.

"Stop calling my relationship with Harry weird!  It's not weird!"  Louis stands from the sofa.

"Sorry."  Zayn apologizes like it cost him nothing.

"Zayn!"  Louis emphasizes.

Zayn just flicks his eyes upward at him with disinterest.

"Why don't you care about me anymore?"  Louis implores.

Zayn stands up and takes Louis by the hand.  "Lou, I still care about you.  I'll always care about you-"

"Bullshit!"  Louis is just as excited to get a reaction out of Zayn as he is that they might have a deeper conversation finally.  He hopes it will help release any anger he has left stored up towards Zayn.

"Don't be ridiculous Louis."  Zayn goes back to being calm.

Louis goes back to his previous tactic.  "You don't care about me anymore Zayn.  If you had any regard for what I want or need, you would do it."

Zayn's nostrils flare ever so slightly.  "Caring about you and being a door mat are different things.  I still have to take care of myself."

"So you don't care for me anymore because it's all about you?"  Saying it out loud, Louis didn't realize until now how this is also a part of the formula for his anger he had been missing.  The equation is starting to become clearer that an equal portion of it is anger at Zayn too.

"Yes, so get over it Louis.  I still care about you, but I'm done giving up my life to take care of you!"  Zayn raises his voice.

"That's fine, but some warning that you were going to emotionally toss me to the side like moldy bread would have been nice!"  Louis clenches his fists.

"Wow!  God!"  Zayn laughs heartlessly.  "Tell me how that must feel Louis."  All the sarcasm drips from his voice now.  "Tell me how it must feel to be disregarded so easily and quickly.  Would it help or hurt if it was because of someone else?"

Louis' jaw clenches.  "I never disregarded you because of Harry."

"And I never disregarded _you_ because of Harry."  Zayn throws right back at him.

"It's so different!  It's not even the same!"  Louis yells.

Zayn's face morphs into a sarcastic amusement.

"It's not the same."  Louis says calmer this time.

"When you can tell me two reasons why it's not the same, I'll believe you."  Zayn says diplomatically.

Louis wants to immediately spout off a hundred reasons why it's different, but he can't even come up with one.

"That's what I thought."  Zayn gives him a false smile and goes back into the house.

Louis berates himself and treads scuff marks into the wood from pacing.  He tries to think about things and connect dots, but his head is everywhere all at once and it's useless.  There's only one thought that keeps swimming around anyway.

He decides to finally do something about it and confront Zayn, because maybe Louis doesn't have the answers to questions, but Zayn certainly should have some.

Back inside, he goes into Zayn's room, who is in the shower, so he seats himself on Zayn's bed.  Zayn is notorious for his long showers, so Louis tries keeping himself entertained so that his brain doesn't go off the deep end.

He flicks a lighter on an off several times and then discovers it's probably not very considerate of him to waste precious lighter fluid on his boredom.  Even though he pulled it from off the top of the nightstand, he decides to throw it in the nightstand drawer so that it looks less cluttered.

The drawer opens with some resistance and a few things knock together once Louis yanks it opens.  He focuses his attention on what kept it from opening, hoping he didn't ruin anything in the process.  As it turns out, it's Zayn's sketch book, and the front cover has been splayed opened half-in and half-out of the drawer. 

Louis pulls the sketchbook out so that he can be a good friend and close it properly before any pages get wrinkled or the spine cracks too much or something.  And once he has it in his hands, he realizes the 'title page' has been drawn by Zayn with the simple word in fancy calligraphy that says: _Zayn_

It looks old though, and Louis wonders if this is the same sketchbook he's had since they were teenagers.  So naturally, he flicks his eyes up to make sure the bathroom door is shut and the water is still running, and indulges in his selfish curiosity. 

He starts from the beginning, and it's a bunch of vertical squiggly lines with some half-moon lines at the bottom of the page.  Louis lifts an eyebrow wondering why the hell Zayn felt it relevant to draw lines.  He recalls Harry saying that he saw a bunch of lines in Zayn's sketchbook, not knowing what they meant.

He's about to flip the page when he notices a date at the bottom of the page.

_January 2, 2000_

Louis blinks a few times.  He squints a little closer, trying to do mental math at when that was because-

It's the day they lit the field on fire.  Then it makes sense.  The shapes at the bottom are the reeds from the field and the squiggles are the flames.

He checks the bathroom door again and notes that the shower is still running. 

There's a higher chance of Louis dying of a shark attack than putting the sketchbook down now, so he lets the guilt go the fuck away and turns the next page.

It stuns him because on the next page are a very real depiction of Louis' own eyes at age 14 staring back at him in pencil.  _January 5, 2000._

The next couple pages are filled with the most beautiful and detailed drawings of platypodes that Louis has ever seen, all with the date they started volunteering at Taronga.  Louis can pick out immediately which one is Jerry and he pauses for a second longer to smile at it.

He keeps turning pages and there's more and more detailed realism drawings of things that Louis remembers from their childhood.  Then he stops at a page with a few simple lines again.  He doesn't have to even look at the date to know that it's a depiction of Louis' parents' funeral when they were 15.  The page after that is another drawing of Louis' eyes.

Louis really doesn't know how to feel about this so far because he feels like he's been secretly documented like on the Truman Show or something his whole life and not known it. 

The pages turn and turn and there are many memories of Zayn's that Louis recognizes, mostly because he was there for all of them- particularly the one he drew of Louis in the hospital after being spurred by Jerry.  There's only a few he's not sure the significance of, but are very detailed and beautiful drawings nonetheless. 

As the date increases another year to when they were both 16, he comes across another incomplete sketch drawing.  Louis scratches the back of his neck, not sure what this one is supposed to be.  It's dated for 2002 and at the bottom in calligraphy it says _Love Of My Life_ ; which Louis isn't sure if he meant it literally or if he was simply quoting the Queen song.  He sticks a finger in that page.  The following page is another realistic drawing of Louis' eyes. 

Louis bites at his lip and continues flipping. 

Right after that is a long saga of different people's eyes- his own drawn after every two or three pairs.  Most are boys or girls eyes that he doesn't recognize until 2004 and he's even surprised when he recognizes them as Zayn's first and only serious boyfriend.  After that there's memories that Louis hasn't ever seen, but has heard about because they were all memories Zayn shared with his boyfriend.

Louis understands why Zayn has never shared this book with him, because it's all of Zayn's strongest and most cherished memories.  The shower is still running, so Louis keeps snooping, wondering why he's never thought to do this before, but thinking it's definitely probably not something he should still be doing at 30 years old.  Maybe he's still really a kid at heart.

Louis starts recognizing the memories of Zayn and his boyfriend as ones towards the end of their relationship, and then it's moody and sad landscapes for a couple pages.  Then there's another incomplete sketch drawing similar to the other one he couldn't decipher, and in calligraphy at the bottom: _Love Of My Life_. 

Louis' eyes are on the following page dated for June 2006.  He's aware that June was the month Zayn and his boyfriend had broken up and it was the month before Louis got together with Mark. 

He first assumes the incomplete sketch is probably something to do with Zayn's first boyfriend being the love of his life, and then Louis' eyes because apparently Zayn has a thing for drawing eyes.

But then he flips back to the first undecipherable sketch and back to this one, then to the pair of eyes that belong to himself.  He squints at the dates again.

"Love of my life."  Louis whispers to himself flipping the pages back and forth.  It's not Zayn's first boyfriend, because Zayn didn't know him when they were 16.  He knew Louis though.  Maybe it's an object or a platypus or a hobby that is the love of Zayn's life.  It's surely not Louis.

The dates are what vex Louis though.  They're so far apart and the first one seems significant.  He goes through everything that happened those two months of his life, when he was 16 and then 18.

He tilts the sketchbook to try and get a different angle of the drawing and that's when he sees it. 

They're both drawings of times they had sex- more specifically Louis laid out underneath Zayn.  The first being when they lost their virginity to each other.  The second being the first time Zayn had sex Louis with after breaking up with his boyfriend and before Louis got with Mark.

_Love of my life._

Louis runs a hand through his hair.  This is terrible. 

His body breaks a sweat and his heart pounds through his ears.  He ignores it to keep looking.

There's more eyes that Louis doesn't recognize, platypodes, memories from uni, piano keys, guitars, Louis behind a desk at Taronga, dozens of animals that Zayn and Derek administered vet assistance to, and Louis' heart is pounding because it's honestly like watching his own life flash before his eyes. 

The next page makes Louis' hands jump off the page because it's an incomplete sketch, but he knows exactly what it is because this is a scene he saw from Zayn's perspective.  It's dated the day Louis committed suicide, and the lines hint at Louis' lifeless body on his bed.  His hands shake as he turns the next several pages, all very dark and moving.

Finally, there's a bright picture of Louis' eyes again.  Louis even notices how different his eyes look after that incident compared to the earlier drawings.  It makes him sad.

After that is a large chunk of memories and eyes and more dates that goes on until 2015.  He's about to put the book back when he thumbs one more page into June and sees Harry's eyes staring at him. 

Louis looks around in panic because the picture appears to be staring into Louis' soul, reminding him of how neglectful and shitty of a boyfriend he's been to his beautiful and wonderful Harry. 

Louis flips the page without looking at Harry's eyes again only to be bombarded with more pages filled with Harry.  Harry in every possible scenario that Louis has seen him in at the zoo, and then at their flat.  There are several drawings that Louis doesn't have a memory of that are dated when he was in the hospital.  One is of Harry on the front porch crying, and one is Harry on Louis' bed.  For as many pictures of Louis there are in Zayn's sketch book, there seem to now be an equivalent amount of Harry. 

It's really the gravity of the situation.  The weight of the tension tearing and ripping apart contrasting and mixed emotions that are drawn all across the pages and Louis honestly never has thought he'd feel such strong emotions looking at lead on paper. 

The shower shuts off and Louis can't turn the pages fast enough.

Dozens and dozens of drawings of Harry and Harry with Louis later, Louis flips to another incomplete sketch drawing that makes him chew at his thumbnail.  There's a small thumb print on the edge of the page where the paper is warped.  Louis deducts that this is probably the page Harry came across and smudged some lube on it in the process.

The lines are familiar and invoke a strong emotional response from his heart and adrenaline.  There are bowed lines that meet up with vertical lines.  There's a hint of more detail drawn in, but it's like Zayn had to stop himself before giving too much of it away.  Louis looks at the date from the beginning of December of last year, then back to the drawing, and realizes he was there for this event.  He just saw the mirrored image of it. 

It's Harry's back arched between Louis and Zayn. 

Louis reads the text at the bottom of the page in calligraphy: _Too Much Love Will Kill You_

Louis slams the sketch book shut and shoves it back into the drawer as Zayn comes out of the bathroom in a new pair of sweatpants.

~~~


	45. Chapter 44

A/N: I will be changing the update schedule to once weekly, as I'm struggling to stay consistent with my update days lately. Again, thank you for the love and concern you've shown. I am going through a change in marital status, so I've been pulled away from writing and updating a lot the last couple weeks due to my responsibilities being required elsewhere. I am still committed to you guys though and very committed to uploading this story. Also, I apologize for my lack of interaction with everyone- but please know I still go through every single one of your comments and notice what you guys are saying <3\. I do have a lot pre-written, so I will be able to continue uploading chapters weekly and hopefully things calm down enough to where it won't be so sporadic. 

ALSO I MESSED UP THE CHAPTERS xD. Which I knew was bound to happen since my Wattpad updates are incongruent with these ones. Thank you billions to Jesse who pointed it out. I'll have to back track a bit to make sure and get you guys up to date. We technically left of with Zayn showering and Louis looking through his notebook/journal.  Sooooo, this is where we pick back up and enjoy yourself some Zouis.

Also, all of that being said- I hope you guys enjoy and are able to take a break from any of your real life problems with reading <3 :)

And follow me on Twitter and come yell at me ^_^ [@dannieybarra](http://www.twitter.com/dannieybarra)

-Dannie

 

~~~

Zayn lifts a bored eyebrow and leans against the door jamb. "Thought I made my point clear about sharing beds anymore."

Louis opens his mouth to say something, but all that comes out is a strangled cough because his throat feels too tight. He pulls his legs up to his chest and presses his forehead to his knees to try and control his vocal breathing.

The bed dips down and there's a soft hand on his back. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Louis keeps his head where it's at because he can't look Zayn in the eyes when he's just looked into every intimate detail of Zayn's life. "I understand now. I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Did you drink more since I've been in the shower?" Zayn asks.

Louis' head shoots up to glare at him. "No! I'm a fucking idiot because I didn't get it till now. I'm a fucking idiot."

"You keep saying that and have no reason to." Zayn rubs his back.

"About how you feel about me- and Harry- and Harry and me." Louis white knuckles into his legs probably leaving crescent marks where his fingernails are digging into the skin.

Zayn gives him a disinterested face. "It's over now, so it's fine."

That rips something out from within Louis that hurts to his core. Something that he didn't even realize he had until mere minutes ago. "All of it? All of it's over now?"

"What?" Zayn asks confusedly.

"I'm not the love of your life anymore?" Louis' vision goes a little blurry, but he doesn't miss the completely defenseless look that Zayn gives him.

Zayn withdraws his hand from Louis' back and parts his lips to say something, but nothing comes out.

"And Harry too? Too much love killed you, right? That's why you changed. That's why it's different now." Louis says, a tear spilling over both eyelids. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Zayn."

Zayn's shaking his head. "You don't- you don't understand."

"What? Please tell me because I don't understand anything anymore." Louis cries.

"Louis, you've always been the love of my life. Since we were little- it's always been you." Zayn takes a deep breath and picks up Louis' hands. "But I've never had the right."

"Why didn't you ever tell me you loved me?" Louis wipes the tear track from his cheek praying that more won't follow.

Zayn's face falls into a pained expression. "I told you the best I could every day. But I- I couldn't. I didn't want to lose you and I had to be so much more than just in love with you. I had to be your everything Louis."

"You promised I wouldn't lose you if I loved Harry! I don't- I lost- I can't-" Louis breaks down and sobs on Zayn's shoulder.

Zayn squeezes him into a tight hug. "I'm here Louis. You didn't lose me. I'm always here for you."

"I'm so confused." Louis grips into Zayn's skin that's still warm from the shower.

"There's nothing to be confused over babe. You and Harry are in love and I love you as a best friend." Zayn kisses the side of Louis' head.

Louis shakes his head. "That's a lie though."

Zayn lets out a shaky breath. "No it's not. It's a truth. I love you as a best friend Louis. Anything more than that is only for me to worry about and not you."

Louis cries harder into Zayn's shoulder that smells familiar and comforting, surely getting any number of fluids all over his skin. "That's so unfair. You never told me. I never knew-"

"It wouldn't have changed anything Lou. I'd rather love you how I do right now. I've been able to have and love you for 22 years. I wouldn't have changed anything." Zayn says with a voice that's getting ever more strained.

Louis cries. He cries because nothing makes sense and he loves Zayn too, but that doesn't even make sense anymore. Love doesn't make sense and it hurts and consumes him.

"Babe, it's okay. You're happy and I am too. There's nothing to be sad over." Zayn comforts and pulls him in closer.

Louis really just cries harder at that because it feels like home being in Zayn's arms and he doesn't know if he can go the rest of his life without feeling them. "I d-don't want to lose you."

"Love, you're not going to lose me. We still _live_ together." Zayn breathes out a humorless laugh. "We're going to for at least another eight months or sommat."

Louis chokes on a laugh. "What about after that?"

Zayn pulls Louis away to look at him properly and sets a box of tissue in his lap for Louis to clean himself off with. "I don't know, but we can figure it out, okay? You're fine. You just need to sleep off everything in your system and tomorrow will be a better day, okay?"

"I don't want to have a better tomorrow. I want to have a better today." Louis throws a handful of used tissue onto the floor, already missing the close contact of Zayn.

Zayn wipes under Louis' eyes where tears are still leaking over. "What do you want me to do for you then?"

Louis knows what he wants at this point, but knows Zayn will never approve of it under logical circumstances, so Louis just has to go on impulse and hope it all works out.

Louis threads his fingers into Zayn's still damp hair and whispers. "Close your eyes."

Zayn doesn't seem to think much of it, and does as Louis requested, relaxing into his touch.

Louis guides Zayn to lay down on the bed, and Zayn does so, but opens his eyes to watch whatever Louis is doing.

Louis strokes fingers on Zayn's face and whispers again. "I said close your eyes."

Zayn blinks. "Louis-"

Louis dips down to kiss him softly, but passionately. He was anticipating Zayn to push him away and put a stop to it.

But Zayn doesn't. It's not that he just lets it happen either, but rather, he gives back with just as much as Louis is giving.

It's different than any other time because so much more understanding and feelings and intentions are behind it. The gravity of it makes Louis feel like it's the only thing he needs right now to ground himself again.

Louis chances moving his lips to Zayn's neck in the hopes that Zayn won't push him away.

Instead, Zayn just whispers out his name without any kind of ulterior motive. "Louis..."

Louis kisses a little harder on Zayn's sweet tasting neck and undoes his own shirt. Once it's off and tossed aside, he takes a break to feel up the warm and soft skin of Zayn's chest.

Zayn leans up to kiss Louis' neck and his hands find the button of Louis' pants to help him get out of them. The rest of their clothes are discarded as more kisses are shared, and Louis is glad that they're doing this together rather than Louis being the one to pressure it on him.

Louis fumbles for the lube in the nightstand drawer that he was snooping in earlier, and coats his fingers to prep Zayn like he's only done once before. Zayn falls completely into it, letting his eyes close and his chest rise and sink with the heavy breaths he's taking.

Louis can't help but touch and kiss as much of Zayn as he can while Zayn is laid out before him so beautifully. Touching Zayn feels electrifying in a way that it hasn't ever before and he knows it's because they've never made love like this before.

When Louis enters Zayn, he falls to his forearms to kiss Zayn deeply. Zayn wraps his arms around Louis' lower back and pulls them closer to each other.

Louis retracts his tongue back into his own mouth to mumble against Zayn's lips. "I love you Zayn."

"I've always loved you Louis." Zayn traces Louis' lips with his tongue before French kissing him again.

It's long and slow and Louis doesn't want it to end, but his body is begging for release, and Zayn is getting increasingly sensitive. Louis finally lets go minutes later and Zayn follows right behind.

Zayn pulls Louis to the bed so that they're still side to side but not touching, and Louis is still inside Zayn.

"Please just stay like this for a minute." Zayn tucks his head into the crook of Louis' neck.

Louis hugs him without pressing their sticky chests together, and kisses the top of Zayn's still damp fringe. "I'm here babe."

He's never felt this level of responsibility over Zayn before and he's positive that it's everything Zayn has felt and had to deal with their entire lives together. Louis finally sees things how Zayn sees them now and it really helps get closure on the whole situation.

He realizes that even if it he and Zayn would have started or ended like this, it wouldn't change anything for Louis. It didn't change anything except help him realize that it didn't change anything. There isn't anything that Louis needs from Zayn more than what Zayn has already given to Louis.

Louis naturally comes out of Zayn, but Zayn still makes no movements other than breathy and uneven exhales. Louis rubs the softness of Zayn's skin and curls the ends of his fringe around his finger.

"You alright?" Louis mumbles into his hair.

Zayn rolls onto his back and wipes away the wetness of tears that are running down his face. Louis forgets how silent of a crier Zayn is.

He does as Zayn did for him earlier and wipes the pools away from under his eyes. He leaves his hands caressing Zayn's face and then leans over to give Zayn a last kiss. It's salty and wet and Louis lets the emotions pass between them before pulling back and putting this behind him.

"I love you." Louis lets his lips brush against Zayn.

Zayn pulls away to wipe at his eyes again and stare at the ceiling. Louis sits with his legs over the edge of Zayn's bed and runs his hands through his hair a couple times.

The bed squeaks and Zayn goes into the bathroom again, but doesn't shut the door. Louis grabs a pair of Zayn's sweats to put on and Zayn comes out of the bathroom a minute later to do the same.

"Havin' a smoke." Zayn says as he leaves the bedroom.

Louis is 90 percent sure that Zayn's statement was actually an invitation for company, but a non-committal one in case Louis wants to never speak to him again. Which, obviously, Louis doesn't want to do.

Louis also doesn't want to think about how he's just fucked every relationship in his life over for his emotional instabilities, but he knows that topic is inevitable. He can't even think about where things are supposed to go from here for himself and Harry- hell, himself and Zayn.

So Louis follows him to the front porch where Zayn is leaned over the guard rail and staring at the empty field across from their house. Louis copies him and Zayn pulls out his pack of cigs from his pocket.

Louis holds a hand out for a cigarette.

"No." Zayn says.

Louis turns to look at him. "Now."

Zayn pauses, but doesn't fight Louis past that and hands him the pack and lighter.

Louis sticks it between his lips feeling a mix between nostalgia and sadness. He lights the tip and tips his head back as he sucks in the first drag, then lets his head hang on the exhale. He shifts his weight a few times, leaning against the wooden railing.

"Do you think if we lit that field on fire we'd create some kind of time portal and get a chance to do it all over again?" Louis coughs, not used to the particular hit of a cigarette anymore.

Zayn leans his chin on his hand while the other is holding the cigarette away from his face. "We could always try."

"What would you do differently?" Louis asks.

"No fucking clue." Zayn blows out a huff of smoke with a small laugh. "You?"

"No fucking clue." Louis smiles.

Louis thinks about how this is one of those moments where he could choose to get angry over anything again because he doesn't know what the fuck his life has come to or why he's chosen the things he's chosen up to this point. He thinks of Liam's advice about letting go of the anger when the crossroad is presented.

Louis thinks he just doesn't have the emotional capacity to be angry anymore, so he doesn't worry about it because like Jonah said, things will work out for the best in the end.

"I'm thinking about inviting Liam over for the weekend." Zayn side eyes Louis.

Louis realizes that Zayn is actually asking permission and if Louis has an opinion on the matter.

Which he does.

"You should." Louis encourages. "I was thinking about hanging out elsewhere for a few days."

He wasn't, but he does want Zayn to spend the weekend with Liam, and it would make good sense for Louis to spend some time elsewhere.

"You sure?" Zayn asks.

"Yep. Just give me your pack of Winnies." Louis grins with the cigarette around his lips.

"You're the one with the budget for it now. Get your own." Zayn taps the pack on his nose, and Louis swipes it from him.

"Thanks babe." Louis gives him a peck on the cheek for good measure. "I'm going to go pack then I'll be off. Enjoy your weekend."

Zayn sighs. "You too. Love ya."

"You too." Louis says noncommittally then drops the butt of his cigarette in the ashtray on his way in.

He gathers a couple days' worth of outfits and piles them into an old duffle bag he owns. He feeds Queen Gohma and gives her terrarium a kiss. When he pulls his phone off the charger, it lights up telling him he has two missed calls from Harry and a text.

**Sorry I missed you. Love you so much <3 Sweet dreams xxx**

Louis sticks another cigarette between his lips for the comfort of it and texts Harry back.

**You still up?**

Then he opens his contacts and dials Niall.

Several rings later, and Niall answers. "Louis mate, what's up?"

"Can I ask a favor?" Louis doesn't let himself feel bad because friends willingly give favors and Louis knows when he needs to ask for the help and support of others.

"Anything." Niall responds instantly.

"Can I have a bed till Monday?" Louis doesn't bother explaining more to Niall now since he plans on talking to him about everything anyway.

"O'course. You comin' tonight?" Niall asks.

"If that's alright." Louis hoists the duffle over his shoulder and grabs his keys on his way out.

"Definitely. Come over whenever mate. Front door's open for ya." Niall says.

"Thanks. See you in a mo." Louis' phone vibrates, presumably with a text back from Harry.

"Sounds good. See you soon." Niall says.

"Yeah, bye." Louis hangs up and opens the text from Harry.

**Of course! Everything okay??**

This makes Louis feel bad mostly because Harry assumes something is wrong simply because Louis is putting forth an effort to talk to him. Not that Harry's wrong.

He tosses his duffle into the back seat of his Outback and sits in the driver's seat while he types up a text.

He starts with 'I fucked Zayn' and then deletes it. After several variations of that, he deletes them all and finally settles on one that he thinks is a smoother delivery.

**No. Just wanted to let you know your penguin-dolphin is an unfaithful asshole and had relations with the penguin-walrus.**

It's the best Louis can do. But how do you tell your long-distance boyfriend that you cheated on him?

Louis is expecting a phone call from Harry, but Navi yells at him instead, and he opens the text.

**Don't talk about my penguin that way :( Is companion tarantula being replaced by coitus tarantula?**

Louis laughs in spite of himself; and at Harry, who is not reacting at all how Louis expected. He feels bad though. Harry's basically just asked if Louis is replacing him with Zayn.

**No. Not if you'll still have me.**

Louis sends it because it's honest and true. Like he had discovered earlier, Harry is what he wants. Louis already had everything he needed from Zayn before tonight happened.

It's selfish. Louis knows it's selfish. But it's the truth, and it's why Zayn never shared the deep parts of himself with Louis before- because he already knew Louis had what he needed from him.

He starts his car and drives to Niall's. By the time he gets there, he has another text from Harry.

**Cuz I've never been unfaithful before. Of course I'll still have you.**

Louis furrows his eyebrows at the text and rapidly types up his next one.

**You haven't been... seeing other rabbits in Brisbane have you?**

Louis feels really silly for never having thought about this before, and probably even sillier for not being able to outright ask Harry if he's sleeping with other people. If Louis is subject to cheating, Harry is very well just as subject to it, and no one really knows what they're capable of until it happens. It's not that Louis would blame Harry for it, because that would certainly be the pot calling the kettle black, but-

His phone vibrates him out of his train of thought.

**God no! I'm just saying I've offered myself to a famously straight multibillionaire actor who is married. I don't have any room to judge and I get that sex is about more than just sex. Particularly with Z since I knew there was still that possibility of you guys being intimate (though I thought you were going to at least give me the courtesy of asking beforehand?). I'm jealous more than anything...**

Louis somehow thinks that Harry means he's jealous that Zayn got to have sex with him and Harry physically can't right now. He gets another text from Harry before he has the chance to reply.

**Has it been going on for a while? Is that why we haven't talked?**

He feels really guilty at this because he really should call Harry. He's let go the final strand of anger that's towards himself and the grief cycle is basically at the acceptance stage now. He can't quite get himself there yet though because everything is still a little raw.

**No, just happened tonight. No, been busy. Sorry. Talk to you tomorrow though. I'm headed to bed.**

It's a cheap brush off and completely indecent of him to do, but he pockets his phone and doesn't think twice about it.

He walks through the front door and there's a cacophony of yapping and fluffy balls of canines at his feet. He sets his duffle down, making sure not to squish any of them, and bends down to greet them.

Niall and Barbie come up to him shortly after, and it's not long before he's completely settled into a guest bedroom bigger than his kitchen, and making his way back downstairs where Barbie cooked him a special vegan meal.

"Thanks so much Barbs. I really appreciate it." Louis says after finishing the delicious meal.

"Anytime. We're so happy to host you. Are you sure there isn't more we can do for you?" She offers.

"No, no. This alone was unnecessary, but very appreciated. So thank you all the same." Louis gets up to clean his dish, but Barbara takes it from him.

"Go relax with Niall and let me take care of this." She smiles. "Help yourself to anything. What's ours is yours."

Niall grabs a beer and motions for Louis to follow him into the garage. He gets in the driver's side of a convertible Mercedes and Louis gets in the other front seat.

"We going on a drive?" Louis asks, amused.

"Nah. Just my thinking spot. I get to feel like a man in my garage and sports car." Niall tips his beer towards Louis. "You sure you don't want a beer?"

"Nooo." Louis laughs lightly. "I'm already going to be 70 shades of sick tomorrow morning."

"Isn't that a book or something?" Niall squints his eyes at Louis.

Louis shrugs.

"I need to properly thank you for everything you did for me that week last year. I don't know how you knew what to do, but you really were just kind of my Savior there. I dunno what I would've done without you. I can tell you I'd definitely not still be with Barbie." Niall says.

"I'm happy I could help. You two seem to be in a good spot." Louis says because they do. They seem to be back to the Niall and Barbara he knew post-traumatic-incident.

"Yeah. We still have ups and downs about it, but it really helped me realize she's the one I want to be with, ya know?" Niall runs his hand along the steering wheel. "I'm proposing to her."

Louis blinks and his face breaks into an enormous grin. "No way, really?! Niall, that- congratulations!"

Niall rolls his eyes. "Shush or she'll hear ya."

Louis sombers down, but can't keep the smile from his face. "I'm really stoked for you. Do you- do you have a ring yet?"

Niall purses his lips, then sets his beer in the cup holder and pulls a box out of his jacket. "I carry it with me everywhere because you just never know the right time, you know?"

Louis takes the small velvet box that's handed to him and runs his fingers over it a few times before opening it. He expects the gaudiest rock he could dream up to be poised elegantly on a cushion, but there's not. Instead, there's a thin golden band snug between the cushions with a few tiny diamonds embedded into the band.

Louis' heart does funny things and it's probably because it's just been a hella emotional day, but he wonders what it would feel like to get a ring for someone- for _Harry_ \- because that's all he can really think about at the moment. That and the thought that he doesn't really have a right to think about proposing to Harry hardly an hour after having sex with Zayn.

He closes it as his eyes start to gloss over, and hands the box back to Niall. "It's really beautiful. She's really- she's really lucky." He strains out and clears his eyes before they can betray him.

"Do you want to talk about it, or is it just your time of month?" Niall jokes lightly.

"Yeah actually, it'd just be good to- to talk to someone else about it. Do you mind?" Louis asks, feeling self-conscious.

"Hell no. Vent all night if you need." Niall offers.

Louis grabs Niall's beer because what the hell. He's fucked anyway.

He takes a few swigs and then tells Niall the story from the day he met Harry (including some of his backstory for the sake of understanding why he was so hesitant at first), to Jerry dying, to meeting Harry's family, to explaining his relationship with Zayn, to how their relationship developed together and all the details of how it felt for Louis, and then how it all crashed and burned and how Harry lives in Brisbane now. He finally gets to what happened tonight, and it feels incredible to have all of it off his chest to someone completely unattached to the whole situation.

The single beer is long gone, and Louis has his seat leaned back like a psychoanalysist chair. He looks over to Niall who is staring out the front windshield.

"Mate, do you... do you need to stay here for longer than the weekend? You can stay however long you want or need." Niall finally says.

Louis shakes his head. "No, it's fine. Zayn and I are fine now and so are Harry and I. I just need a little space for a bit."

"Jesus Louis, that's-" Niall shakes his head, "-I don't say this with any judgment but... damn."

Louis shrugs.

"Harry's... he's fine with it?" Niall asks.

"He said he doesn't have any room to judge and he said he understands since it was with Zayn." Louis says.

"He's still... hurt though?" Niall asks.

"He didn't sound hurt." Louis opens the glove box and shuffles through it for the sake of giving himself something to do.

"So when are you going to call and talk properly to him about it?" Niall asks.

"I'm not, um..." Louis trails off. "I don't know."

"You don't know or you don't plan to?" Niall looks over at Louis.

"Both." Louis picks up a pen from the glove box and starts disassembling it.

"Why not?" Niall asks.

Louis had specifically chosen not to ask himself that question because he's scared of what he would find the answer to be. But with Niall asking him, he feels it would be a waste to lie. He's been forthcoming with everything else and shouldn't stop the streak here.

"I s'ppose I'm just embarrassed to talk about it. I've ignored Harry's calls for months now- and the first time I call him again will be to talk about me fucking my lifelong person?" Louis says. "I'm just rather ashamed that I'm halfway through my life and don't have my shit together as much as I thought I did."

Niall waves him off. "Nah, you're young. Harry's young. You both are going to fuck up plenty more shit until you get it figured out. Same with me and Barb. That's why I'll make sure and have a ring on her finger the next time one of us fucks up- so that we know no matter what, we'll always work things out together."

Louis smiles. "I think that's both romantic and stupid."

Niall shrugs. "It's the best plan I've got so far."

"Should Harry be really upset with me? I feel like I'm more upset with me than he is." Louis says.

"Well, he did ask if it had been going on for a while. Maybe he suspected it the whole time and already accepted that it was happening. Maybe he truly doesn't care if you still sleep with Zayn." Niall says.

"No, he cares. He asked that Zayn or I always tell him about it before it happens, so that means he cares because he wants to know, right?" Louis asks.

"I dunno mate. It's unfamiliar territory for me. I've only ever tried to be truly committed to one person at a time." Niall says. "Aside from that, it was open relationships for me."

"Do you think I have commitment issues?" Louis asks, only feeling a little attacked.

"I think you're scared." Niall says easily.

"Of what?" Louis feels dumb for asking. He feels like the answer used to be that he was scared of losing one or the other, but he so clearly has both and could probably continue to do so if he wanted to.

"Of making a decision. It's just like in business. The ones who are scared to make decisions never make it. I'm not any kind of business genius, I just knew how to make decisions. And after doing that for a while, I became better than most at it, so here I am." Niall motions to the luxury car they're sitting in.

"How do I make a decision then?" Louis asks.

"Depends on what you want." Niall says. "What do you want?"

"I want Harry in Sydney." Louis mumbles.

"Let me put it this way, if you had the perfect job and flat and great coworkers and a boss and friends up in Brisbane- everything you have here- where would you choose to live?" Niall asks.

"Well Zayn's my friend, would he be in Brisbane?" Louis asks smartly.

"Would that make or break the deal for you?" Niall counters back and lifts both eyebrows at him.

Louis feels stuck between a rock and a hard place and really frustrated. He really just wishes he could go back to when things were simpler and more innocent. Before Harry ever showed up. Before Louis ever had options to choose from.

"It wouldn't matter because I don't have a job and friends and whatnot in Brisbane." Louis decides.

Niall smiles. "So you're not ready to let go of Zayn yet. See? It wasn't that hard to say."

"That's not what I said." Louis says defensively.

"Mate, it's either you're willing to drop everything and run to Harry, or you're not. And you're not. I even gave you the courteously of evening out the playing field and you still chose Zayn." Niall says nonchalantly.

"But I don't want to end up with Zayn." Louis argues.

"Your decisions say otherwise." Niall settles back into his seat.

"What am I supposed to do? Move up to Brisbane and- and what? Harry doesn't even know what he's going to do after his internship." Louis defends his position of helplessness.

"That's for you to decide." Niall gives him a grin, showing off snow white teeth.

Louis glares at him.

Niall's look softens and he places a hand on Louis' thigh. "Look, I know it's not easy. I'm not trying to be a hard-ass on you or make light of your situation. It's a hard spot to be in. But sometimes you just have to trim away all the fat- all the emotions and redundancies tied to it- and see what you're left with. And what you're left with is your long term best friend and your short term boyfriend, both whom you love deeply. I wouldn't expect you to up and leave Zayn for Harry. In fact, I'd be surprised if you did. But just remember, each decision you make is either going to draw you closer or farther from Harry. If he's who you want to be with in the end, just keep that in mind."

Louis lets his head fall sideways onto the headrest. It makes sense. It's so simple, and it makes sense. Sleeping with Zayn tonight drew him farther from Harry. Not talking to Harry every day draws him farther away.

Louis sighs. "Thank you. For everything Niall. I think I need to turn in now though. I still have to get up for work tomorrow."

Niall pats his thigh a couple times. "Anytime pal. Let me the fuck know what I can do for you, and you've got it, anytime."

"Thanks Ni. You're a great friend." Louis smiles as they leave the garage and go back into the mansion for sleep.

~~~


	46. Chapter 45

                     
~~~

Z

Zayn may have made a really stupid decision. 

Yes, the making-romantic-heartbroken-love-with-Louis thing was probably not his brightest decision ever; but he thinks it's stupider that he's just accepted the incoming call from Harry. 

Zayn must have a death wish obviously.  There is no logical reason for doing this.

"Zayn!  How's it going?"  Harry chirps.

"As good as one can be for it being midnight and headed to the petrol station.  What's up?"  Zayn shifts his car into park and trudges into the BP.

"Why are you at a petrol station at midnight?"  Harry asks like it's the most interesting thing he's heard in his life.

The fluorescent lights attack Zayn like he's a prison inmate without the luxury of a proper night's sleep, which he kind of is.  A prisoner to himself that is.  Himself and his stupid decisions.

"Louis thought it would be kosher to swipe my Winnies, so I don't have post coital ciggies like I need to function."  Zayn says leaning over the counter and pointing to the pack he wants from behind the counter, and grabbing a travel size pack of Tim-Tams because it's a fucking midnight on a Wednesday and Zayn needs some god damned Tim-Tams. 

He thinks it's probably been almost a decade since he's had Tim-Tams.

"Oh, you and Louis decided to go for round two?"  Harry asks.

Zayn snorts before it processes what Harry has _actually_ just said.  "No, Liam just- wait shit, what?"

The woman behind the counter points to the green number showing how much Zayn owes, and Zayn slaps down a note and takes his cigarettes and Tim-Tams out to the safe haven of his car.

"Didn't realize he picked up smoking again either."  Harry says nonchalantly.

Fuck. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck the Easter bunny, Zayn is fucked.

This is why he needs cigarettes.  He's off his game and fucks everything up otherwise.

Zayn sighs.  "Haz, why did you call?" 

"Just haven't called you and wanted to see how you were doing.  Well, other than our 10 second conversation earlier tonight when you picked up Louis' phone at the bar.  Who drove whom to the afternoon drinking?"  Harry asks much too friendly for what his words suggest.

Zayn slams his car door and sits in the driver's seat.  "Shit Haz, it wasn't like that at all.  Please don't make this difficult for yourself."

"Ha, ha."  Harry drawls.  "Difficult for myself?  Right, because that's what I want to do.  Cause _more_ problems from states away."

"Look I'm sorry, but honestly, this is between you and Louis.  You really should talk to him about it."  Zayn lights a cigarette and cracks his window open.

"Oh wow!  Grand fucking idea!  Maybe I'd do that if he had the decency to pick up my fucking calls, that way I wouldn't have been informed of who he's most recently shagging through a text message!"  Harry yells at him through the small phone speaker so loudly that it crackles in his ear.

Zayn inhales as much smoke as he can as quickly as possible.  This is not fucking good.  Zayn thought he was an idiot, but no, Louis equals his idiocy on his best day.  This is why they're friends.  This is why they burn fields together and fuck each other.

"What do you want from me Harry?  If it's to call and bitch, I'm not interested.  I literally.  Don't.  Have the patience for this right now."  Zayn says calmly.

"Sorry, don't I have the right to be upset for a minute here?"  Harry asks rhetorically.

"Not to me, not really."  Zayn says, resigned that the conversation is apparently happening anyway.

"I just-" Harry huffs.  "Why won't he call me Zayn?  Why won't he talk to me?  Is he- is he breaking up with me and just trying to like, do it slowly?"

"Shit."  Zayn pulls out a new cigarette and lights it with the burnt filter of the one still between his lips.  "No, he loves you."

"That's why he slept with you right?  Because he loves me."  Harry says.

Zayn pities him, really.  Because he has a strong hunch that Harry doesn't have anyone else to have this conversation with.  So he sets aside any emotional connection he has to this conversation to help the poor boy out.  Similar to how Zayn used to do when listening to Louis' problems with Mark.

"He slept with me because he was lonely and emotional because he misses you and loves you."  Zayn says carefully. 

"Well I'm glad he had a friend there to hold his cock through it."  Harry bites out.

Zayn doesn't point out that there wasn't really any of that involved, and instead stands up for Louis.  "Hey, don't insult Louis just because you're bitter.  And _if_ you're going to be bitter about it, have the decency to not lie to Louis about being fine with it."

"So you were there when he was texting me?"  Harry asks.

"No, I just know Louis better than the back of my hand, and if you had lashed out at him, I would have heard of it by way of stupid actions on Louis' part.  There haven't been any of those, so deductive reasoning tells me what happened.  Plus, you tend to save the lashings just for me."  Zayn gives himself a thin grin in his side mirror as he flicks the ash off the end of the cigarette.  "You two are rather predictable."

Harry sighs.  "I'm sorry.  What's wrong with me?"

"You're a thousand kilometers away from your boyfriend who just cheated on you and the only person you have to talk to about it is the person he slept with.  You're upset.  It's natural."  Zayn says wondering if it would be worth it to just sleep in his car.  He has to be up in another couple hours to make an early house call with Derek in fucking Canberra.

"Why did this happen?  What am I supposed to do?"  Harry asks with a little more than a hint of desperation.

"I don't know Haz.  I'm not you and I'm not Louis.  You two need to fix the shit you get yourselves in."  Zayn says feeling bad because he knows it's honestly probably more of Louis causing the issues at this point.  If Louis wasn't being a prideful twat and made an effort, he could actually find his own niche of happiness.

But what does Zayn know about anything?  He's never been in a long distance relationship with anyone before.  He just knows he would do whatever it took to keep Louis or Harry as close to him as possible if he were the one in a relationship with either of them.

Harry is silent though, and Zayn can hear him sniffling across the line. 

"For what it's worth, I'm really sorry for my part in all this."  Zayn apologizes.

"Why- why would you do that to me Zayn?"  Harry asks with a small voice.

Harsh truths are something Zayn is very familiar with.  Too familiar with.  However, he realizes it was through harsh experiences that those truths are learned, and Harry's about to learn one of them right now.  But Zayn wants to make the delivery in such a fashion that doesn't have Harry wanting to drown himself by the end of the conversation.

"Harry, I say this with all the love in the world, but it wasn't about you.  I know that might be hard for you to understand.  But it's like how we kissed without Louis around- it wasn't about Louis.  It was about you and me and what we mean to each other."  Zayn pauses for a second because he feels like he's ingesting an entire fifth of cyanide at the moment and is trying to breathe properly. 

Zayn continues on.  "Same with me and Louis tonight.  It was about me loving him as long as I can remember and Louis finally realizing that.  He realized a lot more than that though too.  He also gets now why I can't be with either of you, and he gets why you're better for him than me and why he wants _you_.  Doesn't mean he's not going to be torn up over it though.  Or maybe he won't.  Maybe he doesn't care for me a gram of how much I care about him."

"Right.  No, I'm sorry for acting immature about this.  You're right.  It's never been about me with you two.  I'm sorry for saying that."  Harry sighs.  "And don't be an idiot.  We both know he cares about you just as much as you do him.  He's just too inexperienced to understand what he's feeling."

"'S basically the epitome of his life though, innit?  If it's not something sad, he doesn't recognize what the hell he's feeling."  Zayn props his elbow up on the window jamb and rests the side of his head on his hand while he finishes his cigarette.

"What do I do then?"  Harry asks.  "I can't just leave.  I- I need this job... I don't know if I went back to visit Sydney that I'd ever want to come back here.  I don't even care anymore Zayn- I just want him here, that's all I really need... I miss him.  What do I do?"

"I don't know Haz."  Zayn decides against lighting a third because he's wired enough as is.  "But if you still want Louis, don't push him away.  He's looking for any reason to cut himself off from you because that's what he does when he's grieving.  It'll just take some time."

"How much time?  It's only April and I haven't heard from him for the better part of the year.  Do I have to wait till December for him to pull his head out of his ass?"  Harry groans.

Zayn closes his eyes feeling completely exhausted after the never-ending day this has turned into. 

He lights a third cigarette.  "I don't know Haz.  I don't know."

~~~

L

It's halfway through May and Louis is back to living at his own flat. 

He ended up staying with Niall for a little longer than planned with a quick text to Zayn letting him know that Barbara's offered prawns if Louis agreed to staying another week.  Zayn didn't blame him.

But now he's up too early with his tarantula on his chest and looking through the pictures of Harry on Facebook.

Louis doesn't actually ever use his Facebook.  It was created years and years ago when it was still just a beta college program out of some guy's garage. 

Harry, however, is rather active on the thing, and Louis is grateful that there was a night many months ago when Harry stole Louis' phone to download the app and add himself as a friend.  It's convenient for times when Louis is in the mood to stalk pictures and updates of his boyfriend's life when he's having a pity party for himself.

It's mostly pictures of fish and seascapes and grainy photos of Harry in wetsuits with scuba or snorkeling gear draped all over himself.  There's a couple tagged pictures by his friend Sadie of what appears to be a church charity activity as Louis' deducted from the hairnets and soup kitchen appearance of the background.

Louis doesn't deserve Harry.  Which is exactly why he hasn't done anything since he's slept with Zayn.  He doesn't deserve to talk to Harry, break up with Harry, fix things with Harry, tell Harry he loves him- hell- he doesn't even deserve to Facebook stalk him. 

It was only yesterday night that Harry texted Louis and tried casually asking how Louis was doing with not smoking cigarettes anymore.  Louis counted up the days since he had been snorkeling with Harry and told him that's how many days he had been sober because the possibility of breaking Harry's heart any further is worth lying for.

Louis closes the app and sets his phone on his nightstand, too dejected to play a game of chess. 

He can hear Zayn on the phone with someone, telling them an anecdote about one time when he was a veterinary intern and killed someone's hunting falcon by accidentally giving them the wrong medicine.

He sticks his finger out for Gohma to tickle with her pincers and waits for time to pass.

~~~

June and Louis is at work after hours feeling dead tired.  Tired of life.  Tired of things.  Tired of himself.

Perry and Dez come snuggle up to him though and at least he has this.  He's always had the platypodes and the platypus habitat. 

Winston is swimming around with Tom and Rico is nudging his bill against Louis' foot.  Louis didn't even bother sitting on his lawn chair and is sprawled across the muddy bank of the pond.  He hasn't moved Zayn's since he's quit.  Both lawn chairs just take up space now, and Louis should really throw them out because he only ever sits on the ground anymore.  Why would he sit in his lawn chair full of years of memories of Jerry and Zayn?  A chair that reminds him of better days.

Louis' phone rings and he automatically declines it.  He's aware that Harry is graduating sometime this month-assuming he got on top of his schoolwork- but he's sure Harry will live with just sending him an exclamatory text and picture of his diploma.

Except his phone notifies him officially of the missed call, and he realizes it was Conner who called him.

"Shit."  He mutters and fumbles with his phone to call him back.

Conner answers after the first ring.  "Hey Louis."

"Hey."  Louis doesn't even try to sound happy.

"Are you still at work?"  Conner asks.

Louis pulls his phone away to look at the time.  It's 8:30pm on a Saturday night.  Louis should have left work over four hours ago. 

"Um, I'm not on the clock."  Louis says even though he knows Conner wouldn't care if he was.

"I just got a new vitamin supplement for everyone, so I'm dropping by in about 10."  Conner says.

"Sure."  Louis says.

"See you soon then."  Conner hangs up.

Louis is really used to letting time pass by now, so 10 minutes feels like quicker than a blink of the eye.  He hears the door squeak and pushes Dez off his chest and removes Perry from his neck to go help Conner with whatever new supplement he has.

"There's instructions in the packaging on how to add it into their diet.  I've got to run, but can you have this in their food for tomorrow?"  Conner asks.

Louis feels a little taken aback because as long as he's known Conner, he's never had anywhere to be.  Except the times his granddaughter was in labor, he was in a rush those days, but they came every couple years.  Maybe that was the case again.

"You having another grandchild?"  Louis asks.

Conner gives Louis a double take.  "Sorry?"

"You're just never in a hurry to leave unless you're going to the hospital for one of your grandkids births."  Louis says feeling oddly sad about the words for no reason in particular.

"Oh, no.  It's my wife and my Golden Anniversary tonight.  We have reservations."  Conner gives him a big smile and taps at his watch.

Louis feels existentially sad, probably because he's too old to live long enough to have a Golden Anniversary with anyone anymore.  He thinks it's probably time again for another drinking binge until he blacks out and doesn't remember tonight.

"Congrats.  Have fun then."  Louis cuts open the packaging to start reading the instructions.

But Conner leans against the counter and keeps talking to him.  "You know the secret to a long lasting relationship is in the little things.  Dinners and compliments and flowers and such."

"Great advice."  That I'll never use, Louis mentally tacks on because Harry's going to break up with him the moment he thinks Louis is stable enough to accept that.

"You know you can't do any of those things if you're not with them."  Conner says, suggesting that Louis has any kind of say over the matter.

"He wants to be there and I want him to be there.  You don't think I've thought about every kind of compromise to make this work?  It can't and it won't."  Louis says cutting the conversation off before it can happen.

"I'm sorry.  It's not my place."  Conner says, and Louis feels like a dick because Conner is the closest thing he has to a dad and he's made him feel like it's not his fucking place.

"No."  Louis sighs.  "It is.  I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm sorry.  It is your place."

Conner rests a hand on his shoulder.  "I just don't want you here every night the rest of your life till 8:30 at night.  You deserve more than that."

"Thanks."  Louis says grimly back.

Conner gives him a pat on the back and a smile.  "Have a good night then."

"Mmhmm."  Louis hums as he inspects the words on the paper.

Conner leaves without another word to Louis, and Louis' phone vibrates.

He opens it up to a picture message of Niall and Barbara looking like the happiest people on earth, Barbara holding up her left hand with the simple golden band around her ring finger.

**She said yes!!!!!!**

Louis thinks the world is laughing at his face and giving him a giant middle finger.

~~~


	47. Chapter 46

A/N: Here we are back at the chapter you guys read last week... (sorry again xD)

~~~

It's August and Louis is laying in his bed and declining yet another call from Harry.

Harry always tries twice, and Louis does them both a favor by ignoring both calls.

When the Song of Storms ends for the second time, the too-high pitched moans of Liam echo through the whole flat. Louis wonders how much higher his vocal range is capable of going. Louis thinks if there are any circumstances that he would be hearing it, it would definitely be while he's doing God knows what with Zayn.

Louis cringes and tries to stop thinking about Liam and Zayn, but it's hard at times.

Like right now for instance. Liam is definitely a soprano falsetto at least. Possibly first soprano opera worthy with the runs that are going on. Louis would have thought it was a girl if he didn't actually watch Liam walk through their flat door hours earlier. They had the decency to put on some Celine Dion, but it's useless in terms of noise cancelling at this point.

Liam has all but officially moved in. There's a dirty tea mug in the sink that belongs to Liam and leftovers in the fridge with his name on it.

Liam's stuff is essentially everywhere.

Louis has only accidentally put on Liam's underwear twice. He didn't realize he was wearing the Batman ones until he took them off later that day. Then there was the lacy pink panty incident. Louis had gotten dressed in the dark that morning and couldn't for the life of him figure out why he had to scratch his ass all day. When he finally went to the bathroom at lunch time, he about vomited into the toilet when he realized he was stuck wearing them for the rest of the day.

Zayn laughed his ass off and Liam was mortified when Louis admitted what happened.

He wants to scratch his ass just at the ghost of a memory that the terrible lace rubbing his skin raw.

Once the trilling and moaning stops, Louis figures it's safe to go out to the kitchen for a glass of water. Except when he opens his door, Liam is stumbling down the hall in high heels with make-up smeared all over his face.

Louis has no reaction for the context of this situation anywhere in his 30 years of life, which he thinks, is the _only_ reason why he is able to keep a straight face.

Liam, however, is crimson.

Crimson and looking urgent.

"Not staying over tonight?" Louis blinks.

Liam shakes his head.

Louis nods.

Liam scratches his hair- his _wig_.

Which. Louis just.

Louis goes back into his room and stares at Queen Gohma.

"I don't think I will ever be able to unsee that." Louis says.

Louis feels like he should call Harry just to feel normal again. To remind himself that he and Harry are normal.

Fuck Zayn and him ever accusing he and Harry of being abnormal.

Zayn is abnormal.

 _Liam_ is abnormal.

Louis needs about three packs of cigarettes to try and feel normal.

But he doesn't want to risk going outside of his bedroom.

Ever again.

Louis' phone buzzes with the nightly text Harry sends without a doubt every night since he's left for Brisbane.

**Love you so much Louis. Sweet dreams and sleep well xxx**

Louis texts back a simple 'love you too, goodnight' as always, and sets his phone aside.

His door cracks open a minute later, and Louis is a little horrified to see what might be entering his room, when he realizes it's only Zayn.

Zayn lays down next to Louis. He's shirtless and in sweats.

"So you have a crossdressing kink? That's your thing?" Louis asks.

"Me?" Zayn asks like Liam didn't just leave his room in skin-tight leggings and high heels. And a wig. "No, Liam wanted to role play as a prostitute. He has a thing for it sometimes."

"Sweet fucking mother Mary, please don't tell me these things." Louis groans.

"You asked." Zayn says.

"I'm sorry I did." Louis shudders. "Why are you here?" It's not that Louis cares- he likes the company, but Zayn rarely comes into his room to lay on his bed with him anymore.

"I wanted to ask how you were doing with Harry." Zayn turns to look at him. "When's the last time you've answered one of his calls?"

"Yesterday." Which is the truth. Louis accidentally hit 'accept' instead of 'decline'.

Zayn's not having it though. "When's the last time you _talked_ to Harry?"

"We mostly text now." Louis says discreetly.

He considers their simple and routine 'goodnight' texts conversational enough. Just because Louis won't respond outside of the same four or five words, doesn't mean he hasn't been talking to him.

"You're still not answering the question." Zayn calls out his bullshit.

Louis sighs. "His birthday."

"You haven't talked to him in seven months?" Zayn props himself up sideways on his elbow. "Not even after we-"

Louis waves his hand to cut him off. "Just trying to be supportive. Focusing on the greater good. Him getting through school and his work and me not bothering him." Louis says. The way he says it almost sounds like it's not still painful for him to think about.

"You know that's not healthy right?" Zayn asks.

Louis scoffs. "What even is healthy anymore? There's no such thing as a healthy relationship. That's why my mom offed herself after my dad finally died. It's why girlfriends break up with their boyfriends after they convert to their church. It's why Barbara never told Niall she was pregnant."

"I think a relationship is healthy if both parties are happy." Zayn says.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Great. That means a lot coming from my best mate who just got done pretend fucking his cross-dressed not-boyfriend for money."

Zayn laughs. "We're both happy though. It's all just good fun."

"Why the hell don't you just ask him to be your boyfriend then?" Louis asks. He's been wondering it for a while now.

"Because I can't even remember the last committed relationship I was in. I think I was 18." Zayn hums reminiscently and it reminds Louis of Zayn's sketchbook.

Louis wonders how many drawings Zayn has done that he hasn't been there for anymore. Wonders how many drawings of Liam's eyes are there now.

Zayn breaks him from his thoughts. "I've always had you."

"And what about when you don't have me?" Louis challenges because he _will_ move out eventually. He'll move out and be with Harry and he won't be there for Zayn anymore.

"You think things are going to work out with you and Harry?" Zayn says without a hint of humor.

Louis sits up instantly. "Sorry?"

Zayn lifts his eyebrows at Louis. "You really believe you're going to end up happily ever after with Harry?"

"You say that like you think our relationship is a joke." Louis says defensively.

"Um mate, it is. You haven't called him in _seven months_. Everything you are doing is opposite of a happily ever after. You're not taking care of what you have and it's already gone." Zayn says with a laugh at his lips.

"Excuse me?" Louis paces around his room now and is reminded of the conversation he had with Niall a couple months back, but ignores the incriminating evidence. "You don't know shit Zayn! Harry and I are _fine_. We're just- we're just going through a rough patch. You don't have to be a fucking dick about it. Especially coming from you- talk about taking care of what you have. You- you treat Liam like a whore- for fun!"

Zayn's face looks like he's about to lose his cool, but then it's gone the instant it's there, and he's cool as a cucumber again. "You know what? You're right. I'm going to change that."

"What?" Louis asks exasperatedly.

Zayn picks up his phone and dials a number.

Louis slits his eyes at Zayn, confused and worked up.

Zayn's face lights up. "Li, baby. Thanks for tonight. I have a quick question for you."

Louis gapes at him.

"Will you be my boyfriend? I meant it when I said I love you tonight. That part wasn't role play." Zayn winks at Louis.

Louis audibly scoffs.

"Perfect. Let's celebrate tomorrow and I'll take your sweet, cheeky ass to a fancy restaurant, mmkay?" Zayn crosses his propped legs and bobs one foot up and down.

Louis scowls at Queen Gohma because this is fucking ridiculous.

"Love you too poochie-coo schnookims. Sweet dreams." Zayn makes a kissing noise and hangs up the phone.

Louis rolls his eyes. "You should have told Lucas hi for me."

Zayn holds his phone out for Louis. "Check my call history. I literally just called Liam."

Louis feels like checking it because there's no way Zayn actually just had that conversation with Liam.

"Oh look! He texted me." Zayn pulls his phone to his face again. "He says, 'I can't believe I'm lucky enough to call you my boyfriend now. Can't wait for our first official date!' See Louis, this is what a healthy relationship looks like."

"Fuck you Zayn. What the fuck is your problem?" Louis demands.

"I don't have one. You're the one without a boyfriend or a back-up plan. I'm taken now." Zayn wiggles his eyebrows.

Louis' jaw drops a little. "Are you fucking shitting me right now?"

"Nope!" Zayn chirps. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Get out of my room!" Louis points to his door.

Zayn walks right up to him and plants a sloppy, wet kiss on Louis' lips. "Sweet dreams love." Zayn gives him a slap to the bum and leaves him alone in his room.

"What the fuck?!" Louis yells at the walls.

He grabs his lighter from his night stand and flicks it on and off as he paces his room wanting to light everything on fire.

He throws his lighter at his and Harry's armoire then grabs the duffle bag in the back of his closet that once housed all of Niall's client's weed.

He throws the duffle bag on his bed and empties the top two dresser drawers into it. He tosses in a couple supplement bottles, a phone charger, his toothbrush, and his pillow.

He throws it out into the hall and stalks down to Zayn's room.

He thrusts the door open without knocking and Zayn is looking carefree at his phone and giggling.

Louis shouts at him from the doorway. "Fuck you Zayn! You're a fucking dick. I'm going to Brisbane."

He slams the door behind him and picks up his duffle bag. He chucks it in his car and jams the keys in his ignition to start driving north.

~~~

Z

Zayn smiles to himself.

"He really left." Liam says atop his chest.

"Told you not to go far. It was time for him to get a fucking move on before the platypuses mistook his body for a corpse and started feeding on him." Zayn leans up to kiss him. "Thanks for that by the way."

"It was my pleasure." Liam blushes. "I just- not that I didn't doubt you. But I literally just sat in my car for five minutes. I don't think he even realized I was still parked in front of the house."

"Didn't plan for the phone call to you- but I'm glad it happened anyway." Zayn admits. "I'm glad you stuck around... for everything."

"Are you sure? I mean, I figured it was part of your ploy... so it's okay if you want to take it back. I know we've been keeping things simple between us and I don't want to complicate that if neither of us are ready for it." Liam says.

"Nah baby. I've been wanting to make you mine for a while now. I guess Louis helped me as much as I helped him tonight." Zayn kisses his nose.

"He doesn't realize it's going to be 5am when he shows up, does he?" Liam asks.

Zayn laughs. "He'll figure it out after driving for a few hours."

"Does he even have Harry's address?" Liam rolls off top of him.

"Yeah. Haz's sent him a few postcards here and there. He keeps them all shoved in his glove box." Zayn says.

"Why?" Liam asks.

"Dunno. He's weird like that." Zayn shrugs.

"They have a weird relationship." Liam sighs.

"Yeah they do." Zayn rolls back over on top of Liam. "Well... now that we have the house to ourselves for an unspecified amount of time, what do you say I mess up your make up again and we rip some more thigh highs?"

Liam shyly retracts his lips between his teeth, leaving a little red against the white. "I'd really like that."

Zayn growls as he dips down to ravish Liam again.

~~~

L

It's half after midnight and Louis is pulling over into a petrol station at Bonville Coffs Harbor.

He maybe should have thought this through better. He kicks his tire as the neon signs flash cheaply behind him. He pulls out the folded postcard from his pocket for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes. Not that he needs to. He's had the address memorized since the second the very first post card arrived in the mail.

He pulls out his phone to text Conner.

**I kind of left for Brisbane. I think I'll be back.**

Louis grimaces at himself.

Wow he's a fuck up.

No. He's fucked things up. But he, himself, Louis Tomlinson, is not a fuck up.

Louis is capable of having a healthy life and healthy relationships.

He debates back and forth a million times on if he should call Harry or not. He thinks Harry is probably asleep by now anyway. He wouldn't want to keep Harry up all night. Harry has to work tomorrow. It's a Wednesday night (well, Thursday morning) and Louis is driving for 10 hours through the night because he's fucked things up and wants to right them.

He doesn't know why he left.

Well. No. He _knows_ why he left. He just isn't sure why he decided to leave tonight.

He thinks it probably has to do with him being sick of choosing Zayn, because quite frankly, it's what he's always done and is most comfortable doing. Niall warned him about which way his decisions would lead him and he had ignored the heeding only for Zayn to finally choose Liam and leave Louis with a relationship he's forced to fix with Harry.

Zayn, again, is making healthier and stronger decisions for his life than Louis, and Louis relies too heavily on Zayn to help him get there too.

He thinks it has to do with Zayn being the final say in most things of Louis' life. As always, Zayn is just as much a part of Louis' identity as his self. He wonders if in the back of his mind he was waiting for Zayn to help him get here, because he couldn't do it by himself.

He wonders if Zayn knew he had to be the one push Louis out the door.

He flicks the unlit cigarette around in his fingers several times before lighting it. He finally succumbs, needing a little pick-me-up anyway. It's not like Harry doesn't know he's started smoking again. The text ages ago may as well have said, thanks for telling me you're smoking again asshole- glad to know you'd rather die than grow old with me.

The nicotine tastes sweet only to the chemicals in his brain, but tastes bitter to every other part of his body. He ends up stomping it out not even halfway through and tosses it into the ashtray.

He gets in his car again and drives to Harry.

~~~


	48. Chapter 47

  
A/N: Aaaannnnd here's the new one.

~~~

It's 5am and Louis is at the final destination. He would doubt that he's at the right spot- but sees Harry's Mulsanne parked in the driveway sticking out like a sore thumb amongst 20 and 30-year-old cars.

The neighborhood is only a few blocks away from the coast, but one of the more run down neighborhoods that has been here long before the big beach boom and real estate increase of the land.

Louis parks his Outback against the curb and decides he may as well just grab his duffle bag. He has no intent on leaving until he feels good about where he and Harry are at.

Louis marches right up to the door that Harry apparently resides behind, and knocks on the door a few times. He foregoes the doorbell for now, not wanting to be inconsiderate.

He knows Harry lives by himself in the top level of the rented beach house, but he remembers Harry saying that there was another lad who lived in the basement.

But it's been days since he's shaved, he's been driving all night, he's wearing his sweat pants and t-shirt that he normally lounges around in, this is taking too long, and Louis doesn't really care. So he rings the doorbell four or five times.

And a sixth time for good measure.

There's finally shuffling behind the door and a tall, lanky man with a thick accent opens the door. "Fookin hell mate. It's arse-o-clock and we don't take kindly to tweakers in these parts."

"I'm Louis Tomlinson." Louis states like he has some kind of authority.

The guy squints his eyes a little more. "You're who? Oh, wait- Harry's Louis?"

Damn straight, Louis thinks. "Yes. He hasn't already left for work has he?" Louis asks, knowing that sometimes he goes in before sunrise.

"Nah, I think he goes in a few hours. Dunno. Come in though." The man ushers him in.

Louis kicks off his shoes in the entrance and drops his duffle bag down. It's odd knowing every nook and cranny of a flat he's never seen anywhere other than from the screen of his phone, but every bit of it is familiar to Louis.

"His lady friend stayed over last night though, so dunno if he's preoccupied." The man says disinterestedly and leaves Louis alone at the foot of the stairs.

Louis figures it's Sadie and doesn't really know when Harry started having her stay nights, but tries not to let the petty jealousy get to him. It's not like Sadie is more than a holding place for Louis really, so he's not worried. Sadie is pretty much the farthest thing from Harry's type anyway, so again, there's no need for Louis to start panicking.

But he does anyway as he's alone in the entry way. He decides to just start walking and come up with a plan once he's up there. His heart thumps louder and louder with each step he takes up the stairs and it's like finally coming to the finish line of an eight-month race. It's like the few seconds before reaching the surface of water and it's only seconds until he can breathe again.

He hears shuffling, so he figures he won't be waking Harry up- well- not counting the fact that he probably did with the doorbell, but it's the same difference. Louis would want Harry waking him up at any time of the day, any day of the week to be with him. They belong together and nothing will change that.

Louis strides up the stairs to go claim back the part of his life and soul that he's been stupid enough to keep himself from for the last many months.

He opens the first door on the right and Harry is standing at the edge of his bed in nothing but tight black briefs, looking at Sadie who is in one of Harry's tank tops.

His head snaps to the door at Louis' entrance, and Louis realizes he has completely just walked in on and invaded Harry's life. It bothers Louis that it feels foreign. Louis should feel 100 percent comfortable walking in on any part of Harry's life at any given moment.

Though he figures he is the one to blame for the space he's put between them and their relationship. Even though Harry is the one that initially asked for space, Louis knows he took it too far and it turned into more than that.

Harry stares open mouthed at Louis, and Louis stares back at Harry. Harry who has grown more than just a few centimeters, significantly bulked up in muscle and grown into his body, has curly hair down to his shoulders, and is tanned like he lives on the beach.

"Oh my God." Louis says.

He thinks he might be salivating. Everything is his brain is wiped and gone.

Useless. His neurons are useless.

"Louis." Harry says in disbelief, still frozen and halfway leaned over onto the bed.

Louis doesn't really care about anything but Harry at the moment. Sadie can go to hell for all he cares. He's overwhelmed with the need for Harry like he's never felt before. He suddenly intimately understands Perry and his immediate need to latch onto Harry and touch everywhere possible the moment Harry shown up at the Platitat until the energy runs dry.

He all but runs up to Harry and grabs him tightly for a passionate kiss, trying to touch every centimeter of this completely new and morphed body that his boyfriend has grown into. Harry's hands instantly wrap around Louis' waist and squeeze his bum.

Louis presses his body as close as he can to Harry and Harry's realigning his stance so that he can get one of Louis' thighs between his legs. A hand leaves Louis' arse, and he opens his eyes to see that Harry's waving manically behind his back, presumably telling Sadie to leave.

Sadie stumbles out of the bed in Harry's tank and cute little light blue underwear with clouds on them and grabs a pair of Harry's (actually Louis'- _that's_ where that pair went) sweat pants and runs out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Harry smells permanently like the ocean water and it's fantastic. Everything under Louis' fingertips feels new and he can't believe it's Harry. Everywhere he touches is foreign. Louis has to tilt his head up to kiss Harry and it's completely different. Harry's curls brush against different parts of Louis' face, and Harry just has so much skin and so much body to touch.

Despite all the changes, the one thing that remains the same is that Louis finally feels _home_ again. It's like life has just been injected into his veins and his heart shot full of potassium- so full that he thinks it just may stop.

Their mouths aggressively and desperately move against the others; tongues tangling together without any mercy. Harry's hand resumes its rightful place on Louis' arse and he pulls Louis impossibly close to his body, rubbing his very hard erection against Louis' thigh.

Louis is torn between shoving Harry onto the bed and loving him harshly and fiercely, or letting Harry do the same to him. He doesn't know where they're at anymore. It's like they have to resync with each other, so he lets Harry rut against him as they reacquaint.

Harry's lips are better than anything Louis remembers. Feeling him is like handling tangible magic and makes his mind's eye explode with thousands of colors. Louis doesn't even remember that he's standing on solid ground because his body feels like it's thousands of kilometers away in the ocean away from drama and problems. He feels like that night that he and Harry got drunk off of champagne and each other and he just wants more and more and more.

He pulls away to breathe heavily into Harry's mouth, his hands not stopping their groping of Harry's body. "Fucking hell Harry. _Harry_. Haz, _Hazza_ , shit."

" _Louis_ -" Harry says desperately, "Touch me- God, don't stop touching me. _Please_."

The path has been laid out, and Louis is ready- so fucking ready- to do this again.

Harry is. Harry his everything.

Louis kisses him as he lays him out on the bed and places a dozen kisses from Harry's dimples to the divots at his temples. "Fucking missed you- your face- your eyes- my _hell_..." Louis mumbles against his skin.

"Louis, oh my God, Louis." Harry whimpers.

Louis' hands never stop exploring the new lengths of Harry's body and touching like his life depends on it, because in this moment, it really does.

"You're here. Lou, you're here." Harry says between kisses on his lips.

Louis then goes for Harry's neck- his beautiful, perfect, erotic neck- and sucks as many soft, small love bites into it as he can. "Yeah baby. I'm here. I'm here for you."

By the time Louis' mouth makes it down to Harry's groin, his briefs have long been discarded and Harry is a whimpering mess.

"Please, just- shit- _please_ Lou. I can't- I need you now." Harry pleads.

Louis acquiesces as he takes Harry into his mouth. It's quick and dirty and Louis roughly palms himself while he moans around Harry.

"Louis, Louis! Fuck- Louis!" Harry moans out.

Louis feels his whole body light up on fire as his orgasm hits him and he comes in his sweatpants with Harry's cock in his mouth. His jaw goes slack as he lets out a high pitched moan.

Harry thrusts up barely a centimeter then releases into the back of Louis' throat with a last groan.

Louis hungrily swallows half of it as he pulls off of Harry. The other half he lets drip off of his tongue as he drags it along the lines of Harry's defined abs. He digs his fingers into the sides of Harry's ribcage as he tastes the blend of Harry smeared all over his salty skin.

Louis feels like he's probably having sex with the personified version of an ocean god.

He drags his nails down the length of Harry's side, making sure to dig in hard enough to leave raised red tracks in their wake. He presses his ever-dampening crotch against Harry's as he leans forward to kiss Harry's plush lips again.

This. This is what he lives for.

And it's more than just the sex. It's everything Harry. Everything that Harry adds to Louis' life. The way Louis feels like a better, more whole person with Harry. This is what Louis needed the whole time but was too fucking scared to deal with for fear of losing it.

But now, there's nothing in the world that could tear Louis from Harry. He was a blind fool for too long; but his eyes have finally been opened again, and he's not about to make the same idiotic mistake twice.

However, there is something he's interested in doing for a second time.

"So fucking hot. So." Louis nips at his lips. "Fucking." Louis nibbles along his jawbone up to his ear. "Hot." Louis gives a gentle tug to his earlobe. "Shit, I love you."

"Holy God I missed you." Harry sobs.

"Missed you more." Louis traces the lines of Harry's ear with his tongue.

"Are you- can we- I-" Harry grinds upward into Louis, already interested in a round two.

"Yeah." Louis breathes into his ear. "I'm already hard again."

"Fuck, I love you." Harry whispers.

"I love you more." Louis drags his tongue along the raised, ridged column of Harry's neck.

 _Fuck_ he loves Harry's body.

Harry groans and then secures his arms around Louis to flip their places. Harry's on top of Louis now, and Harry's demeanor goes dark. Dark and depraved.

Louis' mouth opens a little bit, not sure what to anticipate from Harry.

Harry threads a hand up into Louis' hair to tilt his head. He dips down to whisper in Louis' ear. "Tell me if I hurt you."

Louis' entire body erupts in goosebumps and next thing he knows, Harry is assaulting his neck with not much more than teeth.

Harry lets his fingers dig into Louis' hip rougher than normal, and his hair is being pulled down into the bed.

And for the first time really, Louis fucking loves it.

Harry's just. He's manhandling Louis into the mattress and Louis lets himself surrender completely to it.

It's everything good, and every bit of eight physical months of distanced angst, and everything Harry; and every bit of how Harry is touching Louis reminds Louis exactly who he's with and all the reasons why. He hopes his neck ends up dark purple and he hopes he can feel it for days.

Harry gives his hair one last hard tug for good measure before moving a hand to his nipple and pinching harshly. Louis moans through it and Harry moves his mouth to work over the other one. The rawness and wetness has Louis getting impatient for his second climax, so he pulls Harry's hips down to meet his.

Harry yanks Louis' damp sweatpants and briefs down and Louis really hopes he's not accidentally wearing Liam's Batman briefs again. He's about to burst out into inappropriate laughter at the memory, but then Harry throws the briefs somewhere in the room and shoves two fingers in his own mouth before trailing them up Louis' legs, and he's not interested in laughing anymore.

"Jesus Hazza-" Louis groans out.

He hasn't touched himself there in ages. Specifically, since the last time Harry's been down there. As feisty as their phone sex got, Louis was never into inserting objects into himself. Especially not since the vibrator incident with Zayn.

So it definitely burns, but it burns in a pleasuring way, and Harry takes him into his mouth all the meanwhile.

"Shit, feels so good." Louis mumbles because his brain is up and leaving his body. "So good."

Another finger goes in alongside the first sooner than Louis would normally anticipate, and it has Louis gasping for air.

Harry uses his other hand to cover the part of Louis' length that his mouth can't reach and tugs at him like he's desperate for it.

"Haz, fuck, fuck, Haz-!" The pain and pleasure rushes through Louis' body and Harry sucks it out of him like he's starved for it.

Louis' body is numb and tingly as he comes down from his orgasm. Once he's able to pry his eyelids open again, he sees Harry up on his knees, straddling Louis with his staggering height, tanned and toned body, with a hand gripping Louis' hip while the other voraciously tugs at his own straining cock.

Harry pants and moans louder and louder until he comes across Louis' torso. Louis feels buzzed and high and completely spacy because he hasn't slept in 24 hours and now he's just come twice with his boyfriend whom he hasn't seen in eight months and it's an emotional and physical overload of everything great.

Harry rubs his thumb into the pool of liquid on Louis' abdomen, then smears some against Louis' dark red nipple. Louis lets out a pathetic whimper.

Harry's lips press against his own and it's still urgent, but this time less frantic.

"I missed you so fucking much." Harry says.

"I'm so sorry I'm an asshole." Louis says with all the coherency he can muster.

"I'm sorry I thought it would be a good idea to have a long distance relationship." Harry says.

"I brought my duffle. Handcuff me and keep me here forever please. I'm never letting you more than two meters away from me ever again." Louis turns them both to their sides and hitches one of Harry's legs on his hips.

"Yes. Please." Harry kisses him softly on the lips.

"Anything for you. I swear. Anything Haz. I'm yours." Louis says without any hint of doubt.

"I hope you brought lube. I think I'm going to keep you in bed all day." Harry says lowly, and _shit_. Harry's voice is exactly the same as when Louis met him a year ago and eight months ago, but there's just something more that makes it sounds so damn sultry. It's probably just his freakish growth spurt into some ethereal nymph that's got Louis hot and bothered in a way that's new.

"We do have eight months to make up for." Louis whispers.

"Fuck." Harry brushes Louis' damp fringe from his forehead. "You look so good Lou." He thumbs along Louis' beard that's grown out for more than a few days. "So good."

"What are you talking about? What happened to _you_?" Louis trails the tops of his nails along Harry's side and up to his hair. "You look so different. So much older."

Harry smiles. "Glad to finally confirm that you don't have an infantile kink."

"Oh shut up you twat. You looked far from a child when we met. You just look hella hung and fit now." Louis gives him an appreciative sweep with his eyes.

Harry, the smug bastard, bites his lip like he knows it. "Glad I'm finally on the same attraction level as you."

Louis snorts. "Fuck that. You're kilometers above me now. Ions above Zayn even. Good God."

Harry's face falls from playful into something more soft. "How are things then? I haven't... heard from you in a while."

Louis' stomach knots up with guilt as it rightfully should. Louis deserves to feel heaps of guilt. "Yeah I just... had a bit of sorting out to do obviously. I'm sorry for doing what I did to you- all of it."

"Hey, like you've told me hundreds of times, there's no need to apologize. We're just growing and learning together. It's okay." Harry says.

Louis shakes his head. "Haz you deserve better than a long distance boyfriend who cheats on you and neglects and lies to you."

"Well it's a good thing you're here then. And not cheating or neglecting or lying to me." Harry grins deviously.

Louis rolls his eyes fondly. "Don't be a dolt and please accept my apology. I do owe you a proper one for the lying and cheating."

Harry shrugs. "It happens. Doesn't change my love or trust for you."

Louis laughs lightly, wondering how things are still so simple and optimistic for Harry.

"What um, changed though?" Harry asks. "Like, why are you here?"

"Well it started when I ran into Liam dressed as a hooker in our hallway." Louis says.

Harry bursts out into laughter that fills the whole bedroom. "Oh shut up."

Louis sits up straight. "I'm not shitting you! He was wearing bright red lipstick and a long brunette wig. Tight black leggings and red high heels."

Harry's jaw drops. "Oh my gosh, _no_."

"Yeah." Louis says, pleased that he's finally gotten Harry to understand. "So he leaves our flat and I go back into my room to try and bleach my brain. Then Zayn comes in and starts talking some proper shit to me about being a terrible boyfriend... which I suppose isn't really shit since I _am_ a terrible boyfriend-"

"You're _not_ a terrible boyfriend." Harry strokes along Louis' arm.

"Well anyway, he started telling me about healthy relationships, so I got on his case for not practicing what he was preaching, then he- he calls Liam right then and there on my bed and asks him out properly." Louis waits for the reaction.

"Wait, Zayn- they're dating? Like exclusively?" Harry's face lights up like it's the best news of his day.

"Yeah!" Louis nods emphatically. "So then he leaves me to just think about what a fuck up I've been and I just- I just really needed to come make things right. You're worth it Harry. You're worth fixing everything for. I'd drive 10 hours every day to be able to see you for only an hour."

"That's only because I give great head." Harry says slyly.

"I mean, that definitely doesn't hurt your case." Louis nuzzles into Harry's face.

"Speaking of... I didn't hurt you, did I?" Harry pulls away to assess Louis.

"Yes, but it was... good. Probably wouldn't enjoy anything much rougher than that- _yet_ \- but it was good. I liked it." Louis says, pleased with himself.

Harry grins. "Okay. I-"

The silence is broken by Harry's alarm and Louis jerks in surprise. Harry chuckles and reaches over to grab his phone and silence it.

"Yeah, sorry about randomly showing up like, on a Thursday morning." Louis rolls onto his back not feeling sorry about it at all.

"You can show up any day at any time. Hang on one sec though." Harry dials a number then holds his phone to his ear.

Louis watches him suspiciously, holding his knees to his chest.

"Hey Sierra? Yeah, I'm calling in sick till next..." Harry looks at Louis. Louis shrugs, letting Harry know he very literally has no time frame. "...Till I run out of sick days."

Louis laughs.

"Uh huh, really sick. Like pneumonia or something, I dunno. I could cough if it would make you believe me." Harry grins unabashedly.

"Yeah I guarantee I'll be in bed and ingesting plenty of fluids." Harry wiggles his eyebrows at Louis.

Louis lets his forehead fall against his knees and chuckles.

"Thanks Sez. See you Tuesday then." Harry hangs up and tackles Louis to the bed in a bear hug. "God, now I can think clearly. I'm so- I just-" Harry cuts himself off by burying his face into Louis' neck and kissing him a dozen times.

Louis yawns. "Haz?"

"Hmm?" Harry hums into his ear.

"Can we continue this after a nap?" Louis feels like his body's been tumbled on heavy duty in a drying machine and he's warm and exhausted and ready to be done.

"Yeah, jeez babe. Sorry. Forgot you've been driving all night you crazy." Harry laughs and pulls the giant white duvet over Louis' body.

"The hell do you think you're going?" Louis grabs Harry with all the strength he has left and pulls him onto the bed next to him.

"Was gonna do errands then go on a run. I can't possibly sit still while you're sleeping in my bed." Harry nips at Louis' nose.

"After I fall asleep. C'mere." Louis positions himself on top of Harry's chest, not caring that there's still a puddle of liquids dripping between the two. He's too tired to be arsed to care.

Harry laughs and it's a low rumble in his chest and Louis can feel it in his entire body. If he weren't so damn tired, he would certainly be aroused. Though that's not saying much because his entire body is on full arousal now that he's with Harry. It's fucking invigorating and exciting and Louis kind of can't wait for a weekend filled with the most wonderful person in the entire world.

Out of all the things, Louis is certainly glad that the sex hasn't changed between them- at least not based off of their most current encounter. He's glad because it's one of the most intimate things he's trusted Harry with and it's one of the things he had possibly fucked up the most with him.

Luckily, Harry is understanding and fucked up in his own way enough to be able to forgive Louis. Louis just hopes that everything else will end up okay between them. He hopes this isn't the proverbial calm before the storm.

With that thought, he falls asleep to the rhythmic rise and fall of Harry's chest.

~~~


	49. Chapter 48

 

                     
~~~

When Louis wakes up, he wonders if it was all just a dream. 

The open window and billowy drapes rustling along with the sound of the ocean and smell of brine tells him that it was very much not a dream.

Louis rolls over in the duvet that dwarfs him, blessing Harry's insanely fluffy pillows and fluffy white bed.  It's light out, but he has no idea how long he slept.

He grabs his phone and sees that it's one in the afternoon.  He shoots off a text to Zayn, letting him know he got here safely, and then calls Harry. 

Harry answers after the first ring.  "Morning gorgeous."

"Where are you?"  Louis' voice cracks and sounds just as needy as the question is intended.

"Just about home.  I'll see you in a second."  Harry chuckles.

Louis grunts before hanging up the phone and rolling onto his stomach again to press his not-so-morning-wood into the mattress.  His body feels like it's been jump shocked with a defibrillator (yes he _does_ know what that feels like) and it's like that moment when his heart and veins reset into a different kind of rhythm.  One that's different, but it's still a part of him.  It's the feeling that his body is rewiring itself.

The front door opens and shuts downstairs and then there's agile footsteps making their way up the stairs.  The bedroom door opens and Harry's in _tight_ fucking spandex bike shorts that don't leave anything to the imagination and his hair is up in a fucking bun like he invented it.  Harry's quad muscles look stupid and his abs and chiseled face are stupid and his tan is fucking stupid.

"Christ, why the fuck do you exist?"  Louis moans, rolling onto his back again.

Harry bounces onto the bed and kicks off his trainers.  "Sleep well?"

"Yes.  If I swear we'll talk after, can we have sex?"  Louis asks without remorse. 

Louis has priorities, but his body does as well, and he's only going to get extremely wound up if he doesn't give into his screaming appetite for more Harry.  He 100 percent forgot how much his sex drive demands emotionally when it comes to Harry.

Harry laughs and straddles Louis.  "I've no gripes against that.  How do you want it, hmm?"

Harry's stupid man body that's full of bulging muscles and sweat and veins make Louis' mouth run dry. 

"Fuck me slowly- fuck me fast- fuck me however you want."  Louis says undecidedly, letting his head fall back on the pillow and feeling infinitely grateful that he still gets to do this with Harry.

Harry slithers a hand into his shorts and the other around Louis then leans down to kiss him.  "Feeling submissive are we?"

God, yes, sure, Louis has _no_ problem with that. 

He nods dumbly.

Harry bites Louis' lower lip and Louis lets Harry take control.

~~~

Louis is in the bathtub feeling blissed out while Harry lathers his back with a loofa. 

"How you feeling babe?"  Harry asks.

"Tired."  Louis says lightly.  "I think I'm old.  I'm tired on the outside but energetic on the inside."

"You'll be fine after some coffee."  Harry gives his wet shoulder a peck.  "I may have accidentally picked up your terrible habit of coffee drinking after I realized how much I missed the smell of it in the mornings.  Reminds me of you."

That's really sweet, is the thing.  It's sweet, but...

"I'm old."  Louis repeats again into the porcelain side of the tub.

"If you're trying to turn me on, you're doing a great job at it."  Harry licks up the side of Louis' neck.

"Why do you like old men?  It's like saggy skin and aftershave and they probably have hardly a gram of the endurance that you do."  Louis says.

"The aftershave is the best part."  Harry chuckles, a curl falling out of his bun and tickling the side of Louis' face as he gets another kiss to the cheek.  "The skin isn't saggy because the men I were with had enough time and money to look well kempt- it's not like they were elderly."

Louis snorts.  "65 is considered elderly, Harold." 

Harry laughs.  "Okay, one was 65, but he looked 30.  Also, the endurance isn't an issue.  What they lack physically they compensate with mentally and that's really hot."

"Why though?"  Louis asks.

"I dunno."  Harry dips Louis' head backward and scrubs shampoo into his scalp.  "Same reason some people prefer blondes over brunettes; and I knew I had game with them."

Louis moans at Harry's fingernails in his skin.  "I don't have a type I don't think." 

"Sure you do.  You like guys that can handle you emotionally."  Harry dips him backward to rinse his hair out.

Louis guesses that's right- not that he ever took the time to analyze it.  He hoped that Mark could be emotionally strong enough for him, but Louis never got to that point of trusting him that much.  Zayn and Harry, however, he definitely trusts to be able to carry him emotionally.

Louis closes his eyes as Harry massages conditioner into his hair now.  "Have you always been attracted to older men?  Or did it start after..."

"After I got roofied?"  Harry supplies.

Sure.  If that's how Harry chooses to recall the incident.

"Yeah.  Is that when it happened?"  Louis asks.

"I dunno.  I never had any parameters around who I thought was attractive- except for girls.  I've never been attracted to girls.  I think they're beautiful, but not in the way I think men are."  Harry pauses.  "I don't know.  I always thought my dad was really handsome and just spent a lot of time around and looking at other men like him, you know?" 

"How old is your dad by the way?"  Louis asks.  He never actually managed to figure that out.

"He just turned 40 the other day actually.  I called him for his birthday."  Harry squirts more soap into his hands, but Louis swivels around sloshing some water over the brim and flicking Harry with drops of water from his fringe.

"Your dad is nine years and some odd months older than me?"  Louis gapes.  "Wait, how old were your parents when they had Gemma?"

"My mum had Gemma when she was 16 I think.  Then they had me after they got married a few years later."  Harry turns Louis around so he can massage soap into his skin, which is fine with Louis.  He shouldn't have turned around in the first place.

"So the company your dad owns is actually your grandfathers or sommat?"  Louis asks.

"Nope.  My dad built it himself.  We were really poor when I was a kid and my dad got a lucky break and met the right people.  I was 12 when he got really wealthy and we moved into the house we live in now."  Harry says.

"Oh."  Louis says dumbly.  "Why didn't you tell me this before?"  Louis kind of assumed Harry told him everything big and important that first night after Blue Grounds, but apparently not.

Harry shrugs.  "It's not that important."  He lets his hands slide around to rub Louis' chest, pressing his own into Louis' back.  "So what do you want to do today babe?"

Louis feels... coddled and taken care of.  He really should be doing the same to Harry he thinks, since he's supposed to be here wooing Harry back into his affections, but if there's one thing Louis' learned, it's that life never goes as planned, and he's okay with that.

"I should probably eat.  Know of any good restaurants?"  Louis asks.  "And we need to talk- somewhere that's not the bedroom because I don't have the self-control for that."

"I know of a shack on the pier that serves incredible clam chowder bread bowls."  Harry rubs Louis' nipples between his index finger and thumb.  "We can go right now if you want."

"Well fuck breakfast if you're up for another round."  Louis stretches his arms behind him and folds them behind Harry's neck because not only does he need more of Harry; but he thinks ignorance is bliss for the moments he doesn't have to deal with the consequences of the damage he's done to their relationship yet.

"I thought you were tired."  Harry muses into his ear.

"I compensate mentally and whatnot."  Louis grins.  "The flesh is weak but the spirit is willing." 

Harry barks out in laughter.  "You used that completely out of context, but I'll let it slide."

"Good.  Now carry me to the bed since I probably couldn't pick you up if I tried."  Louis spins around and wraps his arms and legs around Harry.  "But I'm in control this time.  Want you to ride me."

"You're always in control."  Harry gives him the sweetest kiss to his nose, then stands with Louis wrapped around him and the water sloshes over the sides again. 

The tub stays filled and they drip water all the way to the bed.  Louis' skin sticks to the sheets as water continues to roll off their bodies and onto the cotton.

~~~

The ocean crashes its salted waves against the muscle covered wood that holds the pier up.  There are seagulls badgering them for food, and a herd of sea lions bark under the wharf.  The smell of brine fills their nostrils so heavily that they can taste it on the backs of their tongues.

Harry walks towards the wooden picnic table Louis chose- the one with the least amount of pelican poop- balancing two bread bowls and glasses of water.  His long black pea coat that looks like it's out of a fashion magazine sways behind him in the breeze and his hair is knotted up in a bun again.  He sets the food down and sits next to Louis.

Louis gives him a peck to the lips.  "Thanks love."

"Sorry it took so long.  They got my order wrong twice, so I made them redo it until they got it right."  Harry takes a sip of his water.  "Hope you like it."

Louis gives him a small smile.  "I know I will.  I haven't had clam chowder in forever.  It breaks like, six dietary restrictions."  Louis rips a piece of sourdough bread up and dips it in the steaming soup.

"Oh fuck, I forgot.  Sorry, it's been so long and it's been just me..."  Harry looks worriedly at Louis.

Louis decidedly gives Harry the first bite of his bread to stop Harry from talking.  "Shush.  What is life if I can't enjoy it with the one I love?"

Harry smiles and there's a little soup on his lips from being unprepared to eat the bread, so Louis wipes it off with his thumb.  Harry holds Louis' wrist and after swallowing his mouthful takes Louis' thumb into his mouth to suck the soup off of it.

Louis chuckles.  "We really should probably not be in public right now."

Harry lets Louis' finger out of his mouth with a pop and grins.  "Who the fuck cares?"

Louis rolls his eyes.  "It's just good societal etiquette young one."

Harry gives Louis a kiss to the lips and Louis kisses him back because fuck it all; he has his boyfriend by his side and he's in Brisbane.

Harry finally breaks away and then gives Louis the first bite of his bread bowl. 

Louis savors the taste because, holy shit.  "This is mad."

"Glad you like it."  Harry smiles.

Louis is silent for the next couple minutes, mostly because he's just tasted actual heaven and can't eat fast enough.  It's lovely and relaxing though.  Harry's curls are gathered back and his face looks beautiful contrasted against the blue sky and white clouds.

Louis finishes his meal before he realizes it and picks at the seam of his pants as he sips on the straw of his drink, just enjoying the atmosphere.

Harry gets up again though, and gives Louis a kiss to the cheek.  "Be right back."

Louis maybe thinks about stealing a few bites of Harry's clam chowder while he's gone.

He maybe does.  Maybe.  But he doesn't feel bad about it.

Harry returns back a couple minutes later though with another bread bowl and laughs when he catches Louis hurriedly shoving bread into his mouth.

"Here, have the new one.  All yours."  Harry sets it in front of him and it looks fucking fantastic.

"God, I feel fat.  This is delicious though.  I just- it's really good."  Louis doesn't waste any more time saying senseless things and eats.  Slower this time though, and he just really loves clam chowder and Harry.

Harry's finished, and Louis pushes the plate to the middle of them to share because he probably can't finish this all by himself.

He wipes his hands off and opts for using the fork now that he is composed enough to eat like someone who has manners above that of a Neanderthal.

"So, I slept with Zayn."  Louis already wants to jump over the pier railing and into the ocean.

Harry turns his head slowly, looking like he's digesting the fact that they're about to have this conversation.  "You did."

"You can yell at me if you want."  Louis says looking down at his lap.

Harry gives him a sad smile.  "If there's anything you and Zayn have taught me, it's that over reacting doesn't get you anywhere."

Louis bites at his lip.  "I'm sorry Haz."

"It's fine.  I was a bit upset at first because I- I just didn't understand.  But it wasn't about me, you know?  It was about you and Zayn."  Harry says.

Louis nods.  "I'm sorry about lying about smoking too."

"It's fine Lou.  It happens.  I honestly was more upset that you wouldn't talk to me after my birthday."  Harry says.  "Actually I take that back, I'm still pretty upset over that." 

Louis looks up to Harry who has his jaw is set in a hard line and has a hand tensed around the plastic cutlery. 

He doesn't know why he never thought to apologize for this particular offense.  Probably because he never thought of it as something to apologize for.

"Sorry."  He mumbles.  "I just thought I was doing what was best for us.  You said you wanted a little space."

Harry's lip twitches.  "A one-way, long-distance, half-relationship that consists of nothing more than a half-arsed 'love you, goodnight' text was doing what was best?  That's only _'a little'_ to you?"

"I was scared Harry."  Louis says a little more confidently.  "I was scared because you've changed my entire life.  It used to just be about me and Zayn.  I had my whole life mapped out and within arm's reach of myself.  I've never had a fucking boyfriend that I love the way I love you Harry.  I've never had to live apart from those I love.  I've never had to feel like I'm choosing between one person or the other.  How am I supposed to make a choice like that?  So I just went back to what I know and put you on hold until I could figure out what the hell I was doing."

Harry's chest visibly expands and contracts with his breathing under the black pea coat.  "So what did you figure out?"

"I figured out that I want to choose you.  Above anything and everything else.  You're my future Harry."  Louis says meekly.

"Well I'm glad that you've finally figured that out."  Harry sets the fork down to the plate.  "Because do you have any fucking idea what _I've_ been through while you've been off doing whatever the hell fits within your comfort zone?"

Harry is silent and waiting for an answer, so Louis just shakes his head, because he doesn't have a clue what Harry's had to go through.  He assumed it was all pots of gold and rainbows for Harry up here.

"I firstly had to rely on my father because he's the only person who even called me anymore.  He's been kind enough to give a shit about my life and finally is asking me personal questions.  Do you know what it was like to have your father call you and ask about your boyfriend for the first time in your entire life, and the only thing you can even tell him is that you haven't heard from him in months?"  Harry's voice strains.

Louis shakes his head.

Harry continues on.  "Gemma's only been allowed to call me _once_.  My mom still thinks I worship Satan, so all I had to rely on was a mending relationship with my father, and even then, those conversations only happened maybe once every three weeks if I was lucky.  So thank God for Sadie.  She's the only one who's kept me from puncturing my oxygen tank every time I go scuba diving." 

Louis stays silent because he deserves to feel guilty about this and he knows there's more Harry hasn't said.

"Oh and those are the happy parts.  That's after I had to have a late graduation because I failed my senior project.  That's after I killed one of the rehab dolphins because I fucked up the medicine and almost lost the entire internship.  That's after the homophobe at my job got fired because they finally stopped putting up with his degrading harassment towards me.  That's after someone stole my fucking _car_ at work one day and I had to bike or hitchhike everywhere for a week until the police could find it.  That's after I had to call _Zayn_ for consolation over having a hard time with a long distance relationship."  Harry grits out.

Louis has... he's missed out on a lot.  He wishes more than anything that he would have picked up any one of those phone calls that came twice a day. 

Harry... Harry _needed_ Louis, and Louis wasn't there for him.  He was too busy being selfish and having simple fucking problems and not thinking about Harry's.  He was too caught up in himself to even _realize_ that Harry was having problems because his first month in Brisbane had gone so smoothly that Louis just assumed it's how the rest of his time would go.

There isn't really anything at this point that Louis thinks could begin to cover his apology.

"So I don't really care that you started smoking again.  I don't really care that you slept with Zayn.  I do care that you've missed out on so much of my life because you were scared."  Harry's hard face falls into something much softer.  " _I_ was scared.  I needed you and you weren't there." 

Louis doesn't even want to swat the fly that's just landed on his arm.  He wants to stay as still and small as possible and wrap himself in a body bag with chains and hurl himself over the cliff of Château d'If. 

"I just really missed you Louis.  And I thought you were going to be there for me no matter what.  Through the shit times and the good ones, you know?"  Harry's eyes gloss over a little bit, and Louis finds that his own throat is constricting.

"Yeah I- I want to.  I'm so sorry I fucked up Harry.  I wish-" Louis shakily exhales, "I wish more than anything that I could go back and change that.  I'm so- I'm such an idiot.  I'm so sorry.  I want to be there through everything with you Harry."

"Really?"  Harry asks brokenly.

Louis _hates_ that Harry even has to ask that.

He looks upward at the blue sky to keep his own eyes dry, then grabs both of Harry's hands and looks him straight in the eye.  "Yes love.  Forever.  If you'll forgive my stupidity, I can promise you I won't make the same mistakes again.  I'll be there for you through all of it.  You'll never have to worry about me being with anyone else because I'm going to choose you first and only you every time.  I swear it."

Harry shakes his head lightly.  "Don't make promises you can't keep... It's okay if I'm not first every time- like, you still need to be your own person like with your career and hobbies and things.  I just care that we'll both be there for each other to come home to every day."

"Is that what you want then?  Do you want me to stay in Brisbane with you until your internship ends?"  Louis offers squeezing Harry's hands tightly to let him know that he means it.

"You'd be willing to do that?"  Harry wipes the corner of his eye with the back of his wrist.

"Of course love.  Anything."  Louis says instantly.

Harry exhales to calm his breathing.  "No, I- I don't think that's the right answer.  I want you to still have your job and such.  It's really important to you.  And I want to live in Sydney with you when I'm done."

"You want to come back and live with me and Zayn again?"  Louis' heart fills to the brim with hope and love because he thinks Harry is the best thing to ever happen to him, and he was scared he was about to lose him.

Harry nods.  "I mean, probably not _with_ Zayn, just because... yeah.  I don't know- what do you think?"

Louis nods in understanding.  "As long as I have you Hazza, I don't care.  We could live up here, we could live in Penrith so that you're close to your family, we can live in Sydney."

Louis will admit, it's extremely foreign to think of him living anywhere but the flat he has now because it's _his_ flat.  Well, his and Zayn's- and even Harry's too.  Even though Harry was only there for several months, it was more than enough for him to permanently leave his memories in every corner of the house. 

But anywhere with Harry is the best thing Louis can think of, so he really does mean it when he says he would live in any city.

"I think Sydney because it makes the most sense.  You can stay at Taronga and I can be close to the harbors and- and, there's this rehab center in Sydney that works closely with the one I'm with right now, and I've talked to them a few times and they really like me and they said they'd be willing to interview me once I'm done here."  Harry grins brightly.  "I've been really excited to tell you about it."

"That's- that's so wonderful Haz.  You're absolutely amazing."  Louis leans forward and gathers Harry into his arms.  Harry who looks and feels older and different, but loves Louis with the same huge heart.

Harry chuckles lightly.  "I don't even know if they'll have me yet.  It's still a couple months out."

"I don't care, I still think you're the most amazing person on this planet."  Louis gives him a peck to the lips.

Harry blushes, and really, Louis' just kind of had it.  So he leans in to kiss Harry a little longer this time.

When he pulls away, Harry gives him a smug look and snubs his nose up.  "It's not polite social etiquette to snog in public."

Louis laughs into a hug.  "Don't be a tosser."

"I am by way of my sexual preferences."  Harry says suggestively.

"Oh my God.  You're too much."  Louis gives him a soft kiss to the neck and pulls away.

"Ready to go home then?"  Harry asks.

"I thought you'd never ask."  Louis bites back a grin and fails.

"What are we waiting for?"  Harry takes Louis by the hand to lead them both home.

~~~


	50. Chapter 49

A/N: Harry appreciation collage ^_^   
                   
~~~

The next day Harry takes Louis around Brisbane to show him every coffee shop he's ever been in and thought of Louis at.  He pressures Louis into getting a coffee at each coffee shop up until the fourth one and Louis is antsy and jittery as fuck from the intense amounts of caffeine.

Apparently Harry _heavily_ drinks coffee now too though, so Harry helps him finish them off.

By the time they're at the fifth coffee house, Louis puts a stop to it for fear of his body going into shock.

"Fine, if you're not getting one, then I'll just get one and make you try a sip."  Harry says.

Louis' hands twitch in Harry's.  "God, please no.  The coffee's wonderful, but I'm like, two seconds away from shitting my bowels out and then fucking your brains out."

Harry lifts his eyebrows.  "That's quite grotesque of you on both fronts."

"I'm just saying it's too early and my stomach is too empty for this."  Louis thinks he might feel slightly nauseous as Harry's cup of coffee slides to him from behind the counter.

"It's the afternoon!"  Harry exclaims, grabbing his cup of coffee.  "I made you breakfast and lunch between our extracurricular activities.  You should be stuffed."

"How am I supposed to stay stuffed when my metabolism is all burned up within minutes after eating?"  Louis opens the door to the exit, grateful as ever for the fresh air.

"It's not my fault you've deprived yourself eight months of fantastic sex."  Harry jests.

Louis laughs because it's okay now to joke about it.  "Sorry for sorely underestimating my mental strength.  I went 29 years without being sex crazed.  I thought it would go away once you left."

"Is my love your drug, Louis?"  Harry teases.  "Do you need me to sleep at night?"

"More like your cock is my drug, Jesus."  Louis rolls his eyes.

"Here, taste this one.  It's so good."  Harry holds the cup out to Louis.

Louis instantly jumps back.  "No!  Please, no."

"Please yes?"  Harry pulls out the puppy dog eyes.  "This is the coffee house I went to when I was missing Perry really badly.  I was sitting there at one of the tables and saw a little girl trip and fall on her face out one of the windows.  It reminded me of that one time I watched you buy that little girl a snickerdoodle at the Beastro.  The coffee is even snickerdoodle flavored.  It was _destiny_."

Louis shakes his hands out in preparation.  "Alright give it here."

He takes the coffee and takes two generous sips.  It's rather sugary and really tasty, but Louis still forcibly makes himself not gag on it.  He hands it back to Harry wordlessly.

"See, wasn't it worth it?"  Harry coos.

Louis purses his lips and nods, ignoring the churning in his stomach.  "Absolutely.  Tastes like nostalgia and warm fuzzies."

Harry laughs heartily.  "Are you ready for some bomb ass crab then?"

Louis shakes his head.  "I'm imploding with coffee.  Give that some time to digest out then we can eat some more."

"To the beach it is!"  Harry announces.

"Oh jeez."  Louis exhales methodically to push his queasiness aside.

He gets tugged by the hand down to the beach where there are many families playing on the beach with their kids.  They spend some time lazing in the sun, though Harry certainly doesn't need any more of that.  Louis however, could definitely go for a little bit of sun.

After they're too sweaty to lay still anymore, they run hand-in-hand into the ocean and take turns dunking each other under the waves and pushing each other around.  Louis shrieks and jumps up onto Harry when he steps on a crab.  Harry runs with Louis' legs wrapped around his waist back to the safety of the shore and they're both laughing and screaming and Harry collapses into a bunker of dry beach and then there's sand everywhere.

Louis wipes what he can off of his face and spits out a mouthful of sand and Harry does the same.  It's mostly useless though because Louis can still taste sand everywhere between his teeth.

"Brilliant idea Haz."  Louis mutters, spitting more sand off his lips.

"What am I supposed to do when you latch onto me like a Great White has come after you?"  Harry pokes Louis in the stomach.

"Not throw me into a pit of death, that's for sure."  Louis rubs his hands together to shed off more of the beach.

"Hey, this is my home you're talking about."  Harry teases.  But Louis pulls a face, so Harry follows it quickly with, "Not Brisbane!  I meant the beach.  The beach is like my home."

Oh.  Speaking of, Louis is reminded of part of their conversation yesterday.  "That reminds me... yesterday you said you don't want me to stay till the end of your internship... How long _do_ you want me to stay?  Just till Tuesday?"

Harry stands up and holds a hand out for Louis to take.  "Possibly.  How do you feel about that?"

Louis stands with the help of Harry and they head towards the rinse-off showers.  "I think that's fine.  What about between now and December though?"

"Well."  Harry says thoughtfully.  "We have... four-ish months left till I move back to Sydney.  I'm sure I could get a weekend off in another two or three months, as I've just used most of my sick days for this."

"Do you- are you okay with me coming up again?"  Louis asks, not sure why he's embarrassed to ask.

"Of course Lou."  Harry presses a sandy kiss to the side of his forehead.  "How often did you have in mind?"

Louis shrugs.  "What if we like, saw each other once a month?"

Harry nods.  "That sounds great.  And between that..."

"Phone calls and FaceTimes every day if we can."  Louis finishes for him.

Harry grins.  "You sure you won't be bored of me by the time I'm finished here?"

Louis elbows him in the side.  "Don't be ridiculous."

"Just making sure.  You know we could run out of things to talk about."  Harry suggests airily.

"Neither of us is boring enough for that to happen.  Plus, we'll need to make plans and discuss living arrangements for when you get here.  I really should start flat hunting like, next month.  God."  Louis holds a hand to his forehead.  "Yeah, fuck."

Harry rubs his shoulder.  "Don't even stress over it babe.  I'll help out too you know.  There's this really amazing thing in the 21st century called internet that allows me to do some pretty amazing things.  I'd be happy to teach you about it sometime."

"Oh shove off Harold.  We were born in the same era."  Louis snorts.

"Yeah?  Is that why you don't have a personal computer yet?"  Harry lifts his eyebrows.

"I've never needed one once in my life!"  Louis defends.  "Why spend money on a laptop when I have my phone?"

Harry rolls his eyes.  "If I have to explain that to you, therein is where the problem lies."

"Don't get all philosophical on me."  Now at the rinsing station, Louis turns the faucet to let the freezing cold water clear their bodies of most of the sand.

"H-how did we forget towels?"  Louis chatters, trying to wipe the water off his skin.

"It's almost 35 degrees out.  We'll be dry in minutes."  Harry shakes out his hair and re-fastens it up into a bun.

"Is that how this got started then?"  Louis asks, combing a stray hair behind Harry's ear.

"Sort of, yeah.  I was tying my hair back with bandanas for a while to keep it out of the way of my scuba and snorkeling gear, but then it got so long that it kept getting tangled, so I just put it up now."  Harry opens the locker that holds their phones and wallets and keeps them in his hand since their pockets are still wet.  Harry can fit all four items in his hand like it's something as small as a chocolate bar though, so Louis just keeps staring at his hands.

"Did you want to carry your things?"  Harry asks, breaking Louis from his brain fixation.

Louis clears his throat.  "No.  It's fine.  Shall we go eat some crab then?"

"Definitely."  Harry smiles.

"And do you have any Mary, or should I track down one of Niall's distributors?"  Louis asks.  Sex might satiate a good deal of any physical desires, but it's been too long to go without weed and cigarettes at the same time.

"Oh fucking hell, that sounds amazing.  I haven't had any since Sydney."  Harry moans.

"It's settled then."  Louis grabs his phone to text Niall.

~~~

Later that night, they're lounging in the kitchen, Louis wishing he'd brought his gaming station up so they could play Zelda, and there's a knock at the door. 

"Expecting company?"  Louis asks.

Harry purses his lips.  "Not really, no." 

The knocking persists, so Harry gets up to answer the door.  Harry opens it and there's a girl's voice from the other side.  Harry holds up a finger back at Louis, signaling to give him a minute.  He steps out onto the porch and Louis is left alone in the kitchen twiddling his thumbs.

It's a few minutes of counting the knots in the wooden cabinets before the door opens again and Harry steps in behind the girl that previously occupied his bed the morning Louis showed up.

"Lou, this is Sadie.  Sorry I didn't have time to properly introduce you the other day."  Harry flushes lightly.  "Sadie, this is my boyfriend."

Louis stands, realizing that Harry wants to make this a formal type of introduction.  He shakes Sadie's hand.  "Pleasure to meet you.  I've heard a lot of great things about you, and I'm glad you've been such a great friend to Harry."

"Good to finally meet you too."  Sadie says skeptically.  She turns to Harry.  "You're bringing him on Sunday, right?  You know Ethan and Kass will want to meet him."

All eyes are on Harry now and Harry shrugs.  "I don't think so.  He's not religious."

Oh, church.  They're talking about church.  "I'm not, not religious."  Louis pipes in.  "I went to khutbah all the time as a teenager with Zayn."

Harry gives him an uneasy look and Sadie just kind of stares at him.

Louis doesn't really know what he said wrong so he just doesn't really say anything else.

"Well.  Have fun sorting that out then."  Sadie says.  "I should be going."

"Haz and I were just going to pick up some Mary Jane in a bit.  If you'd like to join, you're more than welcome."  Louis offers, trying to consolidate her distaste for him.

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose and Sadie gives Louis the fakest smile he's ever seen.  "I'll pass.  Bye."

The front door closes behind her, and Harry still hasn't said anything.

"That's Sadie... like, your best friend here who sleeps with you at night and helped you through your hard times?"  Louis asks, trying to keep the judgment out of his voice.

"Yeah."  Harry lets his hand drop from his face.

"I mean... what's her problem?"  Louis asks for lack of better phrasing.

Harry sits back down at the kitchen table.  "She's just... a bit prude sometimes."

Louis looks at Harry like he's just started sprouting cucumbers from his mouth.  "She was in nothing but your tank top and underwear _in your_ _bed_ and watched us snog for like two minutes.  What do you mean she's prude?"

Harry traces along the edging of the table with his fingers.  "Just like, she's a bit double-standardy.  It's fine though.  She's never judged me."

Louis blankly blinks at Harry a few times.  "Sadie is the best friend you have up here and you- she- how much does she even know about you?"

"She knows enough.  The basics, you know?"  Harry shrugs.  "She's just like, never seen me outside of like just us or our church friends though.  So I think she's just a bit... shocked is all."

"What do you mean?  You're the same around just about everyone."  Louis says.

"I don't know Louis!  It's not like there's perfect friends like Zayn just lying around every corner, so pardon me if I have to settle for what I can get while I'm up here."  Harry ripostes. 

It's like another tally has been carved into a post for all the things Louis has fucked up because of not being there for Harry.  He's getting a little sick of it because he wonders how much longer it has to go on until Harry's made him feel bad for every little thing he's missed out on.

"Stop trying to make me feel bad about everything!  I'm sure you have thousands of options for friends if you just put some effort into it."  Louis scoffs.

"Are you serious Louis?"  Harry deadpans.  "You have no idea."

"About what?"  Louis bites out, missing when their fights were only over housekeeping issues.

Harry glares at him.  "I _work_ 60 hour weeks if you include all the time on weekends I spend researching and charting by myself so that when I actually get to work I can focus on the hands-on things and advance quicker.  Between that, I'm fucking exhausted with a sleep schedule that's never the same and going to church has been the only other thing filling my time.  It's not like I have days like today every day.  The only time I have for myself are lunch breaks and sleeping and Sundays when I try and focus on something that's not work.  It's not like I'm going to be out clubbing or partying on weekends which isn't where I would want to make friends anyway!"

"So is that what I have to look forward to when you get back to Sydney then?  You working 60 hour weeks and never having time for us?"  Louis asks, trying not to raise his voice.

Harry's face contorts into a sarcastic smile that doesn't look friendly at all to Louis. 

"Oh I'm sorry, is that what this is about?  You thought I was going to move in with you and spend all day waiting for you to get home?"

Louis rolls his eyes.  "God, _no_ Harry.  I just would like to think that we'll have similar work schedules so that- oh I don't know- we can spend time together."

"I can't just pick my work schedule like you can Louis.  I can't have an infinite number of days on or off the clock and have a job guaranteed for me.  I have to work really fucking hard and make my way up the food chain to be able to even think about _dreaming_ of those kinds of privileges- which really don't exist in the real world anyway."  Harry stands up and shoves his chair back into the table and paces around the kitchen.

Louis blinks a few times, feeling suddenly and oddly detached from the situation.  "Jesus, what's gotten into you Haz?"

"I hate working for a fucking paycheck every two weeks just to barely get enough to scrape by!  I hate that the organization I'm working for has such a fucking inefficient work structure and are wasteful with their resources.  It's fucking ridiculous!  Also, do you know how much I could be doing with my time and money if I _wasn't_ working?  I could be spending my time researching the market and investing in stocks and bonds that will have a much better ROI for my efforts.  I make more from my fucking storage unit every month than I do at my job now.  I could be doing so much more with that- I could open others and organize auctions and _God_ , I just feel like I'm wasting valuable time in my life on something that won't get me anywhere with money."  Harry seethes.

Louis tries to stop himself from laughing and barely succeeds.  "Eherm, have you... been talking to your father about this?"

"What?"  Harry squints at him.  "No.  I just think everyone here are dipshits with their money and working their lives away for a paycheck."

Louis nods slowly.  "Why did you graduate in marine biology exactly?"

Harry throws his hands in the air.  "What the hell Louis?  I'm trying to have a conversation with you and-"

Louis holds his hands up defensively.  "No, no, no.  I'm listening Hazza.  I just don't know why you didn't get a business degree or something because-"

"Because I _hate_ business!  Why don't you understand that?  I was miserable and terrible at my father's company and I don't want to end up with the kind of life he has."  Harry clenches his fists.

"Can you sit down and can I talk to you about something?"  Louis asks as calmly as possible.  "Here, actually, let's go up to your room and I'm going to get you naked and kiss your body while we converse.  Is that okay?"

Harry looks like he's just been spoken to in Swahili, so Louis walks over to slot their hands together and leads them upstairs. 

Once there, Louis does as promised and strips them both of clothes, save for their underpants, and sits with his thighs bracketing Harry's torso and Harry's temper seems to have dispirited some.  He smiles drowsily at Harry's body, deciding right now that tonight he's going to give it to Harry nice and slow. 

He places a small kiss to Harry's clavicle.  "Do you remember what I got my degree in?"

"Zoology."  Harry says instantly.

"Do you know the things I'm qualified to do with said degree?"  Louis asks between a kitten lick to the spot he's just kissed.

"Well, a zoo curator for one."  Harry says, temper finally deflating some more.

"Yes.  I could've gone on to be a zoo director or gotten on with a government research agency and had them pay for more schooling so I could get a Masters and do God knows what else."  Louis says.  "Do you know why I work at the Platitat?"

"Because it's what you love."  Harry says.

"Because it's where I'm happiest working.  It aligns with my lifestyle and my priorities I have in life in terms of money, work schedule, time off, what the work actually entails..."  Louis moves to the other clavicle and decidedly sucks a small love bite into it.  "Just because you have a degree in something it doesn't mean you're a prisoner to it."

"What are you saying?"  Harry rubs up and down Louis' sides.

"I'm saying don't lock yourself into one thing.  It sounds like it's a priority of yours to make money efficiently.  You know a shit ton about business- you invested into a fucking storage unit the second you turned 18.  So why not do half and half?  You don't have to do business like your father, and you don't have to do marine biology like all of your coworkers.  You're talented enough to do both if you want." 

Louis kisses upwards to his face.

"You can do that?"  Harry asks.

"Talk to your father about it.  I know he'll back me up with this one."  Louis sucks on his earlobe.  "He does what makes him happy, I do what makes me happy, Zayn's finally doing what makes him happy.  You deserve that too."

"Please don't talk about my father while sucking on my ear."  Harry giggles.

"Will you think about it though?"  Louis pulls back and looks at Harry in the eyes.  "I don't want you forcing yourself into something because it's what society is pressuring you to do.  I don't want you ending up in the place I was, you know?"

Harry nods.  "I get it now.  And... thank you."  He leans up to give a small kiss to Louis' lips.  "I have a question."

"Yes?"  Louis drags the tips of his fingernails against Harry, making him rise with goosebumps.

"About the future..."  Harry shivers.

Louis smiles.  "Okay...?"

"With kids... do you, well- what do you think about church?"  Harry asks.

Louis heart thrums a little harder against his chest because they're talking about kids together now.  "I don't really care Haz.  If you want to take them to church on Sundays, you can.  I don't believe in any of it and I probably won't ever, but I can even go too if you want to be supported with it."

"You would do that?"  Harry's eyes go a little wider.

"Of course babe.  I mean, I'm a little surprised because I don't think I saw you go to church once whilst living with Zayn and I... but whatever makes you happy.  I love who you are regardless."  Louis goes back to kissing the column of Harry's neck.

"Well I was mostly working but-" Harry sharply inhales as Louis nibbles at his Adam's apple, "I think it would be nice for kids.  Maybe not every Sunday, but, like- uhhnmm-" Harry cuts off his sentence to thrust his hips up into Louis as Louis bites harder into his neck.

"Sounds like a plan."  Louis finishes the conversation that isn't really finished, but also doesn't matter that much at this point in time.  He makes good on his decision to himself earlier and gives it to Harry nice and slow.

~~~


	51. Chapter 50

 

                 
~~~

Saturday morning and Louis wakes up with a raging headache.

"Hazza we never got the weed last night."  Louis' voice cracks from speaking for the first time this morning.

"Fuck."  Harry says.

Louis dials the number Niall gave him yesterday for a man named J.C.  He picks up after only one ring with a clipped, "J.C."

"Hi, it's Louis Tomlinson.  Niall's friend from Sydney.  I need Mary like... yesterday please."  Louis tries to keep his voice from cracking again.

"Method of payment, how much product, and where would you like it delivered?"  J.C. asks.

"Card, uh I dunno, 15 grams, and can I text you the address?"  Louis asks.  "Oh fuck, and do you have rolling paper?"

"I'm going to assume that's not a rhetorical question since you're Niall's friend and not solely a client.  Yes, I have rolling paper."  J.C. says.

Louis rolls his eyes at Harry, displaying his sarcasm towards J.C.'s professionalism.  "How soon can you be here then?"

"I will be able to determine that once you supply me with the address."  J.C. says routinely.

Louis tries not to snort in laughter.  "Right, sorry mate.  Bye then." 

He hangs up and breaks into laughter, Harry joining him.  Louis sends J.C. the address, and Louis and Harry have enough time to get showered and eat breakfast by the time J.C. drops off the weed.

Once Louis shuts the door behind J.C., Harry snatches it from Louis cackling manically and running around the kitchen.

"Harold, what are you doing?"  Louis chuckles.

"Ah ha ha!  Weed!  _Weed_!"  Harry kisses the bag and jumps up onto the kitchen table holding it above his head and dancing.

"Weed does not call for moshing on top of culinary furniture."  Louis scoots a chair out from the table where Harry is still bouncing up and down and swinging his hips like it's illegal.

"Weed calls for all sorts of celebrations.  Do you- _do you know_ how long it's been?  Oh God, I didn't think I'd miss it this much- but, just _smelling_ it!"  Harry makes a point to hold the bag right under his nose and dramatically sniff it.  "Oh my God!  I need veggie crisps or kale chips!"

Louis laughs so fondly that he thinks he might explode with it.  "Jesus, weed is supposed to be a downer, not an upper."

"Why are we still talking?  Start rolling you fiend!"  Harry plops down into Louis' lap and straddles him.

Louis automatically wraps his arms around Harry's waist.  "Why do I have to roll?  And why am I a fiend?"

"Because you're faster at it then me!  And because I said so!"  Harry declares, bouncing up and down in Louis' lap.

"Slow down turbo.  My headache isn't permitting of all this yelling, and my crotch isn't enjoying all this bouncing."  Louis snatches the bag from Harry's hand and sets it on the table behind Harry.

"How about this instead?"  Harry grinds his crotch around and down into Louis' lap and rubs their chests together.

Louis groans lightly.  "Do you want to smoke or have sex?"  He uses deft hands behind his back to pinch the right amount of weed into the wrapping he has laid out. 

Harry bites the skin right behind Louis' ear.  "I want both."

Louis carefully brings around the unfinished joint and holds the edge of the wrapping up to Harry's mouth.  "Lick."  He instructs.

Harry's face drops into something deeply innocent and he pokes his tongue out to lick along the edge of the paper as Louis tucks and pinches it together.  He rolls and sticks the roach in after the fact- or at least that's what he's attempting to do, but Harry's gone back to grinding on him slowly and kissing up and down his neck.

They're interrupted by the front door squeaking open.  Louis' first instinct is to pocket the joint and grab the bag of remaining weed and shove it in his pockets.

Harry, however, has the first instinct to jump off of Louis' lap.  They end up attempting to do both at the same time, and there's a communal 'oof' as they end up tangled on the floor- luckily with no damage to the joint, thank God, and no weed spilled.

"Am I interrupting something?"  Harry's roommate shuts the front door behind him.

"I was just, um, teaching Louis origami."  Harry removes himself as quickly as possible from Louis.

Louis takes the opportunity to shove the drugs into his pockets and Harry fixes the chair so it's upright again. 

"Origami?  With- what is that- wax paper?"  The roommate asks, taking a few steps closer to Harry.

"Yep.  Used to be an avid origamist.  Wanted to start with shit paper, you know?  Can't have him fucking up on 10-dollar origami paper.  Would be a waste on a beginner- no offense Lou."  Harry neatly grabs the papers still sitting on the counter and straightens them up.

Louis sits up, trying not to let the blood rush give him more of a headache.  "None taken."

Harry pulls a sheet from the top and holds it out to his roommate.  "Would you like to join?  I was just about to teach him how to make a crane."

His roommate gives Harry a look.  Louis truly can't tell if he's buying the bullshit or not.  Louis almost finds himself believing it- Harry says the utter absurdity with such confidence that it's hard not to believe him.

"No, I'll just- I'll just leave you two to it."  The man decides and makes his way down to the basement.

Harry holds a hand down for Louis to take.  "Close call, aye?"

"Your roomie doesn't know you're gay?"  Louis asks.

Harry's face falls a little at that.  "I mean... he hasn't ever asked.  I've also kind of had Sadie sleep over often and I'm aware it looks like something it isn't, so..."

"Is he like, homophobic or something?"  Louis brushes himself off as he stands up, even though there isn't actually any dust on him.

Harry shrugs and pockets the wrappings.  "I don't really like him much to be honest and haven't really wanted to chance fucking up the awkward acquaintance relationship we have going."

Right.  Louis just kind of stands there, looking at Harry.  Harry stares back.

"Do you have any scented dryer sheets?"  Louis asks.

"What?"  Harry furrows his eyebrows.

"Does this house have a clothes dryer?"  Louis asks again.

Harry scratches the back of his head.  "Actually I think it does.  This place used to be a vacation rental so..." 

"Hang on... first..."  Louis trails off and scourers the kitchen cabinets for a shot glass.  Harry gives him a look when he pockets it, then Louis motions for Harry to lead the way.

Harry leads him through a mud room door where there's a small washer-dryer combo stashed into the corner.  Louis kneels down and starts shuffling through the cabinets.  He pushes aside cleaners, old socks, laundry soap- _there_!

He pulls a couple dryer sheets out- Lavender Ocean Breeze- and grabs Harry's hand to lead him upstairs.

"Lou, what the hell are you doing?"  Harry asks as he follows up the stairs.

"Patience young grasshopper."  Louis pulls them both into Harry's room, locking the door behind them.  "Used toilet paper rolls?"

Harry squints his eyes.  "What?"

Louis ignores the useless question and goes into the connecting bathroom to start digging through the trash.  Unfortunately, there aren't any, and the current roll being used isn't anywhere close to being done. 

Louis sighs, and patiently works the cardboard tube from the inside of the toilet paper.

"Lou?"  Harry tries.

"I'm just trying to get this out.  You're welcome to watch, but if you could be a dear and open the windows in your bedroom, put on some nice fucking music, then lube up your cock, we could really speed up this process."  Louis says focusing all his attention on keeping the integrity of the toilet paper roll in place while extracting its core.

Louis smiles as Harry leaves without a word.  Windows creak open moments later, then after that Louis hears the speakers start up with some trance reggae.  Interesting choice, Louis thinks.

He finally extracts the cardboard cylinder and grabs his lighter from his bag on his way out of the bathroom.  Harry's already naked and on the bed- long curls splayed everywhere- and white sheets up to his chin, along with an obvious tent where he's working his cock.

"It's too breezy to have the windows open if we're going to be naked."  Harry says.

"You'll warm up."  Louis promises.

Louis places the supplies on the nightstand and slides his sweatpants off.  He pulls the comforter down and straddles Harry.  "If I sit on you, are you going to go down?"

Harry shakes his head fervently.  "Don't you need to be prepped first?"

Louis laughs a little.  "I think the prep you gave me on round 20 last night was enough to last me for days, so..."  Louis positions himself, then lowers down slowly, letting Harry fill him up.

Louis is right, there's not too much resistance and it's a smooth pleasure.  He leans down to kiss Harry slowly, but Harry kisses like he's not fully invested in it. 

Louis pulls away to look at him enquiringly.  "Problem?"

"No!  Not at all."  Harry rubs his hands up and down Louis' thighs.  "You just have me infinitely curious with your MacGyver tools you've got there."  He nods towards the nightstand.

Louis settles into his position on Harry to examine him.  "You mean to say you've never done this before?"

"Considering I have no idea what the hell you're doing, no I haven't."  Harry says.

Louis remembers one time a while back where Harry had said there was essentially nothing that could happen in the realm of sex that Harry hadn't already done with someone else.  Louis doesn't like to feel prideful about it, but he certainly can't deny the pleased rush of giddiness that runs through his veins at hearing this newfound information.

"Well, let us pioneer this together then."  Louis says.

"You don't know what you're doing either?"  Harry chuckles.

"Zayn's told me stories.  I can't attribute full credit to myself."  Louis grabs the shelled toilet paper roll and crumples up the Lavender Ocean Breeze dryer sheet into one end of it.  He hands it to Harry.  "Here, hold this for a sec."

Harry takes it in hand.  "Not that you're not sexy as fuck, but I actually am starting to go down a bit."

Louis chuckles.  "Hang on for two more shakes.  It'll be worth it."  He doesn't recognize any of the music or songs playing through the speakers, but he totally loves it.  Very chill vibes he thinks.

Louis grabs the joint next and dries the seal then lights it between his lips. 

Harry's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.  "Louis!  You can't smoke in-"

Louis grabs the toilet paper roll from Harry and exhales the smoke into the empty end.  "Use it to blow the resin into so we don't stain the sheets; and it filters out most of the smell.  The windows will take care of the rest."

Harry's eyes look at Louis like he might be the eighth wonder of the world, and Louis takes another long drag, then dips down to pass the smoke into Harry's mouth.

Harry gets the memo and parts his lips for Louis to exchange the smoke into.  When Harry exhales the small amount of smoke left, it's with a moan and Louis feels Harry getting harder again. 

Louis hands the joint to Harry so he can take a proper drag.  As he does so, Louis takes the opportunity to slowly work his hips into circles.  Harry's eyes flutter shut as he blows the smoke into the makeshift filter. 

Harry decides on taking another hit, then pulls Louis down to breathe the smoke into his mouth.  Whatever it was that Zayn once said about shot gunning giving a better high, well, he was absolutely right. 

"You warm yet?"  Louis runs his fingers over Harry's hardened nipples.

Harry hums in affirmation.

After another several hits, Louis taps the ash out into the shot glass and then resumes lazily riding to the slow rhythms of the music while they take turns smoking. 

Harry's pupils are blown wide, eyes heavy lidded and glazed as he pulls Louis down for a smoky kiss.  "You're fucking brilliant."

"You're fucking gorgeous."  Louis pets his hair while his tongue invades Harry's sweet tasting mouth.

"I love you."  Harry rubs along Louis' hips as he lifts upward a few times.

Louis wants to lie back and just kind of drift off into an ocean of Harry.  He blows more smoke into their filter.  "Love you too." 

"Are we really going to last forever?"  Harry asks as he takes a turn with the joint.

There have been a lot of heavy conversations regarding their future, and for the first time, Louis really can't find it within himself to have a gram of worry over it.  Not over losing his memory and not over being a burden to his future family.  It's the first time, he thinks, that it's like he's stepping onto the beach and sees a beautiful sea of possibilities without any limits.

He shotguns the last drag of the joint with Harry, then sets the roach in the shot glass.  Harry pulls him down to blow the small bit of smoke back into Louis' mouth, and Louis breathes it out his nose as their tongues- still hot from smoke- glide against each other.

"Yeah Haz."  Louis traces the outlines of his lips with the tip of his tongue.  "We'll last forever."

~~~


	52. Chapter 51

 

~~~

"Hazzaaaaaaa."  Louis giggles from the plus carpet floor.  The ceiling fan is really dusty from what Louis can see.

There's stumbling on tile, then the bathroom door opening and Harry peaks his head out.  "Yeah?" 

"Your fan is dusty."  Louis points to it.

"I used to have a cat named Dusty."  Harry plops down on the floor next to Louis and itches his bum.

"What happened to it?"  Louis turns his head to look straight at Harry's knee-cap.

"My mom ran it over."  Harry says with a straight face and then bursts into laughter a moment later.

Louis laughs with him.  "You're way too high if you're laughing about your mom running over your cat."

"It's your fault."  Harry slumps over Louis' legs in a way that can't be comfortable for him.

"Why?"  Louis thinks about sitting up, then decides against it because he's pretty happy just lying on the ground.

"Because it was your idea to smoke before breakfast."  Harry bites Louis' kneecap.

"Well when else are we supposed to smoke?  We have to be at your church in..." Louis realizes he has neither his phone nor a watch to check the time, "I don't know how long.  Probably soon."

Harry looks at his Rolex and laughs.  "We're late."

"I didn't bring any dress clothes."  Louis says.

"Just put on a pair of nice jeans and one of my button ups."  Harry heaves himself off Louis to go back into the bathroom and blow dries his hair.

Louis smells his armpit.  "I haven't showered yet." 

The blow dryer shuts off. 

"What?"  Harry calls from the bathroom.

"Hazzaaaaaaaa!"  Louis yells.

The bathroom door squeaks open.  "Yes love?"

"I smell like come and weed."  Louis giggles.

Harry giggles too and heaves Louis off the floor.  "Come on, let's go."

Louis gets a light head rush as he makes it to his feet.  "Can I make a spliff for the way there?"

"It's literally around the corner.  You need- here..."  Harry pulls the shirt off his back and puts it on Louis' bare chest.  After doing so, he grabs the closest shirt, which happens to be hanging halfway out a drawer, and pulls it over his head.

"We're in t-shirts and jeans."  Louis says.

"And we're really high."  Harry states.

"And we smell like come."  Louis giggles.

"Sounds like we're ready for a great Sunday Service."  Harry pauses to adjust his underwear in his pants, then Louis grabs his hand and they make their way downstairs and out the door.

Harry opts for letting go of Louis' hand once they're in public, and Louis assumes it's because of their destination.  Some things he will never quite understand about Harry, but it's really okay with him because at the end of the day, he and Harry come home to each other at night.

Harry wasn't kidding when he said it was around the corner, because hardly five minutes later, Louis is following Harry up the cement steps and through the entrance to the building.  There's an organ playing and a congregation singing as they approach the chapel.  Harry grabs a program on their way in and Louis follows as he makes a beeline to a row in the middle where his friends are sitting.

Louis trips over Harry as Harry kneels down to do the sign of the cross before entering the pews, and Louis laughs hysterically from his new position face-first on the ground.  Harry bursts into laughter too and helps Louis up and they stumble into the pews where Louis is getting a myriad of looks from Harry's friends.

He nods with a too-big grin on his face to all of them and realizes Harry still hasn't let go of his hand.  Sadie makes a show of coughing and pinching her nose at the no doubt strong smells emulating form them.  Louis chooses to selfishly let Harry's friends see the unabashed hand holding, and amidst the haze of thoughts, trips over Harry's feet because he has, apparently, decided to sit down without informing Louis. 

So down Louis goes- bum first into Harry's lap and legs flailing in the air as everyone around them stands up to recite words back to the priest.  There isn't much else to do but laugh about it, and Harry tries to stand them both upright again while wheezing laughs into his hand.

Finally upright, it's already time to sit again, so Louis does so- with grace this time, but still can't stop the rapid and silent laughs he's huffing out through his nose.  Harry squeezes his thigh to try and silence him, so Louis laughs a little harder because it really shouldn't be funny, but it is. 

He thinks it probably was not a good idea to smoke two joints on an empty stomach, but he just... really loves weed.  And Harry.  And smoking weed while having sex with Harry is just too tempting to turn down- particularly when Harry suggests shot gunning into previously looked over orifices, not only resulting in some extra gritty sex on Harry's part, but also them smoking two joints back-to-back.

Harry rests an arm out on the pew in front of him to bury his face into and silently convulse in laughter.  They get shushed rather loudly from the surrounding churchgoers.  Louis tightens his face up to try and appear serious, but when Harry pinches his thigh again, he loses it.  He pulls his shirt up to cover his nose to try and stifle out some of the noise, and Harry has tears in his eyes as he laughs at Louis' antics.

Sadie leans over and harshly whispers at them.  "If you aren't going to be reverent, go wait in the lobby so you don't ruin it for others."

Harry isn't smiling anymore and seemingly sobers up instantly.  Consequently, Louis does as well, because things just aren't enjoyable if Harry isn't smiling.  Harry also fixes his gaze forward and focuses nowhere but there.  Louis feels a little sad for being ignored, but he supposes it's what he's supposed to be doing too, so he follows suit.

The priest is giving a lovely sermon on loving and serving thy neighbor, but 30 minutes later and all Louis can focus on is the way Harry keeps shifting his position and fidgeting with his jeans.

Louis leans over to whisper in his hear.  "You alright love?"

Harry imperceptibly shakes his head.

"What's wrong?"  Louis asks.

"Stay here."  Harry whispers back then gets up from the pew, rushing and limping a little on the way out of the chapel.

Louis sits there staring at the empty spot next to him and then makes eye contact with Sadie who is the next closest person to him.

Sadie rolls her eyes and goes back to listening to the priest.  Louis really wishes he had brought his phone so he could text Harry and ask why the hell he ran off and abandoned Louis in the middle of his religious service, except he knows Harry didn't bring his phone either.

So Louis sits, shit out of luck, alone and confused.

Another 20 minutes later and the service ends.  Louis sits there like a Shiba Inu amongst Dalmatians and tries not to draw attention to himself.  Luck is, obviously, not on his side, and the teens sitting next to Sadie crowd around him.

"So, you're Louis?"  A redhead boy with a bowl cut and freckles asks.

"Yes."  Louis glances behind him to see that Harry is still not here.  "Sorry, what was your name?"

"Right!  My bad.  It's Ethan!  Pleasure to meet you mate."  Ethan smiles with a mouth full of braces and holds a hand out for Louis to shake.

"And I'm Kass."  A redhead girl, also with freckles, holds her hand out too and pushes her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose.

"Pleasure."  Louis says.  "Are you guys...?"  He motions between the two redheads.

"Siblings?"  Sadie cuts in.  "Yes, congratulations on figuring that one out."

"Sadieeee."  Kass elbows her.

"So, wow.  You're _the_ Louis Tomlinson."  Ethan nods excitedly.  "You look a lot older than I thought you would.  At least from what I've seen on Facebook."

Louis smiles tight-lipped.  "It's the beard.  Throws everyone off."

Sadie rolls her eyes.

"How old did you guys say you were?"  Louis dares to ask.

Kass pipes up.  "I'm 16, Ethan's 15, and Sadie's 21.  And you're 30 right?"

Oh God.  Louis is not prepared for this.  He should have never gotten out of bed today.

"And you guys are Harry's best friends here?"  Louis looks around wondering where the hell the people his age are.

"Yep!"  Ethan proudly bears his braces.  "Pretty tight knit community up here, you know?  It's a rare thing to get someone other than tourists in these parts."

Kass leans in closer to him, making Louis crane his neck backwards, and whispers quietly.  "You know, I smoked weed once, so I won't judge you or anything."

Louis blinks at her a few times.  "That's.... great.... Thank you..."

At this point, Louis misses Brooke, because he's honestly more comfortable around snobby teenagers than socially unaware ones.  Louis mostly is interested in why Harry decided to befriend them out of all people.

"So, how do you all know each other... and Harry?"  Louis asks.

"He came to our monthly book club once!  The priest let us put the information in the program, and right after church we all gathered together in a room and he was the newcomer."  Ethan says.

"And they're my half brother and sister."  Sadie says with the enthusiasm of a sick gerbil.

Louis nods slowly, deciding to be done with the small talk since Harry isn't here, and excuses himself.  "Sorry, I'm just... going to go look for Harry.  It was great meeting you guys.  Hope to see you around."

Kass and Ethan nod frantically and Sadie shrugs.  Louis stands up, still feeling a bit off balance, and steadies himself with a hand on the pew.  When he makes it into the aisle and out the door, he sees Harry curled in on himself on the lobby sofa.

"Haz?"  Louis calls out to him.

Harry looks up at Louis with bloodshot eyes that look on the brink of tears. 

"Babe!  What's wrong?"  Louis rushes over and takes a seat next to him, immediately giving him a hug.

Harry buries his face into Louis' t-shirt "I-I'm going to die." 

Louis pulls Harry away to get a better look at him.  "What?"

"The internet says I probably have a flesh eating bacteria."  Harry says with a strained voice.

"Haz- what?  Back up.  What- why do you think you have an infection?"  Louis asks.

Harry breathes a little faster and he shoves his face back into Louis' chest.  "Because my skin is red and bloody and infected."

"What?  Where?"  Louis' heart beats a little faster in alarm.

"There you are Harry!  Why'd you run off in the middle of Mass?"  Ethan gambols up to them with Kass and Sadie close behind.

"Hey, sorry guys, Haz isn't' feeling too great so I was actually just going to head home with him.  I'll have him give you a call when he's feeling better."  Louis heaves Harry upright and wraps an arm around his waist to lead them out of the church as Ethan, Kass, and Sadie call out their goodbyes.

Louis is a little concerned because Harry is still limping.  "Love, can you walk?" 

Harry nods his head.

"What's wrong?  Talk to me."  Louis squeezes Harry's side reassuringly.

"It's embarrassing."  Harry mumbles.

"You can tell me anything.  You don't have to be embarrassed."  Louis sighs.

"I'm bleeding."  Harry says.

"You said that earlier.  Where are you bleeding?"  Louis asks.

"My bum."  Harry says in almost a whisper.

Louis stops them in the driveway of Harry's house so he can pull Harry in for a hug.  "That doesn't mean you're going to die.  I'm sorry though.  Are you in a lot of pain?"

Harry nods his head.  "It's really bright red too and it stings, but not in the good way."

"Come on then, let's go inside and I'll check it out for you."  Louis pulls away to take his hand, but Harry retracts it from Louis's grasp.

"No!  I- you- no.  No."  Harry says.

"I had my face down there this morning, it's not much different just because a few hours have gone by."  Louis says.

"What if it looks disgusting though?  You'll never want to touch me again."  Harry says.

"You could have the most poisonous animal in all the world on you, and I would still touch you as much as possible."  Louis takes Harry's hand into his and kisses it.  "Let's go inside."

Harry lets himself be dragged inside and upstairs, then does nothing more than stand awkwardly by the bed when Louis lets go of his hand.

"Do you need me to leave or something while you take off your jeans?"  Louis offers.

Harry shakes his head and tentatively pulls them down, followed by his boxers. 

"May I come over and take a look?"  Louis asks.

Harry's face turns bright red and he nods. 

Louis walks up behind Harry and kneels down.  Harry's bum is pert and pretty as always. 

"Babe, you're going to have to bend over.  I can't see anything."  Louis rubs a soft hand on the side of Harry's thigh.

A small whine comes from Harry, but he bends over, and oh.

"Um."  Louis says.

"Please just- please don't say anything."  Harry strains from where his face is in the covers.

"This just happened while we were at mass?"  Louis asks.

Harry shakes his head.  "I was really itchy all day yesterday and today, but it didn't hurt until I went to the bathroom and then there was blood I think from me scratching it so much-"

"Hey, it's fine.  Calm down.  Looks like it's just... inflamed."  Which really is the kindest word he can think to use for the situation.  Louis remembers seeing these kinds of skin inflammations in his textbooks years ago at uni, but he has no idea which long string of Latin is attached to this particular view.

"Is it still bleeding?"  Harry asks.

"Well..."  Louis isn't really sure.  It doesn't really look like it, but it also doesn't not look like it.  "How would you feel about me calling Zayn?"

"What?!"  Harry yanks his boxers up over himself again and turns to face Louis.

"He's a vet!  Calm down.  He knows... medical stuff better than I do.  Not because- yeah.  Just- he's a vet.  He'll be able to help more than me."  Louis says.

"Please, can I just go to a doctor or something?"  Harry asks.

"We can, but you'll have to call one of your parents and tell them what's happened for your insurance information unless you have it with you."  Louis says.

Harry shakes his head woefully.  "Fine, call Zayn then."

Louis presses a small kiss to the top of Harry's clothed thigh and pulls his phone off of the charger to dial Zayn.  Louis sits on the floor and Harry joins him, leaning a head on his shoulder.

It goes to voicemail, and Louis tries again only to get the same response.

"Grab your phone for me love?"  Louis asks.

Harry nods and returns a moment later with it in hand.  Louis calls Zayn from Harry's phone and Zayn picks up after the first ring.

"What the hell Louis?  It's the middle of the night."  Zayn moans from the other end of the line.

"Mate, it's like, noon.  Firstly, I'm offended that you didn't pick up _my_ phone call.  Secondly, be grateful you answered because I was about to start harassing Liam next."  Louis says.

"Jesus, just- why did you wake me up?"  Zayn asks.

Louis forgets sometimes how pleasant it is to be with Harry in the mornings over being with Zayn.  Louis gives the top of Harry's head a kiss as a secret thank-you.

Louis takes a breath.  "Well I was looking at Harry's bum-"

"I'm hanging up now."  Zayn deadpans.

"No wait!  You're a vet... I was just- we don't know what's wrong."  Louis rushes out.

"Well I certainly don't know what's wrong either.  Did your dick get stuck up his ass?"  Zayn asks.

"Zayn, be serious for a minute!  Harry's in a lot of pain.  Like, it's really red and inflamed and he was bleeding earlier."  Louis explains.

"Probably just hemorrhoids."  Zayn yawns.

"No- like, it _looks_ red.  Like an infection or something."  Louis huffs.

"Louis, he should go see a doctor, I'm not there, I can't tell you what's wrong."  Zayn says.

"You know what?  I'm FaceTiming you.  Hazza, bend over."  Louis presses the button on the screen and pushes Harry up with one hand.

Louis pulls Harry's boxers down with one hand while Zayn's face pops up on the screen.  "Okay, I'm changing it to the other camera and turning on the flashlight so you can see."

"Can't say I've ever done a third party colonoscopy before.  This will be- holy fuck!"  Zayn exclaims. 

"This is so humiliating."  Harry whines from the bed.

"How did you not notice this before?  How long has this been bugging you?"  Zayn says.  "Also, Louis, change the angle a little."

Louis does as requested while Harry answers Zayn.  "A couple days.  I don't know.  There's just been too much going on I guess."

"Busy.  Right.  Louis, how did you not notice this?"  Zayn questions.  "You can change the camera now, I've seen enough of Harry's asshole for the morning."

Louis flips the view while Harry redresses.  "I don't know.  I mean, I guess it was a little red this morning but I thought it's just because I was irritating the skin."

"Like, biting?"  Zayn clarifies.

"Well yeah."  Louis and Harry look guiltily at each other.  "And like there was some smoke involved.  So I dunno, I just thought it was like, burned a little from that."

Zayn groans.  "Haz, you have to go see a doctor.  It looks like staph infection, but you won't know until they have the cultures.  Also Lou, I guarantee you'll have it if Harry's comes up positive.  You'll both need antibiotics."

It's Louis and Harry's turn to groan. 

"Isn't there another way?  We really don't want his parents finding out."  Louis says.

"God, Harry's a grown adult.  Let him make grown adult decisions and face grown adult consequences.  Don't fucking coddle him.  If he's that worried, he can pay all in cash, or you can call his fucking parents to tell them that they're going to be billed for antibiotics."  Zayn says.

Louis bites his lip guiltily.  Why does it always have to be Zayn reminding him to treat Harry more like an adult?

"Right.  Thanks Z.  Sorry about... yeah.  Thank you though."  Louis says.

"No problem.  Get better Haz."  Zayn says before hanging up.

Harry and Louis look at each other.

"Well, should we start calling to see where is open on a Sunday?"  Louis suggests.

Harry nods and rests his head in his knees.

"Why don't I call?  Do you want to go run a bath in the meantime?  It might help?"  Louis asks.

Harry nods, so Louis gets up to start the tub, making sure to add extra bubbles in the warm water, and opens the window so that the call of the gulls and ocean breeze can be heard.  He leads Harry into the bath and gives him a kiss as the fill line rises when Harry sinks down into the water. 

Louis sits himself on the bed and after 10 minutes of calling around, he's finally able to get Harry and himself an appointment for today.  He decides shortly after that he should make he and Harry some brunch, and traverses downstairs where he runs into Harry's roommate.

"Hello."  The man looks up from his newspaper and cup of tea.

"Hi."  Louis opens up the fridge and turns to the man.  "Sorry, never caught your name?"     

"It's Terrance.  Harry's shelves are the middle and top ones."  Terrance says boredly.

"Right, thanks."  Louis pokes around at the assortment of leftovers that are probably too old now and a couple odds and ends of uncommitted meals that never got made.

"He never told me he was bi."  Terrance states.

Louis shuts the fridge a little too harshly and opts for scouring the cupboards.  "He never told me you cared to ask."

Terrance lowers his newspaper.  "How old are you?"

"How old are _you_?"  Louis doesn't take the time to turn around and instead continues shuffling around cans until he can find something edible.

"Harry is a boy."  Terrance says.

"And he's living with a man in his 40's."  Louis dismisses.

"Who are you?"  Terrance asks.

Louis grabs two cans of clam chowder and sets them on the counter then turns around to face him.  "I'm Louis Tomlinson.  I believe I introduced myself to you the other day."

"You showed up on my doorstep at five in the morning.  You live in Sydney.  You drove through the night and you've been sharing a room with him since you've arrived."  Terrance says.

"Was there a question in there somewhere or do you want me to start making assumptive statements about you next?"  Louis turns around again to start searching for a can opener.

Terrance doesn't have much to say back to that, so it's only the sound of opening and shutting drawers that fills the silence.

"Drawer closest to the fridge."  Terrance supplies and picks his newspaper back up.

"Thanks."  Louis grabs it then pulls out bowls next.

The newspaper crinkles and Louis can still feel eyes on the back of his neck.

Louis sighs.  He'd definitely rather confront the situation than ignore it at this point so that he can hopefully set some things straight and not leave Harry behind with a speculative flatmate.  If anyone even thinks of putting Harry in emotional or physical discomfort, Louis definitely has a word or two to say about it.

"So are you homophobic or nosy?"  Louis asks boredly as he pours the soup into two bowls.

"Neither.  Just concerned about a man who shows up- twice Harry's age- and kicks out the girl he's had over most nights of the week since he's lived here.  Seems awful sketchy to me."  Terrance takes a loud sip of his tea.

Louis takes a breath to calm himself and shoves the bowls of clam chowder into the microwave.  "I can see where you're coming from.  However, I assure you that I am firstly, not twice Harry's age; and secondly, in no way taking advantage of him.  He's an adult who can make his own decisions."

"Is he though?  You seem to strut around like you've got him under your control."  The newspaper gets laid flat against the table again.

Louis turns around and rests backwards against the countertops to look Terrance straight in the eye.  "Look Terrance, I'm not sure what you're implying, however I strongly suggest you stay out of business that isn't yours; but if you simply can't restrain yourself, I encourage you to ask Harry."

"I don't need to ask when my eyes work perfectly fine."  Terrance says.

"I recommend you changing optometrists."  Louis turns around to pull the food out of the microwave.

"Don't you sass me.  I can call the authorities on you."  Terrance threatens.

"And tell them what exactly?"  Louis keeps his tone light as he fishes out spoons.  "That your flatmate- whom has legal rights on the lease- has a visitor over who he prefers the company of over his other friend?"

"I'll tell them that he's been forced into illicit drug rings and brainwashed by whoever the hell you are."  Terrance says.

Louis searches out oyster crackers in the cupboard next.  "I'm curious, is that what you actually think, or is that what your latest Reader's Digest had in their novice author section this week?"

"I don't like you."  Terrance grumbles.

"Nor do I like you."  Louis says simply.  "However it's not going to keep me up at night as I'm sure it does to you.  Now, I'd really like to spend the rest of my time here in peace.  Am I going to have to worry about that being disrupted by your jealousy?"

"Excuse me?"  Terrance's chair screeches back as he stands up.

Louis balances both bowls of chowder and the bag of oyster crackers in his hand.  "If you're neither nosy nor homophobic, I'm pleased to let you know you've led me to believe you have a crush on Harry.  Am I wrong?"

"You faggots are always trying to push your agenda on everyone else when you should be burning in hell."  Terrance seethes.

Louis tsks.  "Ah, so it is homophobia.  Sorry to hear that.  If you're uncomfortable with two men close enough to share a bed with one another, I think you may have relationship insecurities as well- though that's no surprise considering your... situation." 

Louis looks pointedly at Terrance's very alone persona sitting at the table.  "I recommend getting a close male friend to snuggle with.  Helps keep away the nighttime terrors and self-loathing at bay while curbing the itch for human contact.  I know a thing or two about that.  Best of luck Terry.  My mobile's always on for you."

Without waiting for a reply from Terrance, Louis makes his way up the stairs and back to his lovely boyfriend who is sprawled across the white bedding.

"I have brunch for us, and then we have an appointment at a clinic for culture testing!"  Louis exclaims.

Harry groans.

"Oh come on.  I set you up for a mildly to impressive pun there, and you didn't even take it."  Louis sets the bowls of soup on the nightstand.

"My ass is less than perfect."  Harry says to the void.

"Hazza."  Louis immediately perches atop Harry and looks deeply into his eyes.  "Babe, you are absolutely perfect.  Every bit of you is perfect.  I've never met a mortal so perfect on the inside and outside.  A small infection and a little redness isn't going to change my opinion on that."

"But _I_ feel disgusting.  I bent over and showed my asshole to Zayn via FaceTime."  Harry says.

Louis giggles.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny."  Harry tries to scrunch his face up into something resembling distaste.

"It's funny.  You know it's funny."  Louis nips at Harry's nose.

Harry sticks his tongue out through a smile, and Louis leans in to kiss him, but Harry turns his head away.

Louis raises an eyebrow.

"Um, you probably have staph in your mouth, and I think having it in one part of my body is enough.  Sorry."  Harry looks up cautiously at Louis.

Louis laughs.  "Good point.  Let's eat and go then, yes?"

Harry gives him an affirmative.

~~~


	53. Chapter 52

 

~~~ 

A couple hours later, they walk out of the clinic, two orange pill bottles in hand and a handful of cash gone.  Harry does, in fact, have a staph infection on his bum and dick, and Louis tested positive in his mouth and dick.  The doctor had sent them on their way with a paper bag full of condoms and oral dams and strict instructions on what to avoid and what can be done with safety precautions.

Harry's mood has been ever declining since they got the results back and Louis wants to help him get his mind off of it.

"Well, shall we go get some clam chowder so we can take our first dosage?"  Louis suggests.

Harry raises his eyebrows at him.  "We literally had clam chowder for breakfast."

"Fine then, I'll have clam chowder.  You can have something different.  When in Rome, you know?"  Louis leads them to cut through a park.

"I'm not super hungry.  I have a tough stomach anyway so I'll just take mine now.  We can go get some lunch for you though."  Harry shrugs.

Louis stops to pull Harry down to a park bench.  "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine."  Harry crinkles the paper bag in his hands.

"You don't seem fine."  Louis places a hand on Harry's thigh, but Harry flinches away from it.  Louis furrows his eyebrows.  "Love?"

"It's nothing!  I'm just not in a good mood, okay?  Can't I be permitted a shit mood every now and again?"  Harry stands up and leaves Louis.

Louis follows him down the path.  "Of course you can, but today and tomorrow are our last days together for a little bit, so I'd rather spend them being happy."

"That's easy for you to say.  You're not the one with the itchy ass."  Harry huffs.

Louis chuckles.  "It's a little funny if you think about it."

"No it's not!  Can you stop making light of this and laughing at me?"  Harry seethes.

Louis is silent for a moment before responding.  "Sorry.  There's just nothing to do about it at this point.  May as well just accept it and laugh about it than get all worked up."

"You don't understand Louis."  Harry scoffs.

"Hey, this is hard for me too.  I'm not allowed to kiss you until this clears up.  You don't think I'm not irked about that?  There's nothing that can be changed at this point."  Louis picks up Harry's hand.

"No, you don't understand!"  Harry yanks his hand out from Louis'.  "I infected you because I'm a filthy whore and once you leave you're not going to ever want to come back to me!"

Louis' jaw drops.  "Woah- God- Haz- is that really what you think?"

Harry ignores Louis and walks ahead, ignoring him.

Louis catches up and pulls him by the arm.  "Hey."  He says a little more commanding this time.  "You're not allowed to say things like that and then run off.  Can we talk about what you just said please?"

"I don't want to talk about it."  Harry argues.

"You know what Harry?  I  _really_  don't either.  But it's affecting us and you said it, which means it's an issue, so we need to be adults and talk about it."  Louis says.

Harry aggressively takes his finger between his teeth and bites at the nail.  He turns to start walking again, and Louis is about to stop him, but then Harry starts talking.  "There was a man I slept with a lot, okay?  I liked him, and he knew I was a whore, but slept with me anyway.  He always threatened that he would stop sleeping with me if I ever infected him with anything.  One day he called me up screaming at me for giving him Herpes and told me he was going to kill me."

Louis gasps.  "Jesus, what-"

"He called me a week later and told me that his wife had given it to him because she caught it from sleeping with someone else.  I obviously went and got tested after that, and thank God I didn't test positive for it."  Harry finishes.

"Fucking hell.  Harry."  Louis says.  

Harry doesn't say anything.

"Can you look at me please?"  Louis asks.

Harry gives him a non-committal side glance.

"I'm  _so_  sorry that happened to you.  I- I'm glad you didn't end up with anything, but even if you did, I wouldn't care."  Louis holds up the bag with his prescription bottle in it.  "I  _don't_  care.  Also, you are  _not_  a whore.  We gave each other staph, so what?  We got lazy and a little too dirty and rough.  We'll take these and recover and it won't happen again.  I'll love you through it all."

Harry bites at his bottom lip.

"Through sickness and health."  Louis says.  

Harry looks at him with dilated pupils.

"Till Alzheimer's do us part."  Louis tacks on.

Harry cracks a smile at that.  "You're not going to get Alzheimer's."

"And you're not a whore, okay?  We've already discussed this, remember?"  Louis takes Harry's hand in his own again.

Harry sighs.  "I know.  Old sayings die hard though."  

"Just like, remind yourself of what that word actually means every time you think it.  Then combat it with logic.  You're with me and me only for now and ever.  I used to be a nature-killing arsonist, but I don't still define myself by it."  Louis says.  

Harry nods.  "I know; and I will.  I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize love.  You're still perfect to me."  Louis kisses his hand as they approach a restaurant.  "Is this one okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine."  Harry says.

Louis stops before they enter to pull Harry in for a kiss.  It's only right before their lips touch that Louis remembers kissing is on their 'not allowed' list and jerks his head away so quickly that he bumps Harry's nose.  "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I forgot-"

Harry has a hand covering his nose.  "Fuck."

"I'm sorry babe."  Louis thumbs his finger over Harry's cheekbone.

"It's fine.  Let's go inside before one of us kills the other."  Harry opens the door for Louis.

"Right."  Louis shuffles in and asks the hostess for a table for two.

They set their bags on the empty chair next to them.  It's not a long wait for Louis to get his clam chowder bread bowl and cup of coffee.  Harry ends up caving and having a couple bites because it smells too good to resist.  After they pay the waitress, Louis pulls out his orange pill bottle to dump a pill into his hand, then screws the white lid back on so the pills don't spill out.

"Shall we have a toast?"  Louis holds up his almost empty water glass that is filled mostly with ice.

Harry pouts out his lip, but holds up his glass nonetheless.  

"To us.  Because everything I have in life, I want to be share with you."  Louis clinks their glasses together.

"I think  _I'm_  the one that shared it with you Lou."  Harry smiles.

"Shh, it ruins the romance of it all."  Louis places the pill in his mouth and swallows it.

Harry rolls his eyes and does the same.  

Louis stands up to go, when Harry reaches over to drink the remains of Louis' glass.

"Mine's empty, sorry.  I think we have a bottle in my car though?  It's parked back at the hospital though."  Louis says.

Harry nods and coughs.  "I just- I think it got caught or something."

"Sure, let's head back."  Louis takes his hand as they make the walk across the short park.

Harry's grabbing at the collar of his shirt and coughing a little more frequently and Louis gives him a light pat on the back.

"Louis-" Harry wheezes with watery eyes.

Louis sighs.  "Hang on, we're almost to the car.  Make sure next time you swallow the pill  _with_  the water, not-"

"No, I can't- my throat-" Harry is cut off by wheezing, and okay- he's actually not in good condition.

"Jeez Haz-" Louis grabs the keys from his pockets and opens the doors to search his car for the water bottle.

"Can't breathe!"  Harry rasps at him.  

Louis hands Harry the water bottle and Harry grabs it from him, squeezing the contents into his mouth.  Apparently he's not able to swallow though, as he coughs all the water back up and onto the pavement, pressing an arm around his stomach.

Harry keeps wheezing and shaking his head, buckled in on himself.

"Should we go back inside?"  Louis asks, motioning towards the hospital and trying not to panic.

Harry nods his head, so Louis helps him stand up straight and walks him through the doors of the hospital again, this time heading to the emergency room.

The lady behind the counter furrows her eyebrows as they approach the counter.  "How can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm Louis.  Um, I don't know what's wrong- he choked on a pill or something and says he can't breathe."  Louis tries uselessly explaining.  "We were actually just in here- Harry Styles, date of birth February 1, 1996."

The nurse jots down some notes on a clipboard.  "Is he allergic to anything?"  

"I don't-" Louis is cut short by Harry's knees buckling.  Louis catches him just before he falls to the ground.  "Shit, fuck- Haz!"

The nurse presses a button and a few other nurses rush over to where Louis is still holding Harry who is passed out and turning light blue in the face.

"Are you his emergency contact?"  One nurse asks him.

"What time did his symptoms start showing?"  Another one calls out.

"Is this the first occurrence of this happening?"  The third nurse asks.

"Is he allergic to any medications?"  The first nurse asks again.

Shit, shit, shit, shit.  What would Zayn do?  

Stay calm.  He has to stay calm.  

"I don't know, we were eating clam chowder and after we finished is when it started.  I've never seen this happen before though- let me, let me call someone."  Louis purposely doesn't look at Harry who is laid completely still on a stretcher and being tended to by a flurry of nurses.

He pats to pull out his phone when he realizes he doesn't have Desmond's number.  Harry's phone had fallen out of his pocket though when they rolled him onto the stretcher, so he picks it up and unlocks it to find Desmond's number.

He's trying to keep his head in wits when Desmond finally picks up the phone.

"Harry, I'm in a meeting, can I call you back in 10?"  Desmond clips.

"It's Louis.  I'm at the hospital with Harry."  Louis tries to keep his breaths steady.  "Is he- is Harry allergic to anything?  Food, medications..?"

"He's allergic to Lincomycin and Penicillin, but it should be in his medical records.  Not any food that Anne or I are aware of though.  What's going on?  Why is he in the hospital?"  Desmond rushes out.

"Hang on one sec."  Louis covers the phone speaker to talk to the nurses.  "He's allergic to Penicillin and um, Lindomiacin...?"  

Fuck, is that the right name?  

He's about to double check with Desmond when the nurse speaks up.  "Is he currently being treated for anything?  Are you currently talking to a parent or legal guardian of his, and are you immediate family?  We need to take this to another room."

"They want to talk to you- and they, they want to take Harry to another room.  Um-"

"Excuse me, sir?  Are you immediate family?"  The nurse asks him.

"Yes."  Louis lies.

"Follow us please.  Are you on the phone with his parent or legal guardian?"  The nurse asks again.

"Yes."  Louis says rushing after them.

"Pass me the phone please."  The nurse holds her hand out, and Louis hands it to her and she holds it up to her ear.  "Yes, Mr. Styles?  We have both of your sons here.  Your son said that Harry is allergic to Penicillin and what else..?"

He's panicking not only because Harry is unconscious, but because Desmond could say the word and have Louis kicked out of the room and probably sued for identity fraud.

He knows that standing in the way of the nurses to try and hold Harry's hand or touch him in any way would be the quickest way for him to get kicked out, so instead he curls up on a chair in the room they've been stationed in and watches the chaos happen.

It's about 10 minutes later until the heart monitor is beeping at a normal rate again and Harry's slow breaths into the oxygen mask fill the room.  Two of the three nurses leave and the other one comes to sit by Louis.

Louis thinks this is probably the part where he gets kicked out and another hit on his legal record.  At least he has his job secured at the Platitat.  Maybe he'll end up having to volunteer for a year or two in order to work off his fines, and hopefully only spend minimal time in jail.  It would be full circle, he thinks.

"Mr. Styles, your father said that he's on a jet and will be here within the hour.  Can you tell me more about your brother's situation?  He suffered a severe allergic reaction, and as far as we know, he didn't come into contact with any allergens and all of our medical records are up to date.  Is he currently being treated for anything?  We might need to do extensive testing on what caused this."  The nurse says.

Well, looks like there will be no jail in his imminent future.  There will however, be a Desmond Styles that he'll have to come face to face with.  He'll deal with that when it comes though.

"Yeah, we both just got diagnosed with staph infection today and took our first dose of pills.  Actually, it was right after he took it that he started having problems, but, you said his medical records are up to date..?"  Louis asks.

"Do you have the medication on you?"  She asks.

"It's in my car, I'll be right back."  Louis really doesn't want to leave Harry, but knows that he'll still be there when he gets back.  

Every step he takes he chants to himself 'It's okay.  It's okay.  It's okay.'

It works in keeping him calm and when he opens his car door, he grabs one of the bags to check inside.  

When he opens it, he notices the pills spilled everywhere.  The bag and pill bottle say Louis' name, but Louis specifically remembers screwing the cap back on the orange bottle.

He checks Harry's bag, and the bottle inside is sitting with its cap screwed on tight.  

Louis took Harry's antibiotic.  Harry took Louis'.

Louis stares at nothing for a moment before holding up the pill bottles to juxtapose the names. 

Louis Tomlinson: Lincomycin   Take every 6 hours for 10 days.

Harry Styles: Erythromycin   Take every 6 hours for 20 days.

Louis brings both pill bottles in and goes back to the room where the nurse is still sitting.

"He took my antibiotics.  The thing he's allergic to.  Lincomycin.  That's why he had an allergic reaction."  Louis says to her.

She inspects both bottles.  "Are you 100 percent sure?"

"Yes, I remember specifically capping my bottle before putting it in the bag because I hate when the pills spill everywhere.  Harry didn't cap his right, which is actually my bottle, so..."  Louis feels responsible for this.  He should have checked or something.  It just didn't occur to him that they would be prescribed different antibiotics.

"Well your brother is very lucky you were there to act quickly Mr. Tomlinson.  Are you half-brothers then?"  

"Yeah, we are."  Louis really hopes she doesn't push it because he's about three seconds from running out of the room and screaming.  Louis does not do lying.  

"He will be just fine.  He's sleeping now, but all of his vitals are good.  He should be waking up soon now that he has a steady supply of oxygen.  You're welcome to stay in here, and feel free to grab any of us if you have any questions or concerns."  The nurse says.

Louis just nods.

The nurse leaves and closes the door behind her.  Louis immediately rushes to the side of the bed and picks up Harry's hand.  The color has returned to his face and he's breathing steadily again.  

Louis feels like he can finally breathe again and rubs up and down Harry's arm.  "Why didn't I ever think to ask you if you were allergic to anything?  I feel like such a fuck up boyfriend.  I can't even take care of you properly."

Harry's eyes flutter open and he smiles.  "Are you talking shit on the love of my life?"

Louis dives on top of Harry and smothers him in a hug.  "I'm sorry Harry.  I'm so sorry."

Harry pets Louis' hair with a hand with an IV attached to it.  "It's not your fault love."

"It is though.  How am I supposed to take care of you if I don't even know the first thing about your medical history?"  Louis nuzzles his nose into Harry's neck.

"What happened anyway?  Am I suddenly allergic to clams or shellfish?"  Harry rasps.

Louis sits up and resists the urge to kiss Harry with everything he's got.  "Our antibiotics got messed up.  I got prescribed the thing you're allergic to, and you took it in the restaurant.  I feel like such an idiot.  I should have double checked."

"It's not your fault."  Harry says again and then clears his throat.

"How are you feeling?"  Louis asks.

"Like my ass is on fire and I've just given a four-hour blow job.  So kind of like the night I lost my virginity."  Harry says.

Louis looks at Harry dumbfounded, and Harry just smiles in return.  

"You're supposed to laugh."  Harry rasps out.

Louis doesn't laugh.  "My boyfriend is in the hospital after fainting on account of me.  Pardon me for not laughing when he then refers to his unconsensual-consensual deflowerment."

That makes Harry laugh though, which makes Louis smile.  "Deflowerment?  Are you from the 12th Century?"

"Oh hush."  Louis says.

"You couldn't make me if you wanted to."  Harry challenges.

"My fingers are always something I could occupy your mouth with, so yes I can actually."  Louis says.  "Why are you cheeky all the sudden?  Do near-death experiences cheer you up that much?"

"I just don't like seeing you sad and feeling responsible for things that weren't your fault."  Harry says simply.

Louis sighs and lays down next to Harry, where he has scooted over and made room for Louis.

It's a comfortable silence for a little while and Louis busies his time by drawing patterns into Harry's hand.

"So tell me more about your medical history.  Any surgeries?  Other allergies?"  Louis asks.

"I got my tonsils out when I was 12, aaaannndddddd, I broke my left foot when I was 13."  Harry kisses the top of Louis' head.  "Other than your two platypus attacks, is there anything I don't know?"

Louis shakes his head.  "Just that.  I'm not allergic to anything and the only thing I've had broken is my heart when I was 15."

"Babe."  Harry nuzzles into the side of Louis' face.  "If your parents were here, they would be so proud of you.  I'm really sad that I won't get to know them in this life, but I can't wait to in the next.  I'm sure their hearts are broken too because they aren't able to be here for you."

Louis' vision has gone a little cloudy because Harry hasn't really ever said anything about his parents before.  "You think they'll want to be around me?"

"I know they will.  I know they're looking down from above regretting every day what happened.  But I know they still love you and are proud."  Harry hugs Louis close and Louis wipes at the moistness that's started gathering around the corners of his eyes.

They lay like that for long enough that Louis has calmed down again and feels so overwhelmingly loved by Harry.  

Harry threads his fingers through Louis' hair over and over again.  "So do you think they'll let me-  _dad_?"

Louis shoots straight up off the bed and sees Desmond in the doorway looking like he's ready to dismantle the Barrier Reef with nothing but his fists.  

Louis scrambles off the bed, hitting the floor on his hands and knees, trying to decide if it would be better to hide under the bed, behind the giant vase on the floor, or make a run for the door.  He ultimately decides for behind the vase because he's seen too many horror movies where people get pulled out from under beds or caught before escaping out the door.  

Plus, if the vase breaks, he can use the shards as defense.  Louis will make it out of here alive.

His knees keep tripping over the bedsheet that apparently got tangled in his fall and is praying for deliverance when Desmond speaks up.

"At ease Louis.  We'll talk later."  He says.

Louis' heart thrums out of his chest and he's still not all convinced that he's not going to end up in jail tonight short a limb and penis.

"Harry what happened?"  Desmond's voice booms over him from the other side of Harry's bed.  

Louis tries to make as little noise as possible while trying to break the threads that got caught on the button of his jeans.

"Lou and I mixed up our antibiotics.  I was stupid and didn't check before I took them because I thought they'd be the same.  It was careless and completely my fault."  Harry says.

"Why are you on antibiotics?  You didn't tell me you were sick."  Desmond says.

Oh God, here it comes.  Louis yanks harder at the threads because he's going to be running through the streets with a hospital sheet attached at his crotch in a minute here.

"I didn't find out till today.  We have staph infection."  Harry says.

Desmond's voice goes about 10 shades kinder.  "Are you feeling alright?  Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Um, well, I'm out of cash.  So if you wouldn't mind intercepting the insurance bill before mum sees, that'd be great."  Harry says.

Louis finally yanks the threads free, however the button of his jeans go along with it.  "Fuck."  He mutters to himself.

"You okay babe?"  Harry leans over the bed to see Louis who is still sitting on the floor.

"Fine."  He squeaks out.  "Button came off.  'M'fine."

"I'll do what I can, but you know how she is with getting into my business.  Did Louis give you the infection?"  Desmond asks.

"No dad.  I gave it to him actually.  Promise.  Like I said, we didn't even know till today, and he didn't know I was allergic to anything, so it's not his fault at all.  Completely mine."  Harry says.

"I don't need to get any doctors fired then?"  Desmond asks.

Harry chuckles.  "No dad."

"And I can call my hitman off Louis then?"  Desmond asks.

Louis slowly pushes himself into the corner of the room, not minding at all that he's still on the floor.  He looks down to check for a red dot on his chest just in case.

"Dad!"  Harry exclaims. 

"You're my boy Harry.  I don't want any harm coming to you."  Desmond says fondly.

"I know, I know."  Harry says.

"So when are they letting you out of here?"  Desmond asks.

"I dunno."  Harry shrugs.  "I'm fine now though."

"I'll go see what I can do about that.  I was thinking, since I'm in town we should all go out to eat."  Desmond suggests.

'We should all.'  Louis isn't positive, but that sounds an awful lot like he's included in this dinner plan.  He thinks if he didn't have anxiety before, he'll surely develop it by the end of the night.

Harry easily replies.  "Sounds great."

Desmond leaves the room, presumably to go speak with a nurse about discharging Harry.  Louis picks himself up off the ground physically and metaphorically to prepare himself for tonight.  

~~~

 


	54. Chapter 53

  
~~~

They've just finished dinner and Louis is sweating. 

He's been sweating the whole time really, so it's not like this is new. 

Desmond has specifically directed all of his questions towards Harry, and Harry has responded for both himself and Louis.  Louis only knows he's physically present because of the prickling of his pores at each new sweat drop that develops and by Harry's gentle squeezes to his hand under the table all night.

Louis has said a total of one word all night; but after saying it, he decided it was too much and has just stuck to nodding or shaking his head when Harry asks him questions.  It's fine.  Louis is surviving.

It's not like Desmond is ignoring Louis, because he's not.  But he also isn't conversing with him.  It's only when Harry brings up things that have to do with Louis, and Harry looks at Louis, when Desmond does the same and looks so intensely at Louis that he thinks he's about to drown the restaurant his sweat.

Dessert comes out though, and Louis is spooning the perfectly portioned chunk of brownie mixed with ice cream into his mouth when Harry speaks up.

"So Louis told me I should ask you about something."  Harry says.

Louis misses his spoon and the dessert falls back into his bowl, splattering some melted ice cream on his shirt that's covering his button-less jeans.

"Okay."  Desmond looks pointedly at Louis who tries to make as little movement as possible.

"Well, I was thinking about my job here.  I like parts of it, but I don't love it.  I also have a really hard time with the commitment they expect of me.  Like, I want to have a life and I could make so much more money and time if I devoted part of my time to a few business ventures I have in mind.  Louis suggested I do both part time because it would make me happier than I am right now and said that just because I have a degree, doesn't mean I have to go full time into the field I graduated in."  Harry says.

Louis dry swallows around his throat, because suddenly he questions all of his advice he's ever given to Harry.  Louis realizes too, that maybe he kind of hopes for Desmond's approval of his advice.

Desmond gazes at Louis with a look in his eyes.  "Louis is absolutely right.  A life you aren't happy with is a life not lived."  He looks to Harry again.  "Do you know what I graduated in, son?"

Harry shakes his head.

"Computer Science.  I had a full time job as a computer programmer for a half year until I came across the opportunity I had in business.  I live to work Harry.  Family is important to me, but my business is what gets me out of bed in the morning.  I love it and wouldn't change my life's decisions for anything."  Desmond says.  "Whatever it is that gets you out of bed in the morning is what you should spend as much time as possible doing."

It's something of what Louis might see as a harsh truth of life.  Harry seems to take the information in stride though, seemingly already having known that Desmond's business is essentially more important to him than Harry is. 

Louis wonders if he respects Desmond for his tenacity, or resents him for admitting to Harry not being his first priority.

He thinks it's a no brainer what gets him out of bed in the mornings, and wonders if Harry feels the same way.  Maybe business and marine biology are more important to Harry than Louis is.  He wonders how he would feel if someone he's made as a priority in his life wouldn't do the same for him.

"What if it's Louis that gets me out of bed in the morning?  Like, wanting to be with him and spend all my time with him?"  Harry gives Louis' thigh a squeeze, and well, that answers Louis' question, supplemented by a deep feeling that makes his heart feel too full.

"Then you should do everything in your power to create a life where you can spend as much time as possible with him."  Desmond says.  "You mentioned business ventures.  Do you mean your storage unit?"

Harry's eyes widen a bit.  "Yeah... how'd you know?"

Desmond shrugs.  "I have my ways Harry.  Nothing gets by me."

"Well, yeah.  I was thinking on starting up auctions for assets and acquiring two or three more in Sydney.  Then I wanted to see if I could talk to your AFA, about putting the LLC's net profit into a 12B-1."  Harry says. 

And well, Louis is a little out of depth here, but he listens like he understands anyway.

"I think that's brilliant son.  I'm proud of you, you know.  Storage units are a great business to get into.  I'll have Steven as well as my AIS, Leo, call you because you'll need both of them."  Desmond says.

Harry beams like the Triforce tree topper on their Christmas tree.  "Also I dunno if Jack is still with the REIA, but I'd like to talk to him about creating a PUD under the LLC for... personal reasons."  Harry glances at Louis.

Desmond bites at his bottom lip in a complete mirror of what Harry looks like when he does the same.  "He is.  Does that mean you'll be needing Chantel's services as well?" 

"Yes actually.  If we could get the whole crew on it, that'd be great.  Ideally I'd like it done by the end of fourth quarter."  Harry says confidently.

Desmond looks at Louis.  Louis gives him the biggest smile he can muster up, because why the hell not?  He can't do anything to change the course of fate at this point.  Desmond either hates him or likes him.  Smiling can't hurt.

"And how are you planning on funding this project?"  Desmond asks.

"I was going to ask James if he'll be my VC."  Harry says easily.

Desmond's head snaps back to Harry.  " _Harry_ _Edward Styles-_ "

"He owes me favors!  What good are they if I don't cash them in?  Plus, it's all legal.  It'll be under the LLC."  Harry defends like he used to be on a homeschool debate team or something.

James, James, James.  The name strikes a chord with Louis but he can't for the life of him place why.  There have already been a dozen too many names thrown around tonight for Louis to even try and remember.

Desmond holds a hard gaze against Harry for a moment before sighing.  "You are definitely my son.  I am so proud I can't even put it into words at the moment."

Harry wiggles his eyebrows, and like father like son, they both cackle.

Louis awkwardly stares at his melted ice cream and mushy brownie wondering if it's even worth it to eat at this point.

"Now if you don't mind, give Louis and I some time alone will you?"  Desmond requests.

Louis didn't realize he had stopped sweating profusely until this moment because his adrenaline has kicked in again, and he already feels the moisture pooling in his armpits.  He's never going to be able to wear this shirt again.  The stains will forever be there to remind him of this night.  Not to mention the smell.  God, he must smell _horrid_ by now.  He really wishes he would have spent some time this morning putting on deodorant instead of just getting high and shot gunning into Harry's ass.

"Sure."  Harry scoots his chair away and pushes a kiss to Louis' temple before leaving.

Louis straightens out his napkin next to the dessert bowl.

"Louis."  Desmond says.

"Sir."  Louis decides to face this head on, and looks up at Desmond.

"I've told you.  Call me Desmond."  Desmond says.

"Desmond."  Louis corrects.

Desmond's lips slowly curl into a smile.  "Much better."

Jesus, if Louis makes it out alive, he thinks he'll retire to living as an aborigine away from all of this.

He figures he may as well address everything before Desmond does.  "I'm sorry for abandoning Harry the last several months.  I was scared and didn't know what I wanted, but I know now that I don't want anything more than I want Harry.  I hope you can understand that and also understand how horrible I feel about it.  If I could go back I would change how I handled things, but please know that I won't make the same mistake twice." 

Louis take a breath so he doesn't faint and continues on.  "I'm also sorry for giving the hospital false information and committing identity fraud.  Thank you though- for not telling them, so that I wasn't stuck in the waiting room the whole time."

Desmond is silent for a moment before responding simply with, "I know what it's like to not be present when the one you love is in the hospital."  He says it a bit on the side of emotional if Louis were to judge.

Louis jogs his mind to find any kind of context for that comment until he remembers Harry mentioning that Desmond and Anne had Gemma as teenagers and out of wedlock. 

God, Desmond wasn't there for the birth of Gemma was he?  Which means he wasn't the father- does Harry know?

Desmond breaks Louis from his train of thought.  "I expect mixing up last names won't be a problem in the future?"

And that.  _That_ just kind of does something in Louis that he had no plans for now or in another half decade really.  But the feeling is there, and the timing is certainly wrong, but Louis' never been good at talking himself down from impulsive decisions that have already had time to burrow their way into his brain.

"I actually would like our last names to be the same in the future."  Louis says boldly, then tacks on, "With your blessing ideally."

Desmond's jaw stays set in the same position and he looks so intensely into Louis, that Louis thinks he's surely going to evaporate into nothingness.

Louis fights the urge tooth and nail to start rambling or defending himself or just straight up fucking _run_ , because Holy Mother Mary, what the _fuck_ did he just say?

"Harry is 20."  Desmond says.

"He is."  Louis is surprised at how even his voice sounds.

"He's my son."  Desmond says.

Louis thinks he probably shouldn't say anything back to that.

"You're asking for my blessing."  Desmond makes it a statement.

"I have a very high opinion of you."  Louis says honestly.

"Anne will never accept either of you."  Desmond says.

Louis can't help but smile at that.  "I'm not asking her, am I?"

Desmond's face cracks into amusement.  "No you certainly are not."

Louis is sure everyone in the restaurant can hear his heart beating out of his chest, but he doesn't say anything about it.  Nor does he act like it. 

"When are you planning to propose?"  Desmond asks.

This.  This is definitely not a 'no'.  In fact, Louis half expected to be punched by now.  But this is not a no.  Nor is it a maiming of his body. 

"I wasn't planning on it for another five years or so."  Louis says honestly.

"So you're asking me five years in advance?"  Desmond smiles.

Louis laughs lightly to let out some tenseness and shrugs.  "Things could change.  I make decisions impulsively, but that's not to say they're not well thought through.  It's the timing mostly.  Like, I _knew_ I wanted to buy a Subaru for a long time and had saved the money for it, but when I actually went out and _did_ it- that was impulsive.  Or another time-"

"Yes."  Desmond cuts him off.

"What?"  Louis says stupidly.

"I give you both my blessing."  Desmond repeats.

Louis' whole body feels tingly and his face mostly feels numb.  It's almost out of body, since his brain and heart are off doing the Irish jig somewhere that is not here.  "Oh my God." 

"I have a very high opinion of you too Louis."  Desmond says simply.  "Now then, I've hijacked my company's personal jet long enough, and I believe I have enough time to make it back in time for dinner for my excuse of the meeting running late still believable."

"Best of luck to you with that."  Louis says vacantly. 

"God knows I'll need it."  Desmond does the sign of the cross and Louis laughs.  "Let's get you back to Harry then.  I've already taken up enough of your limited time together." 

They both stand from the table, Desmond leaving cash out for the waiter.

"Thank you."  Louis says.

Desmond pulls Louis into a hug, and it's completely foreign and fatherly, and Louis doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

Desmond ends the hug and gives Louis a pat on the shoulder. 

They make their way outside as if nothing much has changed, and Desmond's chauffer drops them back off at the hospital where Louis' car is still parked. 

Louis gets in his car to give Harry some alone time with his father before they say goodbye, and his hands shake as he uselessly holds onto the steering wheel.  His body feels so fucking high and jittery, and he can't stop smiling.

Harry slides into the passenger seat 10 minutes later.  "Thanks for everything tonight Lou.  I know it wasn't really easy on you."

"It was great.  You're amazing.  I love you."  Louis leans in to hug Harry tight and then tries to relax into it and let off some of his nervous energy.

"I love you too."  Harry responds automatically.  "Are you okay?  He wasn't mean, right?"

"No.  Your dad is awesome."  Louis gives him a kiss to his clothed shoulder, then starts the car.

"Sorry we got business-y for a minute at dinner.  There's just some stuff that I had been wanting to talk to him about in person, and he was here, so it just felt like the right time, you know?"  Harry says.

Louis smiles.  "Yeah I know."

They drive in silence for a couple minutes before Louis speaks up again.  "Why does your dad like me?"

"Because he trusts you.  It goes hand-in-hand for him.  He's told me a couple times that he really likes you and trusts you."  Harry says.

Louis isn't really sure what he's ever done to deserve any kind of trust from Desmond, seeing as the first time they met, Louis lied about his age; and just today he lied about his relation to Harry for the sake of being able to be in the hospital with him.

"Lou, can I ask you a question?"  Harry asks.

"Didn't give me much of a choice there, did you?"  Louis grins.

"You wanker."  Harry pinches Louis' hipbone and Louis flinches and laughs.  "Anyway, um, cigarettes...?"

"Never again.  You're more important to me."  Louis says instantly.

Harry looks over at him.  "Are you sure?  I don't want to keep you from something you want, and though I wish you wouldn't do it, I completely understand-"

"Never again Haz.  You're more important than me than dying early."  Louis reiterates.

Harry leans over and gives Louis a kiss to the cheek.  "You're more important to me than anything else in this world."

"Same for me with you love."  Louis gives Harry a fond smile and the drive the rest of the way in silence.

~~~

Their last day together is spent in bed.  Well, mostly in bed. 

Harry, at Louis' insistence, went out and bought a sheer white shirt to wear all day so that Louis could still kiss Harry's body without worrying about their recovery from staph infection.  Harry said that Louis was being overly cautious, but Louis said he'd rather that than put Harry through more pain.

So they lay together, watching movies, smoking their own joints, exchanging condom-clad hand jobs and sweet nothings with each other. 

When seven in the evening finally comes, Louis feels cheated from the universe that he can't give his boyfriend a goodbye kiss; but makes up for it with a long hug and quick grope. 

After all, it's not goodbye forever.  Just another month until Louis can come up again.

~~~


	55. Chapter 54

A/N: This is my favorite chapter of the whole book.. I hope you enjoy :)

~~~

Z

Zayn has probably never been so well fucked in all his life. Nor has he ever fucked so well.

An almost-week with Louis gone was the only invitation Zayn needed to christen every surface of the flat every day with Liam.

All good things come to an end though, so when Zayn is awoken at seven in the morning by Louis waltzing back into his life, Zayn mourns the end of his honeymoon. Maybe he'll take Liam on a cruise so they can have some more unadulterated alone time together. A cruise is a good one-month anniversary present to plan for he thinks.

"Are we being burglarized?" Liam grunts from beside him.

"No, it's Louis." Zayn kisses him. "I should probably get up though. I'm meeting Derek soon."

"I miss you already." Liam says.

"Miss you already too." Zayn gives him a peck on the lips and gets out of bed to put some underpants on.

Zayn drags himself out to the kitchen where Louis is skipping around the island making coffee. Maybe Zayn should just turn around and get back in bed. He can tell Derek he'll be late and completely bypass whatever excitement Louis is about to spew upon him at this ungodly hour in the morning.

But at the same time, it's been a long damn time since Zayn has seen Louis this lively, and he can't help but be happy for him.

"I take it your trip went well?" Zayn opens the fridge and pulls out strawberries for a smoothie.

"Oh my God Zayn!" Louis basically hangs on him. "Harry's coming back to Sydney after the internship and we're going to find a flat together, then we got staph infection together and I got his dad's blessing to propose to him!"

"Holy shit. What." Zayn says.

His heart and brain are doing two very different things at the moment.

Louis bounces up and down. "I just can't get it out of my head. I wasn't planning on it at _all_ , but then it just came out last night, and ever since then, it's all I've been able to think about. I love him so much."

"Fuck, that's really- damn. Lou, I'm really happy for you." Zayn says from his brain. "When are you going to propose?"

"Like I have any fucking clue! It could be any moment though, holy shit. I have the power to do it whenever I want. I should get a ring just in case." Louis speeds out.

"How much nicotine and caffeine did you have to make that drive through the night again?" Zayn asks.

"None! I haven't had anything since yesterday. I'm just so _amped_ , I can't even explain it Z. I feel like I'm going to fucking _explode_." Louis throws his hands into the air.

"Jesus." Zayn sets the strawberries mundanely on the countertop.

"Will you be my best man? Liam can be there too. Holy shit- how am I going to propose?" Louis exclaims to the void.

Zayn hugs Louis and gives him a kiss to the cheek. "I'm so happy for you. Give me a mo' though, yeah? It's 7:10 in the fucking morning."

"Right, right. I'm so sorry. I need to- I need to get ready for work! Oh God, I get to go back into work! I'm so excited to tell Dez and Winston and Perry!" Louis puts on his work shoes.

Zayn will let him show up in yesterday's clothes and have it be someone else's responsibility to tell him he's not in work uniform.

Louis slams the door behind him, obviously not realizing that he's left a half hour early, and Zayn stares at the strawberries.

He texts Derek to tell him he's sick and brings the strawberries to the bedroom.

"Babe?" Liam rolls over. "Are those strawberries?"

"He's getting married." Zayn says.

"Yeah... I heard that. Are you okay?" Liam sits up and covers his chest with the comforter.

"No." Zayn feels like his heart has just been sliced in two again.

Liam pats the bed next to him.

"Why is this so hard?" Zayn doesn't move.

"We knew this was going to happen, and we knew it was going to be hard for you. It's okay though. You're amazing Zayn, and you're so strong. You can make it through this." Liam consoles.

"I love you." Zayn says, trying to fill the Louis-shaped hole in his heart.

"I love you too." Liam says.

"Can I eat strawberries out of your ass until I feel better?" Zayn asks.

"Now you're talking my language." Liam smiles. "Do we need some chocolate to go with it though? We could get the melty kind."

Zayn smiles back at Liam, spirits lifted incrementally. "Yeah, I think that would be good."

Liam, the saint, hops out of bed and throws some clothes on. If Zayn didn't know him so well, he would think Liam was a morning person.

"Let's run to the store then and we can come right back." Liam sets the strawberries down on their nightstand and takes Zayn by the hand.

Zayn does love Liam. He loves that Liam is willing to put everything aside and be what Zayn needs him to be. Liam doesn't normally get off work till well after midnight, and for him to be enthusiastic and supportive at this hour in the morning means a lot to Zayn.

So Zayn puts a smile on too, because he knows this will eventually pass. He's known since the moment he saw Harry and Louis together that this is where it would end up. He just didn't expect it to hurt so much.

So he smiles for Louis and for Harry and for Liam, because right now he can't smile for himself.

~~~

L

The first week being back from Brisbane ushers in the spring weather of September and has felt like a complete blur for Louis. It's almost like he never left Harry's room because he's just been so fucking high off of endorphins and love and shit that it's unreal.

Jonah was the first to notice upon showing up at work a couple minutes early. Louis is glad that Jonah decided to stay on for another season. He's grown close to the younger lad and feels like they're each other's cheerleaders.

Louis didn't hesitate to spill all the beans to Jonah, and Jonah was thrilled for him.

Vanessa, however, did everything in her power to piss Louis off.

Marti was let go at the end of May, and he had put off hiring an intern for as long as possible. When the end of July came, Conner told him he had to hire the next person on the list.

Vanessa.

It's amazing though, because with any darts she tried throwing at Louis, they basically turned to cotton and fluttered to his feet. He felt like just smiling and laughing all the time. Vanessa finally started giving up the aggression and opted for obstinacy.

That's when Louis started pulling out the threats to fire her, and she shaped up nicely. Though she's still not Louis' favorite person to have in the Platitat and is constantly sexually harassing him, he figures the sooner the season is over, the sooner he can hire someone new.

By the next week of September though, Louis is finally starting to come down off of his eternal high. He still stays later at work, but this time not out of self-pity. The platypodes are absolutely wonderful company and Louis spends as much time as possible FaceTiming Harry with them- his data over usage be damned.

The zoo has closed, maintenance is gone, and Louis is alone in the Platitat. So naturally, he strips off his clothes and goes for a skinny dip in the crisp pond.

Perry goes wild and is swimming right alongside him and Rico keeps nipping at his toes.

"Rico, I always had a hunch that you had a foot fetish." Louis floats on his back and Perry climbs on top of his torso. He sinks down into the water with the added weight. "Perry, get your fat ass off. You're going to make me drown."

As if it were an invite for Rico, Rico clambers on top of his shins.

"Jeez, that still smarts a bit." He tries to shift Rico's weight onto his other shin so that there isn't so much pressure where the spur scar from Perry resides.

Perry pokes Louis' neck with his bill.

"Yes from you Mister. I hope you know I only gave you a second chance because of Hazza." Louis pokes Perry's stomach and he curls in on Louis' hand.

He yelps when he feels something nip at his bum and realizes it's only Tom when her head pokes out of the water. She continues swimming back and forth underneath Louis, tickling his bum with her thick coat of fur.

Winston is next to swim over and bob his head back and forth next to Louis' head. Louis wiggles around in the water to copy him, and Perry makes a disgruntled noise at his surface not being stationary anymore.

"Desiree, get over here!" Louis yells to Dez who is puttering around on the bank.

Louis decides to meet her half way and gently starts floating and paddling his hands in the direction of Dez.

"Come on, there's plenty of room on my chest with Perry. Then you won't have to be in the water." Louis outstretches a hand to try and look like he has more surface area.

Dez slowly toes into the water with her webbed feet and doggie paddles onto Louis' chest ungracefully. He laughs as Perry squawks at her for invading his territory and Louis pets Perry to distract him from getting upset. Perry snuggles high up on his collarbones and Louis has to work a little extra hard to keep his head afloat, but it's all good.

"Jerry, you're the only one missing from the paddle." Louis says to the Southern Cross in the sky as the platypodes overtake his body. "I'm one platypus short of being outweighed and drowned and you're not even here to make my life more difficult."

Tom nips at his bum again and he yelps, waving a hand underwater at her. She nibbles on his fingers and Louis hums The Postal Service to himself as the ripples in the water fill the silence of the night in the Platitat.

Dez still looks a little panicked, so Louis treads closer to the shore to let her off. She jumps off his chest a meter shy of the shore, and completely throws Louis off balance. He gets pond water all up his nose and in his mouth, and feels five balls of fur flurrying around him.

He stands up, making sure not to step on any platypodes, and spits out water while he laughs. Perry tries to climb on him, but to no avail, as his skin doesn't provide any kind of grip for his claws. He rubs his eyes free of algae, then picks up the imprint and drapes him on his shoulder.

He wades in the knee deep shore water to the bank, and the rest of the platypodes have scattered and gone back to doing whatever it is that they enjoy doing while being out so late at night.

Louis shakes his hair out and lays back in the dirt staring up at the sky. He mindlessly pets Perry, and Dez comes to snuggle up too.

Louis thinks he's probably never been happier in his entire life.

The beautiful silence is broken by a sound even sweeter to Louis' ears. The Song of Storms plays it's 8-bit sounding frequencies from his phone and he tries shaking his hand free of water so he can answer his phone without smearing grime on too much of his screen.

Perry grunts at the phone, and he answers the FaceTime call. Harry is sitting on his bed shirtless, hair down and a spliff in his mouth.

"Hey sexy." Louis grins.

"Hey yourself. Are you naked at the Platitat again?" Harry purses his lips and speaks low and slow.

"Maybe I am." Louis shrugs coyly and keeps the screen focused on his head and Perry on his neck.

"Why didn't we ever get to do that when I was there?" Harry pouts and the spliff points downward with his lips.

"I seem to recall getting shirtless and dunking my head in the water with you here once." Louis points out.

"Oh man. That was the first time I saw you shirtless." Harry blows smoke out from his mouth into the makeshift filter. "I'll never forget I had to fight all day to keep it down. I knew back then how much I'd love your curves. Filled my wank bank for weeks."

"Hmm, someone's feeling saucy tonight." Louis teases.

Harry smirks. "Ask me what I'm wearing."

"Oh God, shut up." Louis blushes at the embarrassing memory.

"Your first attempt at phone sex was so cute though. I never want to let either of us forget it." Harry takes another long drag.

"I sincerely hope it's the first thing I forget." Louis scrunches up his nose.

Harry rolls his eyes. "How's my baby?"

"He's good! You should probably stop talking in your phone sex voice so he can recognize it's you on the phone." Louis pulls the phone further away so that it shows more of Perry on the screen.

Harry puts what's left of the spliff off screen and takes a drink of water before pitching his voice up several octaves. "Perry baby! How are you boy?! Is mummy being good to you? Are you snuggling all over his naked body for me?"

Perry grunts and Louis gets smacked by a platypus tail a couple times while Perry tries jumping around and nipping at the screen.

"Aww Pezza baybay I miss you! Guess what! I'm coming back in a few months and I promise I'll come play with you every single weekend okay?" Harry coos.

"You'll come to the Platitat to see your child but not your boyfriend?" Louis reprimands playfully.

Harry lets his voice fall into its normal range again. "My boyfriend also lives in the Platitat along with my child, so it's a win situation all around."

"I don't _live_ here." Louis pushes Perry's tail off his face again.

"And my name isn't Harry." Harry clears his throat and reaches off screen for his spliff again.

"You're right. It's Hazzie." Louis agrees.

Harry grins as he blows out another drag of smoke. He pitches his voice deeper again and slows the rate at which he talks. "Want to know what I was thinking about all day?"

Louis smiles so big that he thinks his cheeks hurt because Harry is the cutest thing in the world to him. "Yes I want to know. Tell me."

"I was thinking about you." Harry smiles facetiously.

Louis bursts into laughter. "I should hope so. I think about you about every minute of every day."

"Will you like, dangle your legs in the water and put Perry in your lap then angle the phone so I can see?" Harry requests.

Louis' giggling dies down enough to where he can sit up straight and do as Harry asked.

"Perfect. Hold it right there." Harry's other hand comes up to the screen and the shutter noise goes off a few times. "Can move the camera so it's facing you both straight on?"

And it goes like that for the next half hour or so; Harry vicariously posing Louis into sensual and silly naked poses of himself and Perry while Harry screenshots them.

"You're so gorgeous Lou, I hope you know that." Harry says.

Louis lays on his side and brushes some dried mud off of his arms. "You're gorgeous too love. So beautiful." He thumbs along the side of his phone.

"I love you so much. It's getting late though, and much to my dismay, I have to get to sleep." Harry says.

Louis yawns. "Same here. Love you."

"Love you." Harry blows a kiss to Louis and then ends the call.

Louis pulls Dez and Perry in closer to him and stares up at the sky for a while longer letting his mind rest and feel peaceful.

~~~


	56. Chapter 55

~~~

Harry is kneeling in the Platitat pond whilist sucking Louis off on the bank.  His long hair has been pulled from its bun and cascades around his shoulders and back and Perry nuzzles into Harry affectionately.  It's after hours, so there isn't anyone there but the two of them, and Louis feels completely loose and free.

"Harry that feels so good.  God you're so good.  So beautiful.  So gorgeous.  Oh yeah."  Louis runs a hand through his own hair with one hand while the other one grips into the earth soil surrounding them.

Perry climbs out of the water and rudely interrupts Louis by nudging his ribcage with his bill.

The waves ripple as Harry pulls off of Louis to kiss the insides of his thighs.  The tips of Harry's curls submerge beneath the water as he kisses down the length of Louis' leg.  "You're gorgeous Louis.  I love you so much.  Love your body."

The water ripples around his legs and tickles when mixed with the sensation of Harry's lips.  "Mmm, feels so good Hazza."

Perry butts his head harder against the side of Louis and Louis swats him away.  "Control your monotreme."

"It's all part of the experience babe.  Just relax."  Harry goes down on Louis again and Louis moans.

"Fuck Haz.  Oh Harry, yeah-" Louis moans. 

Perry butts into his ribs with a lot more force than he thinks a platypus should be capable of.

"God damn it!"  Louis flails his arm out at Perry again.

"Louis.  Louis."  Harry says.

"Harry I'm so hard."  The tension is driving Louis mad and he needs release as of two minutes ago.  Perry hasn't been helping his case either.

"Louis!"  Another hard jab to his side that makes him grunt in pain.  "Louis wake up!"

Louis protects his ribcage from another hit that is no doubt coming and sits straight up, blinking into the morning sun.

Harry is gone and Perry isn't there anymore. 

"What the fuck?"  Louis says.

"I swear to God if you don't wake up-" Zayn threatens.

"I'm up!  What the fuck?"  Louis looks around and sees Zayn in the Platitat.

"Didn't mean to interrupt your sex dream, but thank fucking Allah that we got here before your interns did."  Zayn says.

"Why are you here in the Platitat?"  Louis questions, then notes the rising sun.  "What time is it?"

"Why the hell are you still naked?"  Zayn motions to Louis' indecency.

Louis looks down to see that he is, in fact, very naked.  And very hard.

"Grab me a towel will you?"  Louis asks.

Zayn furrows his eyebrows.  "Why-?" 

Louis goes over to where the bank drops off into a much deeper part of the pond and jumps in.

"Holy shit fucking shit!"  Louis screams at the icy cold water.

His body is very much alert now and the remnants of his dream with Harry fade from off his skin.  He jumps out of the water, now effectively down and awake.

Zayn hands him a towel that he fetched from the prep room and Louis dries himself off before redressing in his clothes.

"Fuck, what time is it?  What day is it?"  Louis blinks to fully adjust his eyes to the light.

"It's 7:30, Wednesday morning.  We scheduled to come and give the platypai their annual vaccines today."  Zayn says.

"We?"  Louis squints his eyes at the vacancy behind them.  Also, it's weird having Zayn talk to Louis as not a co-worker or friend.

"Yes.  Derek and I were fortunate enough to stumble upon you moaning in your sleep."  Zayn deadpans.

"Sorry I have an active imagination.  No need to be salty about it."  Louis brushes the remaining dirt from his arms and wishes Zayn's negativity could brush off with it.

"Anyway, can we get started?  We have other appointments at other zoos today."  Zayn walks back into the prep room.

"Yeah, for sure."  Louis follows him in and shakes Derek's hand.  "Sorry about that mate.  Sometimes I go skinny dipping and fall asleep.  The other bit I blame on my long distance relationship.  Apologies."

Derek clears his throat.  "Not a problem.  Have the platypuses all been well then?"

And so the morning goes, Louis holding and restraining platypodes in towels, Zayn acting on edge the entire time, Derek trying to figure out what is wrong, and Jonah trying to make up for the work that Vanessa exempts herself from this morning.

By lunch time, Louis already feels like he's worked a full day, so he calls Harry in hopes that he'll pick up.

He does.

"Louis?"  Harry asks.

"Hey.  Sorry, are you busy?"  Louis scuffs his foot at some loose rocks on the lunch patio.

"No, you caught me on lunch.  What's up babe?"  Harry asks with concern laced in his voice.

"I dunno.  Just having a hard day I guess.  Like, it was really wonderful, and I had dreams about you that I'll have to tell you about later, but it was vaccination day and Derek came in with Zayn and Zayn just like, invaded my space with his negativity I guess."  Louis picks up some stray straw wrappers on the ground and tosses them into the trash.

"I'm sorry love.  Has he been treating you different at home too?"  Harry asks.

"No, it's been normal.  It was just today."  Louis says.

"Well go jam to some Daft Punk and fix a spliff if you need."  Harry suggests.

Louis smiles.  "Maybe I will do that."

"By the way, I found the perfect flat for us.  I'm going to have Gemma and my dad go check it out because I want it to be a surprise for you.  Is that okay?"  Harry asks.

Louis face palms himself.  "Oh fuck!  I completely forgot about flat hunting.  Or- well- I didn't forget, like _forget_ that we're moving in together, I just forgot-"

"It's fine babe!"  Harry cuts him off.  "Like I said, I found the perfect one.  I know you'll love it, but I want to make some changes before we move in, so I'm having the contractors do some remodeling so it will be ready for us to move into in December."

"Shit, right.  Um.  Can I like, wire you some money then for the down payment?  We can split it, or like, I can pay the full thing since you want some remodeling done.  It'll just be a few weeks so I can have a couple paychecks..."  Louis trails off.

"Nah, I've got it all covered.  Just do your thing.  I just expect contribution in the form of endless sexual favors and meals."  Harry says cheekily.

"I knew you only kept me around for selfish reasons."  Louis sighs.

"Hey, I actually do have to get back to work though.  Can I call you later though?"  Harry asks like he's not the center of Louis' universe.

"Of course.  Love you so much."  Louis says.

"Love you too.  Bye."  Harry ends the call.

Louis takes a breath and realizes he can do what it takes to get through the day.  He smiles because he and Harry are getting a flat together. 

~~~   
                     
Perry is humping Dez.

So Louis obviously takes a picture and sends it to Harry.

**L: Your platypus is humping my platypus :(**

**H: Tis the season! :D**

**L: No. Perry's obviously from up north... he's a month early for mating season here lol.**

**H: Don't put restrictions to when my baby wants to grow up. Let him be free**

**L: There are children here Harold. Think of the children.**

**H: It's good for them**

**L: Smh I have some concerns then for our future kids.**

**H: They'll be well educated :D**

**L: There's a fine line.**

**H: What are you going to do when they walk in on us humping each other? Lie and tell them we're 'playing platypus'?**

**L: Omg please don't go there. I'm sorry I even started this conversation.**

**H: Wait........ DOES THIS MEAN MY BABY IS GOING TO BE A DADDY?!?!?!?!?! I'll be a grandpa :')**

**L: No you dork. Male platypodes' sperm isn't functional till they're 2.**

**H: I wanted baby platypodes though :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((**

**L: Z and I got to help Conner do a 2 year breeding program a while back. It was awesome, but the little puggles aren't the cutest creatures unfortunately.**

**H: Puggles?**

**L: Juvenille platypodes. I'm ashamed. I failed to educate you properly.**

**H: Shush. Send me more pics of Perry and Dez!!!**

**L: ...... you know there are some cultures that would consider this voyeurism? (pic attached)**

**H: Why is Perry eating Dez's tail?**

**L: Platypus foreplay ;)**

**H: Platypus rimming?**

**L: Omg Harry no!**

**H: Hey Louis.....?**

**L: What?**

**H: If I were there, I would totally eat your tail tonight in celebration of mating season.**

**L: I'm not responding to that.**

**H: Send me nudes instead? :D**

**L: I'm going back to work.**

**H: Love you my platypudding! <3 <3 <3**

**L: Love you too my platycake! Xoxoxoxo**

"How's Snobby Styles?"  Vanessa taunts.

"I'd tell you, but your job security is at too high of risk for you to be standing around and talking to me."  Louis says boredly, leaning up against the prep table.

"How about we do something more interesting than talk?"  Vanessa twirls her long ponytail in her fingers and saunters closer to Louis.

"You remember Brooke right?"  Louis asks.

Vanessa walks her fingers up Louis' chest.  "Mmhmm."

Louis pushes her fingers to the side.  "Do you know why she no longer works here?"

"Because she and Zayn were fucking."  Vanessa rubs her hands up and down Louis' sides.

"So don't you think it would be smart to learn from her mistakes rather than continually come onto me?"  Louis pushes her hands down.

"No.  I swore the day I met you that I'd make you mine- whatever it took."  Vanessa steps closer into Louis' space.

"I'm not interested in you."  Louis steps to the side.  "And my heart belongs to someone else."

"I don't need your heart... not right now.  We can start with your body."  Vanessa quickly picks up Louis' hand and places it on her breast.

Louis doesn't mean to, but he shrieks.

Vanessa jumps back.  "What the hell?!"

"Get out!  You're fired!"  Louis wipes his hand off on his shorts that are covered in platypus shit to try and clean them off.  "Get out right now or I'm calling security."

"What?!"  Vanessa asks, dumbfounded.  "You can't fire me!"

"God!  God, God, God, oh my God!"  Louis shakes his hands out and rubs them vigorously against his shorts again. 

He fumbles for the old, cord phone that's hung on the wall and dials the extension for security.

"Security."  Paul says boredly from the other end of the line.

"Paul, I need an escort out of the Platitat and an exhibit restraining order against Vanessa."  Louis feels like puking.

"Be right there."  Paul hangs up.

Louis turns around to Vanessa and points to her.  "You!"

She looks horrified.

"Stay right there and don't move until Paul gets here.  This is not a negotiation."  Louis seethes.

She doesn't move and looks mostly like a deer in the headlights.

Louis leaves her in the prep room and goes outside.  Perry is still humping Dez and Louis really feels for Dez at the moment, because she doesn't seem to be too into it. 

Louis reaches down and washes his hands off in the pond and tries coaxing Perry to him with shrimp treats.  Perry woefully leaves his place on Dez's back, and swims over to Louis.

Louis picks him up to hold him close and run his hands through the wooly under coat of Perry's fur to get a different texture and feeling on his hands.  He wishes Zayn were here.

"You okay?"  Jonah says from beside him.

Louis jumps a little and Perry grunts at the disturbance.  He pets him again until all he can feel is the wet fur between his fingers.  "Yep!  Fine.  Good."

"I saw what happened."  Jonah says.

"I profusely apologize about that.  Sorry.  If you'd like to file a report, the administrative office is open till five."  Louis says mechanically.

"No, no.  Like- if she tries saying it was your fault or something, I witnessed that it wasn't consensual."  Jonah explains.  "I'm just saying, I have your back."

Louis breathes a sigh of relief and Perry nips at his neck a couple times.  "Thank you."

"Are you okay though?"  Jonah asks again.

"Mmhmm.  Yep.  Good.  Just _really_ wasn't expecting that."  Louis squeezes Perry closer and he nips harder on his neck. 

"You should like, go sit down or something."  Jonah offers.

"Nope.  I'm good."  Louis says too optimistically.  He really wishes he had some weed right now.  "I need to fill out an incident report for Paul and Conner so I don't get sued, thrown in prison, and lose my job.  Please finish trimming the overhanging trees."

"Okay... but won't I need to fill one out too?"  Jonah asks.

"Um, yes actually."  Louis shakes his head.  He needs to brush it off.  He's not thinking clearly.

The Platitat door opens and Paul walks in.  Louis clings onto Perry and walks back into the prep room.

"Please escort Vanessa out.  I'll file a sexual assault report and have it in the office by the end of the day."  Louis requests.

Paul nods and ushers a hand out, giving Vanessa the option to walk out without being physically manhandled.  She does, and Paul follows closely behind her.

When the door shuts, Louis puts Perry on the prep table and leans down on his forearms to catch his breath.

"What forms did you need me to grab?"  Jonah reminds him again.

"Right.  They're to the side of the fridge.  Just says 'Incident Report' on the top of the page.  Grab two."  Louis says and lifts his head up when Perry nibbles on the long hair that flips out around his collar.

Jonah does as instructed and sets them down for Louis.  "I'm really sorry.  Has that ever happened before?"

Louis shakes his head and clicks the pen to start scribbling down his name and the date.  "Vanessa has issues.  She always has."

"So I guess we need a new intern then?"  Jonah asks.

"We need fucking Zayn and Harry back."  Louis grits out.  "I'm so fucking sick of uncommitted people coming in here and taking this place as a joke."

Jonah doesn't say anything.

Louis sets down his pen to picks up Perry and face Jonah.  "I'm sorry.  I really shouldn't be venting to you.  These aren't your problems.  You are a model employee and I'm in no way negating that by what I just said."

"Would it help if I said I'm interested in staying here long term?"  Jonah asks meekly.

"What?"  Louis asks.

"Well.  I didn't want to stay on an extra season because I was bored.  I really like it here."  Jonah admits.  "If you think I'm good enough, I'd like to learn how to like, be a manager for when I turn 18."

Louis wishes he could hug Jonah right now.  But he won't because even though Jonah's just made his day, he doesn't want to get involved in inappropriately touching more people than his employment contract allows in one day.

"That's- that's amazing Jonah.  You have no idea how happy that makes me."  Louis admits. 

Some stability sounds great, but what's greater is that he likes the kid.

Jonah smiles.  "Well, working here makes me really happy.  It gives me purpose in life, you know?" 

Louis smiles.  "Yeah.  I know."

~~~


	57. Chapter 56

 

~~~

It's the end of September and Louis is packing up his Outback for his trip to Brisbane.

He's jerry-rigged his backseat to securely hold Queen Gohma's terrarium. After many hours on the internet, he determined it was safe to bring their tarantula on a road trip as long as it's dark and well ventilated.

Next to Queen Gohma's terrarium are the gaming systems. Louis agreed with Zayn and Liam that he could take them for the weekend.

In his trunk is his duffle bag full of clothes and toiletries and a few miscellaneous items that Harry requested. Mainly weed. But also his Ocarina. Apparently he wishes he had it to play on the beach more often than not.

Louis loves Harry.

He wishes he had been able to go ring shopping with Zayn before now because it still hasn't left his brain since his talk with Desmond and he wants to be prepared for the right moment. He's been letting work preoccupy him though.

He leaves right after work on Thursday after contemplating how difficult it would be to fill his boot with water and bring Perry too.

He regretfully decides against it in the end.

The drive up seems shorter this time, and much more familiar. Or maybe it's the familiar feelings of Harry growing with each kilometer. He can't be sure.

When he arrives though, it's around four in the morning and it smells like brine. Louis uses both hands to balance Queen Gohma's terrarium as he gets out of his car.

Harry mailed him a key to his flat a couple weeks back mostly for the sentiment; but Louis' never been so glad to have it on his keyring because it means he doesn't have to wake up Harry.

He maneuvers the keys with his fingers and stealthily opens the door and puts Queen Gohma's terrarium down on the living room couch. He locks the front door behind him and creeps up the stairs of the familiar house.

Harry's door is cracked open and the hinges creak when Louis sneaks through. He kicks off his shoes and strips everything off- carelessly tossing his clothes on the floor.

Harry is spooning a pillow and has three bunched up behind his back. His hair is messily pulled into a bun and a couple curls have broken free and one strand in particular is adhered to the corner of his mouth where there's a puddle of drool leaking out.

Louis is so completely in love.

He pulls the pillows away from Harry's back and slides between the sheets to spoon him as the pillows previously were. When the bed dips in and he slithers his arm around Harry's chest, Harry shifts around.

"Louis?" He mumbles, sounding like gravel.

"I'm here." Louis kisses Harry's shoulder.

Harry whines and turns to face Louis with his eyes still closed and buries his face into Louis' neck. Strong arms wrap around Louis' middle, legs slot between his, and Harry clings as tightly as he can to him.

"Shh. Go back to sleep." Louis kisses the top of his head and snuggles it tightly to his chest.

Harry mumbles something along the lines of 'I love you' and Louis pulls him closer and falls asleep.

~~~

When Louis wakes up, he smells brine and the lingering scent of Harry. There's a note on the pillow on Harry's side of the bed and Louis groggily rubs his eyes as he unfolds it.

_Waking up next to you is 10x better than falling asleep and dreaming about you xxx_

_Love you and see you at 5_

_All my love,_

_Harry_

Louis pulls on a new pair of Harry's sweats that are a tad too long on him and goes down into the kitchen. He searches the cupboards until he finds a Ziploc bag and brings it back up to the bedroom.

He carefully places Harry's note in the plastic bag and seals it gently. He places it on the nightstand until he can put it safely in the back of one of his books he brought in his duffle bag.

Speaking of. Louis looks at his phone to see that it's one in the afternoon. He has a text from an hour ago.

**Lunch time for me :D You up yet love?**

Louis' sad he missed the window where it's easiest to talk to Harry, but texts him back anyway.

**Sorry love, just woke up. Thank you for the wonderful note xx Going to the market.. need anything?**

He doesn't know if Harry will even text back, but plugs his phone into Harry's charger and starts a shower for himself.

A while later, and he's unpacked, eaten breakfast, and gotten ready for the day.

He brings Queen Gohma's terrarium up to Harry's room and puts her in the bathroom because there's a nice space for her there. He pulls the top off the tank to refill her water dish and sets it back down in its original spot when he thinks he hears his phone vibrate.

He leaves the bathroom only to see he has a text from Conner who has attached a picture of Jonah handfeeding Perry shrimp treats.

Louis smiles, wishing he had it together as well as Jonah when he was his age. He thinks he's done okay with the hand he's been dealt though.

He goes to the coffee shop around the corner that Harry took him to last time he was here- well, _one_ of the many that Harry took him to- and orders one for himself. It tastes sweet and chases away the headache from driving through the night. The mixed smell of coffee and brine reminds him of Harry.

When he gets to the market, he gets the ingredients needed for a homemade clam chowder. As much as he loved it last time, the extent to which it was processed disagreed with Louis' generally clean body and he had an upset stomach for a few days. He thinks making it from scratch should help prevent the problem.

After he's checked out and paid, he feels his phone vibrate. He sets his reusable bags down to open the text.

**Sorry, been busy graphing and organizing numbers all day :P. Don't care what you get at the store as long as it's NOT clam chowder! <3 xxxx**

Louis slits his eyes at the text and belligerently goes back in to purchase a frozen pizza if that's how Harry is going to be.

~~~

The door opens, and Louis leans backward to see Harry come through the door.

Harry smiles at seeing him and walks up to give him a hug.

Harry's body engulfs most of Louis, so Louis ends up mumbling into his chest. "You're home early."

"Sierra let me off a half hour early because I told her you're in town." Harry pulls away to kiss him softly on the lips. He smells like the ocean and has his hair tied up in neatly done bun.

Louis kisses back tenderly. "Missed you."

Harry presses a kiss to the top of Louis' forehead. "What're you making over there?"

Louis naturally threads his fingers through Harry's, wishing he could feel the ridge of a ring on his left ring finger, and leads him over to the stovetop.

"Oh, this is my dinner. Yours is in the freezer." Louis picks up the wooden spoon to stir his clam chowder.

Harry lifts an amused eyebrow. "Are you trying to send me some kind of message here?"

"No, not at all. Just figured you wouldn't want any of my homemade clam chowder, so I got you a frozen pizza instead." Louis points the wooden spoon towards the freezer, dripping a little soup on the floor into the process.

Harry pouts his lip out. "Well you didn't tell me you'd be _making_ dinner. I was anticipating like... more canned chowder."

"No, it made me a bit sick, so I figured I'd make it this time. But no offense taken. Enjoy your triple-meat double-stuffed crust." Louis teases.

"Oh shut up you dingus." Harry scrunches his nose. "Please tell me you made enough for me."

"You say that like you doubt my ability to predict that you will never refuse my cooking- even if it's the one thing you specifically asked me not to make." Louis pulls bowls from the cabinets and pours equal amounts in to fill both bowls.

"You're so mean." Harry comes up behind Louis and is about to bite at his neck when he pulls away.

Louis turns around in curiosity. "Yes?"

"Your neck is like... bitten..." Harry says trying to hide his hurt.

Louis cocks his head in confusion. "What?"

"You have bruises on your neck." Harry rephrases. "Did you sleep with Zayn again?"

"Huh? No-" Louis walks over to the mirror in the living room to inspect his neck and ignore the dropping of his stomach.

There are, indeed, several small bruises that look like love bites. Except the teeth marks aren't quite circle enough; nor is there much of a separation between where said teeth would go.

"Oh, Haz..." Louis turns to where Harry followed him into the room, "It's from Perry. He was nipping at my neck for a while the other day."

"What?" Harry furrows his eyebrows. "Why would you let Perry bite your neck until it bruised?"

"Um, remember that day I was texting you the pictures of Perry and Dez?" Louis grimaces because he actually never told Harry about what happened afterward.

"Yeah..." Harry looks a lot more skeptical than Louis would like.

"A, uh, situation happened at work. I was stressed so I was just kind of hanging onto him for comfort. I didn't even realize he was biting me that hard." Louis says.

"I mean, I don't mean to sound like an asshole, but you're sounding really vague about the whole situation." Harry says, insinuating that Louis is lying.

Louis sighs. "You know Vanessa?"

"You slept with Vanessa?!" Harry loses it.

"Harry, no!" Louis lets out his frustration at the fact that Harry keeps jumping to the conclusion that he was unfaithful. Not that he can really blame him all too much.

But still.

He takes a breath to recompose himself because Harry's probably going to freak out anyway and Louis will be in charge of being the one to stay calm. "No. I didn't _sleep_ with anybody."

"What happened then?" Harry asks impatiently.

"We um- we were talking. And she kept coming onto me like you've seen her do before, you know? I kept asking her to stop and threatening her job and trying to get out of the situation, but she um... she grabbed my hand and made me feel her up." Louis recounts the mortifying memory.

"What the fuck?!" Harry looks disbelievingly at Louis. "Are you kidding me? What were you doing to lead her on?"

It's Louis' turn to look at Harry with disbelief. "I literally _just said_ that I was asking her to stop and trying to avoid the situation."

"Well you must have been doing or saying _something_." Harry accuses.

"I didn't Harry! Sometimes people cross boundaries they shouldn't cross because they have _problems_ , not because anything was done to lead them on." Louis argues. "Just because you've fucked your mind into thinking rape is actually some sort of consensual thing, doesn't mean that's what it is for the rest of us."

Harry stares at Louis.

Louis stares at Harry.

Louis wishes he wouldn't have said that.

"Shit- Haz-" Louis knows there's not anything in the world that will take back what he said.

Harry purses his lips and nods once, then turns to go upstairs without a word to Louis.

Louis sits down on the sofa and puts his face in his hands.

"Fuck." He mutters. "Fuck."

He kneads the bottoms of his palms into his forehead, not sure how to fix this. Apologizing isn't much more than banal words and any kind of extravagant gift won't do anything for him; and Harry certainly isn't one to let things go with a physical apology.

Louis simply fucked up. Again. And nothing will really make it better except for time. Time is the only thing he ever wants from Louis.

He sighs and gets up to retrieve the two clam chowder bowls and brings them up to Harry's room. When he opens the door, Harry is on his phone with a joint in his mouth.

Louis sets the soup on Harry's nightstand and sits in the armchair to eat his.

Harry doesn't say anything to him, and instead keeps staring at his phone and smoking.

Louis wonders how much good it would do if he said sorry.

He focuses instead on eating his dinner and not on the fact that it's been a month since he's last seen Harry and Harry doesn't even want to talk to him right now.

When Harry finally finishes his joint, he puts it out in the shot glass ash tray and eats his soup.

"This is really good. Thank you." Harry says, still looking at his phone.

"I'm sorry Harry." Louis tries.

"I want to say it's fine, but that's not honest. I want to say I'm angry, but that's immature. What am I supposed to do?" Harry looks up from his phone finally.

"I don't know." Louis says honestly.

Harry doesn't say anything and goes back to busying himself on his phone.

When Harry finishes his dinner, Louis takes both of their bowls downstairs to wash them.

"You again." Terrance says from behind him.

"Yep. Back to murder Harry this time. Gonna throw him in my body bag and burn his corpse because he didn't sell enough drugs." Louis rolls his eyes to himself as he scrubs the bowls clean.

"You think you're funny." Terrance mumbles.

Louis scoffs.

"What if I said I had that on a recording?" Terrance asks.

"I would tell you that you are in dire need of some new hobbies." Louis picks up a rag to dry off the bowls.

"Hmph." Terrance sits down at the kitchen table and picks up his newspaper.

Louis realizes he's really just lonely. Otherwise he wouldn't be sitting in the common space where Louis could converse with him. He wouldn't be egging Louis on with petty conversation.

"So, what do you do Terrance?" Louis puts the bowls away and pulls out the kettle. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Sure." Terrance says skeptically. "I'm a manager at Woolworths."

Louis nods. "Respectable job. Grocery store managers make the world go 'round."

"Are you taking the piss?" Terrance gruffs.

"No, I'm completely serious. Without people to run grocery stores, I'd surely be dead on the street. A well run food providing establishment is how I rely on sticking to my very complex diet." Louis explains.

"Clam chowder is complex?" Terrance asks.

Louis laughs at that. "Clam chowder is my vacation meal."

"You're from Sydney right?" Terrance puts down his newspaper as a pretense of being busy.

"Born and raised. What about you? From Brisbane?" Louis asks, conversationally.

"Grew up in Hobart. Moved to Cairns for a little while. Now I'm here." Terrance picks up his pencil and looks down at his newspaper again.

"Hobart? That's awesome! My best- um- one of my favorite platypuses is from Hobart." Louis catches himself and turns to pull the kettle from the stovetop.

"You have a favorite platypus?" Terrance asks.

"Yeah. He's uh, passed on now. But he was a Tazzie." Louis says. "Anyway, beautiful place and fantastic cheese. Can't say I've ever been to Cairns though."

"Yeah." Terrance says, not contributing anything more to the conversation.

"Earl Grey, English Breakfast, or Hibiscus Spice?" Louis asks, rummaging through the tea options.

"Grey's fine." He mumbles.

"Milk or sugar?" Louis asks, already pulling sugar out for Harry's tea.

"No thanks." Terrance says.

Louis makes tea for the three of them, and once he's done with Terrance's, he sets it on a coaster for him. Louis also so happens to see that Terrance has a half Sudoku puzzle filled out and half of the crossword puzzle, currently tapping his pencil on one of the questions.

"Top left corner is supposed to be a one not a three and the very center is a two, not a four." Louis grabs his and Harry's tea from the kitchen to go upstairs. "Reproductive, urinary, and intestinal orifice is a cloaca."

Terrance watches as Louis goes back up the stairs to Harry.

Louis nudges the door open with his hip and closes it behind him with his foot. "Brought you some English Breakfast love." Then decides to throw in a pun for the hell of it. "Because if we were English, I'd have you for breakfast every morning."

Harry smiles, so it was completely worth it. "You dork."

"We could go get coffee after if you'd like." Louis offers gently.

"It's nearly seven. We'll be up all night." Harry grabs the cup of tea from Louis.

Louis smiles shyly. "That's kind of the point."

"I saw you brought the N64." Harry says, looking to where it's hooked up to the television.

"Exactly. We'll need lots of coffee to get through our 10-hour Ocarina of Time vanilla run." Louis teases.

Harry lets himself chuckle at that and sighs in defeat.

Louis waits patiently and drinks on his tea while watching Harry stare at his.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks.

"Yes?" Louis is confused.

"I mean to say I feel like an arse." Harry thumbs at the side of his teacup. "You were sexually assaulted and I didn't even ask like, how you are emotionally over the situation."

Louis nods. "I was a bit shaken up at the time. But I'm fine."

"Was that your first time feeling a woman's breasts?" Harry asks.

Louis nods again.

"I'm really sorry Lou." Harry sets his tea to the side and scoots over to give Louis a side hug.

"It's okay. I mostly just wish you and Zayn were still at the Platitat. I miss how it used to be. I miss Jerry." Louis admits.

"I miss it too." Harry agrees.

"Jonah's great though. He- he wants to stay on at the Platitat for a long time I think." Louis says.

"That's amazing babe!" Harry gives him a kiss to his cheek. "He's going to be like your successor or something."

Louis smiles. "You're ridiculous."

"You're ridiculous." Harry smirks.

"Don't start with me young one." Louis playfully threatens.

Harry attacks him with kisses him till they're both giggling and things are okay again.

~~~


	58. Chapter 57

 

                    
~~~

"Harder Louis!"  Harry smacks his hands on the mattress.

"God, I'm going as hard as I can!"  Louis sweats.

"Please, fuck- let me take control."  Harry runs a hand through his hair.

"No!  I'm so close- _ah_!"  Louis yelps.

"Fuck- _fuck_!"  Harry moans.  "You're fucking this up."

"This was your idea!"  Louis berates him.  "I wasn't the one putting the pressure on us."

"Shut up, the timer was _your_ idea.  If you're caving under pressure that's not my fault."  Harry argues.

"No it's not- shit, damn it!  _Fucking shut up Navi!_ "  Louis throws the controller at the ground as Link falls to the ground and 'Game Over' fades onto the screen with the music.

"God, this was only Twinrova.  I could beat them with my hands tied behind my back."  Harry tackles Louis to the bed to kiss him.

"They're the second hardest boss!"  Louis yells into his mouth.  "Plus, I'm not the one who died during the King Dodongo battle.  You're the reason we're a half hour behind schedule."

Harry sucks on his tongue.  "That was your fault when you kept dying in the Bottom of the Well."

Louis moans as he grinds up into Harry.  "Could you really?"

"Really what?"  Harry asks breathily.

"Beat them with your hands tied behind your back?"  Louis bites his bottom lip.

"How much time do we have left?"  Harry tilts his head to the side, pulling his lip out from between Louis' teeth and looking at the timer on Louis' phone.

"It's 5:30 so-" Louis sucks a hickey into Harry's neck, "hour and a half left."

"Yeah- yeah.  I need more coffee.  I'll tie myself up."  Harry pushes Louis off of him.

Louis stumbles downstairs with the coffee pot- his hair a mess, briefs askew, and pupils dilated from extreme caffeine intake.  He trips over the last stair and barely catches himself from falling by gripping onto a kitchen chair and it dropping to the ground, clattering loudly.

"Fuck."  He mutters, fixing it upright again.

"Morning."  Terrance says from the same spot Louis last saw him the night before.

"Hey."  Louis looks up at him, squinting when realizing the light from the window is right behind his head.  He moves over to the counter to resume hurriedly making their sixth pot of coffee for the night- morning- whatever.

"You guys sound like you're having fun."  He says.

"God no, I'm ready to kill him.  We've been at it fucking for eight and a half fucking hours."  Louis leans over the counter to catch his breath.

"So I've heard."  Terrance mumbles.

"Sorry."  Louis pants and grabs the creamer from the fridge so that he can taste something other than black this batch.

"Didn't realize a man of your age could have so much stamina."  He says.

"Keeps me young."  Louis pulls the pot from the machine, accidentally burning himself on the side.  "Fuck-"

"Louis!  I'm tied up and I'm starting in five seconds if you don't get your ass back up here!"  Harry calls from upstairs.

"Shit."  Louis scrambles for an oven mitt to carry the pot of coffee with.  "Coming!"

"Don't forget the creamer."  Terrance reminds him.

"Fuck.  Thank you.  And straws- I need a straw- his hands are tied..."  Louis shoves the creamer under his arm and opens and closes a bunch of drawers.

"Top cabinet closest to the fridge."  Terrance says.

"God, thank you Terry."  Louis grabs a handful of straws because there isn't time to sort out just one or pick which color he wants to see Harry sucking on.

He jogs upstairs, and Harry is sat at the edge of the bed with the controller behind his back- both wrists tied together with a tie and his chest pushed out and shoulders back- and starting the battle over.

"Double straw me."  Harry instructs. 

Louis sticks two in the pot and holds it up for Harry to drink from.  He takes several long sips and then pushes the straws to the side to swear at Link.

"Fuck me, you're actually doing it."  Louis watches his sweaty boyfriend kill the Spirit Temple boss.  Harry's curls are now pulled back into a messy up bun and his face is pale from lack of sleep and lips extra pink from the hot coffee recently warming them up. 

"Can't right now babe.  You could to me though."  Harry says, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"No, I need to watch you do this."  Louis shoves the straws into his mouth to ingest more caffeine.

"We're celebrating with lots of sex if we do this in 10 hours."  Harry says, mashing the buttons on the controller from behind his back.

"Done deal."  Louis sits closer to Harry and watches as Harry decidedly beats the rest of the game with his hands behind his back.

They get done in 10 hours and 32 minutes, but they celebrate anyway.

~~~

They wake up and it's evening.

"I will never recover from this weekend."  Harry moans.

"I think I'm actually dead."  Louis feels like puking into the toilet.  "We ate nothing but clam chowder and coffee."

"Jesus-" Harry hauls himself out of bed and goes to throw up in the toilet. 

Louis groans.  "I worked hard on that clam chowder."

Harry grunts as he wretches into the toilet again.  "If you ever make me eat clam chowder again, I'm denying you orgasms."

"Ugh."  Louis covers his face with a pillow so that listening to Harry doesn't make him more sick.

After another couple minutes, he hears the sink running.  "We should probably never do that again.  At least if it's going to cut into our sleep schedule.  I'm 20 now and way too old for these kinds of activities."

"And no backing out now.  We already decided we're doing a Link to the Past tonight."  Louis laughs and it makes his stomach twist, so he stops.  "And imagine how you feel with another 10 years added and that's how much worse I feel right now." 

"Yet I'm the one vomiting."  The telltale sound of Harry brushing his teeth comes from the bathroom.

"With age comes a stronger mental- oh God-" Louis runs into the bathroom to puke up everything he's consumed over the last 20 hours or so that still resides in his stomach.

Harry giggles with white foam dribbling down his chin.  "What was that love?"

Louis flips him off in between another heave into the toilet.

Another couple minutes later, Louis has emptied his stomach's contents and stands up next to where Harry has generously already prepped his toothbrush to use.

"Thank you."  Louis mumbles as he shoves it into his mouth.  "We'll need to get new ones after this."

"Let's get matching ones."  Harry says dreamily.

Louis laughs and then spits out his mouthful of toothpaste.

"Did you ever take Gohma out of her carry container by the way?"  Harry asks.

"What?"  Louis rinses his mouth out.

"I just haven't seen her yet, so I didn't know if you had her travel in a smaller container or something."  Harry says.

"No?"  Louis puts his toothbrush next to Harry's and looks into Gohma's terrarium.  "She's been in here the whole time."

"Apparently not."  Harry lifts the lid off that is sat crooked on the top of the terrarium.

"Fuck."  Louis says.  "Fuck."

"Looks like we need to go on a tarantula hunt!"  Harry claps his hands together.

Louis grabs the closest pair of boxers to pull them on and throws the next closest pair to Harry.  "We should tell Terry in case he-"

"Holy shit!  Oh my God!"  Terrance yells from downstairs and then there's a loud sound of something smashing to the floor.

Harry and Louis look wide-eyed at each other and scramble down the stairs- Harry still trying to pull his boxers up the rest of the way.

"Wait, wait, wait!"  Louis yells as he rounds the corner into the kitchen.

Terrance is up on the kitchen table and has another shoe in his hand, held up and ready to be thrown down.

"Watch out boys!  Giant spider!"  Terrance warns.

"No wait!  It's our pet!"  Harry waves his hands in the air frantically to get Terrance's attention.

Louis gets down to the floor to try and see where Gohma is.  He's able to spot her rather quickly- as she's reared up with her front two legs up and thorax lifted up.  "Fuck, she's pissed-"

Another shoe comes flying from the air and lands close to Gohma, so she comes running at Louis.

Louis reaches out to pick her up because he'd rather get her back into her home as quickly as possible instead of camping out in one of their closets or running out an open window.

"Why, why, why is it always me?  Fuck."  Louis closes his eyes in preparation for a bite or itchy hairs as he scoops her up and tries keeping her in his hands. 

His hands are just a little too small to fully engulf her though, so when he stands back up to run back upstairs and passes Harry, Queen Gohma leaps from his hands and onto Harry's shoulder.

Harry crumbles to the ground with a shriek and covers his face.  "No, no, no!  Holy shit!  _Ahh!_ "

Louis goes to get her off Harry, but she's frantically clawing at the back of Harry's bun.  "Haz, undo your hair."

"It's going to poison him! What are you doing?"  Terrance climbs down from the table.

Harry tentatively reaches up to pull the hairband out of his hair and his curls cascade around the tarantula at the back of his neck.

"Is she biting you?"  Louis asks, kneeling down to get on Harry's level.

"No."  Harry squeaks.  "She's like, tangling herself in my hair or something.  I don't know.  I'm scared."

"Aw babe don't be scared.  She loves you."  Louis caresses Harry's cheek.

Harry's labored breaths slow down and he looks Louis in the eyes.  "She's calming down."

"Sorry.  I think this was all my fault."  Louis bites his lip.  "Should have double checked when I was changing her water the other day."

"Did you get hurt?  Are you okay?"  Harry holds Louis arms in his hands to inspect them.

"I'm fine.  I'm just glad you're okay."  Louis rests his forehead against Harry's.

Terrance clears his throat.

Harry blushes and pulls away from Louis. 

Louis stands up to straighten out his boxers.  "Did you get the rest of that Sudoku?"

"Not quite."  Terrance mumbles and picks up his shoes to put them back on.

"Want some help?"  Louis offers.

Harry whines from next to him.

"I'll literally be two minutes love.  We need to make breakfast anyway."  Louis gives him a kiss to the cheek.

Terrance sits down and pushes the paper to the seat next to him without saying anything.

Louis sits down, ignoring the cold chair against his thighs and picks up the pencil.  He flicks the eraser end against his lip twice.  "Okay, I've done this one before.  It's really easy..."

Louis explains to him how the puzzle works and how to easily decipher it without writing in and erasing numbers a thousand times.  Harry makes scrambled eggs on toast and tea for the three of them and watches Louis teach Terrance as he eats.

After all the Sudoku's from the last weeks' worth of papers have all been filled out and breakfast has been eaten, the three of them sit mildly at the kitchen table.

Terrance clears his throat.

Louis and Harry look over at him.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for some things I've said in the past that may have offended you."  Terrance says.

Louis and Harry smile at each other and Louis speaks up.  "Thanks Terry.  I really appreciate that.  No hard feelings."

"The only thing I still have a problem with is how much noise you were making last night.  If I wanted to live in a frat house, I wouldn't have paid the fine premium I did for half ownership of this flat."  Terrance grumbles.

"You could have joined us."  Louis cocks his head to the side.

"In fact, you could join us tonight.  We're planning a 15-hour session and you can just watch or join in."  Harry offers.

Terrance goes bright red.  "I'm not gay-"

Harry furrows his eyebrows.  "You don't need to be gay to play Zelda."

"What?"  Terrance asks.

"What?"  Harry returns the question.

"You thought we were fucking for 10 hours last night?"  Louis asks, appalled.

Terrance goes a deeper shade of red.

"You thought I invited you into mine and my boyfriend's sex life?"  Harry asks, mortified.

Louis snorts out and his abs buckle in laughter.  Harry's grin splits his face in two shortly after, and he bursts into laughter too.  Then Terrance stops looking shocked and his face goes red from laughter rather than embarrassment.

Terrance smokes some weed with both of them and they all beat the game in 14 hours.  After Terrance leaves, Louis and Harry celebrate some more and Louis wishes he never had to leave Brisbane.

~~~


	59. Chapter 58

 

A/N: Dedicated to zouis <3                  

~~~

Z

It's October and Louis has just returned from his weekend trip to Brisbane.  This time he left in the morning so that he could get home at a decent time.  Zayn appreciates this on more than one level considering the way he returned last time.

Liam is at work, and Zayn is sitting at the counter where he left his half drunken cup of tea when Louis drags his feet into the kitchen.

"Evening."  Louis says dejectedly and puts his tarantula terrarium on the kitchen counter.

Well, well, well.

"Paradise not so paradisiacal?"  Zayn picks up Liam's cup of tea to take a sip from it.

"You wouldn't give a shit either way."  Louis opens the fridge to stare inside.

Zayn furrows his eyebrows.  "What?"

"'What?'"  Louis mimics Zayn's voice.

"What the hell Louis?  Do you mind at least telling me why you're acting like a five-year-old?"  Zayn sets the cup of tea to the side.

Louis shuts the fridge a little too forcefully.  "I just hate when we're in the shithole with each other!  I had 10 hours to drive and think about how it's been like this since the last time I got back from Brisbane and I just wonder what the hell makes you so moody towards me lately.  Is it because I'm happy again?  So you're pissed at me?"

"God, you're cagey."  Zayn says.

Louis leaves the kitchen with his tarantula and without a word to Zayn. 

Zayn takes a long sigh and drinks the rest of Liam's tea.  This is the time.  Liam told him to do it as soon as Louis got back. 

Zayn follows after Louis, into his room.  Louis pulls Queen Gohma out of her terrarium and grabs the bag of weed, then heads to the smoking couch to fix himself a joint.  He glares at the lot across from his flat where a billion bulldozers have been working nonstop on someone's new house.

Zayn plops on the couch next to him and decides to break the tension.  "I didn't think they'd ever sell the plot of land."

"I'm pissed because it ruins my view of the other residential neighborhoods."  Louis licks the joint shut then dries it with the lighter.  "I liked that field.  Reminded me of our past.  You know, when we were _happy_.  And _friends_."

"It had to go someday.  Just like our past.  Gotta let the old stuff go for new stuff to come in."  Zayn says.

Louis scoffs.  "Didn't realize we were letting happiness go for a shit relationship."  Louis shoves his joint between his lips and hands Zayn the bag of weed.  "Like, what the hell are we Zayn?  We act like normal flatmates.  Is that what you want?"

Zayn fixes a blunt of his own.  "Louis, I'm sorry.  Give me a sec.  I just... I need to say some things."

Louis stares silently at the workers who are running around like ants and Zayn makes sure to get in a few good drags before speaking again.

"Look."  Zayn holds his blunt over the ashtray.  "I just want to start by saying I'm sorry."

Louis doesn't even give him the courtesy of a side glance.

"I've fucked up a lot lately too.  I just... God, I don't know how to say it."  Zayn shoves the blunt back in his mouth.

"Just say it.  Not like it will make anything worse."  Louis chides.

"Louis I didn't expect you to end up with anyone."  Zayn blurts out.

Jesus, that was _not_ what he and Liam rehearsed. 

Louis snaps his head towards Zayn and opens his mouth.

Zayn cuts him off before he can start though.  "Hang on, hang on.  That came out wrong.  I- I _meant_ to say that I always thought I would be the one to end up with you, Louis.  I thought we would like..." Zayn feels nauseous, but thinks of Liam and makes himself say it, "Lou, I thought we would end up being married and having kids and living here and working at the Platitat the rest of our lives."

Some ash drops onto Louis' hand that's in his lap.  "Fuck!"  He shakes his hand out, relights the joint, takes a quick drag and stares at Zayn with wide eyes.  "What?!"

"I never _realized_ that that's what I always thought and planned on until you came back from Brisbane the first time telling me that you were going to propose to Harry and move out with him.  I've had you my whole life Lou and I just thought we'd always be together.  Like, I know we don't have a standard relationship by any means, but I've loved you since we were kids.  I've never been scared to love you with everything I am.  Then there was that one night when we were teenagers- we got drunk together and promised we would get married and have kids if we didn't end up with anyone else.  Just, since then I guess I always had it in my head that that's what was going to happen regardless of who else you fell mutually in love with."  Zayn feels more exposed right now than he probably ever will any other time in his life.

"I mean, I remember that night too- and we've always been there for each other in between relationships and stuff.  Just- I thought, I mean, you _date_ so many people.  They were all just temporary then because you thought you'd end up with me?"  Louis asks.

Zayn nods.

"You were serious about naming our kid Gunther?"  Louis is still looking at Zayn quizzically and trying to keep his joint from burning too quickly.

Zayn shrugs. 

"I always thought I was just baggage to you.  Like, like this sofa."  Louis motions to where they sit.  "It's been around so long and even though it's ugly as shit, we still keep it around because it's just always been there for us."

Zayn rolls his eyes.  "You're not ugly.  I-" Zayn pushes a lock of hair off his forehead, "Louis, I want you to know I don't love you romantically.  I mean, I _used_ to.  I definitely used to, but then I grew up.  I love you so much deeper than that though.  Like a non-incestual brother, you know?"

Louis keeps a stone expression on his face.  "Why are you telling me all this?"

Zayn purses his lips.  "Because I never have before.  We've never talked about us as a relationship unit.  Even after we slept together in April, we just brushed it under the rug.  Liam said-"

"You've talked to Liam about this?!"  Louis exclaims.

"Jesus, calm down.  You talk to Harry about this."  Zayn says.

Louis glances downward.  "Sorry.  You're right."

"I swear.  That boy keeps you young in terms of maturity too."  Zayn chuckles.

Louis' lips tug at a smile.  "It was a long weekend.  He tries really hard, but his immaturity shows through sometimes.  I like it though.  Makes me feel old and wise."

Zayn laughs at that.  "Oh my God."

Louis' face falls back into something more somber.  "I'm sorry for interrupting.  What did Liam say?"

"Liam went to a therapist for a while and-" Zayn shakes his head, "Anyway, Liam suggested I tell you how I feel and have felt about things because then I'm being fully honest with myself and you; and I didn't realize I needed that until he brought it up."

Louis nods.  "I mean, I won't lie and say that being with you hasn't crossed my mind either.  I don't... I don't think I ever loved you romantically if I'm being honest.  I don't know. I hope that doesn't hurt you to hear." 

Zayn shakes his head, so Louis continues on.  "But I've always loved you as a companion who I trust, so yeah.  I know where you're coming from.  I guess I just always thought it was one-sided on my part.  I thought you'd end up with someone else and I'd be alone."

Zayn shakes his head.  "I would have waited for you.  Or dumped anyone for you.  I wouldn't ever let you end up alone."

Louis turns his attention back to the not-so-empty lot across the street to smoke in silence for a couple minutes.

"About you proposing to Harry.  I'm really happy.  I am, and I knew it was going to happen eventually.  But I feel like I'm losing you after having you for 16 years."  Zayn admits.

"I mean, Harry said he still wants to live in Sydney.  We can still do Sunday brunches or something."  Louis says.

"Sunday brunches?"  Zayn bites back a smile.

Louis shrugs.  "Isn't that what sophisticated adults do?"

"Are we sophisticated?"  Zayn asks.

Louis laughs.  "Smoking Sundays would probably be a better idea then."

"Ooo, I can get behind that."  Zayn smiles.

Louis blows out some smoke and speaks again.  "What ever happened between you and Harry?  Like, I can't help but think things will never be the same because there's something that you two are holding onto, and so when I think of proverbial future Smoking Sundays, I see us sitting around awkwardly smoking because none of us end up actually having a conversation with each other."

Zayn's heart does a little twist, but Louis really does deserve to know what's going on.  Zayn owes it to him as a best friend if nothing else.  "Harry is a really special person."

Louis grins like an idiot at that, and that makes Zayn smile a little bigger.

"I think with Harry, people just _feel_ really close to him. _I_ felt really close to him.  When I think about his past with other men, I can't help but wonder if they weren't perverts at all, but instead were just drawn to Harry for who he is.  He's just so God damned lovely and energetic and beautiful, you know?"  Zayn asks.

Louis looks like he's processing a great deal of information and nods slowly.

"And I- I was lucky enough to have a small part of who he is and experience that and really _feel_ it.  And it just felt warm and loving.  Like Harry doesn't even realize he makes people feel that way, but he does.  And when people feel that way, it makes them think about things.  It makes them want him.  I wanted Harry because he made me feel that way.  I wanted him because he's fucking gorgeous and a kinky little shit who makes you feel like you walk on water- particularly in the bedroom department.  It's a really rare thing to find in a person."  Zayn says.

Louis bites at his lip.  "It's not like that with Harry and I.  I mean, I feel loved by him, but I feel it differently than what you explained.  And it's- well like, sex is just really different with him.  Like it's about me and him sharing ourselves with each other.  Is that wrong then?"

Zayn shakes his head.  "Louis, that's why he's with _you_.  To Harry, I'm like the men he used to be with.  I'm sure I'll be special to him in some way or another and yes, there was sexual compatibility, but I wouldn't ever have what you have with him.  It's different for him with you and that's what makes you guys work."

Louis puts his joint out on the ashtray.  "I didn't ever realize that."

"How could you, when you're the one in it?"  Zayn asks.

Louis nods slowly.  "I'm sorry that we never openly communicated about our drunk conversation or all the times we've slept together and what it meant to us.  It could have prevented a lot of heartache and issues over the last year and a half."

"Shit, it's been a year and a half."  Zayn furrows his eyebrows.

Louis smirks.  "Almost.  Two months shy of a year and a half."

"God, a lot has changed."  Zayn finishes off his blunt and puts it out on the ashtray next to Louis'.

"You don't think it's too soon to propose, do you?  I still- like, I worry that he's still young.  I had just barely started dating Mark at his age."  Louis folds his feet underneath himself.

"I think you guys really love each other and that's more important than anything."  Zayn states.

"Is it really though?  Like, what if love isn't enough to pull us through all the shit?  What if I don't love him enough?  What if he doesn't love me enough?"  Louis asks, eyes darting back and forth between Zayn's.

Zayn thinks this is probably the right time to share with Louis something he never has before.  "Lou, I want you to think about your mom for a second."

Louis' eyebrows furrow together.  "What?"

"I've always had this theory."  Zayn says.

Louis looks completely baffled.  "Go on then."

"I don't think she killed herself because she was sad.  I don't think she killed herself because she didn't love you enough.  I think she did it because she didn't want to be alive if it's not where your dad would be."  Zayn says.

Louis' mouth parts open ever so slightly.  "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think about love a lot and what love makes us do.  There was a time where I would have killed myself if you weren't here to share my life with.  When you overdosed- that voice- I think it was my own.  Because I knew if I let you die... I would have shortly after."  Zayn swallows.  "I would do anything for you Louis, and we've had a hella long track record to prove that, but I knew from the day we lit that nature preserve on fire that I was in this for the long haul.  I think it's like that with you and Harry too.  You don't need to light anything on fire and you don't need him to die to know how deeply you love him."

Louis presses the back of his palms to his eyes.  "God, why are you so-" Louis cuts himself off with a sniffle, so Zayn leans in to hug him.

"I love you Louis.  I'm sorry for fucking up."  Zayn holds him tightly.  "I'm so happy for you and Harry."

"I love you too Zayn."  Louis mumbles into his shoulder.  "I'm happy for you and Liam too."

Zayn chuckles.  "About that, is it okay if he moves in?"

Louis laughs.  "Didn't he already?"

"I mean officially."  Zayn pulls away to smile at Louis.

"Of course.  Congrats mate."  Louis gives him a kiss on the cheek.

"Congrats me?  Congrats _you_.  You have an almost fiancé."  Zayn says.

Louis rolls his eyes.  "Almost.  Let's go inside.  The assholes are kicking up too much dust and it's making my eyes water."  Louis rubs at his eyes some more.

Zayn laughs.  "Sure.  Let's go."

~~~

L

When November rolls around, Louis finds himself late at work with Tom in his lap and Zayn by his side.

The days that end with Zayn at Taronga, he always stays back to spend some extra time at the Platitat with Louis.  Today, unfortunately, Zayn is needed at the Platitat for more than just company. 

Tom has been aggressive lately to the other platypodes and has neglected to eat all day.  Zayn's taken all his vitals and they appear to be normal, but his attitude has completely changed.

"Please Zayn..."  Louis begs for Zayn to be some sort of miracle worker and just fix Tom.

"I don't know what to tell you Louis.  I think he's maybe just going through some emotional stress.  Nothing else really adds up."  Zayn puts the rest of his medical instruments in his case.

"Nothing's changed though.  I mean it's not like it could be the interns.  Jonah's been here almost a year and Vanessa's gone."  Louis pushes Perry to the side so he can set the towel that Tom is wrapped in on the ground.

Tom snaps and grunts at Perry as he waddles into the water again.  Perry curls up on Louis' foot.

"It's okay.  Tom's just upset.  You didn't do anything."  Louis bends down to give Perry a rub on the head.

"Watch him overnight and let me know how he does.  If he starts getting sick we'll need you administering antibiotics."  Zayn says professionally.

"Thanks mate.  Never done that before."  Louis rolls his eyes bitterly.

Zayn frowns.  "Sorry.  Just been around a lot of incompetent zookeepers lately.  Have to prepare them for doing their job sometimes."

Louis clicks his tongue.  "Sorry you have to deal with that."

"Part of the job description."  Zayn shrugs.  "Look, I'm really sorry.  I know what this means to you... Do you need me to bring your sleeping bag and pillow from the house?"

"That'd be stellar.  Thanks."  Louis commits to sitting on the ground since he'll be here all night anyway.

"Be back soon then."  Zayn leaves with the rest of his things.

Louis drags his lawn chair over to the edge of the pond and sighs as Perry climbs onto his lap.  "Well fuck.  Fuck, fuck, _fuck_."

Perry grunts in agreement.

"Who's gonna tell him?"  Louis asks the platypus on his hips.

Perry grunts.

"Make me do all the hard shit in the relationship.  I see how it is."  Louis bemoans as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. 

He clicks on his most recent call and waits a few rings for Harry to pick up.

"Hey Lou, I'm still at work.  Can I call you back in five?"  Harry rushes out.

"Sure."  Louis says with his stomach starting to knot up.

"Kay, love you, bye."  Harry hangs up before he fully finishes saying goodbye.

Louis exits his phone app and takes a picture of Perry while he's still sitting there, then locks his phone.

"Well.  Now we wait."  Louis says to the platypus.

Perry jabs him a few times with his bill.

"You know last time I went up to Brisbane we literally did nothing but have sex, play Zelda, and walk on the beach?  Like, I love doing that with him, don't get me wrong.  But I was excited to go out with him more this time.  He was going to take me to his work party and meet all his work friends and I was supposed to see his little office."  Louis mopes.  "I was going to meet a seagull and manatee that he helped rehab."

Since Louis' second visit up to Brisbane covered the last week of September and beginning of October, they decided that Louis should wait on his next visit for this weekend that covers the end of October and beginning of November.  That way Louis would be able to attend Harry's preplanned work party. 

Either way though, it's been a month, and Louis is ready to see his boyfriend again.

Perry grunts.

"No he hasn't rehabbed a platypus yet.  He said it's not too often that platypodes come through there."  Louis interprets the answer for Perry's question.

Perry grunts again.

"I know.  Regardless, he's your Hazzie.  Our Hazzie.  Doesn't matter what other platypodes come into his life."  Louis continues the conversation with himself.

Harry's ringtone fills the air and Perry scrambles up Louis' chest to smother his face.  "Shit Pez, get off or I won't be able to answer the damn phone."

Louis unpockets his phone and accepts the FaceTime call.  Louis can't actually see the screen because Perry is trying to morph himself and become one with the phone.

"Your platypus associates the Song of Storms with you and is now intercepting all my calls.  I hope you're happy with yourself."  Louis deadpans from behind the ball of fur.

"Pezza!  Pezzie!  Perry baby!"  Harry screeches from the other side of the phone.

Perry squawks and grunts and Louis gets another tail to the face.

"I swear the next time I'm getting spurred is going to be whilst on a FaceTime call with you because of this fucking mono- oof!"  Another tail slap to the face and Louis sets the phone down to try and gently resituate Perry without upsetting him.

"How are you my leafy lover?"  Harry grins as Louis picks the phone back up.

"Is that supposed to be a vegetarian pun?"  Louis cracks a smile.

Harry nods.  "I thought of it when I was having my salad today.  Which- you were the talk of the break room you should know.  Everyone's really excited to meet you tomorrow."

Perry grunts and Louis concurs.

"Yeah, Haz, that's actually why I called..."  Louis trails off.

Harry's face slowly falls from a smile into something more like disappointment.  He doesn't say anything though, leaving the silence to Louis.

"Um."  Louis tries.  "Tom's not well.  He's not eating and he's been really aggressive.  I need to watch him really closely tonight and tomorrow." 

Harry's jaw sets into something that reminds Louis of the way Desmond looked at him that night at the restaurant after he asked for his blessing for a proposal to Harry.

Louis' stomach does flips at the thought, and he's sad he can't share his sentimental feelings with Harry since he's looking at him like he's the devil at the moment.

"I'm really gutted that I can't come Harry.  I'm so sorry.  I know we've both been looking forward to this for weeks."  Louis apologizes.

"Why are you apologizing to me Louis?"  Harry asks.

"Because I'm sorry.  I'm sorry that I can't come see you this weekend."  Louis tries keeping a level head even though he knows Harry is getting riled up.

"No, I mean why are you apologizing when you know you could ask Conner to come in and watch him?  Or _hell_ , I know Zayn would if you asked him really nicely.  So, I just want to know why you're apologizing when you can do something about it."  Harry says coldly.

"What if it was Perry, Haz?  The platypodes are the closest thing I have to kids and I don't want to just abandon them when they get sick or are under stress.  I have responsibilities."  Louis defends himself.

"What happened to me coming before everything else?  To us being each other's first priorities?  You're choosing your job over me right now Louis!"  Harry accuses.

"Fine!  You know what?  I'm leaving now if that's what's going to make you happy!"  Louis scoots Perry off his lap and stands up from his lawn chair to stalk into the prep room where his keys are in one of the drawers.  "I thought you'd understand and be a bit more mature about it, but if you _literally_ need me to drive 20 hours to spend 30 with you, I'll do it.  I'll do it Haz.  I'll fucking call Conner and tell him to run his own god damned Platitat and tell Zayn not to bother bringing my sleeping bag over anymore."

Louis pulls his keys from the drawer and slams the stainless steel back shut with a loud clanking noise.  Perry is grunting at his feet.

"No, no, wait _Louis_."  Harry huffs, and Louis stops to listen.  "Just... wait.  I'm sorry."  Harry runs a hand through his hair.

"Is this what you want Haz?  Do you want to hold this over my head and manipulate me to do whatever you want?"  Louis strains out, tossing his keys back on the counter.  "I'm really frustrated too, babe.  I'm really upset.  I don't just have a sick platypus, but I'm missing my boyfriend's work party and bring-your-boyfriend-to-work day and a lot of quality time we could be spending together.  I'm _really_ upset, but sometimes life happens.  But if you feel like this is me choosing the platypodes or work over you, I will not hesitate to get in my car right now and drive up there.  I won't have you feeling like you're not important to me."

"I'm sorry Lou-" Harry pulls at the roots of his hair as his voice tightens, "I'm sorry.  I'm just so fucking _lonely_ up here.  I don't have platypodes or a Zayn or anything.  I have a roomie who I sometimes play Sudoku with and double standard church friends or ones that are half a decade younger than me.  You coming here is what gets me through my days, you know?" 

"I know love.  I'm so sorry.  I'm _so_ sorry."  Louis slides down the concrete wall to sit on the floor, and Perry wraps himself on his feet.  "I wish you weren't so far away."

Harry balls a fist and rubs at his bloodshot eyes.  "I just want to come home.  I miss you so much.  I just want to be with you again."

"Me too."  Louis presses a hand of his own to his eyes that are feeling rather hot.  "I can come up though.  If you need me to, I'll get in my car right now and start driving."

Harry shakes his head and his breath catches.  "No, it's fine.  I'm just being selfish-" He sniffles and wipes at his nose with the back of his hand, "I'm sorry, it's just been a really emotional day.  I was so excited to see you."  A tear rolls down his cheek as he brokenly whispers the last part.

"God, Harry.  I'm so sorry.  We're getting so close though, yeah?  Just one and a half more months.  We're almost there.  And I'll see you at Ni's wedding on the 15 th in December and then you'll move back on New Year's and we can celebrate my 31st birthday and Christmas and New Year's together okay?  I'm going to take some time off in January so we can be together and celebrate your homecoming."  Louis rubs the fogginess from his own eyes.

"I-" Harry clears his throat, "I want to ask my boss and see if I can just have my last day be the 14 th so that when I drive up, I can just stay in Sydney." 

"That would be- that would cut two weeks off your job contract though.  Can you do that?"  Louis asks.

Harry outright laughs at that, wiping away the remains of tears from his cheeks.  "Lou, I can do whatever the fuck I want.  Contracts are more breakable than YouTube when a new music video comes out."

Louis chuckles and wipes away the rest of the moisture gathered at his eyes.  "Excuse me Mr. Contract Breaker.  Didn't realize I was talking to someone so capable."

Harry smiles fondly at him.  "I love you.  I'm really sorry for over reacting."

"It's okay babe.  I know it's not easy."  Louis pets Perry's head.  "I love you too."

"You're going to be 31 in a month."  Harry wiggles his eyebrows.

"God, this year's flown by."  Louis leans his head back against the concrete wall.

"For you maybe.  It's been NeverEnding fucking Story for me over here."  Harry complains.

"Does that mean you'll show up on my doorstep on a giant white dragon?"  Louis laughs.

"Yep.  I'll chase all my bullies down the alley-way too and scare the shit outta them.  Revenge is always worth it."  Harry jokes.

"Oh my hell, you're ridiculous."  Louis rolls his eyes.

"I know.  Now give my platypus a billion kisses for me, and call me when you're indecent.  I need to go make dinner in the meantime."  Harry blows him a kiss.  "Love you baby."

"Love you too."  Louis smiles.

"Oh- I was talking to Perry- but I love you too."  Harry winks at him.

"Bloody wanker."  Louis scrunches his nose at Harry.  "I'll call you later."

"Mmkay; and I'll call my boss and ask about my contract through December."  Harry looks off screen at something, then back at Louis.  "I'll text you as soon as I know.  Love you forever."

"Love you too.  Bye."  Louis sighs as he hangs up and continues petting Perry.

The Platitat is silent and Louis figures Zayn will be here soon.  He gets up to sit on his lawn chair again.

"It's only a month and a half till we see him.  We can do it."  Louis says to the monotreme.

Perry grunts in agreement.

"Then you'll completely ditch me and go back to giving all your love and affection to him, huh?"  Louis accuses.

Perry flips his tail onto Louis' lap. 

"So sassy."  Louis reprimands.  "I don't blame you though.  I'll be doing the same."

Louis' phone vibrates in his pocket and he picks it up to see a new text from Harry.

**Coming home Dec 15 for good <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3**

~~~


	60. Chapter 59

A/N: I'm in an update-y mood. So here y'all go ❤️                  

~~~

There's a veggie burger on the grill outside and Barbara is only in bikini bottoms with the grill spatula in one hand and the other one on her hips while she sways back and forth to the progressive music playing through the speakers in the Horan backyard.

Louis pointedly stares at the circular fireplace in front of him.  "Are you, eherm, sure I can't get you a shirt or anything?"

Barbara turns around and waves Louis off.  "Don't be ridiculous.  I told you I can't be getting any tan lines or else I'll look awful in my dress."

"Right."  Louis dry swallows.  "Should I um, go wait inside?"

"Not unless you want to.  But it's a beautiful day out and you could certainly go for a little sun too."  Barbara flips the patty, then picks up her mojito and comes to sit by Louis.

"And Niall is...?"  Louis does everything in his power to keep tunnel vision on a ladybird that is currently climbing the fire pit.

"Oh he's out taking a walk with the kids.  He'll be back soon though."  Barbara sips at her drink.  Louis knows only because he can hear her do so.

"So is this your normal... attire for when other guests are over?"  Louis itches his nose.

"Only since he's proposed.  Niall shares a similar view on tan lines as me, and he wants me looking perfect for our honeymoon too."  Barbara sets her mojito to the side.  "Oh God, I just realized- you're not uncomfortable are you?  Most men just- I'm sorry." 

Barbara stands up to leave, but Louis grabs her hand and looks up at her face.  "No, no.  It's fine.  It's your house.  I've just never seen um..."

Barbara's face falls into something of wonderment.  "You've never seen boobs before?"

"Not in real life, no.  I mean, there were always ads on the internet."  Louis lets go of her hand and clears his throat.  "It's fine.  Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Don't be ridiculous!  I feel so inconsiderate for not even thinking about it.  I'm sorry Louis."  Barbara apologizes and holds a hand over her chest.

"No seriously, it's fine."  Louis is bright red and feels completely stupid. 

He stares at a blade of grass poking up through the patio.  He shouldn't have said or done anything.  He should have refused the veggie burger.  He shouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.  He will never live this mortification down.

"Okay..."  Barbara trails off unsurely.  "May I ask you a personal question Louis?"

Louis just nods his head.

"How did you know you were gay?"  The cushions release air as she leans back into them.

"Oh.  Well."  Louis pauses a moment.  "I never really knew anything different.  Kissing was never a priority of mine when I was 13 and 14 like it was for all the other lads my age.  I had too many other things on my mind."  Louis grabs his long abandoned mojito on the table next to his lounger and takes a sip.  "I think like, my sex drive really kicked in when I was 16 and when I started looking for an outlet, I just automatically went to Zayn because I loved and trusted him, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."  Barbara pulls a leg up on the sofa to sit more comfortably.

"I never really thought of myself as gay or straight.  I just always loved Zayn; but when he started dating someone else, there was another guy, Mark, who expressed interest in me, so I thought, why not?  After that I wasn't interested in being with anyone but Zayn anyway and after seeing Zayn's relationships with women, I have just always thought girls were a little too complex- no offense."  He jerks his head up to give her an apologetic look.

"Oh it's fine!  Girls are definitely complicated.  I don't blame you."  Barbara empathizes.

"Louis!  You look like you've just seen a ghost!  What's good my brotha?"  Niall opens the French doors and enters the patio with three sets of yappy dogs on his heels.

Niall walks over to hug him, and Louis stands to give him a hug.  "Hey.  How was the walk?"

"Was great!  Barbie been keeping you entertained?"  Niall walks over to Barbara to give her a long kiss to the mouth.

"Yes.  Always the hostess.  Making me lunch and whatnot."  Louis motions to the grill mostly to give himself something to do.

"Good."  Niall gives her a small smack to the bum and she returns to grilling Louis' food.  Niall takes the seat next to Louis.  "How are you and Harry doing?"

Louis' body warms up instantly and he feels like buckets of love are being dumped over his head.  "We're really, really good.  Been to Brisbane twice and everything's good now.  We're moving in together when he gets back."

Niall gives him a pat on his thigh.  "That's amazing mate.  I'm so happy you worked things through.  You certainly spent enough weekends moping about."

Louis chuckles.  "I know, I know.  He's actually coming up for the wedding.  He's stoked for you two."

"Aw I love that boy.  Good choice Lou.  I did have something I wanted to ask you about by the way."  Niall says.

"Okay..?"  Louis feels relieved that he can look Niall in the face while talking to him.

"I don't mean to spring this on you.  Our wedding is... shit."  Niall turns and addresses Barbara.  "When is our wedding honey?"

"December 15th hun!"  She calls back.

"Fuck."  Niall runs a hand through his hair.  "Our wedding is three weeks away, and one of my groomsman just had his sister diagnosed as terminally ill and is spending some time with her before she passes- she lives in Italy- anyway... I don't mean to make you out to be a replacement by any means, but Barbie and I were originally just sticking to family for the bridal party and now I have any empty spot and I just figured, who better to ask than someone who is like a brother to me?"

Louis' eyes widen significantly.  "You don't- I mean, what about like... I'm sure you have so many other more important friends than me."

"Their business is more important than taking time off to fly to Australia, so they won't be attending.  I've known you for what- seven years now?  You've always been there for me and helped me through shit that no one else can even fathom.  I consider you one of my most important friends."  Niall says.

Niall vacations with girlfriend in Aruba.  Niall owns a mansion.  Niall runs a worldwide business selling drugs.  Louis is 110 percent sure that he has to have a million other friends who are more important and wealthier and posher than Louis.

Louis tries scraping some dried platypus shit off his work shorts with his over grown fingernails and flicks his eyes up to Niall.  "God yeah, Niall.  Of course.  I'm so- I'm really honored.  I don't know what to say." 

Along with that, Louis can't push away the very clear memory of putting his one and only tux into a charitable donations bin while making room in his closet for Harry's clothes.  Maybe he can borrow one of Harry's tuxes.  Louis' sure he's got some that will fit him.  Or Zayn.  Zayn might have an extra.

Niall shifts around his back pocket and pulls out his wallet.  "Here's your prepaid card then.  I put some more on it so you can have the suit expedited.  I'm doing it for all my groomsmen, so don't feel too special."  Niall hands him a card.

"Um."  Louis takes it and stares at the American Express card, most logical words leaving his brain.  "What's like, the theme or whatever?"

"I'll have Barbie's maid of honor send you the details.  Which... there's another thing too."  Niall lowers his voice.

"Okay?"  Louis leans in a little closer.

"Barbie's sister Brooke."  Niall pauses to grimace.  "Anyway, they've mended things as of yesterday, so that also adds an additional girl to the bride's maids.  Which means I need another groomsman.  I'm a bit in between a rock and a hard place with this one because the next two people on my list are Harry and Zayn.  I'm just not sure which to choose, seeing as the circumstances are the way they are."

"I know the feeling."  Louis chuckles and Niall along with him.  "Um.  Well, who would you rather it be?"

"I'm straight up sixes either way mate.  I love the shit outta your boyfriend, but I've known Zayn for longer.  I don't want either feeling left out."  Niall purses his lips.

"Well, why not ask Zayn first?  He may not even want to because Brooke will be in the bridal party.  Then you can always ask Harry if he says no.  They've both still love you either way."  Louis says.

"But I feel bad because Harry is making the trip down from Brisbane."  Niall argues.

"He never expected to be a groomsman anyway, so it's not like it'll be love lost between anyone."  Louis tries to console him.

"Jeez.  The three of you sure make a complicated mess."  Niall sighs.

Louis gives him a theatrical smile and Niall gets a laugh out of that.

"Well, looks like I have some shopping to do.  How joyous for me."  Louis says.

Barbara brings over his veggie burger wrapped in lettuce.  "You'll have fun dear.  My maid of honor will text you all the details and it will be easy as pie." 

"Thank you."  Louis takes the plate from her and wishes he had Harry here.

~~~

"So when are you going shopping for your tux?"  Harry's bright face lights up Louis' phone screen.

"I have no fucking clue.  The text that the girl sent me is gibberish and I don't even know where to go to get these kinds of things."  Louis pets Queen Gohma as she climbs up his chest.

"Let me call in reinforcements for you... Are you available next Saturday?"  The screen goes black as Harry exits out of FaceTime to use some other app on his phone.

"Um, after work, yeah."  Louis crosses his legs and makes a face at Gohma.  She tickles his skin with her pincers.

"Okay.  Block that off on your calendar because you now have a shopping date."  Harry's face returns on screen.

"Oh joy."  Louis rolls his eyes. 

"I, for one, am excited to see you in a suit.  And by excited I mean that's all I'll be fantasizing about until it happens.  So just think about how I can't wait to ravish you the day of Niall's wedding."  Harry grins.

Louis tries to make it look as if it doesn't make much of a difference to him.  "Hmm.  Maybe.  Don't know that it'll motivate me much."

Harry slits his eyes at Louis.  "Don't be difficult.  I have to go now though.  I'll talk to you later love."

"Bye honey munchkin.  Loves."  Louis makes a kissy face and Harry laughs.

"Loves."  Harry blows him a kiss back and then hangs up.

When Louis' phone goes back to the home screen, he taps on his Messages app where he has a new notification from a number he doesn't recognize.

**.....Louis??**

Louis blinks at the text a few times and then types a response.

**....Yes.  Who is this?**

He picks up Gohma to put her back in her terrarium and his phone buzzes.

**Gemma! Harry said you need help. Can I pick you up from work Saturday at 4?**

"Oh God."  Louis moans.  He supposes this is a good sign though.  Gemma doesn't hate him apparently.  He types his text back to her.

**Sounds great. See you then.**

~~~


	61. Chapter 60

~~~

**Louis: Help meeeeeeee DDD:**

**Harry: Just rip the band-aide off (; Stop making this difficult for yourself**

**Louis: Its difficult by nature. I can't even pronounce half this shit.**

**Harry: Say it with me.... Vur-saw-chay.**

**Louis: Vare-saagghh(e???)**

**Harry: And you call yourself fluent in Italian. I am ashamed.**

**Louis: I'm not fluent in designer snob.**

**Harry: :P Send me a nude from the dressing room :D**

**Louis: Your SISTER is in the dressing room with me and the guy is still here poking pins into my balls.**

"Louis!  Give me your phone."  Gemma holds her hand out.

"Please.  It's my only source of normalcy right now.  I don't even know what language you guys are speaking."  Louis pleads.

"French.  Francois was just telling me how he used to work for Lanvin in Paris for 15 years and then he moved here because he met his wife on a dating site."  Gemma motions with Louis' phone still in her hands at the man.

"Tell him I say congratulations."  Louis would maybe be happier for the sweet story of love, but it's been three hours of deciphering shades of blue and black and Tom still isn't eating.

"You can tell me yourself sir.  I do speak English."  Francois says in a thick accent.

"Of course.  Apologies."  It's not Louis' fault that he didn't know.  Gemma literally dragged him into the store and started spouting off in French like they were living in the Palace of Versallias.

"No offense taken monsieur."  The French man follows his words with a sharp pin jab to Louis' thigh.

"Shit!"  Louis flinches.

"Hold still please.  I will get incorrect measurements if you move."  Francois says boredly.

Gemma gives him a look, and Louis sighs.

Luckily it's only another 20 minutes until Francois is finally done and Louis is left to get dressed into his work clothes again. 

When he exits the dressing room, Gemma gives him his phone back and the wardrobe assistant takes his card to run the total on it that Louis refuses to acknowledge.

"See, that wasn't too bad, was it?"  Gemma gives Louis a pat on the back.

Louis raises his eyebrows to look excited.  "Oh yeah, can't wait to do it again.  When are you free next?"

Gemma gives him a shove to the shoulder.  "Actually do you have plans for the rest of the night?"

"Eherm."  Louis acts like he has a life outside of the Platitat and Harry.  "Nothing comes to mind... I think I'm free.  Why?"

"We should grab a bite if you want."  Gemma suggests.

"Sure."  Louis pulls out his phone to let Harry know that he'll be preoccupied with Gemma for the rest of the evening.

"But first, I need a picture with you in front of the sign.  Harry will be so disappointed I didn't get you in Sand.  He's been on a Danish kick lately and my father disapproves highly."  Gemma pulls Louis in front of one of the racks that reads _Versace_ then holds her phone up and changes it to the front facing camera.  "Okay, big smile." 

Louis crosses his eyes, smiles, and points at Gemma.

Gemma laughs as the shutter goes off, and they both look at the selfie.

"You look ridiculous."  Gemma chuckles.

"I am a platypus handler in David Jones.  Of course I look ridiculous."  Louis rolls his eyes.

"Okay, I'm sending this to Haz, we're getting you something to change into, and then we'll go eat.  Sound good?"  Gemma types away on her phone.

"I thought you were like, banned from talking to Harry?"  Louis asks while being dragged into a casual section of the store.

"I got my own phone plan with Cooper so my mom can't say shit about it anymore."  Gemma holds a graphic tee up next to Louis' face.  "Do you have a preference on anything?"

"Clothes?"  Louis side eyes the shirt that looks like an atomic bomb exploding.  "Something less busy perhaps?"

Gemma takes her bottom lip between her teeth like Louis has seen Harry do many times.  "Good call.  I'm thinking business casual.  Maybe Calvin Klein."

Louis gives her a deadpan look.  "Is it really that important?  If my clothes are that offensive to you, I can go run to a Kmart or something.  I have a few things I'm saving for, so this isn't really in my budget plan."

"I'm buying because you look like you could use some professional help."  Gemma drags Louis over to the giant CK logo.  "What are you saving for if you don't mind me asking?"  A two-toned shirt is held up against Louis and tossed onto the check-out counter.

"Um."  Maybe if Louis just doesn't say anything, he won't have to lie.

Next is a pair of khaki Chinos that Louis squints at, but Gemma throws on the check-out counter anyway.  "'Um.'  Sounds fascinating."  Gemma teases.  "Is it a secret?"

"Yeah."  Louis says, wringing his wrists.

Gemma pauses before grabbing some loafers to look skeptically at Louis.  "I'm a good secret keeper you know?"

And maybe... Maybe Gemma will actually be able to help him.  When he finally came down off of his high, the prospect of finding the perfect ring for Harry scared the shit out of him. 

Zayn hasn't said much about Louis' intended proposal since he practically screamed it in his face the morning he arrived back home.  Looking back, Louis definitely could have gone about the situation a thousand times more tactfully, but he tries not to hold it against himself too much.  It's a rare occurrence where he's so excited that he can't help himself.

And it's not that he _expected_ Zayn to offer his services in ring shopping or anything.  Louis just expected Zayn to offer his services in ring shopping with him. 

"Like a really good secret keeper?  Because it's about Harry..."  Louis picks at the hem of his shorts- damn it, he's picking up Harry's nervous habits.

Gemma raises an eyebrow.  "I am the best secret keeper when it involves Harry."

Louis opens his mouth to say the words, and before they're even out, the biggest smile erupts on his face.  "I'm going to propose to Harry.  I'm saving up for a ring."

Louis is still smiling, but Gemma isn't. 

Gemma blinks at him a few times before turning around to pay the lady behind the counter, then handing Louis his new clothes.  "Go change in one of their dressing rooms."

Louis' face falls and he feels more than a little nauseous.  He takes the clothes and tries not to look at himself in the mirror as he changes. 

Fuck, he expected hate from Desmond, but not Gemma. 

Louis wonders if it is a good idea in the first place.  That whole trip to Brisbane was just an emotional high anyway.  It wasn't real life.  He simply got carried away and caught up in the moment. 

A reality check is what he needed in all honesty.  He's glad he told Gemma so he could get that from her. 

He shakes off the disappointment that floods his body and does the last button of his shirt up and steps out of the dressing room.

"Do you like sushi?"  Gemma asks.

Louis puts on his presenting face.  "Love it." 

~~~

Once they're seated at the restaurant, Louis decides he's glad he has some nicer clothes to be out in.  He never paid it much mind before; but he thinks the idea of dressing nice for fancier outings is a positive improvement he can implement from now on.  Granted, he won't be shopping at David Jones on his own accord; but he did notice some nice button ups on sale at Kmart the other week.

Their car ride was silent, and Gemma hasn't spoken to him since asking if he likes sushi. 

Once the waitress takes their orders though, it seems Gemma is ready to talk to him again, as she has pulled her Prada sunglasses off and set them on the table. 

"You said you were saving up for a ring to propose to my little brother?"  Gemma's green eyes pierce into his from across the table.

An interrogation.  Great.  Louis deserves this after everything anyway. 

"I dunno.  I just meant like... way in the future I guess.  I don't even know anymore."  Louis mumbles.

Gemma clasps her hands on top of the table.  "You think you even have the _right_ to think about marrying my brother after what you did to him?"

"I..."  Louis trails off dumbly.

"You what?  You broke his fucking heart!"  Gemma yells with no regard to the people surrounding them.  "The _one_ phone call our mum allowed us in June after I hadn't talked to him for half a year was spent bawling his eyes out because you couldn't do something as simple as answer a fucking phone call."

Louis swallows dryly.

"Then you waltz up to Brisbane because _you_ felt bad.  Because _you_ missed him.  Because _you_ were in the mood to make the drive that night."  Gemma says.

Louis looks down at the table.  "I know I was selfish.  I'm sor-"

"I wasn't finished!"  Gemma cuts him off.

Louis shuts up.

"Maybe that wouldn't bother me as much as it does except for the fact that your entire relationship started around terms of _you_.  When _you_ were ready to let Harry love you.  When _you_ were ready to be intimate with him.  When _you_ were ready to ask him to be your boyfriend."  Gemma's red lips twitch upward.  "I don't know about you, but I see a very common theme through all of that, don't you?"

Louis looks up to give her a harsh look and stand up for himself.  "That's not entirely fair to say.  I'm a different person than Harry and we move at completely different rates.  He knew I was hesitant and didn't have a problem being patient with me, so it's not fair of you to judge the rate at which our relationship developed."

"Oh, I have no problem how fast or slow you guys decide to go.  What I do have a problem with is Harry always being the one to compromise for _you_.  You never compromise for him."  Gemma states.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you really don't know what you're talking about.  You don't know me."  Louis defends.

"I know plenty about you Louis.  I'm the one Harry talks to.  I know _everything_ about you.  You know though?  Maybe I am missing something."  Gemma pauses.  "If you can tell me three things that you've compromised on for Harry, I'll be happy to apologize for this entire conversation."

Louis opens his mouth to retort and closes it again because he has to think about it. 

From the moment they met Louis has always erred on the side of slow and cautious because it's the way he is most comfortable doing things.  Sure, Louis did a couple things out of his comfort zone with a push from Zayn- like invite Harry to Blue Grounds that first night over for a sleepover later.  Louis even went out on a limb and shared his past with Harry.  He supposes that can count as one.  Louis compromised his previous promise to die alone and opened up to Harry for both of their sakes.  Though... does that make it a compromise if it benefits them both?

Everything physical was certainly with either Louis' consent or a mutual decision between the both of them.  It's not like there was compromise when Zayn was involved because it was, after all, mutual then as well.

Louis has always been vigilant on buying his own things, except lately it's been a little easier to accept things from people.  When did that start?

"Our pet tarantula.  I compromised with him when we bought our tarantula.  I didn't want to let him pay for it, but I did."  Louis says confidently.

Gemma raises her eyebrows, unimpressed.  "You let him buy you something once."

"You know what Gemma?"  Louis purses his lips.  "I may not be the best at compromising or making the best decisions all the time.  I'm just trying to figure all of this out too.  It's been almost a decade since I've formally been with anyone and I've _definitely_ never been with anyone like Harry.  Harry is the best thing to ever happen to me, and he loves me despite the stupid things I do and the time frame in which I take to do them.  He does have a problem with the fact that I've missed out on so much of his life, and you know what?  That's fine.  I deserve to be hated and shunned and slapped on the wrists for that.  I was scared and selfish and ignorant, but in spite of _all of that_ , Harry _still_ loves me because I know how to apologize when I've majorly fucked up.  Maybe I'm not good enough for you, but I know I'm good enough for him." 

Gemma doesn't say anything for a long moment and she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry for hurting your brother.  I truly am.  I wish I would have been smarter and not wasted my already limited time I've given myself on this stupid earth; but what's done is done and I'm just trying to make the most out of what's left of it.  I'd really love if we were able to get along because I know how close you and Harry are and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon so I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of each other."  Louis says.

The waitress drops off their drinks without a word to either of them and Gemma takes a sip of hers.

"So how do I know you're not going to hurt Harry again?"  Gemma asks.

"I honestly don't know."  Louis shrugs.  "It's like I told your father, the only thing I can promise is that I won't make the same mistake twice, and I know I'll never choose something else over Harry ever again."

Gemma furrows her eyebrows.  "You told my father what?"

"I told him I was sorry for messing up and that I wouldn't make the same mistake twice."  Louis repeats.

"Harry never said anything about that."  Gemma says.

"He was outside.  Your father wanted to talk to me alone, so that's what I told him and also that I was sorry for impersonating one of his sons.  Then I asked his for blessing in asking Harry to marry me."  Louis recounts the night full of sweat stains and melted ice cream.

"You what?!  What did he say?"  Gemma leans forward with eyeballs that look ready to jump out of her sockets.

"He said yes."  Louis smiles at the memory.

"He said yes."  Gemma repeats.

Louis nods in confirmation.

"He said yes you could marry Harry and he's okay with it?"  Gemma reiterates.

"Yep."  Louis says for lack of a better answer.

"What the hell?  Why doesn't anyone tell me anything around here?"  Gemma exclaims.

"I just told-" Louis wants to point out, but Gemma cuts him off.

"When are you proposing?"  She asks wildly.

"I- uhhh..."  Louis says eloquently.

"Oh God, please tell me you're going to have a summer wedding.  I'm in _love_ with the summer fashion line that Burberry is releasing and _have_ to wear their newest peplum at a white tie event, plus the colors will be so beautiful!" 

"I wasn't planning on proposing for like, a couple years or sommat."  Louis says mostly to himself.

"Don't be daft!  You could ask him today over the phone and he'd say yes.  Why wait till you're one day closer to getting grey hair?"  Gemma rolls her eyes.

"I don't... know."  Louis says honestly.  "I mostly just want to get everything prepared so I can just propose when the time is right.  Maybe it'll be next week, maybe it'll be next year.  I dunno."

The waitress returns with their orders and places it in front of them.

"Well shit!  Let's eat the fuck out of this sushi and go ring shopping!"  Gemma aggressively skewers a roll and shoves it in her mouth.

Louis laughs and follows suit.

~~~

"No, no, no!  Stop trying to sell us this shit.  He said no."  Gemma yells at the jeweler. 

The man holds up the black tungsten ring.  "Sorry ma'am, but if you would only take a moment to look at the workmanship of-"

"I'm telling everyone I know to never come here!"  Gemma aggressively grabs Louis' arm and escorts him out of the store, Louis following like a small child. 

Once out on the street, Gemma drags Louis down the sideway.  "Oh my _God_ , could you _believe_ him?"

"I mean... he was just trying to do his job..."  Louis tries.

Louis has always been the person to let things go.  When his veggie burger comes with buns on it, he lets it slide.  It's not a big deal and doesn't really affect his life all that much.  Zayn is much the same way.

Harry was really Louis' first taste of someone to suggest doing things differently.  Whether it was pushing for him to go get a refund on his veggie burger with buns or Harry making people redo his clam chowder order more than once to get it right.  But even then, it wasn't anything paramount enough to concern Louis.

Gemma, however, is like Harry on steroids when it comes to her idea of customer service. 

It frightens Louis, really.

" _No_ , he actually was _not_ doing his job.  His _job_ is to help us find what we want; _not_ try and sell you what's going to help him hit his fucking sales goals for the week."  Gemma's Christian Louboutin heels smack against the concrete sidewalk.

Louis doesn't say anything because, yeah, it actually is how he felt; but obviously not to quite the extent Gemma did. 

If Louis' being honest, it's been intimidating so far.  They've been to four jewelers and none of them had rings that jump out to Louis as being something Harry would wear.  The girl's rings were all too thin and prissy and the men's were too bland and bulky or yacht-clubby (which Louis _definitely_ wanted to stay away from). 

Gemma knows it too, though, is the thing.  It took them exactly two minutes in each store to realize that none of them were _Harry_ enough.  Once they had looked through all the cases, Gemma gave Louis 'the look' and Louis had returned it with a subtle shake of his head.  Then it was off to the next store.

"Maybe we should try a different part of town...?"  Louis suggests not only for the sake of his wallet, but also because this side of town hasn't been filled with anything fruitful so far.  He's already planned on two meals of oatmeal a day and cutting down his gum and marijuana intake.  He should probably ask Conner for an advance at some point too. 

"Let's try one more place here.  It's a little more indie underground, but still good quality rings and complimentary lifetime cleanings."  Gemma pulls him into a smaller storefront that certainly looks less intimidating than some of the other ones they've just come from.

The man behind the counter is around Louis' age and has very pointed facial features and cropped, wispy blonde hair.  He walks around the counter to hold his hand out to them and speaks in a soft, melodic voice.  "Welcome.  My name is Lincoln.  How can I help you two today?"

"Hi.  I'm just looking for a ring for my boyfriend.  Haven't really found anything that suits him yet..."  Louis trails off.

"We've been put through the ringer today, so cut any preplanned bullshit please."  Gemma says dejectedly.

Louis wonders if Gemma intentionally made a pun or not, but Lincoln looks at her and nods very seriously like it's the most important information he's going to receive today.

"I'm terribly sorry to hear that."  His piercing sapphire eyes regard them both before he motions them over to a sitting area where there's a delicate fountain trickling alongside some sofas.  "Would you care for a drink and to chat for a moment?"

Gemma looks at Louis who is just staring a little dumbly at him.  Louis finally nods his head and walks over to the sitting area, Gemma taking a seat beside him.

Louis threads his fingers together, not realizing that his palms had gotten sweaty since entering the store.   

Gemma nudges him.  "You okay?"

Louis nods.

Lincoln brings them two fresh glasses of water with fresh slices of lime in them and sets them down silently on coasters for the two of them.  "Forgive me.  What are your names?" 

"Oh, I'm Louis."  Louis says.

"Gemma.  I'm the future sister-in-law."  Gemma says.

"Pleasure to meet you both."  Lincoln smiles softly.  "Louis, what is your boyfriend's name?"

"Harry.  Harry Styles."  He says like it's the answer to a quiz.

"Tell me a little bit about the two of you.  How did you meet?"  Lincoln crosses one knee over the other and leans back into the sofa with a pencil and pad in hand.

Louis smiles like it's the instant response to bringing up the topic of Harry.  "We met at work.  I run the platypus habitat at Taronga Zoo and Harry started as an intern.  We um, mostly just got to know each other really well that way.  He was-" Louis smiles at the memory of Harry once asking him about what his kinks were while he was prepping platypus food.  "He was so cheeky and forward, but like he was always trying to fit in at first because he used to be homeschooled.  He's really a nerd on the inside."  Louis chuckles.

"What kinds of things does he like?"  Lincoln asks while the graphite scratches at the paper on his pad.

"I mean, we love Zelda.  That was one of the first things we really had in common.  He loves fish and stuff, like he has an enormous aquarium at home and now he's a brilliant marine biologist and spends a lot of time in the ocean."  Louis' chest tightens at remembering the date Harry asked him on when they spent the night on the yacht and how beautiful Harry looked amongst the coral reef.  "He's so smart.  Like so intelligent.  He also like listening to Queen and has a thing for George Clooney."

He's not really sure why that's what came out, but it did and it's out there now. 

Gemma gives a hopeless sigh towards Louis. 

Lincoln nods though, taking it into consideration.  "May I see a picture of the two of you together?"

Louis blinks. 

Gemma stares at him.

Lincoln's ever-steady face even pulls into something a little like surprise.

"Seriously Louis?"  Gemma deadpans.

Louis feels like a failure boyfriend. 

"I have a picture of just him."  Louis offers. 

"That would be great."  Lincoln says.

Louis digs his phone out of his pocket, bypassing the new texts from Harry asking what he's doing and opens his photos.  Gemma leans over to look and Louis instantly shuts his phone off.

"Um, you probably... I just need to find it... It was a while back..."  Louis says, hoping that Gemma gets the memo.

"Oh God."  Gemma shudders and averts her gaze.

Louis opens the app again, scrolling up through dozens and dozens of pictures and videos of Harry- and his various body parts- naked.  He has the decency to chastise himself over it and makes a promise to himself to take more pictures of Harry with clothes on, because he really is just as gorgeous either way.  Louis just thinks about it more when he's naked and Harry sends him naked pictures most often.

He finally gets passed those and a large section of platypus photos and finds the selfie Harry took of himself back in January when he was driving up the coast to Brisbane.

It's a little whimsical.  Harry wearing his Wayfair Ray Bans and pursing his lips in a kiss with the ocean behind him, but it's the best Louis has right now.  He had changed it from his lock screen after Harry's birthday to a picture of Jerry, and before he hands the phone to Lincoln, he makes sure to set it as his background photo again.

"He looks very happy.  Very cute as well."  Lincoln hands the phone back to him.  "He wears necklaces?"

Louis glances down at the photo, realizing that Harry's silver chain is in clear view with his shirt being unbuttoned rather low.  "Yeah.  Well, he wears the same one all the time except when he's swimming.  It's a cross."

Lincoln hums.  "And do you know his ring size?"

Louis' jaw opens, because fuck.  How is he supposed to get a fucking ring without knowing his ring size?

"Size 10."  Gemma speaks up.

Louis looks at Gemma like she's just done the funky chicken on top of the sofa.  "How do you know that?"

"You think my gay brother hasn't ever dragged me ring shopping before?  We used to go all the time and fantasize about our weddings together."  Gemma says.

Louis definitely recruited the right person for help.

Lincoln makes one last note on his notepad and sets it down on his lap.  He looks directly at Louis.  Louis self-consciously starts sweating a little again, pulling at the stiff fabric of the new Calvin Klein shirt he has on.

"Louis, I'm feeling very bright vibes from Harry.  He seems energetic and adventurous.  I think what you're looking for in a ring is something that will err on the side of custom made."  Lincoln says.

"Okay...?"  This is definitely a different direction than any of their other tries have been at finding a ring.

Lincoln leans forward a little.  "I look in your eyes and see the same blue that Harry surrounds himself in as a marine biologist.  He knows chic and classic, but not to the point to where he lets it go understated.  There are edges to his personality, but not so many that it's the first thing revealed to the naked eye.  I feel two strong, but cohesive vibes that differ, but blend together to make Harry the human that he is."  

Gemma leans in to whisper in Louis' ear.  "Damn."

Louis concurs.

"You uh, you're definitely right; but how does that help you?"  Louis asks.

"As I don't see a focal point to Harry's personality, I instead see a harmony of the aspects that play together to make him spectacular.  In terms of a ring, I see vivid sapphires as the main stones.  Three perhaps.  Separating the sapphires should be something to represent those edges.  Something in maybe a light gold.  It doesn't detract from the azure, but rather, enhances it.  I don't see the band as one thick unit, but rather two thinner, silver ones to hold the focal point in place."  Lincoln hands his notepad to Louis.

Lincoln, apparently, wasn't writing anything at all, but instead drawing.  There's a beautiful picture of a ring that is just _so_ close to something right.

"Yes- yes, this is great just-" Louis racks his brain for the familiarity.  "Oh my God, hang on!"

Louis unpockets his phone and with a quick Google search pulls up the picture he's looking for and hands it to Lincoln.

"The Zora Sapphire.  Your drawing looks almost identical to it.  It- it's perfect... could we do that?  It won't look tacky?  I mean, you're a jeweler and you basically came up with this just from your brain, right?"  Louis rushes out.

Lincoln smiles and sighs.  "Ah yes, it is perfect.  It will be beautiful."

Louis looks to Gemma for approval, and Gemma crushes him in a hug.

~~~


	62. Chapter 61

A/N: Can we take a moment to admire how handsome the men of 1D are? Okay. Good. Continue reading <3                  

~~~

Louis wakes up to his house being invaded by what sounds like 500 chickens running from a fire. 

He sits straight up, trying to remember what time and day it is and why Chicken Invaders has become a real thing happening in his household.  His alarm goes off at the same time, blinking a huge **NIALLS WEDDING TODAY WAKE THE FUCK UP** along with it.

If it's 6am on Niall's wedding day, that must mean the noise coming down the hall is-

"Louis!  Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis!"  Harry bursts through his door. 

Louis screams and pulls his dark duvet up as protection as Harry's weight comes pummeling down on top of him.  It's dark under the covers because Harry has managed to trap Louis beneath them.

"I'm home!  I'm home!  I'm _home!_ "  Harry bounces up and down on top of him and Louis thinks morning sickness is very much about to be a thing that is happening. 

"Ha-Haz."  Louis bats his hands around to try and free himself from the smothering, but to no avail, as one of Harry's shins has his arms pinned to the mattress.

There's shuffling of body weight and sheets and Harry's shoe accidentally hits Louis' bad shin, eliciting a grunt from Louis, but it's gone a moment later, and then his vision is flooded with light.

Harry grins like an absolute maniac above him, curls falling out of what's left of his bun and dark circles under his eyes. 

"Holy shit."  Louis croaks as his eyes resist opening all the way.  "I'm fucking tired." 

And he is.  He stayed up as long as he could last night to stay on the phone with Harry while he was driving.  He thinks he fell asleep around 2am when Harry was telling him a beautifully long-winded story about re-growing part of the coral reef using people's cremated ashes.

Harry jumps on top of him again.  "And I'm fucking lit!  I brought a Red Bull for you too because I knew you'd be tired!"

"Hazzie, you're gonna crash in like, two hours."  Louis states.

"That gives me enough time for a one-hour nap in between when we have to be at Niall's!"  Harry heaves Louis up and pulls his shirt off him. 

"I'm really excited to see you- can I just have like 30 more minutes to sleep please?"  Louis protests.

"Don't be a Zayn!"  Harry exclaims.

There's a faint 'asshole' that can be heard from across the hall and Louis and Harry laugh.

"Here, open up!"  Harry pulls a Red Bull from his back pocket and- what the fuck?

Louis squints his eyes.  "Why do you-"

Harry snaps the top open and holds it up to Louis' mouth and tips it back.

Louis tries to catch some with his mouth, but a good amount of it dribbles down his chin and neck, and onto his torso.  He swallows and chokes on the taste of straight sugar.  "'M gonna fucking die from liver failure."

"Then die with meeeeeee!"  Harry shoves the can into Louis' hand and hops off the bed to strip his clothes off.

"Holy God."  Louis was not prepared for this kind of morning.  Nor this kind of arrival. 

In his brain he pictured it as something like Harry quietly making his way through the house to gently sneak into bed and spoon up next to Louis.  Louis would wake up to the soft tickle of curls on his face and the lovely smell of his beloved.  Maybe they would have a morning make out in the shower, then enjoy some steeped tea while Louis enjoys the look of Harry in their kitchen again.  After that, they would make their way over to Niall's and smoke a joint while helping set up for the day's festivities.

Harry stark naked and now blasting classic rock at 6 in the morning while forcing Louis to ingest liquid Taurine is certainly not what he had in mind.

There's a 6-pack of Red Bull that gets thrust onto his nightstand, knocking over his collection of supplements and Louis briefly considers making a run for it.  Harry pulls out another can of Red Bull to chug half of it.

Louis sits up and tries taking the can from him.  "Haz!  How many have you had?  You really should stop."

"I've had one almost every hour since I left!"  Harry laughs.

"Harry, your heart is gonna stop if you keep drinking them at this rate."  Louis truly is concerned at this point because it's a terrible thing to do to one's body.

"I'm fine!  I've been drinking a shit ton of water and pissing, so I'm good!"  Harry straddles Louis, and backs him up against the headboard, a little bit of liquid spilling over the top of their cans.

Louis holds Harry's chest back with a hand.  "Zayn's still asleep Harry, we should really turn the music-"

"Fuck Zayn!  I've been here almost two minutes and I haven't even gotten a kiss from my boyfriend yet!"  And with that, Harry completely traps Louis between himself and their headboard and Louis tastes sugar, sugar, sugar.

It tastes good really.  Harry, honestly, is what tastes good.  He can feel a zip of caffeine through his body as Harry's saliva- oversaturated with it- mixes into his mouth.  So Louis pulls Harry in a little deeper for the kiss until Harry's deep enough with his tongue to where he's licking the back of Louis' throat.

A little more encouragement with the help of Harry grinding their crotches together is what gets Louis moving.  He pulls Harry's face away so that their teeth won't clash, as he needs some rough friction at the moment.  Louis digs his thumbnails into the kelp that adorns Harry's hipbones, and the rest in the taut skin where Harry's love handles used to be.  He pushes his hardness up into Harry.

"Oh _God_ , _Louis_!"  Harry moans like he's in a porn film.

"Christ, Harry."  Louis pushes Harry onto his back, Harry's drink spilling all over his bed.  Louis doesn't care much at the moment.  Nor does he really want to keep holding on to his own drink, so instead he chugs it in one go, then tosses the empty can somewhere on his floor.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!"  Harry demands.

Louis rushes to kiss him frantically some more and he gets Harry's tongue as far down his throat as he can manage.  Harry's cold hands are all over Louis from tweaking his nipples, to shoving them into his pajama bottoms and squeezing as much bum as he can.  Louis uses one hand to steady himself on the bed and the other is tangled in Harry's curls.

Harry slowly wriggles Louis' pajamas off his bum, but they get caught on the very stiff erection Louis has, so he parts their hips to allow Harry to properly pull them down.

"God Louis, I missed you so much."  Harry bites into his neck.  "This is so much better than Skype sex." 

"Missed you too."  Louis moans out at the pain in his neck, then pulls back to bend Harry's knees up to his chest.  "Missed this." 

 _Good hell_ , did he miss this.  Louis feels down the backs of his thighs and rubs his fingers along the crevices of Harry's ass.

Louis breaks contact to reach into his nightstand drawer for the lube and squirts some into his fingers.  He places himself above Harry again- Harry still with his knees pressed to his chest- and Louis circles a finger around before pushing in.

"Fuck.  Yes, yes."  Harry moans.

Louis mouths against Harry's lips to swallow the words, and pushes another finger in.

"Shit!  Louis, Louis-" Harry's incomplete sentence is smothered out by Louis' tongue swiping the roof of Harry's mouth.

"Want more?"  Louis moves his lips to Harry's ear and bites at his earlobe.

"Please yes.  I can take you now- please-" Harry babbles.

Louis sits back on his haunches and lines himself up with Harry who is already slicked enough from lube and pushes all the way in with one smooth motion.  Harry is tight around him as always and he moves to continue stretching Harry and to relieve some of the pressure on his own cock.

"Harder."  Harry palms and squeezes at the sides of Louis' hips.  "Harder Lou."

The music pounds at his head, and he lets himself be a little rougher when pushing into Harry.  "How much harder do you want it, hmm?"  Louis cups a hand around the swell of Harry's ass that's raised off the bed, pinches in crescent-shaped marks in, and drags his nails along the skin until he can feel some curl underneath his nails.

"God, just- _harder_."  Harry squeezes tight around Louis.  " _Please_ spank me."

There's bright red tracks along Harry's ass now with a couple dots of blood where the skin broke.  For a moment- and only a moment- Louis wishes he could call out for Zayn to come in and give it to Harry like Louis knows he couldn't and wouldn't do by himself.  Louis' just never been able to imagine inflicting any kind of real pain on Harry. 

But it's after that moment passes that Louis realizes that it really is all for Harry's pleasure.  It's a weird line, and still not one that Louis fully can see clearly, but he knows it's what makes Harry happy, and _goddamnit_ , he's going to make his boyfriend happy by himself. 

With a stroke of confidence and surely caffeine and bass-heavy music, he grabs Harry's leg to stretch the muscle precariously, but in such a way to where it lifts Harry's ass off the bed more, and lands the hardest slap he can manage against the raised red tracks of his nails on Harry's ass.

" _Ahh yeah_ \- shit- Godding- _fucker_!"  Harry moans out.

"Fucking, _fucking_ hell!"  Louis slumps over onto Harry and shakes out his hand.  "Oh my _God_ that hurt!"

Not that Louis would have any reason for knowing or asking, but nobody ever told him slapping someone else's skin would hurt like a bitch.  He thinks it's probably _not_ something he'd like to do again.

"God _damn_ it."  Louis mumbles to himself.  He can't even hold himself up with that hand anymore.  It's numb and prickly and he can't curl or flex his fingers.  It's basically useless.

"One more time Lou- one more."  Harry begs with swollen lips.  "It'll hurt less the second time I swear."

Jesus, the things he does for this boy.

He thinks he could probably add this to Gemma's list of compromises. 

No, he _knows_ with certainty this will be added to Gemma's list of compromises.

It's too bad he won't ever be able to disclose said compromise to Gemma.  Well, he _could_ , but-

Louis shakes off the mental rant.  "Yeah babe, hang on- hang on."  He really needs to give his hand some time to recover some because holy _shit_ , is this normal or is he still oversensitive to pain?

In the meantime, Louis uses his other hand to yank harshly at the roots of Harry's hair that still remain tied up in a bun.  Harry's neck is skewed into what looks like a terribly uncomfortable position considering his knees are up by his head as well, but Harry, unsurprisingly, seems to be into it all the more because of that.

"Jesus, I'm so close Louis.  You're so good, _so_ fucking- good oh my God Louis-" Harry rambles.

"Me too- 'm close, yeah."  Louis grits his teeth and focuses on chasing the building orgasm in his abdomen. 

Through the music and the sex though, Louis still manages to hear the clattering of pots and pans in the kitchen, knowing it's Liam and Zayn making breakfast because they surely can't sleep passed this.  And it's definitely selfish, but Louis has had to sit through and listen to some God-awful sex sessions from those two, so he doesn't find it within himself to feel the least bit bad about waking them up at 6am with his boyfriend screaming profanities. 

In fact, he just kind of-

"Louder Harry!  I want to hear you scream."  Louis commands as he thrusts harder into him.

"God Louis!  Shit damn it!  Fuck me harder!  Fu-fuck!"  Harry's entire body is coated in sweat and he's fisting the sheets now, not paying his now-purple cock any mind.  "I'm so close!  Fuck, _Louis_ , just-"

So Louis does it again, and slaps Harry's ass in the exact same spot as before.  His hand feels like it's on fire all over again, and he decides that Harry is a big fat liar. But it doesn't matter much at the moment because Harry is coming.

"Ah _fuck_!  Shi- fu-fuck!  _God_ yes Louis!  Oh _God_!"  Every muscle in Harry's body is clenched impossibly tight from his abs to his biceps to the lines on his forehead.  White streaks from his hips upward to his chin and onto the bedsheets behind him.

Louis watches as Harry opens his eyes and his eyelashes fan upward.  His pupils are blown completely wide and glossed over and he looks at Louis a little like he's an angel.  What he surely doesn't realize in his post-orgasmic state, is that Harry is the most angelic being Louis will ever know in his entire life.

Louis touches him softly, just to touch, as the tension builds more and more even though he's slowing the pace of his hips.  "I love you so much Harry."

Harry's lips fall into a dopey smile and he intertwines hands with Louis.  When he speaks, it's slow and slurred and incomplete.  "I love you too Louis.  Forever.  I love you so much forever."

Louis leans up to kiss him and it's just so sweet and so good and Harry is so wonderful and will be there forever.  The warmth and goodness and love fills him as his lips slide along Harry's cheek and his hips stutter to compensate for his body seizing in an orgasm.

He pants open-mouthed against Harry's neck, and when Harry makes to move, Louis rests a hand on his chest.  "Hang on a minute.  I just- I really love feeling this close to you."

Harry wraps his arms around Louis and hugs him close.  Louis lets his racing heart calm down pressed right next to Harry's. 

Louis giggles a little bit into Harry's ear.

"Mm, what?"  Harry mumbles.

"No sense of moderation whatsoever.  That was insane.  You're insane."  Louis chuckles.

"'M not insane."  Harry pouts.

"You had a 12 pack of Red Bull to keep yourself awake for the drive here then knock my door down for the roughest sex I've ever had in my entire life."  Louis pulls himself out and off of Harry.  "I think you're a little bit insane."

"I'm just keeping you on your toes."  Harry smiles lazily.

"Gonna be young forever at this rate.  Maybe it is good I keep you around."  Louis thinks he just wants to go to bed now.  Probably go to bed forever.  But there's a wedding they have to be at, and if he naps now, the loudest foghorn in the world couldn't wake him up.

"I think I'm gonna take a nap-" Harry yawns.

"Fuck no."  Louis pulls him up.  "We're going out and having breakfast and we're not napping till this day is over."

"Oh my Gooood."  Harry groans.

"Don't be too excited for Niall.  Jeez."  Louis grabs the earlier discarded pajama pants that are still wet with stains of Red Bull.

Harry flops off the bed and crawls to their armoire.  "My clothes."  He preens as he opens one of the drawers.  "The rest of my clothes are still here."

"Of course you dork."  Louis notes Harry's dark red bum cheek that is currently sticking in his direction.  "Should I get some lotion for that?"

Harry pulls his favorite plaid pair of pajama bottoms out of the drawer and shakes his head.  "Lotion burns because of the alcohol.  Oil is better.  'S okay though.  I don't need any this time.  You only did it twice."

Only twice indeed.  Twice times too many Louis thinks.

"I don't understand the masochism."  Louis says.

Harry's half bun droops as he swivels his head to look at Louis.  "I just think it feels good.  Like, really good."  Harry gives him a dopey grin.  "Sorry I asked you to do it again though.  I know it hurt you."  Harry shuffles over to Louis, still on his knees, and picks up Louis' hand to kiss the palm of it.

Harry's raw lips press against Louis' bright hand, and Louis caresses his face.  "I've just never been good at dealing with pain.  I mostly don't like feeling like I'm inflicting it on you."

"You don't have to do it if you don't want.  We can do slow, sensual, love-making the rest of our lives, and I could be content with that."  Harry kisses up Louis' arm.

Louis pushes his nose into Harry's mussed up hair.  "I'm willing to compromise for you Hazza.  Maybe just something a little less hands on...?  They have aids for that, right?"

"Like sex toys?"  Harry giggles.  "Are you going to tie me up and flog me Louis Tomlinson?"

Louis' eyes feel like they might burst from his skill.  "Oh my fuck, Hazza, _no_!"  He pulls Harry's face away to look him in the eyes.  "No babe."

Harry's face falls into something more somber when he sees how much the thought disturbs Louis.  "Sorry."

"No, don't apologize... Just..." Louis runs a hand through his hair, "I was thinking like, plastic pink nipple clamps or something.  They have those, right?"

Harry laughs and lets his face fall into Louis' lap.  "Yeah, they have those."

Louis noses at Harry's catastrophe hair again.  "Let's go eat.  Maybe Zayn and Liam made us some."  Louis pulls Harry up by the hand, and grabs a pair of sweat pants to put on.  "You might want to wipe the come off your chest before, though."

Harry looks down at his torso then back up to Louis.  "I like it there."

Louis rolls his eyes and grabs wipes up the mess with a handful of tissues.

"I think I need another Red Bull."  Harry groans.

"No.  You'll be ingesting alcohol in another few hours, and I won't have you mixing uppers and downers.  In fact, I want you drinking three bottles of water before we even show up if you think you can manage it."  Louis says as his feet make the hall floorboards creak.

"Yes mum."  Harry snickers.

In the kitchen, Zayn has a forkful of quiche in his mouth and Liam sits on the barstool next to two untouched plates of breakfast, his own already eaten. 

Liam swivels on the barstool to look at the two of them.  "In all fairness, we did deserve that.  Can we call it even?"

Louis grins.  "Oh but there are so many months to make up for.  So many things I wish I had never seen."

Liam turns crimson at that and gets up to wash his plate off.

Zayn and Harry are staring blankly at each other, until Zayn opens his arms.  "Get over here then."

Harry sprints into his arms and because they're pressed up against each other, Louis sees that Harry is now taller than Zayn.  Despite the height difference, Harry still resembles somewhat of a child when clinging onto Zayn.

Zayn smiles over Harry's shoulder at Louis and Liam, and Louis is really happy for him. 

Harry pulls away from Zayn and they just kind of smile at each other for a minute, then Zayn gives Harry a kiss on the cheek and his mussed up bun a ruffle.  "You've certainly grown into yourself.  Louis wasn't kidding."

"I'm taller than you now."  Harry grins so big his dimples look like they might pop outward.

"You better stop before you get too tall for our doorways."  Zayn teases.  "And you're much too tan for Sydney.  You look like a tourist."

Harry curls his lip out in a pout.  "I'm proud of my tan."

"Then don't look to me for mercy when people ask you where you're from."  Zayn laughs.

Harry rolls his eyes then turns to Liam.  "Liam mate, it's great to see you again."

Liam stands from his seat and gives Harry a hug.  "Great to see you too.  You look fit and well.  I take back any previous judgements I had towards Louis about liking younger boys."

Harry just laughs, but Louis' jaw drops a little bit. 

"Liam, I thought we were friends!"  Louis says with faux appall.

"We'll leave you two to your breakfast then.  We've got to get ready."  Zayn dumps the rest of his coffee in the sink.  "Harry if you let Louis ruin that tux before he even gets to Niall's, I'm skinning you alive."

Harry scoffs.  "You think I'm having him put it on _before_ we get there?"

"Hey."  Louis interjects.  "I'm a perfectly capable adult, who is completely able to take good care of nice things.  It's not like I'm going to go roll around in mud before we get in the car."

Liam shrugs.  "You never know mate.  You usually have more than mud on you when you come to the bar."

Louis sits down at the counter and stabs his quiche while everyone has a laugh at his expense.  He can't help from smiling though because finally home feels like home again.

Zayn and Liam leave, and Harry sits next to him, holding his right hand, so Louis switches to eating with his left.

"I love you."  Harry kisses his shoulder.

"I love you too."  Louis kisses his cheek.

After they eat, it's to the bathroom where they take a long shower together, an hour of Louis shaving off what's grown in on his beard, and then an hour in front of the mirror while Zayn and Harry style Louis' hair up into a quiff that he feels may make him match Harry in height. 

Liam brings them all a cup of coffee halfway through to keep their spirits up.  Harry seems to be taking everything in stride, not acting a bit like he's sleep deprived.  Louis, however, quickly downs the cup of coffee along with the refill that appears next to it in a matter of seconds.

Harry requests to use some of Zayn's caffeine concealer.  Which.  Louis just doesn't ask.

He does speak up when Harry asks about using Liam's concealer for Louis.  "I really am fine.  I don't need make up- especially not Liam's.  No offense Liam."

Zayn's already left to get it though, and Liam fills his mug of coffee again.  "No offense taken."

"Babe, you should put on just a little bit.  You've got bags under your eyes on account of me, and I'd hate for you to look back on the pictures and hate what you look like."  Harry says while dabbing Zayn's concealer under his eyes. 

Louis is maybe only a little jealous that Harry is tan enough to be able to use Zayn's make up.  Maybe he should start getting some sun.

"Fine."  He finally agrees.

Liam hops off the counter to fetch his make-up with Zayn, and Louis tries really hard not to think about what Liam uses his cosmetics for.

Once Louis is all done up, his face looks like something Photoshopped out of a glossy magazine.  He looks rather silly with his face looking pristine, but still shirtless and in sweats.

"I look ridiculous."  Louis states.

Harry is running waxed hands through his hair, trying to get it to lay just so.  "You look sexy as fuck.  Embrace it."

"My hair is absurd.  If a flamingo were standing behind me, its view would be blocked."  Louis reaches a hand up to try and flatten it some.

Zayn comes up behind him and bats his hand away.  "The shortest flamingo in the world would still be able to see over your head.  Now don't touch.  Haz and I worked hard on that."

Louis gives Zayn and his perfect hair a glare.  "Do you mean to specifically have one strand of hair hanging in front of your eyes, or did that fall there?"

"It's called style Louis.  It's supposed to be there.  I could give you one too if you don't want to feel left out."  Zayn offers.

"I think I'm okay."  Louis mumbles.

"A-hah!"  Harry throws his hands in the air.  "It's perfect!"

"Babe, you looked perfect 20 minutes ago."  Louis says.

"Ooo, I like it Haz."  Liam says from the doorframe.

"Thank you."  Harry says proudly.

"Well babe, should we head out?"  Zayn gives Liam a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, can we carpool with you?  I just need to get this shit on really quick."  Louis grabs Liam's concealer and tries twisting off the cap.  It won't come off.

Harry takes it from Louis and pops the cap off.  "Nah, lets drive separate love.  I want to make sure this gets put on correctly."

"Meet you over there then."  Zayn waves as he leaves with Liam.

"I don't need make up.  We could have saved the environment by carpooling."  Louis flinches as Harry presses the cold make-up sponge to underneath his eyes.

"You've done plenty for the environment."  Harry uses his pinky to feather the make-up in, then washes his hands off.  "Let's go then, yeah?"

"I should probably put on a shirt."  Louis walks over to his dresser to grab a t-shirt.  While digging through shirts, he grabs the box that holds Harry's engagement ring and nonchalantly shoves it into his suit bag- just in case.

"Wait!  You can't put on a pullover- here."  Harry throws a button up at him.  "Put that on."

"Well then I have to at least change into jeans."  Louis shimmies out of his sweatpants and into the closest pair of jeans and puts the shirt on.  "Were you going to wait till we get there to put on your suit?"

"Yeah.  May as well stay comfy as long as possible with you."  Harry takes him by the hand and his keys on their way out the front to Harry's Bentley.

"Taking your car this time?"  Louis asks as Harry locks the front door behind them.

"May as well show up in style."  Harry grins. 

"You're ridiculous."  Louis gives him a peck on the cheek and puts both of their suits in the back seat next to a bouquet of forget-me-nots.  "Flowers?"

"Yeah.  I got them for you and Jerry because I wasn't here for honoring his one-year death date a couple months back."  Harry rocks back and forth on his feet.  "Forgot to bring them in this morning.  I was a bit excited."

"I'll say."  Louis chuckles as he sits in the passenger seat.

"Wait, actually.  I want to check something out first."  Harry pockets his keys again and pulls Louis out of the car.

"What?  Did you forget something?"  Louis looks Harry up and down.

"No, but I want to investigate."  Harry says, slitting his eyes and trying to look suspicious.

"Investigate what?"  Louis asks.

Harry drags him across the street towards the two-story house that's almost finished being built.  "This!  This is new and you never said anything about it to me."

"Harry, this is someone else's property."  Louis whispers out as they walk around the landscaped yard.  "What if they're already living here?"

Harry stands on his tiptoes to peek into a window.  "The wood flooring isn't in the kitchen yet and the flood lights aren't installed.  We're not gonna get caught."

Louis jumps to try and peek in to no avail.  "How do you know it's wood flooring and flood lights?"

Harry drags him around the side of the house.  "Because there were piles of wood and wires hanging from holes in the ceiling silly."

"What if the neighbors see us?"  Louis looks around his neighborhood.  It's weird seeing his own house from this view.  Now that he thinks about it, he's never stood on this lot before and looked at his own flat.

"Stop worrying so much."  Harry pulls him around the corner and there's a small backyard and a patio built out with a sofa sitting outside the French doors.  "Do you think we can get in?"

"Harry, I really don't want to get arrested today.  I'm curious, but not _that_ curious.  The owners look pretty well-to-do and could probably add a lot of extra lettering I don't need to my criminal record."  Louis pulls at Harry's arm when he reaches for the door handle.

Harry shoves his hands in his pockets and pulls out his key ring again.  "What if I had keys for it?"

"What- _what_?"  Louis stares as Harry shoves keys into the back door and opens it up into a grand living room that's fully carpeted with sectionals and chaise lounges.  There's an electric fireplace against a wall with large oak built-in bookshelves with cabinets beneath them.  The kitchen is finished- save for the lights and flooring, and it looks similar to the upgraded kitchen in Louis' current flat along with a few other upgrades.

"Who's house is this?  Gemma's?"  Louis looks to Harry who is grinning like a maniac.

"It's ours love.  If you want it, I mean."  Harry squeezes his hand.  "I can always sell it and we can find somewhere else."

"What?"  Louis stares at Harry.  "You- this is your house?  You're building this house?"

Harry rolls his eyes.  " _I'm_ not building this house.  My dad's very sophisticated and efficient team of architects and construction workers are building it.  And it's not _my_ house.  It's _our_ house.  Harry and Louis'."

"This house has been- what the hell?  When did you start doing this?  How long have you been planning this?"  Louis gapes at him.

"Since that night at dinner with my dad in Brisbane.  You were there... You just didn't know what we were talking about."  Harry wiggles his eyebrows.

Right.  Lots of acronyms and business talk.  Louis remembers that much.

"Hang on- you were- so this house is built under your business?"  Louis asks.

"Don't worry about the semantics.  It's taken care of."  Harry shrugs.  "You just have always said how much you love this area and how it's close to work and we'll be like, close to Zayn because he lives across the street and, I dunno.  It just felt right."   Harry watches him closely.  "Do you... do you like it?"

"I- I love it Harry.  It's so... _nice_.  God, this is our house?  You built this for us?"  Louis tears his eyes away from Harry to really take in the house.

"Yeah babe."  Harry steps behind Louis and wraps his arms around his waist, then rests his chin on Louis' shoulder.

Louis wraps his arms backwards around Harry and just takes it all in for a couple minutes. 

"You had this built really fast."  Louis says.  "Like, I've been kept up at night because they- they work from sunrise till sunset."

"Oh that's only when they were doing the noisy parts.  It was a 24-hour affair for the first two months."  Harry kisses the crook of Louis' neck.  "Since I ended up coming home a couple weeks early, the house isn't going to be done till Christmas.  Hope that's okay."

"Everything about this is perfect Harry.  Can we walk around?"  Louis turns around in Harry's arms to give him a peck to the lips.

"Of course."  Harry leads Louis by the hand.  "Do you want the entire tour?"

"Obviously!"  Louis chirps.

"Well, here we have the unfinished kitchen- which I could have told you before I looked through the window."  Harry says like he thinks he's clever.

Louis gives him a light elbow to the ribs.  "Wanker."

"Wood flooring because it's warmer than tile and all my personal favorite appliances.  I got the same kinds of pots that I know you like- the Teflon coated ones that forks cannot be used to stir in."  Harry walks him around the granite island that stands in the middle of the kitchen.  "Had to call Zayn to double check the name of them."

" _Zayn_ knew you were doing this?"  Louis asks, baffled.

"Yep.  He called me a little ways back and we had a good heart-to-heart and I asked him the name of the pots then."  Harry pulls him back into the living room. 

"Here is our triple padded carpet living room so that we can walk around barefoot and after I have it professionally cleaned, we can enforce our no-shoes rule.  The fireplace is electric and environmentally friendly as well as all of the lights that will be installed.  The sectional, I went ahead and got because I've never heard you express an opinion on living room furniture and I kind of wanted it to look a certain way.  I hope that's okay."  Harry grins guiltily.

"Hazza, of course.  Anything you pick would be perfect."  Louis thumbs over the back of his knuckles.

Harry points to the built in bookcases.  "This is where we can store all of our books!  My golden encyclopedia set will fit all on the bottom shelf of the one on the left, and then the bottom one on the right is built to fit Queen Gohma's terrarium."

Louis looks at Harry.  "How did you-?"

"You conveniently brought Gohma up to Brisbane a few months back."  Harry states.  "Down this way is the master suite." 

Harry pushes open the doors and Louis is pleasantly surprised to see a master bedroom that isn't overwhelmingly large like was expecting.  It still has a sense of privacy and coziness.

"I really, really love it."  Louis says. 

And he does.  He can see their bed and dark curtains and old furniture giving it the right amount of moodiness to contrast the two large windows.  Well, except...

"Are we getting new furniture for the bedroom too?"  Louis asks.

"We can if you want.  Or we can keep the things you already have in your room."  Harry says. 

It's a lot of newness.  A lot of new things.  A house and a kitchen and a living room that he'll be living in with Harry.  A new bedroom.  Damn, he's slept in the same bedroom for 10 years.

"I think... I would like to get new things.  Things that will be our things.  And we can keep everything over at Zayn's house for like, old time's sake or something- or at least until he physically removes it."  Louis decides.

"So in other words, it'll be there forever?"  Harry chuckles.

"Exactly."  Louis says.

"Speaking of furniture and stuff- do you want me to get rid of my storage unit?  I'm kind of sorry you ever had to see all of that by the way."  Harry looks at his feet.

"It's fine love.  It's all just a part of you.  I get that you didn't get to be a normal teenager, so like, it's fine."  Louis squeezes his hand.  "As far as going forward, I want you to keep it.  It can be like your man cave when you need some space from me.  I just want you to always have a safe spot to go to that's always yours."

Harry gives him a kiss on the cheek.  "What about you then?  Is your room at Zayn's house going to be your safe spot?"

"Nowhere that Zayn and Liam are at the same time can be considered a safe spot."  Louis laughs.  Harry smiles in acknowledgement, but continues to wait for an answer.  "No babe.  The platypus habitat is my safe spot.  Always has been."

Harry gives him another soft smile, then leads him to the wall that conjoins into the master bathroom.

"There's a large hole in the wall."  Louis observes.

"There is."  Harry concurs.

"Why is there a hole in the wall between our bedroom and bathroom?"  Louis asks more clearly.

"How would you feel about putting an aquarium in here?"  Harry asks shyly.

Louis laughs. 

"If it's stupid, I can tell them to just fill it.  I wanted to check first though because, I dunno, I thought it might be cool.  But it's probably cheesy..."  Harry trails off.

"Haz, it's awesome.  I would love an aquarium in our bedroom-bathroom wall."  Louis leans over to peek through it.  "That way I can spy on you when you're taking showers."

Harry pulls him into the bathroom.  "I actually got the showers with clouded glass because I know how uncomfortable you were showering at my house that one time in the open.  The bath, however, definitely deserved to be up on a pedestal."

Louis leans his head on Harry's shoulder.  "I love you, you know that?"

"Not after you see the closet."  Harry replies too quickly, pulling Louis over to the giant walk in closet.

And well, the size of walk-in closet definitely overcompensates for the space in the bedroom itself, seeing as it's almost the same size.

"Holy fuck."  Louis says.

"I'm having Gemma grab the rest of my clothes from my parents, then with everything I got in Brisbane and the things still at the other house, I think it will be enough space for me."  Harry nods.  "I'm thinking we can get a small dresser and put it in the corner there for the three outfits you wear."  Harry points to a tiny corner of the closet.

"Oh shove off."  Louis elbows him and laughs.

Harry presses a quick kiss to his forehead and they walk back out to the living room.  "So that's basically it.  The upstairs is a couple guest bedrooms, a gaming room, and bathrooms.  It's nothing too magnificent, but it felt like us, so it felt right."

"Did you design it?"  Louis asks.

"Most of it.  I gave the architects specific instructions on certain things, and free rein with other things.  If there's anything you want changed- we seriously can do it.  I can tell them and they can fix anything or add anything."  Harry looks him in the eye.

Louis leans into a hug.  "Harry, it's more than I could ever hope for.  Thank you... I can't wait to live here with you." 

He really can't wait.  He looks around and already feels like he's settling into the home.  It's the perfect blend of Harry and Louis.

"We should probably get going babe.  We still need to help Niall set up for the wedding."  Harry kisses his forehead.

Right.  Niall and Barbara.  Louis thinks he probably won't be able to think about anything other than his and Harry's new home for the rest of the day, but he can certainly do his best and try.

"Let's go then darling.  We have a wedding to attend."  Louis gives him a chaste kiss to the lips and they walk out of their home hand-in-hand.

~~~


	63. Chapter 62

              
~~~

Louis feels like the front left pocket of his suit jacket is about 50 kilograms too heavy.  The stitching surely isn't strong enough to hold the enormous weight that is physically and metaphorically on his chest.

He's standing next to Zayn at the head of the bridal party.  Barbara looks beautiful in a dress that is simply elegant, and Niall is bawling his eyes out and trying to get through his vows.

All Louis can think about is Harry's engagement ring that he shoved in his Versace suit pocket at the last minute before walking down the aisle with one of the bridesmaids.  Why he did it, he'll never know.  But the last 15 minutes of Canon in D and blessing speeches from the Celebrant has him crawling out of his skin because everything in him feels like he's about to word vomit his proposal to Harry. 

He's not even sure it's the right time really is the thing.  It's a wedding and he feels a bit injected by a high dosage of it all.  The lawn chairs, the flowers, the green grass, the rose petals, everyone dressed to the nines.  That's all it is, he keeps telling himself.  It's just wedding nerves.

If there's one thing Louis Tomlinson will never do again, it's bring an engagement ring to someone else's wedding.

And then there's _Harry_. 

Harry sitting in the audience in his suit that looks better than Louis', looking at Louis like he's personally responsible for putting the cheese in cheesecake.  He just never stops smiling up at Louis, and now that Barbara is sobbing through her vows, Harry is getting teary eyed, and Louis was just not mentally or emotionally prepared for this kind of day.

It's some condolence to Louis though, that Liam is sitting right next to Harry making all sorts of inappropriate faces at Zayn who is silently quivering with laughter.  Louis wishes he were feeling a little more light-hearted and maybe he'd be trying to get Zayn to audibly laugh or something.

Niall and Barbara are pronounced man and wife, and they actually hug for a long moment before kissing, and it's so tender that Louis is ready to cut his own heart out of his chest and offer it to Harry on the silver platter he saw a butler walking around with earlier.

After that, Niall picks up Barbara bridal style and carries her down the aisle. 

Louis is about ready to do the same with Harry.

The audience laughs though, and everyone throws rose petals onto them as they make their way to the end of the aisle.  Once there, Niall sets Barbara down and dips her into a kiss, eliciting cheers from the audience.

"You look pale.  Are you okay?"  Zayn leans over and whispers in his ear.

Louis swallows dryly and nods.  "Just need some alcohol."

"I second that.  Now get moving.  We need to grab our escorts for the line."  Zayn nudges him.

Right.  Louis meets up with his escort- Claire with a fancy up-do- and follows Zayn and Brooke back down the aisle.  Brooke has been very mellow all day, and Louis thinks the aura of calm looks good on her.

Harry throws him a wink as he walks passed, and once the bridal party is lined up, the audience comes to give everyone hugs.  Louis thinks he's probably never hugged so many strangers in his life, and it's basically the best feeling in the world when Harry finally gives him a hug and kiss on the cheek. 

The MC ushers Niall and Barbara to the dance floor for their first slow dance as husband and wife, and that essentially means Louis' proximity to Claire is no longer needed.  So as gravity would have it, he finds himself next to Harry the second he's physically able to.  Once their hands are slotted together, Louis rushes them to the bar for some glasses of champagne.

"In need of a drink that badly?"  Harry giggles as Louis downs the bubbly pink liquid.

"So badly.  God."  Louis turns to the bartender.  "Another one please." 

Harry rubs the back of his knuckles against Louis' sleeve.  "Lou, you alright?"

'Marry me' are the only words Louis can even think right now, so he doesn't try opening his mouth to speak, and instead shakes his head, pointedly looking away from Harry.

The bartender pours him another glass of champagne and Louis pretends like he's going to drink it a little more slowly this time and takes multiple small sips in succession. 

"Could you mix a red bull in with something alcoholic for me?"  Harry asks the man.

"You want a Redbull Vodka?"  The bartender asks.

"Uh, sure?"  Harry responds.

Louis stares fixedly at Niall and Barbara who are slow dancing to Savage Garden and when he tilts his flute back again, he is dismayed to find that the champagne is gone. 

He should probably slow down.

He nearly jumps and yelps when Harry rubs at the small of his back.  "You seem really tense."

"Just... sleep deprived."  Louis sets his empty flute on the bar and prays that the alcohol floods his system soon.

"You look really good."  Harry says lowly, stepping a little closer to him.  "Is it just me, or are weddings a natural aphrodisiac?"

Louis really just wants to start babbling in Italian because it seems like the safest thing to do.  In the end, his brain goes for, "Did you know strawberries are a natural aphrodisiac?"

"They have strawberries over by the chocolate fountain- which happens to also be an aphrodisiac."  Harry wiggles his eyebrows.

Louis' blood starts to slow and he smiles.  "They must be trying to seduce us all."

Niall and Barbara's dance is over and everyone gives them a polite clap.  The MC announces the father-daughter dance next, and John Mayer starts playing through the speakers.

"You in this suit is seducing me."  Harry goes to trail a palm down Louis' chest, and Louis nearly jumps out of his shoes when he's about to graze where the ring box is.  Harry cocks his head, surely wondering why the hell Louis is so twitchy. 

Louis must fix this.

"Haz, I- I need to run to the car really quick.  I um, yeah.  Can I have the keys?"  Louis has to hide it in the glove box or _anywhere_ that's not on his person.

"Wait, will you dance with me first?"  Harry picks up Louis' hand before Louis has the chance to run away.

"But it's the-" Louis is cut off by the MC inviting other couples to join in on the dance floor.

Harry smiles sheepishly at him. 

And Louis.  Louis just can't bring himself to say no because he somehow feels that if he were to turn Harry down that he couldn't live with seeing the disappointed look on Harry's face.

"Yeah... I'd love to."  Louis leads Harry onto the dance floor, and though he can't do much other than sway back and forth, he hopes it's enough to satisfy Harry.

They stand on the make-shift dance floor for a moment, mentally deciding whose hands are going to go where.  Blue eyes meet green, and at the same they time clasp one hand in the other as Louis places his right hand on Harry's hip, and Harry places his left on Louis' shoulder.

Harry bites at his lip as Louis leads them in a slow circle and they sway to the beat of the music.  "I think you're at the top of my list of favorite dance partners."

"I think I want to kiss you."  Louis says.

"Do it."  Harry whispers as he tilts his head down a little closer to Louis' face.

So Louis does it.  He pulls him in close and kisses him and it feels like they're the only ones on the dance floor.  They keep it PG for the sake of others around, but he feels so impossibly connected and close to Harry.  He feels complete and so, so in love. 

They pull away, but keep the non-existent proximity and keep each other's bodies pressed against the others.  Louis hopes he doesn't say anything about the random protruding box that's probably digging into Harry's ribcage.

Harry does rest his head on Louis' shoulder though, and Louis kisses the side of his curly head.  "I love you Harry Styles." 

"I love you too Louis Tomlinson."  Harry mumbles from somewhere on Louis' shoulder.

'I can't wait until our wedding day', Louis wants to say, but doesn't.

When the song ends, Harry gives Louis a quick peck to the lips and the music changes to upbeat dance songs. 

"You _have_ to show me all of your wedding dance moves."  Harry grins maliciously.

"For _that_ , I will need to be much more inebriated."  Louis says.

There's a pat on his shoulder and Zayn is by his side.  "Are we getting sloshed?"

"Oh, did you plan on doing the cha-cha slide and Y.M.C.A. sober?  Because if so, I'd really like to get my phone out for it."  Louis pats on his pockets like he's going to get his phone.

"Definitely getting sloshed."  Zayn moans and Liam chuckles.

"By the way, thanks for conveniently not telling me that Harry was building me a fucking house."  Louis says as the four of them walk back over to the bar.

"So you _did_ tell him today!  I was getting so anxious!"  Liam exclaims.

"You knew about this too?"  Louis accuses.  "Harry, how could you do this?  Next thing you'll tell me is that Niall knew as well."

Harry blushes.  "Niall only knows because he called me up about the groomsman thing to apologize in advance- to which I said it wasn't a big deal.  But then he started asking about where we were going to be living when I got back and said he could hook us up with one of his penthouses, so I ended up just telling him about the house."

"I have the worst friends."  Louis says, but can't keep the fond grin off his face and warm feeling in his heart.

"So shall we turn this into a game to see who can get wasted first?  Or are we doing this like sophisticated adults?"  Zayn asks.

They all look at each other and grin.  Then in unison.  "Definitely a game."

So it's no surprise that an hour and a half later, Harry is hanging off Zayn, Zayn is incessantly poking Louis, and Louis is trying to get Liam to pronounce 'Ornithorhynchus anatinus' without stuttering as people on stage sing horrible karaoke renditions of Spice Girls and Whitney Houston.  Also, Louis' taken about a hundred selfies of himself and Harry.

"Liam, Liam, Liam!"  Harry announces into Zayn's ear.  "It's like ornament arithmetic." 

"Harry, what the hell?"  Zayn bats Harry away.  "Don't tell me, tell Liam."

"No, no, no.  Harry's got it all wrong."  Louis says.

"Louis, tell Zayn he's wrong!"  Harry yells into Zayn's ear again.

"Orinthorn-" Liam tries.

"Wrong!"  Louis points at Liam and Zayn pokes his side again.  "Damn it Zayn stop poking me!"

"I know what you're hiding."  Zayn wiggles his eyebrows at Louis.

"You know nothing Jon Snow!"  Harry yells into Zayn's ear again.

"Ouranjar-" Liam's tongue hangs out of his mouth.

"Babe no.  Put your tongue back in your mouth."  Zayn pokes Liam's tongue back into his mouth.

"It's Latin Liam!  _Latin_!  They don't have u's or j's in the Latin alphabet!"  Harry proclaims.

"Hazzie stop yelling in my ear."  Zayn tries leaning away, but Harry licks his ear.

"Ornithorhynchus anatinus."  Louis repeats.  "Almost like in Italian: Ornitorinco."

"Louis can I lick Zayn's ear again?"  Harry asks.

"Only if you lick mine first."  Louis holds his hands out for Harry to come to him.

"I don't want Harry licking my ear again."  Zayn mumbles.

"I'll lick your ear if you want."  Liam offers.

"Do not speak plebian until you can pronounce platypus properly in the mother of all languages!"  Louis demands from Liam.

"Sanskrit is actually considered the mother of all languages."  Harry says, now hanging off of Louis and licking at his ear.

"How the fuck do you know that?"  Louis asks.

Harry giggles and shrugs.

"Ornithorhynchus anati-"

"Schnabeltier!"  Louis yells at Liam.

Niall comes up to the group and hangs an arm around Liam's shoulder.  "How would you boys fancy some karaoke?"

"Yes!  Yes!  Yes!"  Harry jumps off of Louis and clings onto Niall's shoulder.

"What're we singing?"  Zayn asks.

"It has to be something before the 21st century otherwise I won't know any words."  Louis says.

"You're so old Louis."  Harry laughs, and then his face become serious.  "I love it."

Niall snorts out in laugher.  "I say Bohemian Rhapsody.  It's a karaoke classic and no one's done it yet."

Louis, Zayn, and Harry all nearly stumble over each other and run over a couple wedding guests on their way up to the stage.  By the time Liam and Niall catch up to them, they're already bouncing and down with microphones in their hands.

Niall cues for the MC to spin the track, and when the words pop up on the screen and they're signaled to start acapella, they all do so at different times, laughing hysterically and butchering it until the piano comes in and gets them all back on track.

Niall goes for the bellowing approach of the song, Liam melodramatically acting out each thing that he's singing about, Zayn head banging with his air-guitar, Harry dancing like he's Paula Abdul, and Louis giggling in between every line.

It's six minutes of solos, duets, trios, quartets, and the five of them together at different times with a couple off-harmonies and some improved scatting that makes it all the better.  By the end, they're all in a dog pile of sorts on the stage, and gasping for breath as they sing the outro in unison.

They get a standing ovation, and Harry gives Louis a big fat kiss on the lips.  Liam does the same with Zayn, then Barbara hoists herself onto the stage to give Niall a kiss.  Once they untangle their limbs from each other, they stand up and hold each other's hands as they take a bow and then partake in a celebratory group hug.

The sun is going down on the Sydney horizon and the wedding is wrapped up by Niall whisking Barbara off in a limo to the airport and then Saint Martin.  Louis, Harry, Zayn, and Liam all stay to help clean up the backyard and sober up some.

Two hours later, everyone's ties are loosened, top buttons undone, and sleeves rolled up as they put away the last of the folding chairs and throw away the remaining ribbons. 

Well.  Almost all the remaining ribbon.  Harry is insistent on keeping the blue bow headband in his hair for the rest of the night.

"Really Haz, I'm not bedding you with this still in your hair."  Louis chuckles as he pulls at the loose end of the bow.

"'Bedding me'?  You and your antediluvian vocabulary."  Harry jests.

"Better than an ostentatious one."  Louis pokes his nose.  "Besides, it won't matter what words I use later tonight when I'm doing it."

"Well I think that's our cue to leave.  I'm beat anyway.  I'll see you two back at the house."  Zayn gives Louis and Harry a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, we'll only be able to say that for another couple weeks.  Best make the most of it."  Liam agrees and then hugs them.  "See you back at the house."

"See you."  Louis and Harry chorus at the same time.

It's just Harry and Louis in Niall's kitchen; the rest of Niall's family already up or downstairs and getting ready for bed.

Harry lays his cheek on the granite countertop.  "I've been awake for 38 hours."

"Babe, you must be exhausted."  Louis pushes a curl from Harry's face and tucks it behind the blue ribbon in his hair.  "You ready to go home then too?"

"I know it's asking a lot because you're really tired too- and it's been a long day- but, do you think I could go see Perry?  I've really missed him.  And the flowers-" Harry yawns with half his face smushed against the flat surface.

"Of course babe.  It's kind of on the way anyway."  Louis rubs his thigh and helps him off the barstool.

Harry groans as he stands up and Louis helps Harry back into his suit jacket, then Harry helps him into his own.  They lock the back door before exiting and Harry opens the passenger door for Louis as he slides in.

Once Harry's sat down and started the car, Louis leans his head back against the seat and sighs.  The car ride is silent until they pull into the zoo parking lot.

Louis finally breaks the silence.  "It's so good to have you home again."

"It's really good to be home."  Harry reaches over the console to kiss Louis' hand, then grabs the bouquet of flowers and gets out of the car.

"You driving reminds me of when you had to drive me everywhere last year."  Louis smiles as he shuts the car door behind him.

"Me driving you reminds me of that time I was an idiot and didn't listen to you and Zayn."  Harry smiles guiltily and takes Louis' hand in his own.

"You're not going to hold that over yourself the rest of our lives are you?"  Louis asks.

"No.  I've accepted everything that happened and why.  Doesn't mean it's a lesson I'll let myself forget though."  Harry says.

"Sometimes forgetting things is the only mercy we can give ourselves."  Louis unlocks the door to the Platitat and lets Harry walk in first.

"Why are you always so scared of forgetting things then?"  Harry asks. 

"I never thought I deserved that when it would be at the expense of hurting others."  Louis walks over to Perry's pen where he's already running in circles and grunting.  "He knows you're here."

Harry sets the bouquet of flowers to the ground and grins larger than the Cheshire cat himself.  "Let him loose then."

Louis opens the pen and Perry dives into the water like a bat out of hell and springs from the water up onto the bank like a penguin.  Once on land, Perry is simply in ecstasy and clambers with muddy webbed paws right up the front of Harry's brand new suit and into his arms.

Harry kneels down laughing, meeting Perry halfway and cooing all sorts of sweet things to his platypus.  Perry squawks and grunts and touches as much of Harry as his little furry body can reach.  Louis relates all too well.

Once Perry's calmed down some, Harry buries his face into his back, cocoa curls cascading around the sides of the platypus and blending in with his fur.  "Missed you so much boy.  Thank you for taking care of my love in my absence."

Perry grunts in reply and Louis smiles.

Harry kicks his shoes and socks off, rolls his suit pants up to his knees, and sits right down on the muddy bank and dangles his feet into the water.  Perry settles into Harry's lap, and Harry shucks off his suit jacket.

Louis does the same, sitting next to Harry and dangling his feet in the pond.  Perry gives Louis an acknowledging nudge of the bill and Louis gives him a pat to the head, then discards his own suit jacket to the side of him.

"Shall we say a small memorial for Jerry?"  Harry asks.

Louis smiles softly.  "Sure." 

Harry picks up the bouquet of forget-me-nots and pulls a stem of flowers out for himself and Louis.  "Do you want to do the honors?"

Louis nods and takes a breath before beginning. 

"Jerry, it's been over a year now that you've been gone.  You were my best friend and were there for me when no one else was.  That's something I'll never forget.  I miss you every single day, and even though I wish you were still here, I'm so glad you didn't leave until you knew I'd be with someone who would care about me as much as you did."  Louis kisses Harry on the cheek. 

"I wish you could be here with us.  I'll love you forever though and you'll always be in my heart."  Louis picks some petals off the flowers and watches as they flutter into the pond.

"Rest in peace Jerry.  Thank you for keeping Louis around enough so that I could meet him.  I owe it all to you."  Harry kisses a handful of petals before letting them fall into the pond.

Once all the flowers are floating around in the water, Harry sets the stems off to the side.

"It's really weird seeing you here physically again."  Louis admits.  "For one, you've grown up so much since I first met you- like I still think of you as running around all young and excited for life in your cargo shorts and zoo shirts trying to impress me by ordering the same thing as me."

"Oh my goodness."  Harry blushes at that and nuzzles his head into Louis' shoulder.

"But secondly I'm used to being here by myself with Perry and just seeing you on my phone.  It's really nice to be able to feel you again."  Louis rubs his hand against the side of Harry's thigh, then sets it in the soil next to Harry's. 

"It's a little weird being here again if I'm being honest."  Harry lifts his head up to tie his hair into a bun with the blue ribbon that was previously used as a headband. 

"The smell reminds me so much of you-" Louis gives him a look so Harry rushes out, "I mean it's a good thing.  Not in a bad way at all.  Like, the Platitat smells kind of like home to me too because it's where I fell in love with you."

Louis' heart does little flips at that.  "Well the platypus habitat has always been my home.  So it only makes sense that it's where I fell in love with you too."

The Southern Cross and moon light up the night sky, and the ripples of the pond fill the silence between them.  Perry purrs in Harry's lap. 

"You deserve to let yourself forget things too by the way.  Whether it's parts of your past or what you think your future is going to end up like.  If it's painful, you should let it go and let yourself be happy."  Harry says next to him.

Louis smiles down at his hands.  "Yeah Haz.  I think I'm there, you know?  I think this is what acceptance feels like.  It feels like happiness."

Harry twirls his toes around in the water causing the ripples to kiss the skin on Louis' shins.  "I think you feel like happiness."

"I think that's my line."  Louis chuckles.  "Since I've met you, you've been my happiness.  The reason I wake up and go to sleep smiling.  The reason I want to live and be in love.  The reason that I don't ever want to forget."

"Awe."  Harry's tone is playful, but his eyes are sincere.  "That was so sweet.  Did you prepare that?"

"No actually."  Louis gives him a quick kiss to the lips.  "But since we're here..." Louis reaches over to pull the ring box from his jacket pocket and holds it out for Harry, "Will you marry me Harry Styles?"

Harry looks from the ring box back up to Louis' face.  "What?"

"I would repeat my speech, but I've already forgotten it."  Louis grins.  "But I love you and I officially want to ask you to marry me so that you'll be around for all the other things I forget in the future too."

"Louis- yes.  Yes.  A thousand times yes..."  Harry's lips part into a wide smile.  "How long- when- what- can I see the ring?"

Louis blinks.  "Oh, yeah of course."  Louis opens the ring box and hands it to Harry. 

"My God- this..." Harry eyes are clouded with unshed tears as he looks back and forth from the ring to Louis' eyes, " _Louis_."

"Do you like it?"  Louis asks.

"It's perfect!"  Harry nearly sobs out and Perry grunts in his lap.  "Will you put it on me?"

"Yeah- sorry.  'S my first time doing this."  Louis carefully pulls the ring out and slides it onto Harry's left ring finger that has some mud caked under his nail already. 

After it's on, Louis brings Harry's hand to his lips to kiss where the engagement ring now sits.

"It's my first time doing this too."  Harry leans in closer to Louis' lips.

"Well, let us pioneer this together then."  Louis closes the gap and kisses him.

The kiss is short and mostly full of teeth because both of them can't stop smiling. 

Harry pulls away far enough to mumble against Louis' lips.  "I love you so much."

"Love you so much too."  Louis smiles.

Harry picks up his platypus and snuggles his face into Perry.  "Perry I'm engaged!"  He looks back up to Louis.  "Oh my God, Louis.  We're _engaged_."

Louis chuckles.  "Yeah.  Gemma will be thrilled to know I finally asked you."

"Gemma knew?!"  Harry sets Perry back down in his lap.  "Who else knew?"

Louis rubs Harry's arm.  "Zayn and Liam obviously.  Your dad was the first to know though-"

"Sorry, my _dad_?"  Harry gapes.

"Mmhmm."  Louis hums.  "The day we were all out to dinner in Brisbane.  I asked his blessing and he said yes."

This time a tear in Harry's eye spills over.  "He's okay with me marrying you?"

"Yeah.  He is."  Then Louis adds.  "However, he is under the impression that you'll be changing your last name to Tomlinson sooo..."

Harry giggles through watery eyes.  "I can't wait to be Harry Tomlinson."

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."  Louis wipes the tear tracks from Harry's cheeks.

Most of the forget-me-nots have gathered around Harry and Louis' feet, and Perry jumps in to swim around the pond.

"I love you Louis."  Harry's eyes dart back and forth to Louis'.  "Out of everything, please don't ever forget that."

Louis smiles because he knows.  He knows out of all the things that will be thrown at him in life, this is the one thing he will never forget.

"Never."  Louis leans and kisses his fiancé.

_Fin._

~~~

A/N: You readers of The Forgotten Habitat are a special bunch. I dedicated a good amount of my life to writing this novel because it's as special to me as all of you guys are. Thank you so much for reading, liking, commenting, and sharing with your friends. Thank you mostly for the support and love you've given me throughout this journey.

The book is currently for sale (unbetaed and in original novel form) on Amazon. I'll be continuing to edit it to be fancier and cleaner as time goes on, but if you want one of the original versions, those are up for grabs now.

Thank you again for your feedback and I hope to see you lovely readers in the comment sections of my other stories!

Love you guys <3

-Dannie Ybarra


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